black helicopters also too

Oklahoma ABC Affiliate Running Excellent NRA-Produced Journalism About UN Coming For Your Guns

wayne lapierreWonkette Okie operative “Commie Mom” reports that only two days after the Aurora, Colorado, massacre, Oklahoma City ABC affiliate KOCO was doing Journalism and the Universe the mitzvah of running slickly produced NRA programming explaining how Barack Obama and the UN are coming for your guns. Good job, KOCO! Busy making journalism a better place, so Aaron Sorkin doesn’t have to!

Commie Mom reports that she spent the rest of her Sunday writing a sternly worded letter to ABC, and crying. [Contact KOCO]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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159 comments

    1. actor212

      That's not true. For instance, I know for a fact that the Belarusan delegate made a wrong turn in the Heights trying to score some Peruvian flake and ended up in Fort Lee.

      Why he simply didn't go to the Peruvian envoy is beyond me…

  1. Come here a minute

    Commie Mom, you may not be aware of the proper salutation for this type of correspondence. Your letter should commence with "Dear Shit Fer Brains" followed by a colon.

    1. qwerty42

      Would all caps or with weird capitalization help? Or is that just a requirement for right-wing nutcases?

      1. tessiee

        Lots of exclamation points tell the reader that what you have to say is IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!

    1. anniegetyerfun

      I have to confess that I don't recall ever seeing this before, but I can't figure out how that could be.

      ETA: Alzheimer's, maybe?

      1. HistoriCat

        Baby brain – that kid is draining you of your mental faculties. Happened to my wife too.

    2. CindynEncinitas

      I have a cousin in Texas who looks disturbingly similar, except I doubt he plays guitar.

    3. Butch_Wagstaff

      I have it saved. I use it for the moments when I think I may have seen enough porn.

  2. Hammiepants

    Well, that's extra-revolting in light of current events. And I'm not just talking about whatever the hell that is in that picture. I think it may be a partially shaved Wookie that's greatly in need of orthodontia and liposuction.

    1. tessiee

      That's not even the most disturbing element in the picture.
      Why is he reclining on what appears to be a child's bed? Dear God, why?

  3. sbj1964

    Damn,I knew that picture would come back to haunt me! Removing pics from the Net is like trying to get pee out of the POOL.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Well, at least the walls and floors of your domicile are clean, and you are certainly well organized.

  4. BaldarTFlagass

    Well, there's a quarter of a billion guns out there, so if Obama decided to take them all away, there'd be plenty of openings in the gun-taker-away career field, and we'd probably have full employment at least.

    1. OneDollarJuana

      If there was a dick to shoot off. I'm convinced that lack of dick-ness leads to love of gun-ness.

  5. ShreditorsDesk

    Guitars, guns and guts, I always say. That guy in that picture is either dead or in jail by now, I'll bet.

  6. IncenseDebate

    Something with the name KOCO should be either a chimp, a stripper, or a hot sweet comforting beverage.

      1. tessiee

        Gotta be. If that ugmo was a stripper, he'd starve to death, and we can clearly see that's not the case.

  7. Oblios_Cap

    I never realized just how defenseless the residents of Knifecrime Island are until I saw that mockumentary! Poor ole Losbsterbacks.

  8. dennis1943

    Similar aired last week Lansing Michigan……i wrote it off as proximity to Ted Nugent….

    1. tessiee

      I don't think brain bleach is gonna do the trick; this calls for spork-induced lobotomies.

    1. FNMA

      Can't ID the Strat, but the LP looks like some kind of cheap Chinese knock-off.
      OH MY GOD! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT IN THE PHOTO WITH THE GUITARS?

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        What in God's name is the thing that looks like a triple-kielbasa, in front of the left-most gun?

    2. northernbassist

      The LP is definitely a 'Guitar Hero/RockBand' controller–Strat looks like one, too. Too bad his penis substitutes aren't as worthless and ineffective.

      1. FlownOver

        True dat. Whenever you see a guitar that seems to have a single coil pickup mounted parallel to the strings, and multicolored neck inlays, you needn't look around for Herb Ellis.

  9. barto

    Well, as a nation we may draw the line after the first public bazooka-ing incident. Maybe. Don't hold your breath. God, we suck…

  10. gullywompr

    Obama has now given two national addresses in the immediate aftermath of mass murders with guns. Third time's a charm?

  11. Schmegeg

    This just in, UN Security Council passes resolution to totally ignore Oklahoma forever.

  12. Chet Kincaid

    Wait, what? Under what circumstances did they run this NRA video? Was it paid programming? Was it during a news program, and passed off as news? I prefer understanding what I'm supposed to be offended about before being sent off to swarm.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      I'm guessing paid programming, amongst the Body by Jake and whatnot they sell on Saturday afternoons on local affiliates. I sure miss Saturday afternoon Japanese monster movies and Hong Kong kung fu flicks.

  13. Trannysurprise

    Oddly, to me anyways, this guy looks like a Klingon that should be saying "Scissor me baby!"

  14. UnholyMoses

    The fact that picture is posted all over the Internet doesn't bother me.

    The fact it was ever taken is what bothers me.

    1. Callyson

      The fact that the man *willingly* posed for that shot, in that pose, wearing that hammock, is truly frightening…

  15. Dildeaux

    Conspiracy theories have been mainstreamed. Its fun for major networks to trade in CT. Helps their viewership numbers.

  16. FakaktaSouth

    I would LITERALLY (yes, literally) rather that guy shoot me in the hoohah than come anywhere near me with what is in those black panties.

    1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      I really hope you never find yourself in a situation where those are your only options. For your hoohah's sake.

  17. BaldarTFlagass

    I like how the guy thought outside the box and went with the full-body tattoo of a welcome mat. Much more imaginative than a Harley logo.

    1. va_real

      So much for the theory that "people will always be tempted to wipe their feet on anything with 'welcome' written on it."

  18. elviouslyqueer

    I would like to invite Wayne LaPierre and his ilk to shove a bazooka up their collective asses, because that's probably the only bang they're going to get during their lifetime.

  19. WhatTheHeck

    If Neilist were here, he would identify every gun in that pic.
    Me, I’m afraid to look too long.

    1. weejee

      With these olde eyes the photo is too small to be sure, but that looks like one of them there Messican Strats leanin' against the wall. Loyal 'Murican, pshaw.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      Holy. God. I am now in love. Or want her for my body guard actually. She ain't playing, not a bit.

  20. coolhandnuke

    If a more appropriate pic of a lug sporting a bullet–a bald mullet–exists, I have yet to see it.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Whereas that guy could have the most bad-ass combover on the planet, if he wanted to.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      OH HELL NO, none of this guy for our closet-gymnastics-fireworks-porno EVER – we are WAY too classy for that.

  21. Jus_Wonderin

    Honestly, that photo looks like a compilation of every item for sale and personal ad I have ever seen on CraigsList.

  22. Naked_Bunny

    I was going to tell you to stop running photos of me, but then I realized I'm neither balding nor dressed so modestly.

  23. SayItWithWookies

    Wayne LaPierre — proof that you can get lead poisoning from a poorly-ventilated gun range, especially if you spend six hours a day there.

  24. pdiddycornchips

    If good people don't have guns, then only criminals will have guns. If 2000 of us take away five guns each and give them to the criminals in our towns and cities, we'll fix the economy and solve this divisive gun thing once and for all.

  25. P__Drizzle

    Wow, Russell Brand really let himself go. I assume he retired to a bunker in the Midwest.

    /not that I've seen any of his movies

  26. Allmighty_Manos

    Look if the UN is really planning on taking our guns, can they please get their ass in gear and get it over with? I've been hearing about this for 30 plus years, and yet dumb Americans are still shooting up public places with high-powered assault weapons.

    1. Naked_Bunny

      Unfortunately, the UN isn't a tenth as effective at doing anything as the conspirators imagine they are.

  27. BlueStateLibel

    Wonkette, what have your loyal readers ever done to you to make you post that photo?! (soft weeping).

    1. tessiee

      No, it's part of the bedframe of the CHILD'S BED in the picture.
      [high pitched shrieking a la the shower scene in "Psycho"]

  28. Baba_NinjaCat12

    What you and I have been watching was an NRA produced comedy show scaring teabaggers, hillbillies and gun fetishist in buying their membership in order to get made in China cheapo trinket bag and a cracker-jack knife that wouldn't last a 100 years. I laughed so hard, I had to get up and get a drink of water. It's better to throw money in a fire-pit than waste your hard earn dollars for these jokers.

  29. Naked_Bunny

    Between the guitars and his body, I wonder why LaPierre thinks he even needs guns to frighten people away.

  30. HistoriCat

    That image is truly disturbing. I realize this is a shameful part of American history which we should never forget but that picture is just too much.

  31. Boojum

    Wait. Somebody made Commie Mom cry?

    WHERE'S MY SURVEYOR'S MARK!!! I'm going to give somebody a vote right where it counts!

  32. JustPixelz

    We know the First Amendment doesn't give the right to shout "Fire" in a crowded theatre. But the NBA believes the Second Amendment gives the right to fire in a crowded theatre. Why? Because they lobby for "stand your ground" laws, which don't legalize gun possession, they legalize killing. (As part of God's Plan, I'm told.)

    Supposedly the Bill of Rights is not a suicide pact. But the Second Amendment is. Activist judges have nullified the "well regulated" clause, leaving only the "right to bear arms". Anyone can get guns. Sadly and inevitably, they turn them on us. It's suicide.

  33. fawkedifiknow

    Did you pay the NRA for that centerfold from their magazine, "Shooting Illustrated"?

  34. Jukesgrrl

    CORRECTION: This isn't only on television in Oklahoma. There's a 30-minute gun porn fantasy produced by the NRA running on TruTV (formerly CourtTV) almost daily. Yay Basic Cable!! Coast-to-coast fear and loathing. We can all play!

    TruTV is owned by the same swell company that owns CNN and Headline News. Infomercials always run on that station preceded by an announcement that "the following program only reflects the views of its producer and is not the work of TruTV." All except for the Secret War on Guns.

    It begins right after the very watchable Forensic Files, so viewers will think it's just another TruTV entertainment offering. One can only assume that this work of investigative reporting reflects the views of Wolf Blitzer, Anderson Cooper, Nancy Grace, and every other star in the heaven created by Ted Turner (who now disavows it, as they used to say on Mission Impossible).

    D'ya think it ever occurred to the Blonde Bloodhound that the criminals stealing little girls might be getting ideas from THIS VERY TV PROGRAM?? I'd suggest that Nancy line up her Platoon of Paranoid Couch Potatoes to fight this thing, but they're probably armed to the teeth themselves. Joran Van Der Sloot might be breakin' out of prison any day now, PEOPLE!!!!

  35. fishwharf

    This guy should get together with the old man with the keyboard and the catchy Mitt Romney theme song. They could jam and maybe take their show on the road, perhaps to Tampa and the RNC National Convention next month.

      1. Barb_

        Could you imagine this guy trying to hang his bathrobe? It would take a chunk out of the wall of the closet.

          1. Barb_

            TESSIE! I know that I wouldn't want to be the one who laundered that robe.

            The reference was to Rebecca, who got a new closet and when she hung her robe she heard a little snap, crackle, pop this weekend.

      1. Barb_

        Oh my, CountryClub!
        I bet this put on boxer shorts and once he gets them up they instantly turn into the skimpiest of thongs.

  36. DahBoner

    Y'all can't fool me!

    That looks like Jack Black, the famous performance artiste Tenacious "D", who's playing the ironic role of a NRA-endorsed ner'do'well and lookey here!

    Looks like he just shoved an AK-47 up Mitt Romney's glory hole until he said this:

    Romney: New gun laws aren't necessary after Aurora

  37. ChessieNefercat

    Well. I'm grossed out. On the other hand, seldom have I seen more evidence that for some (icky) people firearms possession = (wishful thinking) penis size.

    Ick. You are still not a man.

  38. BoroPrimorac

    The right wouldn't be running these ads if the lunatics who actually believe this sort of shit were enthusiastic about their candidate. .

  39. BZ1

    The site has the scary message: "This message must be heard and this administration must be stopped. We're in the fight of a lifetime and every gun owner needs to join me (Wayne) in going ALL IN (for freedom!)." Freedom to purchase thousands of rounds of ammo, buy assault hunting rifles??

  40. ttommyunger

    These types always choose dark colored panties so that the skid marks won't be so visible. Smellable? Oh yeah, from across the room.

  41. bobbert

    While several commenters obviously read it, I have to explicitly salute the totally wonderful alt-text.

    (Since I now live in the red area code part of California, I periodically get solicitation phone calls from the NRA. Sometimes, they play me a recording from Wayne LaPierre. Dude sounds like Mickey Mouse.)

Comments are closed.