Mike Huckabee Orders You To Stop Criticizing This Anti-Gay Fast Food Chicken Company

  chicken blows i suppose

GO TO CHICK FIL A NOWThe Chick-fil-A company, which produces these salty waffle fries and breaded/fried chickenish sandwiches with two pickles apiece that serve as delicious on-the-go college meals but otherwise just give you hella diabetes, is notoriously owned by a prominent family in the religious social conservative set. Its president last week admitted the company was “guilty as charged” when it comes to supporting marriage as one man, one woman exclusively: “We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives.” Now all of these libtards, from the mayor of Boston to actor Ed Helms to “The Muppets,” have withdrawn their support from Chick-fil-A and intend to participate in boycotts. How glib! This infuriates former/current fat person Mike Huckabee so deeply that he is now calling for the creation of Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, on Facebook.

Via Buzzfeed, here’s Huckabee’s Facebook salvo calling for an “Appreciation Day” of a homophobic fast food company that gives everyone heart attacks and diabetes while making billions of dollars per year. If any corporation ever needed a bold defender in these dark times, it is this fatty chicken company, for its adherence to such “Biblical principles” as gluttony and greed on a mass scale:

I have been incensed at the vitriolic assaults on the Chick Fil-A company because the CEO, Dan Cathy, made comments recently in which he affirmed his view that the Biblical view of marriage should be upheld. The Cathy family, let by Chick Fil-A founder Truett Cathy, are a wonderful Christian family who are committed to operating the company with Biblical principles and whose story is the true American success story. Starting at age 46 Truett Cathy built Chick Fil-A into a $4 billion a year enterprise with over 1600 stores. At 91, he is still active in the company, but his son Dan runs it day to day as CEO. It’s a great American story that is being smeared by vicious hate speech and intolerant bigotry from the left.

The Chick Fil-A company refuses to open on Sundays so that their employees can go to church if they wish. Despite the pressure from malls, airports, and the business world to open on Sundays, they still don’t. They treat customers and employees with respect and dignity.

I ask you to join me in speaking out on Wednesday, August 1 “Chick Fil-A Appreciation Day.” No one is being asked to make signs, speeches, or openly demonstrate. The goal is simple: Let’s affirm a business that operates on Christian principles and whose executives are willing to take a stand for the Godly values we espouse by simply showing up and eating at Chick Fil-A on Wednesday, August 1. Too often, those on the left make corporate statements to show support for same sex marriage, abortion, or profanity, but if Christians affirm traditional values, we’re considered homophobic, fundamentalists, hate-mongers, and intolerant. This effort is not being launched by the Chick Fil-A company and no one from the company or family is involved in proposing or promoting it.

 
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There’s no need for anyone to be angry or engage in a verbal battle. Simply affirm appreciation for a company run by Christian principles by showing up on Wednesday, August 1 or by participating online – tweeting your support or sending a message on Facebook.

PLEASE RSVP IF YOU PLAN ON PARTICIPATING AT A CHICK FIL-A ONLINE.

Again, that was, “Let’s affirm a business that operates on Christian principles and whose executives are willing to take a stand for the Godly values we espouse by simply showing up and eating at Chick Fil-A on Wednesday, August 1.” Now that’s courage.

[Facebook via Buzzfeed]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Hola wonkerados.

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253 comments

    1. WhatTheHeck

      As far as The Chick-fil-A company is concerned, marriage is between one chicken and one cock.

  1. deiXmachinis

    It does take courage to buy chicken sandwiches from those Chick-Fil-A employees. The half that aren't gay are Stepford Wives-esque cheerful.

    Average employee: "It is my PLEASURE to serve you!"
    Average customer: "Mmhmm, just gimme my gosh-danged chicken sandwich, faggot."

    1. Jennyjen798

      True story. My nearest Chick-fil-a is full of the hottest men I have ever seen at ANY fast food joint; or hell just about any retail establishment around here. Every single one of them: hot. young. gay. :(

      1. Crank_Tango

        Is it possible for a homophobic corporation to be actually in the closet? Corporations are people too I hear…

      2. pdiddycornchips

        Next time you go there, explain they are actually funding right wing bigotry. If they still refuse to leave, give them each a firm spanking

  2. mavenmaven

    I would think that Huckabee can single handedly increase their profits by eating two Huckabee meals there.

    1. pdiddycornchips

      "This effort is not being launched by the Chick Fil-A company and no one from the company or family is involved in proposing or promoting it."

      What's interesting is what isn't said here. It doesn't say Mike Huckabee won't personally profit. This douche ain't getting out of bed unless someone is paying him.
      I suspect it's just another in a long line of schemes designed to separate gullible wingnuts from their money.

    1. KeepFnThatOwl

      I have summarized what I think should happen, but it's a little further down in this thread, because you folks are fast… and I had to calm down a little before typing.

      deit: I'm having an identity crisis lately. KFTC, CFAth, etc…

  3. JackDempsey1

    I am going on record as a lover of both gays and breaded chicken sandwiches, and rarely confuse the two.

  4. PuckStopsHere

    Probably not going to be able to make it to the chicken shack there on the First because when I think about Mike Huckabee I'm not hungry anymore.

  5. noodlesalad

    Nothing says American Christianist like fast food and homobashing. Besides, the diabeetus means you get to meet the Lord that much quicker.

  6. boobookitteh

    I'm sure the left's 'vitriolic assaults' are completely different from the vitriolic assaults on Oreo for posting a picture of a fictional cookie.

    Fucking free speech. How does it work?

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      To be fair, the majority of the negative posts were over the fact that the Rainbow Oreo was fictional. I haven't seen so many people proclaiming "I would eat that!" since… err… well, it's been a long time.

  7. Blueb4sinrise

    There’s no need for anyone to be angry or engage in a verbal battle.

    The fuck there isn't you fucking Huck fuck!!

    1. Butch_Wagstaff

      "…or engage in a verbal battle."
      That's hard to do when you're mouth is full of Chick-fil-Shit.

      1. HistoriCat

        Dude – cannibalism related postings two days in a row? I'm beginning to worry about you …

        1. MittBorg

          Blame the partner. He's going to Papua-Niugini on a business trip in a couple months, and, well, let's just say that people in yon parts have oft indulged the occasional hanker for Leg O' Wife, or Husband, as the case might be.

          1. MittBorg

            You ain't kidding, MrFizzy. Last time, he had an enormous TICK hanging off his back, ew. And the time before that, he was relieved of watch, wallet, and wealth by an enterprising individual with a home-made rifle. I worry about shit like that.

      1. Butch_Wagstaff

        This area is lousy with them. But I only know one person who's ever tried their "food". His review was not good.

    1. MaxUdargo

      I have never seen a "Chick-Fil-A." I don't think they have them in California.

      More important, I don't understand Chick-Fil-A. I mean, I understand that it's a pun on "chicken fillet," right? But a pun usually has two parts – right? – the part you're saying and the part that it sounds like you're saying. So I understand the part that it sounds like they're saying ("chick fillet"), but I don't understand the part they're saying ("chicken feel eh?").

      You know what I'm saying? If you say "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt," it makes sense because you're actually saying "denial" but it sounds like you're saying "the Nile" which is a river in Egypt. So there are two things.

      Or "There was a fire at the circus. The heat was in tents." See? Two things: "in tents" and "intense."

      So what's the other thing for "Chick-Fil-A?" Chick fill A (grade?). Chick feel…

      Fucken, there is no other thing! There's no fucking other thing! It's stupid! Chick-Fil-A is stupid! There's no other fucking thing!

      1. LionHeartSoyDog

        "Chick-Fil-A is stupid!"

        Well, 'filet' is French, and therefore foreign and hard to pronounce and Socialist.
        'Fil-A' is Murkan gibberish, and therefore understood by Murkans.

    1. tessiee

      He used to be the "artiste" at the local beauty salon in my home town. A word to the wise, don't let him cut your bangs unless you own a lot of hats.

  8. elviouslyqueer

    but if Christians affirm traditional values, we’re considered homophobic, fundamentalists, hate-mongers, and intolerant.

    That's because most Christian "traditional values" are by definition homophobic, fundamentalist, intolerant, and hateful. The more you know, Mikey.

    1. bikerlaureate

      Bullseye.

      You really illustrated how different "traditional" now is from what Jesus talked about.

    2. MaxNeanderthal

      Er, the logic of that statement is somewhat lacking… so is he saying that fundamentalist, homophobic, hate-mongers are not neccessarily intolerant?

      Old psychoanalysisIs joke: Is Southern Freud Chicken mother fuckin' good?

  9. SoBeach

    Chick-fil-a dude's religion and the people worked up over it on either side threaten to put this country into a boredom coma.

  10. SmutBoffin

    "There’s no need for anyone to be angry or engage in a verbal battle."

    Fuck talking! Let's eat! All policy in this country should be determined by an eat-off. I hope they decide the upcoming Presidential election this way and would like to preemptively congratulate our new President, the Little Caeser's PizzaPizza guy.

    1. tessiee

      Chris Christie not only approves this comment, he's already started deep-frying everything.

  11. Callyson

    Hey, remember those flash mobs that went to Marcus' cure – the – gay clinic and danced? Please please please tell me they'll be making an appearance at one of these events…hee hee hee…

  12. actor212

    Oh, I appreciate Chick-fil-A, Huck.

    I appreciate that they're bigoted homophobic antiChristians who ought to be strung upside down by their fucking giblets until their gullets come flopping out like a shark's stomach expelling a swallowed stop sign and then made to marry their new cellmates, Bruno, Rico, and Stumpy…

  13. Designer_Rants

    Too often, those on the left make corporate statements to show support for same sex marriage, abortion, or profanity, but if Christians affirm traditional values, we’re considered homophobic, fundamentalists, hate-mongers, and intolerant.

    Yeah, that sounds about right.

    1. rickmaci

      Why do these clowns get away with calling their hate mongering "values." The crazy intolerances that make them buzz are not values they are prejudices.

  14. Jus_Wonderin

    Damn, and my Disco Platforms are at the Cobbler. Guess I have to sit this one out.

  15. Billmatic

    Yes Mike I bet a riot at a Chick-Fil-A is just what this country needs.

    Honestly the more I think about it the more appropriate it is.

    1. KeepFnThatOwl

      Not to point out the obvious, but have you driven past one lately? Jesus candy apples, at lunchtime, the place looks like the road to Bonnaroo!

      1. Billmatic

        I'm already boycotting Chick-Fil-A because I don't see how a fried chicken breast and a couple pickles = $7

        1. Biel_ze_Bubba

          That's why you're not a chicken-hucking billionaire.

          Then again, I never saw how coffee with steamed milk = $5, so here I am.

    2. vtxmcrider

      Send in the drag queens, just like at Stonewall. They know how to get the job done.

    3. succalina

      It would be awesome if the gheys would show up at Fuckabee's Let's Have a Stroke Circus and take pics of just how lame/obese this shit is going to be. And bring those rainbow flags, bitches.

  16. TeaNuts

    Cluck, cluck, Huckabee is a Cock, I mean free range Conservative chicken. Eat at KFC, where they guarantee Diabetes.

  17. prommie

    Meanwhile Huckabee's people be boycotting Target over Ellen and Disney and whoever all they hate on that week for not being as hateful as they think God requires everyone to be. Motherfucking fuckers, and now they put that little fucking fish symbol shit, like a hobo sign, in their ads and on their vehicles, to help facilitate their religious discrimination in deciding who to do business with, and its the most un-american shit I ever did behold and I am leaving this fucking country for some place civilized if it gets much worse. I been waiting for the pendulum to start swinging the other way for my whole damn life, I am starting to think the pendulum is broken.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      I whole-heartedly support putting fish on Mike Huckabee approved shit. Makes knowing what to avoid like a giant re-fatted-ass sweaty fucker and his ginormous sons lunging at you so much easier.

        1. Generation[redacted]

          The Darwin fish humping the Jesus fish is my favorite.

          I have a FSM on my car.

    2. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      I hope they're boycotting the wrong store because of Ellen. That would be funny.

    3. BerkeleyBear

      Eh, most of the people with the fish ads aren't really all that Christian. I view it like Putin putting on the crucifix for Bush – they know the rubes are suckers.

      Most hilarious example of this I ran into – jury selection of my first civil trial. One juror, out of the blue, wants to know if the businesses are run by Christians, because if they are it would bother him because Christians shouldn't sue each other. So Christians suing or being sued by anything other than Christians was fine, just so long as it wasn't fish on fish violence. The judge wouldn't answer the question, and kept him on the jury (she was a no-nonsense piece of work). I guess it didn't keep him from voting (the verdict split, as so many civil ones do, in a way that made no one totally happy), but it scared the crap out of me.

      1. prommie

        Most "christians" aren't christian at all, but they definitely are more insular and seige-mentality martyr-complexy and they are circling the wagons and excluding anyone who isn't them, and its ugly and unamerican in a deep way and I despise that shit.

    4. tessiee

      "and now they put that little fucking fish symbol shit, like a hobo sign, in their ads and on their vehicles, to help facilitate their religious discrimination in deciding who to do business with"

      It actually facilitates MY religious discrimination in deciding who to do business with. Some of my friends who I love and respect are people of faith, but the Bible thumping assholes with the fish on their truck/sign/whatever aren't getting any of *this* atheist's money.

  18. Tequila Mockingbird

    Does this mean that Bert & Ernie can finally come out of the closet?

    (And yes, I know they sleep in separate beds – but you can be gay and be celibate, you know. Just ask any of the cast members of Twilight.)

  19. smokefilledroomba

    It always bothered me that In-N-Out has bible verses on their food wrappers, but until they are proven bigots, I will continue to order a #2 protein style, whole grilled onion w/extra cheese, animal fries and Arnold Palmer w/light lemonade until I die.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Bugs me too (cups and fry boxes are not my sources for introspection, generally) but I always took that more as a family quirk (one that a Double-Double animal style makes up for) than something like the heavy handed preaching of Chik-Fil-A (no opening on Sundays, giving away religious themed tracts (okay Veggietales, but still) as kids' prizes, and so on. Carl Karcher of Carl's Jr./Hardee's is another asshole who uses his business as a front for his causes (anti-choice, unintentional irony notwithstanding), and Dave Thomas was sort of a douche on abortion (although as an adopted kid it was personal for him), but at least neither made the business itself about their hangups.

      I had a book about In-n-out, but it was so boring that I really can't tell you if there was any big revelations about the family's right wingery. I just know they've always paid their people well, made a good product and kept prices fairly reasonable.

      1. LettucePrey

        I agree with this wholeheartedly. I got into an argument many years ago with someone who claimed that In-N-Out was "prostheletyzing" by putting Bible verses on its wrappers. I think that is a moronic stretch of the word. You don't even know those verses are there until someone points them out to you. (And Forever 21 and Alaska Airlines do it, too; it's actually a fairly common tactic among big chains.) In & Out hires people of all religious backgrounds (as opposed to Chick Fil-A, who closes its stores on Sundays to force 'em all to church), no one preaches to you at the counter, and the owners don't say anything publicly douchey. So, yeah, In-N-Out has held its head above the homophobic fray as far as I'm concerned.

        1. smokefilledroom-owl

          I just think it's weird and strangely underhanded– but anyway, like I said, I have no issue continuing to be a patron. (Sometimes it seems like the responses don't match the initial post). I didn't say "boycott In-N-Out". Sheesh.

        2. bobbert

          Double-double with onions and a choc shake, thanks. And I've never, even now, looked at the wrapping paper. I assume there are Bible verses on the wrapper because I've read about it. When I get the burger, the only thing that generally registers is "get in ma belly". If bible verses on the wrapper makes them feel good, fuck it.

      2. MittBorg

        We never let the kids eat at any of those places when they were growing up. Three gourmet cooks in a house with two kids = plenty damn good food without having to eat pink slime burgers. It helped that it was at the height of the "mouseburger" scare, when various fast-food places were the scenes of exciting stories about mouse and rat bits in the food.

        1. anniegetyerfun

          To be fair, and I say this as someone who doesn't eat much fast food, In-and-Out is better than most about sourcing their beef. I only have vague memories of reading Fast Food Nation, but I recall the author being more sympathetic toward that group of restaurants because of how seriously they took the freshness of their ingredients.

          Bastards don't know how to make fries, though. You have to command them to cook the fries until well-done, or you get raw potatoes in oil. Well, at least they give you the option to tell you how to cook them.

          1. MittBorg

            (1) Two
            (2) In a previous life
            (3) It was a different type of spud that I had never used before
            (4) Everybody makes mistakes.

            I'm going to ask you not to be mean and rotten to me, OK? I've never been mean and rotten to you. It's not too much to ask. Thanks.

      3. tessiee

        "and Dave Thomas was sort of a douche on abortion (although as an adopted kid it was personal for him), but at least neither made the business itself about their hangups."

        A friend of mine lived in the same town as Dave Thomas, and said that he did a lot of good charity work for food kitchens and what used to be called orphanages. Also, the snooty country club there refused to admit Dave because fast food is for poor people, so Dave *started his own country club*, which I thought was cool as fuck.

    2. Tundra Grifter

      In-N-Out pays its employees a living wage, so right there it's ahead of most national chains.

      It serves quality food at a reasonable price. For example, the milk shakes are actually made out of ice cream and milk.

      If the owners want to print a Bible verse on the wrapper, let 'em go for it. I don't have to read it…

      1. MittBorg

        As long as they pay their workers a fair wage and don't try to kill the customers with their "food products," I really don't give a shit what they print on their wrappers.

        1. Tundra Grifter

          MB: I, too, am much more interested in what's inside the good wrapper than what is printed on it.

    3. actor212

      As far as I know, the verses are all pretty inocuous, dealing mostly with the liberal Jesus. In-n-Out has a pretty liberal employment philosophy and pay above minimum wage.

    4. tessiee

      If nothing else, doesn't it seem a bit disrespectful to put verses from one's sacred text onto a wrapper that's going to get smeared with grease and ketchup?

  20. Maman

    Only business owners are entitled to opinions. We aren't allowed to decide to act on ours with criticism. I didn't realize the Chik-fil-A dude was owed a livelihood or a customer base.

  21. User-of-Scowls

    Do these fucks know that the Saudi's run their OilSlick Fill-A business on Koranic Principles?

    1. kittensdontlie

      The Chick-filet food-like products are what Christie turns to for comfort after the Boss Springsteen spurns his advances. And CC is not a happy eater, he gets belligerent and combative after three or four chicken-like meals. Beware…

  22. SayItWithWookies

    Well — I'm glad to see the fundamentalists are finally taking advantage of the natural alliance between stupidity and fast food. Keep deep-frying that eagle of the apocalypse, motherfuckers.

  23. FakaktaSouth

    "We are all married to our first wives" did not offend a single ONE of these Republican serial marry-ers? Not a one? And is this true? You have to be married to your first wife to be an executive there, AND they hate lesbians? I think I see ANOTHER reason to say fuck this place.

  24. memzilla

    Pride: It’s a great American story…

    Greed: …Truett Cathy built Chick Fil-A into a $4 billion a year enterprise…

    Wrath: I have been incensed at the vitriolic assaults on the Chick Fil-A company…

    Gluttony: …simply [show up and eat] at Chick Fil-A on Wednesday, August 1…

    Sloth: Describes a nation with die-beetus from eating the HFCS-soaked fast-food that Chick Fil-A specializes in.

    Nice going, Mike "Fattier Than Thou" Huckabee. You've invoked Five of the Seven Deadly Sins to defend this "Christian" company.

  25. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    No Chick-fil-A around here and I would like to keep it that way. We don't need "those kind of people" in our neighborhoods.

      1. BoatOfVelociraptors

        Nothing like grabbing some dick's on Queen Anne, or Capitol Hill. You could even experiment in the University District.

      2. glasspusher

        True story: a friend of mines gay female co worker told him: "I only like Dick's when I'm drunk"

  26. DaveJ

    "There’s no need for anyone to be angry or engage in a verbal battle. "

    Hey now, all you gays who might have your precious feelings hurt because Chick-Fil-A believes you do not deserve the basic right of marriage to a loving partner, don't get angry or engage in a verbal battle!

  27. KeepFnThatChicken

    It’s a great American story that is being smeared by vicious hate speech and intolerant bigotry from the left.

    …because good ol' traditional marriage is akin to eating chicken sandwiches.

  28. prommie

    It appears Mike's also been saying that its a lack of Jeebus in the schools that causes theater massacres, which I must admit is a causal connection that is so counterintuitive that It escapes me entirely.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      There is what Mike would think is a lack of Jeebus in my entire life and I have YET to shoot a DAMN PERSON so SHUT UP MIKE.

      1. prommie

        My only regret is that I have but one fist to up this comment with. Well, OK, maybe I have a couple other regrets. But thats the one on my mind right now.

    2. LetUsBray

      I can think of a multiple murder of police officers in a restaurant that was set up by a Bible-humping governor letting a violent felon out of prison. Why didn't your Jeebus-mongering prevent that, Hucklenuts?

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        Wasn't there a mass shooting at an Oakland Bibble school a while back? Plenty of Jeebusy stuff being taught there, but somehow it didn't help.

  29. OneYieldRegular

    Because nothing says "moral virtue" like deep-fried processed meat-product patties.

  30. Chet Kincaid

    Why don't they tie in with the noted fundie cartoonist and call themselves Jack T. Chick-Fil-A? Everybody gets a free comic book tract about why their false religion will send them straight to hell with every chicken sammich!

  31. sbj1964

    I don't understand Christian Fundies.They're Jeebus never married,had 12 boyfriends,like to wash other mens feet.said he really liked Peter.Said he liked to lean on PETER.Said he was not a fisherman,but a Fisher of men?And when he was arrested in the garden late at night a young naked boy was scene to run away? Mark 14:51 why was a young naked boy with him?

      1. sbj1964

        No the bible said he dropped it.As it was just hung about him.Nice try.They were army soldiers not boy buggers.Maybe this is why Catholic priest like the young boys?

        1. LetUsBray

          "They were army soldiers not boy buggers."

          The Romans didn't see any reason one couldn't be both.

          1. sbj1964

            This Jesus is a Greek myth told by Greeks for other Greek's.Sex between older men ,and younger boys was a cultural norm for the Greeks.That's why this part of the story was included.Romans in general frowned on such things.Even made fun of the Greek's for this as people still do today.Although no longer a cultural norm.Example: How do you separate the men from the boys in Greece? With a Crowbar! More than likely first written by a Roman soldier.

    1. vtxmcrider

      Jesus was obsessed with peter. By "leaning on" peter, he meant "sitting down on." (modern translation)

  32. Nostrildamus

    There had been some talk about Huck being tapped for VP, which this move sort of torpedoes. He's clearly desperate to avoid Mitten's distinctive stench of failure.

      1. Nostrildamus

        I'd guess Brylcreme, expired mayonnaise and crusty yellow underwear, but I'm no sommelier.

  33. ph7

    A wonderful Christian family who are committed to operating the company with Biblical principles

    Chik-Fil-A, helping to keep my body a deep fried temple to our Lard Lord Jesus.

  34. CrunchyKnee

    Shee-yit, all Mikey has got to do is load up his fat assed date raper sons for a trip to Chic-fil-a and treat them all to a huge dose of diabeetus sammiches and the company will be solvent for decades.

    1. poorgradstudent

      I really wish I could shove Huckabee into a portal leading to the Roman Empire under Diocletian or Spain at the height of the Inquisition so he can understand what "vicious hate speech and intolerant bigotry" REALLY fucking means.

  35. KeepFnThatOwl

    Its a great American story that is being smeared by vicious hate speech and intolerant bigotry from the left.

    It's another fast food place. Do you hear me, Huck?! It's another goddamn fast food place!!

    Here's one for you: How about a place that's open ONLY on Sunday, and is filled to the brim and flowing over with hate speech? Would that offend you? Huh?!

    If so, burn down every church in America.

    1. ph7

      vicious hate speech and intolerant bigotry from the left.

      Isn't hate speech inherently vicious? Isn't bigotry inherently intolerant?

      Huck is such a drama queen.

  36. pinkocommi

    I would like to remind Mr. Huckabee that Jesus hung out with 12 guys who all wore dresses. You can draw your own conclusions.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Ack! I remember seeing one of the old signs for this place in a wedding/event venue in downtown Seattle. I had totally forgotten about it!

    2. kittensdontlie

      I like their chicken,egg,& cheese bagel when I need a quick rush from cheating death by saturated fat and salt intake. I don't want that whole grain bagel, put it betwen two glazed donuts….now that's a manwich.

    3. tessiee

      At least they have the excuse that it was 1925, which is more than I can say for Chick-Fil-A.

    1. KeepFnThatOwl

      …and I bet not one of 'em ever had an orgasm.

      deit: WAIT, BETTER: "…and I bet the chicken came first!!"

  37. Poindexter718

    Not since Selma have we seen such courage as these Christians rising up to fight off the shackles of intolerance and bigotry.
    God speed you thru the drive in window, brave souls. Make sure and ask for extra ketchup.

      1. tessiee

        I don't know what denomination "Mr. Cathy" is, but I bet he'd be horrified to know you compared him, however indirectly, with Catholics.
        Hee hee hee.

  38. Estproph

    "They treat customers and employees with respect and dignity."

    Until they find out they are gay…

  39. Chet Kincaid

    How illiterate is their customer base that they have to spell their main menu item phonetically? Should McDonald's change their name to Mc-Cow-Pat-Tee®? Red Lobster C-Food Rest-Toe-Rant™?

  40. iburl

    "Godly values" at Chick-Fil-A.

    The Godliness of Caffeine, High Fructose Corn Syrup and mechanically separated non-Kosher chicken is truly something to be worshipped.

    1. Jennyjen798

      But…but…but… its so unique and americany! Where else can you get chicken that's been battered in powdered sugar and then fried in peanut oil? Hey don't forget to read the fine print about that peanut oil too. If you have allergens and you die, it's totally your fault!

  41. KeepFnThatOwl

    YOu know what this really means? It means Mike Huckabee has gay-friendly friends on Facebook.

  42. Dashboard Buddha

    Weeee…what fun!

    "I have been incensed at the vitriolic assaults at my Jesus given rights to ingest high fructose corn syrup and deep fried fat as fast and as often as I can. If CFA were open on Sunday, I would eat then as well, but I understand CFA's desire to allow me a break from my usual gluttony. My biggest sadness is that I am forced to seek out my high fructose corn syrup and deep fried fat from other, less godly restaurants on the lord's day."

  43. poorgradstudent

    I'm a gay man who grew up in rural central Virginia right in the shadow of the Jerry Falwell regime and, while I was luckier than a lot of people in just the fact that I never encountered violence, I had to cope with seeing rednecks wearing t-shirts with slogans like "Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks" and more than once being put on the blacklist…I mean, "prayer list" of the high school Christian group (which was allowed under the sort of legal chicanery so many far-right advocacy groups specialize in now) for "mysterious" reasons. Even though I was more or less out for some odd reason it wasn't until my sophomore year of college that I even thought about seriously dating.

    So, all that said, you can imagine how warm my heart feels to see Huckabee call criticism of a CEO's political stance "vicious hate speech and intolerant bigotry". In fact, it's as warm as the heart of someone suffering cardiac arrest from 30 years of a Chick-fill-a diet.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      DB, I took it down as mine was a duplicate. I love how professionally done it is.

      1. Dashboard Buddha

        Well…I posted it to my FB page. If that doesn't get me of the list of some godbotherers I know, nothing will.

  44. mookwrthwilson

    I would go and take a dump in the dining room, but then the clientele might confuse the smell for their living rooms…

  45. sati_demise

    If treating employees with "dignity and respect" includes wages that cause them to use social services like food stamps, medicaid, the emergency room….etc

    And this same dignity denies them health insurance so they can't see the doctor when they get sick, who could possibly be against that?

    Only the taxpayers who subsidize these low paid employees, and who give a shit about them?

  46. chascates

    Wow, the Founders would feel totally at home now. By Founders I actually meant the people who burned witches in Salem.

  47. KeepFnThatOwl

    On August 1st, there should be a Gandhi-style eat-in at this place. But by gay-friendly people, wearing gay-friendly colors, and sitting in the gay-hating seats. No words, no signs, no logos. Just rainbow shirts.

    He wants to support a gay-hating company? Fine. We should react in love and buy their products on the very same day as his Hate-In™, but not budge an inch on our support for the people he loathes.

  48. Come here a minute

    No worries about "digging your grave with a knife and fork" at Chick-Fil-A — just use your grease-covered fingers to shove it in your piehole, like the lord intended!

  49. Tundra Grifter

    "…we are married to our first wives."

    Who said that – the founder of this chicken outfit or (r)Money's grandparents?

  50. sati_demise

    Chick-Fil-A is going to hell for the abuse of Gods creation- the bulging lagoons of pfeisteria and MRSA contaminated manure, the abuse of animals, the contamination and degradation of the environment, yep, they are all going straight to hell. God told me so.

  51. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Looking at the book cover. Was Hukabee too cheap to buy suits that fit after not being a fatass anymore?

  52. Mittens Howell, III

    Huckabee, you would totally inhale a bucket of cocks and balls if they were deep fried, you dumb fundamentalist fuck.

  53. Guppy

    What's going on here?

    I mean, it's not like all these business partners suddenly woke up yesterday and discovered that Chick-Fil-A was suddenly no longer run by gay atheist Muslims. Was there not enough VETTENING before all these job creators sat down and signed the fucking contracts? And I'm pretty damned sure that I can still buy Muppets paraphernalia from "Minnesota Forward" participants Target and Best Buy.

    Why Chick-Fil-A, and why now?

  54. fawkedifiknow

    The only time I ever use the word "godly" is like this: "Jeez, Huckabee, you're un-godly fat."

      1. Limeylizzie

        He is great, I am flying to his waiting arms tomorrow, won't feel really good until I see him in the flesh, but he sounds great on the phone.His twin daughters have been taking care of him.

  55. Rotundo_

    The right to free speech allows folks like the Chick-fil-thiest people to stand up and loudly proclaim their disapproval of same sex relationships and marriage. But one of the hazards of free speech has always been pissing off people who might otherwise be inclined to associate with you or your organization. I look at the bumperstickers on service trucks and take note of the politics and put it into my internal rolodex under asshole if they seem to be that way. I have spent my money in large part in places that have the wisdom to STFU when it comes to personal beliefs and just treat people with respect. So there are a shitload of electrical contractors and home improvement folks listed under "asshole" in my book and missing out on my money. It isn't much, but it won't be theirs.

    1. tessiee

      "one of the hazards of free speech has always been pissing off people who might otherwise be inclined to associate with you or your organization."

      And yet, that never seems to occur to them. They like to talk about "standing up for their beliefs", but get all pissy if they ever actually have to do it. They tend not to do so well when they venture outside of the echo chamber. It would almost make me think that they're ot-nay oo-tay ight-bray, if you know what I mean.

  56. anniegetyerfun

    Were there any glaring examples of hate speech from the left toward Chick-Fil-A regarding this issue? I mean, other than from us here at Wonkette, where we love to hate. I have a feeling that Huckabee's hand-wringing was probably over whatever George Takei had to say on Facebook about Chick-Fil-A.

  57. Steverino247

    Another manufactured crisis. CFA's sales were likely down a bit so they went to the fainting couch, whipped up the faithful with how brutally mean the bad gays are and will now rake in the cash and pay as low a tax rate as they can manage. Fuck 'em.

  58. valthemus

    Hey, Huckster, just telling people about Cathy's fucking stupid remarks in his own fucking stupid words isn't exactly a "vitriolic assault." Me calling him fucking stupid, however, does come close.

  59. Dashboard Buddha

    Damn…they're pulling down my comments almost before I can finish them. I don't understand, I'm praising them with bible verse, bless their hearts.

  60. Pithaughn

    well i can tell you that they don't treat all their customers with respect. I had on my favorite button "Dip me in Honey and throw me to the Lesbians" and the kid that was supposed to wait on me put out his smile and looked me over like I was some kind of smelly garbage. I honestly did not know about this running your store "biblically" thing they are so proud of, just happened to have that button because I was on my way to a lesbians 50th b day party and thought it would be a hoot ( it was! ). I'm sweet guy and would have taken the button off if I thought a kid working for low wages in deep fry fast food joint would give a shit. I did not care for their menu even before that day and have not been back since.

  61. pdiddycornchips

    As a counter-protest I ask each and every one of you to purchase a devil dog and the latest edition of Out.

  62. upthruster

    “Let’s affirm a business that operates on Christian principles and whose executives are willing to take a stand for the Godly values we espouse by simply showing up and eating at Chick Fil-A on Wednesday, August 1.”

    Yeah, perfect opportunity to voice(make that chew) your stance against the sins of LUST and to promote the good christian principles like GLUTTONY of genetically modified chickens fried up nice and HELL CRISPY for profit… the other good christian principle of GREED.

    By the way, anyone check to see if Huckabee has stock or any financial ties to Chick-Fil'A?

  63. ttommyunger

    White bread, bland, cheap, unwholesome, greasy and tasteless; yup, that's Huckabee all right.

  64. glamourdammerung

    There’s no need for anyone to be angry or engage in a verbal battle.

    Then shut up.

    Seriously. Just stop opening your mouth and letting stupidity out, Huckabee.

  65. glamourdammerung

    A wonderful Christian family who are committed to operating the company with Biblical principles.

    They ban menstruating women from the premises and have slaves?

  66. tessiee

    OK, first of all, Huckleberry needs to shut the fuck up. Nobody was interested in anything he had to say when he was actually running for office; how much do we care now?

    Second of all, Bible thumping Christopaths need to shut the fuck up. When it's socially acceptable for atheists to ask Christians why they cling to childish delusions, then the Christopaths can spout their religious beliefs.

    Third of all, Huckleberry and "Mr. Cathy" [tee hee] are either as dumb as a stone boat, or completely dishonest, or both. Nobody, but nobody, gives two shits about their private lives, whether they worship a golden idol, whether they're married to the splintery broomstick up their asses, or anything else they're whining about. People are boycotting Grease-Fil-A because it's run by homophobes. That's how the wonderful free market works in practice, ya crybabies.

  67. tessiee

    "Well, what about MY rights to make everybody believe what I do? What about that, huh? Huh?"

  68. DahBoner

    Never dig your grave with a knife and fork.

    Why not speed things up with a spork like they give ya @ KFC???

  69. billy_reuben

    Is there truth to the stories that Chick-fil-A sandwich patties are primarily made of horse tumors? It would be irresponsible NOT to speculate.

  70. Rhino v2.0

    "hate speech and intolerant bigotry" Those words. They don't mean what you think they mean, Huck.

  71. Rorgg

    Huck will not ruin my birfday by making me eat chicken sammiches with pickles. NO! I refuse!

  72. chascates

    That wonderful site has a excellent selection of revisionism! I must forward it to the Texas Board of Education at once!

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