Kathryn Jean Lopez, better known by her gang moniker, K-Lo, is a pill. She is unpleasant and obsequiously pious and constantly telling all other American Catholics how they’re doing Catholicism wrong by actually following the edicts of Vatican II (which said Catholics should follow the dictates of their own consciences). She moans a lot about how unfair and unconstitutional it is to tell the Church they are not in fact in charge of their employees’ personal lives if the Church is not in fact paying the bill. She calls this an attack on religious liberty, and logically and persuasively and not at all histrionically explains that by classifying birth control as “preventative medicine,” the government has now “classified fertility as a disease.” In an earlier and much-missed American epoch, she would have been Goody Lopez, calling in the witch-burners on Goody Greensmith. But now? With her latest musings for NRO — of which she is the editor — we just feel sort of deflated and sad for her. Why are people so obsessed with sex? she asks her interviewee, over and over in slightly differing forms. What’s the big freaking deal? Oh, K-Lo.
There are several pages of K-Lo yowling along with her interviewer about how sex is terrible for women, and what’s the deal with food and sex anyway, and how can we get college students and feminists to stop being such terrible sluts? And it puts the lie to everything she has previously claimed about the GOP’s War on Women really being an Obama attack on religious liberty, because she is quite, quite clear: It is not about the Church. It is about women having filthy, disgusting, premarital sex, and we need to get back to the ’50s, when women were shamed. She thinks women who have sex are victims of the sexual revolution, and all her previous caterwauls about the Church’s “religious liberty” to deny their employees the Pill even if the Church is not paying for it are, simply, exposed. It’s not the Church’s religious liberty. It’s K-Lo being squicked out by the joys of a throbbing, juicy cock. And since K-Lo doesn’t like sex, well, why do you insist on being a whore?
So, that is not funny! It is sad! But we think if K-Lo doesn’t like cock, maybe she could be try eating some bush instead? And then she could shut the fuck up when the rest of us are doing #annromneysdancinghorse.