SHOOTOUT AT THE NOT-OK CORRAL  10:20 am July 23, 2012

Dark Knight Shooting Victims Practically Shot Themselves, Says Prominent Arizona Idiot

by Rich Abdill

super cool guyYou could say a lot of things about the words of former Arizona state senator Russell Pearce, the lead sponsor of SB 1070, the ol’ “get ridda the browns” law. Most of them have something to do with racism. None of them resemble “consoling” or “reasonable.”

So when he issued a statement about the Dark Knight shooting in Aurora, he did not disappoint: Did you know, for example, that the people to blame for the shooting are the people who got shot?

“Had someone been prepared and armed they could have stopped this ‘bad’ man from most of this tragedy,” he wrote. “All that was needed is one Courages/Brave man prepared mentally or otherwise to stop this it could have been done.”

Translation: People just LET THEMSELVES get shot? What a bunch of PANSIES! Also, I am drunk.

Pearce wrote this on his Facebook page over the weekend — being a Great and Upstanding American who Never Backs Down and whatnot, he has since deleted it. Don’t worry though, your Wonkette didst take a screenshot.

“He was two and three feet away from folks, I understand he had to stop and reload. Where were the men of flight 93???? Someone should have stopped this man,” he typed, presumably without the aid of opposable thumbs. Are you listening, battered, traumatized citizens of Aurora? Stop not being heroes! And when you don’t take your Glock to the movie theater, people with Glocks kill people in the movie theater. The responsible thing to do, obviously, would have been to shoot around in a dark, panicked theater at a guy wearing body armor. You know, like 9/11.

When people started pointing out that maybe this response was nothing more than an exploitative attempt to further a ridiculous gun-control argument at a time when people were trying to scab over bullet wounds, Pearce followed up with a second post (also deleted) that, rather than saying “hey, sorry, let’s just mourn for like FIVE SECONDS before talking politics,” just called the Arizona Republic stupid.

Here’s the picture of that first post. Note his Facebook name still includes “Senator,” despite his rather notable position as the first Arizona state senator ever voted out of office. That was more than eight months ago.

 
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{ 263 comments }

chascates July 23, 2012 at 10:22 am

Guns are people too, my friend. Dangerous people.

oldedinvn July 23, 2012 at 10:29 am

Stupid & crazy are equal my friend.

Glad that I do not live in craztland.

actor212 July 23, 2012 at 10:29 am

I think you mean "dangers people," you know, like the "courages" ones he dreams of

Or maybe he dreams of cougars. Who knowseous?

YasserArraFeck July 23, 2012 at 10:42 am

Shit – I think guns should be allowed to vote

Fraudulently_Joe July 23, 2012 at 10:53 am

Guns don't kill people, corporations kill people.

glasspusher July 23, 2012 at 11:12 am

Fingernails don't scratch, people scratch.

kathop53 July 24, 2012 at 7:04 pm

and corporations are their handlers…just ask clarence

prommie July 23, 2012 at 10:22 am

This makes me exceptionally stabby.

FakaktaSouth July 23, 2012 at 10:29 am

It makes me think I too am drunk (I happen not to be for some stupid reason) because not only is this complete nonsense, but is that facebook post really blurry to everyone or is that just me? It's sort of symbolically hard to read, like the logic.

actor212 July 23, 2012 at 10:34 am

Click it. It becomes clearer.

Visually, I mean. Ideologically, it's still mud

oldedinvn July 23, 2012 at 10:36 am

Kinda good Fakata. you aint not drunk if you know what the fuck symbollikally meanses.

prommie July 23, 2012 at 10:44 am

You too? I am cone stold sober, sober as a deacon, even, right now.

Fraudulently_Joe July 23, 2012 at 10:42 am

If you're feeling exceptionally stabby, that's pretty much the same as having an AR15 Assault rifle and full body armor! After all, if this guy didn't have a gun, he could have just as easily killed 20 people and injured 71 with a kitchen knife!

sewollef July 23, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Maybe more, since you have to reload less.

Fraudulently_Joe July 23, 2012 at 12:58 pm

AND KNIVES NEVER JAM!!

HE COULD HAVE KEPT KILLING FOREVER!

actor212 July 23, 2012 at 10:51 am

It makes me strangle-y.

prommie July 23, 2012 at 11:01 am

Louisville-sluggery. Bear Jewy.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 11:54 am

"This makes me exceptionally stabby."

If only someone were exceptionally shooty, we'd all be safe, right?

lulzmonger July 23, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Less stabby than stompy here … SIGH … but then de gustibus non est disputandum, or some such cack.

Dr_Zoidberg July 23, 2012 at 10:24 am

Bring on the apocalypse.

No, seriously.

prommie July 23, 2012 at 10:40 am

Some day a real rain is gonna come and wash this scum from the streets.

Dr_Zoidberg July 23, 2012 at 11:32 am

When, though? No snark, I just kinda want to know when. It seems that nothing ever changes, and the bad people, the idiots, the racists, the hate-filled, spread further and further every day, and nothing changes.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 11:55 pm

I can't remember where I left it.

Have YOU seen my apocalypse anywhere?

Chet Kincaid July 23, 2012 at 10:24 am

I can't read the screenshot.

Swampgas_Man July 23, 2012 at 10:33 am

It's blurry from tears. Of rage.

actor212 July 23, 2012 at 10:34 am

Click on it

prommie July 23, 2012 at 10:38 am

It says "Everyone should have a gun so everyone can shoot everyone before everyone shoots someone."

weejee July 23, 2012 at 10:44 am

M79s with canister rounds for everyone. That way all but one in the theater would have been killed.

prommie July 23, 2012 at 10:47 am

Only the Galts survive! Nature red in tooth and claw, thats the meaning of civilization, right?

You know, this ain't a fight between liberals and conservatives, this isn't a fight between science and superstition, between religion and secularism.

This country is split by a fight between civilization and barbarism. These people are barbarians, intent on destroying civilization, they simply hate civilization itself and they are itching to sack Rome like the Vandals did.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 11:56 pm

*bulb lights up over head*

BaldarTFlagass July 23, 2012 at 10:44 am

You're not missing much.

commiegirl99 July 23, 2012 at 11:50 am

I FIXED IT FOr YOU.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 11:57 am

It's blurry from stupidity and mean-spiritedness.

freakishlywrong July 23, 2012 at 10:24 am

I took the weekend off. From EveryThing. Anything I should know about?

Fraudulently_Joe July 23, 2012 at 10:36 am

Not really.

oldedinvn July 23, 2012 at 10:37 am

Nah Same shit, different day.

weejee July 23, 2012 at 10:45 am

Ms took the series from Tampa Bay.

UW8316154 July 23, 2012 at 12:35 pm

That's something right there!

thatsitfortheother1 July 23, 2012 at 10:48 am

Colorado is officially fly-over country.

AbandonHope July 23, 2012 at 10:50 am

As far as I can tell some wacko in Colorado shot up Penn State which resulted in his being banned from Wonkette, but I may have some of the details wrong.

prommie July 23, 2012 at 11:02 am

Sounds like a chemical vacation. I like those.

freakishlywrong July 23, 2012 at 10:25 am

Where were the men of flight 93????
Dead. Idiot.

actor212 July 23, 2012 at 10:31 am

To be precise, dead either way, but you give it a try and pray for a miracle. In the theatre, the people ducked behind seats lived.

End of story. It's not like the entire theatre was about to crash into another theatre full of innocent people.

thatsitfortheother1 July 23, 2012 at 10:40 am

Better than an armed citizenry, somebody killing the lights/projector might have actually done some good.

sullivanst July 23, 2012 at 10:49 am

Not sure someone who doesn't care who they kill would really be deterred much by darkness, just keep firing randomly.

actor212 July 23, 2012 at 10:54 am

He seems to have killed people in line of sight, mostly. That's not to say he wouldn't have simply fired blindly, plus turning the lights off would have prevented people who could exit from making it out.

GhostBuggy July 23, 2012 at 10:49 am

Yeah, I wondered about that too. I have no idea how theaters work nowadays, but I sort of assumed someone was always up in the booth. Maybe not, or maybe if there was, he had no idea what was happening any more than anyone else not actually in the thick of it.

sullivanst July 23, 2012 at 10:59 am

In the era of digital projection, the booth is empty most of the time – the projectionist will be running many screens, since they don't need to change reels and therefore don't need to watch for the blips to tell them to do so.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 11:58 am

"It's not like the entire theatre was about to crash into another theatre full of innocent people."

NOW who's being naive??

Gratuitous World July 23, 2012 at 10:25 am

i find it amazing that so many people who could've taken out a semi-auto armed man with full armor in a dark and tear gas filled theater spend so much time posting their vigilante fetish told-ya-so's on-line instead of training for combat 24-7.

oldedinvn July 23, 2012 at 10:40 am

I gots my gunses. Cunt have hapenrded if I were ther. 24/7 we is are on alert.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 23, 2012 at 11:25 am

There are people who think that way, and there are people trained for combat.
There is no overlap between the two sets.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:08 pm

I don't claim to be any kind of expert about combat, military strategy, etc.; but my best guess is that that's because people who are familiar with *actual* combat know what it's really like and don't cling to an adolescent fantasy of it. At Pat Parisi said in "The Sopranos", "It won't be cinematic".

sewollef July 23, 2012 at 1:16 pm

In June or July 1973, as a kid, I was in Chile on an exchange deal for my newspaper. There was an attempted military coup while I was there. This was a godsend to a trainee photo-journalist like me.

My Chilean journalist friends and I piled into a VW bus and drove from Valparaiso to Santiago. Unfortunately, we got caught up close to an armed attack on La Moneda, the Presidential palace.

Cowering in doorways, all your senses on full alert, you are shitting yourself from the gunfire all around, adrenalin from total fear is coursing through your veins. The smell of cordite and that rattling sound of tanks driving through the streets without knowing whether they're behind or in front of you, the noise, the smells, people running in all directions. It is terrifying.

And no, I don't want to experience it ever again and no, reacting with any sense of composure is completely out of the question. You are in fear for your life, not knowing where the bullets are coming from.

It was at that moment I knew I didn't want to become a war photographer… the so-called romance of it was gone.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:01 am

There's nothing like the consciousness of possible imminent death to create a laser-like focus on exactly what is and what is not important in life. Nothing.

sewollef July 25, 2012 at 9:15 am

Yeh, it was scary alright. To add to that brown trouser moment, the Allende authorities shut down all airport traffic — nothing was coming in or leaving — this included the airport I was due to fly out from 2 days later. I was stuck for an extra week.

The attempted coup failed, but obviously this was only a 'dry run' for the real coup that succeeded on September 11 that year. It became a '9/11 event' that ended up killing more Chilean citizens than the US 9/11 event.

And of course the CIA helped compile the lists of leftists, trade unionists and activists that the DINA [Chile's secret police] used to hunt down and kill.

Happy [selfish] thought? I'm glad I went in June and not September.

pdiddycornchips July 23, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Everyone regardless of age should be issued an Uzi and instructions on it's use as they enter the theater. That will end this craziness once and for all.

Native_of_SL_UT July 23, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Probably stop those assholes that insist on using their phone at the theater too.

bobbert July 23, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Now, there's a point.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:03 am

See, now, I would have no problem with that.

Except all those yutzes would be armed too, and at the end of it, we'd ALL be deader 'n doornails.

SorosBot July 23, 2012 at 10:26 am

Had someone been prepared and armed they could have accidentally shot a whole bunch more of the people in the theater while trying to play Dirty Harry and made the situation even worse.

That's a much more likely outcome, moran.

chascates July 23, 2012 at 10:34 am

And when the police arrived they would simply spray the crowd to take out everyone. God will know His own.

Fraudulently_Joe July 23, 2012 at 10:35 am

Something tells me he'd be okay with that outcome, as long as the victims were brown.

SorosBot July 23, 2012 at 10:43 am

Gee, what a shock to discover that the author of such a horrifically racist law might just be a racist.

prommie July 23, 2012 at 10:41 am

Get out of here with your crazy logic and facts.

oldedinvn July 23, 2012 at 10:44 am

I is always prepaired. If not the shooter, I could have spraided the area & maybe got him or her or someone.

YasserArraFeck July 23, 2012 at 10:51 am

Any True Red-Blooded Amercian (TM) would've stood up, spit the toothpick out've the corner of his mouth, pulled out his 50 cal Desert Eagle, squinted down the loooooong, hard, shiny barrel and put one through the Nogoodnik's eye. Then sit back down to finish his popcorn and fend off the dripping babes who flocked around him. It's true – I've seen it in the movies……..

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:11 pm

With perhaps a dry, witty punchline like, um… "Haw, did you see the way I shot that guy?"

YasserArraFeck July 23, 2012 at 12:40 pm

"Hm…popcorn needs more butter….."

sullivanst July 23, 2012 at 1:26 pm

"I don't like this movie, not enough violence"

Biel_ze_Bubba July 23, 2012 at 2:09 pm

"Now, watch this shot…"

Fare la Volpe July 23, 2012 at 3:22 pm

"You can bet that Dark Knight will never Rise."

bobbert July 23, 2012 at 11:07 pm

As I mentioned a few posts back, nope.

The shooter was wearing body armor, and a gasmask, and had a fucking AR-15. Anybody that fired a handgun would be dead (haha) obvious from the muzzle flash, and shot shortly thereafter, so they'd have little chance to add to the casualties.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:06 am

Thank you. All those rah-rah eejits keep forgetting the guy had full body armor. The chances of getting off a good enough shot in a dark theater crowded with screaming, terrified people AND tear gas were pretty fucking minimal. I wish I were rich enough to stage a repeat of this for all these heroes. Put 'em all, fully armed, in a darkened theater and send in a robot with a paintball gun. Robot would be the only survivor, I reckon.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 23, 2012 at 10:26 am

Pearce's fuzzy thinking really shows through in that post.

muthalovin July 23, 2012 at 10:27 am

I said it before, and I will say it again:

Christ, what an asshole.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 23, 2012 at 10:27 am

I got no snark for this. All I can do is hope that former state senator Russell Pearce enjoys burning in hell after he dies of what is sure to be natural causes after a long life. Except I don't really believe in hell either, so even that hope is no fun. Sigh.

actor212 July 23, 2012 at 10:32 am

One disadvantage to being an atheist, I guess

prommie July 23, 2012 at 10:42 am

He'll be really really wealthy too and his asshole children won't ever have to work. Thats the way the world works.

oldedinvn July 23, 2012 at 10:50 am

If you mean that he has $2500 in insurance, you are right.

sullivanst July 23, 2012 at 10:51 am

Russell Pearce enjoys burning in hell after he dies

Given he lives in Arizona, he's doing that before he dies. I wish a lifetime without A/C on him.

Naked_Bunny July 23, 2012 at 11:39 am

I'd be satisified with him losing his next election and having to burn in Arizona.

redarmyzombie July 24, 2012 at 12:30 am

Well, we *could* always hope he gets devoured by our great and illustrious Cthulhu…

ManchuCandidate July 23, 2012 at 10:27 am

Sigh. Pretty tough talk for a guy who avoided service in Vietnam.

actor212 July 23, 2012 at 10:32 am

He needs to be reminded of that.

thatsitfortheother1 July 23, 2012 at 10:50 am

We all did. I'm an Air Force vet and I avoided Vietnam.

sullivanst July 23, 2012 at 11:00 am

Yeah, but you didn't write an assholish "If I was there'd I'd have taken him out so it's all the victims' fault for not being awesome like me" Facebook post, did you?

OzoneTom July 23, 2012 at 1:39 pm

That's how I beat the draft also! Did my whole hitch in Alaska.

The G.I. Bill to go to school afterwards was the gravy.

chascates July 23, 2012 at 10:28 am

Really, only members of Seal Team Six might have made a difference in this and then only if they were right next to the guy and managed not to hit anyone else. Using a handgun to run off a carjacker or hold a house burglar for the police is a lot different than shooting a moving target armed with more firepower than you who's wearing protective gear in a crowded enclosed space in the dark amidst screams, tear gas, and chaotic panic.

oldedinvn July 23, 2012 at 10:55 am

Think Hi Standard 22. No problems.

SoBeach July 23, 2012 at 10:59 am

…only members of Seal Team Six might have made a difference…

Yeah but these dipshits are all bigger badasses than Seal Team Six in their masturbatory fantasies.

fartknocker July 23, 2012 at 11:57 am

Myself and some other gun owners had this exact discussion yesterday. Besides law enforcement or U.S. military, very few people have the skills or training to respond to a scenario of 200 scared, screaming people facing off against a criminal with body armor and a large caliber semiautomatic rifle.

I'm still trying to digest why these types of incidents are becoming almost a monthly event. Between Toronto, Norway last year and this event, what the hell is driving our society to this level of lunacy?

And Russell Pierce is a goat fucking teajhadist colostomy bag.

BoroPrimorac July 23, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I'm pretty sure a member of Seal Team Six would have a hard time dealing with someone sneaking up on them and opening fire.

chascates July 23, 2012 at 10:30 am

The obvious solution is for brave Americans to carry guns openly and for coward Americans to wear body armor and stay home. Although there may be a fine line between 'militia' and 'lynch mob'.

AbandonHope July 23, 2012 at 10:53 am

And be sure to wear a gas mask at all times. And night-vision goggles. And have a laser sight on your gun.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:17 pm

"there may be a fine line between 'militia' and 'lynch mob'. "

Or, since it's Arizona, none.

mcrummett July 24, 2012 at 1:43 am

The Second Amendment specifies a _well_regulated_ lynch mob. Fail.

CrunchyKnee July 23, 2012 at 10:30 am

He's still Senator…of batshitfuckingcrazy town.

Chet Kincaid July 23, 2012 at 10:30 am

Yeah, when you ask for real-life "Batmen" to go after real-life "Jokers", what do you end up with? George Zimmerman.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Something tells me that would suit Russell Pearce just fine.

hollywooddood July 23, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Mr. Pearce should tell his therapist he has superhero fantasies.

Goonemeritus July 23, 2012 at 10:31 am

Had people in the World Trade Towers only had the sense to arm themselves with Stinger missiles thousands would be alive today

Edit – I’m assuming this guy has given up on running for office ever again.

ManchuCandidate July 23, 2012 at 10:40 am

Nah, it's Arizona.

sullivanst July 23, 2012 at 10:52 am

Arizona. This is what they call campaigning.

oldedinvn July 23, 2012 at 10:56 am

It is Umerika. What a hero.

MaxNeanderthal July 23, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I mentioned this general argument yesterday to a friend of mine (ex British Royal Marines, ex SAS) who's only comment was a hoot of derision, and the comment "stupid c**t"….

Goonemeritus July 23, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Gun companies sell the allusion of defense the way cologne companies sell sexual desirability in a bottle. Even casual investigations of real data show an inverse effect on desired outcome.

BaldarTFlagass July 23, 2012 at 10:32 am

The theater-goers should have just taken off and nuked the Cineplex from orbit. It would have been the only way to be sure.

actor212 July 23, 2012 at 10:32 am

And when you don’t take your Glock to the movie theater, people with Glocks kill people in the movie theater.

If we outlaw movies, only outlaws will have movies.

chascates July 23, 2012 at 10:37 am

But this guy had an AR so I'll have to take mine as well as a Glock. And since he had a pump shotgun I'll have to carry my automatic one. Crap, my gun safe needs to have wheels on it!

weejee July 23, 2012 at 10:50 am

And a squad of Gurkas to carry yer ammo.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Gurkas wearing burkas?

oldedinvn July 23, 2012 at 10:58 am

Can I shoot the skreenes of leftist moviies to keep Amerika safe?

actor212 July 23, 2012 at 11:03 am

Only because Michael Moore is fat.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:19 pm

"If we outlaw movies, only outlaws will have movies."

Even those movies where Nicolas Cage goes batshit?

chascates July 23, 2012 at 10:32 am

Click on the Facebook and it'll open in another window and become clear. Legible, I mean.

Gratuitous World July 23, 2012 at 10:33 am

this clown is outrages

OurHoboSenator July 23, 2012 at 10:33 am

2012!

Beowoof July 23, 2012 at 10:33 am

Clint Eastwood weeps at how stupid this guys is.

Oblios_Cap July 23, 2012 at 11:22 am

He's Chuck Norris stupid!

IncenseDebate July 23, 2012 at 10:34 am

He should have his typing finger chopped off and stuck us his ass.

prommie July 23, 2012 at 10:43 am

His head is in the way.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Nah, he'd enjoy it too much.

BTWBFDIMHO July 23, 2012 at 10:35 am

We should go back to the Drive-ins and watch movies from our tanks.

IncenseDebate July 23, 2012 at 10:36 am

I have a suggestion. Why not just shoot anyone who buys an automatic weapon and ammo? That would prevent this kind of thing from happening.

Preferred Customer July 23, 2012 at 10:52 am

"OK, sir, you're almost done, and we'll be able to give you the giant-ass gun you want for reasons that are probably totally legit and have nothing to do with an absence of detectable sexual organs. You just have to fill out this form…great…now, if you would just hold this target up in front of you…perfect."

bobbert July 23, 2012 at 11:11 pm

This is the clarity of thought we need in this debate.

deanbooth July 23, 2012 at 10:36 am

I can't wait to hear this argument again when there is a shooting at a daycare center. Crawl your ground!

Guppy July 23, 2012 at 10:56 am

The daycare employees should be packing, without trigger locks or safeties, because reaction time.

viennawoods13 July 23, 2012 at 11:00 am

Employees? What about the kids!! They have a duty to protect themselves, dammit!

GhostBuggy July 23, 2012 at 11:16 am

They must be free to pull themselves up by their bootiestraps, also too.

va_real July 23, 2012 at 11:57 am

Bootiestraps! Heheh…

Naked_Bunny July 23, 2012 at 11:50 am

Mothers should be at home with their kids! Daycares are socialist.

Swampgas_Man July 23, 2012 at 10:37 am

I've been openly avoiding my paper's letters-to-the-editor section, terrified that I'll read something from one of these "If me and MY gun had been there" dribblings and blow my blood pressure through the roof. Asshole.

SorosBot July 23, 2012 at 10:45 am

And every one of these manly would-be vigilantes who knows they could have taken out the shooter all by themselves would have, if there, immediately pissed and shit their pants.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:23 pm

"As soon as I'm done eating my popcorn, I'm gonna take that gun off him and kick his ass, etc. etc."

noodlesalad July 23, 2012 at 10:38 am

The problem with shootings is not enough shooters. Just like the problem with unemployment is not enough unemployed, and the problem with poverty is not enough poors.

ThundercatHo July 23, 2012 at 10:38 am

Why delete the fb post? Aren't you man enough to stand behind your own words? No balls.

Native_of_SL_UT July 23, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Not very courages, is he?

kathop53 July 24, 2012 at 7:08 pm

maybe he got his glock out and shot it. no…he's too vicarious for that. he can only stand behind other people's words, then snipe.

Beetagger July 23, 2012 at 10:39 am

That's it. My pellet gun now goes with me everywhere.

Limeylizzie July 23, 2012 at 10:41 am

I hope this doesn't insult any Latter Day Wonkettes, but this tool, JT Ready who had his own massacre, the moronic Az Sec of State/Birther man and , of course Mittens, are all Mormons. Make of that what you will, I am going with racism as the other common denominator.

sewollef July 23, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Had a bizarre thought: What if Ena Sharples packed heat in the snug of Rovers' Return…. me thinks there'd by no arguing with that lady, and she'd be getting her glass of stout pretty sharpish.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:40 am

I don't know anything about Ena Sharples or Rovers' Return, but I can tell you, if I'd been packing in the snug in that pub in Galway, I'd've had my champers pretty fucking quick, fer sure.

ttommyunger July 23, 2012 at 10:41 pm

…Mormon, racist and don't forget moron.

BaldarTFlagass July 23, 2012 at 10:43 am

I wonder if we would be having this conversation if this Holmes guy had gone to see Ice Age:Continental Drift or Madagascar 3 instead.

YasserArraFeck July 23, 2012 at 11:24 am

If I'd been forced to sit through either of those screen gems, I probably would have shot myself.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:41 am

See, now, if he'd done that it would be no harm no foul.

Estproph July 23, 2012 at 10:43 am

The people that died Friday morning went to their graves thankful that they live in a country with a Second Amendment.

What a piece of $hit that man is.

DailyGrumbles July 23, 2012 at 10:44 am

I smell a WAGER! Tell you what Russ, let's test that theory of yours. We'll lock you in a 4×4 room and pop some tear gas, after a cool minute of sucking down some of that "Egypt Freedom Juice", you'll be let loose on a target. Now, the gunman was covered head to toe in armor, so the only hits on target that will count are ones through the left eye. And since you're no pussy, only a .45 Colt will do for you. Now here is where the fun comes in. For every shot OFF target or miss. We shock you with enough ZAPP to defib a moose. Whaddayousay?? Proceeds will go to a Victims Fund! Come on!

va_real July 23, 2012 at 11:59 am

That sounds fair.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Can we shock him even if he doesn't take the bet?

DailyGrumbles July 23, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Judges say YES!

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:41 am

You seem like a robust young Defender of Teh Constitution.

elviouslyqueer July 23, 2012 at 10:45 am

"Lives were lost because of a bad man, not because he had a weapon but because noone [sic] was prepared to stop it."

Um, "Senator" Pearce? I believe lives were lost in Aurora precisely because "the bad man" had a weapon. Four, to be exact. You fucking moron.

actor212 July 23, 2012 at 10:59 am

"Imagine, senator, if all he had were balls of yarn. Really heavy wool."

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I think the "senator" has balls of yarn.

sullivanst July 23, 2012 at 12:33 pm

To mix national metaphors, the yarn he's spinning is a load of bollocks, so yes, I'd say you're about right.

UW8316154 July 23, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Never mind the bollocks, here's the Sex Pistols!

pdiddycornchips July 23, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Is "noone" a new comic book superhero?

sullivanst July 23, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Homer libel!

PubOption July 23, 2012 at 3:52 pm
bobbert July 24, 2012 at 4:56 am

Okay, I should google it, but wasn't that a hook in "Blood Work"?

timbo71351 July 23, 2012 at 10:47 am

At least he didn't blame it on Mexicans. That's progress for this racist shitstain.

JustPixelz July 23, 2012 at 10:48 am

Instead of buying and carrying a gun everywhere, I'll just stay home. Especially from Arizona.

smashedinhat July 23, 2012 at 10:51 am

Well, obviously the answer is to avoid all public spaces, and we can produce shadow puppets on the walls of our steel reinforced underground dungeons left over from the Soviet times. And feel the FEAR! Oh gawd how I missed you so!

AbandonHope July 23, 2012 at 10:51 am

Arizona idiot

I'm sorry, that headline must have come from the Department of Redundancy Department.

Exhausted66 July 23, 2012 at 10:52 am

To be fair, maybe he's just taking a bullet for the NRA.

Allmighty_Manos July 23, 2012 at 10:52 am

Might be worth pointing out that the theater in question doesn't allow you bring in firearms – as do most private businesses who don't want to pay half their budget in insurance.

But seriously, Pearce needs to guzzle a bottle of Drano mixed with razor blades.

HistoriCat July 23, 2012 at 11:59 am

I'm waiting for someone to go full-crazy and introduce an all-purpose "any employee can carry at their job" bill … then we let the NRA and the Chamber of Commerce tear into each other.

sullivanst July 23, 2012 at 12:15 pm

You say that as if you think the Chamber of Commerce exists primarily to promote the interests of a broad spectrum of businesses in this country, and not first and foremost to promote the Republican Party.

HistoriCat July 23, 2012 at 12:39 pm

I'm kind of assuming Exxon and AT&T don't want their corporate offices filled with gun-toting employees.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:52 am

Especially since, given current working conditions, that would lead to a swift thinning of the ranks in management.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:27 pm

"Pearce needs to guzzle a bottle of Drano mixed with razor blades."

Then he'd be pierced.
[ya get it, huh?]

redarmyzombie July 24, 2012 at 12:41 am

I'd also like to point out myself that I smuggle stuff into theaters ALL the time. I'm sure anyone who wanted to bring their firearm would have been inclined to do the same.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:55 am

Well, yes. However, I sure hope people don't start smuggling their fucking guns into theaters, because we're talking Americans here. While I have no problem with say a theater full of armed Israelis (I mean those folks train round the clock with that shit and they know all about gun safety), I fully expect a theater full of armed Americans to result in multiple casualties as various PeopleofWalmart types attempt to shift their FUPA for greater ease in belching, farting, or rearranging food and sproggen.

redarmyzombie July 24, 2012 at 5:10 am

Oh, I'm not saying it's a good idea. I just mean anyone who was inclined to bring them would have done so, thereby rendering any wingnut rantings about the establishment in question not allowing firearms on their premises absolutely irrelevant.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 2:30 pm

(Hugs RAZ again) True.

Preferred Customer July 23, 2012 at 10:53 am

Isn't it the case that the movie theater forbid the carrying of handguns on its property? Why does Russell Pearce hate property rights so, so much?

An_Outhouse July 23, 2012 at 10:54 am

"Lives were lost not because of a bad man, but because no one was prepared to stop it".

Moral relativism at its finest. This immoral piece of human garbage needs to deport himself before the surveyors get to him.

fuflans July 23, 2012 at 10:59 am

Where were the men of flight 93?

well, some of them were children.

snackypants July 23, 2012 at 12:57 pm

And a few of them were women.

StealthMuslin July 23, 2012 at 11:00 am

The Armies of Douchebaggery have found their Napoleon.

Chet Kincaid July 23, 2012 at 11:00 am

Why don't they just use the same technology they use to detect people with video cameras making bootlegs movie theaters? If somebody has something suspicious in their hand, they can be auto-tazed in their seat, and then the ushers, who should always be off-duty cops and ex-military police, can draw down on them. TSA x-ray machinery and procedures should, of course, be instituted at all movie theaters, which should make theater security jobs very attractive, since hot chicks are always being taken on dates to the movies. Tickets will cost $75, but that is the price we pay for the Second Amendment.

AbandonHope July 23, 2012 at 11:01 am

You're on to something. I suggest you take Tom Friedman's advice and form a startup using magical fairy money from the sky to explore this idea further.

AryaSnark July 23, 2012 at 11:02 am

They were practically asking for it. Also, they shouldn't have worn that short skirt.

Nowisallthereis July 23, 2012 at 11:03 am

Lives were lost 'not because he had a weapon'. Of course. Lives would have been lost if he had waved his wiener at them instead of a couple of Glocks and an auto. Of course. They also would have been lost if he had aimed a pea-shooter at them. Of course. The guns had nothing at all to do with the loss of life. Nothing.

Guppy July 23, 2012 at 11:03 am

The only way to ensure that everyone has the proper training to respond in such a situation is to institute a universal draft, like some of the finer socialist countries in Europe. And we'd have to make sure that it applies to everyone, not allowing anybody to hide from the Viet Cong in the AZNG.

sullivanst July 23, 2012 at 11:13 am

Of course, those soshulist Europeens allow public service as an alternative to military service.

Guppy July 23, 2012 at 11:31 am

No self-respecting American would deign to serve the public in a way that isn't armed.

sullivanst July 23, 2012 at 11:41 am

Indeed, that's why the Peace Corps and Americorps don't exist ;)

el_donaldo July 23, 2012 at 11:04 am

Did you guys catch the story about the racist emails from this walking dog turd the ACLU was able to FOIA from when SB 1070 was making its way to the legislature?

I nominate Pearce as the person to sacrifice himself by throwing his body in the path of every lunatics' semiautomatic round forever.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 1:13 am

This guy is an embarrassment to the human race. And now Jon Kyl has started in with his "class war."

CivicHoliday July 23, 2012 at 11:05 am

A million cans of hobo beans says that 'ol Russell would have been the very first person to shit himself and pass out from fear in that theater. And I am including the 3 month old baby.

AbandonHope July 23, 2012 at 11:06 am

I don't know, the baby would probably have a better grasp of what was going on.

finette_ July 23, 2012 at 11:07 am

We don't even know for sure yet that someone else in the theater wasn't packing, do we? There are two active duty military among the dead, two wounded, and a lot more who made it out OK.

ETA: Which is not to imply that I think members of the military all carry weapons at all times, nor that I think they're allowed to take their service weapons with them when they're off-duty. It's just–if anybody in there was likely to have their own weapon and know how to use it in a chaotic situation, it would be them.

As for not removing "Senator" from his The Facebook–he probably doesn't know how without the interns who set it up.

MonkeyMotion July 23, 2012 at 11:13 am

Exactly right, Russell. Same for them sorry-ass 'victims' at Columbine, Virginia Tech, etc.

Clearly the answer is EVERYONE being armed — at movie theaters, shopping malls, sporting events, schools (yes, even pre-schools!), Disneyland, GOP conventions, churches, Russell's neighborhood — EVERYWHERE. Oh yeah, and cut taxes while you're at it.

Praise, god bless, and where are my nachos?

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:33 pm

"and where are my nachos?"

*om nom nom*
huh what?

Bezoar July 23, 2012 at 11:18 am

I suppose he's considered the outcome if 6 or 8 people had pulled out guns in the dark and started shooting.

ChessieNefercat July 23, 2012 at 12:55 pm

"I suppose he's considered the outcome if 6 or 8 people had pulled out guns in the dark and started shooting."

a) 6 or 8 minimally trained with no follow up people employed in jobs requiring no firearms expertise at all

b) No, they never do.

ph7 July 23, 2012 at 11:23 am

I'm all for allowing the gunman and Russell Pearce a one-on-one renactment to test his theory.

kissawookiee July 23, 2012 at 11:23 am

Sometimes there really is nothing left to say except fuck off and die in a fire (slowly) after a nails lady has removed your scrotum bit by bit with rusty, dull, unregulated toenail trimmers while you're being sodomized by a syphilitic goat, you fucking fuck.

This may be one of those times.

anniegetyerfun July 23, 2012 at 11:26 am

Guns don't kill people. People with lots of guns and full body armor kill people in dark theaters after throwing a canister of tear gas in first.

It's very simple, I don't see why you liberals can't figure that out.

bobbert July 24, 2012 at 4:58 am

If only we could fit that on a bumper sticker.

Pragmatist2 July 23, 2012 at 11:31 am

Mr. Pearce and his heroic ilk ignore one basic fact:
Shooting someone with a pistol who is firing at you with an assault rifle is actually very hard. Indeed, NYC police, who have mandatory gun proficiency training and well maintained and high quality equipment, manage to hit their target in actual confrontations only one out of eight times. In that time an assault weapon will have splattered 30-40 bullets at them with a higher accuracy. So, Pearce, you've got to ask yourself one question: Are you feeling lucky?

fuflans July 23, 2012 at 11:33 am

AZ is like the house of lannister without the beauty.

MinAgain July 23, 2012 at 11:40 am

You know, the right people never get shot.

Woodshedding July 23, 2012 at 11:51 am

Wonkele, good article but I want to correct one thing; "They got themself shot" is the correct redneck terminology. They didn't just let it happen, they MADE it happen.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Like whan an unmarried woman "gets herself pregnant"?

ChessieNefercat July 23, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Yes! Exactly! (The sluts.)

sullivanst July 23, 2012 at 11:52 am

I see there's a news story today highlighting just how fucking stupid Pearce's suggestion is:

Cop shoots son dead after mistaking him for intruder.

That's a policeman. With training. Without chaos. One on one. Getting it totally, tragically wrong.

viennawoods13 July 23, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Jesus. I can guess what the father's "unspecified medical issue" following that was.

bobbert July 23, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

Naked_Bunny July 23, 2012 at 11:56 am

Yeah, I really want to see the day when I might get shot at a movie because some armed dude who is full of caffeine and really has to pee is irked at my $3 M&Ms bag crinkling too loudly.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:35 pm

The fact that a bag of M&Ms cost $3 all by itself makes me want to shoot somebody.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:01 pm

"Barring some seismic realignment in this country, the gun control debate is all but settled — and your side won. The occasional horrific civilian massacre is just the price the rest of us have to pay. Over and over again, apparently." — "This Modern World" cartoon, first posted after the Gabby Giffords shooting, and now relevant again, or still

superdave July 23, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Yeah, it's a horrible tragedy. But part of me is like, well, this is the country we have chosen. With our guns laws the way they are, things like this are bound to happen. If we choose to have easy access to guns for all, this will continue to happen.

The NRA owns the Republicans and the Democrats have been cowed into submission. So nothings going to change.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:02 pm

“All that was needed is one Courages/Brave man"

Chances are you won't get anything unless you're able to spell it.

User-of-Scowls July 23, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Sadly, I guess this is why you don't yell "Fire!" in a crowded theater.

Biff July 23, 2012 at 12:05 pm

"Where were the men of flight 93?"

Dead, Pearce. All of 'em, dead.

ElPinche July 23, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Looks like the Aurora psychopath killer is the next darling of the GOP, just like Zimmerman.

va_real July 23, 2012 at 12:07 pm

How could this man be considered racist when the clashing boutonniere & tie clearly indicate that this man is, indeed, color blind?

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Even if Russell Pearce were not as completely worthless as he is, I would still loathe him for screwing up my youtube searches for Russell Peterson. At least when the latter says, "Somebody gonna get hurt", it's funny.

mavenmaven July 23, 2012 at 12:15 pm

The republican fantasists are particularly disappointed that Superman didn't show up, inhale the gas, and apprehend the villain, like he would have done were Reagan still president.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:37 pm

If Dumbass were still pretzeldent, he would have would of personally showed up at the theater in a stuffed crotch flightsuit and knocked the shooter out with one punch with "Stars and stripes forever" playing in the background.

GregComlish July 23, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Serious Question: Every time somebody goes on a rampage, the NRA crowd bemoans that not enough people were armed to stop the shooter. Has this ever happened even once? Was there even one incident where a privately armed citizen witnessed a shooting spree and proceeded to accurately shoot the gunman without hitting anybody else and then everything abruptly came to a peaceable halt without any more bullets? Because every time I read about these attacks, the killer is always taken down by the cops or by suicide.

There were no less than three privately-armed citizens present during the massacre of the Gabriele Giffords entourage, but they all fled. The Ft. Hood shooting was on a military base. It was crowd of highly trained, heavily armed, battle-tested, gun-enthusiastic American heroes, And even then, even the most advantageous circumstances possible for a bystander, the assailant was still taken down by a police officer.

In light of this, it seems the honest chance of a privately armed citizen with minimal training stopping an assailant is almost zero. There are challenges in combating a gunman (eg, navigating total chaos and uncertainty under the threat of death) that gun advocates naively dismiss. The idea that privately armed folks are going to be effective in opposing an armed assailant is a cartoonish belief rooted in child-like fantasy that the good guys always win.

sullivanst July 23, 2012 at 12:31 pm

I think the guy the gun nuts held up as an example of why they were right in the Giffords shooting is actually a fairly comprehensive case study in why they're completely and utterly wrong:

He was in the drug store when he heard the first shot, ran into the scene with his safety clicked off, saw the actual hero who'd disarmed Loughner, decided not to draw and shoot because he didn't want to be mistaken for a second gunman (wise choice) and instead tackled the good guy, wrestling him against a wall. With a gun with the safety off in his jacket pocket, where an accidental discharge would almost certainly have injured one of them.

The only difference his gun made in the end was it was a factor in his running into the scene. His presence there really didn't do anything good – the gunman was already being subdued, but he set that effort back. Had he fired his weapon at the person he was considering firing at, it would have been at least one more innocent victim. Worst case, it would've allowed Loughner to regain his weapon and continue the attack. Everyone involved was basically highly lucky that he had enough awareness of the dangers of gun use in that situation not to use his gun.

SpeedoFart July 23, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Well, talking about Gabby Gifford, wasn't whatshisface was taken down by an unarmed aid?

Also, wasn't Dr Tiller's shooter tackled by a couple of unarmed church ushers?

Seems like you're way more helpful if you aren't carrying a piece.

Edit:
Maybe instead of Tiller, I'm thinking of the shooting that happened at a Unitarian church a while back. Remember that? In one of the instances, it was unarmed people that stopped and held the shooter.

MonkeyMotion July 23, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Oh, there you go again, thinking rationally. [The GOP has no use for your kind.]

Monsieur_Grumpe July 23, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Why would anyone want to live in a country where you must bring a weapon to go to the movies?

usuhname July 23, 2012 at 12:22 pm

They say cream rises to the top….but then so do floaters.

Fox n Fiends July 23, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Conservatives are Awesome!

SpeedoFart July 23, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Who the fuck are those 136 doucheholes that actually liked Pearce's comment?

sullivanst July 23, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Many of the same doucheholes that voted him into office, most likely.

tessiee July 23, 2012 at 12:40 pm

“All that was needed is one Courages/Brave man… With large, muscular biceps and dreamy blue eyes… MMMmmm… um, wait, what was I saying?"

BZ1 July 23, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Yup, just one gun-toting galoot, firing into the tear gas at an armored-up madman, that'll work!

ChessieNefercat July 23, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Colorado is a concealed carry state, right? I read that there was one person with a gun who realized that the only way to use the gun would be to expose him/herself to a difficult to see, fully armored, heavily armed shooter, and who wisely chose to hide instead.

Also, too Former. Sen. Asswipe? I'll bet there were any number of people in that theater who felt the same way. Yes, sirree, I am sure if you were there, despite being all big and bad, and Courages/Brave, you would have been among the first to toss an infant through the air in order to wedge your fat ass under the nearest seat.

You have your gun! You stand up in the middle of the smoke, and screaming, and panic, and people running all over! You're thinking aim at the one with the gun! But you see a lot of guns. You're all thinking the same thing, and you take each other out as well as how many more caught in the crossfire?

I am tired of people like Pearce using terrible tragedies as an excuse to masturbate to their fantasies of having a dick long enough to throw over their shoulder and hit a gay/woman/minority right in the face.

Sorry this isn't very coherent. I'm upset.

lulzmonger July 23, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Today we are NOT all Russell "Divothead" Pearce, putting on his best He-Man camslut moves for some cable network crews & just cold classing up some grisly mass-murder aftermath LIKE A MUTHAFUGGIN' BOSS. Wow: oddly, wageslaves often act more slavish even in a crisis than "Courages/Brave" – & who better to concern-troll about this banality than that squinting mewling withered lump?

More importantly, did Pearce crib this entire bit from 2002-vintage Coultergeist – or as I recently saw on the Interwebs, did she just simply wait for an off-guard moment to stab her unspeakable black oily distended mutant ovipositor into his pooper & infect him with a ventriloquist Coulterembryo?

It would be criminally negligent not to speculate.

barto July 23, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Obvsly the proper response is to have everyone remove their shoes and get x-rayed and manually violated before being allowed in the theatre. Also, no drinkies!

Schmegeg July 23, 2012 at 2:45 pm

CBS introduced the orange haired defendant as James EAGAN Holmes today, thus initiating him into the assassins club.

Fare la Volpe July 23, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Considering a man who shared just two of his names received harassment and death threats on Facebook, I can't imagine why.

redarmyzombie July 24, 2012 at 1:09 am

Oh, that's just fucking wonderful…

outragedcitizen July 23, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Anyone have any doubts that put in this situation, the good "Senator" would have either shit himself or shot himself in the foot trying to get his gun out of the holster? Maybe both?

Lazy Media July 23, 2012 at 6:58 pm

He wasn't wearing body armor. He was wearing "ballistic gear," which is just nylon-web belts and vests and stuff.

MissNancyPriss July 23, 2012 at 8:33 pm

The "men" of flight 943 are dead. As are the "women" of flight 93.

ttommyunger July 23, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Thank to this doughy pant-load I now understand the term "Hindsight" : it is the particular point of view one has while peeping out of his own asshole.

DahBoner July 24, 2012 at 11:18 am

This is nothing that a hefty dose of 240VAC won't "cure"…

SHOCK THE MONKEY
..

danielwalldammit July 24, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Arizona is the new Texas.

deleted3170292 July 24, 2012 at 4:32 pm

uh….this dude had armor, an AR-15, a shotgun, and 2 glocks.
it would have been quite a feat for the average armed civilian to beat that.

Troglodeity July 24, 2012 at 6:31 pm

So, basically he's saying his friend's niece's best friend's boyfriend is less than a man. Nice.

clblabin July 30, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Also implied in the distinguished gentleman's comments: everybody on Flights 11, 77, and 175 were pussies. He's just sayin'.

But what we really needed on 9/11 was a few REAL MEN with anti-aircraft weapons in their back yards in order to shoot down any airplane that's acting suspiciously–tragedy averted.

thatsitfortheother1 July 23, 2012 at 10:55 am

'Cept that those little exity signs are battery powered and don't go out.

actor212 July 23, 2012 at 11:01 am

Yea, but then there's the whole tripping over bodies and people and seats and stuff to get there.

Naked_Bunny July 23, 2012 at 11:40 am

He could have fired in the direction of the signs. Especially since it would be light there with the doors opening into the corridor.

I don't think there's anything that could have been done to mitigate the death toll, but there's plenty that could have been done to make it worse. It's easy to come up with scenarios after the fact, but right in the seconds where the gunfire is happening?

Even the people on Flight 93 had time to find out what was going on elsewhere that morning, and nerve themselves up to fight back after discovering that they were dead even if they didn't.

Naked_Bunny July 23, 2012 at 11:37 am

Heck, even in non-digital theaters, they don't usually have someone in the booth the whole time, since it's not as though the reel changes occur randomly. That's one of the reasons why the starting times are staggered. (The other reason is so everybody doesn't show up at the multiplex at the same time.)

HistoriCat July 23, 2012 at 11:52 am

And that's why you have a theater full of people yelling "focus" and "volume!" while they miss the first five minutes of the movie.

va_real July 23, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Sex Pistols = the good guns.

sullivanst July 23, 2012 at 2:00 pm

But sex == ebil!

redarmyzombie July 24, 2012 at 12:27 am

Welp, I dunno about you, but *I'M* going off to have a drink right now!

(could sure use fucking SOMETHING…)

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:33 am

Here's a hug, if that will help. But have the drink too, sure.

redarmyzombie July 24, 2012 at 5:11 am

Thanks MittBorg; hugs make EVERYTHING better.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm

(Hugs RAZ) You're welcome, sweetie. It'll be OK.

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I had friends in Grenada during that delightful invasion. The American military knew exactly who to round up in the villages. Those villagers who had been working to start cooperatives, including financial cooperatives. No one's written much about the mass graves there.

There is only ONE 9/11, of course. OURS. USA! USA! USA.

I'm glad you survived.

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