Michigan Rep. Dave AgemaWhy let Michele Bachmann and Louie Gohmert have all the fun? And why keep the accusations of Muslim terrorism to lowly Hillary Clinton State Department deputies, when you could set your eyes on the real prize? And that is why a Republican National Committeeman from Michigan would like you to know that Barack Hussein Obama, pretender to the presidency of the United States of America, is a Muslim terrorist also too.

A couple months ago Michigan Republicans elevated the unsexable state Rep. Dave Agema to the position of Republican National Committeeman.

Among other things, Agema once tried to cut a program that helps orphans buy clothes. He also skipped a budget vote to go snow sheep hunting in Russia. Yes, you read that correctly, he went to Russia to hunt sheep.

But Agema is mainly known for hating Muslims. He once said Dearborn is infested with terrorist “sleeper cells” and another time apparently agreed to appear at a Terry Jones rally before backing out at the last minute. Thursday, Agema took his bigotry to 11 and told the subscription-only Gongwer News Service that President Obama, like most terrorists also, is a Muslim.

Asked whether being a Muslim is a bad thing, Mr. Agema said anyone can worship any religion he or she wants, but his issue is that Mr. Obama is claiming he is both Christian and a Muslim.

“Which is it? He can’t be both,” he said. “It’s disingenuous to say one time you’re a Christian and then say another time you’re a Muslim.”

We sure wish someone else in the entire universe was aware of Obama claiming to be a Muslim! Because that sounds like “news you can use!”

Mr. Agema said his other problem is with Mr. Obama saying Islam is a religion of peace.

“Not all Muslims are terrorists, but just about every terrorist is a Muslim,” he said. “I disagree that Islam is a religion of peace.”

Wow, hey, that’s fantastic. Pay no attention to Tim McVeigh or Carlos the Jackal or the KKK. And, dear Wonketeers, these are not the words of some backbench lawmaker or fringe nutter. Michigan Republicans elected Dave Agema to represent them on the RNC. He’s GOP elite.

All these other states may think they’re the most awful in all the land, but they can cold suck it. Iowa may have its weird candidates who join pretend governments and Arizona may have pro-rape/anti-Hawaiian birth certificate county sheriffs, but that’s penny-ante. A major party leader in Michigan just called Obama a Muslim and meant every word.

[Deadline Detroit]

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  • nounverb911

    O'Bama sounds Irish Catholic to me. (Unless his name was shortened from Obamawitz).

  • “Not all Muslims are terrorists, but just about every terrorist is a Muslim,”

    And not all Republicans are fucking idiots, but…

    • emmelemm

      Actually, would it not be:

      Not all fucking idiots are Republicans, but just about every Republican is a fucking idiot?

      • NellCote71

        May I remind you that the Texas GOP passed a resolution to ban critical thinking? Michigan is just putting concept into practice.

  • nounverb911

    Isn't Agema NSFW? Or am I thinking of something else that sounds the same?

    • Preferred Customer

      It can usually be cleared up with antibiotics.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      Agema sounds like an analog to Santorum.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Smegma libel!

    • SorosBot

      Well it made me think of (Freema) Agyeman; which is somewhat ironic, since she's half Arab Muslim, half African Christian, and all hot.

      Sadly I don't believe she's done any NSFW work (well Torchwood has had bare breasts, but not hers).

  • In fairness, it was that most dangerous of creatures, a clever sheep

    • Schmannnity

      And big liars too.

    • elviouslyqueer
    • kittensdontlie

      The snow white sheep sure, but the mud colored ones are shiftless.

  • I guess the IRA is also Muslim?

    • nounverb911

      Just Rep. Peter King.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Maybe he's confusing Barry with Keith Ellison who is a Muslim, because, you know–same color and all that.

    • "They all look the same" -Rep Dave Agema (R-Michigan)*

      *This quote has been every bit as carefully verified as the things Agema said the president said, so we can basically all assume it's true.

  • noodlesalad

    Obama may be a Muslim, but Agema's got a much nicer looking Beard.

    • extreme_left

      .. and she looks really happy to be in the picture, seems that all those nights of going to sleep after self-servicing might now just start paying off.

  • Callyson

    “Not all Republicans are idiots and assholes, but just about every idiot and asshole is a Republican…I disagree that Republicanism is a political party of common sense and decency.”



  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Subscription-only news service? Isn't that Aaron Sorkin's The Newsroom?

  • Madfall

    Wow, I thought this particular Friday had descended to the furthest depths.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      …and then I read on Facebook just now that a friend suggested Romney as a better candidate "than the ni&&er".

      God dammit.

      • emmelemm

        "A friend"? Really?

        {raises eyebrow}

        ETA: And what I mean is, why is this person your friend? Not that I think you actually said it and you were doing the "I'm asking… for a friend" kind of thing.

        • KeepFnThatChicken

          I've always hated the use of "friend" as used in FB, for this very reason. He is a local acquaintance, akin to a FOAF-type characteristic.

          I think it's time to whip out the banhammer again. Between him and a Paultard high school classmate who psychotically ended a four-consecutive-post rampage with "I'll no longer cast my pearls before swine," I'm going to be a little lighter in my "friend" count.

          • Madfall

            That kind of bullshit is why I avoid facebook like the plague.

          • emmelemm

            Understood. But ditto on "I avoid Facebook like the plague".

          • Butch_Wagstaff

            Someone who I had been friends with IRL back in grade school (who I remembered fondly) sent a friend request to me on fb. I accepted. After so many days of posting & reposting something about Jesus or the Lord about 16 times daily (no, that' NOT an exaggeration–I kept count), I couldn't take it anymore.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            "I'll no longer cast my pearls before swine."

            The only appropriate response is "Snort!"

            Jagoffs like these is what the "unfriend" button is for.

  • Schmannnity

    "He also skipped a budget vote to go snow sheep hunting in Russia. Yes, you read that correctly, he went to Russia to hunt sheep."
    Maybe he's already dated all the sheep in the upper and lower peninsulas.

    • Is big lie. In Russia, sheep hunt YOU!

    • emmelemm

      Are American sheep not good for him? HEENNNNGHHHH?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He was following up on an email he got, about "Hot Russian Sheep looking for American men."

  • bumfug

    He could have saved a lot of money and just hunted Demon Sheep with Carly Fiorina right here in California.

  • Serolf_Divad

    "Gongwer News Service"

    Sounds pretty fucking terroristy to me…

  • coolhandnuke

    Can we add "hunting sheep in the snow" to the long Republican list of myopia?

    • proudgrampa

      Is that anything like "Polar Bears in a Blizzard?"

    • He also likes to beat a drum in search of a fugitive.

  • christianmuslin

    Obviously, Mr RNC from Michigan would have a problem with one being a Christisn Muslin!

  • ChernobylSoup

    Russian mail order sheep! Hello Kickstarter.

  • RadioSlut

    100,000 people in one night in Tokyo. Must have been Muslims.

    • bobbert

      Now, now, it can't be terror if we do it.

    • mcrummett

      Go, go, Godzilla!

  • AbandonHope

    Actually, Tim McVeigh and Carlos the Jackal and the KKK were all Muslims. Secretly. They're that good.

    • IonaTrailer

      Ditto that: Long John Silver, The White Whale, Clare Quilty, the Marquis de Sade, Cthulhu, Cruella de Ville, and Satan.

  • I would love to hear Derper Agema's closing arguments for impeaching the Kenyan usurper but has anyone notified this GOP rising star that Creeping Sharia has already sunk her transectual claws into him from the looks of it? so it's probably too late.

    • PubOption

      Is that Creeping Sharia in the photo? I thought she would wear a burka.

      • emmelemm

        Creeping Sharia would be a decent drag queen name.

    • eggsacklywright

      It was My Sharia back in the 80's. Big hair and all.

  • ShreditorsDesk

    Baraugh O'Bama?! That bluudy git is from bleedin Belfast !

  • He's Chruslim!

    • extreme_left

      Breakfast is the worse time in a Chruslim household with bacon being on the table but nobody can touch it, everybody just gets shitty.

  • Ugh, these people never let any facts dissuade them from having logorrhea.

  • Goonemeritus

    Seem to me he has a clear case of penis envy.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    This guy sounds like a hoot! It would be a great practical joke to MUSLIM have random people at restaurants or other public MUSLIM places he frequents to randomly insert the word "MUSLIM" into something they're saying or conversations nearby.

    Perhaps it would freak him out enough MUSLIM that he'd have a mental breakdown.

    • extreme_left

      .. he already did.

  • PeaceWithHonor

    Have we finally found the Higgs Bosun of crazy?

  • sbj1964

    Hello,My name is Peggy,you have reached the GOP We are idiot's call center.I'm going to have to put you on hold due to heavy call traffic.Please wait.

  • C_R_Eature
  • va_real

    He's on a Wild Sheep Chase…

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Murakami libel!

      • Goonemeritus

        I love Murukami!

        • va_real

          He is pretty damned awesome!

          • Goonemeritus

            Don’t read his book on running though it kills some of the mystery.

          • va_real

            That's actually one I wasn't planning to read. When people ask me if I run, I ask,"From what?"…

          • Goonemeritus

            I have read them all and that was the last work of his that I read. It turns out I had developed a picture in my head of what he was like and that book contradicts it. It’s not horrible I just can’t thank him for it.

          • va_real

            My favorite is still The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. In fact, that's one of my all-time favorites, & it's due for a re-read soon. My sweetie & I have been reading the Three Musketeers to each other, but we're almost done. I'm thinking WUBC will be next…

          • Goonemeritus

            Kafka on the Shore to me is the most romantic of his works it speaks to being incomplete. But I love them all. My other favorites are Norwegian Wood and the Hard Boiled Detective.

            Edit- BTW if you have never read Raymond Chandler you might want to give it a go. Murakami is an obvious fan and even reuses the occasional plot device.

          • va_real

            Has been awhile since I've read Chandler- that's a good thought. I remember liking 'The Big Sleep' & 'Farewell My Lovely'- the other titles I don't really recall…

          • Lascauxcaveman

            I've been reading Wind Up Bird off an on for about a year. I pick it up wherever I left off last time, and always remember what's going on and what happened earlier in that rather long novel. Considering my internet-shattered attention span, this says something about Murakami's storytelling.

            And I keep thinking, I'd love to see David Lynch adapt it for TV.

  • PeaceWithHonor

    Have we finally found the Higgs Boson of crazy?

    • Chichikovovich

      Let's give him a run through a particle accelerator to find out.

    • Nostrildamus

      He appear to be married to the standard model.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        The clothing budget must be through the roof.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Carlos the Jackal is a Muslim! Well he has been since getting tossed in prison. All right, he wasn't actually a Muslim when he taking over airplanes and shooting French cops, but he's one now.

  • sharethegrief

    Jeff, you left Dick Cheney off of that list of home grown terrorists.

  • pdiddycornchips

    I think you got duped. That's obviously Daniel Tosh in an Anderson Cooper wig. I mean come on, didn't the Bongwater News source give it away?

  • DrunkIrishman

    Better watch out, Agema, or one of those scary Muslims just might fly a plane into your wife's massive forehead.

    • chicken_thief

      IT'S A FIVE-HEAD!!!!

  • BloviateMe

    It is nice that after that whole glasnost/perestroika thing took away their favorite enemy, the GOP seems to have a new clear favorite as their number one bogeyman. Congrats wing nuts, you have your security blankie back!

  • va_real

    Are the Muslims retroactively baptizing terrorists like Timothy McVeigh & Breitbart? If so, a few puzzle pieces just fell into place…

  • Is this a stupid country, or what?

    • mcrummett

      We're No. 1! USA, USA!

    • Barrelhse

      We're going to find out in November. I'm not sure I can handle it.

  • smashedinhat

    "I think the hardship is negligible." —State Rep. David Agema, supporting cutting out the clothing allowance for poor children without parents.

    Another Republican serving the public. Makes one proud it does!

  • DrunkIrishman

    Agema is that nasty white cheese that gets under an uncircumcised guy's foreskin, right?

    • widestanceromance

      Also that nasty white cheesey guy who. . .

    • smitallica

      You're thinking of sununu.

    • extreme_left

      That's an insult to foreskin cheese.

  • LettucePrey

    Obama also claimed that he serviced the entire USC football team, and that he wrote the screenplay to Glitter.

    Ooh, libel is fun!

  • He must have admitted to being a Muslim right around the same time he stated that he was born in Kenya.

  • Not all Muslims are terrorists, but just about every terrorist is a Muslim

    Keep in mind that when he's saying this, he's excluding all those people who firebomb GYN offices and murder doctors, as well as all those people who murdered black people for being black (and civil rights activists of various races, for being around black people). Presumably because he doesn't consider those things terrorism, as he sympathizes with their causes.

    • IceCreamEmpress

      And the IRA and the ETA and the Shining Path and the Zapatistas…I doubt he sympathizes with their causes, he's just as dumb as a sack of fucking hammers.

      • BerkeleyBear

        And the Fulong Gong, and the militia nuts, and the guys who went around beating up "ay-rabs" after 9/11 (mainly getting Hindus and Sikhs), and all those 70s Euro trash separatists/communists/anarchists who trained some of the current crazies, the Tutsis and Hutus, the Serbs and Croats, and just about both sides in every other psychotic little shitty dirty nationalistic shitstorm all over the globe. Terror is used in just about every conflict, and saying it has any tie to Islam is proof positive that Louie Gohmert is clinically brain dead.

  • CountryClubJihadi

    I'm so glad it's Ramadan, because he and Bachman have made me lose my appetite.

  • SorosBot

    “It’s disingenuous to say one time you’re a Christian and then say another time you’re a Muslim.”

    Yeah, because it's not like Christianity and Islam are almost exactly the same religion, with the only real difference being that one sees Jesus as god and the other as a great prophet.

  • Callyson

    "I think the hardship is negligible." —State Rep. David Agema, supporting cutting out the clothing allowance for poor children without parents

    Yeah? Let's see you live through a Michigan winter without winter clothing.


  • MissTaken

    Hunting sheep in the snow? When will this white on white crime end??

    • JustPixelz

      Have you seen his picture? He's white on white all by himself.

  • Callyson

    By the way, Captain Crunch also cast the deciding vote cutting State Disability Assistance for people who have gallantly struggled to live independently. They had been getting $269 a month. That's being slashed to $175.
    That one, by the way, was Gov. Rick Snyder's idea. Agema, who cast the deciding vote to kick the disabled, gallantly defended it, however, with the most powerful intellectual argument his airline pilot brain could make: They don't give them any money in Indiana.

    But *Obama* is the terrorist…

    • bibliotequetress

      Well, blow me. So much for the Beatitudes. Then again, self labeled christian people who consider christianity to be attained by membership rather than practice and belief probably don't give a rat's ass about the disabled, who are hogging all the good parking spots. "I am a christian because I hate muslims. And fuck the hungry and poor!"

      Thus sayeth the atheist. Go with dog, my children.

  • mavenmaven

    And, apparently Obama read Thor comic books as a kid. So which is it? Muslim, Christian, Odinite?

  • When your interest in sheep takes you all the way to Russia, it's pretty clear you have more than hunting on your mind.

    • kittensdontlie

      Something like mutually beneficial relations of a bovinial nature….

    • extreme_left

      ..from Russia with love?

  • You know, we really have to come up with a solution for the Muslim problem. And to keep Islam from coming back, we need to make sure it is a final solution.

  • SorosBot

    By the way, is there something in the air this week, or maybe an aftereffect of the just-ended heat wave, that's made the crazies get even dumber and louder than usual? Today it's just been one stupid bigoted statement after another.

    • CountryClubJihadi

      Mercury is in Retrogade. Seriously.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I think panic is setting in … they realize that Mitt ain't gonna release his tax returns, because "I'm running for president, for Pete's sake!" — and that they're stuck with him.

  • Yeah, why does Obama always get it both ways. He claims to be Christian, but does he fire bomb women's health clinics? He claims to be a Capitalist, but has he ever screwed a poor person out of a job? What is wrong with this loser.

  • YasserArraFeck

    Is "hunting sheep" some sort of 'Tard Ass-Bandit euphemism, like "carrying baggage"?

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      I can see how you could confuse "Hunting the Russian Sheep" with "Lifting your Luggage".

    • ChessieNefercat

      I saw a bumper sticker once that said "Wyoming, where men are men, and sheep are nervous"

  • JustPixelz

    "…go snow sheep hunting in Russia."

    I guess American sheep aren't good enough for him. Traitor!

  • sullivanst

    This Agema guy is giving me agita.

  • mcrummett

    What, did they run out of sheep in Michigan?

  • chicken_thief

    Every terrorist plane hijacking and crashing into a building happened on 9/11/01, but I bet Amega still thinks Bush kept us safe.

  • lochnessmonster

    Obama is a sad example of a Muslin with his drinking beer summits and smoking and all…Or is that to throw us off his real agenda?

  • WinterOuthouse

    “Not all Muslims are terrorists, but just about every terrorist is a Muslim,” he said. “I disagree that Islam is a religion of peace.”

    Not all rectangles are squares but all squares are rectangles! Teh math is hard.

  • KarenJ503

    So, which one in that picture above is Dave?

    • woahhhh! what have you done to earn those points???

  • Guppy

    What is this world coming to when a man who vacations in Russia climbs high in the GOP?

  • ttommyunger

    Oh, he hunts sheep all right, but he's wearing gum boots when he does; and yes, Agema is Russian for Smegma.

  • One man's hiking the Appalachian Trail is another man's hunting sheep in the snow.

  • TribecaMike

    I've seen that couple in the photo a thousand times in Lifetime Channel movies, and one of them always ends up being murdered by the other.

    • The most likely plan is for him to kill himself, then her.

      • ChessieNefercat

        I just got that!

  • I hate to bring up an inconvenient truth, but…if the standard for threats to the security and stability of the United States is familial ties to extremist thinking, as was the accusation in the case of Huma Abedin, the anecdotal evidence is that the biggest danger is…You People.

    Hear me out! In recent months, I have encountered a constant stream of chatter from the most progressive White Americans confirming that many people in their own immediate and extended families hold disturbing views calling into question the legitimacy and authority of our American institutions, branches of government and President. Most disturbing is a fixation on the ascendancy of one extreme position on arms and religion as the solution to our national problems.

    Now, I, as an African-American, can say that I have never received a communication from a black relative, or indeed any minority group member that I know, containing such frightening and dangerous ideas. And yet, nearly every presumably-liberal person of the lighter persuasion whom I have encountered on- or offline has a relative who forwarded them a rant on one of these topics just a few hours ago!

    This convinces me that the danger is very real. As a first step, and at the very least, I believe that any White American currently serving in our Federal Government should be vetted with extreme caution — and it would not be unreasonable to bar any further Caucasians from serving this country until such time as the threat can be adequately addressed, and/or they learn how to be an American.

    I call upon FEMA to take the necessary steps to quarantine this emerging threat to our national security. If the records from World War II have been digitized, simply search for the tags "Japs" and "internment" — the plans can be easily updated with our modern technology. As an African-American, I will sleep more soundly at night knowing that White People are in a place where they can no longer present a threat to me or my loved ones.

    • docterry6973

      I KNEW that we would all be in FEMA camps by Labor Day.

    • I upvoted this, but mainly because I'm always in favor of putting whitey in concentration camps.

    • i am white but i am also packing canadian citizenship.

      i claim immunity.

  • "Agema," eh? Sounds like equal parts putrid excretion and premature dementia.

  • Terry

    “Not all Muslims are terrorists, but just about every terrorist is a Muslim,” he said. “I disagree that Islam is a religion of peace.”

    Yeah, I do recall that Timothy McVeigh converted to Islam while in the Army. All those IRA bombers in London and Belfast had rolled up prayer rugs in their closets, too.

  • HateMachine

    I've certainly always thought he was.

  • Barrelhse

    Although stupidity is apparently highly contagious, it is not often enough fatal.

  • Pat_Pending

    Who's the fivehead standing next to Dave? His brain trust?

  • ChessieNefercat

    I am so embarrassed. I used to just be guilty of no more than living in a ho-hum, frumpy, dowdy, boring state (well, pretty in places at certain times of the year). Michigan = your Aunt Madge.

    But more and more it seems Michigan = your crazy Uncle Louie with the temper, and the busted zipper and the mistaken impression that he is a) intelligent, b) studly, and c) not a racist bigot at all, he just says it like it is!

    I'm sorry.

  • Veritas78

    I would not buy the picture frame that comes with this couple in it.

  • what IS it with these republican women and the crazy eyes? i mean really, that's exactly the bachmann gaze. and very nearly the same direction.

    i guess you really do need a picture in the attic to marry one of those bleached out tools.

  • I must have missed the time that Obama claimed to be a Muslim.

  • rickmaci

    “Not all pedophiles are priests, but just about every priest is a pedophile,”

    “Not all white men are bigots, but just about every bigot is a white man”

    “Not all Italians are gangsters, but just about every gangster is Italian”

    See how easy this is. It eliminates the need to have a functioning brain.

  • schvitzatura

    Typical itinerary for hunting the Kamchatka Snow Sheep. Price? Slightly over 12 large:

    Day 1.
    Arrival to Petropavlovsk. Meeting at the airport. Customs formalities. Driving to Esso village (approx. 7 hours). Accommodation at the hotel (Dbl) or if the weather is fine flight to the hunting camp.
    Day 2.
    Helicopter flight to the hunting area (1.3 hours). Overnight (tents, Dbl).
    Day 3 – 12.
    10 days pure hunt.
    Overnight (tents, Dbl).
    Day 13.
    Preparing for the departure. Flight to Esso village. Drive to Petropavlovsk. Overnight (hotel, Dbl).
    Day 14.
    Breakfast. Departure.

    Double-up accommodations, huh?

    • bobbert

      Oh, I'm sure they get hooked up with the snow pussy without necessarily leaving Petropavlovsk.

  • dopper0189

    Maybe they were those Demon Sheep from Carla Fiorina's ad? Hunting those would show him to be a tough guy!

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