THE SHERIFF ALWAYS GETS HIS MAN  9:54 am July 18, 2012

Joe Arpaio Proves Beyond Reasonable Doubt: Barack Obama Was Never Born

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

secret codesWe can’t believe we forgot to watch the “live stream” of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s press conference — which wasn’t on the teevee because of how the media is colluding to protect the illegal alien “president” — and he has some news! In fact, Arpaio’s “posse” of investigators into the national security threat (true quote!) that is B. Hussein are so good at their jobs, they even found the 95-year-old former state employee who signed Bamz’s birth certificate in the first place!

But wait! If they found the employee who signed it coming up on 51 years ago, wouldn’t that mean it hadn’t been forged? Oh you sweet, simple thing. No. You see, “It’s the codes.”

The AP is on the case!

Mike Zullo, the posse’s chief investigator, said numeric codes on certain parts of the birth certificate indicate that those parts weren’t filled out, yet those sections asking for the race of Obama’s father and his field of work or study were completed.

Zullo said investigators previously didn’t know the meaning of codes but they were explained by a 95-year-old former state worker who signed the president’s birth certificate. Zullo said a writer who published a book about Obama’s birth certificate and was aiding investigators let them listen in on an interview he conducted of the former state worker.

There you have it. “Codes.” Codes that said parts of it were left blank, even though they were filled in. You have to get up pretty early in 1961 to fool Sheriff Joe Arpaio!

But what lies is the Hawaii Attorney General’s office telling, to cover this up, again?

“President Obama was born in Honolulu, and his birth certificate is valid,” [a spokesman] said in a statement. “Regarding the latest allegations from a sheriff in Arizona, they are untrue, misinformed, and misconstrue Hawaii law.”

Well, that’s what they would say. The truth is out there.

[AP]

 

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{ 200 comments }

thatsitfortheother1 July 18, 2012 at 9:58 am

"Barack Obama Was Never Born"

I believe the term used by AEI was "spawned."

Like a catfish or something.

12X34X July 18, 2012 at 1:18 pm

I watch a lot of old X Files episodes. I could help Arpaio along with this.

"He was created in a lab at area 51 in NM by a technology we have yet to understand. Strage sightings of turban-wearing, Sharia Law – spouting, aliens in ovoid spacecraft were reported in the area by locals during the time Obama was said to have been born. There were also numerous reports of cows mysteriously disappearing in the area. To this day, the Air Force will not release these reports to the general public,"

These rednecks have no imaginations! Memo to Arpaio: Watch moar teevee!!!!

thatsitfortheother1 July 19, 2012 at 4:26 am

I like it. Area 51 is in Nevada tho.

freakishlywrong July 18, 2012 at 9:58 am

It's raining like fuck here today. Let's hope in never rains in Maricopa fucking county again.

thatsitfortheother1 July 18, 2012 at 10:04 am

It's raining stupidity there as we speak.

valgal2342 July 18, 2012 at 11:45 am

Please send that real rain this way!

Terry July 18, 2012 at 5:04 pm

The rain should start again the day Arpaio is run out of office.

ChernobylSoup July 18, 2012 at 9:58 am

The Higgs boson was not identified until 2012. Without the Higgs boson there can be no mass. So how did Barack Obama exist in 1961?

Pragmatist2 July 18, 2012 at 10:12 am

QED

bobbert July 18, 2012 at 4:30 pm

QCD

Generation[redacted] July 18, 2012 at 10:15 am

The President is made of dark matter?

Dr_Zoidberg July 18, 2012 at 10:30 am

Why you gotta play the race card?

Doktor Zoom July 18, 2012 at 11:39 am

The Higgs boson walks into a church, and the priest says, Hey, we don't allow Higgs bosons in here–your nickname is blasphemous. And the Higgs boson says, Oh yeah? Without me, how can you have Mass?

weejee July 18, 2012 at 9:59 am

Joe is speaking in code, with his 'no blahs' dog whistle

Code back atcha Joe: ─••• ••─ •─•• •─•• ••• •••• •• ─

thatsitfortheother1 July 18, 2012 at 10:10 am

.. .- — .- ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. –. .. -.. .. — – .-.-.- … …. . .-. .. ..-. ..-. .— — .

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 10:14 am

Morse and remorse. Cool.

weejee July 18, 2012 at 10:33 am

simply dashing

sullivanst July 18, 2012 at 10:45 am

Seems dotty to me.

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 11:12 am

I see your point.

savethispatient July 18, 2012 at 2:07 pm

-.- . . .–. / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. –. / – …. .- – / -.-. …. .. -.-. -.- . -.

JustPixelz July 18, 2012 at 11:03 am

if you're on a mac, how did you do that?

weejee July 18, 2012 at 11:15 am

PeeCee

Mumbletypeg July 18, 2012 at 9:59 am

This dolt has reached and transcended that point whereby the fuss you make about such-and-such begins to say more about you than about the idiotic thing you've been ranting over ad nauseum..

thatsitfortheother1 July 18, 2012 at 10:05 am

He's confusing keeping his mouth moving with avoiding federal prosecution.

freakishlywrong July 18, 2012 at 10:17 am

At what point do these assholes transcend out of the public discourse? Four years and four months?

SayItWithWookies July 18, 2012 at 10:29 am

Like a bulldog with an invisible bone in his mouth.

not that Dewey July 18, 2012 at 10:32 am

"Quixotic" = "foolishly impractical especially in the pursuit of ideals"

"Arpaic" = ???

Mumbletypeg July 18, 2012 at 10:49 am

I can only come up with acronyms til I get more caffeine —

"Anal Retentive Prick Asserts Insane Conclusions"?

CapnRadio July 18, 2012 at 11:02 am

Lemme try.

"Arpaic" = ???

"Foolishly impractical and sweaty, especially in the pursuit of ideals"

Mumbletypeg July 18, 2012 at 11:23 am

Lord. Your new avi gave me a fright!

not that Dewey July 18, 2012 at 11:33 am

Frankenberry? More like Frightenberry, amirite?

CapnRadio July 18, 2012 at 11:44 am

Just a temporary glitch. Nothing to see here. Move along.

HarryButtle July 18, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Dude, that describes EVERYTHING that Sheriff Joe has ever done.

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 9:59 am

Arpaio speaks from experience, as he rose from the muck.

thatsitfortheother1 July 18, 2012 at 10:02 am

Sheriff Joe: Gol dang it deputy, I told you to round me up a little "posse!"

FlownOver July 18, 2012 at 10:38 am

I beg to differ. There's no evidence he rose.

Texan_Bulldog July 18, 2012 at 10:00 am

Joe and Jan are why AZ can't have nice things.

KeepFnThatChicken July 18, 2012 at 10:02 am

I didn't know my kids went to visit Joe and Jan. Was wondering where they were.

Guppy July 18, 2012 at 10:22 am

Oh, I'm sure there are a hell of a lot more reasons than just those two.

Callyson July 18, 2012 at 11:15 am

Jon, also, too. (Kyl, major league asshole in the Senate.)

freakishlywrong July 18, 2012 at 10:00 am

Oh. And for fuck's sake.

Allmighty_Manos July 18, 2012 at 10:01 am

That's ironic, because I wish Sheriff Joe was never born either.

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 10:01 am

Derpaio has a brain code. He's taking antihistamines

KeepFnThatChicken July 18, 2012 at 10:02 am

It's time to again reopen the murder investigation of Glenn Beck. Clearly, Arpaio won't let something like jurisdiction or decency get in the way.

Dr_Zoidberg July 18, 2012 at 10:31 am

Or common sense, or intelligence….

deanbooth July 18, 2012 at 10:02 am

What we've got here is a failure to communicate.

bureaucrap July 18, 2012 at 10:02 am

If the birth certificate was not completed properly, that means the "individual" associated with it doesn't exist. QED.

Estproph July 18, 2012 at 10:03 am

Wait, I'm confused. He's a sheriff? That can't be right.

KeepFnThatChicken July 18, 2012 at 10:09 am

And is Orly Taitz a dentist, a lawyer, or a researcher? I think the conspiracy is that none of these people are pedigreed properly, yet they command a shitload of attention.

OH MY GOD… I just had an epiphany… since they earn attention by bloviating and making nonsense for a camera spectacle, they're not just wingnuts…

…they are the new Jersey Shore!

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 10:12 am

Oh man, that's such a diss to Snooki and JWow.

One_who_wanders July 18, 2012 at 10:23 am

Deputy Dawg would be a marked improvement.
Or Quick Draw McGraw!

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 10:37 am

I'll do the thinnin' around here, and don't you fergit it!

FlownOver July 18, 2012 at 10:51 am

KABONG!

Tundra Grifter July 18, 2012 at 11:50 am

So – Sheriff Joe isn't the dumbest guy in the county. There are all those jokers who voted him in.

zippy_w_pinhead July 18, 2012 at 3:52 pm

No, the ones who vote for him are fear stricken retirees. the really dumb ones are the people who actually buy their gawd awful books

hagajim July 18, 2012 at 10:03 am

You've heard of the Danvinci Code….well Joe has his own, its called DaDumbfuck Code.

CivicHoliday July 18, 2012 at 10:04 am

I could not give less of a shit. Please go away Joe.

TheGyrus July 18, 2012 at 10:05 am

DAMMIT! After all the trouble the Democrats went to to smuggle a Kenyan Muslim into the country, plant fake notices of his birth in the 1961 Honolulu Advertiser, educate him to hate America at an Indonesian madrasa, cover up the years he spent as a spy for Pakistan, set him up as a community organizer, get him elected to his first term as President, the whole freaking plan is now going to fall apart because some idiot screwed up the codes on his fake birth certificate! DETAILS, PEOPLE!

LesBontemps July 18, 2012 at 10:17 am

It's this kind of sloppiness that will be the undoing of our efforts to institute sharia law death panels at the FEMA re-education camps.

Dr_Zoidberg July 18, 2012 at 10:32 am

Hey, I have been tirelessly working to institute sharia law death panels at my local FEMA re-education camp. I just keep getting distracted by free healthcare and food stamps.

freakishlywrong July 18, 2012 at 10:20 am

The Smoking Man would like a word…

MilwaukeeKent July 18, 2012 at 10:33 am

No! Don't talk to him! Trust no one!

Tommy1733 July 18, 2012 at 11:34 am

You know who _else_ smuggled a Kenyan Muslim into the country, planted fake notices of his birth in the 1961 Honolulu Advertiser, educated him to hate America at an Indonesian madrasa, covered up the years he spent as a spy for Pakistan, set him up as a community organizer, and got him elected to his first term as President?

Boojum July 18, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Nixon?

horsedreamer_1 July 18, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Alexander Payne?

Terry July 18, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Yeah, too bad they didn't think to pick a Muslim man who looks whiter than Arpaio and give him a super white sounding name like Bob Johnson.

ManchuCandidate July 18, 2012 at 10:06 am

It is easier to believe in the Arpaio Code than deal with the fact that US Amercia voted a Nearer with a furriner sounding name into the office of Preznit.

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 10:11 am

It's a pity this isn't in New Mexico, because then we could neatly tie in Roswell…

widestanceromance July 18, 2012 at 10:32 am

The codes make the connection crystal clear to any real patriot, and to deny this is to forsake the baby Geebis.

12X34X July 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

The Tea Tards don't care! New Mexico!!! Why not? Just do it anyway!

jodyleek July 18, 2012 at 10:06 am

The Duh Grinchy Code?

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 10:06 am

The 95-year-old also explained that in the upcoming election he was supporting Calvin Coolidge.

Tundra Grifter July 18, 2012 at 10:47 am

After explaining he'd invested his entire retirement account in American Buggy Whip, he predicted a World Series sweep by the Boston Braves.

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 10:50 am

Boston sucks, man; the Philadelphia As all the way!

DemmeFatale July 18, 2012 at 10:58 am

Ma, Ma, where's my Pa?
In the White House, ha, ha, ha!

Edit: Oops! Wrong Pres. Sorry!
(Still love it, though.)

freakishlywrong July 18, 2012 at 10:06 am

NEEDS MORE SEX-CRIMES INVESTIGATIN'.

arihaya July 18, 2012 at 10:07 am

This is not a problem at all. According to Romney, Obama only need to incorporate himself as Barack Obama Inc, and then he will be able to get a full personhood.

Because corporation are peple, my friends.

FakaktaSouth July 18, 2012 at 10:30 am

And he can retroactively call himself born anywhere at anytime. The Romney way of doing things is actually very helpful.

NellCote71 July 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

And retroactively be baptized into the "right" religion.

FlownOver July 18, 2012 at 10:52 am

And, of course, incorporate retroactively.

IncenseDebate July 18, 2012 at 10:07 am

Elementary my dear dumbfuck.

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 10:10 am

It never occured to me how much Arpaio resembled consulting detective Sherlock Gnomes.

eggsacklywright July 18, 2012 at 10:22 am

"Ella Fitzgerald, my dear Whopper."

chascates July 18, 2012 at 10:10 am

A conspiracy so vast and so well done you'd have to be a moron to pay any attention at all.

proudgrampa July 18, 2012 at 10:10 am

What is Morse code for "You are a freakin' idiot, Sheriff!!" ?

Vecchiojohn July 18, 2012 at 10:20 am

Duh duh-duh duh duh-duh duh duh duh-duh duh duh-duh duh duh

thatsitfortheother1 July 18, 2012 at 10:25 am

See above.

Boojum July 18, 2012 at 12:36 pm

-.– — ..- / .- .-. . / .- / ..-. .-. . .- -.- .. -. .—-. / .. -.. .. — – –..– / … …. . .-. .. ..-. ..-. .-.-.- /

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 10:10 am

The truth is out there.

So is Arpaio.

Pragmatist2 July 18, 2012 at 10:10 am

Mitt's tax returns have missing information as well – All of it.

Beetagger July 18, 2012 at 10:11 am

How on earth has this guy not had a stroke yet?

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 10:13 am

He has, his body just hasn't caught on.

His brain, however…

Dr_Zoidberg July 18, 2012 at 10:33 am

He pledged his soul to Satan, and Ol' Scratch don't even want that thing.

el_donaldo July 18, 2012 at 10:11 am

Codes?! I can help! Venusians are always tapping out secret codes and their mysteries though my mercury fillings. They've already given me Obama's complete Pakistan-Mars teleportation schedule AND the locations of the next five times Jesus will appear in a tortilla.

I bet I could be one of them Posse Chief Investigators.

eggsacklywright July 18, 2012 at 10:24 am

"Posse Comitatus…"

"Did you just call me a pussy communist?"

proudgrampa July 18, 2012 at 10:28 am

Your comment puts me in mind of the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI).

Maybe we should embark on a search for Terrestrial Intelligence. I suspect that, well, we will find that there is none. It's in the codes, man!

FlownOver July 18, 2012 at 10:57 am

Eric Idle Libel!

So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.

qwerty42 July 18, 2012 at 10:11 am

So Hawaii isn't part of the US and doesn't issue real birf certificates and goodness knows what else.

Maman July 18, 2012 at 10:29 am

Bad news for my dad who was born in Hawaii. Do you know what the difference between my dad's and the President's birth certificates is? My dad's says "Territory of Hawaii" instead of "State of Hawaii"

mrpuma2u July 18, 2012 at 10:11 am

My last comment got deleted?!?!?!? I guess editrix was right, intense debate has been taken over by Sherrif Joe.

eggsacklywright July 18, 2012 at 10:38 am

Mine, too. Musta been the Latin quote.

mrpuma2u July 18, 2012 at 11:56 am

I mentioned "time lord" so that must really set off the foil lined hat crowd.

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 10:12 am

Scott Baio
Joe Arpaio

There's something here that sounds like code to me.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 18, 2012 at 10:13 am

This is almost as interesting as that whole "Davinci Code" thing and should probably be made into a summer blockbuster starring Tom Hanks as Sheriff Joe in "The Arpaio Code"

chascates July 18, 2012 at 10:17 am

Not Steven Seagal?

widestanceromance July 18, 2012 at 10:28 am

Gary Busey's big toe was born for that role.

Limeylizzie July 18, 2012 at 10:14 am

I was born, also, today July 18th, as well as Nelson Mandela, Clifford Odets, Goldie Taylor and , best of all, Red Skelton!

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 10:16 am

Wait. Is that code?

metamarcisf July 18, 2012 at 10:17 am

Good night and God Bless.

Maman July 18, 2012 at 10:17 am

Happy birthday, Lizzie!

chascates July 18, 2012 at 10:17 am

Happy Birthday! Tomorrow is my birthday so in your honor I'll starti drinking right now.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 18, 2012 at 10:18 am

Prove it! PROVE IT!

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 10:23 am

Yea! Tits or GTFO!

neiltheblaze July 18, 2012 at 10:19 am

Happy New Year, Liz.

fartknocker July 18, 2012 at 10:20 am

We knew you we're special but WOW, you're very, very special. Happy Birthday. Oh, you forgot to mention that Willie Nelson was also born on July 18th.

Tundra Grifter July 18, 2012 at 11:03 am

And, according to NPR radio moments ago, Vin Diesel.

freakishlywrong July 18, 2012 at 10:22 am

A birthday upfist for you, girl, and a thousand more!

ChernobylSoup July 18, 2012 at 10:24 am

You have those in England? I thought birthdays were an American thing. Did they give you one when you moved here?

Tundra Grifter July 18, 2012 at 10:59 am

Is that like when young Chinese ladies come to the US and pick a new name? Generally, in my experience, "Jennifer."

LesBontemps July 18, 2012 at 10:28 am

Happy birthday you lobsterback infiltrator.

Mumbletypeg July 18, 2012 at 10:28 am

Hey Lizzie, wishing you the best on your birthday. In lieu of usual horrorscope, I’ll share from this geekworthy new numbers trivia book I just bought myself for my own early-bday… Whereby: if your birth date is stated in europe-friendly format with zero included I can share that 18.7 or 1807 (eighteenth day seventh month) is the fifth voracious number. So go and be voracious* sweet girl!

*because I could not find anything elsewhere on teh internets about voracious numbers it’s occurred to me maybe it’s a figment of the author’s imagination – not that anything’s wrong with that, imaginary numbers sometimes outperform their reputations…

Limeylizzie July 18, 2012 at 10:55 am

Excellent!

thatsitfortheother1 July 18, 2012 at 10:28 am

"Red" Skelton. I knew it all along.

proudgrampa July 18, 2012 at 10:30 am

Happy Birthday, Love!

Dr_Zoidberg July 18, 2012 at 10:34 am

Pics or it didn't happen!!

Limeylizzie July 18, 2012 at 10:54 am
Tundra Grifter July 18, 2012 at 11:01 am

2L:

I hope it wasn't rush hour. I can just see the folks packing in behind her, and about half way up realizing maybe that wasn't such a hot idea.

Limeylizzie July 18, 2012 at 11:17 am

I'm betting money on her Tea Party credentials.

FakaktaSouth July 18, 2012 at 10:55 am

Oh yay! Happy Birthday! And happy co-July Birthday month, I'm 12 days into being all kinds of 40. Your born-on-this-day people are way cooler than mine though – I just got Sly Stallone, W and Ronald Reagan's second wife Nancy. Much love.

Limeylizzie July 18, 2012 at 11:05 am

Oh yours are ghastly! Thank God for you, single-handedly raising the honour and merit of the day.

ttommyunger July 18, 2012 at 11:02 am

Happy BD, hope Mr. L is recovering nicely.

DemmeFatale July 18, 2012 at 11:07 am

Happy Birthday!!

(One of my girls was born on Hitler's B-day, but I like your "birthday buddies" better.)

Tundra Grifter July 18, 2012 at 11:55 am

2L:

Also – (again, thank you Public Radio) – Martha Reeves of Martha and the Vandellas. Hope you are Dancing In the Street during this Heatwave.

And Screaming Jay Hawkins. When the Rolling Stones toured the USA, they thanked the R&B pioneers and Blues musicians they'd listened to in England by hiring them to open their shows.

Screaming Jay Hawkins began his act by popping out of a coffin.

There's music in your stars, 2L!

Limeylizzie July 18, 2012 at 12:15 pm

And lots of negroes! Yay!!!

Tundra Grifter July 18, 2012 at 12:15 pm

2L:

And Hunter Thompson. Thank you, Writers' Almanac and Garrison Keillor.

Best of all – You!

GorzoTheMighty July 18, 2012 at 10:14 am

Read it as Arpaio's "pussy" instead of "posse". Might take the rest of the day to recover from that image. Is it wrong to start drinking at 9:00 am?

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 18, 2012 at 10:15 am

Since when do Sheriffs just embroider their star onto a polo shirt? That is SOOOOOO LAME!

thatsitfortheother1 July 18, 2012 at 10:30 am

Silk screening would be just fine.

Tundra Grifter July 18, 2012 at 11:08 am

Or how about one of those gold star badge decals they give kids when they take a tour of the Sherrif's HQ?

chascates July 18, 2012 at 10:15 am

This is, after all, the state that allowed BOTH the Japanese to attack us AND convinced McDonald's to serve Spam.

actor212 July 18, 2012 at 10:17 am

Hawaii had it coming, wearing those grass skirts low on her hips…

An_Outhouse July 18, 2012 at 10:15 am

Did a record label sign the Insane Arpaio Posse or did they have to set up a Kickstart project for their next CD?

fitley July 18, 2012 at 10:16 am

The only one telling the truth in this matter is George Lopez.

Maman July 18, 2012 at 10:17 am

Red Neck Code?

DerrickWildcat July 18, 2012 at 10:19 am

Arizona Tax Dollars hard at work.

SorosBot July 18, 2012 at 10:19 am

We've laughed at the birthers' attempts to uncover the time-traveling Democrat party conspiracy to make Obama born in America retroactively, but now that Rush Limbaugh has discovered how Democrats went back to the early 90s to create a Batman villain named Bane, which sounds just like Bain, so that The Dark Knight Rises would damage Mitt Romney's chance of winning the election, we know the time-traveling Democrat conspiracy is real!

fuflans July 18, 2012 at 10:40 am

a real time traveling democrat would make sure kitty harris never got elected.

Preferred Customer July 18, 2012 at 10:20 am

A very reasonable maxim for living life is "never listen to a guy with a mustache." Sorry, Mike Zullo.

mavenmaven July 18, 2012 at 10:21 am

They didn't speak to the 95 year old, they were only allowed to listen in to tapes of an interview with him. "Republicans" and "tapes" in the same sentence pretty much says it all to me.

GeorgiaBurning July 18, 2012 at 10:23 am

This is the long-form version of "I know a guy who told me his cousin has proof that …" How soon until drivers who get pulled over in Maricopa County need to show secret birth certificate codes, along with license, registration and passport?

randcoolcatdaddy July 18, 2012 at 10:23 am

This is great news for manufacturers of medication for psychotics.

HempDogbane July 18, 2012 at 10:23 am

And some people say government can't do anything right. Sheriff Joe sure proves them wrong !

thatsitfortheother1 July 18, 2012 at 10:37 am

They need to shrink his government down a wee bit more before they can fit him in that bathtub…

Guppy July 18, 2012 at 10:24 am

Remember: if you don't give full faith and credit to a Hawaiian birth certificate, you hate the Constitution.

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Yeah, but, NEGRO!

Guppy July 18, 2012 at 12:34 pm

As you may recall, Negroes are exactly why there's the Full Faith and Credit Clause to begin with.

LesBontemps July 18, 2012 at 10:24 am

Zullo said a writer who published a book about Obama's birth certificate and was aiding investigators let them listen to an interview he conducted with the former state worker.

Dollars to donuts says it's Jerome Corsi.

CapnRadio July 18, 2012 at 11:03 am

Okay, but Sheriff Joe gets to eat the donuts.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 18, 2012 at 10:27 am

If Obama was never born that means that he is really just a giant fetus, which means that republicans should love him? Gah! My head hurts.

ChapterUndVerse July 18, 2012 at 10:29 am

“President Obama was born in Honolulu, and his birth certificate is valid,” [a spokesman] said in a statement. “Regarding the latest allegations from a sheriff in Arizona, they are untrue, misinformed, and misconstrue Hawaii law willfully.”

/fixed

Dr_Zoidberg July 18, 2012 at 10:29 am

More proof that Obama is a magic negro!

DerrickWildcat July 18, 2012 at 10:32 am

Maybe he and Orly should hook up and make some [Redacted] babies.

FajitaFriday July 18, 2012 at 10:33 am

Somethun bout this pic……doesn't he have a profile on HOBO-SEXUALS?

Dr_Zoidberg July 18, 2012 at 10:35 am

No, they kicked him off. He was scarin' away all the hobos.

neiltheblaze July 18, 2012 at 10:34 am

Just wait until they discover Barry's time machine. Then the jig will be up.

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2012 at 12:24 pm

So to speak.

ElPinche July 18, 2012 at 10:34 am

Meanwhile in birther koo koo land, Arpaio scours a random lake bed for clues.

Tundra Grifter July 18, 2012 at 11:48 am

Since it's Arizona during a drought, this reads like a replay of "Holes."

SayItWithWookies July 18, 2012 at 10:38 am

The truth is in there. And eventually Sherrif Joe's gonna get so deep into it that he'll be looking out from between his own teeth.

Vecchiojohn July 18, 2012 at 10:38 am

“Regarding the latest allegations from a sheriff in Arizona, they are untrue, misinformed, and misconstrue Hawaii law.”

Bureaucratic double talk. What are they hiding?

pdiddycornchips July 18, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Who you gonna believe? Some faceless bureaucrat in exotic Hawaii or Sheriff Batman and his 95 year old Robin?

MilwaukeeKent July 18, 2012 at 10:48 am

It will be a really strange moment when even Arpaio doesn't understand what Arpaio is trying to do anymore. He'll be calling his next press conference to argue with himself as two distinct personalities.

fuflans July 18, 2012 at 10:53 am

they have a fucking POSSE? a birther POSSE?

oh AZ never change!!

Barrelhse July 18, 2012 at 11:24 am

Joe used to watch a lot of Cowboy shows on television while he was growing up in Springfield, MA.

One_who_wanders July 18, 2012 at 12:31 pm

You know who else has a posse? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andre_the_Giant_Has_

Limeylizzie July 18, 2012 at 10:56 am

The best birthday present I have ever received was my beloved MrLimeylizzie singing "Happy Birthday" from his hospital bed in Los Angeles. He is back to normal and is awesome!

ttommyunger July 18, 2012 at 11:04 am

Great news!

ttommyunger July 18, 2012 at 11:05 am

"…allegations from a sheriff in Arizona, they are untrue, misinformed, and misconstrue Hawaii law.” Those native types are so quaint: all those words just to say "Bullshit".

Tundra Grifter July 18, 2012 at 11:11 am

Next week, Sheriff Joe's volunteer posse is expected to release its report documenting its investigation of the terrible sexual assult on Jerry Sandusky by packs of young boys.

DemmeFatale July 18, 2012 at 11:13 am

Doesn't this guy have a real job?

Dildeaux July 18, 2012 at 11:13 am

I bet you didnt know that Barry Soweto has a fraudulent SS# also!!1!

Yup, his number is actually the number shared by a guy who lived six decades ago in the US northeast.

This CT is actually true. The willfully ignorant play along, cause SS#'s are…wait for it…recycled.

ASHLEIGH_Joe July 18, 2012 at 11:44 am

Zullo said investigators previously didn’t know the meaning of codes but they were explained by a 95-year-old former state worker who signed the president’s birth certificate

Unless this 95-year-old former state worker is claiming that she knowingly committed fraud when she signed it, or that she signed it in 1993, I'm not sure how exactly you get from "we found the Department of Health official who certified the birth certificate 50 years ago, and relied on the information she gave us," to "and therefore it must be a fake", by way of logic.

pdiddycornchips July 18, 2012 at 12:32 pm

The CODES!!! It's all in the CODES!!!

elburritodeluxe July 18, 2012 at 12:07 pm

From The Republic's article:

While Arpaio's investigators were in Hawaii for 10 days, they located a former local registrar who might have written coding on the copy of Obama's birth certificate posted on the White House website. The woman is now 95 years old.

After the team's return from Hawaii, a national leader in the so-called birther movement who has worked with the sheriff's volunteer investigators placed a call to the woman, pretending to be a news reporter. The woman, who Zullo referred to as "amazingly sharp," told the fake reporter that the numbers on Obama's birth certificate were inconsistent with the time and place of his birth.

Her information, other inconsistencies investigators said they discovered in documents posted on the White House website and the refusal of Hawaii officials to let Arpaio's investigators inspect the original birth certificate led the team to conclude the document is a fraud.

The team also discovered information that they said caused concern about Hawaii's lax standards for verifying where children are born or where their parents live.

Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/news/politics/articles/2

Tundra Grifter July 18, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Nine of those 10 days were probably spent on the beach with Donald Chump's investigators and umbrella drinks.

pdiddycornchips July 18, 2012 at 12:38 pm

"The team also discovered information that they said caused concern about Hawaii's lax standards for verifying where children are born or where their parents live. "

AZ has lax standards too. Or better put, AZ lacks standards. I am sure the good people of AZ are proud to fund sheriff Joe's trip down the rabbit hole.

Fraudulently_Joe July 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm

They phoned up a 95 year-old to get information under false pretenses? "Amazingly sharp" is one hell of a fig leaf, there.

Tundra Grifter July 18, 2012 at 12:17 pm

At the risk of taking these residents of Wingnutzistan-stan-stan seriously, a clerk went over the document, checked the entries, and wrote in pencil simple numeric codes for data entry purposes.

Box 7g. asks "Is Resident on a Farm of Plantation?" There are two choices: "Yes" and "No." "No" is checked, and someone wrote in pencil "2."

Box 11 "Birthplace" (of Father). Entry is "Kenya, East Africa." Penciled "2." "1" would be "Within the United States" and "2" would be "Outside the United States."

Box 14 "Race" (of Mother). Penciled code is "1." Duh! Of course Caucasian is the first race on the list of possible choices.

Other boxes in which the information has not been filled have a "0" in pencil – meaning, no information provided.

This "code" is not exactly the ENIGMA.

Nostrildamus July 18, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Clear enough. A "1" in box 14 obviously meant that the kid's a socialist.

pdiddycornchips July 18, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Joe (and others like him) are not just birthers, they're zombie birthers. They refuse to die.

Your move Donald.

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2012 at 12:28 pm

"Your move Donald."

Oh, God, don't encourage him.

Fraudulently_Joe July 18, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I have a numerical code for you to decipher, Sherrif Joe:

01000111 01101111 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 01110011 01100101 01101100 01100110 00101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110010 01100001 01100011 01101001 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110011 01101000 01101001 01110100 01100010 01100001 01100111

johnnyzhivago July 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm

That does it! I'm writing a book on Mitt Romney's driver's license!

NellCote71 July 18, 2012 at 12:59 pm

A sheriff in Arizona is spending his state's time and resources in Hawaii, why? Isn't this the same state that lets people die rather than providing Medicaid?

owhatever July 18, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Thanks for clearing that up, Joe. Hard to believe, but you are making Arizona look bad.

rickmaci July 18, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Show us the long form 1040's !!!

DahBoner July 18, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Don't worry Barack, Sherrif Joke must be getting senile.

He can't find over 30,000 felony warrants, either…
http://www.azcentral.com/news/election/azelection

redarmyzombie July 18, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Maybe Obammerz retroactively forged it?

horsedreamer_1 July 18, 2012 at 11:11 pm

The code was supplied by Stephen Gucci, from the record label.

Schmegeg July 19, 2012 at 12:26 am

Jesus. I am all for a civil society, but when will it be appropriate to deal with these people with blunt instruments?

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