ALSO PULLED THE TRIGGER PROBABLY  10:31 am July 24, 2012

Wingnuts Furious: Obama Hugged A White Gal

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

inpeach

Do you see that picture, above, of Barack Hussein NOoBaMA hugging a white woman who saved her friend’s life in the Aurora massacre? Yes, Stephanie Davies stayed with her friend Allie Young, who’d been shot in the neck, and kept applying pressure to the wound even after her friend told her to run. What do you suppose the wingnuts have to say about Barack Obama going to visit wounded people in the hospital? Do you suppose they have an opinion? We bet they are all saying, “oh, that’s nice, Barack Obama went to the hospital and made some people feel better,” we bet that is what they are probably saying. They could even have made a joke, like, guess he didn’t need 110 fundraisers in six months har har. Sure, they could have said that! Let us find out the answer to this important question, after the jump!

Oh right. We forgot. [WeaselZippers]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 281 comments }

chascates July 24, 2012 at 10:33 am

God, there is nothing he can do that isn't 'for politics' or against America or for abortion or aaaaaARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!

HistoriCat July 24, 2012 at 10:37 am

You have obviously forgotten that he is a blah in the White House!

Impeach!

weejee July 24, 2012 at 10:41 am

Obviously commits the sacrilege of putting beans in his chilli, too also.

Gurkman July 24, 2012 at 11:05 am

He probably also thinks hard taco shells are OK and it's alright to put sauce on pasta while the noodles are still hot to avoid having to heat the sauce up.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 2:52 pm

NEVAH FORGET Teh Mustard.

Madfall July 24, 2012 at 10:59 am

And yet if he'd stayed away he would have got criticized for that too.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Some ass on facebook (I think they should just give up and call it assbook) was whining that the President *didn't* take a vacation this year. Apparently, that was nothing more than a cynical ploy for votes.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 2:53 pm

ohgod are you fucking kidding me. I think I just plotzed.

Barb_ July 24, 2012 at 10:33 am

The funniest thing is how lovely and healthy the lady in the bed looks despite some of her lifesaving machinery being moved out to make room for Barry's teleprompter.

Chichikovovich July 24, 2012 at 10:38 am

They plugged the teleprompter feed in to the screen that's normally the vital signs monitor.

Barb_ July 24, 2012 at 10:48 am

Mitt should show up to the maternity ward and kiss some babies. I'd love to watch footage of a nurse handing a baby to Ann and watching her try to hand it off to the nanny that won't be there. "Oh shit, what do I do with this kid?"

AbandonHope July 24, 2012 at 11:06 am

More like "What is this thing? It is too small to be a horse." I'd imagine that, from birth to about teenage years, Ann didn't see hide nor hair of her children.

Barb_ July 24, 2012 at 11:10 am

Thanks for the horse/baby reference. Like we need another FLOTUS who is trying to shove carrots into us. Wait, there could be the occasional sugar cube. Romney/Other White Boring Rich Guy 2012!

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 12:29 pm

"I'd imagine that, from birth to about teenage years, Ann didn't see hide nor hair of her children."

The servants brought them out all cleaned up once a day for the parents and any guests to admire, then brought them back to wherever it is they keep them.

HateMachine July 24, 2012 at 10:51 am

My fellow Americans, beep. beep. beep. beep. beepbeepbeepbeepbeeeeeeeeep.

Just kidding, beep. beep. beep. beep.
etc.

fuflans July 24, 2012 at 10:56 am

what an extraordinary story this is. almost gives me hope.

Barb_ July 24, 2012 at 10:59 am

Morning, FuFlans! I am hoping that many people show up to form a human wall today to block the Westboro Baptist Church idiots from disrupting the funeral services of the fallen today.

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 11:10 am

Your pee-ness increased by 30 overnight! Sowing your wild oats?

Barb_ July 24, 2012 at 11:16 am

Shh Chet, it's scaring the crap out of me, seriously. It feels like the first day of school and I can't wait to get to fourth period to see who I can sit with in the cafeteria. God, I hope my mom remembered to take the cellophane off the freaking cheese on my sammich this time.

HistoriCat July 24, 2012 at 11:19 am

You got to sit with people at lunch?? Lucky!

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 11:20 am

Your underscore is very dainty, like drinking tea with your pinky out!

Terry July 24, 2012 at 11:21 am

My dear sainted mother learned to cook from Julia Child's cooking shows on public television. Until she'd seen a sufficient number of episodes, however, there were disasters. Like the day she sent Dad to work with a sandwich made with the picture of the baloney* rather than the baloney itself.

* – For the youngsters out there. Baloney used to come in a stack with a piece of cardboard on either end. On the outer side of the cardboard was an image of delicious looking baloney that looked little or nothing like what you saw when you unwrapped the actual baloney.

Geminisunmars July 24, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Well, it probably was healthier for him, at least.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 2:58 pm

My mother *never* learned to cook. Fortunately, Dad loved his kids, and to spare us Mum's experiments, he rose manfully to the challenge.

finallyhappy July 24, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Phyllis- is that you? Although I think that was a frozen sandwich your mom pre made, heated up and the plastic melted into the bread and cheese

Biel_ze_Bubba July 24, 2012 at 11:13 pm

A rapidly-inflating p-ness is a reliable sign of good things to come.

kittensdontlie July 24, 2012 at 11:13 am

The scene is definitely staged. That same set was on a rerun of ER last week.

HistoriCat July 24, 2012 at 11:20 am

Oh great – coming to a RWNJ comment near you soon.

bikerlaureate July 24, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I laughed.

Don't know how you keep doing it, but you're one of the reasons I hang out here.

arihaya July 24, 2012 at 4:36 pm

now Barb, you should audition to Comedy Central

Barb_ July 24, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Thank you Arihaya.

Sir_Fartz_Alot July 24, 2012 at 10:34 am

where's the white women at?

Dr_Zoidberg July 24, 2012 at 10:38 am

Damn you…beat me to it.

Troubledog July 31, 2012 at 1:45 am

do you mine if we dance wif yo dates?

Fraudulently_Joe July 24, 2012 at 10:35 am

Well, with that subheader, at least you can't accuse Weasel Zippers of being dishonest about where their editorial decisions come from.

thatsitfortheother1 July 24, 2012 at 10:45 am

The same place tripe always comes from.

CapeClod July 24, 2012 at 10:47 am

Actually they should be called Tapeworm Zippers.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Parasite Pals(tm) for EVERYONE!

HogeyeGrex July 24, 2012 at 11:28 am

Somehow, the part that says "with my tongue" seems to have gotten cropped off.

MacRaith July 24, 2012 at 10:36 am

Even worse – he was probably breathing. The nerve of him, standing there using oxygen that rightfully belongs to other people!

starfanglednut July 24, 2012 at 10:50 am

White people.

MacRaith July 24, 2012 at 10:51 am

Yeah, but you have to speak in code, so you have plausible deniability when you get called out for racism.

Chichikovovich July 24, 2012 at 11:03 am

Exactly. You have to say "people who breathe the way the Founding Fathers did."

extreme_left July 24, 2012 at 6:16 pm

it's in the constituton!

eggsacklywright July 24, 2012 at 10:36 am

And they gave him 6000 rounds of applause.

Guppy July 24, 2012 at 12:12 pm

with votes!

Goonemeritus July 24, 2012 at 10:36 am

I don’t know about you but this reinforces my commitment to drive dozens of illegal aliens to the polls to vote for Barry.

Dr_Zoidberg July 24, 2012 at 10:38 am

Don't forget the fake IDs!

Chichikovovich July 24, 2012 at 11:05 am

By the way – when we have all those dead people vote, we don't actually have to dig them up do we? Gross.

The instructions from the DNC were a bit unclear on that point.

Goonemeritus July 24, 2012 at 11:08 am

Just down load the “so you want to steal this election too” I-phone app from the George Soros web site.

BerkeleyBear July 24, 2012 at 1:18 pm

No digging. In fact, the Chicago tradition is to do as little as possible to acknowledge the person's death (keep on a few credit lists, have someone keep cashing those Social Security checks). I'm sure your local ward boss will give you a list along with your walking around money for getting your stand-ins to the polls for the second and third times.

PeaceWithHonor July 24, 2012 at 10:37 am

Shit, this country has really gone off the deep end since Emmett Till.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:01 pm

See what happens when you let those n*s get away with saying shit like "Where all de white wimmen at?"

ChernobylSoup July 24, 2012 at 10:38 am

Momma's obviously a Republican. Look at that scowl.

thatsitfortheother1 July 24, 2012 at 10:38 am

I'd hug her, too. I'd need some of that ICU equipment after my wife got done with me but…

John Birf Society July 24, 2012 at 10:38 am

"Your friend and I will slip into that bed and I'll show you the original Obamacare"

KeepFnThatOwl July 24, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Oh jesus, I lost another keyboard.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:02 pm

You're just trying to make me EVEN MOAR JELUS, aren't you?????????????

Beowoof July 24, 2012 at 10:39 am

Oh Oh, next he is going want to get her high with marijuana and play the jungle music to get into her pants. In the words of Clevon Little, "where da white women at".

hagajim July 24, 2012 at 10:47 am

And now for the latest episode of "White Chicks, Black Dicks"

sewollef July 24, 2012 at 1:00 pm

'scuse me, what channel is that? Does Time Warner have that channel?

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Man I love me some Cleavon Little.

prommie July 24, 2012 at 10:39 am

He committed an outrage against her honor! Why, he had the temerity to just look straight at her, he raped her with his eyes! Someone get the rope, I have some torches!

thatsitfortheother1 July 24, 2012 at 10:43 am

Don't give them any ideas.

prommie July 24, 2012 at 10:53 am

Give them the idea? Hell, its been their obsession for 3 and a half years. The Tea Party ain't nothing but a lynch mob going incognito. Give me credit when you quote me now.

thatsitfortheother1 July 24, 2012 at 10:55 am

I'm unsuccessfully trying to act like you are not 100% correct.

FakaktaSouth July 24, 2012 at 11:00 am

Aight, I have a small problem with this analogy. Have you seen the fat-ass bloated tick-types that make up the tea party? You think one of them old fucks could hoist anything into a tree? seriously?

prommie July 24, 2012 at 11:07 am

Nah but they'd be the ones to stand around and watch and pose for pictures with the body afterwards.

HistoriCat July 24, 2012 at 11:22 am

I just assumed that's why you had so many of them – they just all grab onto the rope and share the burden. Which, now that I've written it, sounds suspiciously like Socializm …

GunToting[Redacted] July 24, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Those Rascals have a surprising amount of torque.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:06 pm

They have a *rich* fantasy life, in between gunning down mentally ill attackers under conditions that would have Seal Team Six worried, single-handedly defending the nation from Brown People and the "honour" of their equally bloated fat-ass spouses from various knee-grows, and seeing Commies under every bed and Nutzis in every white house.

FakaktaSouth July 24, 2012 at 10:46 am

She looks really sad about it too. She looks like she wants to grab his butt.

You know it would have been grosser if he had used one of the people who died as a prop like CNN and the rest did allllll weekend.

prommie July 24, 2012 at 10:54 am

I am glad I missed that shit.

Fraudulently_Joe July 24, 2012 at 10:55 am

But if he doesn't use one of the people that died as a prop, how will he and Biden avoid the mafia and recover the hidden money?

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Bitch looks like she's totally enjoying it WAY more than she fucking deserves to. What about MY NEEDS? I HAVE NEEDS, MR. PRESIDENT. I NEED A HUG, DAMMIT.

Check out her friend's expression, she's all like, I so haz teh jelus and I'm'a kick your ass soon's they let me outa this bed, bitch, you totally fucking HOGGED my Prez.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Variations of that all over the RWNJ sites on the InterToobz, basically.

midnighttoker69 July 24, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Don't forget your Bible.

weejee July 24, 2012 at 10:39 am

With apologies to FDR:

The only thing we have to sell is fear itself

SoBeach July 24, 2012 at 10:39 am

What kind of monster is he?

Beowoof July 24, 2012 at 10:42 am

In their minds the worst kind, a smart brown skinned politician.

prommie July 24, 2012 at 10:47 am

Why, History's Worst Monster (HWM) of course.

ibwilliamsi July 24, 2012 at 11:49 am

The blah kind.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Let's see: smart, sexy, fit, muscular, gorgeous … brb.

mrpuma2u July 24, 2012 at 10:42 am

The nerve of this Obama character, showing human emotion and empathy with these plebians.

Terry July 24, 2012 at 11:22 am

He probably never once said the phrase "you people" while talking to them either.

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 10:43 am

After national tragedies a real President should ignore the victims and go play guitar at John McCain's birthday party.

thatsitfortheother1 July 24, 2012 at 10:47 am

Give it a fly-by and go back to brush clearin'.

hagajim July 24, 2012 at 10:48 am

Why not, that's pretty much what Bushie did after Katrina.

fuflans July 24, 2012 at 10:50 am

or go to broadway to see 'spamalot'

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Buy expensive shoes at SuxFilthAvenyoo. Ferragamos, or whatever.

freddymcmurray July 24, 2012 at 11:00 am

or at least go shoe shopping in manhattan

FNMA July 24, 2012 at 11:19 am

And the asshole only pretended to play the guitar.

Fraudulently_Joe July 24, 2012 at 11:27 am

Mitt Romney promises to reinstate the grand American tradition of sending dressage judges to the site of the tragedy in the President's stead.

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 11:28 am

Maybe he can put another horse judge in charge of FEMA again!

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 11:33 am

Or go Full Caligula and put a horse in charge.

Dudleydidwrong July 24, 2012 at 11:53 am

Romney's already the south end of a north-bound horse.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:12 pm

And yet Little Boots resisted the urge.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Heckuvajob, Joe.

MissTaken July 24, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Hey now, those birthday brownies did a heckuva job at that party.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Goddammit.

FakaktaSouth July 24, 2012 at 10:43 am

Not much of a hero-friend anyway, a true friend woulda had a bazooka at the movies with her ahead of time in case she had to shoot a guy when that chick's carotid artery fell out.

prommie July 24, 2012 at 10:46 am

Now Huffpost is for shit I know it, but they have a story that says 3 men died laying on top of their girlfriends to shield them from the shooting. Thats just so tragically tragic in a Romeo and Juliet-y way. Or else they were just trying to get one last quick one in, you never know.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 24, 2012 at 10:53 am

See? This is the problem with being a lady gay. I don't have 200+ lbs of man-meat to hide behind during a shooting. Gonna have to find me a fat chick.

FakaktaSouth July 24, 2012 at 10:57 am

I can say with complete certainty though, there is nothing worse than a little dude with little dude syndrome – and I envy your not having to deal with THAT shit ever. But, if you don't wanna get shot, just, ya know, always be packing, I am sure you have perfect aim when panicking in the dark like all the Republicans must.

prommie July 24, 2012 at 11:05 am

They got little hands
And little eyes
And they walk around
Tellin' great big lies. . .
Well, I don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Round here

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 11:08 am

That's why us tall dudes makes superior boyfriends!

(Just kidding, short guys. Hey, some of my best friends are short.)

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 11:13 am

Did you get the prospectus in your inbox yesterday?

prommie July 24, 2012 at 10:57 am

Its just the selfish genes, you know. If they've been bonking, then there is a chance the lady is knocked up, and therefore the man's genes will carry on in the offspring. So, in the situation presented, the strategy most likely to result in the survival of the man's genes, is for him to sacrifice himself and save the possibly preggers lady.

Long story short, the fat chick won't have that instinct to save you.

Or else maybe its just love, which would be nice, wouldn't it?

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 24, 2012 at 12:28 pm

But Prommie, you're assuming that I'm passively waiting around for them to throw themselves on me. No, I will be actively trying to shield myself behind their bulk and/or push them into the shooter's path.

Terry July 24, 2012 at 11:23 am

It could be worse. You could have 350-400 lbs of man-meat that could gallantly fall on you in case of emergency.

GunToting[Redacted] July 24, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Chris Christie libel?

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Don't you mean "You could have 350-400 lbs of man-meat that could gallantly fall on you in case of and cause an emergency."?

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Trust you, prommie, to bring that up. Man, are you fucking gross and perverted, or what? (Hugs prommie)

So disgusting, this guy. I might be in love.

prommie July 24, 2012 at 10:44 am

The poor girl just wanted him to help her bust up a chiffarobe.

AncienReggie July 24, 2012 at 11:15 am

FTW!

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 12:44 pm

One thousand upfists AND a tiara for you!

Chow Yun Flat July 24, 2012 at 10:44 am

The brave young lady hugging the President will wish she was facing gunfire in a packed movie theater again after the vicious right-wing assholes use this picture to show how White Amerikkka is collapsing.

Geminisunmars July 24, 2012 at 12:41 pm

More likely she will be feeling tingly where he touched her for years to come. Proud and tingly.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:21 pm

I was just thinking that some things are worth any risk.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:20 pm

What Gem said, man. TOTES what Gem said.

sbj1964 July 24, 2012 at 10:45 am

Lost in the 50's.wingnuts?

weejee July 24, 2012 at 10:58 am

The 1850s? The Compromise of 1850, Bleeding Kansas, Dred Scott??

CapeClod July 24, 2012 at 10:45 am

This is the biggest outrage since Captain Kirk was forced to kiss Uhura against their wills on TV.

ibwilliamsi July 24, 2012 at 11:50 am

They won't even run that one anymore, will they? I mean, it goes against everything we know!

Guppy July 24, 2012 at 12:15 pm

It will involve secret fapping in shame?

EatsBabyDingos July 24, 2012 at 10:45 am

I thought all Obama did was play golf and kill Steve Jobs?

CrunchyKnee July 24, 2012 at 10:45 am

WIllard would have gone as well, but he doesn't know where Aurora is located, he thinks the only town in Colorado is Aspen.

thatsitfortheother1 July 24, 2012 at 10:51 am

It's not. There is Boulder, too.

MosesInvests July 24, 2012 at 11:04 am

The People's Republic of Boulder? Nah, Mittens is familiar with Aspen, Vail and *maybe* Colorado Springs, aka Bibleburg. But not heathen, hippie Boulder.

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 11:09 am

He's probably familiar with Denver, aka that airport his private jet stops at on a cross-continental trip.

ritingon July 24, 2012 at 11:13 am

Ironically, that airport isn't in Denver, it's down south in Centennial.

Gah. Facts getting in the way of funny. /pounds self on head

Geminisunmars July 24, 2012 at 12:43 pm

And Centennial deserves him.

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 10:46 am

So, according to this moron Obama should have refused to visit the victims, because it's apparently somehow political. And if he had I'm sure the exact same person wouldn't be screaming "NOBama won't visit shooting victims, doesn't care about them!1!!"

Chow Yun Flat July 24, 2012 at 10:46 am

Stepanie Davies has really changed since her British soap opera days:
http://www.digitalspy.ie/soaps/i407095-8/british-

noodlesalad July 24, 2012 at 10:47 am

MittBott sys err 2012: humanemotion.exe failed to open

kittensdontlie July 24, 2012 at 11:08 am

Caution to GOPERs: The scene you are about to view contains the human emotion EMPATHY, which you wingnuts always find objectionable…please look away now.

HempDogbane July 24, 2012 at 10:47 am

Christian side-hug !

Estproph July 24, 2012 at 10:50 am

But no side-boob

Guppy July 24, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Look at the arms. That's exactly what he tried to do, but she wanted the full-on, "presidential" experience and wouldn't settle for anything less!

She obviously lost her aspirin in the chaos in the theater.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 1:00 pm

"She obviously lost her aspirin in the chaos in the theater."

I don't think you need birth control for just a hug.

Fraudulently_Joe July 24, 2012 at 10:47 am

Oh, Weasel Zippers, just be honest with yourselves and admit that it's the notion of interracial hugs that's filling you with rage here.

johnnyzhivago July 24, 2012 at 10:48 am

Mitt Romney was consoling as well, although he did mention that while he didn't know any shooting victims he did have some friends who owned gun companies.

arihaya July 24, 2012 at 4:46 pm

he didn't know any of the shooting victims, but he did have some friends who owned movie theater.

SayItWithWookies July 24, 2012 at 10:48 am

As connected as these wingnuts are, you'd think they'd tell everyone to just lay low with the massacrees and whatnot till after the election so's they wouldn't be giving President Obama all these opportunities to hug innocent heroic chicks and such.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:25 pm

You'd think. Especially since, judging from those two, they'd have him flat on his back in the next bed if the Secret Service wasn't there to protect him.

fuflans July 24, 2012 at 10:49 am

i would take a bullet in the neck for a chance to hug barry.

just saying…

vtxmcrider July 24, 2012 at 10:11 pm

What you really want is Barry's bullet in your neck.

KeepFnThatOwl July 24, 2012 at 10:49 am

I love my President. He gets on my nerves sometimes, but he's mine.

Terry July 24, 2012 at 11:27 am

Mom keeps a photo of him by her place at the table and prays for his health and safety every day. She's still can bring tears to her eyes over JFK.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I don't know how anyone else feels about this, but it brings tears to MY eyes. Your poor Mom. Please thank her from me for caring so much about OUR President.

vtxmcrider July 24, 2012 at 10:13 pm

I pray that nothing happens to him. It would be years before we would have another President with a cute ass like that.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Even John McCain thinks so. Remember when he was all grabbing at Barry's ass?

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 11:34 am

Michelle, is that you?

Jus_Wonderin July 24, 2012 at 10:49 am

I just don't have the energy to rage on this. Except to say, Republican's are fuckin' idiots.

hagajim July 24, 2012 at 10:49 am

I think Weasel Zippers might have their tag line wrong…they might just be "The Bowels" of the internet.

Terry July 24, 2012 at 11:28 am

No, that's Glen Beck's website.

Billmatic July 24, 2012 at 10:50 am

It never seems to dawn on these nitwits that they are the ones making non political situations and events political.

MonkeyMotion July 24, 2012 at 10:52 am

Geezus Kryst, now Obama's trying to steal all the credit from Republicans who are really responsible for the great gun-maker, undertaker and medical jobs created by this massacre.
Will he stop at nothing?

johnnyzhivago July 24, 2012 at 10:52 am

When Romney visited the victims they were slightly taken aback when he said "I see you guys really splurged on those pajamas"

ph7 July 24, 2012 at 10:57 am

Romney's never stayed in a shared hospital room, but he's friends with several for-profit hospital owners who have spoken favorably of the revenue per square foot yield of the shared hospital room.

Dudleydidwrong July 24, 2012 at 11:58 am

"I see you guys really splurged on those pajamas. They must have come from 7-11."

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 1:02 pm

That's why the filthy peasants are poor, you know. They don't understand good old Christian American values like thrift and saving.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I don't understand why no one else is offering an analysis of the subtext of Romney's remarks. His contempt for the peasantry just oozes from each word.

vtxmcrider July 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm

But he said it with disdain, instinctively knowing that they were not magic pajamas.

Radiotherapy July 24, 2012 at 10:54 am

You people just don't understand.

Estproph July 24, 2012 at 10:54 am

Y'know, most people would assume that "scouring the bowels of the internet" was to find the most egregious things there, and show the world how terrible they are. I guess it can also mean to purposefully put them there. WeaselZippers – Making The Internet Horrid Since 2012.

Schmegeg July 24, 2012 at 10:54 am

If he pointed out that she is 25 and covered on her parents insurance, then THAT would be political.

johnnyzhivago July 24, 2012 at 10:55 am

OK, so when is it going to come out that Bain Capital owned a company that made high capacity ammo clips??

Geminisunmars July 24, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I think I read that somewhere so it must be true.

Dashboard Buddha July 24, 2012 at 10:55 am

Well, WZ seems to be on its way to becoming the next go-to news resource. Catching up to Drudge?

Of course, it's the comments that really make the site. Insightful comments like, "I don't remember GWB publishing pictures like this" are just the thing a vibrant political site needs.

SorosBot July 24, 2012 at 11:11 am

I don't remember him publishing pictures like this either, probably because W had no empathy and didn't give a shit about the actual victims of tragedies, even as he politically milked the big one for all it was worth.

Dashboard Buddha July 24, 2012 at 11:25 am

Here's onehttp://www.tomllewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/8-20-GWB-Ft-Hood.jpgI saw another one, but now I can't find it. But yeah, no shit given for actual victims. The dude has all of the empathy of a brick.—

vtxmcrider July 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm

"Watch this one!"

Biel_ze_Bubba July 24, 2012 at 11:19 am

Dumbya avoided the wounded as if they had the plague… of course there were few such photos. I wonder if Cheney ever told him that people got hurt in Iraq.

Dashboard Buddha July 24, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Are you kidding? Cheney fapped over casualty reports while laughing maniacally.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 12:56 pm

*shudder*
Now THERE's a mental picture I coulda done without!

BerkeleyBear July 24, 2012 at 1:25 pm

You joke, but supposedly W is something of a germaphobe. There are stories about him rushing to use hand sanitizer after meeting Obama and others, and wiping his hands on Bill Clinton in Haiti. If he's that freaked out by (relatively) healthy people, I can only wonder what hospitals do to him.

Which should have been yet another reason to let him nowhere near decisions about other people's health or lives. And definitely is a red flag about the similarly non-empathic Romney.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I haven't forgotten his last visit to wounded troops, wherein he regaled them with the story of the terrible injuries he had suffered while clearing brush.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 12:55 pm

"I don't remember GWB publishing pictures like this"

We never saw pictures of the little prick doing anything like this because he never did anything like this. He was too lazy, too selfish, and too afraid of catching poor people cooties.

fawkedifiknow July 24, 2012 at 10:55 am

An NRA approved Republican president would have asked, "Other than that, how did you like the movie"?

Guppy July 24, 2012 at 12:18 pm

No, he'd be hugging James Holmes, consoling him after he had all his precious, God-given guns seized by jack-booted thugs.

bflrtsplk July 24, 2012 at 10:56 am

If that had happened in Alabama, Obama would have been arrested!

subsum July 24, 2012 at 10:56 am

I read some of the comments on that site and they sound pretty much like us: they hate Barry as much as we hate Republicans. So, that gives us the green light to keep calling them a bunch of ignorant racist motherfuckers, which they are.

CapeClod July 24, 2012 at 10:56 am

Saving that woman's life was obviously against the will of God since he was punishing those people for banning prayering in the schools. That woman is definately going to hell especially after touching the devil president.

Beetagger July 24, 2012 at 10:57 am

Her Mandingo moment.

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 10:58 am

Who in the fuck is "Weasel Zippers" and why should I care what they think? I reiterate my protest that we are concentrating too much on every random wingtard douche and moron out there.

Chow Yun Flat July 24, 2012 at 11:01 am

At least it gave Rebecca the chance to run a great image in the wake of the the horrible Aurora shooting.

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 11:04 am

Yes, but graffiti'd over by that nonsense.

FakaktaSouth July 24, 2012 at 11:08 am

I do find their use of the word "gross" to be a tell-tale sign of their superior intellect. But DAYUM look at that man's face! He is so lovely, so endearing, so compassionate. I would save my shot-friend to use him as my prop any day.

Radiotherapy July 24, 2012 at 11:04 am

Certainly don't go read the comments Chet, there is no shortage of winghate out there.

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 11:07 am

I got sideswiped by a couple of them. Ugh.

qwerty42 July 24, 2012 at 11:07 am

Well, yes, but they are so full of nuttiness, hate and general illogical goofiness it is hard to ignore them. Like malevolent clowns. Which, I guess, they are.

Chow Yun Flat July 24, 2012 at 11:09 am

I think that Wonkette has gone a bit overboard in the search for the most insanely outrageous images and stories from the most blatantly racist area of the right wing but these idiots do reflect a significant part of freaked out white Amerikkka.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 24, 2012 at 11:17 am

It's very rare that Wonkette has to go beyond the U.S. House of Representatives to find this sort of drivel. (Or state legislatures, if you're really digging for the nasty stuff.) I'm guessing this was sent in as a "tip" by an overheated Wonker.

An_Outhouse July 24, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I think these are softballs lobbed to Barb so she can recover her p-ness.

ingloriousbytch July 24, 2012 at 10:59 am

Fox News: "Obama Caught on Camera Having Interracial Threesome in Hospital Room!"

AutomaticPilot July 24, 2012 at 11:01 am

Do NOT read those comments on the WZ site. I think I just got dumber for reading them.

rickmaci July 24, 2012 at 11:14 am

I did not see your warning. I should have known better. Oh jeezuzz I now need to take a scalding hot shower to get the slime and the stench off of me.

just_a_head July 24, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Oh, how I wish I had taken your advice.

JustPixelz July 24, 2012 at 11:01 am

Remember that under Ron Paul's health reform — which was cheered loudly by Republicans at one of the debates — if that young woman did not have insurance, the hospital should have refused to treat her.

BornInATrailer July 24, 2012 at 11:03 am

Just as long as he didn't whistle at her.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Too soon!

mavenmaven July 24, 2012 at 11:04 am

You know, that hug is probably still technically illegal in some states, the Right eager to "take America back" to reinstate miscegenation laws.

miss_grundy July 25, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Isn't Loving v. Virginia, the law of the land??????

Chow Yun Flat July 24, 2012 at 11:04 am

I realize that this is hardly serious political analysis but try to imagine how stiff/horrified Mitt would look in that picture.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:33 pm

I can't. My brain keeps breaking.

miss_grundy July 25, 2012 at 12:46 pm

I can't, because I know he would be afraid of getting "the cooties".

valthemus July 24, 2012 at 11:10 am

If I ever talked about our waterboard-approving, science-hating, pointless war-starting, fiscally irresponsible, anti-intellectual, C-student, Wall Street butt-boy ex-president with as much disrespect as right-wingers fling at our current president, I humbly apologize.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 1:08 pm

I don't. Dumbass *earned* our disrespect. Hell, I still haven't apologized for the shit I said about Nixon.

Naked_Bunny July 24, 2012 at 1:45 pm

You're still on his list, y'know.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I despised Bush for things he had actually done, like the killing of over one million Iraqis, Afghanis, and Pakistanis; the privatization of Walter Reed that allowed serving military to lie in pools of their own piss under mold-covered walls; the refusal to provide those same troops with working body armour; the award of no-bid contracts for military support to KBR, which proceeded to poison those troops with contaminated food and water, and electrocute them with shoddily designed and fabricated buildings; the death of 4,000 Americans and the maiming of 15,000 more in an unnecessary war; the destruction of the economy; the deaths of 3,000 civilians in an avoidable enemy attack; the outsourcing of millions of American jobs. Obama has done some things I am very unhappy about, a lot of things I'm OK with, and a few things that have benefited EVERY FUCKING BODY. There is no comparison between the two. There is no reason for rightwingers to react to the current President this way. They know it as well as we do, and that is why they become more and more unhinged with each word they say.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 24, 2012 at 11:12 am

"Infesting the Bowels of the Internet"

Fixed it for ya, assholes.

fartknocker July 24, 2012 at 11:15 am

Snark off. The comments over at Weasel Zipper are hateful. This photo shows empathy to a person who has suffered from a tragedy. I expect this out of our leaders.

valthemus July 24, 2012 at 11:31 am

I keep trying to convince myself that the people who leave those kinds of comments are just an extremely vocal minority and don't represent mainstream conservatives who are basically good people with some different (I would say objectionable) ideas about how to address local and national issues. Lately, it ain't been workin'.

Millennial Malaise July 24, 2012 at 11:16 am

I'm actually tearing up just looking at that picture. Barack is so freaking personable and attractive and hugable. Ugh. And that girl is more of a hero than any one of Mitten's privileged sons who can only be arsed to "serve" their blood relatives' campaigns. If the election were determined by hugs, it would be a landslide victory for Obama.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:42 pm

If the election were determined by babies, also, too. Crying babies terrify me because I have NEVER been able to get them to stop, and I feel horrible and helpless watching them suffer so. Barack just sprinkles some of that Ol' Black Magic, and man! Those babies totes fucking love him.

ttommyunger July 24, 2012 at 11:25 am

What drives them crazy is the fact they they just know in their dirty little hearts that her other hand is caressing that firm, brown ass lovingly.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I sure hope so. An opportunity like that doesn't come along too often; she should make the most of it.

vtxmcrider July 24, 2012 at 10:23 pm

And they are driven insane with the jealousy they feel.

elburritodeluxe July 24, 2012 at 11:25 am

I'd expected better from you, Weasel Zippers!

MinAgain July 24, 2012 at 11:30 am

The girl on the bed is thinking, "Hug me. I'm the one who got shot, dammit!"

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:43 pm

You know it.

Hell, I'm sitting here thinking something pretty damn similar.

Limeylizzie July 24, 2012 at 11:39 am

I knew that I would regret reading those comments over there, yikes we live among these cunts, but I am on a plane and the man/woman/wonketteer in the seat behind me has been farting since above Pennsylvania and is now kicking the back of my chair. I never sleep on a plane, because MrLimeylizzie swears that I fart really loudly in my sleep and now I am paranoid, of course he also tells me, because I will never do the anal, that he does that to me in my sleep, it's a wonder he ever gets any sleep what with the buggery and the farting.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Lots of buggery and lots of farting.
Coincidence?
I think not.
Mr. Lizzie has only himself to blame.

Naked_Bunny July 24, 2012 at 1:40 pm

The important thing is that you feel rested.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I'm beginning to wonder if I should go over there.

I'm sorry but this comment just has me RAWL.

Jeri 2.0 July 26, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Bwahahaha! It takes a big, big, tiny man to admit that if he can slip it in the back-door and not even wake you up.

Limeylizzie July 24, 2012 at 11:40 am

I love Barry and am terrified that the GOP will steal the election again, talk me down Wonkettes, well not down because, as mentioned I am on Virgin Atlantic Flight 399.

Steverino247 July 24, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Just pretend we're all looking up at your "parts" and smiling at the view.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 1:12 pm

I wonder whether the GOP even *wants* to steal the election. If they won, they'd inherit this train wreck of a country and actually have to do something besides whine about the black guy while he tries to clean up the mess they made. That's why they're running someone that even they don't like.
Anyway, here ya go:
http://vir4l.com/obama-says-chill-i-got-this/

Naked_Bunny July 24, 2012 at 1:44 pm

The Republicans won't really want to win the election until the Democrats have fixed the economy for them. They don't want to admit that Saint Reagan — the last Republican who inherited a poor economy from a Democrat — improved it with lots and lots of deficit spending.

ArthurEther July 24, 2012 at 11:47 am

"Those six thousand rounds of armor-piercing bullets? You didn't make that."

ibwilliamsi July 24, 2012 at 11:51 am

Because W never politicized a national tragedy. DUH!

Naked_Bunny July 24, 2012 at 1:38 pm

W would show up, push the proles aside, give a speech, and leave. All of this human contact stuff was too creepy.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I remember when he flew into Katrina on AF1. He took a portable generator so he could make his speech with the teleprompter and the lights and shit. He brought water for himself and his entourage. When he left, he took the water and generator with him.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 12:49 pm

And I would be the one to hug President Obama so hard, kiss Obama, I'd take Obama's breath away…

An_Outhouse July 24, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Why do weasels need zippers? Do they wear pants?

Steverino247 July 24, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Weasels ripped my flesh.

Naked_Bunny July 24, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Rzzz!

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Two minds with but one thought.

I gotta go listen to some Frank now.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Relevant to nothing whatsoever pronouncement from Mike Huckabee on how this is against something in the bibble in 5…
4…
3…

Naked_Bunny July 24, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Could someone just speed this up, please?

owhatever July 24, 2012 at 2:14 pm

He's visiting a victim of a gun nut and gets a barrel of s*** from the people who like helping gun nuts be gun nuts. Whackjobs. All of them.

Blunderthing July 24, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Jaysus. The comments on that web page make my ass want to chew tobacco.

outragedcitizen July 24, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Good thing this didn't take place down South. The Secret Service would be fighting off a Klan lynch mob.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 2:50 pm

I'm just gonna say here, 'BeccaLou, when you're scouring bowels, you're bound to wind up with some pretty vile shit. That is all.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 2:52 pm

OHGOD I AM SO FUCKING JELUS OF THAT FUCKING WOMAN THAT IS NOT FAIR MR. PRESIDENT, I STAYED BY MY FRIEND'S SIDE WHEN SOME JERK ACCIDENTALLY MADE HER SPILL HER SLUSHEEE WHY DON'T I GET A HUG

The commenter known as MittBorg has suffered an electronic mishap and will return after repairs.

chascates July 24, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Commiegirl posted their retort on Wonkville but here's their hede:
Lefty Cesspool Wonkette Plays The Race Card On Weasel Zippers…
http://weaselzippers.us/2012/07/24/lefty-cesspool

One of the typical comments:
That site is bunch of lunatics, you should see what they wrote about Hillary in 2008, and they went completely off the deep end with sarah palin.
Like I said, race baiting lunatics.
Weren’t the same site who used little Trig Palin as a prop… disgusting people over there. No bounds, no decency, bunch of white liberal racists, everything is about race to them… pretty sad.

smitallica July 24, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Well, at least you know that if he HADN'T gone to Colorado to visit the victims, the wingnuts wouldn't have freaked out and said he didn't care and was ignoring human tragedy and was out of touch and also NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER!!!!!!!

M. Bouffant July 24, 2012 at 7:50 pm
horsedreamer_1 July 25, 2012 at 12:47 am

Mommy Issues.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 July 25, 2012 at 4:23 am

Conservatives really cannot froth into their faux outrage without it being an example of complete batshit hypocrisy. Sure, it's gross when a politician uses a human as a "political prop" but when mama's little doorstop was wheeled out for us as a constant reminder of Lou Sarah's "compassion" he wasn't being used as a political prop or as a shield for when Palin is called a cruel, manipulative super-grifter bitch. Just like the time Bush "spoke" to Iraq soldiers who were told in advance what questions they could ask and what answers Dubya would give. But nope, those weren't examples of using people as political props or anything…not at all.

DahBoner July 25, 2012 at 9:34 am

Real Blak Men don't hug White Wimmenz, they shoot 'em.

This is the best proof to date Obama is WHITE!!!!

prommie July 24, 2012 at 11:15 am

You're not kidding.

FakaktaSouth July 24, 2012 at 11:17 am

Superior in every way.
I have no problem with shorties with the right attitude. It's them ones with something to prove that are insufferable.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Ahahahaha. Just wait till I cut you off at the knees, BotBoy. We'll see who gets the last laugh THEN.

FakaktaSouth July 24, 2012 at 11:16 am

Most assuredly, and look forward to working with you most diligently. (I do thank you for your email – you made my day)

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 11:37 am

I'll bet Peter Dinklage's social life is as busy as George Clooney's!

ibwilliamsi July 24, 2012 at 11:45 am

Horses are better. You don't have to cream the carrots, and no dirty dishes for the maid.

tessiee July 24, 2012 at 12:29 pm

"another FLOTUS who is trying to shove carrots into us"

O_o
Um, Barb… Is there something you want to tell us?

WhatTheHolyHeck July 24, 2012 at 11:51 am

I'd swim in those eyes, and drift away on that voice. Oh yeah.

Chet Kincaid July 24, 2012 at 11:59 am

And your avatar is the expert on that!

Terry July 24, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I don't think anyone could ever describe Chris Christie as gallant.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 2:54 pm

I thought it was the maid's job to, uh, cream the carrots … brb.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Now I'm worried.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Here's the funny thing: that's exactly how I was raised. All the childcare was left to the servants. Once a day, when Mummy and Daddy returned from wherever they were, we were washed and propped up with bows in our hair and shoes on our feet, and expected to recite our poems and play our music and dance our dances for the amusement of our parents. The rest of the time, we were being picked on mercilessly by the servants who really resented having to leave their own kids at home to take care of us.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:07 pm

And they would NEVER do ANYthing that might be misinterpreted as Soshulism, so pass the cheetos and the remote. (fart)

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Them's fightin' words. I'll see you outside.

I'm bringing my stepstool, too.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:16 pm

You have a tall boyfriend?

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 3:18 pm

I love you. But I'm not marrying you any time soon.

Fare la Volpe July 24, 2012 at 3:36 pm

You have the most fascinating past. Was your step mother a singing Austrian nun?

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 24, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Baby, you know you want to be my human shield.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 7:56 pm

No! NOOOO! (Runs away screaming)

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 24, 2012 at 8:13 pm

HUG ME QUICK! THAT GUY OVER THERE LOOKS PSYCHO!
HUG MEEEEEEEEE!

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 8:18 pm

(Runs all the way back to hug the BigDog)

HEY! WAITAMINNIT!

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 24, 2012 at 8:22 pm

False alarm. That was just Ann Coulter shopping for a new jockstrap.

(hugs mittborg anyway)

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Well. In *that* case. (Hugs the BigDog fervently)

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 9:19 pm

My people do not believe in divorce, and my mother was not a good person, so I never had a stepmother.

But you have no idea how exotic you all seem to me.

vtxmcrider July 24, 2012 at 9:50 pm

And yet you are completely at home here, as sick and twisted as the rest of us. So your life has been very successful.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Why, thank you. I feel honoured.

I suspect I could probably pass for an American over the InterToobz, you know, no accent in the written word. But then the cultural references come out and I am lost at sea.

vtxmcrider July 24, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Or only 350-400 lbs.

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