It has been a No Good Terrible Horrible Very Bad Week for Mittens Romney, His Lord High Hairgel. So he lied about some stuff (every “stuff”), so what who cares? No, way more important is the hotness of these young people the Obama campaign pulled off the street, to read his lordship’s statement on Batman supervillain “Bain.”
Who do you choose? The pretty blonde? The other pretty blonde? We will take the caramel hipster dude raising that eyebrow. Intern slots are open, caramel hipster dude! Mama needs another cup of hot black joe.
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Mitt reminds me of the manager of a fine steak house that keeps interrupting your meal to ask if everything is okay.
That's not a fine steak house. That's Outback.
Golden Corral, now that's a fine steak house.
Mmmmm, endless cotton candy salads…..
Ryan's or GTFO.
I like Outback. No rules. It is like the State of Nature in there.
That's simply not true. For instance, I tried to take a waitress in my booth and, well, let's just say the settlement precludes me from talking about it.
There hasn't been a case of false advertising this obvious since Neverending Story…
It's the Mittster – Outhouse, not Outback.
only on wonkette could a presidential candidate posting immediately devolve into a discussion of outback steakhouse.
and now i am fucking hungry for steak.
Mitt and Outback share something in common, at least: All sizzle, no steak.
Except Mitt's also short on the sizzle. More greenback than Outback.
My post got replied to before I could add on:
❀ HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZZIE ❀
Happy B'Day LL
That is excellent, Weejee!
do something unseemly to celebrate
Happy bday, ya limey!! :-)
Happy anniversary of thy revolution around the sun!
Thanks darling girl.
Two seconds after you put a fork full of fud into the pie hole.
And when you complain that the steak is terrible, he backs off quickly, blaming the cook and denying that he's ever been in the kitchen.
This!
Retroactively……
And you just know the reason he's asking is because he's itching to fire somebody before he goes home.
"I take no responsibility for the quality of your steak, or the service. But I will take your tip!"
Bain is the Bane of Mitt's existence?
But he has always been banal?
Does Ann own a Catwoman suit?
No, but one of the Romney sons does.
He has never denied it!
That's how he got the name Tagg.
Maybe she can borrow the one from Wonkette's cover girl.
Would that make her part of Rushblow's Batman – Rmoney conspiracy?
Maybe whatever she was wearing for this cattiness? http://bit.ly/MltJLk
More important, does Becca?
Who do you think our Wonkette covergirl IS, Booj?
Mmrraaooo!
Editrix libel!
Gimme the chick in the spaghetti straps.
Mmmm…spaghetti…
But what if she doesn't want you? What then?
She could, could be ghey too….
Oh, she's gay…….in my mind, anyway, she's totally gay.
The hate-laugh is getting really villainous now.
So where was the Obama/Biden Truth Team during the debt ceiling insanity?
Or the Healthcare "debates."
I bet that it was during the debt ceiling insanity that they realized they needed a Truth Team.
Politics is becoming memetic warfare.
Who do you choose?
Has to be said…AOTK…
Privatizing his successes and socializing his failures–Mitt Romney really is a corporation with a hairdo. This is why he can say corporations are people. They are. They're just a very specific kind of synthetic person, exactly like him.
OMG, "Corporation with a hairdo"…spew, cough…..reach for kleenex….wipe off keyboard. LOL
That's why he only uses Mobil 1 on his hair.
And the song in his head? "Call me, hair responsible.."
Love that jaunty tune!
Great music!
All that's missing is the muted trombones going waaah, waaah.
(Too obvious?)
i was thinking it's almost yakkety sax.
Good enough?
The Romney campaign is going to respond by having John Sununu, Mary Matalin, and a leper read passages from Dreams from My Father.
Then the Obama campaign will respond with the clips from the audiobook with the man himself reading, and all the wimminz will climax, four more years – yay!
I doubt that Thomas Covenant will do any portion of the reading.
So, that will be one or two separate people?
Sounds like a typical day on "Morning Joe." With Mike Barnicle as the leper.
My money is on Bristol in an ape suit reading Darwin.
Mitt just hopes those young people realize that when they're laughing at him, they're putting themselves in the same category as his chauffer, Ann's nail lady, the car elevator operator, the liveryman, the pastry chef, the tutor, the nanny — so, if that's what they expect out of life, they can go right ahead and laugh. Just sayin'.
Yes, and fart in his car, file off her nails, smash off a bumper, wear the wrong shirt, piss in his muffins, teach them the truth, and feed them bourbon…with votes!
"Aww, you never turned around to see the frowns of the jugglers and the clowns and the chauffeur and the nail lady and the car elevator operator and the liveryman and the pastry chef and the tutor and the nanny when they all came down and did…tricks for you" I love Bob Dylan.
Speak English, Mitt! That's like trying to read and understand the fine print on a credit card app.
And I vote for hipster dude. Meowr.
Whoopi?
I'm having visions of Rebecca in a Catwoman suit and the cafe au lait dude wearing only shades and a raised eyebrow… 'scuse me, BRB.
My friends who are true blue Democrats swear that his dad, George, was a friend to the people during his term as governor of Michigan and that everyone loved him. Obviously, whatever lessons he tried to impart on young Mittens did not take hold because he sounds like the greediest sum bitch you can ever imagine.
And now he's attacking the Pres because the Pres is showing him up for the liar that he is. The Pres is not John Kerry or Al Gore, he will go out fighting and I'm glad of it. 'Cause I'm tired of the Dems not demonstrating cojones.
Have you heard the latest from Mittens' camp that the Pres is against success? The Pres is the embodiment of success; right next to the definition in the dictionary is the Pres' picture.
I can't imagine, a rich kid not learning from his relatively more self made father, and turning into a bullying arrogant brat? I'M SPEECHLESS!
Seriously, though, he couldn't be more like a John Hughes rich kid.
Mitt Romney is marrying you as soon as you get off the Titanic, America — right after he deals with that boy from steerage you've been rutting with!!
Ha! Well done.
Couldn't have done it without you!
That was so good, you deserve a treat: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brooke-carey/titani…
Thanks, that was fun!
*sigh* Not a big fan of any side that ever says "truth" or "the American people", no matter which side says it.
You might find that a dry blanket is more comfortable.
Reminds me of that old "Things That Make Ya Go Hmmmm" song.
"No, way more important is the hotness of these young people the Obama campaign pulled off the street, to read his lordship’s statement on Batman supervillain “Bain.”"
…if Uwe Boll directed Batman.
Coen Brothers.
Rmoney is really making it easy on the Obama campaign – no challenge at all to find something to use as a campaign ad.
OK ya got 2 brotha men, one dude (the potential intern) is actually decent looking, but all you gave us was nordic blondies. Where are the mamitas calientes? The sistah-hotties?
They're in Madison. Trust me.
Patience. Mitt will be handing out more rope- er, I mean press releases soon.
LEAVE MITT ROMNEY ALONE!
"He says 'entity' a lot."
Now THAT was funny.
"heh-heh…I guess he DID say 'well' a lot"
Homer Simpson, listening to his "Rappin' Ronnie Reagan" cassette
Who do you choose?
Mrs. weejee for certain.
Say entity to me again, sweetie
entity to me again, sweetie
No, Romney is allowed to take full credit for his Bain experience somehow making him an expert on the economy, and for any jobs it may have created even after he left, but you can't hold him responsible for anything bad the company did under him, or for lying about it, that's just character assassination!
The buck stops:
Over there
Retroactively
Where I say it does
In my Swiss bank account
…
" that's just character assassination!"
Well then, why won't he lie down and be quiet?
Bring me a beer and make me a sammitch, dang nap it!
This video makes me hopeful. Our young people get it! Bless 'em
It's not too big a secret at Romney Manor(s) that Alfred the Butler(s) is the reason for Mitts' success.
Mitt Romney is an ass-in-the-Bain.
Not gonna need the Viagra tonight!
Even Romney's explanation sounds like a corporation.
Mitt has to talk that way — it's in his charter. I mean genes.
He was built that way.
What do you expect from that fiduciary-bag?
Madison, WI, apparently?
https://maps.google.com/maps?q=majestic+theater+m…
Yep
Actually, cunning Mitts is only PLAY-acting dumb, getting people used to it so if he wins he can say "yeah, I'm POTUS, but that doesn't necessarily mean I DO anything! Leave me alone! I just hope you guys learn to be AMERICANS!"
wtf happened to the obama team? and why did they just show up?
they are like the green lantern corps. they were off doing 'ring shit'.
"Why was the campaign not campaigning between campaigns, and why are they campaigning now it's campaign season"?
well a tad more of this aggressiveness would have been comforting back around september and october of 2010
Perhaps, but that doesn't mean it would've been the optimal strategy, considering the truly epic amount of money the campaigns are going to be spending over the next 5 months.
Didn't have the singular lousy candidate to focus on then.
you people are being all 'accurate' and 'fact-y'. i simply want to wallow in this entirely satisfying assault.
Isn't Baconz on vacation? And you're posting things that we can masturbate to? Oh, that's cruel.
Now the Obama campaign needs an ad set to Benny Hill music…no particular reason why, it just makes me laugh.
Oh God, yes. And their wall-eyed, foot-stamping, eyes bugged out, spittle-flecked hissy fit response will be awesome to see. Especially after it is remixed to the Benny Hill theme.
Video of Mitt with arms full of tax returns, running around trying to find rocks big enough to hide them under, all set to Benny Hill music.
OT, but I wanted to put this in Wonkville but I must be screwing something up.
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/07/14/iowa-republ…
Sometimes the "add a new story" form takes a moment. I find if I back-tab to the URL box, and then tab forward, it catches up.
got it…it just takes a while for the "domain box" to fill in.
Looks like some fairly run-of-the-mill sovereign citizen nonsense. I wonder if she's renounced her citizenship of the real United States to declare herself a citizen of her fictional home. If so, can we deport her, please? Or at least make sure she's struck from the voter rolls.
Entities are people too, my friends.
The more Mitt goes on camera, the less everybody likes him.
Man, I love it when Dems grow balls and come out swinging.
Is it me, or have Democrats somehow figured out how to stay on message?
Nice ad, but I was waiting for the music to lead into a Tom Waits vocal…
Who are the ones left in charge at Bain?
Bankers, thieves and lawyers!
Mitt's away, Mitt's away,
Mitt's at the Olympics, 'lympics!
Here's your fix: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5X4N2exOsU
Lovely video! I think I may have been thinking of 16 Shells From A Thirty-Ought Six… only with VOTES! of course
Bain was rudderless for 2 years. Beached on the sands of the Cayman Is.
those people are hot? the one dude maybe, but otherwise damn, you need to get laid, editrix.
The chick with the bikes in the background was cute enough. I'd do her.
Right there.
I've just picked up a fault in the AE35 unit. It's going to go 100% failure in 72 hours.
Preceded by a core dump.
Just consider Bain Capital as Schrodinger's Cat. In the closed system (Bain), Mittens could be both alive (managing) and dead (retired).
Y'ALL! They're just playing into the hands of Mittens's master plan.
Remember the ad where Hopey was looking all hot and singing properly? That was Mittens's cunning plan to target the ugly and awkward, who as we know make up the vast majority of the voting public. It was foolproof (or would have been if it weren't for those meddling copyright holders!)
Now the hubristic Obamanians are just doing Mittens's work for him. "Reasonably attractive people mock Romney" is a dog whistle for the smelly nerds and doughy church ladies of this great country to rise up. No more will they be oppressed by the swag of Hopey and Chelle and their attractive daughters! It's just like that time in high school when the cheerleaders pointed and laughed at the Dungeons and Dragons Club (or the We Love Jesus Club or the Future Farmhands of America or whatever shit those uggums are into).
Big, big mistake, Hopey handlers. Shoulda got Herman Cain's campaign manager or someone else with a high Q rating among the unfuckables.
Right, like the nerds are going to vote for the guy who not only looks like the entitled asshole who sneered at them and bullied them all through high school, but actually was that guy.
They'll get a load of his mom jeans and everything will be aces, right? Eric Fehrnstrom said so o it has to be true.
But… but….. COCAINE!!! Weed at Columbia!!!! Sweet deal on his house!!!!
I can only hope they keep bringing this up like Fox and Friends idiotically did. Hell, the coke and weed are about the only mistakes Obama made in life and, when coupled to his openness about it and obvious success in overcoming those mistakes, are some of the most humanizing aspects of his story. Especially in contrast to Bush, who sure acted like he was still getting high somehow, and Mitt's whole Eddie Haskell straight arrow piece of shit persona.
And yeah, the Rezko house thing is a tiny bit sketchy, but I don't really think the guy who won't release his tax returns and has Cayman island accounts plus a full time lobbyist for his house renovations wants to go there.
Rezko house is also so four years ago. Even more than the drugs.
B-b-but the Kenyan usurper wasn't vetted the first time around. That's why the Rev. Wright brouhaha came and went so quickly.
"Bush, who sure acted like he was still getting high somehow,"
Sure. <finger quotes>Acted like</finger quotes>.
These four young people obviously don't know how the system works and how all the jobs in the world are created by rich people who shouldn't have to pay taxes.
So these four shouldn't be allowed to vote.
there's a good chance they won't be.
Two have vaginas they cannot control and one is too dark. Voter purge by Scott Walker!
All of them,
KatieEditrix.Mama likes her men the way she likes her coffee: expensive and bitter.
Avec une cuillèrre dedans
OT – can someone tell me where to find a shopped Bane mask? I'm too lazy to trim it for my own uses.
Young and hot? Clearly, not real Americans.
I swear, if I hear Mitt say "…if you will" one more time I'm gonna hurl.
I always take "…if you will" to mean "I'm not sure if those words I just said mean what I think they mean."
Was "hot black joe" the guy with the sunglasses? I'll have a cup of that!
Forget the fucking cup. I'll just take him by the mouthful.
Willard's worst enemy is Mitt.
The Dems can't believe how the Mittbots have let this tax thing dominate the news for two weeks straight with the convention so close. Not even the veep choice is going to derail it, unless Sarah comes back. Tim Pawlenty will be just another dancing horse.
That hipster dude can vet my VP anytime.
Er, anyway, kudos to Obama for sticking to Bain like an angry Pomeranian to an ankle. I'm not sure if I have enough faith in the American people to get the implications of a business scandal, but at least it's highlighting Romney as a callous empty suit.
Today, for the first time, I actually felt sorry for RMoney, because he hasn't hit back in a week. If this was a fight, RMoney would be on the ground with his eyes rolled up in his head and Obama kickin him in the gut, sayin "call me unamerican now, mother…etc"
The buck stops here. Please take the responsibility down the hall and drop it in the incinerator, however.
Caramel hipster guy + spanish-speaking Romney fils + blonde responsibility girl. Yeah!
"We will take the caramel hipster dude raising that eyebrow. Intern slots are open, caramel hipster dude! Mama needs another cup of hot black joe."
Ooo! Steamy!
The only thing I know about hipsters is that they are too
cooldumb to own an umbrella or raincoat….This is comforting on two levels: young people today can read, and two, they seem to have a working bullshit detector. Nice, Wonkette, nice…
The more articulate pretty blonde one appears to be standing less than a mile from my apartment–hometown pride, and all of that! “He says ‘entity’ a lot.” THAT’S MADISON FOR YOU.
Ms Tribbz votes for the hot caramel hipster with the flexible and talented eyebrows. Oy, momma, where's my fan?
A friend is taking me to dinner at Red Rooster in Harlem
Happy birthday from the LimeyTimezone too. Hope it's a great dinner!
We'd sing for you, but you already got that from the Mr, so many happy returns.
Cool way to put it, I like that.
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