Watch out, Barack Obama! You’re in for a good old-fashioned VETTENING!
“[Romney] has said Obama’s a nice fellow, he’s just in over his head,” [a Romney] adviser said. “But I think the governor himself believes this latest round of attacks that have impugned his integrity and accused him of being a felon go so far beyond that pale that he’s really disappointed. He believes it’s time to vet the president. He really hasn’t been vetted; McCain didn’t do it.”
Is it twue? Did Obama Hug A Black Guy? Romneyland will get to the bottom of it!
“I mean, this is a guy who admitted to cocaine use, had a sweetheart deal with his house in Chicago, and was associated and worked with Rod Blagojevich to get Valerie Jarrett appointed to the Senate,” the adviser said.
Oh shit, the US Senator from a state “was associated and worked with” the governor of that state to pick his replacement? Impeachment just won’t do! Put him in the hoosegow! The other stuff — the drugs and the sweetheart deal — yeah, we honestly don’t care about that. Maybe their Fast & Furious stuff will have some traction though, here is hoping!
“[Obama's] policies have been such utter failures, the only thing he can do is to try to destroy a decent man and his wife,” the adviser said. “So he gets some hack political adviser from Chicago who has nothing to point to in her own life, and tells her to call [Romney] a felon… When did our politics get to that point? I mean, it’s Nixonian.”
When did our politics get to that point, unnamed Romney advisor? That is an excellent question! Was it when everybody said Bill Clinton murdered Vince Foster, or that Hillary was putting condoms and crack pipes on the White House Christmas tree? Was it then? Or was it all the way back in 1885, when the “Ma ma, where’s my pa?” chants went up about Grover Cleveland? Maybe it was then? Or was it just recently, when Joe Arpaio said Barack Obama was never born, because of codes? Or was it in that very sentence, when you sneered about Obama spox Stephanie Cutter “having nothing in her own life,” presumably because she is a sad, benighted spinster, with no husband and children to thaw her frozen womb and frozen loins?
But we think you guys might be forgetting the best attack of all. Don’t know if you heard? Shhhh. Barack Obama had two babies with a black chick.