rino

John Boehner Also Won’t Defend Michele Bachmann For Randomly Accusing Top Officials of Terrorism

As usual, all your Wonkette had to do was demand accountability in a single post and boom, there it is: accountability. It’s not such a bad gig, being the most powerful blog in the universe. (We would imagine.) Isn’t it a delight to see everyone finally condemn Michele Bachmann for smearing Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin, instead of simply laughing this off as one more thing? You’ve got your Walnuts, Ed Rollins, Marco Rubio, some other folks, and now John Boehner, who said today: “I don’t know Huma. But from everything that I do know of her, she has a sterling character, and I think accusations like this being thrown around are pretty dangerous.” You know what else would be pretty dangerous, Boehner? Huma Abedin plotting another 9/11, right now, with Egypt and her husband, Mr. Penis.

Boehner did stop short of saying she would have to leave her post on the Intelligence Committee, though, which she obviously should. The easiest way to achieve that going forward would be to vote her out of Congress for being stupid and cruel.

Did you see Bachmann running away from CNN’s Dana Bash yesterday? You should see it. Look at her go! Ha ha ha:

If you’re going to criticize Huma Abedin, at least settle on a story with some evidence, like how she is Hillary Clinton’s lesbian lover.

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[Washington Post]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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139 comments

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Yeah, like my next door neighbor's baby crying at night isn't part of a greater plot. That's why I keep my web cam trained on them at all time, and keep sending the feed to Homeland Security. If we don't report on each other, we will lose our freedom!

      1. worrytron

        Hey man, the gubmint can see your webcam cause of the power meters. Just thought i'd warn you.

    2. Antispandex

      "It's the ones you never suspect of being a terrorist, or a lesbian, who we have the most to be worried about!"

      Fixed

  1. noodlesalad

    Vote her out of congress for being cruel and stupid? Aren't those the first two items on the check list, right before "obscenely wealthy" and "suffering from at least one debilitating addiction?"

  2. BaldarTFlagass

    That accompanying woman there could eat beans off the top of my head and fart in my face.

  3. FakaktaSouth

    Is it a rule that you must be functionally illiterate to be this guy? why can't he ever have "seen the letter" or "read the bill" or "not be a huge question ducking dickbag?"

    Also, Boehner on Bachmann, worst porn ever, especially if it was Marcus. Too many jowls everywhere.

    1. Antispandex

      Good question! I always wondered why no one ever saw the statement, or knew the person (or knew them "that well"), has the slightest idea what they are being asked, but feels it's still OK to comment on it. What's up with that?

  4. el_donaldo

    It's been pretty awesome watching the party that enabled her crazy bullshit all these years suddenly turn on her.

    But I won't be happy until Bachmann, Goehmert, and Steve King are forced to fight lions gladiator-style in the pit of the House to retain their seats.

      1. el_donaldo

        I admit a total psychological freak-out is more plausible and increasingly likely, but I'm holding out for mauled by massive predator. I'll settle for a shark tank.

        1. actor212

          What did a shark ever do to you? Beautiful creatures.

          No, I think poetic justice demands either a gaggle of rabid geese or a few wild boar.

    1. WhatTheHolyHeck

      That was surprisingly composed; I'd expected her to be waving her hands over her head, screaming about the lesbian attacking her.

    1. EatsBabyDingos

      Politics is like sausage, and I believe we have found the ground rat testicles to prove it.

  5. Extemporanus

    Today, we are all Muslim brothers.

    *knock knock knock*

    (Hold on, someone's at the do

  6. fartknocker

    Michele was on her way to watch reruns of Bristol Palin – she's so excited about that role model.

  7. BaldarTFlagass

    Dana should consider getting some cosmetic surgery to try and reduce her resemblance to Ann Coulter.

    1. Fred_Wertham_Jr

      Dana Bash is just weird looking. And she's married to John King, who looks like he got hit in the face with a shovel or, perhaps, kicked by a mule in his youth. Adopting kids is really cool, you two.

  8. Self-Uploader

    Given all the people trying to protect Abedin from both sides of the aisle, it's obvious that Bachmann is on to something and the infiltration is even deeper than any of us could have imagined.

  9. chascates

    If Bachmann tries to cash a check on the Hill someone else should probably have to co-sign it, just in case. And no access to sharp things like letter openers or scissors.

  10. rickmaci

    Damn. Wasted opportunity to get a great shot of Dana Bash wearing a knockout summer dress and walking fast in heels because the freaking camera is focused on the troll woman with the bad hair and batshitcrazy eyes who is trying to go back into her hidey hole in the stairway shaft.

  11. Mittens Howell, III

    Warning Orange Man and your Comrade friends: Michele Bachmann has all of yours name on her Secrets Intellemagence Book!!!!!

    1. bikerlaureate

      Why does the Boehner hate America? Is he one of the commies Allen West was talking about?

  12. jakegittes

    "Would you consider recommending that she be committed to a state mental institution? Congressman Bachmann?"

    "I don't know that that's related."

    The hell it ain't.

  13. OneYieldRegular

    Michelle was moving faster than Barnabus Collins. What, was the sun about to come up?

  14. StealthMuslin

    If you think Michele Bachmann can walk fast in heels you should see her husband.

  15. edgydrifter

    Huma Abedin, sexual terrorist. OK, now we're getting somewhere. I sense Cinemax script potential here.

  16. mavenmaven

    Yes, because once the right wingers start accusing off-white people of being treasonous, they might start coming after the orange folks as well…

  17. EdFlintstone

    There's as much of a chance of the muslim brotherhood penetrating the state department as Marcus Bachmann penetrating Michele's snatch.

      1. EdFlintstone

        Thanks I've been in wonkette semi-retirement, I haven't really posted much in the past year, though I still lurk.

  18. Mumbletypeg

    If you’re going to criticize Huma Abedin, at least settle on a story with some evidence

    Today we are all Humanists.

    sorry… I'll just be right over here..

    1. Puffperney

      No, not on CNN. If she were on fox, that would make her the token ugly (female) person.

    1. edgydrifter

      Romney isn't against porn. He's against people getting free porn online. Paying for porn, say maybe in a room at the Marriott, is perfectly acceptable.

      1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

        We are talking Republicans, and we have found the one of the areas where they side with big government over the job creators:

        Just a few federal inquests, said Trueman, would likely frighten most companies — such as hotels and cable providers — into completely disassociating themselves from porn.

        What would be the use of being a business traveler if you can't spend $12.99 for a few minutes of Spank-o-vision? The entire economy will grind to a halt!

    2. Geminisunmars

      It wasn't very kind of you to post that link here. Think of the panic you've induced in three-quarters of the wonketteers.

    3. Callyson

      Trueman, the president of Morality in Media, contacted the Romney campaign earlier this year about the “untreated pandemic” of Internet pornography.

      What, they can't use the cream for that pandemic? Works immediately…

    4. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      From Tucker's wet dream:

      Trueman said he would like for Romney to speak publicly about cracking down on porn, but believes Romney avoids the subject because he “saw that Rick Santorum got beat up in the mainstream press for being so forthright.”

      Anybody know when the word "forthright" became a synonym for "batshit crazy prude"?

      “With respect to Romney, I believe him,” said Trueman, “but I’d like to make sure he means it.”

      Even if Romney doesn't mean it, in two weeks, he will change his position and mean it then.

      Trueman said convictions for distributing porn that displays group sex, simulated rape, incest, psuedo child porn, violence or unusual fetishes — such as “scat” porn — are relatively easy. But, he said, “unless it’s just waist-up nudity of women’s breasts it probably can be found obscene somewhere in the country.”

      Yes, we all want to be held to the moral standards of some small town in Utah. That is what this country is all about! But what kind of pervert is this guy anyway, if he knows about all that porn, and still wants to protect his waist up breast fetish.

  19. SmutBoffin

    I have here in my hand a list of 10 35 uh 50 Wonkett commenters who are in fact seckrit Romneys! They have coworkers who have relatives who have friends who have once touched a $100 bill.

  20. anniegetyerfun

    This must be a real shock for her, that more than one person is finally calling her on her complete and utter bullshit. It's taken far too long for anyone to say "Enough, you goddamn cunt."

  21. YasserArraFeck

    Ah crap – the closing picture mosaic has the half-eaten guy. I've managed to avoid that up to now. I don't need that sort of crap in my head.

  22. SoBeach

    I'm just trying figure out why this is the thing that finally got republicans to say "whoa…hold on a minute…"

    All they've done is smirk and giggle about the disrespect, lies, and slander aimed at the president and those around him. Now all of a sudden it's not okay?

    Best explanation I've seen is what someone else here posted on a different thread: The target is a hot woman. If she were anything else it'd be business as usual.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      My guess is that Hillary has been doing some behind-the-scenes knee-capping. I might be alone in not finding Huma to be particularly hot, but I can't be alone in believing that Hillary has less tolerance for this bullshit than Obama.

      1. Self-Uploader

        Agree, when this actually led to actual shit happening, including tomato and shoe throwing by Egyptian Christians who felt betrayed, I'm sure Hilary was pretty pissed off.

    2. Puffperney

      Maybe McCain, Boehner & co. realize that many of the swing voters in the upcoming are educated and may even know what "McCarthey – ism" is and they don't want to lose their votes?

      Nah, too rational.

  23. Jus_Wonderin

    Rubirosa was on "The Diane Rehm Show" today. He was not about to answer the question asked. Would he publicly criticize Bachmann for her attacks on Huma Abedin? He mumbled something typical.

    So, has he changed his mind in a little over 6 hours?

  24. Generation[redacted]

    Yeah, making dangerous accusations involving the Muslim Brotherhood infiltrating government is in no way related to the Intelligence Committee, or intelligence of any kind. He got that right.

  25. Maman

    I loved that The Daily Show called Boehner a Tandoori-American. Also imagine the Speaker of the House not wanting to libel a citizen. How crazy is that?

  26. Callyson

    Boehner did stop short of saying she would have to leave her post on the Intelligence Committee, though, which she obviously should.

    Maybe Boneheader figures her potential replacements within the Republican Party would be even stupider. He might be right for once…

    1. Geminisunmars

      He is an upscale rapist. He takes his victims to his leetle "five-bedroom, five-bathroom, 3,000-square-foot cabin" in the woods.

      1. Crank_Tango

        Ah, I just did. It said something about "hot links" but there were no sausages to be found anywhere.

    2. Angry_Marmot

      It's always the financial planners. How many MBAs– with their ties to the people who want to ruin this country– have infiltrated the Republican Party?

  27. Antispandex

    You guys just don't understand. Ms. Bachmann is a straight shooter, shoot from the hip, shooting maverick, like Sarah Palin. When you shoot from the hip, as you would know if you were gun owners instead of liberal hippies, you miss what you are aiming at a lot of the time. But, you shoot fast, make alot of noise, scare the shit out of people. That's what makes America great. Oh, and freedom. Screw the facts. Facts are for non- hip shooters.

  28. ttommyunger

    Michele is so wrapped up solving our National problems I'm betting her panties stay pee-crusted and pretty well skid-marked, ya know; just can't be bothered, too much to do.

  29. docterry6973

    I don't get it. When did baseless slander become a problem for Republicans? Also, she is only 5'2", which surprises me given how scary she is.

  30. gullywompr

    Republican women – can't live with 'em, and can't get them to dress up in a little Nazi uniform and beat you with a warm squash or something.

  31. rickmaci

    I just heard Joan Walsh of Solon refer to OneL Batshitcrazy as "Joe McCarthy in lipstick."

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