HOW OUR BRIGHTEST MINDS OPERATE  3:02 pm July 20, 2012

Oh, Right, Remember When Michele Bachmann Was Researching Her Muslim Infiltration Letter on the Airplane?

by Jim Newell

Your Wonkette is so good at capitalizing on its comparative advantages during major news events that, umm… it’s taken us four days to remember that we had a post about someone in May who sat next to Michele Bachmann on a plane, while she was reading a dumb book about Muslim infiltration of the government. Who knew she would act on that? (Everybody.) Let’s call it a re-scoop and give ourselves some Pulitzers and filet mignon.

Thanks to this fourth commenter from a Minnesota Public Radio article for reminding us of what was on our website! We were there, man, meaning we took some screen-grabs of a lady’s tweets and made jokes. But these forgotten tweets show that Bachmann’s letter demanding an investigation of Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin’s ties to the Muslim Brotherhood — she had a father who had an uncle with a father who knew a guy and the father and the uncle knew the person associated with the Muslim Brotherhood, decades ago — were in fact based on some nutter book she read on an airplane.

Research werks!

 
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{ 136 comments }

actor212 July 20, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Look, Ginger, even God takes a little time off. I mean, just look at the last article and Gohmert all butthurt because God needed a snooze last night!

Chichikovovich July 20, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Well, yeah, but when they talk about the instruction "Thou shalt have no gods before Me", that's not God talking, "Me" is Allah! And Allah is like a completely different guy so that's the opposite of the real commandment because it's saying take Allah before God!!!!! Allah before God!!!!!!

Yep, they worship a different guy, Allah. Just like the Germans worship a totally different guy "Gott" and, and, the French worship "Le Dieu" I mean: who is that?, and the Finns "Jumala",….

America is God's last hope, people!!

emmelemm July 20, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Wait wait wait… where's this Jumala coming from?

I thought I knew a lot about Finnish mythology.

Chichikovovich July 20, 2012 at 3:59 pm

In early Suomi mythology, Jamala was the god of a very spicy rice and tomato dish, a mixture, usually with chicken, sausage, or shrimp.But I guess He got a promotion.—

Chet Kincaid July 20, 2012 at 4:38 pm

A rare Chichi misstep! Don't we mean "Jambalaya"?

actor212 July 23, 2012 at 9:46 am

It's basically a generic name for the Finnish version of Norse mythology– as opposed to the Kaleva, if I recall correctly (my dad used Jumala a lot, but more in the scatlogical phraseology).

Jumo (also Juma, Jumal, Inmar, Jen, Num, and Jomali around the northeastern region of Europe) is a generic concept of god (small s) and is borrowed from the Baltic language term Jumis.

nounverb911 July 20, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Did Michele ever get to part in the book where it says the Ten Commandments are Sharia law too, also?

ChernobylSoup July 20, 2012 at 3:06 pm

In light of what's happened today, it's hard to get too up in arms about some crazy congressperson who incites fear, hate, and anger at those different from us.

Wait.

OneYieldRegular July 20, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Only Louis Gohmert's God knows where we'd be now if Michele had been reading a book about Roswell.

nounverb911 July 20, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Why isn't Bachmannn on the "No-Fly" list?

actor212 July 20, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Doesn't cover brooms

emmelemm July 20, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Zing! I like it.

MittBorg July 20, 2012 at 3:07 pm

She's now going all-out on attacking Keith Ellison "for having ties to CAIR and the Muslim Brotherhood." I think it might be curtains for Mishmash.

nounverb911 July 20, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Depends, is her district bat-shit crazy too?

actor212 July 20, 2012 at 3:13 pm
va_real July 20, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Even if they don't vote for her, she'll git werk on teevee.

Oblios_Cap July 20, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Wait – According to that site, Rmoney hasn't sewn up the GOP nomination yet. That's funny.

actor212 July 20, 2012 at 3:21 pm

It does. See the yellow line?

sullivanst July 20, 2012 at 3:24 pm

" In 2010, despite spending $13.6 million, she won reelection with just 53 percent — a relatively weak performance for a Republican incumbent who spent that much money in a great Republican year."

And redistricting made her district lean less Republican (plus excluded her house from her district – ha! ha!)

Her Presidential campaign may have attracted the attention of nationwide wingnuts, which is great for the coffers, but it also highlighted her crazy, which I'm not sure is so helpful for garnering votes from the St Paul 'burbs.

weejee July 20, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I think in She1ey's district there are limits to how batshitty nutzo she can be. In Louie Ghomert's district, there are not likely any limits on how much crazy he can roll-out and then pay the price on election day ('ceptin' Louie sayin' Jebus told him the the EPA and ACLU were the best creations of the human spirit evah).

Chichikovovich July 20, 2012 at 3:48 pm

If he said that about the EPA and the ACLU, his constituents would just assume that he had been praying in tongues.

MittBorg July 20, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Not so much anymore. Redistricting moved some of the nutbags out of her district and brought in some of the sane, causing her to announce last year that she would not run for re-election. However, since she's obviously unemployable in any capacity, and good at pulling money out of the pockets of WingNuttia, she's changed her mind about running.

Chet Kincaid July 20, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Linkies?

actor212 July 20, 2012 at 3:34 pm
MittBorg July 20, 2012 at 4:52 pm
Oblios_Cap July 20, 2012 at 3:08 pm

She really didn't want to talk much"

Some folks have all the luck!

arihaya July 20, 2012 at 3:08 pm

not post about this? Romney moneybag handler is a rapist, it's turns out.
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865559315/GOP-

mavenmaven July 20, 2012 at 3:12 pm

He's wealthy and of the right color, so its not rape, just "droit du seigneur".

bumfug July 20, 2012 at 3:09 pm

If Michele wanted to find the real threat to America she'd have been reading that damn SkyMall catalog.

sudsmckenzie July 20, 2012 at 3:19 pm

damnit.

docterry6973 July 20, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Hey, I still have my eye on a neat-o floating lawn chair.

RadioSlut July 20, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Our religious fanatics are better than their religious fanatics.

Crank_Tango July 20, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Coming up next, Horton hears a WHO? The World Health Organization's great vaccine conspiracy.

Oblios_Cap July 20, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Now, that's funny!

MittBorg July 20, 2012 at 4:32 pm

With 18,000 reported cases of whooping cough this year, we're in the midst of an epidemic return of childhood diseases. Preventable diseases that can kill children. The CDC is calling it the worst in half a century. And all this is caused by those morons who won't vaccinate their children. I am beyond disgusted with this.

Butch_Wagstaff July 20, 2012 at 5:25 pm

As whooping cough came roarin' back, Jenny McCarthy posed in Playboy as a way of saying: "I'm 40! I'm still sexy. Look at me! I'm still pretty, dammit! Please tell me I'm still pretty! PLEASE!"

MittBorg July 21, 2012 at 12:50 pm

I could strangle the rotten bitch. Stupid people, of whom there are many roaming this planet, listened to her and now their kids are dying. 18,000 kids sick. Who knows what effect this will have on their lung tissue, which is still developing, after all. The ones that recover, I mean. Fucking useless bitch.

viennawoods13 July 20, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Yep. Woman I know with children same age as me, when they were little, saying she didn't need to vaccinate her (home-schooled, natch) kids because the diseases were no longer a problem. Yes, so me getting my kids vaccinated made her kids safe. Right.

MittBorg July 21, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Yeah, except her *refusing* to vaccinate her kids puts YOUR kids at risk because an 85-95% immunization rate is required to confer the necessary herd immunity. I swear, these useless shits infuriate me. They are willing to bet on an untested strategy with THEIR CHILDREN'S LIVES. I can gamble on whatever I want with my own body and my own life, but I would not be so arrogant as to risk my child's life on a guess. UGH.

WhiteyMcFlyover July 20, 2012 at 3:10 pm

This is why Wonkette is my only source for news! She started the crazies and I thought to myself, "Old news!"

Larry McAwful July 20, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Flakes on a plane..

Chill_Bill July 20, 2012 at 3:19 pm

"I'm sick and tired of these motherfuckin' flakes on this motherfuckin' plane!"

actor212 July 20, 2012 at 3:22 pm

This is a thing of beauty.

YouBetcha July 20, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Bitch, please. We know you put that dustjacket over a copy of that Fifty Shades garbage. Don't lie.

Terry July 20, 2012 at 3:13 pm

No, she was actually reading this book: http://www.amazon.com/My-Husband-Is-Gay-Survival/

SorosBot July 20, 2012 at 3:33 pm
HoytClagwell July 20, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I have a rule of thumb regarding articles found on the web: if the article is written in a 'list' format, or if the title follows the pattern "The [number] Most/Least [Adjective] [Noun]" — the piece is absolutely not worth reading.

Cracked.com is the only exception I've found to this rule.

RadioSlut July 20, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Or Fifty Shades of Gay.

AbandonHope July 20, 2012 at 4:02 pm

I hadn't realized Marcus had put out an autobiography.

MittBorg July 20, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Girl? Was that you on the plane next to BubbleheadMann?

Goonemeritus July 20, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Wonkette the first draft of history, now with 20% more snark.

Edit— I do worry if historian use the Wonkette as a Prima facie source in the future they may get a distorted view on the amount of Buttseks common in the colonies.

actor212 July 20, 2012 at 3:22 pm

We do tend to underplay it because it's such a normal part of our lives.

widestanceromance July 20, 2012 at 3:31 pm

And just what were all of "them" these people talked about so much?

Oblios_Cap July 20, 2012 at 3:11 pm

LT. GEN. WILLIAM "JERRY" BOYKIN. Now where do I know that name from?

weejee July 20, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Didn't he change his name from Boinking? Maybe check on the Bristol Realz TeeVee.

Oblios_Cap July 20, 2012 at 3:25 pm

The book was written by a Who's Who of crazies.

Hammiepants July 20, 2012 at 3:12 pm

When Walnuts and The Boner call you out on your shithouse rat brand of craziness, the end is probably nigh.

iburl July 20, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Obviously "Penny" is a spy. Her picture has been airbrushed and the name "Penny" is meant as a slur against capitalism. She is obviously part of a UN/Soros conspiracy to take away our guns and replace our nativity scenes and 10 commandments in our Christian courtrooms with Arab flying carpets and magic genies and other such monuments to Sharia law. Wake up SHEEPLES!!

Oblios_Cap July 20, 2012 at 3:21 pm

I'll be right there. As soon as I finish my Hardee's burger and drink the rest of this Big Gulp. Now where did I put that HoverRound?

kittensdontlie July 20, 2012 at 3:57 pm

I see a double agent in this' Penny', an understatement for a no-good rotten pile of Romney-money spying on MB. Let others seem crazier, whereby you appear saner. Also, I know for a fact R-money takes regular vacations in the Caymans and the Swiss countryside.

Schmannnity July 20, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I can't wait until she starts reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

BaldarTFlagass July 20, 2012 at 3:25 pm

I'm sure she will identify heavily with Nurse Ratched.

Schmannnity July 20, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Ben Nighthorse Campbell as Chief.

MittBorg July 20, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Is he tall enough?

AbandonHope July 20, 2012 at 4:06 pm

You know, as an aside, I once dated somebody who really did empathize with Nurse Ratched. She also, God's-honest truth, thought that Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction was misunderstood and was the real victim in that movie. I am sometimes amazed I escaped from that relationship in one piece.

MittBorg July 20, 2012 at 4:47 pm

I think I just understood your Net nym. Nom.

Butch_Wagstaff July 20, 2012 at 5:37 pm

I take it that no bunnies were harmed?

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 20, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Read it? She lives it.

johnnyzhivago July 20, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I hope she doesn't start reading anything about those filthy Belgians.

iburl July 20, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Like Belgium is a real place… good one.

BaldarTFlagass July 20, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Otherwise known as the Flems?

actor212 July 20, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Fat Belgian bastards…

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 20, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Let's not call them anything, let's just ignore them.

sullivanst July 20, 2012 at 3:27 pm

She already has a Heart of Darkness.

SayItWithWookies July 20, 2012 at 3:14 pm

One day that napkin Michele was taking notes on will be a historic document — just like the napkin the Laffer Curve was described on. Or the napkins Michele puts in her ears to keep the ACLU from melting her brain.

sudsmckenzie July 20, 2012 at 3:15 pm

She could see conspiracies in "Sky-Mall".

Joshua Norton July 20, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Leave it to the liberal press to get all upset before all the facts are swept under the rug.

SorosBot July 20, 2012 at 3:16 pm

So Michele just believes anything she reads in a book? Someone should lend her a copy of Lord of the Rings so she can turn her attention to the more productive end of protecting the US from orcs then.

Chill_Bill July 20, 2012 at 3:21 pm

She endorsed Mitt Romney after she read The Book of Mormon.

MissTaken July 20, 2012 at 3:23 pm

And then she endorsed Newt Gingrich after she read Goodnight Moon.

Chill_Bill July 20, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Breakfast at Tiffany's (borrowed it from Marcus).

sullivanst July 20, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Ran for President because of Funny Face.

Mittens Howell, III July 20, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Retroactive scoop!

anniegetyerfun July 20, 2012 at 3:17 pm

I actually tried to link to this the other day (and that nice Twitter lady totally responded to my Tweets, so I was in love), but when I Googled "Michele Bachmann plane reading Twitter" I got some really fucked up results.

Come to think of it, that must have been Bing.

emmelemm July 20, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Microsoft libel?

I'm confused.

anniegetyerfun July 20, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Yes, but I don't care. Bing sucks.

Chet Kincaid July 20, 2012 at 3:35 pm

If you know it was on Wonkette, it's quicker to use the search box on the home page.

anniegetyerfun July 20, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Yeah, I totally didn't remember that it was on here.

MittBorg July 20, 2012 at 4:48 pm

@uncucumbered?

Limeylizzie July 20, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Gosh, I wonder which very smart Wonkette commentator was first to send a tip regarding this?

BaldarTFlagass July 20, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Going fishing today, Liz.?

OneYieldRegular July 20, 2012 at 3:36 pm

YOU LI…meylizzie.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 20, 2012 at 3:57 pm

We were drunk and/or stoned?

AbandonHope July 20, 2012 at 4:01 pm

All of them, Katie?

Oh crap, my Meme Processor is busted. Hang on, gotta reboot it…

BaldarTFlagass July 20, 2012 at 3:18 pm

What sort of day was it? A day like all days, filled with those events that alter and illuminate our times… and you are there.

sbj1964 July 20, 2012 at 3:19 pm

What state does she represent the state of psycho? Wow,people there must be pretty stupid if this is who they elect to congress.I'm going to just take a stab at this,my guess is Kansas?

smokefilledroommate July 20, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Sounds like she's going to start looking under chairs and in utility closets for Muslim infiltrators.

actor212 July 20, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Those dust bunnies do look like scraggly beards.

va_real July 20, 2012 at 3:29 pm

And she's finding them already.

MissTaken July 20, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Please keep Miche1e the fuck away from Hunger Games before she thinks it would be fun to play.

SorosBot July 20, 2012 at 3:37 pm

What do you think she's doing with all those foster children?

Biel_ze_Bubba July 20, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Why … wouldn't you want to make her play it?

You could wait until you saw the whites of her eyes … and still nail her from 200 yards.

elburritodeluxe July 20, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Research done! Now to collect assloads of money from stupid people.

Tundra Grifter July 20, 2012 at 3:56 pm

You got that right! Her campaign is sitting on sacks of money and she begs for more, pointing out the potential wealth of her opponent. She's outspending that dude, of course, but according to the financial website she is raking in money like a Vegas casino.

At least one not owned and operated by Donald Chump, of course.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 20, 2012 at 3:22 pm

I'm still surprised that, unlike vaccination, Bachmann actually read something on this instead of just listening to the voices in her head.

SmutBoffin July 20, 2012 at 3:23 pm

I know a certain Tweeter user who won't be LOLing when the Mooslems come to make her wear a sack and force her to work in the suicide bomb factory/mosk.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 20, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Does anyone have the copy of the book Bachmann read to establish that Huma Abedin is Hillary's lesbian sex slave? Because I want to read that . . . or at least look at the pictures.

OneYieldRegular July 20, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Have you thumbed through Lynne Cheney's novels yet?

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 20, 2012 at 4:01 pm

This one? Why yes, yes I have.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 20, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I'll wait for the movie to come out. Kathleen Turner and Halle Berry would work.

Oblios_Cap July 20, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Are you sure Michele wasn't reading a Lynn Cheney novel? Was she breathing heavily and making funny noises? And was there a wet spot on the seat when she got up?

fuflans July 20, 2012 at 3:27 pm

this shit really isn't funny. this woman was a candidate for president.

i don't know whether to be more horrified by the source of her ideas or her mean-spirited, anti-democratic instincts.

but then again, the president, IS black.

MissTaken July 20, 2012 at 3:29 pm

I take comfort in knowing the primary process worked. It weeded out the crazy-assed, shit fer brains people and left the GOP nothing but an alien robot to nominate. As fucked up as it smells, the system worked this time.

freakishlywrong July 20, 2012 at 3:40 pm

POTUS may be blah, but her husband is gay. So there's that.

Tundra Grifter July 20, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Too bad she wasn't reading "Devil's Game: How the United States Helped Unleash Fundamentalist Islam (American Empire Project)" by Robert Dreyfuss. It is first rate.

The right wing nutz don't want to face the fact that the Muslin Brotherhood is largely a creation of Western governments.

I've previously mentioned "Fear, Inc." (available on the web). Also essential reading.

sullivanst July 20, 2012 at 3:35 pm

The fact that members of the Muslim Brotherhood turned to violence is almost entirely due to the CIA trained torturers that convinced them peaceful advocacy would get them nowhere. Does the name "Ayman Al Zawahiri" ring any bells?

Biel_ze_Bubba July 20, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Yeah, well, we fixed him, right? RIGHT??

AbandonHope July 20, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Yeah, but that only proves that the CIA was-is-will-be infiltrated by Muslim extremist time-travelers who went-will-go back in time to create the idea of Muslim extremism and thus complete the Grandfather Paradox.

We're through the looking glass here, people.

Oblios_Cap July 20, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Most of the problems facing Western governments seem to be those of their own making. Funny, that. After all the efforts they've made trying to bring civilization to the downtrodden, whether they wanted it or not.

pdiddycornchips July 20, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Most of my problems are of my own making too. Fortunately they can be solved by a combination of Makers Mark, ice and Vicodin

MittBorg July 20, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Thank you, TG. I foresee burning books for fuel this winter, since they'll be piled so high we won't be able to leave the house to scrounge for food.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 20, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Snake on a plane.

Rosie_Scenario July 20, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Flake on a plane. Also, too.

smitallica July 20, 2012 at 4:25 pm

I agree with Bachmann. The threat of sharia is so real, we need an amendment to the Constitution that specifically forbids the establishment of any sort of religious laws, ASAP!

Guppy July 20, 2012 at 4:50 pm

But Islam isn't really a religion!

ttommyunger July 20, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Stupid people use books to keep others from engaging them in conversation, thereby exposing their stupidity. I cannot believe Michele reads, period. OT : caught Michel Martin on NPR Wednesday interviewing Elain Chao about her amazing and meteoric rise from poor Chinese immigrant to Cabinet Member (Dubya). Michel fawned over her for fifteen minutes throwing her softballs about how smart and tough she was, never once mentioning that she was married to Yertle the Turtle Mitch (Fuckface) McConnell. Yeah, sucking the Senate Majority Leader's dick non-stop might be a good career move, ya think?

extreme_left July 20, 2012 at 7:02 pm

hey ..sucking a turtles dick takes skill, it's really hard to find..so I've heard.

ttommyunger July 20, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Ewwwwwww!

DahBoner July 20, 2012 at 6:07 pm

COCKTAIL NAPKIN LIBEL!!!

extreme_left July 20, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Bachmann reads? sounds faggy.

redarmyzombie July 21, 2012 at 7:03 am

Next, she'll think the Turner Diaries were a documentary…

Oblios_Cap July 20, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Oops. Damn!

Chichikovovich July 20, 2012 at 6:17 pm

No, man, that was the brilliance of it. I'm so misunderstood. But then many geniuses are….Jamala *is* the Finnish word for “God”. When I was asked “where did that come from?” I figured: I have no idea so I'll have to make up something preposterous. OK, say Jamala came from the Finnish flavor of Nordic mythology. I thought “OK, what's Jamala the God of” — and the sound-alike Jambalaya came to mind. Which is an extra-absurd choice because it's absolutely not the kind of food you'd expect to find in Finland 1000 years ago.Cheez, will my struggles never end?—

Chet Kincaid July 20, 2012 at 7:00 pm

A simple "Jamala (contracted over time from'Ja-em balaya' " would have saved it. This concludes the Joke Autopsy.

Chichikovovich July 20, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Easy for you to say – It's not 1AM where you are. But yeah, that's exactly what the joke needed.Damn.I'm too foggy. Bedtime.—

Chet Kincaid July 20, 2012 at 7:54 pm

It is very rare indeed that a Chichi composition leaves anything for improvement. Enjoy your Frenchy vacation!

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