Be an American, With John SununuWell it has been quite a rollercoaster of a week for non-apology apologies, has it not? Like the foreign policy aide who ONLY TWEETS ABOUT CHINAMEN OUT OF FRUSTRATION and THEN that unfortunate “satirical” reference to fried chicken on the Vermont GOP Facebook page that “saddened” everyone involved, and NOW it’s time for our favorite fat, pot-smoking southerner John Sununu to issue HIS non-apology for his own ill-advised commentary. (Don’t worry, Rush, you’re still our favorite fat, oxycontin-guzzling southerner and DON’T YOU CHANGE, man!)

See, Sununu (who you may remember as the Chief of Staff that HW fired due to Sununu’s penchant for using $3,945-per-hour military jets to wing to two dental appointments in Boston, at least one ski resort in Colorado, a football game in New Jersey, and his parents’ house in Florida) insulted our Kenyan president this morning while on a conference call with reporters. Nothing says “AMERICA” like taking a half a million dollars in government money to go to the dentist (twice), so Sununu felt totally free to call President Obama a foreign pot-smoking socialist (FOR REALZ). Now, he’s issued a helluva non-apology to none other than Wolf Blitzer:

Via CNN:

Mitt Romney’s national campaign co-chair John Sununu apologized Tuesday afternoon for questioning President Barack Obama patriotism earlier in the day.

Appearing on CNN’s “The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer,” Sununu said he regrets using those words.

“I’m apologizing for using those words,” said Sununu. “I did say those words that were there and, frankly, I made a mistake.”

Sununu harshly criticized Obama’s leadership in a conference call with reporters and saying he wished “this president would learn how to be an American.”

The conference call came on the heals of the Obama campaign’s continued attacks on presumptive GOP nominee Mitt Romney’s business record and reluctance to release more tax returns.

First: yes. It says “heals” instead of “heels” on CNN, which is fun in its own way. And how dare those words be THERE, tempting Sununu to use them in this way?? Also: sadly, this would have been my favorite non-apology of the day if only it hadn’t had so much competition. Better luck next time, John!


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  • johnnymeatworth

    So wait, he's retroactively a Harold and Kumar fan now?

  • WhatTheHeck

    Gideon checked out
    leaving no doubt
    as to Romney’s revival…

  • Barb

    Speaking of our favorite fat, oxycontin-guzzling southerner…
    Rush has learned that the villain in the new Batman movie, due to be released on Friday, was named Bane as an attempted political attack on Mitt Romney. The character Bane was first introduced in January 1993. Looks like Obama needs to apologize for this next.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Sounds like Romney needs to apologize to Batman now!

      • Barb

        I'd like to see less apologizing and more job creation.

        • johnnymeatworth

          Bruce Wayne creates jobs! Granted, it's mostly due to the massive property damage he incurs….

      • WhatTheHeck

        These cast of characters need their own DC comics now, but I think Cat woman (above) can take care of them with her whip. Whip ’em good.

        • sullivanst

          ♪♫When a problem comes along
          You must whip it.♪♫

      • Dr. Nick Riviera

        And as we all remember, Batman is really GWB

        • Jus_Wonderin

          It's code. GWB backwards is….Bruce Wayne, Gazzillonaire.

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      Yeah, Obama retroactively insulted Rmoney.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Well, there was Obama, back there in time, and along came Mitt looking to go back and retroactively quit that job-killing job of his, and I guess Obama just couldn't help getting in a retroactive dig. I mean, since he was back there and all, why not?

    • Given how the Secret Overlords who actually control the Kenyan Usurper managed to travel in time back to 1961 so they place fake birth announcements in Honolulu newspapers, a trip to the offices of DC Comics in 1993 would have been a cinch.

      • mavenmaven

        Oh, those darned time traveling Eternals again.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Dr. Whathisname …

          • Dashboard Buddha

            Who do you mean?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            That's right.

        • bobbert

          Time kettle libel!

          • mavenmaven

            I loved that book… who knew it was non-fiction?

      • People seem to have forgotten about those two FBI (?) agents who swear they saw a young Barack Obama on a DARPA-managed trip to Mars, yaknow.

        • bobbert

          Random yahoos, I b'lieve.

    • As I said to Negropolis earlier, the rightwing spin on that movie is going to be that Bane and his mobs in the street are Occupy, and Bruce Wayne is the Noble 1%. I will bet you $10,000 that some Republican reviewer is going to describe the movie from that POV in masturbatory detail.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        But does Batman bitch about his taxes, and run around Gotham creating jerbs?

        • AbandonHope

          Given the collateral damage he typically does, I think he's creating a ton of jobs in the construction, demolition, and mortuary industries.

          • glasspusher

            *ahem* urban renewal…

          • Methinks the urbans are gettin' mighty tired of all that renewal, gp.

          • glasspusher

            Didn't the sarcasm come across? How's this: Hiroshima = urban renewalI knew a man who's brother was one of the three American POWs in the Hiroshima jail, too…but I digress…

          • No, go ahead. That sounds fascinating. You seem so young to have known someone who must surely be in their 90s by now?

          • glasspusher

            He was one of my mom's suitors after her second husband died. My mom tends to attract widowers who were married 50 years or so, then has to beat them off with a stick. Maybe that's where I get my propensity for being abused by women. He died a few years back himself. I'm in my late 40s, or at least my body is…my dad served in the Pacific, and had kids on the late side, so half of me is a baby boomer…

          • My dad saw action in WW II, and he just died two years ago, in his 90s. I'm about two decades older than you, though. He was in the Pacific, also, and had his first kid when he was close to 40.

            When you say "being abused by women," you do mean role-playing, right? Innocent (and sexxxay) fun? If not, then I hope that stops happening, my dear.

            Thanks for the interesting story.

      • Jason_inthe_Peg

        You mean rugged entrepreneur and individualist Bruce Wayne will smite the 99% rather than go Galt?

        There will be much fapping for sure.

      • GeorgiaBurning

        The Dark Knight graphic novel is pretty political, and very much anti-Reagan.

        • Really? Frank Miller is well-known as a right winger.

          • BerkeleyBear

            I always get the feeling that the arc is very anti-government (mainly because of corruption and inefficiency) but somehow it isn't Randian. The uber wealthy who hoard wealth and use government at the expense of the poor get slammed, too, and Wayne at least feels conflicted about being born into money and supposedly has a goal of getting the city back to a functioning level. So I don't think Miller would have much use for either party these days.

          • Which "Dark Knight" are you talking about? Frank Miller's original, 4-part "The Dark Knight Returns" in the comics? The other stuff DC slaps "Dark Knight" on? Or the Nolan movie trilogy?

          • GeorgiaBurning

            The original four part series. Gotham is depicted as an ungovernable morass, with useless politicians unable to stop a crime wave. The President is a thinly-disguised Reagan, living as an invalid except when he is juiced up for TV spots. The US is involved in wars in odd spots around the globe. The ending is Galtian, but there is hope.

      • no question they will.

        also: i don't know where christopher nolan comes down on the political divide (though i have a guess and i'm guessing it's not with the rushpig), but i do remember seeing that trailer – what? six months ago? and i remember thinking: christopher nolan is a lucky lucky man and has so tapped into the zeitgeist.

        also, in my fantasy world, ows IS bane and his minions. at least in terms of their heft.

        • I don't remember who it was specifically, but they thought the second Nolan Batman was about W. and terrorists, so it's a no-brainer.

          I thought it was remarkable that the Nolans made a gritty, '70s style serious crime drama out of a comic I hated as a kid, also.

          • BerkeleyBear

            That tone, at least, does borrow from the Dark Knight graphic novels. That was the first superhero comic I ever saw that was drawn super dark and scary. Part of why at a time when face price for most comics was a buck or less, those books were 3 on their face and10 bucks and up in stores when they came out (and that was for second printing).

          • I bought the first issue of Miller's "Dark Knight". I don't think I ever read it all the way through. His drawing style is ugly, and apparently so is his personal philosophy. Perhaps the Burton movies borrowed some of the dread and gnarly, grotesque atmosphere from Miller's stuff, but I don't see the Nolan movies as very closely related to Miller's work. Nolan's first two films portray Gotham City as a very real and shiny place that is corrupt, despite the modern high-tech surfaces.

            All of this is tempered, of course, by the fact that I stopped seriously reading comics in 1980, for the most part, and I have never liked DC comics, although I have enjoyed Burton's and Nolan's take on Batman.

      • horsedreamer_1

        You just wrote Douthat's review for the upcoming NR newsstand issue.

      • bobbert

        That'll work about as well as last month's beisbal analogy.

      • Dr. Nick Riviera

        too late. Because one thing Bane does is kick some rich people out of their homes, it already has begun. Plus as I mentiond, last movie they said Batman was Bush.

    • Well, duh. Christopher Nolan* retroactively created the character to make fun of Romney, as of 1993.

      *No relation to actual Bane co-creator Graham Nolan, as far as I can tell

      • Everybody knows *that.*

        Gads, the whining that's going on! It pleaseth my heart and riseth as incense to the nostrils of the Gods, of burnt offerings and sacrifice.

        Sununu is now making apology #2 on national teevz.

        • Heehee! These republipig pussies are on an Apology Tour. What's Mittens' book titled again?

          • Butch_Wagstaff

            So many "apologies" and it's only Tuesday!

          • What Butch said.

            Over on the RWNJ blogs there are mutterings of "He isn't even *trying* to win this thing," and on the WashEx, some RW shill/hack is pointing out that Mitt's fabled "Death Star" campaign machine *utterly crushed* some fine, fine Republicans. I b'leev he's referring to a certain fat serial adulterer, an aphasia sufferer, a Muslim-and-Ghey-obsessed nutbag with a Queen for a wife, and a frothy mix of lube and shit.

          • Well said.

    • sati_demise

      Fiction is stranger than truth!

      • comptoneffect

        True but racist-based psychotic episodes are still pretty fucked up.

    • AbandonHope

      That man's stupidity truly knows no bounds. I had no idea oxycontin abuse could lead to such tragic brain damage.

    • docterry6973

      Hey, Romney ain't the only one with a time machine. We all know that Barry planted those birth announcements in the Hawaii papers.

    • Jennyjen798

      Dang, just 1993? It seemed like it was a lot longer than that. Then again, I guess American youths wouldn't have been ready for a half caribeño villain any sooner.

      • Can I just say how inordinately excited I am that Nolan is, by all appearances, playing up the caribeño and self-taught supergenius elements of Bane? It's sort of a welcome change from most of the recent treatments of the character.

        • Yes, you CAN!

          You know you're just making me wanna go see this thing, right?

    • Guppy

      And Bane, much like Romney, is Hispanic.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Hardly surprising to hear that sack of shit whinge about Bain's fee-fees being hurt. Bain Capital actually owns him. Yep, Bain owns Clear Channel, which owns PRN, which owns Limpnads. Oh, the irony!

    • kingofmeh

      this is a surprisingly fitting descriptor for rush:

    • anniegetyerfun

      This is exactly how like in Battlestar Galactica, the leader is named Adama, and it rhymes with Obama and it was obviously planned to make Obama look good. You know, just because the dates don't line up doesn't mean that this tinfoil hat doesn't fit real tight!

    • Callyson

      First he went back 50 years to invent his birth certificate, then he went back 19 years to invent a character to insult his challenger. Is there no limit to what Obama will do? Chicago politics! Socialism!

  • He was sorry before he was sorry

  • I sincerely reget that I cannot come up with a funny nickname for this douche that is better than "Sununu".

    • ProgressiveInga


    • valgal2342


    • miss_grundy


    • Dudleydidwrong


    • Su-nunu-nunu-stan-stan-stan?

    • BaldarTFlagass


    • ChewyNugent

      How's about Banaynays?

  • sullivanst

    Whose job was it to hide those words from John Sununu? That lackey should be fired, which is good news for Mitt Romney.

    • Those words were just sitting around!

      • Prepositioning him!

        • va_real

          That's preposterous!

        • Madam Killjoy

          *golf clap*

        • sullivanst

          Well played, sir. Well played!

  • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

    Unfortunately, I heard this bouffant toad-impersonator on CNN today.

    After that apology, Wolf "what day is it?" Blitzer let the fucker ramble for about ten minutes on the subject of "That Kenyan bastard has destroyed the economy", including this (paraphrased) gem

    Blitzer: If the prez is so bad at economying, then why the Dow Jones done do good? Eh?

    Toad: That's businessmen who are excellent and bootstraps and stuff and the President has nothing to do with it.

    Taking a leaf from the "everything good has nothing to do with hopey, but everything bad is his fault including when you cut yourself while drunkenly trying to open a can of nuts" playbook

    • I'm *really* liking "bouffant toad-impersonator," Fukui. Just had to tell you that.

    • ahem. you do not cut yourself while drunkenky opening a can of nuts. you cut yourself while opening the second bottle of WINE.

      at least, this is what people who like moscato tell me.

      • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

        I was going to put "accidently krazy-glue yourself to a gin bottle" but figured that I was probably the only person to have done that.

        • bobbert

          I knew I left too early.

        • i have krazy-glued myself to the bottle of crazy glue, but that's not anywhere near as funny.

          (my delightful godfather – may he rest in peace – was a heart surgeon and my father's (dartmouth) frat brother. as you can imagine, he never stood on ceremony or medical nicety. i remember several years ago, he remarked on the dreadful state of my hands (i believe at the time i was in a fight show and probably building a set and also repainting my living room for the 12th time). he said: you know, crazy glue is a great solution for stinging cuts.

          i said: i did not know that and i will try it out.

          not only have i never looked back, i actually TRAVEL with it… i feel about crazy glue like i feel about red wine.)

          so, yeah, krazy-glued myself to a bottle of crazy glue.

          • Dashboard Buddha

            Super Glue is the shit. Back when I flew model airplanes a lot, I would frequently get bitten by a prop or whatnot. I would then spray a bit of the alcohol based fuel on the cut jump about/watch the pretty birdies, and then hit it with some superglue. Bam, back to flying.

        • Now you're just tormenting us.

          Details or GTFO.

          • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

            Ah, well. After a couple of said gin and tonics I broke the cork thing on the bottle. It was Hendrick's, which I heartily recommend, and has a cork with a kinda plastic thing on the top. In my enthusiasm for continued gin imbibing I'd snapped the plastic bit off and couldn't get the cork out.

            Fast forward to having the ace idea of gluing the plastic bit back on the cork (which worked), and overjoyed at the idea of another g&t, I forgot that my fingers were still covered in glue and managed to glue myself to the bottle.

            Could still pour it though, so it wasn't all bad.

          • Vecchiojohn

            It's this kind of dedication to drinking that makes America great.

          • LesBontemps

            I see where you went wrong here; you could have avoided the whole mess had you been drinking vodka & tonic instead.

          • Just FYI, warm tea through the nose is just as bad as HOT tea, and splatters up your 'puter something horrible.

      • BoroPrimorac

        The only way you can cut yourself opening the second bottle of wine is if you've got Hulk hands.

        • you have never seen my bottles of wine. obv.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Moscato? You'd have to be on your third bottle, and flying solo.

    • Callyson

      If there were any justice in this world, Christiane Amanpour would have Bitzer's spot on CNN, while he would be a local anchor in Fairbanks. If he were lucky…

    • C_R_Eature

      bouffant toad-impersonator


      We would also have accepted "Blustering Blow-Toad".

  • Sununu's about as up to date as a Betamax…what a fat, white blast from the past.

    • I actually remember my high school American Government teacher babbling about Sununu.. I thought he said something about 'sinew'; 'John 'Sinew woo?' I wrote to myself thinking 'why in the fuck do I have to remember this'? (It turns out I didn't, but for some reason I can recall this trivial shit 25 years later–maybe because I went to a Republican high school).

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Like the Old Man of the Mountain, he's a NH fixture that crashed to the ground years ago. Efforts to restore either one are futile.

  • Yes, there is a lot of competition, but think about just how useful Sununu's version is:

    Rapist: “I’m apologizing for using my penis,” said Sununu. “I did use my penis that was there and, frankly, I made a mistake.”

    Drug users: “I’m apologizing for using those drugs,” said Limbaugh. “I did use those drugs that were there and, frankly, I made a mistake.”

    War Criminals: “I’m apologizing for using those bullets,” said Rep. Allen West. “I did use those bullets that were there and, frankly, I made a mistake.”

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      Rmoney: "I'm apologizing for outsourcing those jobs. I did outsource those jobs that were there, and, frankly, I made a mistake and a metric shit-ton of cash. Wait, ignore that last bit."

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        No worries – he'll clean up the comments before the press is allowed to print them.

    • Sparky McGruff

      Sounds like advice Daniel Tosh should be listening to.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Those words were there, and they were just asking to be used. Did you see those skimpy little prepositions they were wearing?

    • Boojum

      Libel is the new rape.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Talking – it's just like riding bumper cars blindfolded! Those darn things just get in the way. Nothing to do but collide with them.

    • AddHomonym


    • Barrelhse

      Dangling participles~ there, I've said it.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Wagging its apostrophe, acting sexy.

      • Vecchiojohn

        Flaunting a colon.

    • Chichikovovich

      clothed in those indefinite articles.

  • va_real

    Sununu is a sorry southerner? I'm so confused?

    • Beowoof

      I don't know about southerner, but he is a real Arab. And considering the number of republicans included in that group maybe Arabs are really out to destroy us.

      • va_real

        And Limbaugh is from MO, so he's not a southerner either, nor is he an Ay-rab. But perhaps they both belong to the southernmost regions of Hades? That works- yes, that works nicely.

      • OneDollarJuana

        If he's an A-rab, how come he's not on the no-fly list?

        Or is he?

        • Maybe that's why he had to take those government jets to get to the dentist!

    • DeathOfIrony

      I thought he was a Cuban, the cute little pudgy Che'-lovin marxist revo that he is inside…

  • How is it that the Romney campaign defeated the likes of T-Paw, Gingrich, Bachmann, Perry, Caine, and Santorum?

    Wait, I just answered my own question.

    • sullivanst

      Did you miss Josh Marshall's aphasia tweet, or did you just forget the words?

  • The Republicans are starting to look like The Keystone Kops, at this point.

    Negropolis, wherever you are, weren't you the one that said that RWNJs were going to lose their minds about the new villain in the Dark Knight/Batman series, named Bane?

    You were right, buddy. Too damn right.

    • sullivanst

      First comment over there is perfection, so I'mma copy it right over here:

      Chuck Dixon who first created the Bane character almost 20 years ago must've had one of those time machines that Mitt Romney used to retire
      retroactively from Bain.

      — Michael MacKay

      PS., surely Negropolis was just the right right?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        "A lot of people are going to see the movie. And it's a lot of brain-dead people — entertainment, the pop culture crowd — and they're going to hear Bane in the movie and they're going to associate Bain."

        Gotta hand it to Rush — he knows his audience.

      • Oh, brilliant, thanks ever so much for that share! I love it. That phrase will live forever, it's the latest meme.

        Negropolis is totally righteous, in my book. Other than that, he is the righteousest of Left. I think that all adds up to "Yeah, totes."

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      Just wait until Rush finds out the newest member of Batman's rogue gallery is named Oxie Cotton who shoves pills down the throats of their victim. Rush will think it's a personal attack on him written by Obama using a pseudonym.

      • You *accepted* the gig writing for them?

        • Butch_Wagstaff

          Shh! No, I didn't! I was just throwing out an idea *wink*. I was just using some words that were there to be used.

          • Retroactively writing your Great American Novel, I get it.

    • has there been a batman / avengers / dr who / spiderman / jules verne / disney (i'm looking at you 'lady and the tramp') movie that HASN'T gotten their XXLL panty's in a wad?

      i mean really. the only thing they like is that execrable ayn rand thingee.

      • bobbert

        And stuff with war hero* John Wayne.

        * Not an actual veteran, much less hero

        • None of their "war heroes" are actual heroes. Their "war heroes" are usually referred to as *war criminals* by everyone else. Chickenhawks who never served. Because people who have seen war firsthand know that it is not something to desire or support.

      • True. They're not even anime fans, by and large.

  • Sununu felt totally free to call President Obama a foreign pot-smoking socialist

    If he was a true patriot, the President would have smoked good old American grown pot when he was in high school.

    • Beowoof

      Hey he is from Hawaii, so maybe there was some Maui Wowee smoked back in college. You know just trying to be a localvore.

      • That Maui Wowie is some outrageous shit, dude. I have fond memories.

        • Beowoof

          Oh yeah, it was awesome, although I had to give up weed, I find that I don't need to do something that makes me both paranoid and hungry.

          • That was in the old days. These days, they grow it as a medicine and it is just bloody amazing shit. It's also way stronger than anything we ever smoked in the old days, and has to be used *very* sparingly.

          • va_real

            Incidentally, there is an interesting book by Michael Pollan called 'The Botany of Desire' & he examines 4 different plants- potatoes, tulips, marijuana & apples- and their relationships with people. If you haven't read it, you might enjoy it.

          • anniegetyerfun

            God, that book. I swear it was just food porn erotica.

          • va_real

            He did a good job of stripping away the whitewashing of Johnny Appleseed- perhaps soon he can do something about the Tea Baggers' whitewashing of our Founding Fathers?

          • Loved that book. And, yeah, what you said about Johnny Appleseed -that was definitely the most memorable part.

          • Thank you for the recommendation, my friend.

          • "Paranoid and hungry…"

            We may have stumbled upon the origins of the Tea Party!

      • BerkeleyBear

        Well, I'm sure the choom gang at Ponahu wasn't buying imported TJ ditch weed. Although when he was still smoking in college (at Occidental) it might have been, if he wasn't hooked up with some of Humboldt's finest.

    • Oh, see, now, I never even thought of that. There's some fine Achinese bud in Sumatra. Red.

    • Maui Wowee, Kona Gold, Pakololo, the Hawaiian islands are a vertitable Garden of Eden for potheads. The strongest stuff I ever, ever smoked was something we called cano weed, with a long a, (short for volcano), there's something about the soil around volcanoes (the north coast of the big island is the Humboldt County of the Pacific) that makes that stuff explosively potent.

  • ttommyunger

    I regret his daddy not using a rubber. The rubbers were there, he should have used one, or two, just to be safe.

  • kittensdontlie

    Why he was just using the words that were there, written all over his face, so what can you say…

  • BarackMyWorld

    Sununu…wished “this president would learn how to be an American.”

    And John Sununu needs to learn how to be a human.

    • Too late. Can't teach an old fat asshole new tricks.

    • Barrelhse

      Well, he sure LOOKS like a pig…

  • emmelemm

    He could have avoided those words that were there by keeping his mouth shut. Sometimes words appear in our heads, and we keep them there.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      You mean I don't have to blurt out everything that enters my brain? Hmmmmmm …

      • emmelemm

        This changes everything!

    • Yaknow — that is just perfect. You're right. We all think horrible thoughts from time to time. Civilized people keep such thoughts to themselves.

      • bobbert

        Or, occasionally, post them on teh wonket. (BUT NOT ANY MORE)

        • Oh, we're just required to work a little harder at posting the same vile things in creative, clever ways.

  • alzronnie

    They should do a makeover of Mount Rushmore with the mugs of Sununu, Rush, and Christie–if there is room enough.

    • Would need a bigger mountain.

      • emmelemm

        Better start searching for a bigger planet.

        • You know, it was a "Christie-sized" rock that killed off the dinosaurs. Paleontologists call the sedimentary rock layer that is essentially a 65-million year-old tombstone, the "Fat Of The Land", due to it's illogically-high lipid content.

          • I did not know that.

          • Yeeee-ep.

          • bobbert

            Very nice.

          • So you're a paleontologist, when you're not designing and ranting. (tips hat)

          • No, I just stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night. And I've literally watched this documentary 500 times (granted about 450 of those times were just hitting "play" on the DVR as I drift off to sleep).

          • Thank you.

          • flamingpdog

            I still think it was Limbaugh-like volcanic ashhole eruptions that blotted out the sun.

          • Vecchiojohn

            A Christie might make a useful unit of measure. For example: "When Galileo discovered the four largest moons of Jupiter, he estimated their combined weight at over 500 Christies."

      • OneDollarJuana

        Ironically, the biggest mountain in the world is in Hawaii. Mauna Kea stands 33,500 ft above its base, and is more than 4,000 ft higher than Mt. Everest. So Obama's is waaaay bigger than Sununu's, no matter what you're measuring.

    • That would just be begging for all kinds of people to come desecrate it.

      But, on the PLUS side, TOURIST DOLLARS! Yay!

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        Think of the graffiti, too! I know some folks who would be all too willing to improve these guys' facial features with a spray can or two.

        • (Hides spray paint cans)

          Really? Wow, amazing.

    • comptoneffect

      You'd need a second mountain for the double (treble?) chins in triplicate.

      • Be real. Christie's got more chins than the Hongkong phone book. We'd need fucking *dunes.* On another *planet.*

    • …ain't no mountain hiiiigh enough….

  • Sununu SnuSnued himself.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Good news everyone!

    • HistoriCat

      But was he sentenced to death (eek!) – by snusnu (yay?)?

  • rickmaci

    Breaking story…Romoney surrogate describes Romoney tax return policy as "Don't pay, don't tell."

    Film at 11.

    • bobbert

      This must be more widely distributed. Needz Wonkers with many Twitter followers.


    • Extemporanus

      He was just hedging his $10,000 bets on the repeal of "Don't Tax, Don't Tell".

  • mavenmaven

    Those guys from Rutland Vermont sounded so much more sincere.

    • You mean when they said the Republican equivalent of "Go fuck yourselves, you whining pussy libtards"?

  • stopthemovie

    Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life Son. Well at least not fat and stupid.

    • rickmaci

      I claim rights to fat and drunk.

    • Negropolis

      Well, fat and stupid isn't a crime unless you round it off with being mean or proud of being fat and ignorant. That's what changes the equation.

  • DrunkIrishman

    I bet his mom regrets not going through with that abortion.

  • chascates

    "And when I said 'what a bastard' I of course meant 'what a bastardization of the American language he uses!"

  • Maybe the Republicans should declare Hawaii no longer a state (retroactively). Although Obama would still be a US citizen through his mother. UNLESS…. Maybe they should take away her citizenship retroactively to before she gave birth. That would do it. Or they should just deny Barack Obama Sr a student-visa retroactively. That's it. Problem solved.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      If they retroactively re-outlaw miscegenation, then she wasn't legally married — would that help? Because you know they want to do it.

  • From wiki:

    Sununu was born in Havana, Cuba, the son of Victoria (née Dada) and John Saleh Sununu, an international film distributor. He is of Palestinian Christian and Greek descent. His father grew up in Jerusalem and his mother was born in San Salvador, El Salvador. He is a Maronite Catholic.

    We're gonna need to see your long-form birther certificate, John.

    • Pretty damn cheeky, huh?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Send him back to Gitmo.

    • rickmaci

      Think he is just a wee bit jelly 'cause he can never be the POTUS of VPOTUS. Still, maybe he is good for First Lady.

      • He's *never* gonna get Obama to *marry* him, dood.

        Seems to be that's all these Repuglytrads want.

    • flamingpdog

      Waitaminute, nee Dada? Sununu is Idi Amin's nephew? That would 'splain a few thingies.

  • the_giggleloop

    He does know that Hawaii is an American state, right?

    • How would HE know? He's a Palestinian born and raised in Cuba!

    • OneYieldRegular

      Way to go for the Hawai'ian vote, Romney campaign.

    • You are WRONG! Because there is fringe on the flag and we have a national income tax, Hawaii is a Communist Dictatorship! Cuba, however, is our 50th state. Now you know.

      • flamingpdog

        Cuba coulda been our 45th or so state, but, too many blahs. True fax.

    • Negropolis

      But, it ain't Real America. Hell, if you can't drive to it, it doesn't even exist. Hawaii is like Shambhala, or Valhalla, or Brownsville, Texas.

    • not that Dewey

      Try telling that to Cokie Roberts.

      • horsedreamer_1

        I hope she never lives that down, then has it lead her obituary.

  • You mean he's not dead yet?

    Oops! (Did I say that out loud?)

    • DrunkIrishman

      Not yet…

      *shifty eyes*

    • It's not your fault. The words were right there.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    This is all Barry's fault. If he wasn't president, people wouldn't have to keep making these racist jokes to apologize for. Problem solved!

    • emmelemm

      That really, really is the way they think. It's quite extraordinary.

    • Besides, he was right there. Formerly he had only been near.

      • flamingpdog

        I see what you did there.

  • there's been no experience in his life where he earned a private sector paycheck that meant anything

    hahhahahahahahaha john sununu how do you explain:

    1. scott walker
    2. joe walsh
    3. shrub
    4. most of the middle class

  • sati_demise

    oh no!, he has the Snowbilly Grifter virus. !

    All downhill from here on for 'nunu

  • BlueStateLibel

    Slightly OT: This Bloomberg Business writer speculates that Mitt Rmoney won't release his tax returns because, get ready – he may not have not paid any taxes in 2009.

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      Oooh, that makes an awful lot of sense. Perfectly legal, of course, but that would not play well. The multi-multi-millionaire paying no taxes as the economy goes into the shitter.

      • Oh, also, as the DailyKos post details, Mitt invested in Iranian oil production, and got rid of the evidence before the 2010 tax year just to play it safe.

        • flamingpdog

          SB, I hope you won't mind me posting a reply to BlueStateLibel here because IntenseDebate won't let me respond directly to him/her/both, but I still have a hard time believing that McCain passed on Mittens because of Palin's puppies. I mean, someone even pointed out here yesterday that Mitty has himself some moobs.

    • I guess that might be a shade worse than the $77,000 tax deduction for dressage horse expenses:

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Horses are corporations too, my friend.

        Seriously, how the fuck do you deduct the cost of feeding a goddam dancing horse?

        • Vecchiojohn

          Probably not that hard. I used to work for a law firm where the associates were put to work on things like justifying expenditures for fat cats' hobby farms as deductible business expenses.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      If that is the case, and it sounds plausible, then we should feel sorry for the poor little rich man who lost maybe 25% of his multi-million dollar stash and approached the mean old IRS (Maine's governor just called them "The Gestapo") with his pockets hanging out, just like the character on the Monopoly card for the "Poor Tax." Except Romney paid no tax. The poor, poor bastard. I'll set up a can to collect spare change at my local 7-11. Fuck him.

      • BlueStateLibel

        Well, it's possible that Daddy Warbucks with his offshore accounts not only didn't pay taxes in 2009 because of investment losses, but actually got a tax refund. Imagine how well that would go down if it came out.

  • (Hides vape)

    Yeah, I heard that too! I'm sure Sununu's family were among the gusanos who fled because they had thrown in their lot with the corrupt swine who were ousted by the people.

    • rickmaci

      We'd be glad to oblige him with another quick exit.

      • I'll grab his right side, you grab his left. We'll give him the old heave-ho into the ocean and clock his swim time back to Cuba.

        • rickmaci

          I promise not to interfere with the circling Great Whites.

          • Thank you. It would be *cruel* to deprive them of a well-earned dinner.

  • "The conference call came on the heals of the Obama campaign's continued attacks on presumptive GOP nominee Mitt Romney's business record and reluctance to release more tax returns."

    Can CNN get a fucking spell checker????

    • Yeah, but they got their story out FIRTS! FIRSTIES!!!!!!! Just like the Obamacare SCOOTUS desizun, BITCHEZ

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "Heals" is a perfectly good word, and it's spelt rite.

  • So, yeah, remember when the Romney campaign attacked the incipient "Mitt Romney is weird" thing as some sort of stealth anti-Mormonism? And now they're out-and-out calling Obama a foreigner.

    The ironic thing is, Obama is, frankly, authentically American in a way that Romney will never be. You can see it in the different ways they talk about their backgrounds: both of them are well traveled, and have relocated numerous times, but of the two of them, only Obama seems to have genuinely bonded with some of the the locales of his upbringing.

    When Romney talks about Michigan, he talks about how the trees are the right height, and how there's all these lakes, and how many cars he owns. He grasps at something to connect with his impression of what Michiganders like.

    For Obama, the fact that he's especially connected to, say, Kansas, and Chicago, and Hawaii, come through in other ways. In the fact that he likes Superman. In the fact virtually every vacation he takes is "home" to Hawaii. The fact that he talks trash to Bostonians about the latest baseball trades. He doesn't need to prove it, he lives it, and in a way that's far more authentic and genuine of someone who's lived in multiple places -and loved some of them- than anything Romney's displayed about anywhere, ever.

    • rickmaci

      Interesting observation. BHO reminds me of the military kids I've known, the way they seem to have a knack for digging in to a new place and trying to become a part of that place.

      • Not to say that he's fallen in love with every place he's lived, though- he talks about New York fondly/diplomatically enough, but you can tell it really didn't steal his heart the way Chicago did. Which is fine, really- there's no accounting for taste.

    • You don't often make such lengthy comments, but when you do, they're well worth reading. Very nicely done.

    • But Mitt Romney has friends who own a number of different cities, states and countries.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        And baseball teams, too. Mitt relates to baseball.

        • Vecchiojohn

          I'd like to have a beer with Mitt.

          What? Oh.

    • Negropolis

      It was so weird to see Romney talk about Michigan during the primary, because he talked about the place as if he'd never lived here. His daddy was the fuckin' governor of Michigan, and he talked about the state like a three-year-old would. He's not even comparable to the rich folks that make up the county in which he grew up in in suburban Detroit.

    • BerkeleyBear

      It is an interesting contrast. Both had reasons to feel isolated and different (father issues and mixed racial heritage for BO, Mormonism and just plain awkwardness for Mittens), yet their divergent paths are telling. Obama seems to have tried to swim with the flow of his changing environment, demonstrating an openness and genuineness that helped him in organizing, law school and building political alliances, yet also engaging in significant introspection about his place in the world. Romney seems to have been sheltered almost his whole life (even in France he was living with the Mormons, not the common people) and always sought to fit in with the popular crowd without ever examining why.

    • Extemporanus

      Wonderfully said, Miner Joe.

  • Come here a minute

    …frankly, I made a mistake.

    But seriously, where's the BERF CERTIFICUT????!?!?/1/?!/1/1/1?????!?!?

    • bobbert

      In Sununununu's case, a blurt certificate.

  • The words that were there? Like floating in mid-air? Maybe projected on a transparent screen?

    Ya know, it was fun for a while there changing a sig-line everytime one of these wankers said something stupid. Just can't keep up since about the Puke Primary times.

  • DCNole

    Uhhh Sununu was Gov. of New Hampshire. Southerner?

    • bobbert

      Born in Cuba. Close enuff.

    • anniegetyerfun

      You had to be there. And by "there", I mean Wonket's earlier post about Snusnu.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Romney should seriously consider cuddling up to his Swiss bank accounts and spending his summers in the Cayman Islands. Then he can call people foreigners all he wants to.

  • AddHomonym

    I am pioneering the pre-apology:

    "I prospectively apologize for any hurtful or offensive words that may or may not be used by me at some future time. Please retain this statement for your records."


    • bobbert

      Needs more EULA verbiage. "By reading these words that are out here, you acknowledge that you will not hold me responsible for any future words I may emit>"

    • anniegetyerfun

      Too soon!

  • Guppy

    Those words should have held aspirins between their knees.

  • Negropolis

    You know, someone has yet to convince me that a "Sununu" is not an antagonist in a Dr. Seuss book and/or the most devious sex act known to humanity.

    • Thought it was something the National Weather Service sent a warning about.

      • Negropolis

        A Sununu is a Nor'easter with racism coming in a high-pressure system from the South.

    • not that Dewey

      I don't know about that, but I think "Sununu backpedals" was a line from It's a Wonderful Life

    • It makes me think of "Naughty Nunu," the out of control vacuum cleaner from the Teletubbies, who snarfed up their balloon with his "trunk" (hose) and they chased him round and round the circular corridor of their little dome home, which probably made the writers of Dr. Who sick with whydidn'twethinkofthatitis, shouting "naughty nunu, naughty nunu" and giggling like Florida Lieutenant Governors.

  • BoroPrimorac

    This makes Romney look like an even bigger pussy.

    • People should me-ow when they see him.

      • flamingpdog

        Or cough up a hairball.

    • not that Dewey

      How is that even possible?

    • Negropolis

      Pussy libel!

  • Negropolis

    Me haz confused. New Hampshire isn't in the South. What just went over my head.

    • bobbert

      Born in Havana, maybe?

    • flamingpdog

      I think you have to read this to get the reference.

      I know, that's what I hate about the new regime's 15 blog posts a day – it used to be so much easier to keep up with the memes and the sly references to earlier posts, when you actually could read all of 'em.

      • Negropolis

        Thanks for that.

        Though, to pick at another point about Rush, while Missouri may be culturally Southern in some regards, it's not technically, geographically Southern.

        • flamingpdog

          Honestly, I think "Southern" is just the gentile way of saying "historically one of the traitorous, secessionist, dumbfuck Scots-Irish 'state's (=whites only) rights' states". Maryland is culturally a southern state, but because arms were twisted to keep it in the Union so Warshington D. C. wouldn't have to be evacuated, most people don't think of it that way.

          • BerkeleyBear

            See Indiana, Illinois (other than Chicago, maybe), Kentucky, Ohio (at least south of Columbus), West Virginia, Missouri, Nebraska, etc. ad nauseum. Hell, the people who actually wanted full rights for the dusky people were a minority of Northerners, and that pretty much carried over to the present or at most the recent past.

          • Negropolis

            Kansas-Nebraska Act libel, yo!

          • BerkeleyBear

            Not allowing slaves and letting darker folks be full citizens was, sadly, two very different discussions.

          • Negropolis

            Most civil rights issues happen in increments; I'm not bitter, so long as the movement is forward and relentless. It took women many decades later just to get the franchise.

  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    Yeech, New Hampshire. What happened?

    • Negropolis

      Sununu is straight out of the past. It's not what just happened; I think the question is why was he resurrected, at all?

      • flamingpdog

        The next time you see him, check for holes in his wrists.

  • Seriously, Schmoyoho should sample Sununu sometime

  • RadioSlut

    Dredging up this fossil certainly is scandalous. And wherever this Surro place is it must be worse than Water or Whitewater.

  • Isyaignert

    Muthafukka, moi?

  • Callyson

    “I’m apologizing for using those words,” said Sununu. “I did say those words that were there and, frankly, I made a mistake.”

    That's an apology? Not "I'm sorry I implied that President Obama does not know how to be an American," but "I'm apologizing for using those words"? As in, some other word choice would somehow have improved the substance–not just the phrasing–of what this asshole said?

    Though, if this is how Republicans apologize, I guess I can see why Mittens is so shocked that Obama won't apologize to him. "Honestly, all Barack has to do is say that he is sorry if anyone was offended by my aide's choice of words…WTH is the problem with that?" Poor Mittens haz a confused…

    • bobbert

      It's the same thing Rushbo did about Sandra Fluke. "Sorry that those words offended you, you oversensitive commie".

  • anniegetyerfun

    Well, despite having access to all of my browsing data (mostly Wonkette and tranny porn, if you must know), Facebook has decided to start showing me "Stand with Mitt" ads. I don't understand why Facebook hates me so much.

    • bobbert

      Mitt probably just wants to propose a Mutually Mormonly Beneficial Arrangement.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Stand with him where? On the deck of his boat? The front porch of his home in NH/MA/CA? The lobby of the Post Office in the Cayman Islands?

  • Negropolis

    The Republican Party is finished. Not finished in the sense that they can't and won't keep winning elections, but through in the sense that they have nothing left of any value to offer America as a whole. It's not even a real party, anymore. It's a narrow, joyless, depraved, hateful, careless, nihilistic cult. It's a party that has steadily gone from "I got mine, now go get your own" to the economic realization even among the rubes of "If I can't get mine, no one will get any." Now, they've resulted to openly rigging the game. It's not reven a conservative party, anymore; it's an authoritarian, right-wing organization.

    They are the honey bagers of American politics; they don't give a shit, and that's the scariest thing of all. It's funny because I never considered myself very partisan, but I can not find anything of any redeeming value in the national GOP.

    Sorry, I'm all out of snark for the moment.

    • C_R_Eature


      I can't wait for the time when the current Republican party become the New Whigs and a saner, more responsible opposition comes up to actually help us run our civilization.

      • Negropolis

        It's sad, because it's not like we can't have responsible conservative parties. In Europe, there are quite a few free market parties that are also culturally/socially liberal, and who recognize the welfare state as necessary, if even something they want to keep in check. The GOP, on the other hand, is the worst of all worlds. It's kind of the mirror image of the old-time, inflexible communist parties that eventually ran their nations into the ground.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I remember a time when there were GOPers that had at least half a brain and could actually articulate fairly decent policy positions. Can't think of any now that can hold a candle to any of those, though.

  • Welcome to Fox. The mic is live so let the stupid flow.

    • Derrick! I've been wondering where you were hiding. Any new birdie pix?

  • va_real

    OT: Auggghhh! Ralph Nader strikes again! We had a special election today with 1 Repug, 1 Dem & 1 Green. Greenie got just over 50 votes & so Repug may have won by 14 votes, but there will be an automatic recount & I'm not sure I trust our elections board not to pull a good many more R votes outta their asses. This is just to fill a state senate seat until Nov election but still…

    ETA: Post #1000, FSM help me…

    • bobbert

      On the one hand, municipal and state offices are the right places for third parties to try to establish themselves. On the other hand, I do wish the leftie third-partiers (e.g., Greens) would at least consider passing up tight races where they know they're only gonna get a few per cent.

      There is some merit to the argument that many of their votes may come from folks who would not otherwise vote for either the D or the R. But some of their votes would otherwise have gone to a major party candidate, and it is extremely likely that the loss from the D side is greater than the loss from the R.

      I'm always a bit amazed at how many third party voters insist that there is no difference between the major parties. It's almost like they have to believe that in order to justify their third-party affiliation.

      Congrats on your first kilocomment.

      • Negropolis

        I'm in agreement. I think really think third parties are absolutely appropriate at the local and state levels, and maybe even a few congressional districts. What I really want to see is more coordination, like you say, where either third parties or the major parties agree to not run in tight districts. I also have this idea of where a major party's brand name is shot, that the major party should bow out fielding a candidate and let the third party candidate take their place. I'd like to see the Green's get a few seats in Congress and caucus with the Dems, of course. Same with the libertarians on the right.

        • Their spoiler crap is idiotic. Why don't they just stay tightly organized, but as a bloc with an agenda within the Democratic Party? Everybody on the left thinks a parliamentary system is so superior — that is the only way to get anywhere near that in our system.

          • Vecchiojohn

            We could start acting that rationally, but you'd miss the circular firing squad when it was gone.

          • va_real

            I agree. I'm not sure that the Parliamentary system* is oh-so-fine, but those who say they like it should learn how it's supposed to work.

            *except where George Clinton is involved

          • Negropolis

            Like I said, I don't at all think that a third party must formally stay within the legal boundaries of the two major parties. So long as each election the parties sit down and hammer out a mutually beneficial agreement, I'm okay with third parties.

            What people don't realize is that we already have a parliamentary system, of sorts. We have independent senators who choose who they caucus with. These senators don't need to be Democrats, they just need to caucus with them.

        • va_real

          Yes, if you want to be a viable 3rd party, you need to learn how to coordinate with the other parties in order to achieve some sort of coalition. Otherwise, someone like me- who is naturally sympathetic to Green politics- ends up pissed off at their handing elections to the R's.

          We certainly have plenty of races in SC where the R's are uncontested- I don't know why the Greens can't put up candidates for those races & leave the close elections alone.

      • va_real

        "Congrats on your first kilocomment."


        As for the election, the automatic recount shouldn't take long since we have no paper trail to slow things down- the election should be certified on Friday with the 22 challenge ballots possibly changing the outcome of a 14-vote "win".

        The interesting wrinkle here is that this seat will be contested again in Nov, but with a different Repug on the ballot… Strom's son, Paul Thurmond. The same Dem will be on the ballot, and presumably the same Green?

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    He used the words that were there in his head — and he's oblivious to the problem presented by the fact that they were there at all.

  • Extemporanus

    "Regrets? I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do, and saw it through without exemption. For what is a man? What has he got? If not himself, then he has naught. To say the things he truly feels–and not the words of one who kneals–the record shows, I took the blows, and said it my way."

    – John Sununu, in a Frank exchange with CNN's Wolf Blitzer

  • Dildeaux

    "The words that were there." Hmmm…

    Dild thinks Sunununununu is telling us something we arent supposed to know. Like he was given a script to repeat on national television, which he did verbatim.

    Now Sununununu is pissed because he is forced to apologize for doing what he was told to do.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    "I would not have used the words that were there."

    –MItt Romney

  • Estproph

    20 YEARS AGO he was on the national scene, and now he's back OVER THIS?!?

    • el_donaldo

      Left in disgrace 20 years ago after racking up considerable perks on the public dime, and now he's back over this.

  • SBarry

    Sununu was born in Havana, Cuba. He is Palestinian and Greek. He shouldn't be lecturing anyone about how to be an American. What a pompous aXX

  • not that Dewey

    This guy is almost as irritating as that other John Sununu.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Okay, wake up lil Wonkette. It's time to get ready for school.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      We're tired of this grifter. We need fresh new grifters to belittle.

  • Billmatic

    Favorite nonpology of all time was Phil Jackson, after making a pretty solid joke about Brokeback Mountain relating to the game they just played ("A lot of penetration and kickout") apologized to any "Homosexuals, Texans, or horses that I may have offended."

  • PubOption

    Wasn't Sununu the vacuum cleaner in 'Teletubbies'?

  • frequency_one

    To quote a for realz attack ad that ran here in NH several years ago:

    Who knew? Sununu.

  • Nostrildamus

    I just Googled "Kenyan president" and got a whole different guy and OMG he's black too!!! This conspiracy runs deep.

  • Fluffy_Kitties

    This year's summer blockbuster: Barackman vs. Bain. If these guys were truly patriotic, popcorn would be tax deductable.

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