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Never Forget: Michele Bachmann Is The Real Victim Of Calling People Muslim Terrorists

Fun times at the Capitol! First Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (who sits on the House Intelligence Committee) released a letter saying Hillary Clinton’s top aide, superhotty Huma Abedin (who is married to Anthony Wiener, known Jew, also) is probably a Muslim terrorist! After all, why is the State Department giving security clearances to people whose fathers once knew a guy who knew a guy who might have given some money to the Muslim Brotherhood, HENGHHH? And then John McCain had one of his biannual decency jags, and went on the floor of the Senate and struck Michele Bachmann across the face with a glove and challenged her to a duel, for Abedin’s honor. And now Michele Bachmann is really, really butthurt that people would be so MEAN as to “distort” her McCarthyite witch-hunt letters, when all she did was call State Department employees part of the cabal of Muslin Satan! HOW DARE PEOPLE SAY MICHELE BACHMANN’S WORDS THAT SHE WROTE?

“The letters my colleagues and I sent on June 13 to the Inspectors General of the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, the Department of Defense, the Department of Homeland Security, the Department of Justice and the Department of State … are unfortunately being distorted,” Bachmann said.

Bachmann, alongside GOP Reps. Trent Franks (Ariz.), Louie Gohmert (Texas), Tom Roomey (Fla.), and Lynn Westmoreland (Ga.), issued a letter suggesting Abedin and some of her relatives are tied to the Muslim Brotherhood.

She did not mention McCain or Abedin in her statement.

“The intention of the letters was to outline the serious national security concerns I had and ask for answers to questions regarding the Muslim Brotherhood and other radical group’s access to top Obama administration officials,” Bachmann.

Bachmann said the State Department and White House had been making “dangerous national security decisions” by letting known terrorists into the country.

Ol’ Crazy Eyes for veep! Mittens, there is still time!


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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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  1. YouBetcha

    On behalf of Huma Abedin, I'd just like to say, AT LEAST MY HUSBAND FUCKS WOMEN, MICHELE. Yeah, I'm looking at you, Bachmann.

    1. deelzebub

      I'd tell Michele to eat a bag of dicks, but I don't want her to get that much nutrition. Plus, we all know Marcus would kindly offer to help her out with the chore and that asshat doesn't deserve any fun either.

  2. jodyleek

    Now old man, why don't you also apologize to the country for giving us the Tundra Twat and her Trashy Tribe? Hengh? HENNNNGGGHHH???

    1. DemmeFatale

      Game Change is on HBO right now.
      I want to retch.
      THIS is why McCain is on my "special place in Hell" shit-list, (along with Ralph Nader).

  3. emmelemm

    How many times? HOW MANY TIMES are we going to see a Republican say, "Repeating those words that I actually said is outrageous and uncalled for!"?

    Truth is an absolute defense to libel.

    The world is crazy.
    My head hurts.
    It's only Wednesday.

      1. emmelemm

        "999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall, 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 bottles of beer…."

  4. FNMA

    "Bachmann, alongside GOP Reps. Trent Franks (Ariz.), Louie Gohmert (Texas), Tom Roomey (Fla.), and Lynn Westmoreland (Ga.)…"

    Holy shit! There aren't enough pharmaceuticals in the world…

      1. YouBetcha

        Allen's invitation got lost in the mail, wouldn'tcha know. I'm sure that happens to him quite often. He's useful when they need to parade him out to say, "See! We've got a darky too!" It's not like they're going to socialize with him or invite him for dinner. That would be uncouth.

      2. sullivanst

        They were afraid he'd start mock-executing them until he was satisfied they'd given up all the names.

      3. Callyson

        Oh no–Crazy Eyes was not about to risk being outshined on the Insanity – o – meter…

      4. Biel_ze_Bubba

        They're saving him for when it's time to announce the exact number of muslin terrists in the Obama administration.

        The line in Las Vegas has it pegged at 118, as of noon today.

  5. Tundra Grifter

    This is Sen. John McCain at his finest. He is a decent person, with honor and integrity.

    I think he was a poor candidate for President and I think he would make a terrible President.

    I think he is an excellent Senator. I wouldn't want another 99 just like him in the chamber, but we do need at least a handful of conservatives who can actually think.

    No other prominent Republican figure has had the guts to stand up and say this. And – forgive me for repeating myself – (r)Money would have a much easier road today if five years ago when the garbage began flying about Mr. Obama not being a Christian a few heads of the GNoP had said "Cut that out. It's unAmerican."

    1. actor212

      In fairness to McCain, he actually did say just about that.

      And trust me, while I disagree with the extent of your positivity about McCain, I can agree that there are times he almost….almost…makes sense.

      1. emmelemm

        Agreed. He has, and continues to display, moments – brief – of lucidity and decency. But since campaigning for President, he's also done some abso-smurfing-lutely terrible things that merit no indulgence.

        Long before he was running for Pres, when I had no idea who he was (other than being a Republican Senator), I saw him either on The Tonight Show or David Letterman (can't remember which), and he was basically saying he'd been to Alaska or northern Canada or something and seen icebergs melting, and he could not deny that global warming was real. At the time, I thought, "Wow, a Republican who actually considers the facts, and says something that's not the party line? He's not such a bad guy." Then, running for President, he's all "Global warming no exist HEEENNGGGAAAAARRGGLLLLL spittle fleck". That's -100 integrity points right there.

      2. NellCote71

        I agree on that. He had his finest hours when he told the crazy bedhead lady that Obama was not a Muslin. Or Lenin, either.

    2. Terry

      John McCain embraced and endorsed GW Bush after Bush's staff ran a smear campaign in South Carolina that featured McCain's adopted daughter. McCain lost what was left of his honor that day.

      He can suck dead sheep sideways, imho.

    3. sullivanst

      He is occasionally a decent person, with honor and integrity.

      Other times, he votes against MLK day, or for staying in Iraq forever, or against sex. ed., or for "if you can't speak English, shut up".

      He is not an excellent Senator, except when compared to the rest of his caucus.

        1. sullivanst

          Hmm, "Rainman" takes on a whole other meaning when you consider Walnuts' flying career, doesn't it?

      1. Tundra Grifter

        "I don't think it's quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip-up". ~ Gen. Buck Turgidson

        1. Angry_Marmot

          "Tell you what you do: you just start your countdown, and old Walnuts'll be back here before you can say 'Blast off!'"

    4. Chet Kincaid

      But what about those disturbing flashbacks you keep having — the ones in which you and Senator McCain have been captured by the Viet Cong?!

      1. Tundra Grifter

        Yeh, they called me "Flash Back" in college. But that wasn't Nam – that was acid.

    5. Designer_Rants

      Remember that guy from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" who sprays Windex on everything as a solution to problems? That's like McCain, only instead of Windex, he wants to spray War all over everything.

  6. Wadisay

    Every cabbie at the Minneapolis airport is a Muslim. I hope the next one who picks up Michele asks her if she is in an unclean state, carrying liquor, and/or a pig.

  7. Billmatic

    Bachmann being on the Intelligence Committee is possibly the most ironic thing in the history of the world.

    1. CindynEncinitas

      Ironic and so, so terrifying. She has a dossier on all of us, Wonksters. Be very afraid.

        1. sullivanst

          Uh… Sports Illustrated libel?

          Admittedly he's not the worst Congresscritter named King (Steve is a damned good candidate for worst person ever to sit in Congress, and no, I didn't forget about Strom Thurmond or Preston Brooks), but an IRA supporter as chair of the fucking Homeland Security Committee? For shame!

  8. mavenmaven

    McCain, RINO. A true teabagging conservative hates all browns, yellows, and off whites, all the time.

  9. actor212

    It's OK. Diet Coke has officially been established as "not food".

    EDIT Oh surrrrrrrrrrrrrrre, leave MY comment to get the ire of Al Qaeda up on its own….

  10. Extemporanus

    Because if there's one person you want fighting for you, it's John "5 Planes" McCain.

  11. MissTaken

    McCain must be worried about his karma after inflicting the Snowbilly on us. That's the only excuse I can come up with for his reasonable reaction to Michele.

    Or he's trying to bang Huma.

    1. Fraudulently_Joe

      What are you talking about, Snowbilly was clearly the best candidate. McCain even said so!

      The most amazing thing about that remark was that it would have been effortless to spin that into a positive defense of his pick of The Grifty One, without having it also be a sick burn on Romney (along the lines of, "The country was in a different place four years ago, I picked the right candidate for that moment in time. It's four years later, and things are different, but not better. Mitt Romney is the right candidate for this moment."). Point being, either nobody on his staff looked over McCain's notes for that presser, or he did it on purpose.

      1. imissopus

        Or they did look over his notes but he's a grouchy, senile old guy who half the time doesn't know what he is saying and just had a Grandpa Simpson moment. Again.

    2. kittensdontlie

      What's a guy to do? Snowbilly shot him down cold, so he is movin' on…he'll be vetting her good if he gets a chance, if you know what I mean…

  12. flamingpdog


    Much better other people say them than we have to listen to her say them.

  13. Estproph

    "Bachmann, alongside GOP Reps. Trent Franks (Ariz.), Louie Gohmert (Texas), Tom Roomey (Fla.), and Lynn Westmoreland (Ga.)…"

    At least the nation's straight jacket manufacturers are doing well in this economy.

  14. SorosBot

    "The intention of the letters was to outline the serious national security concerns I had"

    But she doesn't have any serious national security concerns; just paranoid imaginary concerns.

    1. CindynEncinitas

      The intention she had was staying in the news. End of story. Why oh why didn't her parents just slap her back into reality every time she went for negative attention?

    2. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Bachmann is the one rep that I am pretty well positive thinks Oliver Stone's "JFK" was based on absolute fact and watches it constantly for conspiratorial clues. By the way…the Military Channel had an absolute DOOZY of a documentary on yesterday: "The Nazi UFO Conspiracy" which features some crazy guy who thinks the Nazi's made contact with Aliens and were building secret flying saucers…no word on if Glenn Beck hosted or narrated or if Obama was the Alien leader…it's O/T but I couldn't resist. Oh, and while Bachmann is completely crazy Steve King is just a bigoted WASP asshole…

  15. imissopus

    We're not saying Huma Abedin's family is a bunch of America-hating Muslim fanatics. We are simply concerned because some have raised the questions, and it would be irresponsible not to follow up on whatever our constituents' cats are telling them by beaming their crazy cat-thoughts directly into peoples' brains. Kind of like it would be irresponsible to not raise the question of just how much of his money Mitt Romney has invested in international child-prostitution trafficking.

    1. Chet Kincaid

      According to one unsourced blog, Mitt Romney has an underground, professionally-equipped barber salon in every one of his mansions. Another blog — one that has not yet been ruled libelous — published a copy of two different Bain shipping manifests for the same container: one lists "dressage horses, 1 pair", the other lists "teen Peruvian boys; long hair".

      1. imissopus

        Mitt has a thing for long-haired creatures he can dress in cute outfits and force to prance around for his amusement. I think it makes sense that he would accept either dressage horses or dusky-hued South American teens for this purpose. In fact it is so sensible that it must be true.

        1. Chet Kincaid

          But don't you see? He has an estimated 23 to 27 hidden barber salons, yet he employs no barbers! This suggests that his high school coiffure deviance has continued to this day!

          1. imissopus

            My God. Why have I not seen any of this speculation in the MSM? Are they in the tank for Romney? How high does the conspiracy to not baselessly speculate about his sick behavior go?

  16. widestanceromance

    Is he still trying to be the media cupcake he once was? Let me know when he says he'll see her next Tuesday.

          1. widestanceromance

            Back in his cupcake days, yes. Nowadays, don't know. Or is 'ranch' a euphemism? I'm too grossed out to speculate now.

  17. coolhandnuke

    If you wanna bake a fruitcake, you've gotta crack a few walnuts.
    Or is it; if you wanna crack a fruitcake, get walnuts baked.

  18. BloviateMe

    Great speech…that was like a delightful flashback to the days when I disagreed with, but respected McCain.

    I hope he doesn't say anything else for a while, so I can enjoy this for a bit.

    1. Lynne

      Yeah, there was once a time long long ago in a galaxy far away that I respected John McCain too. Got to admit though, it's the first time in a very long time that I have listened to an entire Republican speech.

  19. owhatever

    Not paying attention to Crazy Eyes has risks. Just as she forecast in a seance back in the day, Ook il Jung Sin Kim Dong Ding Moon, owner of the Washington Times, was made chief percolator of all things in North Koran today. Mitt called to congratulate him and send him a like-new horse as a gift.

  20. SorosBot

    Funny that she hasn't called for an investigation into national security concerns regarding Rep. Peter King, R-NY, who has actually given money to the IRA, an actual terrorist group.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Actually, I was amazed that Peter King wasn't a part of this group of goobers that sent the letters. I guess even he has standards.

  21. fartknocker

    When Louie Gohmert and Michele Bachmann are on the same Senate committee, I expect nothing but projectile vomiting of utter, unsubstantiated horse shit.

  22. BaldarTFlagass

    “The letters my colleagues and I sent … are unfortunately being distorted,” Bachmann said."

    "Distorted" is a nice word to use for your delusional fantasies, One-L.

    1. bikerlaureate

      Remember when there were at least a few journalists who would keep asking for an explanation – until she explained the distortions?
      I miss that.

  23. neiltheblaze

    Every now and then John McCain has a moment of clarity. Then the moment passes and he starts forgetting where he put his shoes again.

  24. neiltheblaze

    "Your comment must be approved by the site admins before it will appear publicly."

    I've died and gone to Huff Po!!!1!

  25. SheriffRoscoe

    I imagine it must be very liberating to have one's insanity out there for all to see, with the only real consequence being re-elected to office.

    1. Extemporanus

      It's not unlike a nursing home nude talent competition, only with more voting irregularities and ventriloquism.

  26. Manhattan123

    This probably all came about because Marcus is still fuming he wasn't on Anthony Wiener's Twitpic list so he's been badmouthing the wife to ol' crazy eyes.

  27. Texan_Bulldog

    Walnuts called Crazy Eye's letter 'scurrilous' — love it. Maybe Cindy (or Lindsey) gave him some last night.

  28. Barrelhse

    The Goddamned Xtians are really trying to impose themselves on our country. The anti-muslim shit was drummed-up by the Cheney crowd to suck in the stupid and gullible for political purposes, but at the same time it has given the religious fanatics some agar to grow in.
    I feel that a good part of the anti-teacher bullshit is to create an atmosphere that encourages "charter" (Christian values) schools. Texas is well on the way, of course, leading the charge to the bottom.

  29. weejee

    And where in the GeeOhPee Convention Schedule is Mittens going to put She1ey and Lou Sarah? Mmmmmm, maybe have them on for a screech fest at about 4:00 AM EDT, followed by Terry Jones leading a torchlight parade of burning Qur'ans?

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Hopefully Terry will be dressed up as Graham Chapman's screechy Jewish mother when he leads that parade.

    2. actor212

      Palin was not invited to the convention. Since she is not a sitting elected official nor is she on the Alaskan delegate slate, well, she's shit outta luck

  30. sullivanst

    This guy would've made a viable Presidential candidate. Where was he four years ago?

        1. BornInATrailer

          Oh right..

          I think I black out that info every time it is presented. Does not compute.

  31. Allmighty_Manos

    Bachmann's letter is more meaningful when you read it along with the Looney Toons theme song.

  32. chascates

    I have very serious concerns that Michele Bachmann might have access to top, mid-level, or even bottom administration officials. She is a walking national security concern. When she opens her mouth she weakens the nation. If it wouldn't violate the Wonkette Rules of Propriety I would suggest placing her head atop Lady Liberty's torch as a warning to those who might harm us. However I realize the impact this might have on tourism to our national symbol so let's just ignore this stupid bitch from now on.

  33. SayItWithWookies

    As I was informed by a manager I had a little run-in with yesterday, sometimes there is no greater slander than quoting someone's own words right back at them. I also learned that one shouldn't really wear that much makeup when one is angry at me, because I have a hard time thinking of anything but a psychotic clown, which distracts me from the serious point she was trying to make.

  34. Fairtackle

    Some might consider having an insane person on the House Intelligence Committee to be a threat to national security.

  35. gullywompr

    Bachmann, alongside GOP Reps. Trent Franks (Ariz.), Louie Gohmert (Texas), Tom Roomey (Fla.), and Lynn Westmoreland (Ga.),

    There's your real cabal right there.

  36. docterry6973

    What can Mittens possibly do at the convention to give these ass-wipe teabaggers a satisfying moment in the sun? I won't watch it, but I am waiting for it.

  37. NYNYNYjr

    "Bachmann, alongside GOP Reps. Trent Franks (Ariz.), Louie Gohmert (Texas), Tom Roomey (Fla.), and Lynn Westmoreland (Ga.)"

    The members of the "special" caucus write a letter together and send it.

  38. coolhandnuke

    Even an old, broken sundial, cracked by the Arizona sun, is correct twice a day.
    *This excludes Jan Brewer, Sheriff Piehole and Jon Kyl.

      1. coolhandnuke

        Oh sure, next you'll tell me that Arizona has a petrified forest, a crater of the moon, a grand canyon and four corners.And you're prolly one of those Copernicus enthusiasts.

        1. rickmaci

          Are you sitting down? Guess what, the earth is round!! But don't tell anyone in Arizona. It will make them afraid they will fall off the face of the earth and I don't think they can handle the whole gravity thing.

          1. coolhandnuke

            I'm wearing my gravity boots and hanging from my root cellar slurping my kool-aid through a sippee cup…mums the word on the round earth thing, I think they built a long fence in 'Zona to prevent them from falling off.

  39. rickmaci

    Well if a purty girl can't get an old sugar daddy to white knight for her, well then this country is far worse off than I thought.

    1. sullivanst

      I think I may have heard of a service facilitating such arrangements. If only I could remember what it was called…

  40. OneYieldRegular

    Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give Michelle Bachmann words and she'll hang herself with them for a lifetime.

  41. JustPixelz

    While she's at it, Bachmann and her cohorts should call for an investigation into attempts by some in government to enforce Catholic Doctrine through U.S. laws regarding contraception and abortion rights. Also, let's take a look at how evangelical Christians are attempting to brainwash children into disbelief in scientific facts about evolution, climate change and science. Your move Michele.

  42. gingerland62

    "First Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (who sits on the House Intelligence Committee)"

    Sometimes you can laugh at irony, other times it makes you cry.

  43. Tundra Grifter

    Sheer InSannity will have Ole Crazy Eyes on his show tomorrow (07/19) for some of his patented Republican rehab.

    Works better tha Marcus' de-gay programming.

  44. Fluffy_Kitties

    "Scurrilous Bachmann" has a nice ring to it, don't you think? Kind of rolls off the tongue, much like "Calamity Jane" or "Yosemite Sam".

  45. clblabin

    "At long last, my friend, have you no sense of decency, HENGH?" *Weird smile, falls asleep*

  46. fuflans

    damn. i feel a little teary. and no, i'm not ever forgetting 2008 and the fact that in fit of pique, jammikin foisted hillbilly grifter on us.

    but. good to know there are good instincts in many of us.

  47. redarmyzombie

    No, Bachmann, the only thing that's distorted here is your view of reality, you vile, screeching death-hag.

    And dear god, does McCain have some sort of dual-personality syndrome? An evil twin? Maybe his pod-person personality was suppressed for a few blissful moments…

  48. elburritodeluxe

    She is the better politician for getting more talking points into her statement than Walnuts.

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