Luke Skywalker Knows A Droid When He Sees One *Cough Mitt Romney Cough*

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Mitt Romney (left) and Mark HamillOne thing we can learn about Mark Hamill, superhotty of the year, 1977: man likes to talk! About politics, about lemonade, about Mitt Romney, about droids, about Zorro, about Mitt Romney, about droids …

“I knew nothing about Mexican history or anything. But just the idea of a privileged person fighting for the underdog – there’s something very romantic about that,” Hamill told OnTheRedCarpet.com. “I guess it goes back to Robin Hood. People that are fighting for the middle class and for the Have-Nots. It’s something that we see even playing out in the presidential race.”

“And if you don’t vote for Barack Obama, you’re insane,” he added. ”Cause without him, I think the middle class will completely disappear. And you look at Romney and I’m sure he’s a nice guy, but I think he’s like The Thing – he only imitates human behavior. He’s not actually human himself.”

[OnTheRedCarpet, via Wonkette operative "lettuceprey"]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 146 comments }

freakishlywrong July 18, 2012 at 1:28 pm

"He is not the droid we're looking for"

va_real July 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm

He's the droid we want to avoid.

sullivanst July 18, 2012 at 1:42 pm

He makes me a noid.

va_real July 18, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Anabolic steroids?

Blunderthing July 18, 2012 at 1:40 pm

He's the droid who gets really annoyed and wants the middle class utterly destroyed.

WhatTheHeck July 18, 2012 at 1:46 pm

c-creepio?

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Oh man, I want to have sex with this comment.

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Fuck, he's not even the droid the Emperor is looking for.

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Well, I like Luke Skywalker a whole lot better than Arpaio's rentboy, Chachi!

johnnymeatworth July 18, 2012 at 1:29 pm

How many years worth of tax returns did Darth Vader release during the Sith Lord approval hearings?

Terry July 18, 2012 at 1:31 pm

None. The Sith Lord started to choke as he began asking Vader for the returns.

emmelemm July 18, 2012 at 1:35 pm

FTW.

ManchuCandidate July 18, 2012 at 1:42 pm

The Death Star was a capital loss so he didn't need to pay any taxes.

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 1:54 pm

The Death Star was built in Bermuda?

cletar July 18, 2012 at 11:27 pm

I find your lack of tax returns disturbing.

Oblios_Cap July 18, 2012 at 1:29 pm

And you look at Romney and I’m sure he’s a nice guy, but I think he’s like The Thing – he only imitates human behavior. He’s not actually human himself.”

An amazingly astute observation by one of those elitist Hollywood types.

el_donaldo July 18, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Mark Hamill? Are we sure that's not Tom Arnold?

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Cut the man some slack: if you lost half your face in a car accident, you'd be pretty bloated too

Or, to put it in nerdspeak: "When fifty years old *you* reach, look as good *you* will not, hmm?"

emmelemm July 18, 2012 at 2:16 pm

I buhleeve he is 60. Don't quote me on that.

el_donaldo July 18, 2012 at 2:34 pm

It's been a long time.

bikerlaureate July 18, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Wikipedia agrees with you.

Dashboard Buddha July 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Oh dear…calling people insane while at a comic-con.

va_real July 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

For your RDA of irony.

johnnyzhivago July 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm

MittBott's beverage identification routines were corrupted when they uploaded the donut recognition software.

ChernobylSoup July 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm

I think we all know whose side the Force is on.

Jus_Wonderin July 18, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Right Wing name calling in….3….2…1…

ChernobylSoup July 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Oh, then it will be ON. Nobody, and I mean Nofuckingbody, says shit about Luke Skywalker in my America.

emmelemm July 18, 2012 at 1:53 pm

I'm in your posse.

Boredw/Gravitas July 18, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Then let's check out some birth certificates after that.

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Man, he was so good in "Corvette Summer."

prommie July 18, 2012 at 1:55 pm

As good as Ron Howard in Eat My Dust.

iburl July 18, 2012 at 1:31 pm

The Force is strong in this one.

freakishlywrong July 18, 2012 at 1:31 pm

With apologies to C-3PO.

edgydrifter July 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Hamill's got it all figured out. Romney has to destroy the middle class so that there will be more peasants for him to save. He's a romnantic hero.

SexySmurf July 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm

What's a Star Wars? Is that like a spinoff of Storage Wars?

CrunchyKnee July 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm

I'm sure most wing nuts like the last few Star Wars movies the best anyways.

bonghitforjesus July 18, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Wingnuts love Jar Jar Binks!

bumfug July 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm

As long as there's no big dramatic moment where I find out Mitt's my dad.

LettucePrey July 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Holy shit, one of my tips finally made it through!

You like me, you really like me!

Mumbletypeg July 18, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Lettuce now praise LettucePrey! ~

Extemporanus July 18, 2012 at 1:52 pm

It must've been the green nail polish that did it.

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 1:59 pm

She showed her tits. Works every time

LettucePrey July 18, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Apparently you gotta drink with these people to get them to notice you!! Grandma was right.

bobbert July 18, 2012 at 6:36 pm

The green bikini couldn't hurt, amirite?

Extemporanus July 18, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Fukui-San would beg to differ with you, sir.

(You had to be there…but weren't, so HA-ha!)

johnnyzhivago July 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Since Darth Vader was like Hitler it makes Mark Hamill the Son of Hitler!

Goonemeritus July 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm

I don’t know if a political endorsement by an actor whose main film role had him frenching his sister helps us

Geminisunmars July 18, 2012 at 1:52 pm

It plays in Appalachia.

prommie July 18, 2012 at 1:57 pm

God, you have elicited long-forgotten memories of youth! I have not used "french" as a verb since 7th grade!

Goonemeritus July 18, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Why when I grew up that’s what all the kids called it, whether they wore an onion on their belt or not.

prommie July 18, 2012 at 2:14 pm

I never did figure out what "necking" and "heavy petting" were.

Goonemeritus July 18, 2012 at 2:20 pm

As an Engineering student I was in possession of a rigorous analytical description of both including stick figure diagrams indicating motion but I rarely got to make use of the knowledge.

Chill_Bill July 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Luke also knows a thing or two about daddy issues.

emmelemm July 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

I am now in love with old, chubby, non-good-looking Mark Hamill.

Look at him, referencing The Thing! Adorbs!!!!!

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Man, I thought he was talking about Ben Grimm, not John Carpenter. Thanks for pointing that out!

Oblios_Cap July 18, 2012 at 2:38 pm

A fellow comics nerd!

Isyaignert July 18, 2012 at 3:36 pm

"Adorbs" what a great word!!! Yay!

emmelemm July 18, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I believe it comes from CuteOverload commenters.

SmutBoffin July 18, 2012 at 1:35 pm

The Romney camp instantly demanded an apology, saying: "[The Candidate's] empathy subsystems are at maximum output. One would have to have been hit on the head multiple times by an abominable Hoth monster in order to not recognize the concern Mitt has for the well-being of the spice miners and moisture farmers of Our Great Empire."

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering – yep, sounds like the tea party right there.

HogeyeGrex July 18, 2012 at 1:56 pm

And that's just the official platform.

radio-of-owls July 18, 2012 at 1:36 pm

While I deeply respect Mark Hamill's insights into contemporary American and international politics, I for one will withhold judgment until the equally influential public intellectual Isaac Washington weighs in.

elburritodeluxe July 18, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Mark Hamill will have to answer for his outrageous comment about Mittens. Not just to the American People, but also to Mr. Scott Baio, as well.

JustPixelz July 18, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Scoptt Baio = Death Star*
_______________________________
* former star, now nothingburger

MissTaken July 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

I guess Ann Romney won't be wearing the slave bikini after all.

va_real July 18, 2012 at 1:42 pm

It just didn't look right with all that gold jewelry.

WhatTheHolyHeck July 18, 2012 at 4:55 pm

You never know. Chris Christie hasn't given up on capturing her just yet.

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Bah, I hear he was friends with a deadbeat smuggler who refused to pay his debts to the job creator Jabba the Hutt!

Allmighty_Manos July 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Of course the big difference is that the Thing was able to do a pretty convincing imitation of a human.

noodlesalad July 18, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Limbaugh the Hutt will be throwing Mark to the rancors shortly.

OneYieldRegular July 18, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Clearly it was part of a vast left-wing conspiracy against Mitt Romney that Mark Hamill was selected to play Luke Skywalker decades ago.

didgen July 18, 2012 at 1:38 pm

This is why my personal space encompasses the exact distance that my hearing covers. Even if I totally agree with you, that would drive me insane.

satyricrash July 18, 2012 at 1:39 pm

But I was going to Toshi station to stash hundreds of millions of dollars in undeclared income!

noodlesalad July 18, 2012 at 1:42 pm

FTW

FlownOver July 18, 2012 at 4:31 pm

You can waste time with your bundlers later.

viennawoods13 July 19, 2012 at 1:27 am

You better have those voting machines on the south ridge fixed by November or there'll be hell to pay.

Joshua Norton July 18, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Luke Skywalker Knows A Droid When He Sees One *Cough Mitt Romney Cough*

R2D-Bag

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 1:43 pm

R2 has a hell of a lot more humanity and empathy than Mittens.

Hammiepants July 18, 2012 at 1:40 pm

If Mittens was a Star Wars film, he would definitely be "Return of the Jedi". That was all about merchandising the shit out of a really obnoxious product too.

metamarcisf July 18, 2012 at 1:40 pm

In my book, Mark Hamill will always be THE Joker.

Fraudulently_Joe July 18, 2012 at 2:04 pm

I love that he shook off the very real danger of being serially typecast in science fiction flicks only to go into voice acting and get serially typecast as cackling maniacs instead.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 18, 2012 at 4:26 pm

I was going to go with "Can you Believe this Joker!?" sort of thing, but you beat me by hours.

RadioSlut July 18, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Welcome to Planet Nerd.

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Has Mark been taking voice lessons from Harvey Fierstein?

MissTaken July 18, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Presidential Debate Question #1:

Did Han shoot first?

bonghitforjesus July 18, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Yes. Debate over.

UnholyMoses July 18, 2012 at 5:04 pm

But only in the original not-filled-with-stupid-and-useless-bullshit-updates one. The newer versions have Greedo shooting first.

The only thing that keeps me from hating George Lucas with every fiber of my being is the fact he gave the Robot Chicken folks the rights to do their thing with Star Wars.

And, boy, did they ever …

KeepFnThatChicken July 18, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Nerdy as hell, but i bet he gets more sex than Wilt Chamberlain.

FlownOver July 18, 2012 at 4:32 pm

These days, anyway.

ManchuCandidate July 18, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Barry shot first!! (and boy did he.)

MissTaken July 18, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I read on the internet that Romney was involved in an Ewok sex ring and that's why he won't release his tax returns.

emmelemm July 18, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Yub NUB!

freakishlywrong July 18, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I'm waiting for Triumph the Insult Comic Dog to weigh in.

owhatever July 18, 2012 at 1:46 pm

OT Presidential Debate Question:

How is Ann's horse?

KeepFnThatChicken July 18, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Glue, dog food or Jello? (an allegory to "Fuck, Marry, Kill" for horse people)

Geminisunmars July 18, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Follow up question:

How is Ann's horse's ass?

SayItWithWookies July 18, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Well — that explains why Mitt stays outside and powers down when everyone goes to the cantina.

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Meanwhile Anne Romney is raising dewbacks for the Tattoine Olympic Dressage competition.

JustPixelz July 18, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Michele Bachmann's response:

Mesa cause one, two-y little bitty axadentes, huh? Yud say boom de gasser, den crashin der bosses heyblibber, den banished.

ChernobylSoup July 18, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Obama, a Trekie, endorsed by a Star Wars idol. Is there nothing this man cannot do?

mavenmaven July 18, 2012 at 1:50 pm

I want whatever he's on.

FakaktaSouth July 18, 2012 at 1:50 pm

I am still a Han Solo girl, but I do like the way Luke talks. I am glad they put his face all back together that time he crashed it up.

Also, what does Jason Bateman say? We've almost covered all of my adolescent hot guys, lets do him next.

OurHoboSenator July 18, 2012 at 1:53 pm

I am so (retroactively) ashamed to admit I had a huge crush on Kirk Cameron when I was a teenager.

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Well I had a crush on his sister (from Full House), who is apparently just as bad but not as well known.

FakaktaSouth July 18, 2012 at 1:57 pm

The Cameron sister who was bulimic or the show one who was bulimic AND a meth head? Either way, I'd rather date either ONE of them than whatever this is KC has turned into. Shut up and just shut up some more.

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 2:05 pm

The oldest one, his real-life sister who as far as I know was not a meth-head but is a Jesus head and activist in favor of home-brainwashing-and-lying-schooling. The former meth-head middle kid from that show turned out much more well adjusted and normal.

prommie July 18, 2012 at 2:00 pm

But aren't we all really just waiting for Jimmy JJ Walker to tell us who is the most Dy-No-Mite candidate?

FakaktaSouth July 18, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Only if Raj can ask "what's happening?" first.

Fraudulently_Joe July 18, 2012 at 2:07 pm
prommie July 18, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I heard Han Solo is always stroking his own wookie. The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire. . . .

FakaktaSouth July 18, 2012 at 2:21 pm

HIS OWN? Oh lord, not if I was around. That is a travesty.

Isyaignert July 18, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I told my husband that if young James Garner comes to the door, he has to get lost for a couple of hours and I have to do the same for him if Jane Seymour comes a knockin'.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 18, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I kind of thought of Mitt as a Jar Jar Binks kind of character only evil.

ChernobylSoup July 18, 2012 at 1:53 pm

George Lucas must have taught Romney how to retroactively fuck things up.

emmelemm July 18, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Oh, shit. That is the best comment of this week, possibly OF ALL TIME.

/Star Wars nerd

Extemporanus July 18, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Great shot, kid — that was one in a million!

bobbert July 18, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Don't get cocky.

Mumbletypeg July 18, 2012 at 1:54 pm

…I missed the racist bit?

In Hamill's early career, true, he did the northwest-Georgia patrol officer role pretty good, with a decent hick accent, even~

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Mitt responded that he always preferred The Phantom Menace anyway.

Extemporanus July 18, 2012 at 1:56 pm

The obvious takeaway from all this is that Romney's VP pick will be a short, bald, gay, non-English speaker with a dick like a third leg.

He's dooomed!

OneYieldRegular July 18, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Whew. Well I'm glad we have the sci-fi vote locked down.

rickmaci July 18, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Bet MittVader is wishing he had command of a Death Star right about now.

WIDTAP July 18, 2012 at 1:59 pm

In an equally significant endorsement, Jar Jar Binks has come out for Romney. "Eeesa BEEEG mon."

Fraudulently_Joe July 18, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Right, but Jar Jar also endorsed the Emperor, so that tells you everything you need to know about that.

ChernobylSoup July 18, 2012 at 2:00 pm

How so?

Fraudulently_Joe July 18, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Fox News Headline: The Joker endorses Barack Obama.

slowhansolo July 18, 2012 at 3:35 pm

That's almost as much win as The Animated Series.

Dr. Nick Riviera July 18, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Correction: The *best* Joker endorses Barack Obama

Fraudulently_Joe July 18, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Oh, you're trying to pick a fight with someone there, aren't you?

I honestly put Hamill, Ledger, and Nicholson in one big Joker-ey triumverate, they were all very good in very different ways, with various fidelity to the comics. Which is honestly kinda appropriate for the Joker anyway.

That said, there's no question that Kevin Conroy is the only voice of Batman, ever.

Corrugated Palin July 18, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Well, did you really expect him to get along with Bane? As the Trickster once put it, when supervillains want to scare each other, they tell Joker stories.

Recessappt July 18, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Pop Quiz:

"We don't serve their kind" is…

a) A line from Star Wars
b) A line from Mitt Romney's country club
c) All of the above

Estproph July 18, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I always figured Mitt for a couple of Jawas standing one on top of another in a human suit.

Beowoof July 18, 2012 at 2:25 pm

C3PO has more heart and balls than Rmoney. Design flaw?

Oblios_Cap July 18, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Hamill described "Sushi Girl" as "a very violent, gangster picture in the sort of Quentin Tarantino mold."

I'll have to watch that when it comes out in On Demand (for free). I can't imagine that's anywhere near as good as that classic of the cinema "Kung Fu Hustle".

slowhansolo July 18, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Red 5 is cutting across the axis, trying to draw their fire.

FlownOver July 18, 2012 at 4:36 pm

One womp rat down…

CogitoErgoSumo July 18, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Presidential Debate : Obama "If you strike me down, I shall only become more powerful than you can imagine."

valthemus July 18, 2012 at 6:34 pm

If it means wingnut conservatives will start avoiding comic book and sci-fi conventions in protest, I must insist Mr. Hamill attend each and every one.

ttommyunger July 18, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Another Solar System might be a better fit for the Mitbott 3000, no?

12X34X July 20, 2012 at 10:05 am

He nailed Romney to a T. The force must be with him.

prommie July 18, 2012 at 2:28 pm

I was an engineering student for 2 semesters. I did well enough to get accepted into the school of engineering, and after 2 semesters of statics, dynamics, physics, differential equations, and fortran programming, I had managed to pass 2 courses, and straight out flunked 6! Fucking 6 Fs in a year!

Goonemeritus July 18, 2012 at 2:36 pm

The only difference between most students that graduate with that degree and those that don’t is they just keep going. That’s why many take 6 years to graduate; BTW the first year is the worst it did get easier.

prommie July 18, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I was asked to pursue other avenues. They wished me well in my subsequent endeavours.

Oblios_Cap July 18, 2012 at 2:58 pm

"Go spend some time with your family."

Goonemeritus July 18, 2012 at 3:15 pm

My violin teacher did that to me.

Fare la Volpe July 19, 2012 at 2:43 am

Did they also pull the old "It's not you, it's us" speech?

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