World’s Best Mom Bristol Palin In Giggle Fit While Angel Baby Tripp Calls Her Homosexual Slur: UPDATED!

  mommy blogging

What could it be? What homosexual slur did perfect angel Tripp call his mama on the latest episode of “Bristol Palin: Life’s A Tripp,” which goddamnit we again forgot to watch? UPDATED BELOW!

“Faggot.” He called her a “faggot.” And while Bristol’s giggles are correctly seen as shock, not mirth, one does wonder where the baby picked up the word.

We don’t think it was from Bristol, who regularly uses the far classier “homosexual” when confronting homosexuals. (Your Editrix, by accident, happened just last night to be at the Sunset Boulevard fake cowboy bar where that delightful confrontation took place! It was terribly exciting except not really.)

We figure classy Gino for the perpetrator, but we’ll just assume it’s Grandma Sarah. She seems like the kind of person who wouldn’t call somebody a fag jokingly, for, say, ordering a glass of white wine, but rather would say “faggot” all spitty-like, and really really mean it.

 
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It would be irresponsible not to blame her right now.

IMPORTANT UPDATE! Thanks to eagle-eyed commenter “worrytron,” we now know: It was totally Willow.

UPDATE AGAIN! We thought we’d leave that previous spoof Facebook post up, because we were kind of lazy and didn’t really care, but here is the real, actual Facebook post of Willow calling people faggots. Journalism!

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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245 comments

      1. elviouslyqueer

        Wow. That's like reading a David Mamet play, only with more meth. Much, much more meth.

        1. worrytron

          I should note at this point that that is not a real screenshot. If only. But i think it captures the essence nicely….

      2. MittBorg

        ZOMG. So was that Daddy Todd commenting that last comment?>

        Because lemme tellya I swear like a motherfucker, but if that was my kid? They'd be sitting on a hemorrhoid cushion for a month after THAT outburst. That Willow has a mouth like some low-class truck-stop whore.

      3. Fare la Volpe

        This is the most beautiful thing I've ever read. Ever.

        "I want to make your face pregnant with my dick."
        "…say 1 more word I will hold you down and power fuck your shit wrinkle until it flips inside out."
        "I will fucking hollow out your dumbass brother and wear him like a suit of armor while I fuck you into pieces."

        I don't care if this is fake; every part of it is poetry. This has made my day / week / year / millennium.

      1. freakishlywrong

        Oh, I've got cable. It just is never tuned that bullshit. I'd watch Toddlers in Tiaras before I'd watch a Palin.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      I keep forgetting Brisdul even has a teevee show.

      Dearest Wonkette, would that you would stop reminding me.

    1. poorgradstudent

      Seriously, it could have happened. If the Palins aren't like the villains of a John Waters movie I don't know who is.

      Now I have this glorious image of Sarah Palin screaming, "Now we're the filthiest people alive!"

  1. Jus_Wonderin

    I'd teach him CUNT just for fun, but he probably knows that already from listening to his father.

  2. noodlesalad

    Put the kid to bed so these two girls can get it on, already. Isn't that what's happening here?

    PS – It's almost like single D-list celebrity teenagers make bad parents.

    1. 738838

      If they move to Massachusetts they could get married. Except for the incest bit. Otherwise such a happy couple.

      1. noodlesalad

        Is that one of the other Palins? I can't keep 'em straight. Neither can they, I suspect.

  3. frostbitefalls

    Today might be a good day to pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep.

        1. HistoriCat

          You are just asking to be stepped on. Now if I put all my weight on one paw right … there!

          1. tessiee

            During the day, people's feet are feet; but once they get under the covers, their feet magically turn into Bed Mice [tm], and must be pounced upon.
            But since you're a cat, you probably already know this.

          2. MittBorg

            Late night movie watchings at La Casa de Los Gatos are often punctuated by screams and cries of, "Get the FUCK away from me, you furry bastid!"

            This usually includes an extra dimension of abject terror if the entertainment du nuit is a horror film.

          3. MittBorg

            My life isn't hard enough, with daily butt-licking going on right next to my ear, followed by nightly nose-licking right in my face?

            Cats. They have no mercy. NONE.

      1. SayItWithWookies

        Try uncle. I know it's hard to keep track when so many of these people are their own cousins, but Trig really is Tripp's uncle.

    1. lunchbox360

      I see we can use the starts with R and ends with etard word again. I was recently threatened with death by the catwomany person for using it.

    2. MittBorg

      So how much you pay Editrix not to jump all over your ass for using that word? Because every time I fuckin' try to use it, the admin eats my reply for up to four hours.

    1. Native_of_SL_UT

      When my kid was little, he didn't even know any of these kinds of words, but he did crack us up once by saying he wanted to make license plates when he got big.

      1. viennawoods13

        I confess, my son when 2 knew the word "fuck". He thought it meant spill or mishap. I blame his father.

        1. MittBorg

          My favourite girl learned to say "fuck" from me. At the age of two. Fortunately, she was an adorable and amiable child and was quickly persuaded to stop using it forever (thankyewjebus).

          1. viennawoods13

            I still remember him tugging at my skirt saying "Fuck, Mommy, fuck!" pointing at the milk he spilled. Try not to laugh at that! He then ceased to use potty words as a child, but he does swear a blue streak as a young adult.

          2. MittBorg

            FavouriteGirl told me, when she was in her late teens, that she really appreciated that I treated her like an adult. Which I always did, but I think she was referring to the swearing like a fucking sailor. She's a grown young woman, now, and conducts herself with a singular grace and charm. You must vote for her when she runs for President.

          3. viennawoods13

            Well, the whole me being Canadian thing would make that difficult. (unless our Dear Leader, Stephen Harper, achieves his goal of making us the 51st state) As much as I prefer Obama to Harper, I'll stick to Canada. But I promise to cheer for her from the sidelines!

        2. tessiee

          A friend of a friend had a toddler who was learning words, and tried out "buck", "duck", etc. When he got to the word "fuck", although he clearly had no idea what it meant, he noticed that the grownups suddenly started making a big fuss and paying attention to him. He still doesn't know what "fuck" means (I don't think), but he now knows how to get a LOT of attention from the grown-ups.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      And there are sooo many connies that would defend them. I guess that means the "party of values" has none. We all knew that though.

      1. HistoriCat

        I stayed at the Westward Ho in Las Vegas – now that was low-roller kind of place!

  4. ChernobylSoup

    Call them "Canadians." That way if your toddler picks up the word and starts using it, nobody gets offended. Also, it instills a healthy fear of Canadians early in life.

    1. WhiteyMcFlyover

      As a sweet Midwestern boy, it was a huge shock to find that Canadians use the word 'fag' pretty much the way I did when I was 9. 'Stop being such a fag, and pass the joint, eh? '

    2. new_pic_for_NEWTer

      Yes be afraid of Canadians!
      How do you distinguish an aggressive Canook? During the arguement he's staring at YOUR shoes.

    3. new_pic_for_NEWTer

      I'm being repressed – prolly 'cause I'm Canadian. Posting delayed is posting denied.

          1. MittBorg

            Look, darls, I love you, and you're awfully nice, and all, but could we please refrain from referring to English (purported) comestibles as "food." Honestly, that was the most unappetizing description of noms I have ever heard.

          2. MittBorg

            I can see why, dear. Having to eat stuff like that would certainly make me want to bat for the other team. I mean … oh, never mind. You know exactly what I mean.

          3. Butch_Wagstaff

            I've learned to always, ALWAYS stop if the description/recipe says "pig's heart". It just gets worse after that.

  5. Tundra Grifter

    History does repeat itself – first it is tragedy, then it returns as farce.

    The Palins have become a pathetic parody of themselves. It's an endless loop of dumbass.

          1. C_R_Eature

            Ganglia then. You have a point, but there's got to be some kind of rudimentary nervous system. Doesn't there?

          2. MittBorg

            Darling, how *do* you manage to find me such fascinating things? Is this your field of endeavour, or what? I know not much is known about the c_r_e_ature, and that's the way the CREATURE wants it, but, what torture!

  6. Gopherit

    Now, now Tripp. You're aunt isn't a faggot….she's a slutty dyke.

    Snowbilly family values.

  7. Mkloz

    Yes, you are "doing a terrible job disciplining Tripp," Bristol. But don't worry! He's got a bright future ahead of him as a French fry technician/social media consultant at Chik-fil-A.

    1. actor212

      "Dammit, Palin! It's 'Do you want fries with that?' not 'Fries did you, what?' Christ, even your uncle Trígg understood that much!"

  8. Crank_Tango

    I will click on Courtney the zucchini chugger, I will go greek for Ben and Jerry's, hell I will click on Smokey the "Bear," but I am not clicking on Bristle until it is her sex tape.

  9. Goonemeritus

    I wonder where he heard that word, when my kids were that age they would call us fascists and Pinkerton’s when we tried to put them down for a nap. You get back what you put in.

      1. Goonemeritus

        My youngest did organize a lunch room protest in third grade with some of his more acquiescent fellow students. Their battle cry was “No Porgies, No Peace” , their demands were never met.

          1. Goonemeritus

            Sadly my youngest has fallen in with a bad crowd (Evangelical Christens) and his politics have taken a rather cynical turn. As he is only 18 there is possible redemption out there for him, we put our hopes in the sexy little Marxist coeds he will be trying to bed. My oldest is about halfway through his BSME and he informs my politics regularly with his optimistic view of humanity.

          2. MittBorg

            The oldest sounds like a delight. Ya did good with him, you and Mrs. Goon. The little one, yaknow, send him to a good school with the kids and grandkids of the red diaper babies and they'll straighten him right out. Hell, I was raised by a fascist nutbag, and when I discovered Sex, Drugs, & Rock 'n Roll, it was the express train downhill from there! And I don't regret a minute of it either.

    1. new_pic_for_NEWTer

      "Pinkerton" an insult that needs to make a comeback. Willard and his circle of obsequious Pinkertons…

  10. BaldarTFlagass

    It would have been even more excellent if the kid had run into the kitchen and brought the girls some wine coolers from the fridge and said "Daddy sends, with his compliments."

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      I read that as "brought back girls with some wine coolers". Sounded half-way interesting, for a second.

  11. DailyGrumbles

    Ah. To think in 12 years lil Tripp will be driving a Trans-Am, flunking out of High School and snorting meth off a rusty 55 gallon oil drum. They grow up SO FAST!

    1. tessiee

      To think in 12 years lil Tripp will be driving a Trans-Am, flunking out of High School fifth grade

    1. MittBorg

      I heard the younger stepkid call the older stepkid that just once. I sat 'em both down and gave them a two-hour lecture on Civil Rights For Gay Folk. At the end, I said, "And, if I ever hear you using that word again, you know what happens, right?"

      In unison, they replied: "Yeah, we get another goddamned two-hour lecture." I'm SO proud of my boys. (wipes tear)

  12. OurHoboSenator

    Good thing Willow is going to hairdressing school so she won't have to interact much with homosexuals.

    1. JustPixelz

      I like the part where you said (of the TSA officers): “It was probably harder on them than it was on me."

    2. not that Dewey

      They also wiped his hands to check for explosive powder

      I don't get it. Do large penises deposit explosive powder on one's hands?

    1. JustPixelz

      He says "I hate you" about ten times and she just makes an empty threat. But expresses (sincere, I assume) outrage at the F-word. (No, the other F-word.)

      Actually, that's not bad parenting. Kids around three eventually say they hate you as way to test their independence and to get a reaction. "Well, I love you" is the standard response. Tripp then escalated to a socially unacceptable level that couldn't be ignored. I stopped watching. Did they send him to Gitmo for some good old waterboarding like grandma speaks so well of?

  13. lunchbox360

    For the first time I actually agree with one of the Palin's. They're faggots and I hate them too Tripp. I hate them too.

  14. Oblios_Cap

    "I don't like you." The kid's pretty astute for a Palin.

    That's the only family I know of where the question "Who the baby mama is?" actually makes sense.

  15. elviouslyqueer

    "I'm not doing a good job disciplining Tripp right now."

    I'll take What is "No Fucking Shit, Sherlock?" for $1,000, Alex.

  16. SexySmurf

    I'd like to take the time to point out that Bristol's show was cancelled by a network that continues to air programs about Texas prostitutes and a 400-pound land whale that verbally abuses children.

    1. kittensdontlie

      Cancelled?! That's heresy…now what am I going to watch on that night? Although the 400lb. prostitute show sounds interesting…

  17. Wadisay

    Before it's too late, poor little Tripp needs to be taken away from this awful woman and put up for adoption by a nice gay couple.

  18. Trannysurprise

    Little baby Tripp didn't mean to call mommy a faggot. He was probably just drunk.

    1. YasserArraFeck

      Yeah, Grannie Lou Sarah won't stop yappin' on about "ringin' those bells" and "shootin' those guns" and "freedums" an' shit, when I'm trying to watch WWE!!!!!!!

      youbetcha

    1. weejee

      and 'scusies for the unseemly "there planning" gaff instead of "they're planning"

      / pulls out cat-o-ninetails and begins with the Opus Dei self-mortification

  19. An_Outhouse

    "We can't go swimming. It looks like there are drunk kids down there. Mommy would have to fuck them all and I really don't feel like doing that right now"

  20. SayItWithWookies

    Stupid YouTube — I kept hitting the "change quality" button but the video still sucks.

  21. An_Outhouse

    "Fuck you, you cunt"
    "What did you just say?"
    "Fuck you, you cunt"
    "I can't believe you said that " (snicker, snicker, snicker)
    "Fuck you, you cunt"
    "You really shouldn't say that" (snicker, snicker, snicker)
    "Fuck you, you cunt"

    1. Antispandex

      How would that work though? Everyone has McBabies, because we aren't getting anyone pregs the old fashioned way? Brave New World? Someone has to remain hetero, right? I am willing to make the sacrifice…for mankind.

  22. BaldarTFlagass

    I'm just surprised they flew into Phoenix. Granted it was on non-elitist Southwest, but I figured them more as Greyhound types.

      1. Jus_Wonderin

        Well, they might top out the weight capacity for that pickup. They should Bitchhike.

  23. smashedinhat

    The Palin's aren't particularly unique and I think that's what scares me the most. I've spent half my life in various hickville bumfuckistans where slack jawed mouth breathers were the norm and I suspect many of you have as well. Problem is as soon as they bleed they breed, and I cannot see any way around it.

  24. Antispandex

    This is one of the things I love most about Wonkette. YOU watch this shit, so I don't have to! Thanks Commie Girl!

  25. Dildeaux

    Producers run reality shows. Hence:

    This was no mistake.

    The wee feller either:
    hears the term at home OR
    was told to say this by producers OR
    Both.
    But certainly not neither.

    1. natoslug

      I usually entertain myself by eavesdropping on conversations around me during meals when I am on a business trip. I spent one scintillating evening in New York a few years back listening to some guy trying to impress his date by telling her about his work as a scriptwriter for a reality TV show. So yeah, the poor little turd was either trained to call her that, or he said it at some point and they engineered to have him say it again in a more "dramatic" setting.

  26. Blunderthing

    Children are such unpredictable fashion accessories and career footstools. And they say the darndest things!

  27. elburritodeluxe

    Just my opinion, but the guy at the bar? A fauxmosexual. A plant by the producers to make Liberals look bad.

  28. natoslug

    Was I supposed to be able to tell these two stellar examples of modern American womanhood apart? I can't tell if it's because I'm getting old or because I just can't bring myself to care, but other than the hair color, one amorphous blob of Palin spawn looks pretty much like the other.

  29. ibwilliamsi

    I didn't read Bristol's reaction as shocked. I read it as "Shit, that little faggot said "faggot" on the TEEVEE and now everyone will know! How will I ever explain THIS away? Can I get a contract for eradicating childhood swearing because now I know what mistake that faggot was?"

  30. Tundra Grifter

    Helpless and hapless when it comes to being a parent. That "one more time" crap doesn't cut it. Worthless.

    Poor kid as been sitting on an airplane for hours, riding in a car to and from airports, etc. Full of nervous energy.

    You take him to the pool and work all that out. Give him a light meal of healthy food and he'll sleep until noon tomorrow.

    1. Fare la Volpe

      What you're assuming is that they're good acceptable not completely useless parents.

    2. LakeLucilleLoon

      I'd not put it past these two cretins to take him to the pool and teach him to sleep with the fishes. Then they can get drunk with the teens at the pool.

  31. Fraudulently_Joe

    I was honestly more shocked by the "You're not cute!" line. Because the anti-gay slur, let's be honest, kinda expected. But who'd have expected a Palin child to be that perceptive?!

    1. Jennyjen798

      Ha!
      Probably Arizona State in Tempe or one of the Maricopa County Community Colleges. :o

  32. VespulaMaculata

    You couldn't just leave them in Alaska, could you, Walnuts? Now, you have nobody to blame but yourself if the Palins push your p.o.w. victimhood four paragraphs down in your eventual obituary.

  33. ttommyunger

    I get chills just thinking about how close we came to the possibility of that troupe of trailer-trash buzzing in and out of the White House….'Course they are white…..

  34. edgydrifter

    Listen, it's been a busy day and I'm hours late reading this so I know nobody will ever see this comment, but I need to announce to the world that as of this moment I LURVE WILLOW. That there is some Grade-A ranting. Bad enough that I sprayed coffee on my monitor when I read "I hope you drown in an aids sewer," but I nearly shart myself when she topped that with "I will fucking hollow out your dumbass brother and wear him like a suit of armor while I fuck you into pieces." So precious, like a wee Don Rickles! I want to piss her off just to hear her hurl insults at me. She RULZ!

  35. tessiee

    Some months ago, Fatass described her little oops as "a rambunctious little boy who loves snowmobiling". I translated this as "a hyperactive little thug who nobody ever disciplines, much less reads a book to" (yes, I know nobody in that family owns a book); and predicted that he'd be punching flowers for being gay as soon as he could walk, torturing neighborhood pets by ten, gang raping some poor girl with the rest of his football team at fourteen, and pretty much over by his eighteenth birthday.
    I'm beginning to think I was an optimist.

  36. Spider-Jerk

    And the first time he curb-stomps some kid for not acting block-headed enough to be a Real Man, his mommy will ask him why he did a thing like that, then buy him a shiny new truck.

  37. aklibtard

    Willow is fucking nuts! Holy shit, each new Palin is crazier than the last. I can't wait to see Piper's reality show.

  38. zumpie

    Verrrrry late, so again, doubt anyone'll see this but:

    1) Willow appears to be a fan of the Marquis de Sade (or I hope so, since her stuff makes his stuff look posiitvely wholesome).

    2) I'm horrified to admit it, but Tawd just went up a peg in my book for being the voice of reason. Though he probably taught them all this, so maybe not….

  39. TribecaMike

    If Federico Fellini is going to make fun of my country from the grave, he should at least have the palle to show his face on the streets of Dodge City. And keep out of it, Festus, ya flea-ridden syphilitic varmint.

  40. MRjonz

    Jesus H. Christ, that exchange above was for real?!

    Build the Damn Fence…up North. Mine Alaska Route 2, 7 and 98 at the border. Demand that Canada aggressively defend her airspace over BC and the Yukon Territory. Get the $7.2 million back from Russia and call it a day.

  41. VA_Dreaming

    It so hurts to say anything in defense of a Palin, but any parent should know this from experience. A child can hear a word once, and realize that it is a "bad word" and come out with it at the worst time. This does not show that she is a bad parent or runs around calling people faggots all the time. Of course it does not disprove it either. I do believe that many of the other things miss Palin does and says does show that she is not very bright, but like her mother does seem to turn a buck based on little or no discernible talent.

  42. iburl

    …And so the eternal cycle of spoiled-brattishness is passed on from generation to generation to generation, forever, or as long as they keep making wine coolers.

    I'd like to imagine that if by some scientific miracle the Palin family acquired the ability to be self-aware and feel shame, this ongoing testament to their shittastic parenting would cause them much embarrassment. Gotta have faith.

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