TEXAS JUSTICE  9:53 am July 20, 2012

Texas Ignores U.N., Executes Mentally Challenged Man It Wanted Dead So, So Bad

by Rich Abdill

Color photographs are for blue-state homos.Is there anything Texas likes more than killing people? Anything? Jesus, maybe, but he’s somehow their best excuse to do everything awful, including killing people, so let’s just say Texas likes killing people A LOT and get on with the facts of the case of Yokamon Hearn, who was unceremoniously put to sleep Wednesday over the objections of everybody who wasn’t currently in the act of killing him.

Hearn is a 33-year-old guy who killed a Plano stock broker, and WOW did Texas want to make him dead. The main objection was that Hearn had mental deficiencies resulting from his mother drinking while she was pregnant. Texas ignored this because — and this is a real quote from a real prosecutor — it “would be a free pass for anyone whose parents drank.”

You hear that, people with brain damage? Don’t go getting any ideas. (Especially in Georgia, also too.)

Texas likewise did not care about the ivory tower muckety-mucks of the United Nations, who had their Office Of Trying To Calm Down Maniacally Homicidal States write a letter saying, “Like, listen guys. We have to deal with the planet’s biggest assholes every day, and this still seems pretty shitty.”

Right. So, fuck the U.N., let’s kill somebody! Break out the three-drug cocktail and we’ll get it on. What’s that? It expired? Seriously? OK, let’s see what else is lying around — pentobarbital… that’s the stuff they use to put down pets, right? Load it up.

It’s the first time the drug had been used to kill a human in Texas, though Florida (who else?) killed a guy with it last year, in a rare move that bothered a pharmaceutical company. From RT:

Before the September execution of Manuel Valle, Lundbeck manufactures wrote to Florida Governor Rick Scott (R) to say that using their product to kill people “contradicts everything Lundbeck is in business to do — provide therapies that improve people’s lives.”

Lundbeck has banned the export of the drug to the US, but a surplus of supplies in some states is forcing authorities to use the narcotic to kill inmates, especially in instances where the components of the three-drug cocktail are unavailable.

“While the company has never sold the product directly to prisons and therefore can’t make guarantees, we are confident that our new distribution program will play a substantial role in restricting prisons’ access to Nembutal for misuse as part of lethal injection,” Lundbeck wrote last year.

Did you know states could murder people with off-label prescriptions THEY JUST HAPPENED TO HAVE LYING AROUND? And, even though the drug company is frantically trying to hide this drug from governments and the U.N. complained about how it was probably a lousy thing to be killing people “affected by structural brain dysfunction,” they did it. He’s dead. And now all you kids suffering from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome know: Stay the hell away from Texas. [RT]

 
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{ 164 comments }

Chill_Bill July 20, 2012 at 9:56 am

It takes a mentally challenged governor to execute a mentally challenged man.

freakishlywrong July 20, 2012 at 10:05 am

Wingnuts. They have no empathy chip.

thatsitfortheother1 July 20, 2012 at 10:10 am

Not much of a humor chip, either.

actor212 July 20, 2012 at 10:22 am

Now, he had three good reasons for putting the man to death:

He killed someone

He was mentally deficient

And, uhhhhhhhh, I forgot the last. Oops.

Doktor Zoom July 20, 2012 at 10:24 am

Housing and Urban Development?

thatsitfortheother1 July 20, 2012 at 10:25 am

Sumpn to do with edumacation or sumpn.

weejee July 20, 2012 at 10:27 am

Janet Napolitano?

Chill_Bill July 20, 2012 at 10:25 am

"And he was a Black man," added Ron Paul.

BerkeleyBear July 20, 2012 at 11:45 am

"But I didn't actually say that. It was just said over my name by someone. I'm not sure who, even though there were only two people authorized to speak for me and I'm one of them," Ron Paul, when running for President a decade later.

CthuNHu July 20, 2012 at 2:24 pm

You know who else lost no sleep over killing untermenschen?

BaldarTFlagass July 20, 2012 at 9:58 am

"Is there anything Texas likes more than killing people?"

Well, we got our start by killing Mexicans, and have just gone from strength to strength ever since.

Oblios_Cap July 20, 2012 at 10:09 am

I exclude you from my later comment. you'll see what I mean.

bhosp July 20, 2012 at 10:12 am

It's called having a "core skillset", HELLO EVER HERD OF IT COMMUNIST?!

Antispandex July 20, 2012 at 12:13 pm

"Is there anything Texas likes more than killing people?"

Truck Nutz?

Preferred Customer July 20, 2012 at 9:58 am

"You hear that, people with brain damage? Don’t go getting any ideas. "

I guess that means Louis Gohmert can't use this as an excuse?

Chill_Bill July 20, 2012 at 10:06 am

"Did he kill somebody or not??? It's a 'yes' or a 'no' question!!!"

sullivanst July 20, 2012 at 10:45 am

Any other answer than 'yes' or 'no' is nonresponsive.

ChernobylSoup July 20, 2012 at 9:59 am

I'd rather have unicorns and rainbows this morning, thank you very much.

Biff July 20, 2012 at 10:50 am

OK, how about that guy in Aurora Colorado?

An_Outhouse July 20, 2012 at 10:00 am

When you outlaw mental deficiencies, only criminals will have mental deficiencies.

OneDollarJuana July 20, 2012 at 10:25 am

Careful. You're talking about depopulating Texas (and the rest of the South).

fatbob54 July 20, 2012 at 10:36 am

Bumper sticker on Perry's offical limo:

"You can have my mental deficiencies when you pry them from my cold dead…oh wait, crap"

Antispandex July 20, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Mental deficiencies don't kill people, people with mental deficiencies kill people?

ChernobylSoup July 20, 2012 at 10:00 am

Oh Texas. Dear, dear Texas. Maybe someday when you grow up you can join the community of civilized people.

FlownOver July 20, 2012 at 10:20 am

Texas doesn't want to join any club that would accept Texas as a member.

not that Dewey July 20, 2012 at 10:27 am

with the possible exception of the CSA.

sullivanst July 20, 2012 at 10:46 am

I'd much rather hang out with Groucho Marx (or Richard Feynman) than in Texas, any day.

And yes, I do mean in their coffins.

fuflans July 20, 2012 at 1:32 pm

yeah, but you know, they are a job creatin machine.

BaldarTFlagass July 20, 2012 at 10:01 am

And with Perry's politically-motivated refusal to take money made available by "Obamacare," Texas will now be killing people who haven't even committed a crime, including children. It's the greatest state!

WhiteyMcFlyover July 20, 2012 at 10:03 am

Hey, just taking care of government surpluses!

Biff July 20, 2012 at 10:52 am

But now the SPCA will be forced to euthanize animals by clubbing them to death due to a shortage of Nembutol.

WhiteyMcFlyover July 20, 2012 at 11:03 am

Oh, you thought I meant the drugs. I can see that.

Biff July 20, 2012 at 11:14 am

Oh. Oh. OH!

JustPixelz July 20, 2012 at 10:25 am

It's the One Star State.

sewollef July 20, 2012 at 11:03 am

It's the one brain cell state too…

CthuNHu July 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Hey, those kids have it coming. In Texas, poverty is a class A felony.

If they can't hack the chair, they shoulda gotten cash to spare.

ChillBill July 20, 2012 at 10:02 am

I can see the Wingnut "let's get rid of the other retarded Black man" jokes coming from a mile away…

ChernobylSoup July 20, 2012 at 10:05 am

They're too busy blaming all those people in the movie theater who didn't have concealed carry permits.

Chill_Bill July 20, 2012 at 10:12 am

Yeah, I noticed that. We live in a country full of Bruce Willis extras, who are anxiously waiting to jump into the set of "Die Hard."

ChernobylSoup July 20, 2012 at 10:15 am

I should have known better than to start reading comments on the WaPo site this morning. Good lord, it was wall to wall woulda shoulda coulda.

Chill_Bill July 20, 2012 at 10:22 am

It's on every board. Somehow gun owners are the real victims here, cause this would've never happened if the government hadn't tried so hard to take away their freedums.

actor212 July 20, 2012 at 10:22 am

Be kinda hard to shoot back when the bullet that kilt you came through a wall.

thatsitfortheother1 July 20, 2012 at 10:28 am

Guy was wearing tactical gear as well. You pop one in his general direction and fail to hit him in the head or the nads, and it's all over baby blue.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 20, 2012 at 12:19 pm

You're expected to blast away at the wall, on the chance that one of the people you kill will be the one who shot you. You're also expected to carry the firepower needed to get through the wall. USA! USA!

Doktor Zoom July 20, 2012 at 10:03 am

This will be an important warning to people who lack the mental faculties to understand it.

Nostrildamus July 20, 2012 at 12:51 pm

That is awesome.

Goonemeritus July 20, 2012 at 10:03 am

We need to admit Texas is ungovernable and send in UN peace keepers.

Biff July 20, 2012 at 10:55 am

Gun nuts have already been practicing by shooting targets of silhouettes wearing blue helmets.

Where the fuck is that guy who used to hang out here and talk about guns all the time, anyway?

Do NOT invoke his name!

An_Outhouse July 20, 2012 at 11:44 am

If I was independently wealthy, I would buy a helicopter, paint it black, and fly it over the wingnuts' houses just for the fun of it.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 20, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Better armor it up first.

freakishlywrong July 20, 2012 at 10:03 am

Isn't Hearn Blah? All you need to know, really.

Oblios_Cap July 20, 2012 at 10:05 am

You hear that, people with brain damage? Don’t go getting any ideas.

Yeah, you Texicans! That means all of you had better shape up!

samsuncle July 20, 2012 at 10:06 am

This is bad news for the Texas Republican Congressional delegation.

SorosBot July 20, 2012 at 10:06 am

"Stay the hell away from Texas" is good advice for everybody really.

OneDollarJuana July 20, 2012 at 10:27 am

Texas, Arizona, South Carolina. Jeez, it's starting to get to where I won't be able to travel anywhere East of the Cascade Mountains.

thatsitfortheother1 July 20, 2012 at 10:38 am

Good travel advice. Add Colorado to the list.

SorosBot July 20, 2012 at 10:42 am

East? The problem is that those places are all to the south; stay north of the Mason-Dixon line, as extended to the border of California.

(Well you can go to Washington and Maryland, they haven't been part of the South for well over a century).

sullivanst July 20, 2012 at 11:18 am

Joe Biden libel!

fatbob54 July 20, 2012 at 10:41 am

My thoughts exactly.

Biff July 20, 2012 at 10:58 am

I used to think it was smack dab in the way to some cool places, but now that I've been to Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Arkansas and Florida, I now realize there is nothing at all of value to the east of the Lone Tard state.

HempDogbane July 20, 2012 at 10:08 am

Also, when you go to the Mayo Clinic, remember to leave your 50-60# pipe bomb at home.OT, I know, but the news this morning. Jesus !

johnnyzhivago July 20, 2012 at 10:08 am

Just more evidence that smart brain damaged people should take advantage of America's openly and freely available assault weapons so when they do go on a murder spree, they can make the most of it.

OneDollarJuana July 20, 2012 at 10:29 am

The Right is on a witch-hunt in this "Fast and Furious" investigation, when the real problems is not that we sold guns to a few Mexican drug dealers, it's that we freely allow millions of crazy Americans to buy the same guns, and worse.

Oblios_Cap July 20, 2012 at 10:08 am

You just can't go around killing stockbrokers or any of your other social betters and not expect to pay the price for it. No Excuses!

Damn Poorz – always wanting to get away with stuff.

PubOption July 20, 2012 at 10:57 am

Not killing this guy would encourage the Occupy Wall Street movement. We can't have that!

BaldarTFlagass July 20, 2012 at 10:09 am

Good thing that Lundbeck guy doesn't run a company that manufactures ammunition. Or maybe it's too bad.

Boojum July 20, 2012 at 10:10 am

Texas executing the mentally challenged is a good way to depopulate Texas, is what it is.

Mittens Howell, III July 20, 2012 at 10:12 am

Hurry guys! lets get this execution over with, there's a Right to Life meeting in the Governor's office in ten minutes.

GorzoTheMighty July 20, 2012 at 10:12 am

Executing people that are retarded. Germany probably has some left over Zyklon- B kicking around. What is next, Texas electing a Governor that dresses up in a military uniform with jack boots.?

thatsitfortheother1 July 20, 2012 at 10:13 am

When somebody messes with Texas, how can you tell the difference?

actor212 July 20, 2012 at 10:17 am

A higher pile of shit?

thatsitfortheother1 July 20, 2012 at 10:39 am

Glossier, perhaps?

EatsBabyDingos July 20, 2012 at 10:15 am

I got threatened at a bar once for saying to a pro-lifer that God was pro-Death, since according to "The Faith" everybody dies, and that's God's plan, so He must be in favor of Death for some reason. Upside down went the Bud bottle in his hand, and I got tossed from the bar for agitating.

actor212 July 20, 2012 at 10:21 am

Politer way of pissing him off: "If God is pro-life, why do people die?"

widestanceromance July 20, 2012 at 10:27 am

Coat hangers are a part of his mysterious, but obligatory according to his lesser creations (humans), plan. Right.

BaldarTFlagass July 20, 2012 at 10:32 am

That's as great a mystery as the eternal question, "Did Adam have a belly button?"

sullivanst July 20, 2012 at 11:22 am

And what about the Flood, HENNGGGGGGHHHHHHH???

thatsitfortheother1 July 20, 2012 at 10:23 am

Another good reason to drink beer only out of a Maßkrug.

EatsBabyDingos July 20, 2012 at 10:31 am

And I forgot the ironic part. It was in 1989 at Slick Willy's, a cavernous bar in Little Rock named for some governor, Willie Horton. Or someone.

ColHeightsChic July 20, 2012 at 1:13 pm

I would have probably made out with you (assuming you possess male parts) if I had been there to witness that exchange.

cheaphits July 20, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Well, I got a true Texas honky-tonk story, from a dive in Odessa, Tx.

The regulars played a drinking game – if you lost had to hit the next person who walked in the door as hard as you could in the face…man, woman, young or old.

There are some tuff bars in Texas.

Guppy July 20, 2012 at 10:16 am

Texas doesn't worship Jesus, Texas worships crucifixion.

It's an easy mistake to make.

thatsitfortheother1 July 20, 2012 at 10:23 am

OMG, that is perfect.

IncenseDebate July 20, 2012 at 10:36 am

That's what I was thinking. There's definitely a death-worship cult at large calling themselves Christians.

widestanceromance July 20, 2012 at 10:40 am

Trust no religions that use an execution device as a logo.

Gratuitous World July 20, 2012 at 10:16 am

take heart, wonkette – i assume the Pro-Life zealots are all over this.

iburl July 20, 2012 at 10:16 am

In happier news, Rick Perry is about to move back into the Governor's Mansion. No more rough nights in that 10K a month 7 bathroom estate. See, not every congenitally stupid murderer gets executed in Texas.

actor212 July 20, 2012 at 10:17 am

Wow. That's, um, quite the story.

I mean, yea, a drunk mom is a lame excuse, to be sure, but here's the thing: ANY excuse to avoid execution should be more than sufficient to lock the cell and toss the key, rather than, you know, piss God off by taking a life.

FlownOver July 20, 2012 at 10:18 am

"And now all you kids suffering from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome know: Stay the hell away from Texas. "

Why so restrictive? Shouldn't everyone know this?

JustPixelz July 20, 2012 at 10:27 am

I have a .. um .. friend who suffers from Adult Alcohol Syndrome. Same rule?

BaldarTFlagass July 20, 2012 at 10:41 am

Speaking from experience, the only way to maintain your sanity and live here is through continual dosage.

Biff July 20, 2012 at 11:04 am

Proper titration is key, here.

Guppy July 20, 2012 at 10:19 am

Can't the drug company person sue the state for patent/trademark infringement?

James Michael Curley July 20, 2012 at 10:36 am

No, but during the Bush admin, early on, he stopped an effort by the FDA to curtail 'off-label' uses of drugs citing the need to allow doctors to determine what worked best for their patients by trial and error.

sullivanst July 20, 2012 at 11:24 am

Yay! No IRB oversight!

BerkeleyBear July 20, 2012 at 11:55 am

The FDA does bust drug makers – not end users- for pushing off label use these days, but of course that doesn't do shit for this situation except make the drug maker keep shouting "don't use it like that!" as the Texas prison guards gleefully plunge the needle into his arm.

Plus, even if there was patent infringement, the state couldn't be sued (thanks to Scalia and Thomas resurrecting the 11th Amendment in a case about pre-paid tuition plans to invalidate plain Congressional intent).

MiniMencken July 20, 2012 at 10:19 am

Both Emerson and Thoreau opposed allowing Texas into the Union, arguing it would destroy the United States. A prophet in his own country…

actor212 July 20, 2012 at 10:19 am

in a rare move that bothered a pharmaceutical company.

Wow. I mean, what does it say when Big Pharma is a bigger humantarian than Rick Scott? Or Rick Perry?

Biff July 20, 2012 at 11:05 am

Makes as much sense as explosives manufacturer Nobel sponsoring a Peace Prize!

Billmatic July 20, 2012 at 10:19 am

Things Texans like more than killing people:

1. Great big trucks
2. voting republican

actor212 July 20, 2012 at 10:20 am

3. Truck Nutz

Doktor Zoom July 20, 2012 at 10:29 am

4. Complaining that Christians got no rights any more.

not that Dewey July 20, 2012 at 10:29 am

5. Eliminating facts from history textbooks.

iburl July 20, 2012 at 10:31 am

6. Trying to Ignore that Alaska has more land mass.

SorosBot July 20, 2012 at 10:41 am

For one they like to pretend that the founders of the Republic of Texas were a bunch of heroes fighting Mexican tyranny, when they were a bunch of dipshits fighting for the "freedom" to own slaves.

weejee July 20, 2012 at 10:30 am

4. Johnny Winter

OneDollarJuana July 20, 2012 at 10:31 am

4. Eating too much red meat.
5. Bragging about items 1-4.

JustPixelz July 20, 2012 at 10:26 am

Vaginal probe ultrasound?

PubOption July 20, 2012 at 10:59 am

Guns, guns and more guns.

Billmatic July 20, 2012 at 11:03 am

7. Whataburger
8. ZZ Top

Oblios_Cap July 20, 2012 at 11:13 am

9. Not teaching critical thinking.

sbj1964 July 20, 2012 at 10:23 am

The only good thing that ever came out of Texas is I-10.

Billmatic July 20, 2012 at 10:31 am

How dare you. Just for starters: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDJtAqXbZ1c

sullivanst July 20, 2012 at 11:28 am

Although the fact that Relationship of Command caused the breakup of ATDI still says a lot about the kinds of people you find in Texas.

thatsitfortheother1 July 20, 2012 at 10:33 am

All of them, Katie.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 20, 2012 at 10:26 am

Don't we all get to kill at least one stock broker during the coming revolution?

WhiteyMcFlyover July 20, 2012 at 10:33 am

40 bankers and a mule or gtfo!

Oblios_Cap July 20, 2012 at 10:44 am

I believe it will be mandated by the new regime.

Biff July 20, 2012 at 11:06 am

One can only hope.

sullivanst July 20, 2012 at 11:29 am

From what I recall of the pigeonhole principle, only one in 99 of us gets a stockbroker to kill.

bobbert July 22, 2012 at 12:27 am

Wassa matter with cooperative effort?

BaldarTFlagass July 20, 2012 at 10:28 am

Well, at least there's some good news out of Texas lately: ZZ Top has been recording a new album (first in almost a decade) with Rick Rubin. EP "Texicali" has been released and the single takes me back to that good old bluesy 1970's Top. Awesome. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJRBdLpTeso

ChernobylSoup July 20, 2012 at 10:31 am

I'm not sure the new album will have legs.

thatsitfortheother1 July 20, 2012 at 10:43 am

I saw them at Tarant County about 1972. Billy Gibbons, with a gold lamay suit and matching fedora and Les Paul. What a show.

Got a girl her name's Francine…

sbj1964 July 20, 2012 at 10:34 am

Rick Perry should not be spared.

DemmeFatale July 20, 2012 at 10:37 am

I don't want to be a wet blanket, but, I can't even read this.
Way to harsh my mellow, Wonkette.

(I know, I'm a cry-baby!)

C_R_Eature July 20, 2012 at 10:53 am

Don't apologize. This just means you still have your humanity. Unlike Rick Perry.

fuflans July 20, 2012 at 1:35 pm

i know right?

i read the headline (hours late and hours after the atrocities all over the radio this AM) and my first thought was 'Good Morning!'

C_R_Eature July 20, 2012 at 10:38 am

Dear Texas:

Secession. It's still an option, if you want it.

Sincerely, CRE.

PS: We're keeping the Army, Naval and Air bases, the Johnson Spaceflight Center, the National Estuarine Research Reserve at Mission-Aransas, the Interstate highways, rail lines and airport terminals and all the National Parks. You may purchase them from us at competitive bid rates, if you wish. US Dollars will be the only acceptable tender.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 20, 2012 at 11:04 am

What about that danged fence? The One-Star State is broke, but I'm pretty sure Mexico would be happy to maintain it.

C_R_Eature July 20, 2012 at 11:21 am

Where's an active crustal plate subduction zone when you really need one?

Biel_ze_Bubba July 20, 2012 at 12:34 pm

I like to think that Barringer Crater was just a range-finding shot.

C_R_Eature July 20, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Adjust a few clicks for windage, and you've got it.

sullivanst July 20, 2012 at 11:33 am

… although purchases in Ameros might be negotiable.

C_R_Eature July 20, 2012 at 11:43 am

True. We will not, however, accept Chickens.

BerkeleyBear July 20, 2012 at 11:58 am

Can we keep the cool parts of Austin, too (but let the yokels keep the damn football team – Mack Brown can rot in fucking idiot hell, that sumbitch).

C_R_Eature July 20, 2012 at 12:03 pm

The Austin Federal Zone sounds OK to me!

Steverino247 July 20, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Annual tribute in the form of free fajitas to any Real American visiting Austin will also be part of the deal.

C_R_Eature July 20, 2012 at 2:35 pm

"Freedom fajitas"! I am down with that.

Biff July 20, 2012 at 10:49 am

a surplus of supplies in some states is forcing authorities to use the narcotic to kill inmates

See? They HAD to do it! Def NOT TX's fault, you guys!

Schmegeg July 20, 2012 at 11:00 am

Can't the DEA tune someone up for this??

PubOption July 20, 2012 at 11:02 am

Missouri is planning to use propofol for lethal injections. If it was good enough for Michael Jackson….

Biel_ze_Bubba July 20, 2012 at 11:02 am

To be fair, "people with brain damage should not be getting any ideas" is probably good policy. We could have avoided the whole teabagger thing, for starters, and definitely Bachmann.

SayItWithWookies July 20, 2012 at 11:04 am

Texans should know that drugs are bad — hell, if they really wanted to kill someone, they'd send him to work at a BP refinery.

Mumbletypeg July 20, 2012 at 11:15 am

Ugh… Was gonna elaborate, then saw the date of the linked item. Good gravy! How do you remember this stuff?

SayItWithWookies July 20, 2012 at 11:45 am

I'm not sure, but some things just stay assimilated. As someone once said, life is a comedy to those who feel, a tragedy to those who think, and an episode of Jeopardy to those who can't forget.

Biff July 20, 2012 at 11:11 am

Hey, my mother drank during all of her too-many pregnancies, and some of us turned out just fine! Of the ones that weren't still-born, that is. Being born addicted to alcohol is no big deal, seriously!

WABishop July 20, 2012 at 11:18 am

If only there were some way of isolating the violent to keep them from being a danger to the public. Like a secure room of some sort, with bars on the windows and guards 24 hours a day. Think, Bill, think….

rabritz July 20, 2012 at 11:25 am

What the hell is the fuss about? The Houston Chronicle reported "Hearn showed no apparent unusual reaction to the drug…" Hearn's not going to be heard complaining. I wonder what an unusual reaction would have been?

barto July 20, 2012 at 11:37 am

Talk about off-label prescribing, even GlaxoSmithKline couldn't match that one.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm

You mean it wasn't FDA-certified as "safe and effective" for executions?

Biel_ze_Bubba July 20, 2012 at 12:10 pm

There are two aspects to this problem: the mentally-challenged guy on death row — and the one in the governor's office. Shouldn't we tackle this from the easier side?

Nostrildamus July 20, 2012 at 12:27 pm

The state of Texas is now smoking a cigarette.

shortsandpants July 20, 2012 at 12:52 pm

… all the good shit has come from a Government lab at some point or another.

Come here a minute July 20, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Nembutal numbs it all, but I prefer alcohol.

fuflans July 20, 2012 at 1:38 pm

why the fuck would we protect ret*rded people?

Steverino247 July 20, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Sounds like a retroactive happy ending!

ttommyunger July 20, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Reminds me of the last one of this type that Georgia needled. His last meal included Pecan Pie for desert, he refused to eat it insisting he wanted to "save it for later". Fucking pitiful.

CivicHoliday July 20, 2012 at 10:05 pm

I think I have some expired Excedrin PM and Midol in the back of my medicine closet. I'll fed ex them to the honorable Gov. Perry ASAP

Gopherit July 21, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Who…..is…..user…of.owls

DahBoner August 2, 2012 at 6:28 pm

I just downgraded The One Star State down to a half star on Yelp…

Billmatic July 20, 2012 at 10:52 am

Honestly that's a major oversimplification. I would say the slave-owning interests were the ones that mobilized the succession, but they wouldn't have had the support if the Mexican government didn't absolutely mismanage every facet of the colonization of Texas.

And Santa Ana did suck p. bad.

OurDailyBread July 20, 2012 at 6:04 pm

America is so completely and utterly fucked. I propose that we Canadians build a wall on our southern border and Mexicans can build one on their northern border in an attempt to keep the Plague of Stupid and Crazy contained.

God have mercy on our souls if we fail.

Caelan Aegana July 23, 2012 at 3:22 pm

But then the Border Protectin' Patriots will be forced to invade Mexico, because Jeebus forbid those brown people get up to something. They're just protecting them from themselves protecting themselves, dontchaknow.

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