THOSE WACKY GENTILES  12:40 pm July 18, 2012

Kansas Fetus Memorial To Be Classy, Jew-y

by Josh Fruhlinger

I think this is where my junior prom was heldYour Comics Curmudgeon is of Hebrew extraction, in part, and considers himself lucky to live in the time and place where he does! For instance: for most of history, if you were a Jew who encountered a really religious Christian, or a Christian really focused on Jewry, probably you were going to get forcibly converted, or ordered to live in an actual ghetto, or maybe just lynched for poisoning all the wells with bubonic plague. But in early 21st century America, more often than not, your Jew-focused gentile is more likely to talk about how neat the Chosen People are, what with their covenant with the Lord and such. Sure it’s secretly about Jesus’s long-term plan for the apocalypse, but still: beats having your village burned down by Cossacks, right? So, yes, anti-abortion nuts in Wichita are trying to build a copy of the Western Wall at some hilariously awful Kansas memorial to unborn victims of the Abortio-caust, and professionally irritated people like ADL head Abe Foxman deem this offensive, but we think it’s super hilarious.

Probably all humans should be offended by the “International Pro-Life Memorial and National Life Center” being planned in Wichita, because it is monstrously tacky, featuring what appears to be the atrium of a mid-90s suburban Radisson glommed onto a brick wall that it is intended to be an “exact replica” of the Western Wall, aka the Wailing Wall, aka the retaining wall to the Temple Mount in Jerusalem, where Jews go to pray and stick notes between the stones and such. It seems churlish to point out that the actual Western Wall does not, for instance, have a stair-stepped top, like the one in the picture above. Nor does it face a broad lawn dotted by crosses, each representing a million dead fetuses. But, you know, to each their own.

It’s also worth mentioning that the sad memorialization aspects of the Western Wall tend to be about the destruction of the Temple, rather than the Holocaust-y vibe that the International Pro-Life Memorial and National Life Center is going for. The actual Holocaust memorial in Israel, Yad Vashem, was designed by a serious modernist architect, whose aesthetic would obviously clash with the mall-class kitsch that the International Pro-Life Memorial and National Life Center feels best embodies our national grief over the dead babies.

Anyway, the Forward feels it needs to condemn this, for form’s sake, but we say: go on with your ridiculous selves, International Pro-Life Memorial and National Life Center! And the local Jewry seem to agree; when the Forward tracked down a Wichita rabbi for an outraged quote, all Michael Davis of Congregation Emanu-El could muster was this: “People are talking about it in a very dismissive, funny way.” That’s right! Because Jews invented being dismissive and funny about things that annoy us. We control it, through our Sarcasm Cabal. (Also, most people seem to think that the International Pro-Life Memorial and National Life Center will never raise enough money to be built, probably because Jews also control world finance.) [Forward; thanks to iburl on Wonkville for the tip!]

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 184 comments }

Chill_Bill July 18, 2012 at 12:42 pm

I hope they open an Abortionplex next door (and a Mormon Temple, so they can baptize the fetuses).

Terry July 18, 2012 at 12:56 pm

It would be worth it to pay for a bill board nearby saying "Coming soon! The Kansas National Abortionplex! For more information, call…" and put the phone number of the district office of one of Kansas' GOP Congressional delegation.

va_real July 18, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I'm in- where's the Pay Pal clicky thing?

Chill_Bill July 18, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I tried to set up a Kickstarter, but somehow it didn't get approved.

larrykat July 18, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Might be pregnant,
Sure seems crazy
But I live in Kansas….
so abort me maybe…

Barb July 18, 2012 at 12:42 pm

I didn't abort my fetus, I just retroactively retired it.

RadioSlut July 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

I ate mine.

Barb July 18, 2012 at 12:56 pm

So good to see you! Pop an Altoid and I'll kiss you. You have baby's breath.

RadioSlut July 18, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Glad to see you back. Great to be be back. They couldn't take my nicotine, guns or Wonkette.

Barb July 18, 2012 at 1:16 pm

I have to go and do some insane hostess duties for my out-of-town guests. I will be back later. Thanks for the smile.

Dashboard Buddha July 18, 2012 at 1:08 pm

ohhhhhh!

johnnyzhivago July 18, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Is that a Bain/Stericycle delivery truck out in the back?

LettucePrey July 18, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Holocaust references arn't funny, anne frankly I dont find them entertaining.

Oblios_Cap July 18, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Dear Diary,

I never thought it would happen to me, but…

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Aww, shits. I had a good one, too.

Oblios_Cap July 18, 2012 at 1:27 pm

sorry

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 12:45 pm

And yet I'm sure the memorial will ignore the only actual victims of abortion, the heroic clinic doctors and staff who have been murdered by "pro-life" terrorists; who are not actually victims of abortion but of their fascist movement that wants to outlaw it.

Rosie_Scenario July 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm

And the women who have died from illegal abortions. But the post-born don't count do they?

glamourdammerung July 18, 2012 at 7:28 pm

I have met more than a few Christians that have tried to insist that "Thou shalt not kill" somehow means something other than do not kill people.

Chow Yun Flat July 18, 2012 at 12:47 pm

“[The Western Wall] is a place that memorializes what happened during the Holocaust,” said Pastor Mark Holick, the spokesman for the anti-abortion project.

Pastor Mark Holick should lick a ho.

va_real July 18, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Last I heard, the Western Wall predates the Shoah by quite a few years?

guangho July 18, 2012 at 4:21 pm

The fundy grasp of Jewry is kinda loose. There are these fellows named Lahayne and Jenkins who write apocalpsy books where the yids go to jerusalem to wait for j.c. to make a comeback (contract negotiations are pending but he'll probably choose the Lakers) and my god those yids are stereotyped to the max.

SayItWithWookies July 18, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Wow. In much the same way that Stonehenge memorializes the Battle of Britain.

pdiddycornchips July 18, 2012 at 1:42 pm

The jews are so awesome for getting King Harod to build a memorial to a historical event that would happen two thousand years later.

Oblios_Cap July 18, 2012 at 12:47 pm

I guess living in Kansas makes it easy for you to believe that the earth is flat.

sezme July 18, 2012 at 12:47 pm

They can build a fake wall if they want to. Just as long as I can stil buy fetus keychains in the gift shop.

Oblios_Cap July 18, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Kansas Fetus Centre?

What's with all the KFC references lately?

IncenseDebate July 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

How else will they fetus?

IonaTrailer July 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Ba-bomp-ching!

Generation[redacted] July 18, 2012 at 12:56 pm

I suspect they're going to double-down on this issue.

va_real July 18, 2012 at 12:56 pm

I think the guy in charge of KFC's product placement has some substance abuse issues.

RedneckMuslin July 18, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Don't lick your fingers!

Self-Uploader July 18, 2012 at 12:49 pm

oy vey iz mir!

coolhandnuke July 18, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Fred Phelps will cut the ceremonial ribbon/umbilical cord.

ChernobylSoup July 18, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Bain just secured the center's waste removal contract.

Beowoof July 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Well glad to see they have nothing better to do, than piss off Jews. I do find their attempts at promoting their particular mythology getting more and more desperate as more and more people think these people are full of shit. And I say that a German-Irish Jew.

policonoclast July 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

No mention of a gun mart and ammo range? Bah, these folks are losing their edge.

RedneckMuslin July 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Wow! A Dead Fetus Hall Of Fame.

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Are Jarbara Bush and Gabrielle Santorum there?

Dashboard Buddha July 18, 2012 at 1:11 pm

This is Timmy – possible future Pulitzer prize winner

This is Suzie – 100 Ethiopian children might have been saved had she grown up and become a doctor.

This is Alberto – Possible future president of El Salvador (we deported his parents).

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 1:14 pm

This is Ted – Possible future serial killer of at least 30 women.

This is Adolph – Possible future dictator responsible for genocide of 12 million undesirables and 60 million deaths in a war he started.

RedneckMuslin July 18, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Kill 'em all.

Dashboard Buddha July 18, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Agreed. Heck, thanks to Bain capital, heaven was able to outsource that whole "Let god sort them out" thing.

pdiddycornchips July 18, 2012 at 1:54 pm

No, but on the way out, every woman gets an aspirin embossed with a full color photo of a partial birth abortion to keep between her knees.

Self-Uploader July 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

I haven't felt so honored by a Christian sect since I heard the Mormons were retroactively baptizing us.

notanncoulter July 18, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I call dibs on the Starbucks[es] encompassed within.

Umm… anyone have any idea what sort of items might be displayed in this facility?

And further… have not the Mormons retro-converted all the dead, making this, in addition to REALLY tacky, pointless?

RedneckMuslin July 18, 2012 at 12:58 pm

A Bush fetus in a jar?

Generation[redacted] July 18, 2012 at 1:00 pm

You can have the Starbucks franchise, I'll take Whitecastle. I'm sure the patrons won't mind a little "pink slime" in their burgers.

Oblios_Cap July 18, 2012 at 12:51 pm

The Jews need to get on over there and nip this thing right in the bud, so to speak.

RadioSlut July 18, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Hey, you know who else was of Hebrew extraction, in part?

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Jesus?

pdiddycornchips July 18, 2012 at 1:55 pm

They don''t make jews like Jesus anymore. Snark courtesy of Kinky Friedman.

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Sammy Davis Jr.?

lunchbox360 July 18, 2012 at 1:02 pm

The General from Exodus? (not that Exodus, the movie) "He's a bit of a Jew himself you know." It came right out of Paul Newman's (also a half Jew) mouth hole.

SexySmurf July 18, 2012 at 1:02 pm

George Allen?

RedneckMuslin July 18, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Eric Cartman?

MonkeyBiz July 18, 2012 at 2:52 pm

NOT A JEW.

mwittier July 19, 2012 at 1:36 am

Maude's husband, Walter? Oh, and Rhoda! Maybe her mom, I'm not sure.

FlownOver July 18, 2012 at 12:52 pm

This is just for all of you who have commented "Your turn, Kansas." About anything.

Texan_Bulldog July 18, 2012 at 12:52 pm

When they hang pictures of aborted fetuses, I gotta think that's gonna hurt business at the Taco Bell and Village Pizza at the International Pro-Life Memorial and National Life Center Food Court.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 18, 2012 at 12:52 pm

I say we build a wall around Kansas to protect us from the stupid. It will be easy, straight lines.

FlownOver July 18, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Well, OK, as long as you make provisions for a Lawrence Airlift.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 18, 2012 at 3:15 pm

We at Wonkette never leave a man/woman behind!

FlownOver July 18, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Always with the buttsecks, these Wonketteers!

alzronnie July 18, 2012 at 12:52 pm

This would be offensive if it wasn't in Kansas. Or Salt Lake City.

Goonemeritus July 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Thank God our Abortionaplex was designed by Frank Gehry. We may be going to Hell but at least we have taste

bureaucrap July 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

"Western Wall" ™ is the trademarked intellectual property of International Judiasm, Inc., and may not be used without all living Jews' unanimous consent. Also, you must donate enough money to the UJA to plant ten trees in the REAL Israel.

Chichikovovich July 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Nor does it face a broad lawn dotted by crosses, each representing a million dead fetuses.

Each cross represents a Million ex-fetii? A million? I would have thought that each precious God-created unique blessed snowflake baby would deserve its own cross, out of love. Evidently the International Pro-life Memorial and National Life Center doesn't love the unborn all that much.

Billmatic July 18, 2012 at 12:59 pm

The rent payments were murder for a facility that large.

Generation[redacted] July 18, 2012 at 1:01 pm

So if they built an actual holocaust museum it would have, like, six crosses?

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Crosses at a Holocaust/Shoah Museum? My guess would be "not."

Chichikovovich July 18, 2012 at 1:09 pm

If the Catholic Church built it, yes.

And then the people who got upset would be taking away their precious freedom to worship.

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Well a blastocyst is about 0.1 millimeters long, so a million would take up about 1000 square millimeters, or one square meter. Sounds about right, size-wise!

Generation[redacted] July 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm

With recent advances in micro-lithography, this shouldn't be a problem to build.

Guppy July 18, 2012 at 2:08 pm

(0.1 mm)² = 0.01 mm²
0.01 mm² * 10^6 = 10^4 mm²

1 m² = (10^3 mm)² = 10^6 mm²

/nerd

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Looking back, I actually fucked up the English, but think I got the math right – it's cubic, not square, millimeters.

fuflans July 18, 2012 at 2:13 pm

that many crosses would be just tacky.

duh.

MonkeyBiz July 18, 2012 at 2:53 pm

They probably just get a bulk discount on crosses.

JustPixelz July 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

It bears a certain resemblance to another Kansas landmark building: the Abortionplex in Topeka.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/planned-parentho

va_real July 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Will there be a plaque with crosses explaining that God is the #1 abortionist?

BornInATrailer July 18, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Plaque sounds a little classy. Probably a big red and yellow McDonald's style "Y" with a rolling "XXX billions aborted" counter.

RedneckMuslin July 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Well, this has a fetid smell about it.

Dashboard Buddha July 18, 2012 at 1:11 pm

What fetid hell is this?

BarackMyWorld July 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Abortions for some, tiny American flags for others!

MonkeyBiz July 18, 2012 at 2:53 pm

And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!

Callyson July 18, 2012 at 12:56 pm

I don't even want to know what that red stain on the coathangers in the coat check room is…

va_real July 18, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Maybe they just used it to stir the red Kool Aid.

DahBoner July 19, 2012 at 6:48 am

"Sorry, we're all out of coathangers"

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2012 at 12:57 pm

You Jewish people should be a little more careful about who you let see you when you're drinking the blood of those Christian babbies.

HarryButtle July 18, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Blood libel!

No, wait…

lunchbox360 July 18, 2012 at 12:58 pm

If the goyim get any more mishugina they'e gonna plotz.

edgydrifter July 18, 2012 at 12:58 pm

There is no finer way to lament life's suffering than in an air-conditioned atrium with a Slurpee in hand, hymn-ish Muzak on the overhead speakers, and an expansive gift shop conveniently located a few waddles away.

Oblios_Cap July 18, 2012 at 1:05 pm

That's Capitalism, Komrade.

owhatever July 18, 2012 at 12:59 pm

The most popular section is the little theater that shows the film of how life begins. A buxom lass and a hung dude are screwing in a sleeping bag in Alaska. "Bristol!" he shouts at the moment of maximum pleasure. "Bristol! I'm Sarah, you jerk," shouts a familiar voice. Bristol then walks into the scene, carrying one of the many Palin babies, to give her abstinence only speech.

chicken_thief July 18, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Hung dude?! Glenn has a name, you know…

Generation[redacted] July 18, 2012 at 12:59 pm

I heard they will include an exhibit showing the attic where fetuses hid to avoid being aborted.

jodyleek July 18, 2012 at 1:13 pm

The Upper Womb?

BornInATrailer July 18, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Schindler's (Petri) Dish?

freakishlywrong July 18, 2012 at 12:59 pm

What the fuck is the matter with Kansas?

PuckStopsHere July 18, 2012 at 1:12 pm

The internet is insufficiently large to answer this question.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 18, 2012 at 2:15 pm

You could write a book.

guangho July 18, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Or two.

Crank_Tango July 18, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I got some of that Hebrew Extraction at the cannabis club and that shit fucked me up. I was shvitzing like crazy and just dying for a good gnosh.

va_real July 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Here, ketzile- have a knish.

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2012 at 1:01 pm

"a broad lawn dotted by crosses, each representing a million dead fetuses."
I bet the excitement amongst the memorial staff will be palpable, and rise and rise as they get closer and closer to being able to go out and erect another new cross.

EatsBabyDingos July 18, 2012 at 1:01 pm

As an ongoing protest site, it will have a Joe's Abortion and Plumbing Service exhibit. "Hello, Joe's Abortions. You screw 'em, we do 'em. No fetus can beat us!"

It'll be next to Joe's Garage. [humming]
We didn't have no dope or LSD but a coupla quarts of beer
would make it so the intonation would not offend your ear.

Unlike this.

freakishlywrong July 18, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Will the International Pro-Life Memorial and National Life Center actually acknowledge a full grown gestating female person?

Rosie_Scenario July 18, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Now that's funny!

IncenseDebate July 18, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Kansas might get this but never a decent bagel.

MonkeyBiz July 18, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Or a decent deli.

Dashboard Buddha July 18, 2012 at 1:04 pm

OT – can someone tell me where to find a shopped Bane mask? I'm too lazy to trim it for my own uses.

BornInATrailer July 18, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Most depressing gift shop ever?

Dashboard Buddha July 18, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Heh….fetuses in clear plastic paperweights.

Dashboard Buddha July 18, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Awesome…a fetus museum. Will Bush (Santorum? – I can't keep up with the crazy) donate the Fetus-in-a-Jar?

Grief_Lessons July 18, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Build that wall out of fetuses and you've really got something.

Oblios_Cap July 18, 2012 at 1:12 pm

A wall of fetii would surely fail.

chicken_thief July 18, 2012 at 1:43 pm

If I'd only known, I could have saved and donated all the almost fetuses housed in crusty socks over the years. Those would have made a cool wall.

Baba_NinjaCat12 July 18, 2012 at 1:08 pm

So when are they going to sell the Unborn Flyer, seen on Jay Leno, at their gift shop?

poorgradstudent July 18, 2012 at 1:09 pm

It's also funny because the teachings of Judaism (like really most religions until the Catholics got a dead fetus in their bonnet about abortion and politically savvy American Protestants in the late 20th century thought it would be cool to go along) are pretty explicit about the fetus not being a human. Hell, rabbinic law actually mandates abortion if the mother's life is in any way endangered by the pregnancy.

Oh but I forget in modern America religious freedum means the freedom to know that (21st century free market Jesus-brand conservative evangelical Protestant) Christianity is really right about everything.

PubOption July 18, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Yes, freedom, to wingnuts, doesn't include the freedom to disagree.

MissTaken July 18, 2012 at 1:09 pm

What's most shocking to me about this is it's 2012 and Kansas is only *now* getting around to building a memorial to dead fetii.

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Someone must have noticed the many states building creationist "museums" and figured they had to top them in dumbassness.

Jus_Wonderin July 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm

This does bring new meaning to the Loretta Lynn classic "Here in Topeka".

pdiddycornchips July 18, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I love fetii, not just in greek salads. It's really good on home made pizza.

va_real July 18, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I assume the entire complex has hoveround access?

Guppy July 18, 2012 at 2:13 pm

The ADA is socialist!

SayItWithWookies July 18, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Whatever the pro-life peoples' original intent, this strikes me as a memorial to the people who should've been aborted but weren't.

Nostrildamus July 18, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I don't think the real Western Wall has a Thomas Kinkade mural on it either.

Generation[redacted] July 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

If you look at the Kinkade painting of the western wall, you'll see that it definitely does. It also glows.

mavenmaven July 18, 2012 at 1:47 pm

"Wailing Wall of Light"

OneYieldRegular July 18, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Haven't the Jews suffered enough?

HarryButtle July 18, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Abe Foxman? Isn't he the sausage king of Chicago?

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Man, that place has a lot of atriums. Atria?

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 18, 2012 at 1:14 pm

I am imagining a giant bronze statue of a fetus. On a horse.

iburl July 18, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Tell Chris Christie not to worry, it's not a Whaling Wall.

Spurning Beer July 18, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Israel and fundamentalist Christians have a mutually beneficial arrangement going on.

IonaTrailer July 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm

"Calling the Christian faith’s New Testament a “despicable book,” a right-wing Israeli lawmaker tore up a copy of the biblical text and threw it in a trash can as one of his aides took pictures that he later released to Israeli media."

Spurning Beer July 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

I saw that. It's hard to mix different flavors of fundamentalism, I guess.

IonaTrailer July 18, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Well, God told them they were right. Maybe God is just a big joker, and he's fuckin' with them.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 18, 2012 at 6:21 pm

I bet He says that to all the guys.

el_donaldo July 18, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Shouldn't they be representing all the world religions then? Will they put green crescents and stars in all the urinals and toilets?

JustPixelz July 18, 2012 at 1:19 pm

"…the actual Western Wall does not … have a stair-stepped top…"

Also, the top of the Western Wall is the edge of the al Aqsa Mosque complex — the Dome of the Rock. I assume there's also a mosque as part of the "exact replica", but just out of sight in the drawing.

The project will cost $20 and $40 million. Imagine how many living children could be saved with that money. (It costs about 20cents a day to feed a third world child, so $20million = 100million meals.)

Most off-putting is the 60 crosses each representing one million "little baby boys and girls … murdered since 1973 in America alone". As if every (sad) abortion in America is of a Christian.

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2012 at 1:28 pm

"little baby boys and girls … murdered since 1973 in America alone".

I guess if you were aborted before 1973, you're chopped liver.

Generation[redacted] July 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

There were no abortions before 1973. Making them illegal completely stops the practice. Everyone knows that!

Biel_ze_Bubba July 18, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Those third-world kids are already borned, so, fuck 'em.

Estproph July 18, 2012 at 1:20 pm

That thing looks like an Ohio Turnpike service center!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Ohio_Turnpike_S

jacqfire July 18, 2012 at 3:10 pm

OMG I knew that looked familiar!

RadioSlut July 18, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Wait, you had an abortion there too?

Estproph July 18, 2012 at 3:35 pm

no, I just performed them. While drinking the blood of virgins.

Midway117 July 18, 2012 at 6:10 pm

That's a really de-fetus attitude.

FlownOver July 18, 2012 at 7:24 pm

You shoulda seen the original design – the Fetusphere™!

IonaTrailer July 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Wait until these good Christians hear about those ungrateful Jews tearing up the New Testament in Israel:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/world_now/2012/07

Hammiepants July 18, 2012 at 1:24 pm

"Wichita Rabbi" is an oxymoron, isn't it, like "pregnant virgin"?

Spurning Beer July 18, 2012 at 1:26 pm

You're forgetting Glen Campbell's classic "Wichita Rebbe."

Biel_ze_Bubba July 18, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Wait … the Wichita Weinman was a rebbe?

Finally, an explanation of the lyric "I can hear you through the whine."

chicken_thief July 18, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Mary libelz!!!!!!

Generation[redacted] July 18, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I'm looking forward to hearing about the resistance, a group of brave fetuses who took up arms against their oppressors.

They're also planning a remake of Casablanca with an all-fetus cast.

sullivanst July 18, 2012 at 1:26 pm

The Jews must've borrowed Mitts' time machine to retroactively build the Western Wall Holocaust Memorial.

Generation[redacted] July 18, 2012 at 1:28 pm

"I'll take a lot of credit for that!" -Mittens

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Wait, I thought it was Obama that had the time machine. Or maybe that was just his handlers.

sullivanst July 18, 2012 at 1:40 pm

That's just the grand conspiracy behind him.

jzgplj July 18, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Looks to me like abortion creates jobs if they are building that monstrosity!

FraAnima July 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm

I've seen a lot of ugly building presentations in my time, but that is one ugly piece of shit. I mid-90's Radisson could win the Pritzker Prize next to that thing. And the "sculpture", Jeebus, don't get me started.

Chichikovovich July 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm

I have a story about a visit to Kansas.

I was in Manhattan, Kansas (yes, the city naming Gods were in a really dickish mood the day that one was handed down) at a café for lunch with the group I was flown in to talk to. The menu was unambitious, and since I had my doubts about the place as a place to buy food (as opposed to, say, a place to rush into and furtively use the bathroom, or a place to store petri dishes). So I chose a Rueben sandwich, on the theory that it is hard to screw that up too much.

When it came, it was bad (expected) and the bread was untoasted (expected) but unexpectedly it lacked Russian dressing. I looked at the menu – and sure enough the list of what's in a Rueben sandwich did not contain Russian dressing. So I asked the waitress if this was a mistake, that perhaps they had forgotten the Russian dressing. She seemed to be stunned by the very idea, and conveyed that no, you have there all the ingredients of a Rueben sandwich, combined in the Rueben-sandwich manner. I asked, reasonably, and in a reasonable tone, well, though this may depart from canonical practice, could I perhaps have some Russian dressing added. You know, just for kicks. Her look turned from stunned to shocked. The idea of putting salad dressing on a sandwich evidently violated some profound dietary taboo among the good folk of her village. So I let the topic drop.

Thank you for listening to my story about Kansas.

chicken_thief July 18, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Are you from one the New Englandy places that calls 1,000 Island dressing "Russian" dressing? If so, that may have been the cause of the waitresses bewilderment.

If forced to return to Kansas, try asking for a dab of 1,000 Island next time to see if my theory holds.

Chichikovovich July 18, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I come from a place that calls it “Thousand Island Dressing” too. So I tried “You know, Thousand Island Dressing”? No dice.—

chicken_thief July 18, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Oh, well, I tried to cut them a little slack. In that case, fuck them idiots. BTW, I can relate. I'm from a 20k sized midwestern town, and just returned from a 10 day visit, where their idea of “fine dining” is Applebee's or Montana Mike's. Ugh. The only redemption is the battered and deep fried pork tenderloins which are unheard of here on the east coast.

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Waitress: A #2, chicken salad sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce, the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?
Chichi: Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.
Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
Chichi: I want you to hold it between your knees.

Jerri July 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

So uh, off to the left there. Is that…is that a statue of the twin towers unfurling a vagina that has been penetrated by a cross? Because without my glasses it looks like that is a statue of the twin towers unfurling a vagina that has been penetrated by a cross.

IonaTrailer July 18, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I agree, it looks a little vaginal to me.
(Well, maybe a vagina that's been de-flowered over and over again?)

ph7 July 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

The centerpiece is a live show of Dorothy in the stirrups, ruby slippers in the air, while Oz pulls Munchins dressed as aborted fetuses from her womb and reanimates them with the Good Witch's wand.

pdiddycornchips July 18, 2012 at 1:44 pm

$100 buck for the first Kansas couple to do it on top of the dead baby wailing wall of Kansas. Pix or it didn't happen.

mavenmaven July 18, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Apparently there's a special wing, designed as an exact replica of Michaelangelo's David, to commemorate the millions of dead children that resulted from wasted sperm due to masturbation.

chicken_thief July 18, 2012 at 1:54 pm

I get my Kansas fucktarded cities confused – can I beat my wife at this memorial?

larrykat July 18, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Kentucky? South Carolina? Mississippi? Kansas is eating your lunch in the Stupidest State Contest! Who will step up and show Kansas what stupid looks like? Anyone? Arizona maybe?

Biel_ze_Bubba July 18, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Obviously, it's the adjoining theme park that's going to bring in the crowds.

Ride the Placenta-Whirl ….

MonkeyBiz July 18, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Everyone keep calm. I've talked to the World-Wide Jewish Conspiracy and they've assured me that even if they manage to get this thing funded (which they wont, because we control all the money and all the banks), they'll never get any press or advertisements (because we control the media), and they'll be sued out of existence long before breaking ground (because we have no shortage of lawyers).

Redhead July 18, 2012 at 3:22 pm

That staircase on the side looks a lot like the Centre Pompidou (a modern art museum) in Paris. SOSHULIZTS!11!!!111!!!111

guangho July 18, 2012 at 4:47 pm

You know, and this is just a suggestion, if you wish to save fetuses, you could visit abortion clinics and sign binding contracts with the women there that if they give birth you will adopt the baby on the spot- and you will pay the costs of delivery and pregnancy. Just some Jewish thinking for ya.

ibwilliamsi July 18, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Is it just me, or does that cross look as though it is spurting out of a giant penis?

Preacher_Griz July 18, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Why ain't this in Pigeon Forge next to Dollyland?

ttommyunger July 18, 2012 at 7:49 pm

So, a Jew, a Preacher and a Fetus walk into a bar…….(fill in your own punch line).

mwittier July 19, 2012 at 1:40 am

Just wait 'til all them dead baby zombies under them crosses reanimate, and come hungrily looking for museum-goers. And their nipples.

Colicky baby zombie hordes. Cross your arms over your chestses: you've been warned.

DahBoner July 19, 2012 at 6:43 am

Will there be an Orange Jewlius?

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