the sheriff always gets his man

Joe Arpaio Proves Beyond Reasonable Doubt: Barack Obama Was Never Born

secret codesWe can’t believe we forgot to watch the “live stream” of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s press conference — which wasn’t on the teevee because of how the media is colluding to protect the illegal alien “president” — and he has some news! In fact, Arpaio’s “posse” of investigators into the national security threat (true quote!) that is B. Hussein are so good at their jobs, they even found the 95-year-old former state employee who signed Bamz’s birth certificate in the first place!

But wait! If they found the employee who signed it coming up on 51 years ago, wouldn’t that mean it hadn’t been forged? Oh you sweet, simple thing. No. You see, “It’s the codes.”

The AP is on the case!

Mike Zullo, the posse’s chief investigator, said numeric codes on certain parts of the birth certificate indicate that those parts weren’t filled out, yet those sections asking for the race of Obama’s father and his field of work or study were completed.

Zullo said investigators previously didn’t know the meaning of codes but they were explained by a 95-year-old former state worker who signed the president’s birth certificate. Zullo said a writer who published a book about Obama’s birth certificate and was aiding investigators let them listen in on an interview he conducted of the former state worker.

There you have it. “Codes.” Codes that said parts of it were left blank, even though they were filled in. You have to get up pretty early in 1961 to fool Sheriff Joe Arpaio!

But what lies is the Hawaii Attorney General’s office telling, to cover this up, again?

“President Obama was born in Honolulu, and his birth certificate is valid,” [a spokesman] said in a statement. “Regarding the latest allegations from a sheriff in Arizona, they are untrue, misinformed, and misconstrue Hawaii law.”

Well, that’s what they would say. The truth is out there.

[AP]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • thatsitfortheother1

    "Barack Obama Was Never Born"

    I believe the term used by AEI was "spawned."

    Like a catfish or something.

    • 12X34X

      I watch a lot of old X Files episodes. I could help Arpaio along with this.

      "He was created in a lab at area 51 in NM by a technology we have yet to understand. Strage sightings of turban-wearing, Sharia Law – spouting, aliens in ovoid spacecraft were reported in the area by locals during the time Obama was said to have been born. There were also numerous reports of cows mysteriously disappearing in the area. To this day, the Air Force will not release these reports to the general public,"

      These rednecks have no imaginations! Memo to Arpaio: Watch moar teevee!!!!

      • thatsitfortheother1

        I like it. Area 51 is in Nevada tho.

  • freakishlywrong

    It's raining like fuck here today. Let's hope in never rains in Maricopa fucking county again.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      It's raining stupidity there as we speak.

    • valgal2342

      Please send that real rain this way!

    • Terry

      The rain should start again the day Arpaio is run out of office.

  • ChernobylSoup

    The Higgs boson was not identified until 2012. Without the Higgs boson there can be no mass. So how did Barack Obama exist in 1961?

    • Pragmatist2

      QED

      • bobbert

        QCD

    • Generation[redacted]

      The President is made of dark matter?

      • Dr_Zoidberg

        Why you gotta play the race card?

    • http://www.indiegogo.com/revive-vlad Doktor Zoom

      The Higgs boson walks into a church, and the priest says, Hey, we don't allow Higgs bosons in here–your nickname is blasphemous. And the Higgs boson says, Oh yeah? Without me, how can you have Mass?

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Joe is speaking in code, with his 'no blahs' dog whistle

    Code back atcha Joe: ─••• ••─ •─•• •─•• ••• •••• •• ─

    • thatsitfortheother1

      .. .- — .- ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. –. .. -.. .. — – .-.-.- … …. . .-. .. ..-. ..-. .— — .

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Morse and remorse. Cool.

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        simply dashing

        • sullivanst

          Seems dotty to me.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            I see your point.

      • savethispatient

        -.- . . .–. / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. –. / – …. .- – / -.-. …. .. -.-. -.- . -.

    • JustPixelz

      if you're on a mac, how did you do that?

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        PeeCee

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    This dolt has reached and transcended that point whereby the fuss you make about such-and-such begins to say more about you than about the idiotic thing you've been ranting over ad nauseum..

    • thatsitfortheother1

      He's confusing keeping his mouth moving with avoiding federal prosecution.

    • freakishlywrong

      At what point do these assholes transcend out of the public discourse? Four years and four months?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Like a bulldog with an invisible bone in his mouth.

    • not that Dewey

      "Quixotic" = "foolishly impractical especially in the pursuit of ideals"

      "Arpaic" = ???

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        I can only come up with acronyms til I get more caffeine —

        "Anal Retentive Prick Asserts Insane Conclusions"?

      • CapnRadio

        Lemme try.

        "Arpaic" = ???

        "Foolishly impractical and sweaty, especially in the pursuit of ideals"

        • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

          Lord. Your new avi gave me a fright!

          • not that Dewey

            Frankenberry? More like Frightenberry, amirite?

          • CapnRadio

            Just a temporary glitch. Nothing to see here. Move along.

    • HarryButtle

      Dude, that describes EVERYTHING that Sheriff Joe has ever done.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Arpaio speaks from experience, as he rose from the muck.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Sheriff Joe: Gol dang it deputy, I told you to round me up a little "posse!"

    • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      I beg to differ. There's no evidence he rose.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Joe and Jan are why AZ can't have nice things.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      I didn't know my kids went to visit Joe and Jan. Was wondering where they were.

    • Guppy

      Oh, I'm sure there are a hell of a lot more reasons than just those two.

    • Callyson

      Jon, also, too. (Kyl, major league asshole in the Senate.)

  • freakishlywrong

    Oh. And for fuck's sake.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    That's ironic, because I wish Sheriff Joe was never born either.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Derpaio has a brain code. He's taking antihistamines

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    It's time to again reopen the murder investigation of Glenn Beck. Clearly, Arpaio won't let something like jurisdiction or decency get in the way.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Or common sense, or intelligence….

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    What we've got here is a failure to communicate.

  • bureaucrap

    If the birth certificate was not completed properly, that means the "individual" associated with it doesn't exist. QED.

  • Estproph

    Wait, I'm confused. He's a sheriff? That can't be right.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      And is Orly Taitz a dentist, a lawyer, or a researcher? I think the conspiracy is that none of these people are pedigreed properly, yet they command a shitload of attention.

      OH MY GOD… I just had an epiphany… since they earn attention by bloviating and making nonsense for a camera spectacle, they're not just wingnuts…

      …they are the new Jersey Shore!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Oh man, that's such a diss to Snooki and JWow.

    • One_who_wanders

      Deputy Dawg would be a marked improvement.
      Or Quick Draw McGraw!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I'll do the thinnin' around here, and don't you fergit it!

        • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

          KABONG!

    • Tundra Grifter

      So – Sheriff Joe isn't the dumbest guy in the county. There are all those jokers who voted him in.

      • zippy_w_pinhead

        No, the ones who vote for him are fear stricken retirees. the really dumb ones are the people who actually buy their gawd awful books

  • hagajim

    You've heard of the Danvinci Code….well Joe has his own, its called DaDumbfuck Code.

  • CivicHoliday

    I could not give less of a shit. Please go away Joe.

  • TheGyrus

    DAMMIT! After all the trouble the Democrats went to to smuggle a Kenyan Muslim into the country, plant fake notices of his birth in the 1961 Honolulu Advertiser, educate him to hate America at an Indonesian madrasa, cover up the years he spent as a spy for Pakistan, set him up as a community organizer, get him elected to his first term as President, the whole freaking plan is now going to fall apart because some idiot screwed up the codes on his fake birth certificate! DETAILS, PEOPLE!

    • LesBontemps

      It's this kind of sloppiness that will be the undoing of our efforts to institute sharia law death panels at the FEMA re-education camps.

      • Dr_Zoidberg

        Hey, I have been tirelessly working to institute sharia law death panels at my local FEMA re-education camp. I just keep getting distracted by free healthcare and food stamps.

    • freakishlywrong

      The Smoking Man would like a word…

      • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

        No! Don't talk to him! Trust no one!

    • Tommy1733

      You know who _else_ smuggled a Kenyan Muslim into the country, planted fake notices of his birth in the 1961 Honolulu Advertiser, educated him to hate America at an Indonesian madrasa, covered up the years he spent as a spy for Pakistan, set him up as a community organizer, and got him elected to his first term as President?

      • Boojum

        Nixon?

      • horsedreamer_1

        Alexander Payne?

    • Terry

      Yeah, too bad they didn't think to pick a Muslim man who looks whiter than Arpaio and give him a super white sounding name like Bob Johnson.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    It is easier to believe in the Arpaio Code than deal with the fact that US Amercia voted a Nearer with a furriner sounding name into the office of Preznit.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      It's a pity this isn't in New Mexico, because then we could neatly tie in Roswell…

      • widestanceromance

        The codes make the connection crystal clear to any real patriot, and to deny this is to forsake the baby Geebis.

      • 12X34X

        The Tea Tards don't care! New Mexico!!! Why not? Just do it anyway!

  • jodyleek

    The Duh Grinchy Code?

  • SorosBot

    The 95-year-old also explained that in the upcoming election he was supporting Calvin Coolidge.

    • Tundra Grifter

      After explaining he'd invested his entire retirement account in American Buggy Whip, he predicted a World Series sweep by the Boston Braves.

      • SorosBot

        Boston sucks, man; the Philadelphia As all the way!

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Ma, Ma, where's my Pa?
      In the White House, ha, ha, ha!

      Edit: Oops! Wrong Pres. Sorry!
      (Still love it, though.)

  • freakishlywrong

    NEEDS MORE SEX-CRIMES INVESTIGATIN'.

  • arihaya

    This is not a problem at all. According to Romney, Obama only need to incorporate himself as Barack Obama Inc, and then he will be able to get a full personhood.

    Because corporation are peple, my friends.

    • FakaktaSouth

      And he can retroactively call himself born anywhere at anytime. The Romney way of doing things is actually very helpful.

      • NellCote71

        And retroactively be baptized into the "right" religion.

    • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      And, of course, incorporate retroactively.

  • IncenseDebate

    Elementary my dear dumbfuck.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      It never occured to me how much Arpaio resembled consulting detective Sherlock Gnomes.

      • eggsacklywright

        "Ella Fitzgerald, my dear Whopper."

  • chascates

    A conspiracy so vast and so well done you'd have to be a moron to pay any attention at all.

  • proudgrampa

    What is Morse code for "You are a freakin' idiot, Sheriff!!" ?

    • Vecchiojohn

      Duh duh-duh duh duh-duh duh duh duh-duh duh duh-duh duh duh

    • thatsitfortheother1

      See above.

    • Boojum

      -.– — ..- / .- .-. . / .- / ..-. .-. . .- -.- .. -. .—-. / .. -.. .. — – –..– / … …. . .-. .. ..-. ..-. .-.-.- /

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    The truth is out there.

    So is Arpaio.

  • Pragmatist2

    Mitt's tax returns have missing information as well – All of it.

  • Beetagger

    How on earth has this guy not had a stroke yet?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      He has, his body just hasn't caught on.

      His brain, however…

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      He pledged his soul to Satan, and Ol' Scratch don't even want that thing.

  • el_donaldo

    Codes?! I can help! Venusians are always tapping out secret codes and their mysteries though my mercury fillings. They've already given me Obama's complete Pakistan-Mars teleportation schedule AND the locations of the next five times Jesus will appear in a tortilla.

    I bet I could be one of them Posse Chief Investigators.

    • eggsacklywright

      "Posse Comitatus…"

      "Did you just call me a pussy communist?"

    • proudgrampa

      Your comment puts me in mind of the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI).

      Maybe we should embark on a search for Terrestrial Intelligence. I suspect that, well, we will find that there is none. It's in the codes, man!

      • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

        Eric Idle Libel!

        So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
        How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
        And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
        'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.

  • qwerty42

    So Hawaii isn't part of the US and doesn't issue real birf certificates and goodness knows what else.

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      Bad news for my dad who was born in Hawaii. Do you know what the difference between my dad's and the President's birth certificates is? My dad's says "Territory of Hawaii" instead of "State of Hawaii"

  • mrpuma2u

    My last comment got deleted?!?!?!? I guess editrix was right, intense debate has been taken over by Sherrif Joe.

    • eggsacklywright

      Mine, too. Musta been the Latin quote.

      • mrpuma2u

        I mentioned "time lord" so that must really set off the foil lined hat crowd.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Scott Baio
    Joe Arpaio

    There's something here that sounds like code to me.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    This is almost as interesting as that whole "Davinci Code" thing and should probably be made into a summer blockbuster starring Tom Hanks as Sheriff Joe in "The Arpaio Code"

    • chascates

      Not Steven Seagal?

      • widestanceromance

        Gary Busey's big toe was born for that role.

  • Limeylizzie

    I was born, also, today July 18th, as well as Nelson Mandela, Clifford Odets, Goldie Taylor and , best of all, Red Skelton!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Wait. Is that code?

    • metamarcisf

      Good night and God Bless.

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      Happy birthday, Lizzie!

    • chascates

      Happy Birthday! Tomorrow is my birthday so in your honor I'll starti drinking right now.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Prove it! PROVE IT!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Yea! Tits or GTFO!

    • neiltheblaze

      Happy New Year, Liz.

    • fartknocker

      We knew you we're special but WOW, you're very, very special. Happy Birthday. Oh, you forgot to mention that Willie Nelson was also born on July 18th.

      • Tundra Grifter

        And, according to NPR radio moments ago, Vin Diesel.

    • freakishlywrong

      A birthday upfist for you, girl, and a thousand more!

    • ChernobylSoup

      You have those in England? I thought birthdays were an American thing. Did they give you one when you moved here?

      • Tundra Grifter

        Is that like when young Chinese ladies come to the US and pick a new name? Generally, in my experience, "Jennifer."

    • LesBontemps

      Happy birthday you lobsterback infiltrator.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      Hey Lizzie, wishing you the best on your birthday. In lieu of usual horrorscope, I’ll share from this geekworthy new numbers trivia book I just bought myself for my own early-bday… Whereby: if your birth date is stated in europe-friendly format with zero included I can share that 18.7 or 1807 (eighteenth day seventh month) is the fifth voracious number. So go and be voracious* sweet girl!

      *because I could not find anything elsewhere on teh internets about voracious numbers it’s occurred to me maybe it’s a figment of the author’s imagination – not that anything’s wrong with that, imaginary numbers sometimes outperform their reputations…

      • Limeylizzie

        Excellent!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      "Red" Skelton. I knew it all along.

    • proudgrampa

      Happy Birthday, Love!

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Pics or it didn't happen!!

      • Limeylizzie
        • Tundra Grifter

          2L:

          I hope it wasn't rush hour. I can just see the folks packing in behind her, and about half way up realizing maybe that wasn't such a hot idea.

          • Limeylizzie

            I'm betting money on her Tea Party credentials.

    • FakaktaSouth

      Oh yay! Happy Birthday! And happy co-July Birthday month, I'm 12 days into being all kinds of 40. Your born-on-this-day people are way cooler than mine though – I just got Sly Stallone, W and Ronald Reagan's second wife Nancy. Much love.

      • Limeylizzie

        Oh yours are ghastly! Thank God for you, single-handedly raising the honour and merit of the day.

    • ttommyunger

      Happy BD, hope Mr. L is recovering nicely.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Happy Birthday!!

      (One of my girls was born on Hitler's B-day, but I like your "birthday buddies" better.)

    • Tundra Grifter

      2L:

      Also – (again, thank you Public Radio) – Martha Reeves of Martha and the Vandellas. Hope you are Dancing In the Street during this Heatwave.

      And Screaming Jay Hawkins. When the Rolling Stones toured the USA, they thanked the R&B pioneers and Blues musicians they'd listened to in England by hiring them to open their shows.

      Screaming Jay Hawkins began his act by popping out of a coffin.

      There's music in your stars, 2L!

      • Limeylizzie

        And lots of negroes! Yay!!!

    • Tundra Grifter

      2L:

      And Hunter Thompson. Thank you, Writers' Almanac and Garrison Keillor.

      Best of all – You!

  • GorzoTheMighty

    Read it as Arpaio's "pussy" instead of "posse". Might take the rest of the day to recover from that image. Is it wrong to start drinking at 9:00 am?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Since when do Sheriffs just embroider their star onto a polo shirt? That is SOOOOOO LAME!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Silk screening would be just fine.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Or how about one of those gold star badge decals they give kids when they take a tour of the Sherrif's HQ?

  • chascates

    This is, after all, the state that allowed BOTH the Japanese to attack us AND convinced McDonald's to serve Spam.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Hawaii had it coming, wearing those grass skirts low on her hips…

  • An_Outhouse

    Did a record label sign the Insane Arpaio Posse or did they have to set up a Kickstart project for their next CD?

  • fitley

    The only one telling the truth in this matter is George Lopez.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Red Neck Code?

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Arizona Tax Dollars hard at work.

  • SorosBot

    We've laughed at the birthers' attempts to uncover the time-traveling Democrat party conspiracy to make Obama born in America retroactively, but now that Rush Limbaugh has discovered how Democrats went back to the early 90s to create a Batman villain named Bane, which sounds just like Bain, so that The Dark Knight Rises would damage Mitt Romney's chance of winning the election, we know the time-traveling Democrat conspiracy is real!

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      a real time traveling democrat would make sure kitty harris never got elected.

  • Preferred Customer

    A very reasonable maxim for living life is "never listen to a guy with a mustache." Sorry, Mike Zullo.

  • mavenmaven

    They didn't speak to the 95 year old, they were only allowed to listen in to tapes of an interview with him. "Republicans" and "tapes" in the same sentence pretty much says it all to me.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    This is the long-form version of "I know a guy who told me his cousin has proof that …" How soon until drivers who get pulled over in Maricopa County need to show secret birth certificate codes, along with license, registration and passport?

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    This is great news for manufacturers of medication for psychotics.

  • HempDogbane

    And some people say government can't do anything right. Sheriff Joe sure proves them wrong !

    • thatsitfortheother1

      They need to shrink his government down a wee bit more before they can fit him in that bathtub…

  • Guppy

    Remember: if you don't give full faith and credit to a Hawaiian birth certificate, you hate the Constitution.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Yeah, but, NEGRO!

      • Guppy

        As you may recall, Negroes are exactly why there's the Full Faith and Credit Clause to begin with.

  • LesBontemps

    Zullo said a writer who published a book about Obama's birth certificate and was aiding investigators let them listen to an interview he conducted with the former state worker.

    Dollars to donuts says it's Jerome Corsi.

    • CapnRadio

      Okay, but Sheriff Joe gets to eat the donuts.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    If Obama was never born that means that he is really just a giant fetus, which means that republicans should love him? Gah! My head hurts.

  • ChapterUndVerse

    “President Obama was born in Honolulu, and his birth certificate is valid,” [a spokesman] said in a statement. “Regarding the latest allegations from a sheriff in Arizona, they are untrue, misinformed, and misconstrue Hawaii law willfully.”

    /fixed

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    More proof that Obama is a magic negro!

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Maybe he and Orly should hook up and make some [Redacted] babies.

  • FajitaFriday

    Somethun bout this pic……doesn't he have a profile on HOBO-SEXUALS?

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      No, they kicked him off. He was scarin' away all the hobos.

  • neiltheblaze

    Just wait until they discover Barry's time machine. Then the jig will be up.

    • ChessieNefercat

      So to speak.

  • ElPinche

    Meanwhile in birther koo koo land, Arpaio scours a random lake bed for clues.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Since it's Arizona during a drought, this reads like a replay of "Holes."

  • SayItWithWookies

    The truth is in there. And eventually Sherrif Joe's gonna get so deep into it that he'll be looking out from between his own teeth.

  • Vecchiojohn

    “Regarding the latest allegations from a sheriff in Arizona, they are untrue, misinformed, and misconstrue Hawaii law.”

    Bureaucratic double talk. What are they hiding?

    • pdiddycornchips

      Who you gonna believe? Some faceless bureaucrat in exotic Hawaii or Sheriff Batman and his 95 year old Robin?

  • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

    It will be a really strange moment when even Arpaio doesn't understand what Arpaio is trying to do anymore. He'll be calling his next press conference to argue with himself as two distinct personalities.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    they have a fucking POSSE? a birther POSSE?

    oh AZ never change!!

  • Limeylizzie

    The best birthday present I have ever received was my beloved MrLimeylizzie singing "Happy Birthday" from his hospital bed in Los Angeles. He is back to normal and is awesome!

    • ttommyunger

      Great news!

  • ttommyunger

    "…allegations from a sheriff in Arizona, they are untrue, misinformed, and misconstrue Hawaii law.” Those native types are so quaint: all those words just to say "Bullshit".

  • Tundra Grifter

    Next week, Sheriff Joe's volunteer posse is expected to release its report documenting its investigation of the terrible sexual assult on Jerry Sandusky by packs of young boys.

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    Doesn't this guy have a real job?

  • Dildeaux

    I bet you didnt know that Barry Soweto has a fraudulent SS# also!!1!

    Yup, his number is actually the number shared by a guy who lived six decades ago in the US northeast.

    This CT is actually true. The willfully ignorant play along, cause SS#'s are…wait for it…recycled.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com ASHLEIGH_Joe

    Zullo said investigators previously didn’t know the meaning of codes but they were explained by a 95-year-old former state worker who signed the president’s birth certificate

    Unless this 95-year-old former state worker is claiming that she knowingly committed fraud when she signed it, or that she signed it in 1993, I'm not sure how exactly you get from "we found the Department of Health official who certified the birth certificate 50 years ago, and relied on the information she gave us," to "and therefore it must be a fake", by way of logic.

    • pdiddycornchips

      The CODES!!! It's all in the CODES!!!

  • elburritodeluxe

    From The Republic's article:

    While Arpaio's investigators were in Hawaii for 10 days, they located a former local registrar who might have written coding on the copy of Obama's birth certificate posted on the White House website. The woman is now 95 years old.

    After the team's return from Hawaii, a national leader in the so-called birther movement who has worked with the sheriff's volunteer investigators placed a call to the woman, pretending to be a news reporter. The woman, who Zullo referred to as "amazingly sharp," told the fake reporter that the numbers on Obama's birth certificate were inconsistent with the time and place of his birth.

    Her information, other inconsistencies investigators said they discovered in documents posted on the White House website and the refusal of Hawaii officials to let Arpaio's investigators inspect the original birth certificate led the team to conclude the document is a fraud.

    The team also discovered information that they said caused concern about Hawaii's lax standards for verifying where children are born or where their parents live.

    Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/news/politics/articles/2

    • Tundra Grifter

      Nine of those 10 days were probably spent on the beach with Donald Chump's investigators and umbrella drinks.

    • pdiddycornchips

      "The team also discovered information that they said caused concern about Hawaii's lax standards for verifying where children are born or where their parents live. "

      AZ has lax standards too. Or better put, AZ lacks standards. I am sure the good people of AZ are proud to fund sheriff Joe's trip down the rabbit hole.

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Fraudulently_Joe

      They phoned up a 95 year-old to get information under false pretenses? "Amazingly sharp" is one hell of a fig leaf, there.

  • Tundra Grifter

    At the risk of taking these residents of Wingnutzistan-stan-stan seriously, a clerk went over the document, checked the entries, and wrote in pencil simple numeric codes for data entry purposes.

    Box 7g. asks "Is Resident on a Farm of Plantation?" There are two choices: "Yes" and "No." "No" is checked, and someone wrote in pencil "2."

    Box 11 "Birthplace" (of Father). Entry is "Kenya, East Africa." Penciled "2." "1" would be "Within the United States" and "2" would be "Outside the United States."

    Box 14 "Race" (of Mother). Penciled code is "1." Duh! Of course Caucasian is the first race on the list of possible choices.

    Other boxes in which the information has not been filled have a "0" in pencil – meaning, no information provided.

    This "code" is not exactly the ENIGMA.

    • Nostrildamus

      Clear enough. A "1" in box 14 obviously meant that the kid's a socialist.

  • pdiddycornchips

    Joe (and others like him) are not just birthers, they're zombie birthers. They refuse to die.

    Your move Donald.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "Your move Donald."

      Oh, God, don't encourage him.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Fraudulently_Joe

    I have a numerical code for you to decipher, Sherrif Joe:

    01000111 01101111 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 01110011 01100101 01101100 01100110 00101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110010 01100001 01100011 01101001 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110011 01101000 01101001 01110100 01100010 01100001 01100111

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    That does it! I'm writing a book on Mitt Romney's driver's license!

  • NellCote71

    A sheriff in Arizona is spending his state's time and resources in Hawaii, why? Isn't this the same state that lets people die rather than providing Medicaid?

  • owhatever

    Thanks for clearing that up, Joe. Hard to believe, but you are making Arizona look bad.

  • rickmaci

    Show us the long form 1040's !!!

  • DahBoner

    Don't worry Barack, Sherrif Joke must be getting senile.

    He can't find over 30,000 felony warrants, either…
    http://www.azcentral.com/news/election/azelection

  • redarmyzombie

    Maybe Obammerz retroactively forged it?

  • horsedreamer_1

    The code was supplied by Stephen Gucci, from the record label.

  • Schmegeg

    Jesus. I am all for a civil society, but when will it be appropriate to deal with these people with blunt instruments?