WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE  1:12 pm July 17, 2012

John McCain Rides To Romney’s Rescue: Sarah Palin Was ‘Better Candidate’

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Hey Walnuts, would you perhaps like to ride to the rescue of your party’s current standardbearer, who is at the moment in a spot of bother, by explaining that it was not his unseemly wealth or that he perhaps did not even pay any taxes sometimes (who can ever know? It would be irresponsible not to speculate!) that kept you from choosing His Lord High Hairgel Mittens Romney to be your running mate in your 2008 presidential bid? That instead, it was just because he sucked? You would? Swell! Let us get to it!

Asked why he chose not to go with Romney, McCain said: “Oh come on, because we thought that Sarah Palin was the better candidate. Why did we not take [Tim] Pawlenty, why did we not take any of the other 10 other people. Why didn’t I? Because we had a better candidate, the same way with all the others. … Come on, why? That’s a stupid question.”

Why? We are going to go with “starbursts,” by which we mean “John McCain wanted to pork Sarah Palin and also had lost any sense of integrity or responsibility for the well-being of the nation he professes to love and for which he suffered so faithfully for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN.”

Also: John McCain, Underminer. [Politico]

 

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{ 262 comments }

Barb July 17, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I do believe it is time for Arizona to take away McCain's driver's license.

JustPixelz July 17, 2012 at 1:17 pm

And his voter ID.

Maman July 17, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Aren't they the same?

KeepFnThatChicken July 17, 2012 at 1:36 pm

He's not a brown, so he passes muster.

James Michael Curley July 17, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Gulden's or French's?

starfanglednut July 17, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Great joke!

I'll try to ketchup.

Frisbeedawg July 17, 2012 at 3:01 pm

I read that with great relish.

rickmaci July 17, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Very funny. A Dijon McCain joke. ROFL.

Negropolis July 18, 2012 at 2:29 am

He was born in Panama, so I think we can make an exception.

Terry July 17, 2012 at 1:41 pm

What if he's speaking the truth?

For whatever reason, once you read Romney's complete background including business records and taxes, you are forced to admit that the Snowbilly is a better candidate.

What about Romney could make him a worse choice that a no-nothing, mean-as-cat-shit, inexperienced halfwit governor of a state with fewer people than most counties?

sullivanst July 17, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Maybe it wasn't Glenn Beck that murdered that murdered that young girl back in '90. Mitt never denied it either.

AbandonHope July 17, 2012 at 2:36 pm

There is nothing saying they couldn't have worked together. Hypothetically.

valgal2342 July 17, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Lack of tits and ass.

Terry July 17, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Have you seen a photo of Mitt in a bathing suit? He's got a man-rack starting.

rickmaci July 17, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Just so he doesn't buy a manssiere made in China.

Chet Kincaid July 17, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Hot gams and winks.

rickmaci July 17, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Vice TnAsident.

actor212 July 17, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Yea, but you speak the truth AFTER the guy's lost the biggest election of his life. You don't set out to undermine him before he's even formally the party choice. Even McCain can't be that stupid.

Can he?

EDIT: Great.

I had this thought that McCain, as the last nominee the party put forth, really needs to be ultra-supportive of Mitt now that's he's all but crowned, but then this image of Bert Parks singing "There He Is, Your New Candidate" started forming and it was too late to down a bottle of Jack before images of McCain lifting a tiara off his head and placing it on Mitt, wearing a stunning evening gown with opera length gloves, formed.

Veritas78 July 17, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Not until the left blinker bulb is burnt out!

It is? Okay, then.

sudsmckenzie July 17, 2012 at 1:15 pm

"Ride to the rescue" of course means " Crash into the bow".

UnholyMoses July 17, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Well, Johnny does know a thing or two 'bout crashing …

actor212 July 17, 2012 at 1:58 pm

And burning boats

Veritas78 July 17, 2012 at 8:58 pm

…and killing his fellows-in-arms. (134 died in the Forrestal disaster.)

Joey_Blau July 17, 2012 at 3:25 pm

must lick you.

Comrade Wingtardd July 17, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Finsh the dang campaign!

Goonemeritus July 17, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Palin is certainly more human.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 17, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Prove it.

Goonemeritus July 17, 2012 at 1:26 pm

If you prick her does she not bleed? If you tickle her does she not laugh? And if you wrong her shall she not revenge?

memzilla July 17, 2012 at 1:29 pm

If you televise her, does she not grift?

Fare la Volpe July 17, 2012 at 1:39 pm

You could say the same of screeching wombats.

jqheywood July 17, 2012 at 2:28 pm

I think he did.

Chet Kincaid July 17, 2012 at 1:59 pm

"If you make a pass, does she not stuff the ball?" –Glen Rice

Fare la Volpe July 17, 2012 at 1:39 pm

At the very least mammalian.

sullivanst July 17, 2012 at 1:44 pm

♪♫Let me get my hands
On your mammary glands♪♫

Noone'd ever accuse Walnuts of being a Handsome Devil.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 17, 2012 at 1:44 pm

No way, that thing lays eggs. I will give you phylum Chordata but that is as close as we are related.

LesBontemps July 17, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Chordata? Doesn't that actually require a spine?

flamingpdog July 17, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Rules out a lot of Dems.

Terry July 17, 2012 at 1:42 pm

She's honest about being hateful and mean. Romney hides his meanness in the actions of his Bain subordinates.

bobbert July 17, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Sorry, but "she's honest" strikes me as a category error.

IncenseDebate July 17, 2012 at 1:16 pm

It was that swirly thing she did with her tongue!

Trinket July 17, 2012 at 3:14 pm

OH, GROSS!!!

Infrogmation July 17, 2012 at 4:06 pm

You mean, trying to talk in coherent sentences?

FNMA July 17, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Alzheimer's makes me sad.

rickmaci July 17, 2012 at 3:06 pm

With McCain it's really a case of Oldtimers.

Hera Sent Me July 17, 2012 at 1:17 pm

"There were plenty of reasons besides his tax returns to reject Romney as a running mate" should be put in the dictionary alongside the definition of "damning with faint praise".

IncenseDebate July 17, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Just damning.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 17, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Those damn removal engineers working on the Snake and Columbia Rivers need to get themselves down to Arizona, pronto.

bobbert July 17, 2012 at 2:49 pm

"damning with faint damning"

Generation[redacted] July 17, 2012 at 2:55 pm

It's not very faint, really. More, "damning with loud, repeated damning."

NYNYNYjr July 17, 2012 at 7:10 pm

We didn't even really review his taxes, once we saw his birth certificate, we crossed him off the list.

chicken_thief July 17, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Wow. And he even threw in a TPaw reference without falling aslee.. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ManchuCandidate July 17, 2012 at 1:17 pm

With frenemies like these, who needs Demoncraps?

Generation[redacted] July 17, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Please, it's not Demoncrap, it's Demoncrapic!

sbj1964 July 17, 2012 at 1:17 pm

I think Mittens should tap Rubio for VP.We can call the team Chico & the Man.

chicken_thief July 17, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Rick Perry has been trying to tap Rubio for months now.

BerkeleyBear July 17, 2012 at 1:36 pm

And Marcus has been trying to get either of them to tap him.

Comrade Wingtardd July 17, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Mittens / Christie – The Fat Guy / Other One 2012

An_Outhouse July 17, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Comrade Wingtardd July 18, 2012 at 1:10 am

KEEP WALKIN ASSHOLE. KEEP WALKIN

actor212 July 17, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Great.

Who's the Man?

FlownOver July 17, 2012 at 2:19 pm

OK, "Chico and the Bot," then.

Generation[redacted] July 17, 2012 at 2:58 pm
Goonemeritus July 17, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Sure Mitt doesn’t have Sarah’s gift of quitting half way through a term but you have to give props to Mitt for going back in time and quitting.

Self-Uploader July 17, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Romoney 2012 — Back to the Future!

HateMachine July 17, 2012 at 1:48 pm

"Mr. Romney, you've been saying out on every possible campaign trail that you've been involved in no decision-making around this corporation for years. Why should we pay you if you do nothing?"

"You can't fire me, I quit three years ago as of right this second."

Biel_ze_Bubba July 17, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Time travel, as always, presents a paradox: the money is still in his bank account.

Chet Kincaid July 17, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Mitt Romney is "The Man Who Folded Himself." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_Who_Folded_H

GunToting[Redacted] July 17, 2012 at 1:18 pm

"No, we didn't have concerns over Mitt's tax returns, we just really thought that a half-term governor of a state with fewer people than Springfield, MA was a superior candidate compared to Mitt."

Look for an announcement of Mitt's suicide on the evening news.

Terry July 17, 2012 at 1:44 pm

No, McCain will pass away seemingly gently in his sleep after an afternoon visit by some well groomed young men wearing suits and riding bicycles.

RedneckMuslin July 17, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Not crying and screaming like his passengers.

Veritas78 July 17, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Or the sailors on the Forrestal.

bobbert July 17, 2012 at 2:50 pm

White shirts and ties. No jackets, usually.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 17, 2012 at 3:38 pm

I'm guessing the nametags will be missing, for once.

FlownOver July 17, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Can a droid dismantle itself?

(It's getting kinda Philip K. Dick around here, innit?)

Boojum July 17, 2012 at 2:24 pm

It's been Feel Up, K, Dick? around here for a while.

Generation[redacted] July 17, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Does Romney dream of electronic money transfers?

Yes. Yes he does.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 17, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Look for an announcement of Mitt's suicide on the evening news.

How sad. All those dollars will be lost. Like tears in the rain.

Pragmatist2 July 17, 2012 at 1:19 pm

It's all relative. The Republicans selected Romney tis time because he was "less crazy."

JustPixelz July 17, 2012 at 1:19 pm

That's impossible. Sarah Palin never ran a business until she quit gummint and became Sarah Palin™. So how could she be better at anything than the Rombot.?

Terry July 17, 2012 at 1:45 pm

She did, however, have an affair with her husband's snowmobile business partner which certainly counts as being a mover and a shaker in the Wasilla business community.

RedneckMuslin July 17, 2012 at 1:50 pm

One word. Tits.

HogeyeGrex July 17, 2012 at 1:19 pm

That's like saying you picked Hervé Villechaize because he's the better basketball player.

sudsmckenzie July 17, 2012 at 1:25 pm

The Bain, … the Bain!

Geminisunmars July 17, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Winner!1

sullivanst July 17, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Well, once he'd mowed down the opposing team with his bowler hat, his side usually dominated…

KeepFnThatChicken July 17, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Seriously, that's a crass thing to say. People far too often reference a person's inability to accomplish things in polite society, and that shit has gone far enough.

It is NOT Sarah's fault Hervé is dead.

Boojum July 17, 2012 at 1:20 pm

This is pretty much the same way that John McCain flew airplanes.

Off we go, into the wild blue yonder
Flying high, into the sun.
Down we come, spouting out flames from under,
CRASH!

ProgressiveInga July 17, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Asked why he chose not to go with Romney, McCain said….
"Sideboob!"

UnholyMoses July 17, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Better candidate = "We were so fucking stupid and clueless that we thought adding a woman to the ticket would magically get all the angry Clinton female voters on board. Also, too: Fappable. For the dudes, ya know."

SorosBot July 17, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Hey, all those are pretty much the same and interchangeable and those ladies just vote based on their vaginas, right?

MissTaken July 17, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Before I enter the voting booth I ask my vagina "who should I vote for?". Oddly enough she always responds with Barack Obama. Makes voting for local city council a little awkward.

SorosBot July 17, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Now I feel jealous of our President.

UnholyMoses July 17, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Water, meet Monitor. Monitor, Water.

jqheywood July 17, 2012 at 2:33 pm

You're not doing it right…
Scotch, meet Monitor. Monitor, Scotch.

You're welcome.

Chet Kincaid July 17, 2012 at 2:46 pm

That's funny, because when my dick hears Sarah Palin's voice, it tries to flee my body.

UnholyMoses July 17, 2012 at 1:31 pm

C'mon now, Soros. We all know that men are the ones who tend to think with their sexual organs.

Well, not sure if "think" is the correct term, but … ya know …

SorosBot July 17, 2012 at 1:49 pm

That's why I'm writing in Alison Brie for President!

sullivanst July 17, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Gillian Jacobs libel!

ASHLEIGH_Joe July 17, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Now THERE'S a third-party candidate I could get behind!

Or in front. Either way, honestly.

natoslug July 17, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I don't think with my penis, but I often debate it. Even though I've mastered my arguments, it always wins.

anniegetyerfun July 17, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Right on the motherfucking nose. "I'm just angry and calling this a stupid question because the real truth is that we pulled her out of our campaign's ass on a whim."

randcoolcatdaddy July 17, 2012 at 1:20 pm

"Sarah Palin was the better candidate"

Translation: "Sarah Palin was the candidate with the bigger boobs."

Addendum: The forgot Chris Christie.

kittensdontlie July 17, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Palin: 34C
Christie: 48DD
Which is the bigger boob? It's tossup.

memzilla July 17, 2012 at 1:20 pm

It's like Greg Marmalard talking about the electability of Doug Neidermeyer.

Hammiepants July 17, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Hahaha, Palin was "the better candidate". BURN!!!

Maman July 17, 2012 at 1:27 pm

It doesn't get any crueler than that, does it?

tiredalways July 17, 2012 at 1:20 pm

It just means that he is asking Sarah Palin be nominated at convention. If she was better than Mitt for Veep position, she is definitely better than him this go-around.

Goonemeritus July 17, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Sometimes it’s better to remember our heroes the way they were and not invade their privacy in their senior years.

Beowoof July 17, 2012 at 1:22 pm

John's wife needs to cut off beer deliveries to his house.

chascates July 17, 2012 at 1:26 pm

And make sure the Xanax and lithium keeps getting through.

FlownOver July 17, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Trollop libel!

MissTaken July 17, 2012 at 1:22 pm

I always assumed that the Bestest Candidate Spectrum was from Sarah Palin to Reagan. Thank you McCain for clearing this misunderstanding up.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 17, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Well, both are senile and dye their hair. And Reagan knocked up Nancy out of wed lock. When you think about it, Ronald Reagan = The Palin Clan. Except he read a teleprompter better.

Nostrildamus July 17, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I think, even now, RR could best Sarah in a debate.

SorosBot July 17, 2012 at 1:22 pm

So McCain hasn't denied the rumor all over the internet that he passed over Romney because of his investment in child sex rings.

Extemporanus July 17, 2012 at 1:27 pm

He decided to bypass the investor and go straight to the manufacturer.

Fare la Volpe July 17, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Why won't he go on record denying these specious allegations?

actor212 July 17, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Well, they were only rumours, but now that you've confirmed the rumours exist, he MUST speak out on them, or it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Chet Kincaid July 17, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Some people with limited knowledge of the campaign say that Steve Schmidt stumbled upon something awful occurring in the shower at one of Romney's homes — something which put McCain off Romney entirely for the VP slot. This has not been confirmed on the record, but it raises eyebrows — and questions.

Nothingisamiss July 17, 2012 at 5:59 pm

I'm so glad you brought this up. Why is our media quiet on this?!!?11!

NYNYNYjr July 17, 2012 at 7:14 pm

That was a passive investment, you liberal bastards. His involvement, aside from "owning" the child sex workers on paper, is totally deniable. His lawyers set it up that way. Why don't we move on to the real issues.

SayItWithWookies July 17, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Why did we not take [Tim] Pawlenty, why did we not take any of the other 10 other people. Why didn’t I?

Because, as I recall, none of them really wanted to be your running mate. But hey, don't mind me — keep digging.

tiredalways July 17, 2012 at 1:22 pm

That definitely is good news for McCain, I mean Sarah..

fuflans July 17, 2012 at 1:22 pm

to be fair, sarah palin probably WAS the better candidate.

Maman July 17, 2012 at 1:27 pm

That scares the shit out of me.

fuflans July 17, 2012 at 1:42 pm

i'm beginning to wonder if i am in jest?

seriously, i thought this guy had far more going for him. at this point all i can see is the republican fund-raising machine (though that is certainly not to be underestimated) and that hard to channel 'anybody but obama' energy.

romney doesn't have a message, his management skills look incredibly weak, he's a bad speaker, he's politically tone-deaf, he's unlikable, he alienates all but the whitest of blue-bloods and apparently he's got a crappy team backing him up.

at least palin was only in the VP spot. as scary as that was. (and of course, she was hot).

SayItWithWookies July 17, 2012 at 1:45 pm

The last graf, I think, is the point — Sarah was probably a better VP candidate — I'm not sure Mitt would really think he was only vice president, and John McCain doesn't strike me as having a temperament that abides a whole lot of disagreement.

sullivanst July 17, 2012 at 1:49 pm

John McCain doesn't strike me as having a temperament that abides a whole lot of disagreement.

At least he doesn't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt.

fuflans July 17, 2012 at 1:54 pm

yes of course. my real point was simply that mittbot has (to date) been a far worse presidential candidate than i expected.

(and may he keep it up.)

Chet Kincaid July 17, 2012 at 2:50 pm

You have to wonder if Obama has some kind of Opponent Derangement Field, like Steve Jobs' Reality Distortion Field. How many people have gone up against Obama and self-destructed?

Of course, you can't discount the possibility of some kind of hoodoo voodoo mojo because, you know.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 17, 2012 at 3:49 pm

There's a fair amount of self-selection going on … you need to be a bit deranged to want to take him on in the first place.

MissNancyPriss July 17, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Absolutely. I'll say it, she is SMARTER. Sarah Palin is smarter than Mitt Romney. Prove me wrong.

FlownOver July 17, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Well…

Number of institutions of higher education attended before achieving bachelor's degree? Not conclusive, but relevant.

sullivanst July 17, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Also, number of years to obtain undergraduate degree, and number of higher degrees obtained.

Prestige of institutions attended isn't a fair measure of course, when your Daddy is a sitting governor, and you've been to Cranbrook, you're going to get in anywhere regardless of intellectual capacity. But, of course, a total "boo" to affirmative action!

LetUsBray July 17, 2012 at 5:22 pm

As the blog palingates once set forth, it's by no means conclusive Grifterella even has a bachelor's degree. It's possible she just quit college and called it graduating.

Negropolis July 18, 2012 at 2:43 am

So? Dubya has a degree from an Ivy League institution.

sharethegrief July 17, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Even with Viagra, staring at Romney's breasts just wasn't the same.

Boojum July 17, 2012 at 1:22 pm

You know, McCain isn't really look at Palin's boobies, as much fun as that would have been. He is reading over her shoulder, looking at her hand, to make sure she says the words they pumped into the vacant places in her skull.

Blueb4sunrise July 17, 2012 at 1:23 pm

I heard that it was because McCain has known a lot of Mormons and hates those fuckers.

kittensdontlie July 17, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Arizona is full of those corpse baptizers, who otherwise are fine for white people.

Extemporanus July 17, 2012 at 1:23 pm

That Kiss Cam video sucks ass.

weejee July 17, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Does Jimmy Dean make a Walnutz pork sausage?

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 17, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Yes, but it is small.

Graham Cracker July 17, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Also old and dried up.

FlownOver July 17, 2012 at 2:29 pm

And, like both WALNUTS and JD, dead.

Fox n Fiends July 17, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Romney is gonna pick a total bible-belter, 100% born again white male.

chicken_thief July 17, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Mike Huckabee?!

sullivanst July 17, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Oh FSM save us!

Fox n Fiends July 17, 2012 at 1:45 pm

naw…Mike's a "loser". If Rick Perry hadn't run for prez he'd be a perfect choice. Mitt needs an evangelical poster child.

emmelemm July 17, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Can you imagine a Joe Biden / Rick Perry veep debate? CAN YOU IMAGINE?

NellCote71 July 17, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Oh, be still my heart.

GregComlish July 17, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Interesting that there's no qualifications there. Nothing like "At the time it seemed that Sarah Palin was the better candidate" or "Before she flubbed freebie questions like 'What do you read?' on a national interview forever cementing her reputation as an extraordinary ditz, she seemed like a better candidate." or "Based solely on her tits and ass and ignoring her utterly vapid, witless, rash, petty personality and matching trailer trash family, Palin was the better candidate."

If McCain still thinks Palin is a better candidate than Romney across the board then God only knows what's in Romney's tax returns.

LesBontemps July 17, 2012 at 1:41 pm

If McCain still thinks

I'd stop right there.

owhatever July 17, 2012 at 1:24 pm

To counter the "I've Got a Secret" charges, all Mitt has to do is campaign on the economic successes of our last Republican president, Dubya.

Jeri 2.0 July 17, 2012 at 1:24 pm

"Because my advisors told me that we needed a vagina to lure in all the women who had planned on voting for Clinton. Instead we got the female version of Larry the Cable Guy, but potayto, potahto, she's still better than Mitt."

sudsmckenzie July 17, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Get her dumb

anniegetyerfun July 17, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Heh.

starfanglednut July 17, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Indeed.

chascates July 17, 2012 at 1:25 pm

America had the perfect candidates: McCain and Palin. For the Party of Fail.

cheaphits July 17, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Sadly maybe she is…he should know, right?

Callyson July 17, 2012 at 1:26 pm

"Of course not," McCain told POLITICO when asked if the contents of Romney's tax returns disqualified him from the selection process. "I don’t know what depths these people won’t reach. Obviously, it’s just outrageous. That’s just outrageous. It shows the – it’s so disgraceful for them to allege something that they have absolutely no knowledge of."

Yes, how dare the Democrats point out the irony that Mittens was all too willing to share his tax returns with Walnuts, but is not willing to do the same for the American people. Outrageous!

Fare la Volpe July 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm
Mumbletypeg July 17, 2012 at 1:26 pm

SorosBot July 17, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Yes?

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 17, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Such clarity. I have never heard Sarah Palin's inner thoughts summarized so well.

Mumbletypeg July 17, 2012 at 1:37 pm

well, if intensedebate won't eat this attempt of a reply — *reminds self to copy & paste afterward just in case*

I was GONNA remind folks here to feel free to contact Ed!tr!x directly at her email if they're still having probs w/ their intensedebate-y interface. I was GONNA gloat over how my issues, experienced earlier today, had vanished as well as point out RS had replied *most expeditiously* to my email of concern.
AND THEN intensedebate ate it mid-sentence.

*In case this comment gets sucked into the black hole of ignominy, be assured I have pasted it onto my clipboard, which is my new best helpmeet

Also, rebecca@wonkette.com FYI

Blueb4sunrise July 17, 2012 at 1:48 pm

If i send RS another email, she's gonna have me arrested.

weejee July 17, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Intents Debased is often with the lovely behaviors. I wuz banhammered as a spamming ratfucker last week. I wouldn't mind being banned for too many, too lame postings ('cause hey, it's true), but being tagged as a spamster was beyond the pale.

actor212 July 17, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I was too, until I "Wienered" Editrix on teh Tweeter. Then magically, I was allowed back in the pool

weejee July 17, 2012 at 2:35 pm

'Becca did the same for me. She takes care of her peons.

James Michael Curley July 17, 2012 at 2:16 pm

A friend who was an activities counselor at a nudist camp had a horridly painful falling out with his clipboard.

Geminisunmars July 17, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Who was the winner?

jqheywood July 17, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Not his wiener, I bet…

James Michael Curley July 17, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Oh Snap! I forgot.

emmelemm July 17, 2012 at 2:52 pm

It's like an Alvin Greene Zen koan.

Groupshrug July 17, 2012 at 1:26 pm

For his VP, I think Mitt should choose one of those new mashed potato & gravy dispensing machines at 7/11
http://gizmodo.com/5926274/7+11-now-serves-mashed

BerkeleyBear July 17, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Damn, that may just be the tipping point to complete and total fattygeddon. Especially if it comes with bacon bit and nacho cheese options.

starfanglednut July 17, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Ah warsh mahself with a rag on a stick.

starfanglednut July 17, 2012 at 2:42 pm

A perfect way to get food on your family.

Dashboard Buddha July 17, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I do so love it when these fools feed on themselves.

emmelemm July 17, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Republican on Republican violence is delicious.

Dashboard Buddha July 17, 2012 at 3:52 pm

True! It's like it's made from manna, sugar, and angel's tears.

SorosBot July 17, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Mittens won't be as successful as the snowbilly until Tagg gets his own reality show on Lifetime.

sullivanst July 17, 2012 at 1:27 pm

"No no no, he's not unelectable because of his history, he's unelected because of his personality."

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 17, 2012 at 1:28 pm

If only Mitt came from a town known for its meth addicts, and had a kid that got drunk on wine coolers and knocked up, he may have stood a chance.

I guess the problem is that he actually reads (scans?) stuff. By modern Republican standards, that is a no no.

johnnymeatworth July 17, 2012 at 1:28 pm

At this point, Romney's best shot is to declare that he wants Obama to be his VP and hope for the best….

edgydrifter July 17, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Ever since they took away his pilot's license, Walnuts has been restlessly careening around the beltway, searching for something–anything–that he can turn into a fiery ball of supersonic catastrophe. Four years ago it was his own campaign. Now he's turning his stick towards Mount Mitt, afterburners on and cackling like a moth headed for a Klieg light.

EatsBabyDingos July 17, 2012 at 1:29 pm

"Well, it's like the Mutually Beneficial pop-up ads. On the on hand, Mitt could give me one of his 1967 Shelby Cobras worth a cool million each. Or I could get the Woody."

lunchbox360 July 17, 2012 at 1:43 pm

You should get the Woody. Because from what I hear Willard cant get one!

IncenseDebate July 17, 2012 at 1:30 pm

With Palin, you also got the whole telegenic family, including Todd and Bristol. Romney's lot are not as interesting to humankind.

Generation[redacted] July 17, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Yes, one must stop and consider before bragging about having more reality TV shows than the Kardashians. Then again, if you're on reality TV, "stop and consider" probably isn't something you do.

LesBontemps July 17, 2012 at 1:31 pm

And I thought it was just a mistake when McCain endorsed Obama at that Romney rally in January. Heengghhh? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34phsb4e6Eg

fuflans July 17, 2012 at 1:32 pm

i believe it was mayor rahm who first noted that mccain preferred palin to mittens (and his 23 years of tax returns).

keep nattering on about the 'chicago way' bitches.

GeorgiaBurning July 17, 2012 at 1:32 pm

OF COURSE he picks the milf with the boobies over the empty suit guy with nice hair. He was a naval aviator, and not gay.

widestanceromance July 17, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Does anyone else think the GOP chucked their hated McCain and now their hated Rmoney into the race because they hate these guys, and they know they cannot really compete with Obama, so why not ruin one of their own they never liked in the first place? I thought this about McCain in 2008, and now that they've tossed Willard headlong into the fire, I'm thinking it more and more. McCain is done forever due to his age, and once Rmoney fails once again, it will likely be his last real attempt. Then, again, sometimes I wonder if they really do think these men are contenders.

sullivanst July 17, 2012 at 1:36 pm

That would require a modicum of self-awareness, so no. Interesting idea, though.

CrunchyKnee July 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I believe that the braintrust behind the GeeOhPee does not want to win this presidential election nor the last one. They'll just keep tanking the economy via the congress, fuck with the Constitution via the SCOTUS and then blame the Dems all while riding to years of victory in '16 with lots of lovely austerity for all but the 1%.

widestanceromance July 17, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Exactly. After taking the country down as far as they did under Bush, they don't want any real power/responsibility to fix that which went so wrong while they "lost their way."

SorosBot July 17, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Based on the primaries, both Romney and McCain won the nomination because of the two sweetest words in the English language, de-fault.

Nostrildamus July 17, 2012 at 2:14 pm

You know, hate is just what the GOP does. It's their signature brand. It's the way they show they care. Think of it as a kind of love.

ASHLEIGH_Joe July 17, 2012 at 1:34 pm

So in other words, this campaign, both top and bottom of the ticket, is really just the scraps and leavings of the super-awesome McCain campaign, of which Snowbilly Grifter actually was the best in show?

Actually, yeah, that kinda does sound correct right about now.

ChernobylSoup July 17, 2012 at 1:34 pm

McCain, the republicans' own Corey Booker.

poorgradstudent July 17, 2012 at 1:36 pm

This is good news for dementia.

OneYieldRegular July 17, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Where are Ann Romney's long-form tax returns, HENGGGGH?

DerrickWildcat July 17, 2012 at 1:38 pm

She is terrible lady.

MissTaken July 17, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Better = Boobies

Buckminster July 17, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Has to suck to be Romney today.

fuflans July 17, 2012 at 1:43 pm

et tu john?

BerkeleyBear July 17, 2012 at 1:45 pm

To sum up, based on GOP actions over the last decade:

W>McCain>Palin>Romney>any other choice>Obama

Wow, that is a whole lot of fail. Unless your underlying goal is to challenge the idea that humans are rational creatures who have evolved to be smarter than our simian brethren. Wait – that's it! This entire thing is a Creationist plot to convince Americans we are collectively too idiotic for evolution to be real!

Steverino247 July 17, 2012 at 1:48 pm

DARWIN LIBEL!!!

Chet Kincaid July 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I see John McCain has gotten back to not giving a shit, I mean Maverickiness®.

Dildeaux July 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm

The political equivalent of get off my lawn.

Paylin better than tpaw or mittbot.

Ouch! That will leave a mark.

Wadisay July 17, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Come on, why?

G'won you guys, get off my lawn!

RadioSlut July 17, 2012 at 1:50 pm

McCain also said Ho Chi Minh was a more patriotic leader than Mitts.

kittensdontlie July 17, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Oh Johnny boy….her rack, her rack is calling you.
From over her suit top and down her mountains' sides…
(Apologies to any undrunken Irish I might have offended with my lyrical adjustment.)

With that gimpy arm, he had no hope in undoing that top button, but he was giving it some thought…"those things need some air if they are going to live….

Estproph July 17, 2012 at 1:53 pm

How bad is Romney that SARAH PALIN is a better candidate?

zappadoo76 July 17, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Walnuts is not looking at Sarah's tits. You can't even see her tits in that conservative little $10,000 black suit. He's looking at her script, on the lectern, and marveling at how well she has it memorized. She doesn't even have to look at it. Alas, this was her sole talent, as McCain discovered, to his chagrin.

Chet Kincaid July 17, 2012 at 2:58 pm

He's standing behind her. When this actually happened, everyone's perception was that he was staring at her ass, not her tits. But maybe that's just my cultural bias.

greenide1 July 17, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Methinks he got "That's a stupid question" all mixed up with "That's a stupid answer." Cuz "Sarah Palin" is the stupidest answer a person could possibly give to the question "Who should we nominate to be VP?"

Nostrildamus July 17, 2012 at 1:58 pm

The answer is clear. Mittens needs to pick Bristol.

MissNancyPriss July 17, 2012 at 2:01 pm

As wife, right?

ChessieNefercat July 17, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I think the term is "sister wife."

BlueStateLibel July 17, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Mitt is now officially *The Last Guy Ever Picked In Gym Class.*

Nostrildamus July 17, 2012 at 2:02 pm

What I love about this is that McCain will do whatever he can to sabotage Mittens at this point. Not only from the quite understandable personal dislike, but so he won't go down in history as the only candidate ever to lose to a black guy.

prommie July 17, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Thats just gotta hurt. But Mittens won't get it.

Jus_Wonderin July 17, 2012 at 2:11 pm

When I think about how we Democrats shoot ourselves in the foot so many times, it only takes a minute to remember that Republicans do they same thing…they just like to blow the foot completely off.

McCain, it is time for you meds.

Nostrildamus July 17, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Mittens doesn't want anyone who speaks better than him at the convention. So who will speak? My guess is Mitt himself, T-Paw, W and maybe a live feed from RR's crypt cam.

MrsConclusion July 17, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Does he still think so? Would McCain rather vote for her than Mitt?

CleverSobriquet July 17, 2012 at 2:33 pm

That's a clown question bro. Sorry, I'm a week behind on my memes

RadioSlut July 17, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Must. Not. Make. TRIsomyG. Joke.

sullivanst July 17, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I like how making it more offensive gets it past the censorbot.

labman57 July 17, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Palin is more qualified to be VP than Romney, eh? Ouch!

sullivanst July 17, 2012 at 2:43 pm

McCain felt that having Mittens as his VP would have been a less mutually beneficial arrangement.

smitallica July 17, 2012 at 2:44 pm

THIS GAME'S OOOO-VER!!! (Clap! Clap! Clappy-Clap!!)

mr bojangles July 17, 2012 at 2:45 pm

mccain you funny like clown!

elburritodeluxe July 17, 2012 at 2:52 pm

That was one of her nicest wigs.

ingloriousbytch July 17, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I love how even when Republicans think they're complimenting someone, they're basically kicking them in the balls.

fitley July 17, 2012 at 2:59 pm

After Sarah winked at him, turgidity took over.

Franknflower July 17, 2012 at 3:02 pm

I never get tired of that woman.

rickmaci July 17, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Oh damn did that leave one hellava mess under the McCain straight talk bus.

KeepFnThatChicken July 17, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I really believe John's going to answer this question with loyalty in mind. He probably doesn't want to look like Strom Thurmond or Silvio Berlusconi in his old age… so to erase the sins of his past (wife), loyalty above all… to preserve a legacy.

Lynne July 17, 2012 at 3:23 pm

And that, boys and girls, is McCain's official endorsement of Romney…Palin was better.

mavenmaven July 17, 2012 at 3:29 pm

What's the difference between Romney and a Pit Bull?

LetUsBray July 17, 2012 at 5:34 pm

The pit bull doesn't lie every damn time it opens its mouth?

DahBoner July 17, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Better Tits. Ass, also.

zippy_w_pinhead July 17, 2012 at 3:44 pm

so which VP candidate was a better choice than Mittens?

Why, all of them Katie

finallyhappy July 17, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Here in Paris- nothing about the campaign .the news is Syria, tour de France and the failure of the firm that is supposed to provide security for the Olympics. Thank goodness for the Internet and wonkette

Chet Kincaid July 17, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Wait a minute, you and Chichikovovich are both in Paris?! What's all this then?!

PinkoMoonbat July 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Me too! Of course, I live here. And finallyhappy is right about the news. Those tacks on the Tour de France course… pas bien.

gurukalehuru July 17, 2012 at 4:18 pm

They never even looked at Mitt's tax returns.

gurukalehuru July 17, 2012 at 4:22 pm

This was a Forrestal moment.

Isyaignert July 17, 2012 at 6:48 pm

This is the best evah version of that fateful night – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qUVQDmLf7s

NYNYNYjr July 17, 2012 at 7:26 pm

This cat has been Mayor of an Alaskan town for 15 years. He thinks Palin is an idiot. http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/cat-mayor-al

berkeleyfarm July 18, 2012 at 1:46 am

I have a friend who lives in that town and both she and her mayor think that Palin is an idiot.

ttommyunger July 17, 2012 at 7:53 pm

I sincerely hope John did pork her. It would be nice to know that Sarah had those fond memories to live with the rest of her miserable life.

berkeleyfarm July 18, 2012 at 1:47 am

Oh, wow.

Hey, last time, Cheney waited till juuuust before the election to spike the ball. John's about three months early.

Negropolis July 18, 2012 at 2:47 am

This is just like flying a plane into an aircraft carrier.

SorosBot July 17, 2012 at 2:09 pm
ChessieNefercat July 17, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Now that I think of it, there is probably no way that Palin could be a worse candidate than we expected.

actor212 July 17, 2012 at 2:41 pm

You too, huh? I really wish she'd cut back on the coffee, tho.

ASHLEIGH_Joe July 17, 2012 at 2:55 pm

I see your nebulously worksafe gifs, and raise you an interview clip of her talking about her art school days

sullivanst July 17, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Oh just get to the GQ shoot already.

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