ARABS UNDER THE BED  6:36 pm July 21, 2012

Congratulations, Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison, You Are Michele Bachmann’s Newest Muslim Terrorist!

by Kris E. Benson

AIYEE MUSLINS!Oh LOOK, Michelle Bachmann is being a little trooper, ignoring criticism from her own party, the Democratic party, and the reality-based community, to double down on crazy and accuse ANOTHER high-ranking political-type person of Muslim Brotherhood ties. Except she’s not really ACCUSING anyone, she’s just “asking questions,” that’s all. Just asking questions, no harm in asking a question, is there? And isn’t that nice, that she’s managing to persevere and soldier on in the fact of such adversity?

Shrugging off criticism from GOP leaders in Congress, Minnesota Republican Michele Bachmann broadened her allegations Thursday of Islamic infiltration in the U.S. government, accusing [the Muslim American] Democrat Keith Ellison of associations with the Muslim Brotherhood.

“He has a long record of being associated with [the Council on American–Islamic Relations] and with the Muslim Brotherhood,” Bachmann told right-wing radio and TV show host Glenn Beck…The exchange came a day after Bachmann was denounced on the Senate floor by Ariz. Sen. John McCain. Earlier Thursday, House Speaker John Boehner termed Bachmann’s allegations “dangerous.”… Bachmann used the interview to expand on her campaign to root out Muslim Brotherhood infiltration in the government, which she said “truly is breathless.”…

Bachmann repeated her accusations that Abedin’s family members, including her long-deceased father, associated with the Muslim Brotherhood. But even as she questioned how Abedin could have received a government security clearance, she denied accusing the Clinton aide of being an agent for the Islamic group.

“All we’re doing is asking a question,” she said.

Just asking questions, that’s all, nothing wrong with asking questions, is there? Just asking the questions out there that are begging to be asked, and that EVERYONE ELSE is thinking, that’s all. No harm in that, none at all.

CORRECTION: This post initially said Keith Ellison was from Michigan, because Rebecca Schoenkopf decided it would be great to add a mistake to someone else’s headline.

[The Star Tribune]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 663 comments }

CarnyTrash July 21, 2012 at 6:42 pm

I don't think that's Bachmann in that photo. I think it's Bat Boy.

Butch_Wagstaff July 21, 2012 at 7:32 pm

I thought it was Rick Scott in drag.

Boojum July 21, 2012 at 9:41 pm

You imply there is a difference.

deletedroommate July 21, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Bachmann Found in Cave. (not Marcus, obvs)

OneDollarJuana July 22, 2012 at 9:29 am

If it had been Marcus, obv. it would have been a man-cave.

YasserArraFeck July 22, 2012 at 10:24 am

Bat(shit crazy) Boy

bumfug July 21, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Do small children cry and cling to their mothers at the sight of this hag? How does someone that stupid remember to breathe? Would Marcus fuck her even if he was straight? Just askin' questions.

Isyaignert July 22, 2012 at 2:28 am

Srsly, how in the fuk can anyone work for or vote for batshit crazy Michelle Bachmann? She is a racist fumduck and it's way past time for this shrew to go home. MINNESOTA – WAKE UP AND VOTE HER OUT. You are embarassing yourself big time.

Rotundo_ July 22, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Unfortunately the folks showing up to the polls in her district are as nuts as Michele is. If the voting public is stupid, racist and crazy, the successful modern candidate will also be stupid, racist and crazy. She is a useful tool for the party as a sideshow attraction while the big crime is going on. When someone is flapping their arms and looking hysterical you can sometimes ignore the presence of that hand slipping away with your wallet…

DrunkIrishman July 21, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Michele Bachmann needs a good ramming. It's obvious she has a lot of pent up sexual frustration from the lack of intercourse with her clearly gay husband and the shower head is not doing the trick.

So, she's taking it out on everyone and anyone. Poor gal. It must suck knowing your husband has had more cock inside him than you have.

bumfug July 21, 2012 at 8:43 pm

You can be the one – I've seen Play Misty For Me and I recognize that look in her eyes.

NellCote71 July 21, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I like your style.

sati_demise July 21, 2012 at 11:44 pm

She is gay. She needs a good woman but cannot admit it. Only lifelong frustration could produce a woman like this.

LetUsBray July 21, 2012 at 6:42 pm

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that it took that harpy this long to fix her psychotic gaze upon Congressman Ellison.

Jukesgrrl July 21, 2012 at 7:13 pm

When my father was alive he hung out with some pretty radical right-wingers at his golf club. Does that make me a radical right-winger? If so, can I have some of Rush's moniez?

Designer_Rants July 21, 2012 at 10:07 pm

If you were a radical right-winger, you would just get money. They just give it to you; for being insane and on the radio. Bonus munneez for operating a chalkboard on the teevee.

C_R_Eature July 21, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Stock Options for wearing Naughty Librarian glasses on Teevee.

astauff July 21, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Ellison is from Minnesota too, not Michigan. His district is next to Bachmann's.

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2012 at 12:03 am

Incredible, isn't it? Such crazy fuckers should be so close yet so far from the sane voters? I'm not sure but is this the only time one member of a delegation has so directly attacked another? At any rate, I know they usually try to at least act cordial, not hold a press conference to ask randomly chosen questions that happened to pop into whatever she carries inside that forehead of hers that morning while she was peeing.

Like, "Wife beating is a serious issue in this country. It even exists here in the congress. Rep. WhatamIdoinghere, for instance, from the developed side of my sovereign state. What does he say about that?"

DoucheWillis July 21, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Bachmann is questioning how someone else got a security clearance? If there was any more irony here, I could throw out my garment steamer.

huracan July 21, 2012 at 6:45 pm

When pressed, Bachmann quoted Cookie Monster's trenchant observation that "Asking question good way to find out about things like COOKIES!!!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xakv5XQ0yYs

MuddyMaeSuggins July 21, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Rep Ellison is from Minnesota. His district is right next to Bachmann's – so yeah….

tbogg July 21, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Twenty bucks says Marcus didn't give that pearl necklace. Or any pearl necklace for that matter…

SayItWithWookies July 21, 2012 at 6:51 pm

I'll take that bet — Marcus probably gave it to her right after she found it in his sock drawer.

Blueb4sunrise July 21, 2012 at 6:47 pm

If only she were breathless.
Uhhhhh, from VOTES, I mean.

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2012 at 12:04 am

Good save, Blueb.

shortsandpants July 21, 2012 at 6:47 pm

That's cool she's into friendly questions, because I've been DYING to ask where she gets her opiates. That shit's gotta be pure, dooods.

not that Owls July 21, 2012 at 8:32 pm

Gotcha!

shortsandpants July 21, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Sneaky little devil!

Biel_ze_Bubba July 22, 2012 at 10:20 am

Opiates my ass … we're talking hallucinogens here.

pinkocommi July 21, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Domestic terrorists in the US tend to be white, right-wing, Christian fundamentalists. Michele Bachmann is a white, right-wing, Christian fundamentalist. Ergo, Michele Bachmann is a domestic terrorist.

It's called logic, people.

Grief_Lessons July 21, 2012 at 7:02 pm

No, you need to phrase it as a question. Then you're just asking.

Toomush_Infer July 21, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Um, I think you're supposed to do this in the form of a question….hey, Grief, you beat me….although I was aiming at the Jeopardy crowd…

Chet Kincaid July 21, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Timothy McVeigh wasn't razing a building, he was raising questions!!

Designer_Rants July 21, 2012 at 10:57 pm

He didn't blow up 168 people, he blew a nation's mind!

jonstaebell July 21, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I know you people on the coasts can't tell one fly-over state from another, but Keith Ellison is from Minnesota, not Michigan: http://ellison.house.gov/

Toomush_Infer July 21, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Um, with only Wisconsin in between, it's pretty hard to figure out where the boundaries are…besides – Flint….

billy_reuben July 23, 2012 at 7:46 am

Keith Ellison is my representative here in Minneapolis., though he's originally from Michigan.

kittensdontlie July 21, 2012 at 6:53 pm

If it's muslin infiltration that makes MB "breathless", then you see she's got the hunger for some sweet brown muslin brotherhood infiltrated lovin'.

"Watching in slow motion as you turn to me and say…
Take my breath away…."–Berlin

Designer_Rants July 21, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Ope. That did it. Must watch "Top Gun" now. (Is that gay?)

kittensdontlie July 24, 2012 at 11:19 pm

And with T. Cruise being newly liberated,…your action is suspect.

SayItWithWookies July 21, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Hell, even her House Intel Committee chairman says she's just making shit up, though as politely as he can manage.

Apparently Michele's takeaway from The LORD's rejection of her as His presidential candidate was that she was holding back too much.

Toomush_Infer July 21, 2012 at 7:30 pm

That's because the infiltrators got to him (McCarthy Lesson # 1)…..

Butch_Wagstaff July 21, 2012 at 9:45 pm

The only step after that would be Bachmann starts thinking she's part of the Islamic infiltration and starts calling the FBI to report herself.

HistoriCat July 22, 2012 at 9:42 am

She could self-deport to Guantanamo.

Gratuitous World July 21, 2012 at 6:55 pm

the muslim brotherhood has carried out so many attacks on America(ns). Someone should really follow up on this.

va_real July 21, 2012 at 8:05 pm

All of us should be asking questions.

elisabeth_vt July 21, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Just curious if this might actually (finally) be a bridge too far for Michele. Is there such a thing?

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2012 at 12:23 am

Not if her district is made up of people as ignorant as Okies.*

rdxenti July 22, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Polling from Minnesota's 6th Congressional District shows her leading by 7,000 points, forever.

miss_grundy July 22, 2012 at 3:10 pm

In order for her to have that Joseph Welch moment, she would need someone, like a Joseph Welch, to call her out at a public hearing of her committee, the way Mr. Welch called out Joe McCarthy. By busting her chops politely, but publicly, it could then be globbed on by the media and then her meltdown would be complete.

MonkeyMotion July 21, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Is she off her med's again?
Has Minnesota shut down all its psycho wards?
Are there no exorcists available, anywhere?

Just askin'.

PuglyDoRight July 23, 2012 at 5:55 am

Where's Bobby Jindal when you need him? I heard he's got experience exorcising hysterical women.

ProgressiveInga July 21, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Attention whore.

shortsandpants July 22, 2012 at 2:27 am

Bachmann pulling a BARB, there. But only for the sake of being BARB. You know— it's like BARB always says, because she's always saying funny BARB stuff!

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 3:28 am

Excuse me, is there some reason you're going on endlessly about Barb today? Barb is my friend and this ranting is irking me something awful, especially since she isn't here to defend herself.

redarmyzombie July 22, 2012 at 4:08 am

It's probably Lube making another account so he can continue to be a shithead.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 11:39 am

I wonder if it's our old friend and sexual harrasser V-Whatever. 'BeccaLou didn't banhammer him, he ran away because Barb finally told the truth about his harrassment. Now he's back because she's gone? I don't know. I don't like drama, and I don't like people who attack others behind their backs. When I dislike someone, I let them know up front. It's not Lube tho. Lube has no command whatsoever of the English language, and this person appears to have *some* rudimentary acquaintance with it.

redarmyzombie July 22, 2012 at 4:12 am

By the way, uh, where is Barb? Is it something to do with the glitches on ID?

UW8316154 July 22, 2012 at 10:16 am

I think she's visiting the Great White North.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 11:42 am

I have no idea. We're all speculating. She hasn't reached out to me, at least, and I think she's had a very hard time this past year with her health and her daughters' situation. Apparently, someone attacked her and she has now deleted her account. Hopefully, she'll let us know why and wherefore. I hate to think we're losing TWO of our oldest and best commenters at the same time! Owls is gone too! I can't leave y'all alone for TEN MINUTES without SOMEbody starting a fight.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 11:47 am

Listen: I don't know what your beef with Barb is, but this bullshit has to stop. I'm sorry you don't like Barb. Presumaby you're old enough and smart enough to know that no one gives a fuck. Take it elsewhere. Go home and draw pictures of women and stick them up on your wall, name them Barb, and yell at them till the fucking cows come home.

While you're here, try to act like a fucking adult. Keep your beef with Barb to your own fucking self. Stop being such a bratty asshole. It's most unendearing. If you didn't have the balls to say word one to Barb all the time that she WAS here, you can stop being such a fucking abject coward as to rail at her behind her back. It's despicable.

AbandonHope July 22, 2012 at 9:11 pm

A dozen upfists. This is crap I thought I left behind in junior high.

smokefilledroom-owl July 22, 2012 at 9:28 pm

1999 called. It wants its usenet flame war back.

Boojum July 23, 2012 at 7:07 am

Wait. OK, so I agree with everything you said, except for the "act like [an] . . . adult" part. We don't REALLY have to act like adults, do we?

Or was the "fucking" an important modifier? Because I could get behind that.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Dood, it's the Wonketz. I *said* "fucking_adult" for a reason, yaknow.

emmelemm July 22, 2012 at 2:15 pm

You need to cut it out. It's not funny.

Hera Sent Me July 21, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Did Mitt Romney officiate at secret Mormon services commemorating the Mountain Meadows Massacre?

Did Dick Cheney keep actual men in the man-sized safes he had in his VP office?

Did George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice roll around together naked on the Oval Office carpet while she called him King Solomon and he called her the Queen of Sheba?

Hey, I'm just asking questions here.

bobbert July 21, 2012 at 7:23 pm

At least they're better questions than 1-L can spew.

LetUsBray July 21, 2012 at 7:26 pm

And is it true the Steaming Pile of Mitt is planning to legalize polygamy? I still think that question needs to be asked, especially on teabaggistani sites whose regulars are unsure about voting for a Mormon.

Callyson July 21, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Yes.

b[redact]opple July 21, 2012 at 9:09 pm

It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Pragmatist2 July 22, 2012 at 8:09 am

I believe the Bush-Rice thing is actually true. I read it on the Internet

BerkeleyBear July 21, 2012 at 7:02 pm

This woman is Exhibit A that mental disability is no bar to being elected to Congress, and may even be an asset in rural parts of Minnesota.

I know with re-districting her district got even more rural (and she is sticking with it even though it no longer encompasses her residence). But I also know she's such a lightning rod that any opponent will be well funded. Any chance this is just her making an audition tape for being a flunky on Beck's programs full time, because she thinks she's going to lose?

sudsmckenzie July 21, 2012 at 7:52 pm

the gohmert is strong with this one.

valgal2342 July 21, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Michele will be wearing short dresses with low cut cleavage spewing nonsense and interrupting guests on Fox News any day now.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 22, 2012 at 1:20 am

That's my initial thought – she's out to establish her cred with the insane wing of the extreme wing of the teabagger wing of the right-wing GOP. And that takes some very hich-octane crazy.

C_R_Eature July 21, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Dammit, Michele, knock it off! You're Breakin' My Heart.

Grief_Lessons July 21, 2012 at 7:03 pm

McCarthy and Bachmann. First as tragedy, then as farce.

weejee July 21, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Most every time I hear the screech of that harpy She1ey it triggers Joe Welsh's famous Army Hearing rejoinder:

Senator Congresswoman; you've done enough. Have you no sense of decency, sir madam? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?

Designer_Rants July 21, 2012 at 11:12 pm

And every time I read Joe Welsh's famous Army Hearing rejoinder, I read it in a voice that is Ben Affleck impersonating Keith Olbermann.

weejee July 22, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Does this mean you think She1ey is a hairball in disguise to avoid getting tossed from her co-op?

Designer_Rants July 22, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Co-op? I assumed she slept on the floor of her office like all the other Fiscally Responsible (read: Child Support dodging) Teatwats.

OneYieldRegular July 21, 2012 at 9:01 pm

You mean "Eichmann and Bachmann"? I'm just asking a question.

Mumbletypeg July 21, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Nice one!

C_R_Eature July 21, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Michelle Bachmann must have horrible dreams.
Muslims! Muslims everywhere!

outragedcitizen July 22, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Christ, the woman was terrified by a couple of NUNS!

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Yeah, that's right – all they wanted to do was ask questions. They weren't even carrying rulers.

starfanglednut July 22, 2012 at 7:43 pm

That picture makes me itchy.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 23, 2012 at 3:53 am

And not a drop to ink?

ManchuCandidate July 21, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Why does Marcus Bachmann stare longingly at penis?

All we’re doing is asking a question.

Dudleydidwrong July 21, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Christ! If I were married to Michele would I stare longingly at a fucking tube of toothpaste?

Another question in the hopper.

BerkeleyBear July 21, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Let's try this out, since we are just asking questions and all:

Michele Bachmann is known to have a long standing relationship with Newt Gingrich. They've even shared a stage once or twice.
Newt Gingrich is known to be very fond of zoo animals.
He even said he'd want to be a zoo keeper.
Zoos are known to attract weirdos who want to get too close to the animals, if you catch my drift.

Ergo, we need to find out just how much of a connection to illegal importing of rare animals for bestiality Michele has.

C_R_Eature July 21, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Was Michele in a Furry three way with Newt and Callista?

It's a simple question and it would be irresponsible not to ask.

Butch_Wagstaff July 21, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Does that thing travel everywhere with those two?

C_R_Eature July 21, 2012 at 9:51 pm

That's one of those sentences that you can add in bed to the end, isn't it?

Jukesgrrl July 21, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Would that be the Keith Ellison who took his oath of office on Thomas Jefferson's Quran? Who wants to break it to One-L that Thomas Jefferson associated with the Muslim Brotherhood?

Callyson July 21, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Me! Me! Oooh, call on me!

swordfis July 22, 2012 at 8:16 am

Jefferson was a commie too. She has her work cut out for her.

sudsmckenzie July 21, 2012 at 7:11 pm

maybe that's who's name she was scribbling on that napkin.

neiltheblaze July 21, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Will this be enough to get her knocked off the House Intelligence Committee? Should someone this dangerous and unhinged be trusted with sensitive intelligence?

Fare la Volpe July 21, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Not even God trusted Michele with intelligence.

va_real July 21, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Win!

Dudleydidwrong July 21, 2012 at 9:22 pm

If I may ask a followup: Will this be enough to get her knocked up by some sacrificial male so that she will shut up?

(When I first read your post I saw "knocked off" as "knocked up" and while getting it on with One-L is akin to swallowing ground glass we need a volunteer to take one for the team.)

Boojum July 21, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I would definitely hit that. With a vote.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 22, 2012 at 1:14 am

Fine. Now pass me the goddam crowbar, will you?

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 2:01 am

Biely. You're so cruel. (Passes Biely the goddam crowbar)

Jukesgrrl July 22, 2012 at 1:07 am

She's too old. Menopause, added to her many other brain chemistry issues, is part of her problem.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 22, 2012 at 1:15 am

Most men'll pause. That's why we need a courageous volunteer.

Isyaignert July 22, 2012 at 2:37 am

{insert drum sting here}.

Boojum July 22, 2012 at 8:00 am

Or a crowbar.

fartknocker July 21, 2012 at 7:17 pm

John Stewart showed that Michele took campaign donations from a bank that laundered money from Mexican drug cartels. I'll take an honest Muslim over any bloviating shit-for-brain Republican.

aklibtard July 21, 2012 at 10:08 pm

The bank laundered money for actual for real terrorist organizations. Only one degree of seperation between Bachmann and Al Quaida

bobbert July 21, 2012 at 7:28 pm

But even as she questioned how Abedin could have received a government security clearance, she denied accusing the Clinton aide of being an agent for the Islamic group.

“All we’re doing is asking a question,” she said.

And the answer, you steaming pile of government-subsidized horseshit, is that Abedin passed a fucking background investigation, just like everybody else that gets a fucking security clearance ('cept I'm not sure about Members of Congress).

Biel_ze_Bubba July 22, 2012 at 1:11 am

How the fuck did a certifiably insane person ever get clearance to sit on the "House Intelligence Committee"? (This imbecilic twat really puts the moron into that oxymoron.)

Just asking a (serious) question.

bobbert July 22, 2012 at 3:14 am

I do think they have somewhat different rules for Congresscritters, because, you know, elected, democracy, that stuff.

arihaya July 22, 2012 at 6:47 am

rumor has it because by putting her in House Intelligence Committee, GOP basically put her away from more profitable assignment like Way and Means etc

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 5:21 pm

They put her on the committee where she could do the least damage. I understand that they send her out at least once a week to bring back dried water-packs for the standing members.

va_real July 21, 2012 at 7:28 pm

It looks like someone standing behind her is taking 'pearl choker' a bit literally.

bobbert July 21, 2012 at 7:28 pm

No and no.

Blueb4sunrise July 21, 2012 at 7:33 pm

MEMO: Michele Bachmann determined to strike in U.S.

Designer_Rants July 21, 2012 at 11:14 pm

LOL. Condi's all over it.

CthuNHu July 22, 2012 at 12:04 am

Michele Bachmann needs to learn how to be an American.

anonymousryan July 21, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Oh we're going to believe someone whose own bedroom has been infiltrated by the Velvet Mafia? I'm not saying Marcus Bachmann is gay, I'm just asking questions.

finallyhappy July 21, 2012 at 7:42 pm

So when will more members of Congress denounce her? Shame on any of them that do not.

Jukesgrrl July 22, 2012 at 1:04 am

When even Boehner has taken a step away …

shortsandpants July 22, 2012 at 2:30 am

Hopefully BARB will let us all in on that tomorrow! She is very informed about all things BARB, you know.

mavenmaven July 21, 2012 at 7:46 pm

I hope she keeps up the crazy until the election.

Butch_Wagstaff July 21, 2012 at 9:38 pm

I don't think that will be a problem for her.

outragedcitizen July 22, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I don't think crazy will hurt her chances. The people in her district are obviously insane for voting for her in to Congress in the first place.

upthruster July 21, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Umm.. I too have a couple questions?

Is it true that you, Michele Bachmann, were a foster parent to twenty three children in Washington county Minnesota for which the county paid you and your husband 30 dollars a day for each child…for five years?

Is it true that your husband is a closeted homosexual?

All I'm doing is asking questions here….

Butch_Wagstaff July 21, 2012 at 9:38 pm

One L replies:

"Um…no! Where did you get those numbers? From the Muslim Sisterhood? Complete lies. It was $5 a day for 3 children for 23 years! Get your maths right!"

"How can he be homosexual? He's married to me!"

Biel_ze_Bubba July 22, 2012 at 1:04 am

How could he not be?

Isyaignert July 22, 2012 at 2:42 am

Also, too, is it true that you made your foster children (all female, BTW) do all the housework, cooking, and to care for the younger female foster children whilst taking over One Million dollars from the taxpayers? Survey says….YES!!!

What a fukkin' racket! The Mafia would be proud,you crazy, racist POS crook.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 22, 2012 at 10:31 am

With Marcus in the house, she knew better than to adopt any boys.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 5:02 pm

She *specifically requested* female children ONLY. I would like to ask her, as the mother of sons, why she did not care to help out any *male* children in distress. What does she know that might make it unacceptable or inappropriate for young males in distress to be placed in her home for fostering?

Biel_ze_Bubba July 22, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Also, when will Minnestota implement mental health screening for prospective foster parents?

Tundra Grifter July 21, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Did Crazy Eyes get Alan West's secret list of terrorists and Communists in the US government?

Probably found in the drawer of Tailgunner Joe's old desk.

One-L Michele is now so toxic she has to go on Glumm Bleek's show? Sheer InSannity wouldn't conduct his usual Republican rehab?

WoW!

Fare la Volpe July 21, 2012 at 7:53 pm

No, that is not cool.

Michele is a hateful beast of a woman, but that is going way too far.

Boojum July 21, 2012 at 9:45 pm

No, because Michele's mere presence would have made the shooter realize who the TRUE Joker is, breaking his psychotic delusion and saving tens of lives. Marcus, also, would have rushed in front of the shooter, because shooter.

JustPixelz July 21, 2012 at 10:15 pm

i'm with you on this, man.

flamingpdog July 22, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Thanks for feeling my pain, Fare. When some asshole mass murders people at a gay rights rally next door to you, I'll be there for you. Not.

Chet Kincaid July 22, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Why are you being such an asshole? Because you live in Colorado, you get to drag gays into this just to be a jerk to Fare?

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Pdog? Et tu?

How can you say such a thing, dude? I know you're upset, I am too. Still trying to figure out what happened. Please don't do this.

Fare la Volpe July 22, 2012 at 4:49 pm

You openly advocated the murder of another human being, and a sitting national politician at that, and then when people called you out on it you wrapped yourself in the flag of a national tragedy, as if that gave you some allowance to be a cold-blooded monster.

I don't care what kind of pain you're going through — that is unforgivable.

Fuck you very much.

UW8316154 July 22, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Dewd, chill, man. You took this personal against Fare, that's uncalled for.

Seriously, that's why god made gin.

Gopherit July 22, 2012 at 11:58 pm

I think we can all agree that Barb was not in the least bit funny and sold herself with side comentarys for upfists. Seriously, I have never enjoyed her.

So sad 4 u.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:32 am

Stop making blanket statements that assume others agree with you. It should be obvious to you by now that most of us want nothing to do with this childish fighting. When Barb was here, you lacked the courage to say shit to her face. Now that she's NOT here, you're full of criticism. At least have the guts to save it till, and if, she comes back, and then say it to her, since nobody else seems to be dying to hear it.

Biff July 23, 2012 at 9:56 am

Damn, I seem to have missed a LOT lately. WTF? No Barb? WHY?

Gopherit July 21, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Who. IS.USER. OF. OWLS.

bobbert July 21, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Joe Biden?

not that Owls July 21, 2012 at 9:17 pm

That would be some kind of sweet, poetic justice, wouldn't it?

weejee July 21, 2012 at 8:15 pm

You need to consult the Popul Vuh. Check at the Mayan Embassy, they might be able to help.

Gopherit July 21, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Poor owls. Banned for being snarky.

weejee July 21, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Huh?

Gopherit July 21, 2012 at 8:57 pm

User of owls was banned for offending barb and making her leave.

shortsandpants July 21, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Birds of prey have no place in the magical World Wide Web Internet.

weejee July 21, 2012 at 9:00 pm

shortsandpants you sure Q'uq'umatz will be okay with that? 'Cause if that guy gets pissed, we better all watch out.

not that Owls July 21, 2012 at 9:16 pm

A name I'm tired of hearing.

Gopherit July 21, 2012 at 10:42 pm

So sad 4 u.

not that Owls July 21, 2012 at 11:30 pm

"more a symbol than a person"

Gopherit July 23, 2012 at 1:02 am

Fuck off.

shortsandpants July 22, 2012 at 1:46 am

Hey there! BARB called. BARB phones her comments in, now. BARB no longer even logs into websites. BARB just likes to be BARB, now. BARB is being care-free and aloft. BARB is now brushing her hair. BARB is slowly making her way down the steps towards the front door. BARB just grabbed her keys. TEE HEE! Okay BARB is now idling her car in the driveway. BARB is supercool! TALK TO BARB.

smokefilledroom-owl July 22, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Tony, stop posing as shorts.

C_R_Eature July 24, 2012 at 6:04 am

That seems to have worked. Good call.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Who's Tony?

poorgradstudent July 22, 2012 at 4:42 pm

NO NO DRAMA ON MY WONKETTE DAMMIT except for the inevitable day I kidnap Jamie Kilstein and make him love me maybe.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 23, 2012 at 3:59 am

This is a Triumph of an Insult Comic Blog!

sbj1964 July 21, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Just asking does anyone have a big net,a straight jacket (sorry Marcus),and a rubber room for this dingbat?

Chow Yun Flat July 21, 2012 at 8:12 pm

accuse ANOTHER high-ranking political-type person of Muslim Brotherhood ties

I bet that Keith Ellison has the same ties to the Muslim Brotherhood as I do to the Provisional IRA. In my case, a cousin did time with a guy who knew a guy who knew another guy who said he was tight with Martin McGuinness back in the day. In other words none at all.

arihaya July 22, 2012 at 6:51 am

Terr O'Rish !!

finallyhappy July 22, 2012 at 4:50 pm

So look at me- I once drank a Guinness in Ireland also I know several Muslims plus I visited Bethlehem and Hebron(back in 1973) and black people live next door to me and across the street from me and I am Jewish – and a federal retiree. All sorts of bad wrapped up in one oldish woman.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 5:19 pm

OMG! Worst of all, you're A WOMAN!!!

Quick, see if she floats.

gullywompr July 21, 2012 at 8:16 pm

What we need to do is root out the radical Christians who have infiltrated our government, like Crazy Eyes. Down with the Christian Brotherhood!

Isyaignert July 22, 2012 at 1:43 pm

I've heard them referred to as the "American Taliban" which is pretty damn spot-on! They'd feel right at home in Iran.

Terry July 21, 2012 at 8:29 pm

It's like Bachmann has decided to see how much it will take before her Party takes action against her.

We're learning it takes a whole frickin lot.

ElPinche July 21, 2012 at 8:33 pm

I keep telling myself , it's the pills.

pdiddycornchips July 22, 2012 at 10:00 am

That is the question. That's the only question she should be asked hence forth by anyone in the media.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 22, 2012 at 10:04 am

I think it's the money: she's latched onto the same money teat that Beck and Limbaugh suck on. The idiot teabaggers in this country, like the fundie dopes, are plentiful enough to support a crazy-talk industry. She'll have her own hate-radio show the day after MN voters kick her sorry ass out of the House.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 11:12 am

Needs moar Lithium.

DerrickWildcat July 21, 2012 at 8:35 pm

What's the deal with that Lady?

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2012 at 12:43 am

She's a crazy bitch. Kind of just sums it up.

johnnyzhivago July 21, 2012 at 8:43 pm

The guy's a muslim and he has a brother – that's proof enough!

Carrabuda July 22, 2012 at 11:50 am

So obvious: He's a Muslim and he's also a brother. Case closed.

Chichikovovich July 22, 2012 at 12:08 pm

And he once wore a sweatshirt with a hood.

valthemus July 21, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Clearly MB's greatest fear is that an American Muslim will vote Republican.

fishwharf July 21, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Yes, Michelle may be a hate filled Christian, but I think she pales in comparison to Ann Barnhardt. I wonder if they know each other. Ann's latest video is her take on the French Revolution. She manages to work Dan Savage into her diatribe. It's breathtaking. http://www.youtube.com/user/AnnBarnhardt?feature=

chascates July 21, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Hey, Ann's a commodity broker as well as a full-on lunatic! http://barnhardt.biz/
She has the lowdown on the Aurora shootings:
Now, I want you to explain to me how there can ever be peace when all of the good, law-abiding citizens are disarmed, and the only people who are armed are the criminals and the tyrannical, psychopathic oligarchs. Please. Enlighten me.

Is it that that your seminary instruction, oh clergy, was so homosexualist, so shallow, so effete and so devoid of any logic or reason that you actually believe that "peace" means "merely quiet"? Or is it that you, in your self-loathing and desperation for money and worldly approval and acceptance, actually WANT this culture to be exterminated, want to see a Marxist tyranny, and want to position yourselves for a seat at that table of power? And are you actually so stupid as to think that you will ever be granted such? Are you so stupid that you don't even realize that YOU will be betrayed and killed by the very psychopath oligarchs that you lay awake at night mancrushing on and fantasizing about being "friends" with?

sewollef July 22, 2012 at 9:12 am

WTF. I can't bring myself to point my clicky thing at her blogsite, so thanks for posting. I think I need another drink.

mavenmaven July 21, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Amazing logic this Ann Barnhardt has- Europeans butchered each other, but were otherwise cultured, so definitely, if we have rap music and Jersey Shore on TV, then Obama's people will for some reason rise up and butcher all the white people in ways worse than the French Revolution. QED.

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2012 at 12:18 am

Who IS this woman? How have I been so lucky to never have [damn wonket. Had to go back and fix that split infinitive] heard of her or her vitriol before this? I admit I got to 8 mins and then skipped to the end for the money shot, where Obama is the Republican army acting as if they were the troops of the Grand Inquisitor, speaking of "the" church. Oh, and wtf is a "militant homosexualist"?

BoatOfVelociraptors July 22, 2012 at 12:31 am

One armed with the gay rays?

Callyson July 21, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Bachmann used the interview to expand on her campaign to root out Muslim Brotherhood infiltration in the government, which she said “truly is breathless.”

Well, since something that DOES NOT FUCKING EXIST is in fact "breathless," for once Crazy Eyes has made an accurate statement…

chascates July 21, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Has any news agency ever gone back to her district, played her well-known (to the rest of the world) insanities, and gotten comments from her constituents? They can't all be mouth-breathing, inbreed teatards. Some may have all of their teeth.

Isyaignert July 22, 2012 at 2:47 am

A caller on the Thom Hartmann show said he phoned Michele Bachmann's office and when a female staffer answered, he asked her how could she not be embarassed by her boss' ridiculous statements, The reply was a giggle. I guess there are no words.

not that Owls July 21, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Th'air of that place so a-temperate was
That never was grievance of hot nor cold.
There wax also every wholesome spice and grass;
No man may there wax sick nor old;
Yet was there joy more a thousandfold
Than man can tell; never would it be night,
But always clear day to any man's sight.

Lit Happens July 21, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Just asking a question. Does not Michele Bachmann eat shit sandwiches and bark at the moon?

not that Dewey July 21, 2012 at 9:40 pm

It's 7:39pm. Do you know where your Popul Vuh is?

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 1:40 am

User-of-Owls? Is that you?

shortsandpants July 22, 2012 at 2:23 am

Nah. Must be BARB. She's everywhere these days! Crazy Barb!

bobbert July 22, 2012 at 3:37 am

Pretty sure that's not that Whatever.

I still have no idea what the fuck is going on, but there appears to be some kind of schism in the commenting ranks. Also, a fucking Rmoney ad in my sidebar.

smokefilledroom-owl July 22, 2012 at 7:45 am

That's Dewey. I think. (right?)

not that Owls July 22, 2012 at 9:33 am

Indeed. I liked "deletedroommate", but this one is even better.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 22, 2012 at 9:48 am

A Mormoney ad? Click it, and cost him money — I can't imagine any other reason for it being there.

DemmeFatale July 22, 2012 at 10:57 am

I wish someone could de-confuse me!
Romney in the sidebar!
No Barb!
No Owls!
Cats and dogs living together!
What the hell is going on?!

va_real July 22, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Sounds like a Jr High cat spat made waaay too public. I wouldn't worry- if Barb & Owls want to post here, I'm sure they already are doing so under different accounts.

PS I don't see Mitt on the sidebar?

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 4:47 pm

I'm sure you'll see Bobbert's post eventually, but just in case you don't: Barb and Flamingpdog deleted their accounts because of some sort of fracas that occurred between Barb and certain other commenters who attacked her. One of these commenters, who has the nym of "shortsandpants" has since been posting stupid annoying but essentially meaningless comments about Barb, and appears to have shot his wad of vile.

User of Owls has stopped posting, but it might be nothing more than a hiatus caused by real-life, as many of us have. Hopefully he'll return periodically. He hasn't deleted his account and has made no public statement as to his presence on Wonketz. Extemporanus also seems to have vanished, but again, might simply be busy with real life. In the event, he does not seem to have deleted his account, but was expressing some frustration/annoyance with accessing Wonketz on an iPad.

iburl July 21, 2012 at 9:43 pm

He's a muslin, ergo, associations, just like christian Michele Bachman's associations with the christian Ku Klux Klan and Rev. Wright.

kuremmu July 21, 2012 at 9:49 pm

as it happens, while keith ellison does indeed now live in minnesota and serve a minnesota congressional district, he is originally from michigan. he was born in detroit. he was raised a roman catholic and converted to islam. interestingly, he has a brother in michigan who is a baptist pastor.

Estproph July 21, 2012 at 9:52 pm

I'd like to ask a question: is Michele Bachmann intentionally trying to destroy the country because she's being paid by foreign agents? I think the people would like to know…

NellCote71 July 21, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Of all weekends, this is just not funny nor is it snarkable.

shortsandpants July 22, 2012 at 2:21 am

It isn't nearly as bad as BARB, though. Right?

johnnyzhivago July 21, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Somebody needs to update MB on the real threat to America: Space Aliens!

sudsmckenzie July 21, 2012 at 10:01 pm

She's Gohrmorted.

.. just want to see if that flies with the admins come fall.

PubOption July 21, 2012 at 10:08 pm

This comment is in bad taste
.
.
.
.
Has anyone noticed the similarity between Michele's eyes and those of James (Aurora) Holmes?

102415 July 21, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Here's a couple of questions. How much cash is Michele going to make by joining the Anti Sharia Law *nomooselemsaloud!* bunch, 3 million? 27 million? How many more copies of her I'm Running for President! book does she need to sell before she can say, "Well Marcus the garage is finally clutter free. Now, let's order up some fresh I hate mooslems shit to sell?" With Pam Geller getting the okay to smear NYC buses with 1st ammendment protected hate speech this week and all the fearful chest thumping evil crap that will unleash just about 9-11-12. I am wondering if Michele gives a shit what anyone says or does.

Naked_Bunny July 21, 2012 at 10:22 pm

she’s just “asking questions,”

I'd rather not think about Michele Bachmann JAQing off.

User-of-Scowls July 21, 2012 at 10:30 pm

A few questions for Miche1e:
Is your husband gay?
What of the Talmudic Law?
Did you stop taking your pills?

shortsandpants July 22, 2012 at 2:20 am

I would really like to know more about her relationship with BARB.

Barrelhse July 21, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Being targeted by Bachmann bestows the same honor and prestige as appearing on Nixon's "Enemies List."

BarackMyWorld July 21, 2012 at 11:03 pm

The final act of the movie aside, Rep. Bachmann reminds me of Angela Lansbury in "The Manchuriam Candidate."

Self-Uploader July 21, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Bachmann is being paid off by Shelly Adelson to distract the public from Romney's tax return issues and ultra-entitled wife.

Jukesgrrl July 22, 2012 at 5:40 pm

I'm not usually one to embrace a conspiracy theory, but I'd be willing to entertain that idea.

Self-Uploader July 22, 2012 at 6:23 pm

It's credible because it's not "vast". It would only have to involve two people.

ttommyunger July 21, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Strangely, I doubt I could even muster up a good hate-fuck for this pathetic attention-whore. I get some satisfaction from knowing she surely must wear her clothes out from the inside-out…I'm pretty sure she never knows a moment's peace.

ElPinche July 21, 2012 at 11:57 pm

If you can penetrate vajayajay since it's scarred shut, you might OD from all that prescription medication within that treasonous cunt . The last time she received cock was probably on US Bicentennial 1976. Beyond that, her sex life is nothing more than a drug addled cuckold watching Marcus eating out barely legal rentboys.

ttommyunger July 22, 2012 at 12:02 am

You are in fine form tonight me buck-0! Huzza!Sent from my iPhone

smashedinhat July 21, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Having elected representatives relentlessly promoting hateful and divisive positions is a mark of a healthy democracy and sane constituency. Right? And the home schooled brood will be well balanced members of society?
Edit: this is exactly how this woman should be dealt with. http://www.salon.com/2012/07/21/bachmann_challeng

Isyaignert July 22, 2012 at 2:50 am

I have heard her opponent, Mr. Graves speak and he's awesome. I hope he kicks her crazy racist ass into the next time zone.

sati_demise July 21, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Just when you think she reached the ultimate in crazy, she outdoes herself.

is she looking for a co-host spot on Glenn Becks show?

ElPinche July 22, 2012 at 12:01 am

She needs to go back to her kid farm and collect that gubmint cheese she fucking hates so much. In any case, she needs to stay away from government forever.

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2012 at 12:06 am

Shhhh… we don't joke about things like that. Besides, if something happened to Mickey, the Teatards would probably turn her into martyr.

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2012 at 12:09 am

I always figure she's breathless because it's hard to keep up when the voices in her head are all talking at once.

shortsandpants July 22, 2012 at 2:22 am

BARB and I talk about the same kind of stuff! It's so hard to get through to BARB when she's action like that. But… you know. BARBs will be BARBs.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 3:22 am

??? WTF?

bobbert July 22, 2012 at 5:53 am

Pending some official word from Wonket HQ, the best I can make out is that a day or two ago, Barb got offended by some remarks made to her on the Randi Shannon nut-ball pseudo-Senator post, and she apparently nuked her account (not that I'd know anything about that sort of thing).

There seems to be an opinion that user-of-owls got banhammered because of this, although, looking at the thread, owls doesn't appear to have been involved in the dispute. Also, there is a username "owls ain't here man" who appears to carry the history of user-of-owls; hence, not banned?

Then, shortsandpants (who, I gather, is the reincarnation of a former long-term Wonker) has apparently adopted a policy of mocking Barb. I hope he or she gets tired of it fairly soon.

It's a fucking mystery to me.

HistoriCat July 22, 2012 at 10:01 am

Thanks for the summary bobbert – that shit gets old.

Designer_Rants July 22, 2012 at 10:46 am

Yeah, thanks for clearing this up bobbert, and not making it into some cryptic whisper.

Chet Kincaid July 22, 2012 at 11:13 am

Oh for fuck's sake.

UW8316154 July 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm

shortsandpants = shortsshortsshorts?

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Thank you, bobbert. This "shortsandpants" asshole might just be V-OfManyNumbers. Owls isn't banned but has flown off, perchance to be honestly busy with real-life shit, or perchance to pout. Hopefully, he'll flutter by periodically to update us.

Barb nuked her account. Pdog nuked his.

Extem's also vanished, but I don't think he's nuked. At least I can't find any evidence that he's nuked.

bobbert July 22, 2012 at 3:21 am

That's very good. I'm confused about the static.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 22, 2012 at 12:59 am

She's only asking the questions that were there.

not that Owls July 22, 2012 at 9:34 am

She's saddened that anyone took offense to being called a traitor.

rickmaci July 22, 2012 at 1:01 am

We laugh at her and in doing so take out some of the sting from her crazy ass lies because, well, because it is funny that someone could go around in public and say this shit with a straight face. We make her seem like a clown and in so doing view her as less dangerous. But it's time for the snark to come off the crazy. Something needs to be done to bring this bigot lunatic down. Seriously.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 22, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Sometimes I agree, but taking the longer view, she's a gift to the Democratic party: The GOP's crazy aunt who won't stay in the house and keeps running naked down Main Street USA, screeching about what horrible things everybody else in town is up to.

It's significant that even Fucks Gnus won't give her a soapbox to stand on. WND, on the other hand, probably has someone assigned to follow her around full-time.

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2012 at 1:09 am

Here's the truly big question: If the voters in her district have the intelligence to vote MB out of office, is she too crazy to be a "commenter" on Faux Newz? Or just a radio gig playing back up for Glennnn?

It's way past my bedtime, but I have to say good bye to you all and leave this mental puzzle to work out: how would Edward R. Murrow respond to Michele Bachman's crazy?

Nitey. Later, losers.

bobbert July 22, 2012 at 3:24 am

I suspect she could get a part-time gig on Faux, like Snowbilly. They've got a whole stable of disavowable crazies they run out from time to time to fire up the audience.

anniegetyerfun July 22, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Is there anyone who is too crazy to be paid to say words on Fox News?

Gopherit July 23, 2012 at 12:01 am

Come back to the chat, dust

HistoriCat July 23, 2012 at 12:42 am

how would Edward R. Murrow respond to Michele Bachman's crazy?

I'm not sure it would be possible for Murrow to exist simultaneously with Bachmann – we are completely through the looking glass and down the rabbit hole.

redarmyzombie July 22, 2012 at 4:35 am

Oh, god. This woman is making my brain hurt. I think it's trying to have an aneurysm in order to kill itself…

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 5:21 pm

I knew I had to stop reading about Michele Bachman when my heart leapt out through my gullet and slapped me so hard my eyes popped out of their sockets.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 22, 2012 at 6:58 am

Is anyone else getting a strong neo-feudalistic vibe from Citizens United and things like this? http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-18944097

weejee July 22, 2012 at 11:40 am

Perhaps one thing the 0.1 percenters are counting on is that #occupiers and other libtarded dirty hippies are also peaceniks and not likely to morph into #occupy50cal as johnnyzhivago queries below.

Dudleydidwrong July 22, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Someone wrote that the world climate is heating up because these Uber-Rich are burning all of their small bills so as not to clutter up their vaults. When, oh when, will it be time to rise up and rip out the guts of these folks?

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 4:58 pm

No shit, baby. No fucking shit.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 9:32 am

It's been a heartbreaking, strange and difficult weekend. I think it can't hurt to take a bit of a break to look at a few
Pretty Pictures
and Cephalopods.
and More Pretty Pictures.

not that Owls July 22, 2012 at 9:35 am

aaaaaahhhhhh.

weejee July 22, 2012 at 10:01 am

thanks for that C_R_Eature

finallyhappy July 22, 2012 at 4:56 pm

I need to go back to the zoo and spend another hour with the cuttlefish

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 5:08 pm

You won't regret it.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Very soothing. (Cephalopod hug)

BoatOfVelociraptors July 22, 2012 at 7:53 pm

It's the limb multiplier effect.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 8:53 pm

I like the way little cephalopods grab your fingers. They feel so amazing, with their muscular little tentacles.

fuflans July 22, 2012 at 8:32 pm

i took a break with shakespeare. but these are wonderful..

also: i see everything is just as fucked up as earlier.

carry on.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Thank you. I will do that.Somebody's got to lighten the mood here. Might as well be me.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Why shouldn't it be you, darls? You do it so well!

fuflans July 22, 2012 at 9:18 pm

(actually, we also saw the dark knight and drank too much. so today has been devoted to cephalopods).

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Actually, that sounds like a good combination.

johnnyzhivago July 22, 2012 at 9:48 am

Here's a thought! When gunmen start going after the .01% instead of poor shlubs in a movie theater, how long do you think it will take for the GOP, Koch Brothers, etc. to demand a crackdown on guns and the disarming of America???

ifthethunderdontgetya July 22, 2012 at 12:23 pm

That's why they have a Department of Homeland Security, and the NSA (Now Spying on all Americans), silly.
~

johnnyzhivago July 22, 2012 at 12:32 pm

You're right…=C2=A0 And of course it h= as happened – 9/11.=C2=A0 Their reaction to a terror attack on Wall Stre= et was to launch a $2 trillion war against just about everyone.=C2=A0 No= t that some of it wasn't justified, like raiding Bin Laden and feeding him to the fishes.=C2=A0 But most of it wasn't.=C2=A0

BlueStateLibel July 22, 2012 at 1:56 pm

1 percenter Mike Bloomberg is now calling for it according to Huffington Post http://tinyurl.com/bntjo7g.

BaldarTFlagass July 22, 2012 at 10:04 am

Since we're just asking questions here, I'll ask one of Michele, although I think I already know the answer: Are you fucking insane?

BenGleck July 22, 2012 at 10:37 am

That clown is giving crazy a bad name.
Is Marcus a top or a bottom? I'm just asking.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 10:59 am

Cephalopod. Escaping.

el_donaldo July 22, 2012 at 1:48 pm

No, on land, too!?! WE'RE DOOMED.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 1:59 pm
MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Beautiful. Thanks, CRE.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Yeah, they're beautiful until you try to shoo them out of your living room.

Fare la Volpe July 22, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Thanks, CRE. I really wasn't planning to sleep any time soon.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 5:23 pm

When you do don't, under any circumstances, look under the bed. Take it from me.

On the bright side, they keep the Evil Clowns away.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 5:42 pm

So, it's just a question of who scares you more?

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Did you ever read A Pattern of Islands, by Sir Arthur Grimble?

Tangled sin tax July 22, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Thanks. Looks interesting. Got another of his works coming from the library but I'd have to cough up loot for this one. Seems like the apocryphal fellow who moved to Guadalcanal in the '30s to get away from the worries of the world.

Butch_Wagstaff July 22, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Not really related but did ya see this? http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2012/07/1

BerkeleyBear July 22, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Cool. They still can't breed fast enough to overtake us, but any behavior they adopt to counteract the poachers is welcome news.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Thanks, that's heartening!

va_real July 23, 2012 at 12:54 am

Maybe someday we can learn to spring traps without getting caught in 'em. Just a thought…

Mumbletypeg July 23, 2012 at 9:13 am

What an amazing thing to have witnessed. With indication they've had some practice at it:

The speed with which everything happened makes Vecellio, the gorilla program coordinator, think this wasn't the first time the young gorillas had outsmarted trappers.

Thanks for sharing that, Butch~

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 11:19 am
MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Diver? Or marine biologist?

TribecaMike July 22, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Gesundheit!

BoatOfVelociraptors July 23, 2012 at 4:24 am
weejee July 22, 2012 at 11:51 am

BTW, they took down Joe Paterno's statue in Happy Valley, and tomorrow looks like the NCAA will be spanking the Penn State Nittany Enablers, but none death penalty banhammer. In other newz about pedophile licensing agencies, Susan Sarandon sayz she's not sorry for calling Pope Ratzinnger a dick Nazi.

O frabjous day! Callooh, callay also too.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Good. Thanks.

emmelemm July 22, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Hooray Susan Sarandon.

Jukesgrrl July 22, 2012 at 5:53 pm

She only needs a little spanking. She was supposed to say "former Nazi." But it remains possible the only reason he isn't currently one is that the party in Germany was dissolved and to call oneself a Nazi today is illegal.

I believe it would be entirely fitting for every news agency in the world to identify him as "Benedict XVI, current Pope and former Nazi."

Fraudulently_Joe July 22, 2012 at 10:22 pm

She only needs a little spanking.

I'm not usually big on volunteerin', but…

UW8316154 July 22, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Good news on the statue – shouldn't have been there in the first place.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 22, 2012 at 4:40 pm

They sacked him retroactively.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 4:41 pm

(Hugs weejee)

Monsieur_Grumpe July 22, 2012 at 6:21 pm

They should melt down the statue and recast it into something that can be painfully shoved up Sandusky's ass.

Dashboard Buddha July 22, 2012 at 12:47 pm

If wonder if she'll ask Glenn about that dead girl.

Jukesgrrl July 22, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Maybe she can ask Scarborough the same question.

Blueb4sunrise July 22, 2012 at 12:48 pm
C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Spoilsports.

My favorite Microsoft story is the old 90's MS Word gaffe that, when the phrase
"I'd like to see Bill Gates Dead"
was entered the Thesaurus suggested
"I'll drink to that."

This is 100% true, I saw this myself.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Earth, in HD. From the ISS.

Blueb4sunrise July 22, 2012 at 1:37 pm

But where is Lulu Belle?

Lulu Belle is Here!!!!!!!!

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Outstanding.
I like Lulu Belle better than Lucille. Lucille has messed my mind up.

Blueb4sunrise July 22, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Interesting. Went looking . That was kinda Caribbean.

The original kinda from up the Gulf , NOLA R&B. Never heard of this guy. Many gaps in my awareness. Thanks!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bU7OLop9d3s

Saving a 'Lucinda' for later.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Yeah! Jeff was one of those folks Zappa was bringing up. Had this on vinyl in the Zapped Sampler he released on Bizarre/Straight .

The GTO's were on that one too.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 23, 2012 at 4:28 am

The ISS is a strong bastion of hope. They've been building it for most of my life, and to think that these are just baby steps fills me with joy.

lulzmonger July 22, 2012 at 1:05 pm

It's a TRUE FACT that Eliison secretly formed a cell of the LLBJTF (Lesbian Ladies' Bathroom Jihad Terror Front) in Washington!

The group is so zealous & so cunning in targeting Amerikan patriots that even Michele "Mmm, Mmm, Freebasing" Bachman herself once narrowly survived one of their attacks by hiding behind some potted plants.

Dudleydidwrong July 22, 2012 at 9:00 pm

"…Bachman herself once narrowly survived one of their attacks by hiding behind some potted plants." She said later that she mistook one of the potted plants for her husband Marcus but soon discovered that the plant was more intelligent than Marcus when it spoke to her and asked her to "get the fuck away." Marcus hadn't paid that much attention to her in years.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 22, 2012 at 1:05 pm

I wish I had a downfist.

Rotundo_ July 22, 2012 at 1:16 pm

If there was a God, it wouldn't have happened. As for Ms. Bachmann, I just wish she would get some therapy that worked, since it seems whatever she is taking currently isn't helping the delusional thoughts. I want her to get better, not deader.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 1:26 pm

On second thought – What You Said. Thanks.

miss_grundy July 22, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Actually, there is a God and he gives everyone free will to act as they want to do. He is not Deus ex Machina, coming down from Heaven to stop the action in Aurora on Friday morning. He was there to collect the souls of the people who died on the scene.

The jerk who decided to kill innocent people had free will and made a choice. A really, really, bad choice. And that is who is to blame. But we also need to blame the romantic illusions we have regarding guns in this country. Because our country was founded on the point of a rifle, we can't get over ourselves and there are people, like the jerk in Aurora, who thought he could deal with his problems by taking it out on innocent people with a gun. Until we are willing to deal with our gun fascination we will not see the end of stuff like this.

Rotundo_ July 22, 2012 at 5:29 pm

I envy your faith and wish I had some measure of it. As to whether free will played into this horror or biochemical wiring gone terribly awry, it doesn't change much. Unfortunately the idea of establishing some sort of prohibition like ban on weapons will work as well as prohibition did. Every hack gunsmith with a lathe and every hack with access to chemicals will be churning them out in greater number than we already have. The genie is already out of the bottle and not inclined to return to it.

UW8316154 July 22, 2012 at 10:42 pm

I'm guessing a short in biochemical wiring, but even if it is free will, I've come to spiritual terms with the fact that evil exists. At the risk of sounding like a hippy, it is that belief that prompts me to want to share love and good fortune as much as possible, rather than wishing death on someone like, say, Michele Bachmann.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 1:20 pm

If there was a God, this wouldn't be happening to anybody. I personally wouldn't wish this on anyone, either.

However, I'm not above wishing a sudden, very public, violent explosive bout of norovirus on her. Live on CSPAN, preferably, for your DVR-ing convenience.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Now *that's* the kind of ill-wishing I can totally get behind.

OK, that's not *quite* what I meant …

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 5:06 pm

With Norovirus, behind is the last place you want to stand.

Well, in front is no picnic either.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 8:07 pm

OK, how about "I can get behind the splatter shield"?

Oh, ew. Barf.

miss_grundy July 22, 2012 at 2:52 pm

I wish someone would take her aside and ask her the necessary psych eval questions to admit her to the loony bin, 'cause this girl really needs a good long break and some psychotropic drugs.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Don't we all.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 4:40 pm

CRE? Anything you want to share? (And you can interpret that any way you want.

va_real July 22, 2012 at 4:54 pm

He shared some nice pix earlier- did you see? A few of those sea critters were a little bit scary looking, but most of 'em were lovely…

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 5:44 pm

SSSSSHHHHH!! I'm hoping for some good drugs, girl.

flamingpdog July 22, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I'm out of here. The self-righteousness at WOnkette is overwhelming.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Aw, shit.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I leave for one day and I come back to this. What's happened to all my dear little Wonketteers? (Sobs)

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Shit, I've been here and I still don't know what happened. I think there's an awful lot of things happening offline somewhere I don't go, like Twitter maybe.

People are getting awfully thin-skinned these days too.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 5:32 pm

I'm so glad you're here, CRE, level-headed and loving as always. I blame the heat and this election mania, the fires, and the usual attack of summer crazy. Or UFOs. It could be UFOs.

Fare la Volpe July 22, 2012 at 4:52 pm

I don't know, but between p-fuck advocating my murder and Shorts attacking Barb every chance he gets, everyone's acting like an entitled bitch today.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 5:34 pm

I KNOW pdog didn't mean it that way. He's upset and mad, and people say things when they're upset and mad. It doesn't mean we can't be upset by what they say, but it's not the same thing as being mad at *them.* Somebody has to be the loving adult in the room and say, "I love you, I know you're upset, you're overreacting and didn't mean it. Now calm down and let's talk." pdog is a greatly loved and valued member of this community, just like you, darls. If we can't love and accept each other, how the fuck do we save humanity?

HistoriCat July 23, 2012 at 12:22 am

People got fucking crazy after the Giffords shooting too … most of them calm down, some self-delete in a huff. Actually, there was a lot of intra-Wonkette sniping as the health care reform passage neared completion too. I guess family quarrels really are the most painful.

va_real July 23, 2012 at 1:19 am

Thanks for this- it's good to get a historical- er, historicat- perspective.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:40 am

(Hugs HistoriCat) You are a cat of rare wisdom and perspective.

Native_of_SL_UT July 22, 2012 at 3:55 pm

At what point do we stop making fun of this crazy bitch and realize that she is becoming a danger to the republic?
She's not funny anymore.

va_real July 22, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Here's a nice summer Sunday afternoon something with a title that might refer to MB, but probably doesn't- "Mulher Sem Razão" => woman without reason.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5qUv2OREFs

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 5:00 pm

That is nice. Thanks.

va_real July 22, 2012 at 5:45 pm

I'm glad you liked it. The video's not all that interesting, but I like the music…

Blueb4sunrise July 22, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 22, 2012 at 5:30 pm

No harm in asking questions. For example, Michele, when did you evolve from bat shit crazy to dangerously insane?

Butch_Wagstaff July 22, 2012 at 6:57 pm

I think it was when she started to get her butt kicked in the primaries. It ddn't square with God's Plan for her (as she believed), so she started to go a little haywire.

Doktor Zoom July 22, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Totally OT: Vlad The Impala Begging Fund Update: I finally managed to scan a 2001 photo of the actual Vlad, replacing the web photo of a much more raggedy '73 Chevy. Bonus: photo features blurry image of me before my beard turned white, my ex, and the 3-year-old version of Kid Zoom.

ThundercatHo July 22, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Kid Zoom is adorable and you and the ex are pretty cute, too. Vlad is a much better looking vehicle than the one previously pictured. Good luck and keep posting links to your tip jar since probably most of the wonkerati haven't seen it yet.

Doktor Zoom July 22, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Would you believe that tiny child is now a hulking teenager who thinks he's going to drive Vlad? HA! (Yeah, I'll probably give in eventually)

ThundercatHo July 23, 2012 at 12:33 am

Amazing how that happens isn't it? Probably has something to do with why the fridge, freezer and pantry is cleaned out all the time. We have one ourselves but he has to drive a '96 Subaru wagon (manual transmission) which is a lovely shade of taupe with the sideview mirror held on with duct tape and a plastic bass stuck on the hitch.

Doktor Zoom July 23, 2012 at 12:45 am

Kid Zoom will mostly have to be content with his mom's 95 Camry, which is the far safer car anyway. I like him too much to let him drive Vlad.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 23, 2012 at 4:36 am

Make him promise to upload some sweet videos of Vlad drifting, or doing donuts in a gravel lot.

Designer_Rants July 23, 2012 at 12:06 am

That's a pretty sweet car. I've ridden in a couple of those. I remember staying at my friend's house when I was in middle school, both his parents smoked like chimneys and it almost made me sick to sit in their car (a blue version of yours), windows up, looking through the haze. Nice 'n' Roomy, though.

emmelemm July 23, 2012 at 4:31 am

Keep hitting 'em with that, man! I know more Wonkateers will donate, I just don't think they've seen it yet.

Blueb4sinrise July 22, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Blue update: I typed my name in as Blub4sinrise, and liked the typo.

Also, fear the bear.
http://triblive.com/news/2249250-74/bear-grant-ma

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Awww! What a cutie!

Doktor Zoom July 22, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Poor thing! Hope it can be rereleased into the wild where it belongs!

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 9:34 pm

They gave it a tranquilizer and carted it off to safety, thank goodness. Stupid people in cars were frightening the poor thing. I'll bet the same fucking cowards would run like crying babies without their fucking cars.

mosjef July 22, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Bachmann's Tuna: Overdrive

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 8:24 pm

OK, this is funny!

Blueb4sinrise July 22, 2012 at 8:35 pm

You ain't seen nutting yet.

greenide1 July 22, 2012 at 8:23 pm

What kind of people keep reelecting this dumzilla to Congress? There must be some kind of IQ suppressing hallucinogenic in the water. I'm just asking a question.

fuflans July 22, 2012 at 8:32 pm

right?

fuflans July 22, 2012 at 8:37 pm

that MN congressional caucus must be interesting.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 22, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Jesus Christ people. I try to get some work done this weekend and half of you go apeshit. Whoever needs a good skullf*cking please form a line here. Also, I will be camping on top of a fucking mountain next weekend. Please try not to all out murder each other while I'm gone.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Yes.

Skullfuck Them All. Let God sort 'em out.

anniegetyerfun July 22, 2012 at 11:32 pm

(looks around)

Am I the only one in line?

va_real July 23, 2012 at 1:05 am

Ahem- I believe she was talking to those who NEED the skullf*cking, not those who just want one… We'll probably need a lasso to get those needing folks in line.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:27 am

Dear Wonkketz I am riting thes frm a sml vilg in mauritius we only hv electricity2 hrs a day …

va_real July 23, 2012 at 1:39 am

Mauritius, eh? Well, I guess you're first in line then.

sezme July 23, 2012 at 9:15 am

Be nice to the dodos.

AbandonHope July 23, 2012 at 9:32 am

Does omitting letters save on electricity? Some of those consonants can be serious energy hogs.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 23, 2012 at 4:42 am

I didn't go apeshit. I went BatShit. I would rate The Dark Knight Rises at about 86/100.

imissopus July 22, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Christ, you people.

Biff July 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Ann Rmoney? Izzat you?

Attila_T_Hun July 22, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Bachmann used the interview to expand on her campaign to root out Muslim Brotherhood infiltration in the government, which she said “truly is breathless.”…
Do you think she meant "breathtaking"?
Or does she believe "breathless" means astounding etc.?
Either way, she is and always will be an idiot.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 10:22 pm

"Brainless" would be more apt.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Haboob! and Breast shaped clouds

Nudge-Nudge.

anniegetyerfun July 22, 2012 at 11:33 pm

(1) Those look nothing like breasts.
(2) But they are magnificent, so they do have something in common with breasts.

ETA: Those clouds formed over Regina, SK, which for some reason Canadians pronounce in such as way as to rhyme with "vagina."

Doktor Zoom July 22, 2012 at 11:35 pm
va_real July 23, 2012 at 1:09 am

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose, hein?

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:28 am

Habibi!

BoatOfVelociraptors July 23, 2012 at 4:44 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmnxF_WTOgg

I'll just leave this here.

C_R_Eature July 23, 2012 at 5:41 am

*Snort*

I.L.B.T's.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Great. That is ALL my various girlfriends need to hear me singing in a drunken stupor.

valmach July 22, 2012 at 11:06 pm

please someone , put a penis in her mouth… her husband just is not up to the challenge, at least not for her

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 23, 2012 at 4:29 am

How insane are you?

As much as she's easy on the eyes, then you *must* know that she's mad. Not as stupid as people make her out to be, sure, she's quite a clever lady. However, she is mad. Properly, diagnosably mad.

I'm not sure there's enough money – barring "private island fuck you money" – which would entice me to get near her.

What really grates is that I know she's not dumb … as she's made out to be. She isn't.

Eh. I'll shut up now. I feel a little ill about the idea of skullfucking La Bachmann.

C_R_Eature July 23, 2012 at 6:12 am

Relax. It doesn't have to be human.

C_R_Eature July 23, 2012 at 5:51 am

Well, now, No One Could Have Predicted:

"Police and federal officials have placed security around ex-Rep. Anthony Weiner’s wife, Huma Abedin, after a New Jersey man threatened her, law-enforcement sources said.

An individual, described as a Muslim man, made the unspecified threat after Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) last week claimed Abedin’s family had ties to the Muslim Brotherhood and asked for a probe to see if she is helping the Islamist organization."

Minnesota must be so proud.

smashedinhat July 23, 2012 at 6:57 am

shakes head sadly, a completely unexpected result

dafrey23 July 23, 2012 at 9:04 am

MB = Muslim Brotherhood
MB = Michelle Bachman

Coincidence, I think not.

weejee July 23, 2012 at 10:32 am

And if you stand them on their heads you get a BM.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Er … (works out logistics) Ew, weej. They'd be pooping out their faces.

Oh, wait. Michele Bachmann already does that.

Chet Kincaid July 23, 2012 at 9:22 am

I hope nobody thinks there is an actual schism among Wonkette commenters. It looks to me like a handful (or less) of 4chanesque sociopaths have decided it's their right to annoy and irritate someone they've targeted, even after the person is gone, justifying themselves generally with "it's all snark, why you mad over snark?(=lulz)"

Sadly, Wonkette is not immune from this general disease of the Internet, despite intelligence and a sense of humor being the informal quality control in this comments section. That's why it's really not smart to make yourself a public figure here or anywhere else without understanding the consequences. Posting an abundance of personal details, even if they're non-specific, leaves you open to being attacked on what's important to you, if not hounded in the real world.

It's also worth noting that all of this b.s. stems from having a new female editor take over the site, who then published some new rules of the road for the comments with heavy sarcasm, causing some fellows to immediately "bull up" and test her limits. Apparently, months later, a few guys are still smarting from having their pee-pees whacked, even though everything is supposedly permissible as "snark," and the editor is making nice by flying all over the country giving out free beer. Coincidentally, some jovial fellows chose to hound a woman out of the comments and have a silly victory party afterward.

AbandonHope July 23, 2012 at 9:31 am

I can't figure out what part of your comment I like the most, so I'll just say: seconded.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 12:36 pm

So it would appear, Chet. Thank you for a solid analysis of a most upsetting time. It seems as if that is exactly what happened, protestations of innocence to the contrary. Please accept this laurel … no, wait. Please accept this hug and upfist.

Tundra Grifter July 23, 2012 at 3:12 pm

CK: Sometimes on Wonkette I feel there is a parallel universe that I don't occupy.

I don't know the incident(s) you describe. I've read Barb's comments and she is not only the funniest person here, but seems to be a remarkably kind, together, thoughtful person who has been going through a very rough time.

There is never an excuse for someone to be a bully. Barb shouldn't have to put with any crap – and, of course, neither should anyone else here. We have enough problems in this world that need to be handled.

commiegirl99 July 23, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I think Chet's point is very important, and oft-overlooked. Who the FUCK could be mad when I am GIVING OUT FREE BEER?

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 3:57 pm

You weren't supposed to HEAR THAT PART, goddammit.

Tundra Grifter July 23, 2012 at 4:00 pm

I thoroughly agree with CK that we should treat each other with some reasonable level of respect – and there is no cause and no place for anyone being a bully.

I don't see the bright line to your rules. I can't agree that you "caused" any of this hot mess – people here need to accept responsibility for their actions.

bobbert July 23, 2012 at 10:18 pm

I'm almost certain I said "thank you" for the free beer, but if by some circumstance (e.g., too much free beer) I did not, Thank you very much for the very indeterminate quantity of free beer.

And for the chance to meet you and other Wonkadoos in person.

But mostly the free beer.

Edit: that last line was a joke, in case we're still running snark threat level turquoise.

Fraudulently_Joe July 23, 2012 at 9:57 am

So, is it too early to call time-of-death on Penn State's football program? It seems like this ruling cripples it, at the very least.

Good work , NCAA (snarklessly).

Steverino247 July 23, 2012 at 10:02 am

I thought taking away all their victories was a nice touch. Your next sport trivia question session should include the names of "weak" programs that "defeated" Penn State…

Fraudulently_Joe July 23, 2012 at 10:09 am

Well, my understanding (from the comments over there, which are almost as excellent as ours) is that those wins aren't converted to losses- they're not foreits. It's just that the wins literally no longer exist. Nobody won those games.

More to the point is that it removes 100 or so wins from JoPa's record, personally.

Biff July 23, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Yeah, that'll teach him!

Fraudulently_Joe July 23, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Haha, yeah, I get it, because he's already a moldering corpse in the ground and isn't capable of conscious thought.

Still, I think there's something to be said, overall for deciding that part of the remedy for institutional enabling of child rape in service of an institutional legacy is to completely fucking wipe out the institutional legacy that people were trying to protect in the first place.

I'm just saying, it's perhaps an instructive course of action for dealing with certain other ensconced political and cultural institutions/ criminal conspiracies to enable child-rape which shall remain nameless.

bobbert July 23, 2012 at 10:20 pm

That may teach the folks who are still defending his rotting corpse.

UW8316154 July 23, 2012 at 10:22 am

Finally some good coming out of the NCAA. Good on ya, Emmert.

Also, Penn State signed a consent decree and will not appeal the sanctions.

weejee July 23, 2012 at 10:36 am

Now on to the enablers so they can do some, can we say this here, hard time.

UW8316154 July 23, 2012 at 10:02 am

Good ruling on Penn State by NCAA. College football is so riddled with corruption that money has long been more important than the "student"-athletes. Furthermore, none of the behaviour exhibited by Paterno and the rioting students in the aftermath of the scandal suggest that there was any insight or recognition of the depravity, severity and misplaced priorities infecting that program.

Biff July 23, 2012 at 10:14 am

“All we’re doing is asking a question,” she said.

Fuck me, did she just use the royal We?

Fraudulently_Joe July 23, 2012 at 8:16 pm

SHE'S A MONARCHIST!!

bobbert July 23, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Um, I think it's more like the consensus of voices in her head.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:40 pm

They get along?

Extemporanus July 23, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Jesus, you guys.

I've been up the coast (The Sea Ranch) and basically without cell service or web access since early Saturday morning. I just got home.

I'm sorry if my absence fueled any erroneous speculation. I don't typically comment much — if at all — on weekends, so if this happens again, please don't assume the worst.

Also, I had absolutely nothing to do with Barb's departure. I repeat: Nothing. The last thing that I said to her was quite a while ago, and it was supportive. The last thing she said to me was more than a week ago, and it was effusively praise-filled. Her final comment being attached to one of my recent comments is pure coincidence — no causal linkage exists.

I'll stop back to correct a number of other misstatements and assumptions made in this thread later, when I'm done enjoying the hell out of this beautiful damn day.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Dude, it's OK, I think. That is, I noticed your account *wasn't* nuked and let everyone know that you were probably off enjoying your own life. I'm glad you're not gone, FWIW. Enjoy your day, come back later, it's all good.

commiegirl99 July 23, 2012 at 3:22 pm

I think it's high time I stepped in and said what's going on in these parts. I apologize for having let you all stew in misery and mystery for so very long.

Yes, Barb was getting hounded by a bunch of folks, some of whom (like Owls) I didn't feel comfortable talking to about it, since he's been a cock about me from day one, and some of whom I've had some nice contacts with and felt I could bring it up.

The commenters I did talk to about it understood and said they would hold off on being mean girls (usage gender neutral), and I told Barb that. Then Barb responded to an old comment, really pissed, and I was all BARB WTF? I was mad at her about it, and that hurt her feelings very much because she did not believe I cared for her well-being. She nuked her account.

I believe Barb is not too terribly upset with me anymore, and I hope that's so, because I value her.

As to Owls: I banned Lube's IP address. Oddly enough, that seems to also have made it impossible for Owls to comment here. HOW WEIRD.

Now to the rest of you: anybody being a shithead and attacking a fellow commenter for no reason (i.e., not about something he or she said, as P-Dog did by posting for Chelle to get massacred, which was NOT FUCKING COOL, P-DOG) will be sooooo sooooo banned. We will start with Shorts.

And if you guys wanna bitch and whine about me censoring you, fuck off, I'll ban you too. I've been way to fucking sweet about your playground. It's mine now. Fuck you.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Thank you very much for that explanation. I will now state that I knew about parts of this, but did not feel it was appropriate for *me* to say anything for or against anyone, since I had no verification of what had been told to me. I'm very disappointed that Owls would choose to hound Barb under a sock-puppet. That is not the kind of behaviour I would ever have expected from him. The Lube sock-puppet was ugly and obnoxious.

I just want to say one other thing. I hate censorship. With a passion. And I hate authority. Also with a passion. However, this is not an argument against YOU kicking ass, because it's well-deserved, you have been way too sweet for way too long, and SOME people just don't know how to behave. I believe in people extending basic courtesy to each other so that censorship and top-down authoritarianism are NOT NEEDED. However, when people cannot conduct themselves like reasonable adults, there is nothing for it but to let the known working model of authoritarian censorship take over. I'm sorry it had to come to this.

And no, I'm not leaving, so don't fucking kick me out, for chrisakes. Also too I just want to squeak up for Pdog. He lives in CO. For all we know, he's personally affected by the shooting. We could cut him just a tiny little bit of slack because it's his first offense (that we remember about and hush up y'all in the back).

AbandonHope July 23, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Unfortunately, a lack of basic civility often makes top-down authoritarianism useful, if not required, in some cases.

The thing for people to remember is that Wonkette, like most other websites out there, is not a democracy. It is a dictatorship, or if there are multiple moderators, an oligarchy. Like I said before, if people are all butthurt about not being able to act like dicks, they are free to go off and start their own left-wing snark-based website.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Exactly. Authoritarianism works. If people are not willing to do the work required to ensure a civil interaction, sooner or later the authoritarian fist of law and order will be called in to facilitate things. Because it WORKS. For those who have no self-discipline, discipline must be imposed from outside.

AbandonHope is quite right. You wanna be a dick, do it in your own goddam space. Don't shit all over my space or the communal space and expect me to be happy about it.

redarmyzombie July 25, 2012 at 2:00 am

Wait, that was OWLS pulling all that shit? Holy fuck! O.o

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 2:07 am

In all fairness, I cannot say of my own knowledge that it was Owls. However, I have no reason to doubt Rebecca's word, and she is the only one here (other than a sysadmin, if Wonketz has one) who would know. Also, in all fairness, you will note that Rebecca did not say "OWLS did this." Rebecca only said she banned Lube's IP address, and Owls apparently can no longer comment. Since I have no evidence that Owls cannot comment or has not run off to Timbuktu for a fun jaunt, I can only say that Rebecca has noted the connection. We can draw a conclusion but there is no guarantee it is the correct conclusion. For all we know, it was Owls' wife, or teenage son, if he has one, or anyone who has access to his computer at home or at work.

redarmyzombie July 25, 2012 at 2:49 am

*sigh* As much as I hate to say it, it's probably true. If you check out his page now, his username has been changed to say he's been banned.

Well, at least it's over, and not everyone kicked the can as we feared.

HistoriCat July 23, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Thank you for the update Rebecca. I could say a lot more than that but it really wouldn't add anything.

Now if we can all act like fucking adults, maybe we can get back to the business at hand.

Barb_ July 23, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Get back to the snark and everything else will be fine.

HistoriCat July 23, 2012 at 5:42 pm

One can only hope!

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Do I know you?

DemmeFatale July 23, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Phew!!!!

C_R_Eature July 23, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Welcome back, Barb (I think). It's been Weird this weekend.

Chet Kincaid July 23, 2012 at 7:40 pm

You're back! Can't keep a good woman down!

Barb_ July 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Chet! : )

Tundra Grifter July 24, 2012 at 11:11 am

CK:

But a good woman can always get down.

Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere.

bobbert July 23, 2012 at 10:24 pm

How do you get to restart with 93p? Henngh?

(Edit: probably because you are far wittier than I am).

Barb_ July 23, 2012 at 10:31 pm

I restarted at absolute zero this afternoon.
Good to see you, Bobbert.

emmelemm July 23, 2012 at 7:38 pm

You're in charge, Mama. Do as you will.

And just a side point: it's one thing to have a really really "intense debate" between two commenters; it happens. Commenter says something on one particular post; other commenter disagrees in the strongest possible terms; many electrons are exchanged, names possibly called. But still, confined to one particular thread or post. Maybe the commenters in question get over it; maybe they dislike each other thereafter and sullenly avoid the other's comments. And never, ever spare an upfist.

It's quite another thing for commenter X to follow (in the general sense of the word) another commenter Y around and post something stupid and negative (like, "why u so lame, bro") on every comment they make on every post. That's not cool and should be stopped.

Doktor Zoom July 23, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Y u so gold lamé, bro?

bobbert July 23, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Wayne Newton libel!!!!11!!

emmelemm July 24, 2012 at 3:14 am

Gold lamé is FAB-ulous!

Fraudulently_Joe July 23, 2012 at 8:26 pm

See, this is exactly why I stay out of the affairs of my fellow commenters. That sort of laid-back, restrained demeanor is how I earned my nickname, No Drama Oba-

Err, I mean, No Drama Mumbly_Joe. Yeah, that nickname.

>_>
<_<

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:26 pm

SO! It was YOU all along!

I knew when he said "multi-ethnic libtard" there was a good chance I was talking to the 44th President of the United States. Have I mentioned how much I love your tie, Sir?

ProgressiveInga July 23, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Thank you, Ma'am, may I have another!?!

Wonkette: Came for the snark, stayed for the buttsecks.

C_R_Eature July 23, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Thanks very much for the update and clarification, Rebecca. It was a strange and upsetting weekend, not the least because no one seemed to know what the hell was going on.

I think that groups of people, whether highly organized or loose associations will erupt into chaos now and then…it's just a function of group psychology, I think and stresses tend to be a t_r!_ggering factor. Groups that have a well defined command structure and well known rules of behavior tend to be more resistant to chaos and bounce back quicker.

I see that most of us have weathered the Barb-pocalypse, with just a few casualties. I hope that the worst actors either reconsider their behavior and come back, or if they can't, just stay away. There's codes of behavior in any civil society that really should be observed and there's lines that shouldn't be crossed. Almost everyone here seems to be able to act within these guidelines, but the ones who can't or won't deserve to go. I'm hopeful that these few Ban-hammered individuals will be enough of an example and that you won't have to micro manage the site. No one would be happy about that.

I like this site. It's been a great place to swap banter with an outstanding group of truly clever and creatively crazy people, to point to the news insanity of the day and say "Gee Fred, this is so dumb!" and an important safety valve for me to vent my accumulated rage, fear and sadness. Thanks for keeping it going.

EDIT: TruckNutz.

bobbert July 23, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Needz moar tentaclz.

C_R_Eature July 23, 2012 at 10:37 pm
bobbert July 24, 2012 at 4:48 am

Thank you for that.

I'm a pretty big supporter of SETI, but I also wish we'd conduct a search for terrestrial intelligence.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:31 pm

I know I've watched that many times before, but I still love it. Octopi! They're SO SMART! Thanks, CRE!

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Also, too, Ballz.

bobbert July 23, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Thanks for the update (and the free beer, never forget).

While I prefer the minimum possible amount of moderation, I'm old enough to have watched several once-interesting newsgroups and websites go up in flames. IMO, the tipping point is personal attacks — not "what you said", but "who you are". Ban the fuck out of that.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Awright, but I get first dibs on the first pretty girl/boy. Wut? You can have ALL the others.

HistoriCat July 23, 2012 at 4:14 pm

It's good to be the king horde leader.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 4:24 pm

It sure is. (Scritches HistoriCat's chin)

Gopherit July 21, 2012 at 9:06 pm

You mean Rebecca…or barb…is voldemort?

weejee July 21, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Snark aside I'm stunned. When did this happen?

Gopherit July 21, 2012 at 9:18 pm

The 1871 thread a page back. She is listed as deleted….because she quit….and owls old coomets are gone. This is counterinsugency to get owls back.
Under extemporanus' long thread.

Nothingisamiss July 21, 2012 at 9:36 pm

WHAT?!

deletedroommate July 21, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Wha? I thought Barb had a family emergency or something.

anniegetyerfun July 21, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Wait, so Owls AND Barb are gone? Was this a true banning? A flouncing? I've looked for Extemp's thread, but have not found it.

ETA: Nevermind. Found it. Weird.

DemmeFatale July 22, 2012 at 12:24 am

WTF?!
I don't understand.
Barb and Owls?
Somebody explain this to me, please.

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2012 at 12:27 am

Nope. That was me. Oops–don't tell wonket security that I'm here.

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2012 at 12:41 am

Barb is so funny. Surely you jest.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 5:07 pm

That is absolutely untrue. He has not been banned, his account still exists.

Nothingisamiss July 21, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Holy shit.

weejee July 21, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Oh fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck. My understanding is that V quit, but that there were some non-Wonkette blog issues there. Regards the rest, I haz a confused.

weejee needz moar beer / logs off & heads home

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 12:05 am

The Fuck? There's barely enough in that thread to provoke a Snit, let alone a Full-Blown Fuck This Place.
This makes no sense to me.

shortsandpants July 22, 2012 at 2:32 am

I hope BARB is okay with it! Because BARB has a very important opinion on these BARB matters. Maybe instead of driving other people away BARB can finally figure out where the gas pedal is and never look back? WHO KNOWS? Just BARBin' ya.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Owls' comments are right where they always were, so I have no idea what you are talking about. ID has been extra-burpy of late, so could everyone just calm down and not assume the worst, please? And could those who actually might have access to Owls ask him to please post a single comment here just to calm things down a bit? He hasn't said a word about Leaving Forever And Stamping His Little Feet.

Please let's not war on EACH OTHER. There's ample targets out there, in every sense of the word, and they are far more deserving.

smokefilledroom-owl July 21, 2012 at 11:33 pm

I'm lost..

*nevermind, yeah–weird.

Designer_Rants July 21, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Where is this thread? I don't get it.

Edit: http://wonkette.com/478717/wingnut-gop-candidate-

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2012 at 12:38 am

Explain it to me when you find out, okay? I said something about Barb being the first all the time, but humorously. Not like she was cheating on a spelling bee, or something. went on in the comment to say that what pissed me off about her speed was that her replies are so much funnier than mine would so I get discouraged, or something. I sort of thought it was a snarky-style backwards compliment.

Then she replied with a list of all the firsts for a while and she only had three. That showed up in a reply to me, but I didn't think she was corked, or anything. And I have no idea what user of owls did.

My short reply to this sub thread was before I realized that something sort of serious actually happened, a wonkette kind of serious, mind you. After what happened in Colo., we all know what truly serious means

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 10:52 am

We would also have accepted Boyle M. Owl, President of the Bowel Oil co.

Jus_Wonderin July 22, 2012 at 11:11 am

"cryptic whisper"

That is going to be the name of my next Boy Band.

Designer_Rants July 22, 2012 at 11:14 am

Lucky. I wish I had the physique and charisma to be in a Boy Band. I couldn't even fill in for Joey Fatone.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 11:42 am

I'd forgotten about that. She IS due for a vacation and a visit to the young'uns.

smokefilledroom-owl July 22, 2012 at 2:34 pm

I don't see nothin'. (shhhhhh–AdBlock plus.)

bobbert July 22, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Gone now. I think it was some kind of ID glitch — couldn't click on it.

UW8316154 July 22, 2012 at 3:48 pm

I seem to recall that a couple weeks ago, she said she was going up there and was going to be incommunicado.

As for all the rest of the shit that's going on, I dunno, man, I was asleep.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 4:22 pm

You're correct, she did. Both her daughters had children within the past month, and she had planned to go visit, and I know she had a visitor from out of town last week.

I dunno about that other stuff either. I don't like fighting and meanness, I just want my Wonketz to be crazybittersnark. But we might have lost three or four of our oldest commenters over this. Ugh.

Fraudulently_Joe July 22, 2012 at 5:05 pm

I was going to say that I don't think "shortsandpants" is actually our real shorts^3, because I was a lurker back then (two site updates ago??) and shortsshortsshorts was way funnier.

But then, I looked back through the old archived comments, and now I don't know what to believe.

::still a relatively new wonker, in the scheme of things::

Callyson July 22, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Shit, this sucks–I liked both Barb and Flamingpdog. I hope they come back…

ThundercatHo July 22, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Thanks for the update and reassurance. I was starting to worry that there was some sort of mass meltdown or that One-Ly's psychosis was contagious thru the intertubes.

Butch_Wagstaff July 22, 2012 at 6:22 pm

"…some sort of fracas that occurred between Barb and certain other commenters who attacked her."

Totally missed that but I don't always read each post and their threads.

EDIT: Oops, I did see the thread & read most of the comments. But I hadn't reread the comments since I posted my own so I missed the ones slammin' Barb.

Chet Kincaid July 22, 2012 at 8:35 pm

flamingpdog was being an ass on his own, I don't think it is part of the Barb business.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 5:40 pm

I don't know what to believe either, but this "shortsandpants" character always appears to have one other fool upfist its comments — and I know that V-# was very fond of logging out of his account and then upfisting his own comments. Which is why I suspect it's V-#.

sezme July 22, 2012 at 6:26 pm

In my memory, s^3 being funny vs. obnoxious was kind of haphazard. In any case, don't know/care what his/her current beef with Barb is. When situations like the one we're discussing happen here (and they have happened before), it's usually when someone invests way too much of their real identity in their Wonkette identity.

UW8316154 July 22, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Boy, I guess we're dating ourselves when we can remember commenters from back in the mists of time, huh?

Quiz! If "shorts+pants" = "shortsx3", then what does "V" equal?

Anyway, I was ALSO alot funnier in 2006-10 (under an old system with a different name) because I was struggling with a massive, unmedicated major depression, got laid off, drank way way way too much, and struggled with the bitterness via a caustic wit. Clean living doesn't seem to lend itself to snark so easily.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Well, stop trying to shoo them out of your living-room, then, Dr. Lilly.

va_real July 22, 2012 at 5:44 pm

I like the UFO theory. Wonketeers abducted by aliens… I mean, who wouldn't want to abduct a Wonketeer? I'd abduct you if I had a UFO, & I mean that in the nicest way.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Thank you. That makes me glad. I've got no tolerance for Drama anymore, Life's too short.

I blame Fluoridation, or The Internet, or Mind-Control Rays, or perhaps, FOX really is Videodrome. I have it on good authority that the Aliens avoid this planet. They get our AM radio, can you blame them?

It's hot, the world is full of stupid people, we have genuine problems and half the US government is trying it's level best to kill he other half, there's been a continuous landslide of Bad News ever since 2000 and…MTV's Jersey Shore. Everyone's got limits.Hell, I'm just glad I haven't gone Cannibal yet.

Biff July 23, 2012 at 10:00 am

Hey, I live adjacent to Area 51–don't blame it on us, man!

va_real July 22, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Opps- soory!

Biff July 23, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Trouble is, when you really need the good drugs, they're no fun. I've been eating dilaudid and flexeril and an occasional baclofen as if they were candy lately, and am having no fun at ALL!

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 6:46 pm
MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 8:09 pm

That's very sweet. I think. (ponders possibilities)

va_real July 22, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Yikes! Be careful waving those clicky things around- someone could get hurt!

va_real July 22, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Don't you have to like people MORE to become cannibal?

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Just remember that most people aren't fit for human consumption.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Be sure to get YOUR copy of Kaikai Aniani before it sells out, then. AFAIK, it's the only publication that carries workable instructions for field-dressing humans, and includes a recipe.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 22, 2012 at 9:09 pm

You haven't?

-puts bowl of stew down-

HistoriCat July 23, 2012 at 12:17 am

You're good people sentient life form, CRE!

starfanglednut July 22, 2012 at 7:38 pm

I love you.

Designer_Rants July 22, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Agreed. Can we get our FlamingPDog back now?

UW8316154 July 22, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Seriously. Here we are on a snarky political blog on a Sunday night, and *we* can't seem to get along?

Anyway, I'm going to the kitchen. Anyone need anything while I'm up?

starfanglednut July 22, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Z, I just got here. I was having a rough weekend, so I rested up. How are you?

Edit: And wtf is going on around here?

BerkeleyBear July 22, 2012 at 7:47 pm

A while ago Barb was being followed by someone who kept putting up posts on this and a number of other sites mocking her tendency to share personal details (I only found out because she took umbrage to the person then). No idea if it is the same person as shorts and pants, but it was plainly something that bugged her, and she probably just had enough.

Owls has been in and out ever since the change in editors – which is too bad.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 8:13 pm

After seeing what it is CREature alleges your people do, I would like to withdraw my acceptance of this "trip in your spaceship." Thank you.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 8:21 pm

(Hugs you)

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 8:24 pm

This blog is so educational.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Does it come with a Sliver Spoon?

Biff July 23, 2012 at 10:08 am

Mmmm, long pig…

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 8:33 pm

There's been a bit of a meltdown and bobbert did a little preliminary sleuthing and informed us of the details. Seems like a bit of a tempest in a teacup.

Hope you're doing OK, sweets?

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 8:39 pm

When will ANY state or nation?

AbandonHope July 22, 2012 at 8:46 pm

You're kidding. A motherfucking cyberstalker? Of Barb, one of the most inoffensive people I've ever known?

I guess that's proof that scumbags come in both liberal and conservative flavors.

anniegetyerfun July 22, 2012 at 11:27 pm

I don't think that was the same person. The style is really different.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 8:47 pm

I swear, I always walk away with a dozen book/film recommendations and some pretty interesting and arcane facts for my fact-pack.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Thank you. You always bring me the nicest things.

starfanglednut July 22, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Oh Ok. I trust it will work out one way or another. I was having some anxiety, so I decided to take a day or so away from the interwebs. How are you?

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Me too. Also User, and Extem.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 8:57 pm

I think the Aurora shooting has everyone on tenterhooks. Talking to friends today, and we live very far from the scene, but everyone's feeling nervous and twitchy and unsafe and fearful. (Hugs you) Glad to see you've resisted the cray-cray.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 8:58 pm

I just don't understand why there is any need for this sort of hostility and intragroup craziness. We're adults. There is nothing we cannot settle through reason and negotiation.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 9:03 pm

I know flamingpdog is very fond of Barb, and he might be reacting to her disappearance, and the loss of other commenters over the past months. Or he might have something going on in his own life that is leaving him feeling rattled right now. We're all asses at times.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 9:05 pm

If you're having anxiety, best to avoid the discussion altogether, then. I'm just a bit overwhelmed by life right now. Things seem exceptionally difficult, but we struggle on.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 9:08 pm

There's a description in there of an Ellis Islander fighting an octopus, armed with nothing but a small knife. I thought C_R_E_ature would have read it, or might want to.

I thought Grimble's book was thoroughly enjoyable, but had no idea he had ever written anything else.

va_real July 22, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Yeah, here I am thinking a UFO joyride around the galaxy might be kewl, & then that CREature has to go & stomp all over my escapism.

You DO realize that s/he could have posted some nice Hubble photos & I'd have been happy to pick him/her up at the nearest crop circle once I figured out how to borrow the flying saucer for a spin around the Milky Way. Sigh.

Still, I guess it's good to think these things through- I don't even have a Universal Driver's License, after all. Not much point in offering to abduct people if you're just gonna have to attempt a crash landing out in NM before you even get anywhere…

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Nope, though it's on my list now. Thanks!

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 9:13 pm

True, this is.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Sorry. I'm just a smartass at heart.

Your Tour of the Universe begins Here.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 9:21 pm

ZOMG. So not only could I look forward to a possible anal probe but there's a real risk of getting flattened worse 'n a pancake in New Fucking Mexico? What's wrong with the OLD one?

Doktor Zoom July 22, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers

starfanglednut July 22, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Life is difficult, but there is much beauty to it. Stay close to nature and the ones you love. I'm around if you need anything. :)

Doktor Zoom July 22, 2012 at 9:26 pm

…well, and angry sex. Never forget the angry sex.

UW8316154 July 22, 2012 at 11:10 pm

"We're libtards. There is nothing we cannot settle through reason and negotiation."

/fixed

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 9:30 pm

I don't know how to get him back! I wish I did.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Welcome. I hadn't even thought of them in so many years and then the lyric
What would you say to the cannibal question/would your answer be perfectly free?
sprang into my had & I had to find this song. Grace Slick has one helluva voice.

Fraudulently_Joe July 22, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Well, V57 and Shorts*3 had both been around for a while, you don't suppose…?

Okay, my new pet theory is that V57 and Shorts have always been the same person, in some sort of elaborate put on -a "long con", if you will- whereby he/she/it posed as two distinct personae with significantly different posting styles and personalities, with the endgame having always been a bout of aggressive, harrassy trolling against some random member of our circle here.

It doesn't make it any less reprehnsible, but you have to admire the commitment it takes to do something like that. It's seriously taking aggressive, cyberstalkery harassment to the the next level, really.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Thanks, love.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 9:37 pm

No, not yet.

-consults tomorrow's menu-

Hmmm. "Long Pig". Sounds tasty!

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Also known as "Long Beef" in some places.

Or so I'm told.

Doktor Zoom July 22, 2012 at 9:45 pm

It's the Maru of cephalopods!

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 9:46 pm

You know an awful lot about Cannibalism.

Any of your neighbors go missing lately?

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 9:52 pm

In an earlier incarnation, I shared a name with Maru-chan!

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Thanks Dok – Maru! is one fun cat.
I'd like to see Tunch try that.

Designer_Rants July 22, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Did he quit or did he get fired? If he quit hopefully he decides to come back soon. If fired, we need to write management and ask for a reinstatement.

We all make mistakes sometimes. I think we should be friends. We're libtards for crissakes.

Doktor Zoom July 22, 2012 at 9:59 pm

See also Pale Blue Dot (and of course, "Powers of Ten")

va_real July 22, 2012 at 10:23 pm

You are an awesome CREature. That was way better than having to track down my own saucer & try & figure out how to fly it…

"She drove a Plymouth Satellite
Faster than the Speed of Light…" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AOKPTbZEyA

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Love both of them, thanks.

BTW, nice updated photo of Vlad and the family. The vanity plate is a nice touch.

va_real July 23, 2012 at 12:06 am

I liked the Pale Blue Dot & liked re-viewing POT. Thanks, Dok!

Doktor Zoom July 22, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Sadly, it is a relic of another time–during the 2 years that Vlad was off the road, some other Impala owner snagged the Idaho "VLAD" plate, and I now have plain vanilla tags. I could maybe do something like this, though.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Sock-puppetry sounds about right to me.

It's an awfully obsessive-compulsive activity, though and I think it's just sad.

va_real July 22, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Ever since Teotihuacan was rumored to be the future site of a Wal-Mart, Mexico is no longer considered to be a good landing spot for UFO's. Don't ask me how I know- just trust me on this.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 10:31 pm

That for real? I'm astounded that someone else had that idea!

Well, HELL yes, you should do that!
Also, Tamperproof screws.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 10:34 pm

He quit. And I don't have any contact information for him. I miss him already, dammit.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 10:38 pm

At your service.

Yay, Planet Claire where no one has a head!

I used to like those aliens, though until they Ate my Buick.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 10:41 pm

For some reason this reminds me of a story told by a friend of mine who was teaching English in Asia. She walked into her classroom one day to hear one of her students say to another, "You wanna talk about me, you don't talk BEHIND my back, OK? You talk IN FRONT of my back."

I'm gonna lie down now, OK? Just till I feel a little better.

Chet Kincaid July 22, 2012 at 10:42 pm

I don't really care for him. A while ago, he attacked me when I was trying to have a serious discussion, so I told him to fuck off and stop reading my comments. He seems to feel the need to mention periodically that he doesn't always agree with what I have to say, as if that isn't true of any two people. I give him up fists and compliments when he is funny, otherwise having no beef. But he said some shit today he needed to be called on.

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Smeg!

Aliens are just here for the BBQ.

va_real July 22, 2012 at 11:47 pm

Somehow it worries me that there are folks cheating & still failing to pass the Astro-Navigation exam. If I couldn't pass while cheating, I'd have to question my luck.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 10:43 pm

CREature? Do you know EVERYthing?

Doktor Zoom July 22, 2012 at 11:39 pm

lol–by "snagged" I meant they registered for them at the DOT while my registration was lapsed. The (expired) physical plates, I still have.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 10:45 pm

CRE!

smokefilledroom-owl July 23, 2012 at 3:11 am

Why won't you dance with me?

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 10:46 pm

He *would* say that, wouldn't he?

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Well, there are Known Knowns, and Known Unknowns….

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 10:58 pm

That's funny. Go and feel better now.

va_real July 22, 2012 at 11:41 pm

Please feel better soon, honeychile.

It's been a strange weekend, but next week should be better, right?

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 10:59 pm

(Curls up on floor, cups chin in hands) Tell me Everything.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 11:00 pm

(Hugs the CREature most fondly)

UW8316154 July 22, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Firesign Theatre? I think I'm in love…..

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Wouldja mix me a strong drink? I really need one right now.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 11:14 pm

You forgot the angry sex.

Chichikovovich July 23, 2012 at 4:17 am

"We're libtards. There is nothing we can't fuck up through reason and negotiation"

/fixed

A message from Chichikov's super-ego:
[Because of heightened levels of paranoia and aggression on the board, I feel I need to state explicitly that that is 100% snark. It is not actually something I believe.]

C_R_Eature July 22, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Why, thanks. We're all Bozos on this bus.

anniegetyerfun July 22, 2012 at 11:26 pm

I THINK so, but then, this behavior is weird, even for him.

va_real July 23, 2012 at 12:42 am

I'm still pretty new here (although I've lurked in a desultory way for longtime), but doesn't it seem likely that s&p = gopherit?

UW8316154 July 22, 2012 at 11:26 pm

One nice, refreshing G&T for you, my dear, coming right up!

anniegetyerfun July 22, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Well, shortsshortsshorts/shortsandpants also had a blog that Wonkette would occasionally link to. So he was really more of a celeb than a mere commenter like most of us.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 2:13 am

(Hugs UW) In the end, it's far more important to be happy and healthy than "funny." It's no consolation to know that everyone died laughing at your latest flash of wit if you died inside giving it to them. I'm glad you're not struggling so much any more. And from someone who has struggled with the same demons — being drunk/high/stoned often makes you think you're a fuck of a lot funnier than anyone ELSE finds you. Or at least so my friends tell me now that I'm mostly sober and healthy. If I'd realized back then that they found me so thumpingly unfunny and tragic, I wouldn't have hit the bottle/drogas quite so hard.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Bless your boots, my child. (Hugs UW)

UW8316154 July 22, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Make-up sex might make alot more sense given everything that's gone on around here this weekend.

MittBorg July 22, 2012 at 11:40 pm

(Sigh) I'm grateful that we have a C_R_E_ature who delights us with beautiful things for eye and ear.

HistoriCat July 23, 2012 at 12:35 am

With this many people involved it sounds more like a make-up orgy. What's the etiquette for angry, make-up sex orgies?

va_real July 22, 2012 at 11:55 pm

Thanks for rejecting the crash landing in NM desert scenario so that I don't have to do so now…

HistoriCat July 23, 2012 at 12:18 am

I note with interest that you did not actually answer the question.

BerkeleyBear July 23, 2012 at 12:25 am

And with more links, it seems her last straw was an ongoing issue with extemporaneous that boils down to him needling her about various things (whether she has some special pull with the editors, for one, and a pretty clear mistake in a post for another) and her, when her patience gives out, posting the comment equivalent of a shotgun blast. I've seen a couple of flareups of it, but going nuclear is new.

Doktor Zoom July 23, 2012 at 12:42 am

Bring condoms and boxing gloves.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:17 am

Lots of lube.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 23, 2012 at 4:07 am

Rubber all around.

Gopherit July 23, 2012 at 12:57 am

Come to the chat, ma'am. At your convenience

Gopherit July 23, 2012 at 1:02 am

Well, owl has an opinion and was banned and Barb deleted….and was always awful. So eat a bag of dicks.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:18 am

I've been thinking that but hadn't wanted to say it. I just got a nasty fuckyou from that character, so we'll see, I guess.

va_real July 23, 2012 at 1:26 am

Hopefully, we WON'T see, if you catch my drift. Just consider the source, as they say.

I hope you had a lil' cat nap & are feeling better now?

va_real July 23, 2012 at 1:30 am

Yes, OCD & as 'sezme' mentions below, over-invested in their online identities.

Most of us are trying- with varying degrees of success- to add something to this community- I don't really understand the desire to subtract from it.

Fraudulently_Joe July 23, 2012 at 6:36 am

Sock puppetry is one thing, but multi-year deep cover sock-puppetry another entirely. I'm just saying, if true, it would be mighty impressive.

Also, whenever anyone flames out in an ass-tastic way, I hereby will now refer to that user as "having been V57 all along".

I will cut Flamingpdog a break, though: he can be Neilist.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:35 am

It's amazing the kind of questions one gets asked, these days.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:38 am

S/he/it sure is. I suspect it's a benevolent alien life-form stranded on this planet and desperate to get out. Poor thing.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:52 am

It is my understanding that owls chose to leave. Had he been banned, you would be able to log in to IntenseDebate and his av and account would be replaced by the words "Deleted" and a string of digits. Since they both show up there, it ought to be self-evident that Owls has not been banned.

As for whether Barb is, or was, awful, that is a matter of opinion, and opinions are like arseholes: everybody has one and everybody thinks theirs smells like a rose.

Since you couldn't offer a single factual rebuttal, you offer me a bag of dicks to eat. I invite you to precede me in the eating and offer you an additional bag, lightly salted and well-sprinkled with rodent poison, for the likes of you.

I don't like liars, hypocrites, and cowards. You choose to tell me lies that I can disprove with less than five minutes of searching. As for your bravery, it appeared to be most evident in the lack thereof, since I can't recall you even breathing a negative *breath* in Barb's direction until she left. Now that she's not here, you seem awfully brave. I'm not impressed.

Finally, it would give me great pleasure if you would fuck yourself into death by snu-snu.

C_R_Eature July 23, 2012 at 6:21 am

Get hold of yourself. There's real problems out there. Stop busting peoples balls, insulting commenters who can't respond, perpetuating rumors and wasting our time.
Life's too short.

And also: you're not funny.

AbandonHope July 23, 2012 at 9:45 am

For the love of… you know, I've done my best to be civil, and let dipshits be dipshits, but I've had it.

Jesus, you little fucktard. Shut the fuck up, because actual adults are talking here. You have the class of Sarah Palin, the paranoia of Michele Bachmann, and the self-awareness of Mitt Romney. Nobody but nobody wants to hear you piss, moan and whine about how you, or Owls, or any other fucking troll is being oppressed, so kindly fuck off and die and stop polluting one of the better websites here with your bile. You have a problem with who may or may not have been banned or censored or whatever, feel free to go off and start your own snark blog.

What clever little retort are you going to come up with now, huh? "Eat a bag of dicks?" Some jibe at my mother, perhaps? Or maybe "I know you are but what am I" would be appropriate for your limited intelligence. I suggest running as a Tea Party candidate, because the level of DURRRRR there is probably right up your alley. Fucking dipshit sociopath.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:54 am

Eat shit and live long, so you can taste it on your breath every day. You're a raging asshole and a coward, to boot.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 2:07 am

It's hard to nap with cats around. They seem to think it's THEIR bed, and I shouldn't be so complainy about hanging off a corner of it. It's OK. I offered gopherit a bag of heavily poisoned yet lightly salted rat dicks for nomming. Always makes me feel better when I make a generous gesture.

va_real July 23, 2012 at 2:13 am

That was generous, indeed- those rat dicks are not all that easy to harvest…

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 2:16 am

Also too, only think how considerate I was in ensuring that they were not heavily salted! His arteries should thank me.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 2:20 am

The Twitter account of shortsandpants claims to be linked to the blog of one shortsshortsshorts, but the supposed blog itself is just a placeholder. Nothing there.

va_real July 23, 2012 at 2:36 am

You are the soul of courtesy, MittBorg.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 2:51 am

That would be me. *preens*

BoatOfVelociraptors July 23, 2012 at 4:03 am

What can I say, I've had practice.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 23, 2012 at 4:13 am

*jump*
*Box Explodes*

C_R_Eature July 23, 2012 at 6:00 am

= Most Popular YouTube Video Ever

sezme July 23, 2012 at 9:00 am

Sx3 was a commenter here, then a (2 diamond) blogwhore, then became at some point (probably with the advent of IntenseDebate) S+P. imho, he was never particularly funny or interesting. If you look hard enough on the interwebs, you'll see that SSS continues to blog (though not at Sx3.com), and you'll also see that it's flat-out boring.

Anyway, this is not to dump on an individual as much as to offer my perspective as a longtime commenter and reader. Whatever, it's certainly distasteful (and really quite pointless!) when we start harrassing each other.

Hey, UWxxxxxx, glad you're feeling better. I think it's pretty true that our best commenters are often unemployed, or at least under-employed, if not depressed and drunk.

anniegetyerfun July 23, 2012 at 11:21 am

<a href="http://wonkette.com/407725/italian-pm-fake-humps-meter-maid-for-laughshttp://wonkette.com/407725/italian-pm-fake-humps-… />Be that as it may, it USED to be a blog with content and stuff.

AbandonHope July 23, 2012 at 9:34 am

You get enough stress in your life, and anybody's bound to go nuclear.

Extemporanus July 23, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Hey friend…

I know you were just trying to suss out what the hell was going on and meant no harm, but pretty much everything you said was pretty much completely off-base or incorrect.

[Earlier, I promised to provide links clearly correcting your misstatements about me -- they were based on conflation and spin, not fact, and were infuriatingly not unique. However, for the sake of commenter comity, I will once again hold my tongue. Have a good one, BB -- I ain't mad at ya.]

AbandonHope July 23, 2012 at 9:56 am

Wait, you're not terrified and humbled by his suggestion that you fuck off? Well, gosh, now he's out of ammunition!

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 23, 2012 at 10:41 am

OH NO U DI'INT!

Mittborg, seriously. How will you ever deal with the powerful wit that can come up with a comeback like "Fuck off"? Truly this must be a trolling genius. Also, how does this asshole have more P than me?

weejee July 23, 2012 at 10:30 am

Dubbya for example?

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Most people don't *know* this.

AbandonHope July 23, 2012 at 10:46 am

He collects it in mason jars, to drink later.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I can't tell you how impressed I was by his wit and snark. No, really, I can't, even though I've tried.

As for the P, I am fisting you mightily in shame. Truly, assholes cannot be permitted more P than our very own BigDog. (Ahem)

va_real July 23, 2012 at 11:05 am

Very nice!

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 12:42 pm

(Hugs BoV)

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Chich, the cray-cray was limited to a very few people, who are all gone. I'm hoping the attackees come back, but we'll see.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I wanted to think about what you said before replying. The crux of the matter is that pdog said something that many people felt he needed to be called on. I can't possibly disagree with that.

I think all I'm asking for here is that everybody please withhold judgment until we hear from pdog, if we ever do. We don't know that he didn't have a friend or relative in that theater that night. He might just have been asking for our love and compassion, or even attention, and you're within your rights to say that it is not your job to provide that.

In all fairness, he can be pretty attackey sometimes. And he has attacked you before. I guess what I'm saying is, I understand all points of view here, and want to err on the side of compassion and forgiveness.

In my next life I'm coming back as Attila the Hun.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Thank you for the back story.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Deer wonkettz i am riting thes frm a sml vlg in Mars …

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I have *always* been nice, even to teabaggers. Oh, you mean the *other* kind of dodos.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Hey, Biff! (Hugs the Biff) I'm sure you've seen bobbert's and ChetKincaid's comments by now, summing up the situation. They said it best and most concisely.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:16 pm

SOOOOO-EEEEE!

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Can you think of someone *else* we can blame it on? HENNNNNNGGGHHH??

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 23, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Thanks Mittborg! That fist felt great I was looking at past comments, and whoever this is changed their name and avatar before becoming a total ballsack. I will be keeping my eye out to see if he changes back in order to comment again.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 2:00 pm

If I had known a little fist was all it would take to make you happy! No, thanks, you BigSkullF*ckingDog, for patrolling the territory. I like to think we're all protecting our little community here. (Hugs you)

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 23, 2012 at 2:15 pm

I went ahead and peed in all the corners. I hope nobody minds.

HistoriCat July 23, 2012 at 2:21 pm

In my next life I'm coming back as Attila the Hun.

Is that like a reservation? Can I put in a request for something creative and successful? I'm not picky – I'll take Leonardo da Vinci or Walt Disney or Madonna.

bobbert July 24, 2012 at 4:34 am

Yeah, right, you're coming back as Attila the Hun about as soon as I'm coming back as Pol Pot.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Hey, I'm too busy upfisting you to mind.

CapnRadio July 23, 2012 at 3:00 pm

*turns to camera*

NOT AGAIN!

*slaps forehead, falls on tuches*

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 3:15 pm

You can, but whether you *get* it or not, depends on your karma. Right now I'm thinkin' my karma is Supah-Brilliant, because I have been shat upon by the whole fucking planet for six decades, and I haven't shat back (mostly). Surely that entitles me to be Attila for ONE lousy lifetime?

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Just apply it to *them* before penetration, dear. Assuming you can see enough of "them" to figure out who you're fucking. Big ol' balls of orgy tend to be a bit more difficult.

Biff July 23, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Not yet, guess I'll do some digging. My own damn fault, for trying to have a life.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

No. It's OK to have a life. In fact, judging from this weekend's little explosion of verbal diarrhoea, it is ESSENTIAL to have a fucking life.

Some people forgot that, is all, and they joined together to harass Barb, and it all blew up in their faces, and Barb left. Details at the relevant points in this long and convoluted thread, but essentially, everything's already kinda calmed down. I will say that I was very upset that people who have commented at Wonketz for years should try to bring the whole site down because … what, their little fee-fees were hurt that THEY didn't get to buy it and turn it into some kinda wankfest? I dunno. Time to put that behind us and agree to protect our little haven and turn our snark OUTWARD upon the deserving.

Biff July 23, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Then that should be "ass-fucking" adult.

C_R_Eature July 23, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Actually, I've decided to stay. I like to help the humans.

C_R_Eature July 23, 2012 at 7:13 pm

So, when did you stop eating your neighbors?

C_R_Eature July 23, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Yeah, had I bothered to read that correctly…

I was tired. That's my story.

C_R_Eature July 23, 2012 at 7:14 pm

"Fourty-two."

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 7:29 pm

It's amazing how the ranks are thinning out, innit? Who knows WHERE they go?

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 7:30 pm

I can't tell you how irrationally happy this makes me.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 7:32 pm

You sod! (LOLz) That was priceless.

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 7:39 pm

(Hugs Teh Biff) Oh, geez, Biffster, when Dilaudid doesn't work, it's pretty damn serious, innit? Have you talked to the doc? What's up, dood? Infection or wut? Scar tissue? I had a bunch of scar tissue scissored off my knee last year. It was limiting mobility and causing some REAL pain.

Biff July 23, 2012 at 7:43 pm

It's my back. Been bad since 1975, it's why I am no longer employable. They put me out to pasture 5 years ago, but it took until now for things to go kaboom. I coulda gotten 5 more years into my retirement fund, the bastards!

MittBorg July 23, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Oh, noes. Poor you. Back pain is awful, too. Worthless doctors can't do shit for you. Do you have a good acupuncturist anywhere around? Because acupuncture has been shown to help. I usually take a muscle relaxant if I can find one. I just want to recommend those polymer heating bags that you can sling around the painful part. They're GREAT for long-lasting muscle-relaxing heat. (Pats Biff's back)

bobbert July 23, 2012 at 10:39 pm

You too, kiddo. As you may or may not recall, I nuked my Shave The Whales account in a snit over the new Editrix's Ruelz. (That is, I happened to be pretty drunk that night). I lurked for almost a week before concluding that I had, shall we say, overreacted, and made a new account.

Tundra Grifter July 24, 2012 at 11:20 am

Barb:

Welcome back! It just isn't the same without you.

I know your p-ness will be bigger than mine by this afternoon. But, this morning, I don't even have to be jealous!

And to that potty-mouth Wonketter who left me a Mean Girls post [deleted] – you must be a South Pole elf.

Barb_ July 23, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Life is hard enough without unneeded conflict.
I recall "Shave the Wales" How do you come up with such clever names?

bobbert July 24, 2012 at 4:29 am

Where the hell was I during this comment stream? Oh, replacing the fucking laminate flooring downstairs. Nevermind.

Kind of sorry I missed it, but it seems like y'all got along just fine.

Are we better now?

C_R_Eature July 24, 2012 at 5:25 am

I'm still looking.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Who's "WE," white man?

That'll teach you to go replace laminate flooring when there is a Wonketz.

Fraudulently_Joe July 24, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Tony the Tiger, Wonkette troll emeritus from the Good Old Days before I started actually posting. (If memory serves, he was banhammered just about a month before I started posting comments).

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:40 pm

(Adjusts clothing with offended dignity) A person can *always* hope. It gives one something to *aim* for.

Er … strike that last sentence.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Extra virtual upfisties for this comment.

An entire ring of powerful men protected the rapist of children. Who knows how many people are walking around scarred because of those rotten bastards. Anything that diminishes them in any way is some small payment to all those kids who were brutally tormented by these horrible, horrible people.

MittBorg July 24, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Thanks, Joe.

MittBorg July 25, 2012 at 3:06 am

That makes me very sad. I was hoping against hope that this would all blow over and we would keep some of our oldest and wittiest commenters and mend any rifts. Thanks for letting me know, sweetie.

redarmyzombie July 25, 2012 at 3:24 am

Me too. I've always loved the community here at Wonkette, and to see something like this…well, as much as it sucks, it happens. I've had friends, online and real life, where shit hit the fan and I no longer have contact with them. It's a sad fact, but it's probably best not to dwell on it.

Well, at least we have Barb and Extemporaneous with us, and *hopefully* Pdog will come to his senses.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: