TAKE THE HIT  6:20 pm July 16, 2012

Romney’s Tax Man Cometh

by Kris E. Benson

why is this man smiling?Poor, poor Mitt. He and his dancing horse have been having a tough go of it lately. Turns out he may (or may not!) have lied to the SEC about the good times he had at Bain capital between 1999 and 2002, presiding over the disposal of dead fetuses unborn babies before retroactively retiring. Then a bunch of conservatives went on the teevee and demanded that he release more than two years’ of tax returns, except for the Governor of Alabama, who had just said that he thought that PEOPLE, not ROMNEY in particular, just PEOPLE should release their tax returns because of transparency. Even our favorite sexist morning show host Joe Scarborough (no offense to our second favorite sexist morning show host, Steve Doocy!) thinks Romney might have not paid any taxes for a couple years, but that he should just release them anyway and “take the hit.” But this tax returns business is just SILLINESS, because no matter how many tax returns he releases, “it won’t be enough!” It will just give the Obama people more fodder for their lies and distortions. And also, Teresa Kerry (who wasn’t running for president) didn’t release hers and “this wasn’t an issue” (except it was) so why should he, Mitt Romney, lord of the Free Market, master of time, and possessor of a record that is all about winning the future, have to release his?

Via ABC:

Mitt Romney is standing firm on his plans to release two years worth of tax returns and nothing more.   Romney already released his tax return for 2010, and an estimate for 2011.  When asked for a firm date for the release of the 2011 return, a top Romney adviser said he couldn’t provide one.

On Fox News this morning, Romney said, “John McCain ran for president and released two years of tax returns.”  He added, “John Kerry ran for president and you know his wife who has hundreds of millions of dollars.  She never released her tax returns and somehow this wasn’t an issue.”

The Romney campaign believes the issue of Romney’s returns isn’t resonating with voters as much as the Obama campaign would like…

In addition to stepping up their attacks on what they call President Obama’s cronyism – rewarding wealthy donors and friends — the Romney campaign will also argue this week that this debate over Romney’s tax returns and the candidate’s role three years after Romney left Bain Capital in 1999 are “distractions” by the Obama campaign.  Romney, they say, remains focused on the big issues including the economy and jobs.

Felonies. Distractions. Tomato. Tomahto. Let’s just enjoy this brief and fleeting moment wherein Democratic strategists are on the offensive for once, shall we?

[ABC]

 
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{ 531 comments }

ManchuCandidate July 16, 2012 at 6:25 pm

The Butthurt is strong with this one.

RadioSlut July 16, 2012 at 6:47 pm

The Blame Obama is also, too, strong on this one.

yrbmegr July 16, 2012 at 7:41 pm

I'm having fun speculating about all the foreign officials he bribed while at Bain, the payments for which are detailed in the tax returns he refuses to release.

JohnnyQuick July 16, 2012 at 8:17 pm

"Tragedy is when I get accused of a crime that I'm trying to cover up.
Comedy is when one of the uninsured dies of cancer."

Maybe Mel Brooks' version was better.

johnnyzhivago July 16, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Romney's right – tax returns were never – never an issue for Kerry during his campaign. I don't recall it ever came up after he was elected either.

Vecchiojohn July 16, 2012 at 8:36 pm

And the liberal media never went after President Gore like this.

CarolinaStewPie July 16, 2012 at 10:25 pm

I love those President Kerry billboards where he's windsurfing and being run over by a SwiftBoat, with the caption..'Miss Me Yet'?

DrunkIrishman July 16, 2012 at 6:25 pm

It's clear Mitt Romney has some investments overseas in the kiddie sex trade. I mean, why else would he be hiding his tax returns? I think it's the only logical reason. Mitt Romney supports the child sex trade. Pervert.

SmutBoffin July 16, 2012 at 6:39 pm

How do we know he hasn't been giving material support to hateful extremist mosks or Occupy-affiliated organizations or medical marijuana advocacy causes?

Conservatives should demand the release of these filings, or do they want it revealed after Romney wins the election that he actually maintains residences BOTH in Kenya AND ON THE MOON.

Chet Kincaid July 16, 2012 at 6:40 pm

You know, I just read that on the Internet, too!

va_real July 16, 2012 at 6:49 pm

So did I, and it's sounds REALLY PLAUSIBLE!

Veritas78 July 16, 2012 at 7:00 pm

He's never denied it.

va_real July 16, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Well, there ya go!

yrbmegr July 16, 2012 at 8:00 pm

He's also never denied having bribed foreign officials, the details of which are undoubtedly enumerated in his un-released tax returns.

HogeyeGrex July 16, 2012 at 7:43 pm

It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 16, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Just report it, and let people decide. All fair and balanced like.

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 6:48 pm

ROMNEY/SANDUSKY/2012!*

*prison, not the White House.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 7:45 pm

You hear me complaining?

starfanglednut July 16, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Hi Z!

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Hey, sweetpea! How's it going at your end of the swamp? It's freezing and gray out here!

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 16, 2012 at 7:10 pm

I just assumed that he was funding the cover up of fellow Mormon Glenn Beck's rape and murder of a girl. Neither one has denied it!

Nothingisamiss July 16, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Those Mormons! It's a conspiracy!

DemmeFatale July 16, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Mitt must be hiding something REALLY bad to be worth all this trouble.
Leave it to the trusty Wonketteers to suggest some possibilities!
(I think it's time, don't you?)

SmutBoffin July 16, 2012 at 7:32 pm

I hear he has been making large donations to organizations that want to redefine marriage to include unions between humans and bigfoots/feet.

emmelemm July 16, 2012 at 7:56 pm

They prefer to be called Sasquatches.

/political correctness

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Sure, we're not supposed to call them anything but "Sasquatch", and "Yeti". But listen to that "stomp" music their kids play, or just listen to one of their conversations, and it's all "bigfoot" this and "bigfoot" that.

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Rumor is that he's been spending a fortune training shock troops of Mormon missionaries to fan out through the U.S. and take over Bible-believing® New Testament Christian® Churches to preach the Book of Mormon. When his sport-coated legions are in place, he'll change the pledge of allegiance to say "…one nation under God and the Angel Moroni"! And it will be a crime to preach that God, the Holy Ghost and Jesus are all one person!

Edit: Though now that I think about it, I don't see why the Trinity is even that hard to understand in Romneyworld. Just understand that G/HG/J have incorporated [no, not that, kind of incorporated, I mean became a legal corporation]. And since corporations are people…..

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Altho, srsly, shouldn't it be "Bigger this" and "Bigger that"?

kittensdontlie July 16, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Don't you see…Romneygate(him being himself is scandalous) is the Angel Moroni incarnate! His wealth is from the appreciated value of the golden tablets 'A. Moroni' has had since 1838. A sweet mother lode of inflation since then has left R-gate wealthy and A MORON!
Q.E.D.

rickmaci July 16, 2012 at 7:22 pm

His secret accounts in the Caribbean funneled money to the drug cartels. At least that's what somebody, not quite sure who, said on the interwebs.

weejee July 16, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Does he share a cabana and have a few Havanas with a blowhard with a fist fulla Viagra™?

johnnymeatworth July 16, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Has Steve Miller sued him for playing "Take The Money And Run" at campaign rallies yet?

ManchuCandidate July 16, 2012 at 6:33 pm

More like the Beetles should lay a pounding on him for "Taxman."

va_real July 16, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Only it needs to be updated to 'there's one for you, ninety-nine for me'…

Callyson July 16, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Steve Miller might just be glad not to hear Mo' Money Mo' Problems at Mitten's rallies yet again…

Fred_Wertham_Jr July 16, 2012 at 7:43 pm

No, but BMG Publishing made Rmoney pull the ad with Obama singing Al Green for the copyright violation.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 7:46 pm

I'm so thrilled!~

johnnymeatworth July 16, 2012 at 7:49 pm

AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Ain't it great?

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Or "The Joker"?

jakegittes July 17, 2012 at 12:11 am

Or, "Livin' in the USA." Somebody give me a cheeseburger.

I see a yellow man, a brown man
A white man, a red man
Lookin' for Uncle Sam
To give you a helpin' hand
But everybody's kickin' sand
Even politicians
We're living in a plastic land
Somebody give me a hand, yeah

ProgressiveInga July 16, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Rich, entitled and wearing magic undies is no way to go through life, son.

majicunderwear July 16, 2012 at 6:28 pm

I Thought Ann already mentioned that when unzipped Mittens could not stand firm.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 16, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Not stiff at all, I think is what she said.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Poor Ann! Do you have any gifts in your magic sack for Poor Ann, Biely?

Biel_ze_Bubba July 17, 2012 at 12:35 am

She's in purgatory already.

flamingpdog July 17, 2012 at 1:14 am

I've been meaning to ask you this for a long time, but since you're a man of wealth and taste, are there people you will simply refuse to accept in Hell because they are even too low for you?

LetUsBray July 16, 2012 at 6:29 pm

After the years of "Where's the birth certificate? What's he trying to hide? Why won't he release the birth certificate? No, not that birth certificate – the one that exists only in my mind, bla bla bla", this is so incredibly fair.

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Oh, God yes, that would be wonderful. "No, not these so-called tax returns! We want the, um, uh, original submission returns. No, I'm not going to tell you what that means. You should already know. And since you've been acting so shifty, we'll be wanting all original receipts please!"

Biel_ze_Bubba July 16, 2012 at 8:57 pm

At least there really IS a long form version!

kittensdontlie July 16, 2012 at 10:58 pm

We have been over this a dozen times already! Ol' Mittsy boy will release his tax returns when Obamaman releases his real birth certificate…you know, the one from KENYA!!

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:36 am

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/320412

I can't take credit for this, but I thought you'd enjoy it.

CapnRadio July 16, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Poor, poor Mitt. He and his dancing horse have been having a tough go of it lately.

No, no, no, you're confused. Bristol is Sarah Palin's daughter, not Mitt Romney's wife.

Veritas78 July 16, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Horse, not heifer. It's an easy mistake to make.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 16, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Umm…. not really.

Lynne July 16, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Is that a picture of Mitt's dancing horse?

Negropolis July 16, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Sarah Jessica Parker libel!

BlueStateLibel July 16, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Can the Repubs retroactively recall him as their candidate? He's starting to look about as much a winner as the Confederate Army.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Even they're saying it now.

Negropolis July 16, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Yes, they can retroactively recall him when Obama kicks his ass all across this great nation come November.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:38 am

He's doing it NOW! I can't wait. The debates will be murder, on Rmoney.

Blueb4sunrise July 16, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Hey, yeah, what about Ann Romney's tax returns.?

Veritas78 July 16, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Since everything seems to have been stashed in her name, we actually do have a right to know.

BerkeleyBear July 16, 2012 at 8:31 pm

They use joint filings because she doesn't make shit on her own (or at least the ones that have come out so far are joint). He just used her to hold things (like the Sankaty High Yield crap) and probably uses her to double up tax free gifts to their spawn. So if we really got his, we'd get hers, too.

Now watch, that'll be the next argument – she's not running for anything, so you can't have his returns.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 1:10 am

I suspect if he tries to make that argument, there will be a roar of outrage among the common people.

GunToting[Redacted] July 17, 2012 at 11:17 am

You really think this? Remember, Romney is WHITE.

PubOption July 16, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Mitt will reverse himself yet again, and claim that Ann does not work, and so need not file a tax return.

weejee July 16, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Felonies, aren't they a peonies-like shrub often found in the Hamptons?

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I thought Shrub was most often found in the Dallas suburbs these days.

Negropolis July 16, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Yeah, I also hear that they've overgrown the flowers on Wall Street. Time to prune.

fuflans July 16, 2012 at 6:32 pm

you stand firm there mittbot.

no, seriously, stand firm.

this is delicious.

Chet Kincaid July 16, 2012 at 6:47 pm

I swear to God there's coconuts and caramel in this!

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Being it's Mitt, probably not incense and peppermints.

WhatTheHeck July 16, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Give the guy a break. Mitt’s probably Greek and just doesn’t like paying taxes.

smokefilledroommate July 16, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Or taxes are Greek to him.

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Or he likes to go Greek with Texans.

Callyson July 16, 2012 at 6:57 pm

That would explain why I kept thinking "why don't you two just fuck already?" when Perry and Mittens were going after each other in the debates last year…

starfanglednut July 16, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Ewwwww…

Negropolis July 16, 2012 at 11:33 pm

The Greeks don't mind paying taxes. The problem is that they so overextended on spending and were robbed so blind by the financial sector that ot enough taxes in the world could fill that hole.

emmelemm July 16, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Honestly. JUST RELEASE THE FUCKING TAX RETURNS.

Doing otherwise makes it look like he's got something he's really, really, really, really desperate to hide. Which means we get to use our imagination (child sex rings), which is bound to be worse than whatever he's actually hiding.

emmelemm July 16, 2012 at 6:37 pm

ETA: And it's not just that he's a rich fuck. We all know he's a rich fuck, we don't need a number on it. For that matter, ALL presidential candidates are rich fucks. End of story.

SmutBoffin July 16, 2012 at 6:43 pm

This is the SECOND place I have heard about Romney's investments in sex-trafficking. Must be true!

va_real July 16, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Now I'm not just suspicious, I'm convinced. Let's all go compose chain e-mails in Cosmic Sans with angel gif's…

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 7:48 pm

And Maxine clip art.

EatFrankRich July 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

You're on my Uncle John's mailing list too?

GeorgiaBurning July 16, 2012 at 6:58 pm

The child sex trafficking allegations about Romney are greatly exaggerated, the boys certainly looked like they were 18.

Veritas78 July 16, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Well, they probably are now, so it's old news.

Negropolis July 16, 2012 at 11:34 pm

This is exactly why he shouldn't release them (while I ask sarcastically "Why won't he show us the tax returns?"). I want to see him squirm for a few more weeks.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:41 am

I feel as if I'm being cruel — until I remember that this is the same MittTheShitt who mocked poor folks at NASCAR for wearing cheap rain ponchos. Or serving him local prize-winning bakery cookies. Or doughnuts, that he couldn't remember the name of.

Jadetiger79 July 17, 2012 at 2:22 am

That's what I'm thinking of, that kid whose hair he cut off must be having a huge laugh up there. Mittens is getting payback for all the shit he's done. On a global stage.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 2:31 am

Yup. In fact, Mitt is going to be remembered by many people as the asshole who held down a gay kid and forcibly cut his hair. He deserves every second of the pain and shame and humiliation, assuming, of course, that he actually feels any of it. This is karma, in action.

Negropolis July 17, 2012 at 8:07 am

I feel a little bad about Obama grabbing Romney's fist and using his fist own to hit himself while asking sarcastically "why do you keep hitting yourself?", and then it passes.

Bain is as much a part of Romney as his hand, and he's going to keep getting it shoved back in his face for abusing his power and influence for so many years and destroying so many lives just so his shallow wish of running for president could be fulfilled.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:08 pm

(Hugs Negropolis) You sure do know how to make a person, happy, dude.

Instant (OK, it took a while) Karma.

Buckminster July 17, 2012 at 12:08 am

Better yet, Asian freak-museums made up of mangled 3rd-world orphans. Yay for surgery! Economy building!

coolhandnuke July 16, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Yo Mitt, The IRS–if you remove a space might mean THEIRS–but if you're running for President (and you are for the fourth time) it might just also mean OURS.

Hammiepants July 16, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Poor Mittens, no one told him when he threw his "Lil' Oligarch's" brand top hat into the ring that he might be accountable to "people" who don't own their own version of Versailles in the Hamptons.

MissTaken July 16, 2012 at 6:36 pm

I read on the internet that Mitt is involved in child sex rings and that is why he won't release his returns.

Schmannnity July 16, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Underage Mormon wife porn is what I heard.

Veritas78 July 16, 2012 at 7:18 pm

No, he just incinerated aborted fetuses…

Oops: too soon?

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 7:49 pm

I thought Stericycle was involved in disposing of aborted fetal tissue, and Bane invested in them and Mitt profited from the investments, right?

Veritas78 July 16, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Why, that's exactly what happened! And smack-dab in the middle of those "gray" years between 1999 and 2002.

Stericycle® (sterile, recycle, get it? So Bain-clever!) is now the nation's leading incinerator of aborted fetuses. (If you're French, it would be incinerateur, kinda like restauranteur.)

Safe, clean, good for the environment: Stericycle®! For a limited time, we'll include a free Mormon baptism—but act now!

ASHLEIGH_Joe July 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Oh, is that where Venom comes from?

coolhandnuke July 16, 2012 at 6:41 pm

I also read on that internet Click here for College Girls Single Moms.

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Well, I do think that Mitt and his handlers are worried about some of the Mutually Beneficial Relationships that might come to light.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm

As a matter of fact, Mitt *does* have an MBA, or so I hear.

SorosBot July 16, 2012 at 6:44 pm

I just read that on the internet, too! It must be true; he hasn't denied it yet.

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Dubya MBA = Masters of Business Administration.
Mittens MBA = Mutually Beneficial Arrangments.

Chet Kincaid July 16, 2012 at 6:57 pm

You see, these kinds of things are a distraction. Mitt Romney is focused on jobs and the economy, not the child sexual exploitation investments that many speculate could be the reason he would face felony charges should he release his returns!

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Wow, EVERYONE seems to be talking about Mitt and child sex rings! I'm seeing this all over Teh InterNets! It MUST be true!

sewollef July 17, 2012 at 10:09 am

Ahh. This leaves me conflicted.

On the one hand I want this to be true so it'll totally destroy the Republican National Convention, and Romney of course…. and on the other hand I don't want it to be true. For the victims.

Geminisunmars July 17, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Pansy liberal.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 3:01 pm

True. But the fact is that Sheldon Adelson, who is pumping $100 MIL into Romney's campaign, IS involved in trafficking underage women for sex. Why isn't that getting the attention it deserves?

Nostrildamus July 16, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Some say …

emmelemm July 16, 2012 at 7:55 pm

We report, You decide.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

That's fair. Maybe even balanced.

imissopus July 16, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Release the dang child-sex muniez!

smokefilledroommate July 16, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Too fucking rich to be legit and too Mitt to quit.

SayItWithWookies July 16, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Hell, if he doesn't want anyone to see his tax returns, why doesn't he just destroy them like he did with all those emails and computer hard drives from when he was governor of Massachusetts? Of course, the left-wing media would probably have some manufactured outrage over that, but they do that about everything.

va_real July 16, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Well, at least we still have SOME manufacturing jobs left in this country.

JustPixelz July 16, 2012 at 6:39 pm

"…rewarding wealthy donors and friends…"

With Romney, those are the same people.

Schmannnity July 16, 2012 at 6:40 pm

BACK OFF LITTLE PEOPLE!

sewollef July 17, 2012 at 8:46 am

So many comments…. but this is Post of the Thread!

Made me laugh out loud [or 'lol', as the the kids say]. In the office. With other people in the room.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 16, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Mittens has become the man that nobody wants to have a beer with even if he did drink. Come to think of it, the last nondrinking president was a real cluster fuck. Let's not do that again. Okay America?

nounverb911 July 16, 2012 at 6:44 pm

"Romney’s Tax Man Cometh"
Is his name Godot?

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 7:09 pm

I. Ben Beatinoff.

AddHomonym July 16, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Guffman.

fuflans July 16, 2012 at 7:39 pm

i think it's harry hope.

weejee July 16, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Godot mate?

SorosBot July 16, 2012 at 6:45 pm

"Romney, they say, remains focused on the big issues including the economy and jobs."

Yes, we know Romney wants to destroy the economy and make sure no one has good jobs, he doesn't need to keep reminding us of that.

RadioSlut July 16, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Oh the sins of the father. Didn't Daddy Warbucks Romney start this whole disclosure thingy?

va_real July 16, 2012 at 7:03 pm

I almost feel sorry for Willard. His father had a moral compass, and he didn't pass it down to his son.

snackypants July 16, 2012 at 7:38 pm

I'm surprised the diamond-encrusted, platinum Rolex doesn't come standard with a moral compass.

va_real July 16, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Strangely, Rolex found there wasn't much demand for that feature.

Negropolis July 16, 2012 at 11:41 pm

And, let me tell you, George would have never went to the NAACP convention and pulled the shit Willard did. What a fucking disgrace.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 1:14 am

Talk about shitting all over his old man's legacy.

Steverino247 July 16, 2012 at 6:47 pm

My bet is that he will never release them and will lose the election as a result. He's taking the position where one denies there's a problem until it goes away. This won't go away, though, which should be clear when R's from all over are telling him to release the returns. There has to be something so toxic in those returns that releasing them will do much more damage that refusing to do it.

In fact, releasing them might be giving evidence against himself, if that felony talk is for real. Tough choice: Losing the Presidential election or giving the Feds evidence you've committed a felony.

Nostrildamus July 16, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Why not do both?

va_real July 16, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Well, nobody flip-flops like the Mitt- doing both would be in character. He needs to wait until his timing's worse, though.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 7:55 pm

I can't believe he's this stubborn and stupid. Because the longer he drags his feet on this, the more convinced people become that he's hiding something VERY damaging and bad. And no matter what he's hiding, it cannot possibly be worse than what the imagination of millions can conjure up.

He really is a fool. He's proved that over the past two weeks. He's already lost. The RWNJs on Twitter are speculating that Santorum should unsuspend his campaign, Palin's nutbags are speculating that she has the best chance with a brokered convention, and so forth. None of it will amount to anything because it's simply too late for anyone else to step in, now. But it underscores how little support there is for him in his own party and how effectively the Obama campaign has cut him off at the knees.

George Fucking WILL is openly saying Romney has lost.

emmelemm July 16, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Don't discount rigged election machines and poll tax voter ID requirements. His ship should be sunk, but just maybe it ain't.

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 8:11 pm

No, we can't discount that at all, of course. But for that to work, you need the election to be close – to hinge on one or two states with Republican governors. [And wouldn't you know - Republican governors in Florida, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Ohio. Well funded by Koch money. Let no one ever say that that those goniffs don't plan ahead.]

If Romney isn't even making a plausible showing, if the opinion polls are wildly in Obama's favor, if the gap is just too great for any chicanery not to be discovered, they're sunk.

Too many people are watching – Obama and his people are loading up with the lawyers and experts that Gore and Kerry naïvely thought would not be needed.

emmelemm July 16, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Honestly: thank you for making me feel an eensy teensy bit better.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

(Hugs the Chich) Thanks. I needed the voice of sanity.

Incidentally, Barb is aflood with out-of-town guests, which is why she has been scarce in these parts, but she would like to talk to you about Canada, she sez. Apparently, she and her spouse are considering a move to cold Northern parts.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

True. He does infuriate me something terrible. Must learn to button lip and remain calm.

BerkeleyBear July 16, 2012 at 8:40 pm

They are stupid enough to follow up whining about Obama being negative with negative ads bashing Obama for supposed "crony capitalism." Only the allegations are all old and warn out (loans to Solyndra and Fiskar under the Bush era loan guarantee program) or stock stuff no one who knows anything about elections would be upset about (bundlers, shockingly enough, get access and appointments on occasion). Plus Romney won't disclose who his bundlers are (other than the lobbyists required to be disclosed by law – the same lobbyists who aren't allowed to even donate to Obama), much less even suggest what would be an acceptable ethical standard. It is all just that Romney is somehow to be trusted to have higher standards. Which is pretty laughable since Romney keeps saying on everything financial "I do what the law requires, so shut the hell up."

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

I have an intellectual analysis of this, and a gut-level feeling about it. My intellectual analysis, I have already mostly laid out, and I'm willing to concede that no one can know the outcome of this thing till it's over, especially in light of the Republican fondness for rigging voting machines, and denying people their right to vote.

My gut tells me Romney has ALREADY lost this thing. He *looks* tired and defeated, and he *sounds* lost. Perception is everything, especially in this country where people are manipulated daily by the very ambient sounds and scents around them. Romney has been marked with the stink of failure. He might well recover, but my instinct tells me no. Humans instinctively reject the weak. It's the natural instinct of creatures that are accustomed to being prey (for some while preying on others). We can't quit working till the last votes have been counted. But frankly, it does not look good for Mitt today.

CarolinaStewPie July 16, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Is this a great country, or what? That terrorist fist-bumpin' Kenyan, doggie-dinin', hoops lovin' black guy Mooslim, Kenyan born, healthcare promotin', never-releasin'-his-school records, 'Merica hatin' rascal might win?!?!?!….AGAIN!?!?!?! HOLY CRAP HE'S A BLACK GUY!!!!

Wait. Maybe he's actually a white guy…you know..RETROACTIVELY. He's got two caucasian grandparents from Kansas, of all places, Dorothy!

Yeah, that's the ticket!

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 11:19 pm

I'm really feeling hopeful, CarolinaStewPie.

MissNancyPriss July 17, 2012 at 12:33 am

Republican voters don't care if Mitt releases his taxes or not. They don't care that he bullied a guy in HS, they don't care that he drugged his wife's horse to sell it. They won't care when/if he kills a woman in cold blood, they don't care, they don't care, they don't care.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 1:19 am

And we don't care about those Republican voters who are THAT rigid and narrow. The electorate can be divided into rough thirds, with some 30% being registered Republicans, another 30% being registered Democrats, another 30-40% being the much lauded Independents/apolitical dingdongs.

Most Democrats will vote for Obama. Like as not, a majority of Republicans will vote for Romney. It's who the Independents/unaffiliated voters will vote for that will decide the election. And they seem to care very much about Romney's tax releases, for one.

flamingpdog July 17, 2012 at 1:29 am

Waitaminute, 30% + 30% +40%, that only adds up to 100%. Where's the other 79%?

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 1:49 am

Duh, pdog, the other 79% are staying home on their fat asses watching Pox Ooze and eating Cheetos!

Extemporanus July 16, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Did the child sex trafficking operations Mitt Romney invested in the early 90s afford him different deduction amounts depending on the gender and race of the child?

I'm asking for a friend…

SmutBoffin July 16, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Jarb kreayshun!

Those youngsters who were, uh, apprenticed, in the 90s are now independent contractors.

Jarb kreayshun!

BoatOfVelociraptors July 17, 2012 at 12:17 am

Release the 1099's!

bobbert July 16, 2012 at 8:18 pm

I'm looking forward to learning more about the synthetic debt obligations that he used to securitize the sex trafficking operations. #winningthefutureretroactively

va_real July 16, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Winning the future retroactively = brilliant!

Callyson July 16, 2012 at 6:49 pm

The Romney campaign is praying that the issue of Romney’s returns isn’t resonating with voters as much as any sensible person will tell you it will…

/fixed

Blueb4sunrise July 16, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I can't post in Wonkville, but there's breaking news that Mitt Romney is somehow involved in the sex trade.

coolhandnuke July 16, 2012 at 7:33 pm

The news hounds have connected the dots to Mitt and a kiddie porn ring….Mitt has many kiddies. Utah is the #1 porn user per person in the country. Mitt saved the '02 Olympic rings from collapse.

Chill_Bill July 16, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I've been playing Mitt's version of "America The Beautiful" in an endless loop all day today. I'm enjoying it while it lasts…

va_real July 16, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Are you sure that's wise? I couldn't get through it more than once.

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Have you talked to your doctor about cochlear implants?

Chill_Bill July 16, 2012 at 7:23 pm

I'm playing it for everybody else, not me (that's what noise cancelling headphones are for, right?)

Maman July 16, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Obama's donors give him cash to get favors. Mitten's donors give him money because they are patriots.

Me_K_Cong July 16, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Will the Republican party realize Romney is non-electable? Or will they ride this barrel over the falls?

va_real July 16, 2012 at 7:08 pm

There's still time for a Convention breakout: Palin/Bachmann 2012, anyone?

BarackMyWorld July 16, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Bob Doles says "hello."

TheMightyHaltor July 17, 2012 at 12:07 am

They'll stand pat. Other than the barrel, all they've got are a few empty Coke cans and a Dixie cup.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 17, 2012 at 12:19 am

They are are loyal to a fault. Even if Nixon is their fault.

Doktor Zoom July 17, 2012 at 3:03 am

They will decide in 4 years that it's time to nominate a REAL conservative, which by then will mean god only knows what.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 17, 2012 at 6:43 pm

I think full-tilt fundamentalist-creationist fascist will be the minimum job requirement … with Santorum as the VP candidate, to appeal to the moderates.

Negropolis July 17, 2012 at 8:13 am

They've known all along that he's non-electable. That's why they turned him away in 2008. The only reason he made it through, this time, is he was the only candidate that could self-fund and have any hope of competing against this president in the money game.

They know Romney's shit. It's why the primaries were more bitter than usual. But, Romney's personalwealth was not goingto be denied, this time.

Chet Kincaid July 17, 2012 at 9:19 am

What does his personal wealth matter when you have Anonymous Oligarchs pouring money into PACs?

Negropolis July 17, 2012 at 10:46 pm

The SuperPACs can only take a candidate so far. Were it not for Mitt's personal wealth, you better believe they wouldn't have let him through, this time, either.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 17, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Never mind the money … look at the competition he had.

scorpy1 July 16, 2012 at 6:55 pm

"why should he, Mitt Romney…have to release his?"

Because Mitt has always been about doing the absolute barest legal minimum of anything and fuck generosity.

SorosBot July 16, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Because we have good reason to suspect that Mitt had been avoiding paying his taxes by moving his money to offshore tax heavens, thus showing he hates America.

scorpy1 July 16, 2012 at 7:00 pm

I hate to be all gossipy, but I think it might end up being an onshore tax haven: http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/mitt-romney-million

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Thank you!

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 7:13 pm

I forget, how many levels of tax heavens do Mormons have?

Veritas78 July 16, 2012 at 7:25 pm

I see what you did there…

va_real July 16, 2012 at 7:35 pm

A
O
T
K

bobbert July 16, 2012 at 8:20 pm

All of them, Nephi.

Negropolis July 16, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Why does Mitt Romney hate America? I mean, he's totally down with Amercia,but he couldn't give two flying shits about America.

AbandonHope July 16, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Hey, alright! If he gets elected we have an impeachment reason built right in!

iburl July 16, 2012 at 7:34 pm

He's black?

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 8:05 pm

If it isn't already blindingly obvious, I'm here to tell you he's not getting elected any time soon.

AbandonHope July 16, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Oh, believe me, I know. I just figured everybody could use a laugh.

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 7:00 pm

John McCain saw 23 years of Romney's tax returns and picked Sarah Palin as his VP candidate. I saw that on the internet, too, also.

rocktonsam July 16, 2012 at 7:02 pm

its has to be a trick, this Rmoney is a tricky one, he is a trickster

Antispandex July 16, 2012 at 7:04 pm

"Mitt Romney is standing firm…."

…but without a wide stance. Not Mitt, no no, not our Mitt. He's all manly and stuff. Except for the whininess.

va_real July 16, 2012 at 7:10 pm

And the buttsechs.

lunchbox360 July 16, 2012 at 7:43 pm

And the mommy jeans.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I have *never* heard so much whining in my life. What a crybaby.

SorosBot July 16, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Why is it that every time Republicans mention something that was an issue with a previous Democratic candidate, they always claim it "wasn’t an issue" even though that's always a flat-out lie? Do they just think we all forget recent history?

anniegetyerfun July 16, 2012 at 7:33 pm

They absolutely count on it. They don't know how to Google anything other than "rent boy Washington DC", so why should we?

emmelemm July 16, 2012 at 8:00 pm

It's like, no matter what letter I type, the first thing that comes up in Google is "rent boy Washington DC"? How that get there?

Callyson July 16, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Nothing else explains how a Republican *ever* gets elected, so, yeah, they think we all have Alzheimer's. Or, at least, they think GOP voters are senile.

Come to think of it…

SorosBot July 16, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Someone actually said, in a discussion on whether Romney's Mormonism might turn off voters, "but Obama went to [typical rant on Rev. Wright], and it wasn't an issue!" Really? That bullshit that the media would not shut up about for months in 2008 and wingnuts still blather about was not an issue?

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 8:08 pm

I'm beginning to understand wingnutese. When they say "not an issue," they mean "He wasn't dragged from his home/car/office by mobs of irate loons dressed in cheap and inaccurate knockoffs of 18th century clothing and beaten/burned/shot/hanged." Anything else is clearly a miscarriage of justice.

MissTaken July 16, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Yes, that's exactly what they think.

You have to remember, the GOP is filled with corn syrup fed diabetics who have never seen, much less eaten, a real fruit or veggie in their life. The result is brain damage. They don't remember things like making a ginormous deal about Rev Wright, so how could *stupid* Dems remember?

BerkeleyBear July 16, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Well, McCain certainly acted like videotape didn't exist, and Mitt seems to be cut from the same cloth. They also have a long history of getting away with unchallenged revisionism, between the media either won't go there or works for Fox.

This is one way in which the internet has become a killer tool for savvy campaigns – everything is out there, and a lot easier to point out.

emmelemm July 16, 2012 at 9:00 pm

But, sadly, only to people who spend a lot of time on the internet.

SorosBot July 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Or who watch the Daily Show or Maddow. Which is pretty much preaching to the converted sadly.

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Well, once the stuff has been processed and discussed on boards like this one, and the most telling or most amusing bits have appeared on Maddow/Daily Show, then they can be further distilled into killer ads. It is the candidates job to use the material effectively or ineffectively. In the old days, how would a video like that of Romney singing "America the Beautiful" off-key to an unenthusiastic audience ever come to his opponents' attention?

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

That's not really true. Clearly it's true for *this* site. We *are* preaching to the converted when we discuss this here. But there's lots of other sites where people hang out and sooner or later, this information finds its way there. I've seen a tremendous change since G.W. Bush's first run at office and the current day in terms of information spread via the Net.

NellCote71 July 16, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Because they think the rest if America is as dumb as their base.

BarackMyWorld July 16, 2012 at 9:51 pm

My favorite example of this was the boomlet of fuss in 2004 over the H.J. Heinz Company engaging in outsourcing. Because the candidate's wife's late first husband was a member of the family that founded the company and he'd last worked for the company 20 years before he died, but left when elected to Congress (as a Republican).

Come here a minute July 16, 2012 at 7:05 pm

He's embarrassed to release his returns — his income dipped below eight figures, and what would the guys at the club say?

va_real July 16, 2012 at 8:11 pm

I think the guys at the club would say, "You'd think child sex trafficking would pay more than that?"…

arcadesproject July 16, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Hey, Winning the Future' was a campaign, of sorts, launched by O. It fell as flat as it deserved to fall and was allowed to expire.

HarryButtle July 16, 2012 at 7:09 pm

You know, there's a story ALL OVER THE INTERNET about Mitt bankrolling kiddie porn rings…so (per Cokie's Law) there must be something to it!

Too bad teh Wonkette doesn't have a "news" division…

emmelemm July 16, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Good thing Wonkette doesn't allow comments, either…

Chet Kincaid July 16, 2012 at 7:10 pm

It may be speculation, but some are questioning whether Mitt Romney ever stopped forcibly cutting gay teenagers' hair, and has a large vault of such "treasure" beneath one of his many homes. His tax returns could provide answers.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 16, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Where do you think the seed money for Bain came from? Each person working for Bain had to assault and take the hair from a gay person. They then sold it all to India to make wigs for Islamist women who had torn their hair out at the death of martyrs.

To this date, Mitt Romney has never denied any of this.

Dr. Nick Riviera July 16, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Constituents are asking these questions, it is the duty of our representatives to find out!

spudgun July 16, 2012 at 7:10 pm

On a tangent here, but…you know, for a multi-bazillionaire, he sure has dingy teeth.

RadioSlut July 16, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Shit stains are difficult to remove.

Dr. Nick Riviera July 16, 2012 at 7:24 pm

They were better before he ground them down this weekend watching Obama's ad

AddHomonym July 16, 2012 at 7:24 pm

But they are the right height.

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Needz more Pepsodent, less President.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I'm looking at that photo and wondering why they're greenish and stained like that. Does he share meals with Rafalca the dressage horse?

Negropolis July 16, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Crazy. I was just watching the Daily Show, and it's the first time I noticed his horrible teeth.

valgal2342 July 17, 2012 at 9:09 am

Well….I have some experience here since I've had a fair amount of dental work (being from KY and all) and I was amazed at how many colors natural teeth can have while we were matching my natural teeth color for the implant. Mitt does have good gums though.
Floss people, Floss!
That said, I think the color of Mitt's teeth look dingy because his is hiding his tax returns there in plain sight!

Vecchiojohn July 17, 2012 at 9:24 am

Maybe he ate his tax returns. Ink can be hell on teeth.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 17, 2012 at 6:48 pm

He had to .. the dog simply refused to help.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 3:14 pm

That was funny. I think I'm going to advance that theory. :)

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 16, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Isn't the real question "When is Romney going to release his Swiss, Barbados and Mexican Tax returns?"

I assume that Trumps investigators are on the way.

emmelemm July 16, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Do you even have to pay taxes in any of those countries? Just sayin'… [unfinished sentence]

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 16, 2012 at 8:43 pm

I'm not sure in Switzerland or Barbados, but in Mexico, you have to at least pay off the local government and drug dealer, which is a tax, of sorts (And, since it is based upon the free enterprise system, one of the few taxes supported by Heritage and the Koch Brothers!).

NellCote71 July 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

While Trump's investigators are down there, they may want to track down the Romney, er, genealogy.

SmutBoffin July 16, 2012 at 7:16 pm

He probably doesn't want us to know that he wrote off a (forbidden!) cup of coffee as a "travel expense" once.

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 7:16 pm

"Mitt Romney has publicly stated that he regularly tithes to his church," said Andrea Saul, a Romney campaign spokeswoman, when asked about the Bain contributions.

Or does he? Releasing his tax returns could embarrass him before the Grand Poobahs of the LDS church mayhap?

emmelemm July 16, 2012 at 8:04 pm

I certainly would not put that past him; however, for a check as big as Romney's ought to be, you'd think they'd know if they were missing it.

bobbert July 16, 2012 at 8:25 pm

I believe they do actually pay attention to these things.

Jennyjen798 July 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

My ex's family were of "the church", and my ex was named and somehow related to "Brigham's Sledgehammer".
His mother had kept him away from that side of the family but when he went back to AZ where a lot of his family had relocated, he felt pressured to get involved. They made out like his return to the church was a BFD but the very first thing the church asked for was his tax returns and a blank check for automatic drafts. They scoured his finances, calculated his average commissions, and kept tabs of his paypal accounts. It was creepy.

So no, I doubt very seriously Romney has ever missed a payment to his church lol.

emmelemm July 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Yep. Yep yep yep.

ASHLEIGH_Joe July 16, 2012 at 7:17 pm

“John Kerry ran for president and you know his wife who has hundreds of millions of dollars. She never released her tax returns and somehow this wasn’t an issue.”

That miiiight be because Teresa Heinz neither held nor was running for elected office, and has maintained her personal finances separate from those of her second husband? I mean, just a guess here.

It certainly could also be that -as Mitt Romney was implying- she, as a presidential candidate, had something to hide, because she was running for president.

ASHLEIGH_Joe July 16, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Also too, I suspect that Teresa Heinz (née Thierstein Simões-Ferreira), might not be a "natural-born" citizen.

WHERE'S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE???? WHY DIDN'T PEOPLE VET THIS IN 2004??????????

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 8:10 pm

Has it ever occurred to you that MITT MIGHT BE RUNNING FOR FIRST LADY?????

va_real July 16, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Hence the mom jeans! It finally makes sense!

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Exactly.

NellCote71 July 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Such an easy trap, Mitt. What about all the gazillions you transferred to Ann? So, yeah, we want to see her tax returns as well.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:53 pm

To Ann; to his sons; and who knows how else? Mitt Romney is a billionaire. He sold all his interest in Bain Capital, which was valued at $4 BILLION at the time of the sale. Yet he purportedly has a mere $250 million in his bank account. Johnny Depp has more in his bank account than THAT. So, whatever happened to the $3.75 BILLION from the sale of Bain? Where did that money go? We know he has a $100 million trust fund for his sons. Where's the rest of it?

THAT'S why Mitt doesn't want to release his tax returns.

redarmyzombie July 16, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Holy.
Fucking.
Shit.
O.o

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 1:28 am

Credit goes to HogeyeGrex for spotting this and calling it out.

BerkeleyBear July 17, 2012 at 12:19 am

Just guessing, but Bain's valuation was almost certainly bullshit (which would be fun to make him explain for other reasons). Although it is totally possible that he cashed out a hell of a lot more than 250 million – the disclosure form bands don't go high enough to know the exact numbers, and he's still getting tens of millions a year in carried interest a decade later, so who knows what he'd really be worth on a full calculation of assets?

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 1:30 am

I'm not sure exactly how that works out, but some of the value on a company's books are intangible assets, such as goodwill. Now, it is quite possible that the figure of $4 BN is not substantiated, and that Romney sold the company for much less, but how much less? And doesn't he have to explain to the SEC if there is too great a divergence between the claimed value of te company as stated in its filings, and the amount for which it is sold, which also has to be stated and attested to under oath?

SorosBot July 16, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Mittens just wants to hide some of his business expenses; in addition to the car elevator, he has claimed deductions for such purchases as:

-A volcanic island, with conversion to a fully equipped lair
-Several hundred fully armed henchman
-Robotic battle armor
-A giant orbital space laser
-A wife cloning project
-Search for all the world's deposits of kryptonite

bikerlaureate July 16, 2012 at 7:30 pm

It's his sharks that would have the frickin' lasers.

SmutBoffin July 16, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Don't forget the research lab dedicated to finding out a way to turn Romney into a real, live human being.

HogeyeGrex July 16, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Chief Engineer Geppetto?

Is that you?

TootsStansbury July 16, 2012 at 7:20 pm

The photo "why is this man smiling"? He is smiling in surprised delight at the first thrust of that sweet sweet Koch up his arse.

Dr. Nick Riviera July 16, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Hahahahah! Al Green made the Republicans take down their Obama ad because of copyright infringement!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIajeW6xPnI&fe

Blueb4sunrise July 16, 2012 at 7:25 pm

PERFECT.

BarackMyWorld July 16, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Even before this, Al Green was my all time favorite soul singer. This just makes him even more all-timier.

Self-Uploader July 16, 2012 at 7:35 pm

I suppose it's a good thing they had to take it down, and Al Green is my favorite Rev, and I'm not even a Christian, but I wish I'd seen it first.
(Also I was at the Apollo that night so everyone else can just suck it.)

emmelemm July 16, 2012 at 7:57 pm

I'MMA LET YOU FINISH, but Al Green is the greatest soul singer of all time. OF ALL TIME!

BoatOfVelociraptors July 17, 2012 at 12:30 am

No, The rev is NOT going to let Mitt finish!

TootsStansbury July 16, 2012 at 7:34 pm

This is so full of win.

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Isn't this about the 932nd time this campaign that some RethugliKlan has been slapped with copyright infringment charges? Are these guys stupid (that was a rhetorical question) or just sociopath crooks who don't give a shit (also a rhetorical question)?

Dr. Nick Riviera July 16, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Well, there are only so many situations you can fit "Cat Scratch Fever" into and Scott Baio doesn't sing (not that that has stopped Mitt Romney)

Generation[redacted] July 16, 2012 at 7:49 pm

♪ ♫ Charles in charge, of our days, and our nights ♪ ♫

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Too fucking hilarious! Oh holy quacking duckshit, I'm giddy with delight!

Callyson July 16, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Yes!

USA! USA!

rocktonsam July 16, 2012 at 7:58 pm

the Right Rev. Al Green, bitches

Blueb4sunrise July 16, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Just a guess [some of my best friends have to deal with copyright issues] but actually I think Rmoney could use the parody/critcism Fair Use thingy to justify the use since it is Barry's performance of the song that is the focus of the ad, just as Mitt's performance was in the previous ad.

BerkeleyBear July 16, 2012 at 8:58 pm

You'd really have to stretch fair use for that. There's no transformative element to the use, just a straight rip off. Best argument would be if you claimed the initial clip was too short to amount to a copyright violation, so there's none in the derivative use of it (akin to sampling arguments). Which Rev. Al apparently isn't buying.

Obama's advantage was that "America the Beautiful" is public domain.

Blueb4sunrise July 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Okay, I'll defer, but still wonder a little…

If Huck runs for something again, you're saying that a political opponent would have to get permission from whoever owns the rights to "Free Bird" to use this clip in an ad?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkeflmkFCj0&fe

Maybe it was some even crazier winger who didn't like the hint of satanic amplified music, and was using this as evidence of Huck's sinful ways.

BerkeleyBear July 17, 2012 at 12:38 am

They should. If you have works in a chain (A covers B covers C) you still have to go up the chain to get all rights, unless B got a blanket license not just to use C's original but to license others to use it, too. Because C has rights in any performance of the song as a default, not just the first person to copy it. It is part of what makes copyright so valuable – at least up to a point, you can really pick and choose who does what with your works. Although obviously in the age of YouTube and international piracy that ability has been diluted somewhat.

Now, I could see someone trying to make a First Amendment argument, on the grounds that the need to know Huck slaps the bass outweighs normal copyright protections. That is certainly what TV news outlets would argue if Al Green had challenged their use of the clip. But I think that would be pretty hard to argue in the context of a campaign commercial. There are plenty of ways to convey the horror of Huck rocking out without resorting to playing the actual performance.

starfanglednut July 16, 2012 at 10:06 pm

See, Hopey is verrry clever.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Goddammit, Rebecca, quit deleting my perfectly innocent comments. I have NEVER made an unacceptable comment since you laid down the rules. SHEEIT.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 16, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Wait … the Mormoney campaign tried to use Obama's performance in an ad? How is proving that the president can sing, and getting panties wet, supposed to help their cause?

Dr. Nick Riviera July 16, 2012 at 8:17 pm

He's coming for your white women!

ibwilliamsi July 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Yeah… :)

emmelemm July 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Release the chiffarobes!

Negropolis July 17, 2012 at 12:01 am

WIN

BerkeleyBear July 16, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Because, with a straight face they were claiming that he is only "in love" with big donors, not struggling people. Because some of Obama's bundlers (who he names as such, but Romney won't, other than registered lobbyists (who are barred from contributing to Obama by his policy)) got access and actually had their policy goals furthered. Because Romney isn't going to do anything to favor his anonymous fat cat donors – they plainly want nothing for their millions of dollars in support.

I cannot quite figure out how they managed to do this without at least smirking. That's some damn chutzpah.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

LOL … was this before or after the Billionaire's BBQ in the Hamptons?

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:57 pm

After, of course. It's insufficiently chutpahmatic if done *before.*

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 10:53 pm

If only the next Wonkette party could be a billionaire's barbeque. With no billionaires actually sitting at the dinner table.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:56 pm

It was a very badly done ad, so they really ought to be thanking the Rev. Al for saving them from themselves.

MissTaken July 16, 2012 at 8:23 pm

That just made my evening, thank you!

berkeleyfarm July 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

This life-long member of God's Frozen Peoples is smiling, nodding, and saying "Uh-huh, praise Jesus" like it's Sunday morning at the black Baptist church down the street!

(So he didn't pay the Rev. for his work, huh? Those Mormons, always trying to get more free stuff!)

Dashboard Buddha July 16, 2012 at 10:18 pm

No one puts the reverend in a corner.

redarmyzombie July 16, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Aaaaaahhhh…justice!

Buckminster July 17, 2012 at 12:09 am

Thank you, Mr. Green!

ASHLEIGH_Joe July 16, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Well, this is really his own fault: he's basically been running on being a super-smart millionaire businessman who knows about the economy (even though those two things have nothing to do with each other), but now apparently he doesn't want anybody else to talk about his business record or look too closely at the super-smart business strategies that made him his millions.

I mean, other than that, he doesn't have much to run on, other than being a reliable empty suit for far-right interests, right? He can't really mention that he used to be a governor, because of something that rhymes with Ad-hominemeycare.

BarackMyWorld July 16, 2012 at 7:31 pm

This is an exactly right point that will probably go over most people's heads.

va_real July 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Hominy Care? Does this have something to do with cheesy grits?

NellCote71 July 16, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Good catch.

mr bojangles July 16, 2012 at 7:25 pm

romney made hundreds of millions $$ on that fetus deal! 'who knew you could make a killing in fetuses!' romney guffawed! see schedule c of his 2001 form 1040.

Nostrildamus July 16, 2012 at 7:25 pm

What about the Eggman?

Nothingisamiss July 16, 2012 at 10:37 pm

I am the eggman. Well, I know the eggman.

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 10:56 pm

I have friends who own the naming rights to Eggman Stadium.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 17, 2012 at 12:37 am

Well, there was this blue hedgehog you see, and he was rather fleet on his fleet. Robotnik never stood a chance.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_Eggman

flamingpdog July 17, 2012 at 1:47 am

Dude, until I read your link, I never knew Dr. Robotnik was also known as Dr. Eggman. I spent a lot of hours playing Sonic Spinball and Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine with the pups when they were pups.

BarackMyWorld July 16, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Jason Linkins on the Bain "retroactive retirement" controversy:
Isn't being able to handle two big jobs at the same time one of the things you look for in a President, though? Surely we are not stupid enough to believe that running the Salt Lake City Olympics is a more Herculean task than running the country. I think that this whole, "Romney is innocent because he's a terrible multitasker" argument is not the best way Romney's surrogates could be defining him.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:14 am

A lot harder than they thought, apparently.

anniegetyerfun July 16, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Speaking of "cometh", I'll be you didn't realize that that is Romney's O face.

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 7:38 pm

I'm sorry, I am NOT scrolling back up to the top of the page, thank you very much.

Blueb4sunrise July 16, 2012 at 7:38 pm

and you know this………….ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh……….never mind…

ASHLEIGH_Joe July 16, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Oh ugh now I can never un-see it!!

Callyson July 16, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Glad I was not planning on having sex anytime soon…

PubOption July 16, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Romney should use the technique that Ernest Saunders used when his business dealings were questioned – claim he had Alzheimer's Disease at the time, but then recovered.

SheriffJoeBiden July 16, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Snarklessly, if you draw out the analogy between Romney's tax returns and the birth certificate, might Mitt be playing the same game that Obama was when he released his long-form right around the time of the bin Laden raid? Let your opponents hem and haw for a while, then say "Fine, here ya go" as a way of highlighting their unserious nature? That's the only alternative I can think of to the prevailing idea that Romney is a terrible politician with a disqualifying tax problem.

BlueStateLibel July 16, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Maybe, but it seem if you're running against an incumbent president, and the economy is weak, do you really want everyone's attention focused like a laser on your tax returns? I have a feeling that, aside from the investments in child sex rings, those tax returns are going show that Mitt and accountants took advantage of every little tax loophole under the sun, and it's going to disgust a lot of Americans.

NellCote71 July 16, 2012 at 9:51 pm

But Romney wants us to focus like a laser on jobs. So let's do that. Outsourced jobs, jobs lost to leveraged buy-outs, diminishing jobs in Massachusetts during a certain "job creator's" term.

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 8:32 pm

The big difference is that there is nothing interesting in a birth certificate. Maybe the hospital's name is misspelled? There is all sorts of stuff in a tax return as massive as Romney's is likely to be, that you can talk about.

Doktor Zoom July 17, 2012 at 2:43 am

Nothing interesting in a birth certificate? How about the fact that it's from Booga-Booga Memorial Hospital in Bone-Thru-The-Nose KENYA?

Also, birthers are not racist. It's not their fault the President is a wog.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 8:33 pm

I just don't see him being that confident or assured or strategically-minded. So far, he has been reacting, not acting, all along. He's clumsy and stupid, and Obama is dancing circles around him effortlessly. He's already lost this election. Take a look at what his campaign has released in response to Obama's. Oh, wait, you can't, it got yanked for copyright violations!

Nothingisamiss July 16, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Mittborg, you do give me hope.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Thank you, sweetie. (Hugs NothingisAmiss) We're all in this together, till it's over.

Chet Kincaid July 16, 2012 at 10:51 pm

The guy is not stupid. We assume all Republicans are stupid; they aren't. (oh God, not that I want to get into a long discussion of the nature of Mitt's dysfunction. But it's not about intelligence.)

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 11:29 pm

It's not that he's stupid about things that require some intellectual ability. It's that he's stupid about how human beings work.

redarmyzombie July 16, 2012 at 11:34 pm

A problem most sociopaths contend with.

SayItWithWookies July 16, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Then HEEZ DOIN IT RONG. When Barack Obama was a mere candidate he had a US passport, had had to prove his citizenship in order to go to college, get various jobs, pay taxes, and even get a government paycheck (in fact I'll bet he had to fill out a W4 when he became president). So the birfers' premise was idiotic to begin with, and everyone but them knew it.

Mitt, on the other hand, has made public 22 fewer years of tax returns than he gave to John McCain's campaign when being vetted for his VP. Thus he's the one who looks like he's trying to hide something — so why he'd try to play it up is odd.

Not that I'm saying Mitt's campaign isn't completely tone-deaf — they could be. But it's hard to play that as a net positive either.

BerkeleyBear July 16, 2012 at 11:51 pm

I keep trying to write a nuanced reply and it keeps getting eaten by the admin. The difference is Obama's team tried to cut off the birthers early on and took extraordinary measures to do so (releasing COLB, getting statements on record from state officials about the original docs, getting Congress to pass a resolution about his birth). It was enough to scare McCain from embracing the attack, and the long form only got dropped when Trump tried to take it from fringe attack to national spotlight. By comparison, Romney is refusing to take basic countermeasures in response to a direct hit, instead trying to change the subject. That would make any subsequent hit back awkward and weak, even if it was factual – which is a huge if.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:08 am

I do bleev you done nailed it, BerkeleyBear.

And methinks we need to have a word with the Editrix about this ludicrously tight-arsed admin script. It's eating things it has no business eating.

flamingpdog July 17, 2012 at 1:52 am

Silly boy, it's OBAMA's fault!

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 2:21 am

What, the SCRIPT? Dude, put down the bong. (Puts down bong)

Negropolis July 17, 2012 at 12:29 am

Except that this tax filings in no way don't have something incriminating in them. Not one chance. There was absolutely nothing incriminating about the birth certificate. Romney's problem is so many more times complicated. I don't even think he fully knows what he owns and where all of his money is. He has people to do that.

You don't have that many investments and that much money and that many tentacles reaching into everything and there not be something at least embarrassing about it.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 7:41 pm

This is wonderful. POTUS couldn't have asked for better. He'll keep refusing to release, and the outcry will grow louder and louder and when he loses in November, he'll blame all the sycophants and yes-men he surrounds himself with to keep insulated from the hoi polloi.

fuflans July 16, 2012 at 7:42 pm

gross. that picture is gross.

he looks like a donkey, braying, which is odd for a republican.

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 8:41 pm

More even than gross, it's weird. As if he's making a desperate effort to seem to be letting off a hearty laugh, but it's beginning to be overwhelmed by something else: dread that a mistake has just been made? Uncertainty about what will look natural? Sudden realization that what he thought was hot chocolate was actually a powerful laxative?

It's as if the camera caught someone at a moment of transition: a man laughing with genuine amusement who suddenly sees a pack of hundreds of wolves rushing toward him with rabid eyes.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Chich … you do realize, don't you, that some of us have … very *active* imaginaAAAAARGHHHHH!!!

starfanglednut July 16, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Dammit! Now I have to scroll back to the top of the page!

Chet Kincaid July 16, 2012 at 10:37 pm

On the Mittens campaign bus, they call that "breakfast."

James Michael Curley July 17, 2012 at 5:35 am

The Diane Arbus look.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 3:30 pm

OMG, dude. That actually even *looks* like Romney.

James Michael Curley July 17, 2012 at 3:52 pm

You should see Anderson Cooper’s baby picture – as done by Diane Arbus.

Fox n Fiends July 16, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Dear Romney Campaign,

I vote. Its resonating.

theshasta1 July 16, 2012 at 7:59 pm

I can only imagine how bad it could be. It could be a lower than 15% tax rate, maybe 10%, possibly 0%. It be great if “ROMNEY GOT A BAILOUT!”

NellCote71 July 16, 2012 at 9:55 pm

You are getting warmer, warmer. But I underestimate Amerika. I was already outraged about the less than 15%. If only I could live off my investments, gutted in 2008, thank you very much, and just pay 15%.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 16, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Too bad the Nebraska delegate issue was settled in quiet rooms … the folks at the Tampa GOPfest might be wishing they had a second candidate on the ballot after all.

theshasta1 July 16, 2012 at 8:01 pm

“ROMNEY GOT A BAILOUT!”

owhatever July 16, 2012 at 8:03 pm

I have complied with all relative Cayman Island law. That law says you cannot behead roosters to the sound of conga drums on Thursdays, between the hours of 5 and 6 a.m.

HogeyeGrex July 16, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Well, let's see. How much do you think he'd get for selling out of being the sole stockholder of Bain, which was worth about $4 billion at the time?

I going to say… A Fucking Lot. A Huge, Ginormous, Absurd Fucking Lot.

He would have been paid said Huge Fucking Lot sometime between 1999 and 2002, I suppose. Who wants to guess how much Mr. Smug Unaccountable there claimed on his taxes?

I'm going to say… A Lot. Rather A Great Lot, even, but nowhere near A Huge Fucking Lot.

I think the details of his buyout and where that money went is as interesting as a few tax returns. From sole owner of a $4B company to ~$200M claimed net worth? Either something is seriously fishy there or he's not much of a financial Geeeenius.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 16, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Geeenius? This is a guy who put $100 mil into an IRA, on which he will have to pay ordinary income tax — no 15% special rate, even on the capital gains and dividends. (That's assuming he doesn't get a chance to change the tax laws…)

But yeah, what happened to the several billion that Bain was worth, when he owned it outright, is a reeeeally interesting question.

NellCote71 July 16, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Let us see Ann's returns. Too. Also.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 10:01 pm

I want to thank you very much for pointing this out. I couldn't remember who wrote it, so I failed to attribute and give credit where credit was due. Apologies.

HogeyeGrex July 17, 2012 at 2:59 am

You're welcome. No worries. I just hope the question gets the attention it deserves.

Spread it far and wide. And get the word out on that Romney thing, too.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 3:07 am

Thank you.

Oh, you betcha. Most people don't want to think long enough to understand all the Bain and tax return issues. But even an idiot can look at these numbers and tell that something ain't right.

imissopus July 16, 2012 at 8:14 pm

The Romney campaign believes the issue of Romney’s returns isn’t resonating with voters as much as the Obama campaign would like…

Maybe not, but you add it to some of the other issues and a narrative of Romney as a rich, out-of-touch empty suit who stashed his millions in the same offshore tax haven where the mobbed-up lawyers in The Firm were hiding the Mafia's money emerges, and that ain't a pretty picture.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 16, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Like an empty barrel put over the voters' heads, and hammered on with a baseball bat, it's resonating.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 10:01 pm

It's resonating WAY more than the Romney camp thinks it is.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 17, 2012 at 12:44 am

And Obama is having way too much fun to put down the bat any time soon.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:57 am

It makes me want to giggle like a Florida Lt. Governor.

mavenmaven July 16, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Wait for the new Fox news talking point: Abolish the IRS!

berkeleyfarm July 17, 2012 at 12:43 am

I was thinking more Rmoney pandering to the base about how the melanin-enhanced folks were picking on him again.

Doktor Zoom July 16, 2012 at 8:55 pm

How is babby incinerated? How Bain maek profit?

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:58 am

Hey, Dok. I left a comment over on the site for ya. I hope you don't mind, but I also tweeted it to some friends, in case anyone's feeling loaded down with munniez.

Doktor Zoom July 17, 2012 at 2:59 am

Golly, I sure would be horribly upset if someone did something to promote my begging site to potential donors! :-)

Yer a good egg. THANKS!!!!

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 3:02 am

I care, you know that. I just wish I had MOAR, dood.

W88 July 16, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Someone in the Romney camp needs to tell Willard that both McCain and Kerry lost the election.

HogeyeGrex July 17, 2012 at 3:01 am

Shhhhhhhhh!

ibwilliamsi July 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Where's Barb?

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 10:03 pm

She's got visitors from out of town, and she's very busy taking care of them. Family's fine, kids and grandkids are fine, she's just saddled with visitors. Should be back any day now.

Barb July 17, 2012 at 12:43 am

I give you a thumbs up ibewilliam for noticing that I was away, lol.
I will keep Twitter and Wonkette open and I will think of some Whitney Houston sond that will be "ours."
What the fuck! Is that an avatar from Ab Fab? You are my new best friend.

CalamityJames July 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

There's a good reason that the Lord High Hair-gel's campaign can attack Obummer for his cronyism, and that reason is that Obummer released the names of his bundlers. You're welcome.

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Ben oui, but I think this may be a bit of looking ahead by the Obama people.

[It's possible to go overboard on the "11-dimensional chess" idea but I think this is one case where it's appropriate.]

Obama's people expected Romney to hold out on the tax returns – he's been doing it for so long, plus the political campaign world is a small one, and leaky. Maybe they heard things ultimately tracing back to the McCain camp about what they found in the two decades of tax returns Mitt gave them. But anyway, they expected him to stonewall, and so he'd look like he was hiding something.

Put the issue of donors in play, releasing donors' names and so inviting the Romnoids to make it an issue, allows them to counter-attack and reinforce the impression that Romney is a man who has a lot of things he wants to hide.

bobbert July 16, 2012 at 10:43 pm

I think it is very unlikely that Rmoney's history, even if we see it somewhat fully, will actually contain significant illegalities. I'm sure he has very good tax lawyers. What I suspect his history would show, if fully revealed, is relentless and inventive use of every loophole and bit of bleeding-edge financial hocus pocus ever created. He is pretty much forced to stonewall, because his whole brand identity (invalid though it may be) is that he has been a successful "businessman". Each revelation that his great wealth has come not from "business", but from financial engineering, is going to erode some of his support among, say, those people whose IRAs and 401(k)s haven't been doing so swell recently.

I don't even think this is particularly multi-dimensional, but it is being very well executed so far. And, as you point out, releasing the Obama bundlers' identities enhances the contrast between the relative transparency of the Obama campaign and the secretiveness of Rmoney. There is a slight risk, but unless Obama has some really bad quids we don't know about yet, I don't think the crony capitalism attack will gain much traction.

CalamityJames July 16, 2012 at 11:51 pm

…yeah, and he has a small wiener. Butt secks.

BerkeleyBear July 17, 2012 at 12:00 am

Oh, I'm all but certain that Romney didn't do anything knowingly illegal, and his tax advisers have the written opinion letters (*bullshit* cough cough) to prove it. At the same time, I'm guessing there's enough shuffling and sorting and leveraging and other exceptionally cute behavior that normal folks have no idea goes on and the very wealthy want to make sure normal folks don't know about that all the networks (other than Fox) could spend a month doing specials on it.

The nadir in my own limited experience was when, because of a series of reorganizations for tax purposes, the witness I was defending at a deposition honestly didn't know who he worked for anymore. The org chart for the company by then looked like the graph explaining a series of chemical reactions in complex molecules, it was so messed up. But it saved the company from paying state income tax in 49 states and DC (or so their tax people thought at the time) so it was worth it.

Chichikovovich July 17, 2012 at 8:19 am

Oh, I'm sure there's nothing strictly illegal. As you say, he's got plenty of very good lawyers. He's a Harvard Law grad himself. But also, as you note there's no doubt lots of stuff that exposes the side of American mega-bucks capitalism that look really bad Also, there are things that 0.001% 'ers would prefer not to see discussed except in "quiet rooms" and I expect there are lots of them. Some year when he paid an effective 5% or 3% or even 0% in taxes, for example? (Especially embarrassing given the relentless Fox news drumbeat about "The 47% [or whatever] of Americans who pay no taxes!! Have no skin in the game! blah blah") Or maybe it will document cases where he earned millions from a company that was being looted into bankruptcy. Stuff like that.

Also, any enterprise that huge is going to have a lot of connections. We've already heard about the medical waste disposal company [Murdered baby burners!!]. Remember that we are dealing with one-note obsessives who don't just want to shut down Planned Parenthood – they want to shut down any charity that so much as participates in a single event that has Planned Parenthood as one of many co-sponsors. If that's how distant a connection can be and still be trouble, then Mitt's business dealings are sure to reveal many, many of those.

Chet Kincaid July 17, 2012 at 9:02 am

Mittens' counter-attack to the Obama ad has zero traction, because the identity of Obama's donors is not a big issue with anybody — barely even with the hardcore haters. The identity of Mitt's donors, however, plays into the perception of who Mitt is and which class of overfed sharks his policies support. So Mitt counter-attacked with a vulnerability, because he hasn't disclosed his own bundlers. You really wonder if he is even trying to win this thing.

Limeylizzie July 16, 2012 at 10:11 pm

OT Hey Wonkette close friends, the neurologist thinks Jack did NOT have a stroke but rather an episode
of Transient global amnesia , which sounds exactly right as he cannot remember last week, I am lucky he remembers me! So, they are doing more tests to rule out seizures and any potentially stroke-like things, but he says it is very unlikely that this will happen again, it can be caused by , and I quote," excessive exercising, including sexual intercourse". It's all my fault!

Nothingisamiss July 16, 2012 at 10:44 pm

I see people with TGA, and it's very frightening. I'm sure you've beeen worried, and I'm glad he'll be ok.

What I did not know is that it can be caused by high intensity sex.

Maybe you should be the nazi guard next time?

Limeylizzie July 16, 2012 at 10:57 pm

I was terrified , he left these messages that were so troubling he kept saying “I don't know why I am here, I don't know what I am doing' but he knew enough to call me and he sounded lucid, not having any speech problems. it was so crazy and I was in NYC and he is in LA, but he couldn't remember taking me to the airport and he has basically lost the last week and a half. I called LAPD and they did a wellness check but he wouldn't let the Para-medics in so we had to get a friend to take him to the hospital. It's my birthday on Wednesday btw, so what a great excuse he has! Is this common, TGA? Are you a doctor/nurse?

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Er … OK, my timing sucks, but Happy Birfday, Lizzie.

Limeylizzie July 16, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Thanks darling

Barb July 17, 2012 at 3:00 am

Sister of mine, this was the post that caused me to snap out of my strange feeling of duty to my unwanted out-of-town house guests and come back to you. You have my email address and my phone number and you have my undivided attention on Twitter.

Elizabeth, my heart is always with you. It is now past midnight and I wish you Happy Birthday! You dazzle me more than the brightest star in the sky. I appreciate you for your talents, your compassion, your brilliance, and your humor. You are my heart, thank you for being you. You are a rose among the thorns.

bobbert July 16, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Wow. You can fuck your brains out?

Glad to hear all is (relatively) well.

Limeylizzie July 16, 2012 at 10:54 pm

I am awesomeness in the sheets! It can also be caused by statins, he is on them, and by depression, he has just quit smoking and has been very anxious and depressed but I am going with the 'I fucked him into oblivion” cause.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Get him a vape and some weed. That way, neither of you will freak when he has some meory problems, it'll lift his depression and anxiety, and he'll enjoy sex just as much, if not more.

va_real July 16, 2012 at 11:44 pm

I'm glad he's better now. There is some research that CoQ10 can protect you from the mitochondrial damage statins can do. Fish oil also seems to be anti-inflammatory/ neuroprotective/ anti-depressive, especially the EPA factor. You may want to ask his doctor?

Happy early birthday!

Extemporanus July 17, 2012 at 3:38 am

Statin sheets have caused me to slip up a few times, too.

James Michael Curley July 17, 2012 at 5:58 am

Ask the doctor about a sonogram of the carotid arteries as dislodged atherosclerotic plaque can cause a type of mini-stroke usually called transient ischemic attack marked as different from the usual mini-stroke as not causing permanent damage. Key word here is statins, not as a cause but he is taking them because he has high cholesterol. Carotid artery atherosclerotic cholesterol is very easy to diagnose and treat. Does or did he smoke?

Limeylizzie July 17, 2012 at 6:38 am

He has been on statins for years and he quit smoking about 3 months ago, I will ask him to ask the doctor about the sonogram, he is in Cedars-Sinai in LA and they are pretty good there.They are doing more tests this morning, so they can add that to the list but the neurologist really was pretty sure it was TGA.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 17, 2012 at 12:52 am

Best sex of your life — and then you can't remember it?
I know life is unfair, but really … that's just not right.

SayItWithWookies July 16, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Hey, glad it might be a one-off. I've had a couple of neurological problems which apparently aren't much, but it's frightening to think there's something wrong with one's or one's loved one's brain.

That said, cut it out with the excessive intercourse thing, dammit — some of us figure if you've gotta go, that's one of the best ways, and we don't want our sweetheart getting the wrong idea, okay?

Blueb4sunrise July 16, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Good to hear.

Hmmm, global transient amnesia. Have to remember that.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 17, 2012 at 12:53 am

I think I saw what you did there.

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Finally, something bad that's NOT Obama's fault!

Limeylizzie July 16, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Win.

Doktor Zoom July 17, 2012 at 2:41 am

Just wait until Fox reports it: "Immigrant Sex Fiend Causes Medical Problems for Job Creator Spouse, OBAMACARE FAILS TO HELP HIM"

Chichikovovich July 17, 2012 at 6:08 am

I'm not so sure. That Al Green video is said to have put many women in the mood. Many times.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 11:14 pm

OHMYFUCKINGGOD WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Your husband had a stroke? Jesus!

It is not all your fault. Please be OK, both of you. (Swears off sex for life)

Limeylizzie July 16, 2012 at 11:21 pm

It was madness! Just go through all my comments for the day, looks like it wasn't a stroke, but this kind of temporary but total amnesia, he has no memory at all of the last week and when it is happening you cannot remember what happened immediately prior to what you are doing now, it lasted about 8 hours.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Dear god. Will do. Best to Jack, and to you too.

BerkeleyBear July 17, 2012 at 12:06 am

That would be terrifying. There's nothing worse than having something bad happen to a loved one and being unable to be there. Glad to hear it may be treatable and/or a one off, and that he had friends to help him.

Oh, and happy birthday.

berkeleyfarm July 17, 2012 at 12:45 am

Didn't see the original … that's super scary. Thankful that it appears to be working out. Keeping you in my thoughts!

Steverino247 July 17, 2012 at 1:44 am

A guy on my high school football team got hit in the head so hard all he could remember was his girlfriend's measurements. Glad to hear Pussy Galore is a medical excuse. Very glad he's OK!

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 2:24 am

OK, I read it all. Geesh. I'm so glad he's OK. I take it you're back home with him now?

Best to you both. Here's hoping everything works out fine for him, and please let him know that I hold him directly responsible for my now-nonexistant sex life.

Doktor Zoom July 17, 2012 at 2:36 am

Jesus Lizzie, so sorry to hear that it happened at all, and relieved that the prognosis is relatively upbeat! Sending good hopeful secularist thoughts your way!

radio-of-owls July 17, 2012 at 2:39 am

I suppose it would be inappropriate at this juncture to re-state my eternally dirty thoughts about you, mon amour. We'll just put that back in the file cabinet under S for soif insatiable for now.

Seriously, I'm glad things appear to have worked out. In the event that you need a test subject for any experiments involving the Fucked Him Into Oblivion Hypothesis, do drop me a line old thing.

whirrr whirrr

Extemporanus July 17, 2012 at 3:20 am

Lizzie, as someone who's own synapses short circuit disconcertingly often — asymptomatic anomic-like aphasia is a wordsmith's worst fiend — I sincerely wish you're husband nothing butt the breast.

Chichikovovich July 17, 2012 at 6:35 am

Hi Lizzie – I missed the posts on this – what a terrible experience for both of you, and thank heavens it doesn't appear to be what it first appeared to be. Like all of us here, I send my love to you and LimeyJack, and hope that from now on the course of true love runs smooth.

I had been a heavy smoker when I quit smoking 25 years ago, and I had several occasions when I lost brief chunks of memory. Nothing as serious as this, and no accompanying disorientation, but similar. And there have been no discernable permanent effects.

(I'm not a doctor, of course, and this one vague anecdote has no real scientific weight, but perhaps it can be comforting to know that things like this can happen without lasting traces.)

Limeylizzie July 17, 2012 at 6:56 am

Thanks Chichikovich , it was a very , very frightening day, especially for Jack , he was in LA and I came back to NY on Sunday, so I wasn't even there when it happened, not sure what I could have done much differently as it appears he went driving in the middle of the night for about 6 hours, he did call me a few times and leave messages and I listened to them on Monday when I woke up and called LAPD as he was obviously disorientated.Anyway, we now await all the test results to rule out anything else, but the neurologist seemed pretty certain it was this Transient Global Amnesia. Jack, who is an artist, was actually quite excited about doing a series of paintings about it!

Chichikovovich July 17, 2012 at 7:39 am

Yes, there is that positive dimension to be sure. For an artist who strives to give voice and images to human experience, this kind of glimpse can be a revelation. I'm sure that the artwork that comes out of this will be spectacular.

[When I was a li'l shaver I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. A crummy book in all sorts of ways, but it does have some breathtaking first-person descriptions of inner experiences. The author Persig had undergone electroshock therapy for depression, in the days when the treatment was especially crude, and it left him missing huge chunks of memory. There is a breathtaking passage describing a moment when due to some tri_gger a significant block of remembrances tumbled into place. All those parts of his past suddenly, in a flash, alive for him again. And though I didn't minimize the awfulness of the electroshock, and the depression, and the memory loss, I was jealous of him for having had that experience that I could only imagine through a glass darkly.]

LagunaB July 17, 2012 at 11:11 pm

I also read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and my take was different. I lost the memory of an afternoon for 28 years. It took 5 years to retrieve. The process changed every molecule in my body, all past relationships (I no longer talk to my family) and is something I would not wish on anyone. The few people I tell, call me strong, courageous, etc. Most just can't comprehend so I never talk about it. You don't want to go through something like that. Be thankful you haven't had to.

Troubledog July 16, 2012 at 10:16 pm

C'mon now, people, it's not like they want his birth certificate or anything.

Dashboard Buddha July 16, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Ya'll have probably already seen this
http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/320412

But I larfed.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:27 am

That was so wonderful I just tweeted it to the WHOLE WORLD.

Negropolis July 16, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Hell, they've been asking for Obama's birth certificate for years. Turnabout is fair play. Show us your long-form tax filings you vacillating, two-faced, ethically-compromised anchor baby bastard.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 11:21 pm

That is a simply delightful and satisfying string of expletives. Kudos, dude.

lizunyan July 16, 2012 at 11:21 pm

holy shit guys, i saw this thing on the internet about mitt romney's tax returns… that sex trafficking thing might really be true… http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7abrw9APz1rbwu

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Nice work. He's taking money from Sheldon Adelson, who certainly knows all about sex trafficking.

Negropolis July 16, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Release more tax returns? He's running for president for pete's sake!

Negropolis July 16, 2012 at 11:47 pm

BTW, isn't it just awesome that the central villain in the block-busting Batman movie coming out in a few days is Bane? It's just too perfect.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:29 am

It's … (gasp) almost as if they … PLANNED it!!

Chet Kincaid July 17, 2012 at 10:56 am

It's not going to be spun that way by rightwing reviewers. Bane and his mob represent Occupy, Bruce Wayne represents the Noble 1%. The only question is which dickhead pundit publishes this drivel first.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:30 pm

We'll see, Chet. I think the punches Prez O landed on Mitt haven't completed their work.

Negropolis July 17, 2012 at 10:35 pm

After I made that comment, I see it's become an issue, today, with rightwingers seeming to view the movie as some conspiracy to get Obama elected. lol That they are whining shows that they are losing.

redarmyzombie July 16, 2012 at 11:55 pm

Hey guys, did you hear? Romney got a government bailout and used the proceeds to fund his child slavery operation in the Bahamas!

(this is waaaay too much fun!)

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 3:45 pm

*You're* certainly having way too much fun with it! (Hugs the girl)

redarmyzombie July 17, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Guy. I have dangly bits. But don't worry, people make that mistake ALL the time.
(my dad mistook me for my mother over the phone)

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 4:47 pm

(Hugs the sweet guy) Sorry, sweetie. You're so *nice,* it's hard to believe you're a dude.

redarmyzombie July 18, 2012 at 4:47 am

Thanks MittBorg! I credit my friends, and my parents who escaped from the Jehovah's Witnesses (nasty group, that one is)

I should also add, that even though it's hard to truly get my moxie up, I can be a real *BITCH* when need be.

johnnyzhivago July 17, 2012 at 12:05 am

I've retroactively come up with every comment on this thread. So give me all of your whore points, right now.

johnnyzhivago July 17, 2012 at 12:06 am

I was really surprised to see Soylent Green Body Disposal Services and the Darwin Land Amusement Parks as two of the companies Bain Capital bought out in 2001!

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:32 am

You're kidding, right? RIGHT?

Steverino247 July 17, 2012 at 1:46 am

Soylent Green is people of the right height retroactively consumed and…fuck it. I'm going to bed.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 2:23 am

G'night, dude.

Steverino247 July 17, 2012 at 9:42 am

Fuck! It's morning already….

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Geezus, I just can't keep up with you young sprouts.

lulzmonger July 17, 2012 at 12:08 am

Tax returns are the Völkischer Beobachters of Liberal Fashionism.

johnnyzhivago July 17, 2012 at 12:13 am

Makes me wish I had gone ahead with Bain Capital on my plan to market microwavable Lindsay's Original Carolina Ham Biscuits.

Barb July 17, 2012 at 12:13 am

Jesus, tap dancing, Christ! I leave you bitches alone for one minute and you manage to have fun without me. That's a demerit for all of you. Now I have to leave Twitter and Wonkette opened on my computer or I will show up in bell bottom jeans on the first day of school and you will all have skinny jeans on.

Trust me, the "whale tail" of my thong looks crazy with bell bottoms, I'm just sayin'. The tube top will always remain a classic though.

redarmyzombie July 17, 2012 at 12:16 am

BARB! We missed you.!

Barb July 17, 2012 at 12:24 am

HoneyBunchesOf Oats, I missed you too. Someone emailed me and mentioned your name and I felt like crying.
I'm on vacation and I am being held hostage by out-of-town, unannounced family member visitors and I am in HELL.
Love you, Red Army.

redarmyzombie July 17, 2012 at 12:40 am

I feel thy pain, Barb. I wish you luck with the guests (or freeloaders, depending how much you like them) It was probably MittBorg that mentioned me, he was giving us a heads-up to how you were doing (By the by, I'm sooo glad it was family visiting and not something more serious!). Anyhoo, I hope you get to enjoy that vacation. Let us know how it goes!

Love ya too!(and Jeffers, of course)

Barb July 17, 2012 at 12:52 am

Baby Mina is home with Crickette (I call her that because she bugs the shit out of her sister, not out of some whitey nickname for "Christine.")

I'm going to spend the next seven days of Jeff's vacation doing what I want to do and not worrying about what anyone thinks of me. Twitter and Wonkette is open and I am going to do what makes me happy.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:33 am

HEY! How did YOU sneak in here?

Barb July 17, 2012 at 1:07 am

Hobbes, did you think I wouldn't crack from the pressure? Hi, I am "Perfect Barbie" and I never surf the web and act like a chimp? I can't pretend that I don't swear and that I don't smoke and that I don't have a completely made up case of glaucoma. I slam Diet Pepsi and coffee in the morning and I take allergy pills to sleep. I pretend to have a "hops and barley deficient diet" to excuse my love of a good oats soda.

I dance like an epileptic and I am shamelessly, madly in love with my husband. I'm pretty sure that my left breast is beating my right breast in the race to my belly button.

I really hate surprise visitors.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 1:43 am

Damn, it's good to have you back. I just wish ID wouldn't force me to scroll through two fucking pages to see your comments.

Go for it, Calvin. Burn the whole fucking house down.

Jeffer July 17, 2012 at 3:06 am

I love you honey!

Callyson July 17, 2012 at 1:42 am

Good to see you back…I was wondering what was up. Glad to hear Mina is at home too.

And T=the visitors will be gone long before the lulz over the election go away, so hang in there…

Barb July 17, 2012 at 2:35 am

Callyson, you make my heart smile, thanks!
Chrissy wrote this cool email about Mina's surgeon:

Dr. Christian Pizarro, Cardiothoracic surgeon and director of the Nemours Cardiac Center, Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children
Countries visited: Chile, Peru, Argentina and Mexico

Pediatric heart surgery had never before been done in Arequipa, Peru, before Dr. Christian Pizarro arrived last January as part of a humanitarian mission.
By the time he left 10 days later, 16 children had been operated on to treat problems ranging from septal defects — sometimes called a hole in the heart — to more complicated cases like tetralogy of Fallot, a rare but life-threatening congenital problem made up of four separate heart defects.
Pizarro, who was born in Chile and attended medical school there, wanted to help as many children as he could on the mission. But it was just as important to him to teach local surgeons how to perform some of the procedures themselves.
So while Pizarro took the lead in most of the surgeries — including three he did as soon as he got off the plane — he made sure the local surgeons were there to assist. Eventually, they were the ones performing heart surgery, with Pizarro walking them through the delicate process.
"We train these native physicians so there is someone local who can help," said Pizarro, who volunteered for the trip as part of Hearts with Hope, a foundation aiming to teach Latin American medical professionals how to treat and care for children with heart problems.
"The goal is to leave something in place," he said.
_________________________________
This is the man I would vote for for POTUS. Men and women like this should be leading this country and every country of the world.

BerkeleyBear July 17, 2012 at 5:27 am

While I understand the sentiment, tread lightly there, Barb. My father in law runs an amazing non-governmental training for medical repair techs (he's repeatedly been the first guy to offer a decent training course in various places like Ghana, India and Haiti). Great guy, great ethics, but about the last guy I'd want trying to deal with government issues – he wouldn't last a week without getting fed up and walking off. Plus, he couldn't do his job.

James Michael Curley July 17, 2012 at 6:22 am

Tube tops are fine unless they are reminiscent of an empty Crest tube.

bobbert July 17, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Good to hear from you. Your abrupt departure on Friday had us all a little worried.

Even the worst house-guests have to leave sometime.

Extemporanus July 17, 2012 at 2:55 am

I just retroactively enlarged my p-ness in under three days!

And now, by following my proven upfist generating system of extortion, numerology, and Polaroids, you can too!

It's simple, shameless, and shockingly effective. Ask me how…today!

Masturbators are standing by…

va_real July 17, 2012 at 3:07 am

Willard?

Extemporanus July 17, 2012 at 5:12 am

No, though I do keep the bulk of my p-ness in an off-whore account.

bobbert July 17, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Do cunningly shaped skipping stones figure into this system?

midnighttoker69 July 17, 2012 at 4:16 am

So do I understand this correctly? "Credible sources" claim that Romney is hiding his tax returns in an elaborate conspiracy to hide the fact that he has, for years, been involved with child pornography/sex trafficking? I must immediately post this info to every website I can. The world must know the truth.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 17, 2012 at 4:56 am

You know, I read that on the internet just today. These rumours are swirling and there's no smoke without a child-trafficking ring.

randcoolcatdaddy July 17, 2012 at 6:22 am

This is good news for Sarah Palin's ego.

DahBoner July 17, 2012 at 7:37 am

Government don't know nothing about unborn baby disposal!

That's why we need someone with business experience, like Hitler….

ibwilliamsi July 17, 2012 at 9:39 am

Bam!

sewollef July 17, 2012 at 8:59 am

It also seems that Bloomberg View [the magazine/company] has bitch-slapped Rmoney too.

Hence this headline: Romney’s Bain Yielded Private Gains, Socialized Losses.

It's brutal. Referencing Romney's tenure at Bain throughout the 90's where he sacrificed company after company while reaping massive fees and bonuses. Made an all the more exciting read because it's Bloomberg. Yowsa!

Mumbletypeg July 17, 2012 at 9:26 am

Thank you for this!

"Forty-to-one leverage is 'casino capitalism' that hugely magnifies gains and losses…"

Exactly~

Chet Kincaid July 17, 2012 at 10:22 am

This was going to be a reply to Mittborg on the issue of Romney's intelligence, but I'll pull it out of that thread in hopes of getting it in before the caravan moves on.

My take on Romney: He is a smart, privileged, guy born with zero obstacles to a great life, and so he hasn't had to develop the sincerity of core principles, the way his father appears to have done. He is, deep-down, an asshole, struggling with the desire to be well-liked and to be perceived as the square-headed good guy cutout he looks like. Profit has always over-ruled concern for the common good in his business life, and ambition has over-ruled the idea having a consistent core in his political life.

Usually, religion provides at least a semblance of moral conviction for a politician, but it doesn't appear that Mormonism is anything but the expected social norm for Mitt, which he dutifully supports with his excess largesse. His "assholism" might actually be a reaction against being stuck in that culture. He knows that Mormonism is looked at as Anti-Christian by his current would-be Base, as little better than Scientology by the intelligentsia, and plain weird by everyone else. So he can't strike the religious poses other candidates can — in fact he is in panic and dread of ever discussing Mormonism at all.

The only expression of some kind of noblesse oblige that he can point to is running the Winter Olympics, because talking about his duties as a Mormon bishop is political death. But really, who cares about that? The Olympics are an orgy of corporate marketing opportunities, not the great patriotic crusade he would like them to be. They benefit a few athletes and a lot of conglomerates. So his involvement reinforces his soullessness. A mope like W. Bush at least had the fig leaf of lame, stay-at-home military service.

Now, his ambition is suffering the consequences of his decisions, behavior, background and career. And I would guess that he is being advised by people who don't have consistent core convictions either — why would someone with strong principles want to work for him? So the entire campaign apparatus flounders in poor decisions and inept responses because of the traps the candidate has put them in. And he knows it — that's why he has had that insincere, panicked expression on his face for months.

Billmatic July 17, 2012 at 10:48 am

Romney really reminds me of John Kerry in a lot of ways. This presidential cycle should be a slam dunk with the right candidate but they're stuck with this milquetoast fraud. I think it's for different reasons of course, Kerry wasn't always as privileged as he is now.

Anyway, I think Romney's handlers are doing their best in a political climate where they can wave flags around and scream lunacy to inflame the teabags but they're wary of doing so because it'll cost them the election. Plus they have a milquetoast fraud that almost nobody in his own party wanted during the primary. I mean I just don't really ever see this guy being electable unless it comes out tomorrow that Obama actually is a secret terrorist from Kenya with an underground lair.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:35 pm

John Kerry was, and is, an essentially decent uptight east-coaster. He did a lot of things that required courage, including serving in VN and speaking out against the war later. While he also comes from the privileged class, and lacks the ability to connect, he's not a conniving, two-faced, lying sod, unlike Romney.

But I think you're spot-on about Romney and his handlers.

Negropolis July 17, 2012 at 10:40 pm

I think the Kerry-Romney comparisons are skin deep. The campaigns and situations are similar, but they are two totally different people. To me, Kerry volunteering to go to 'Nam (blows my mind) is where they completely diverge, in my mind.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Brilliant, as always, Chet. Thanks. May I use this? I will, of course, attribute.

Chet Kincaid July 17, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Oh, OK. Stop trying to disarm me with niceness!

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Oh, you know you love me, quit kvetching.

va_real July 17, 2012 at 4:00 pm

I agree with what you say here, but as I learn a little more about his wife, I feel that in many ways she is the reason he's in public life. She is extremely ambitious & a politician's daughter as well as politician's daughter-in-law. She made a foray into local politics herself, but after a few bad stumbles (such as an interview when she talked of being 'poor' when she & Mittens 1st got married), I think she decided her ambition needed a proxy so she wouldn't be in the hot seat herself. And if there's one single quality that her husband possesses, I'd have to say it's malleability…

Negropolis July 17, 2012 at 10:42 pm

I don't know. It's always been the story that Romney got into politics to suceed where his father failed. This is not even to mention that Romney's mother ran for office here in Michigan and was roundly defeated in a Republican primary because she was simply seen as an extension of George. I really don't think it's Ann that has to push him to politics. I think this is his natural setting.

va_real July 18, 2012 at 12:39 am

Politics is his natural setting in the sense that he & Ann both grew up with it. But clearly he is not a natural politician & neither is she. I don't doubt that there was some general expectation that he would go into the 'family business' of politics, but many children grow up to confound their familial expectations if they have the self-knowledge to realize that the expectations don't fit (& the gumption to act accordingly).

But compare Romney with Obama or Bush or Clinton- they all love playing the game of politics- interacting with people, manipulating them, plotting how to advance their agendas… Romney doesn't seem to understand or particularly like voters, he doesn't seem to have much of an idea about 'strategy' & he doesn't seem to have any goals he's passionate about achieving. And he certainly doesn't need the money.

Since his parents are no longer around with their expectations & since he doesn't show any aptitude or preference for politics, I am hypothesizing that Ann is a strong motivating force behind his candidacies (along with the LDS bigwigs)… His campaigning is so absurd that you have to wonder if he isn't trying to fail while still being able to say that he did his duty to his family & Church.

ElPinche July 17, 2012 at 10:39 am

I love that pic of Romney. He has the same look Bruce Campbell had in Evil Dead 2 when all the furniture was laughing with him.

ttommyunger July 17, 2012 at 7:07 pm

The only thing that keeps me from feeling sorry for Mitt is that sure knowledge that a Romney Presidency would be a total horror show for my Country.

bobbert July 18, 2012 at 3:15 am

Well, and that he's kind of an inhuman asshole.

ttommyunger July 18, 2012 at 8:06 am

Yes, there is that to be sure…

emmelemm July 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Dang! Your snark is razor sharp today. Well done.

nirrti_rachelle July 16, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Internets, here, have.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Ooh, brilliant, Chich!

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm

While I cannot but approve of the sterile disposal of any kind of tissue of the human variety, it's pretty bloody cheeky of that miserable marmot-faced munchass to get on his high horse about women's uteri while simultaneously profiting therefrom, don'tchathink?

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

He told *me* his name was *Herb.*

Oh, wait, maybe that's what he was selling. Never mind.

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

That is great news about the guests – really great. Because when Barb just said – OK, I've got to go, seeya in two weeks, I feared that it was a medical reversal for her granddaughter.

Shoor, let Barb know I'd be happy to talk about it with her. Ms. Schoenkopf has my email address, and I take it she has Barb's as well. I hereby declare I have no objection to Editrix sending Barb my email. Thanks for letting me know.

[But now it is ridiculously late in Paris, so it's time for bed. À demain.]

redarmyzombie July 16, 2012 at 11:03 pm

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: There is no way in HELL that man could win the election.

And oh my god, I am SO glad to hear that's what's holding Barb up! Let her know we miss her, eh?

starfanglednut July 16, 2012 at 9:52 pm

It's fucking unbelievable, is what it is.

viennawoods13 July 16, 2012 at 10:37 pm

"marmot-faced munchass"
Love it.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 10:07 pm

It's either that, or Mitt has Ann bite into an apple while he milks her tooth sacs.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 17, 2012 at 12:07 am

It's a Marvel that a dead baby joke this black has sunk its tentacles so deeply into the commentariat.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Good night, sweet Chich! Thanks muchly, on Barb's behalf. And yes, I feared at first, too. Sleep well.

Barb July 17, 2012 at 12:41 am

Oh please, I've heard that "Paris" excuse from men too many times in my life. "The women in Paris are prettier than you" "The women in Paris wouldn't send a severed human head to me." Whatever! Just say that you don't want to be my friend and I will accept it and save myself a perfectly good severed human head.

Jeff's mom sends so many spam email that I sent her email to the SPAMMY folder and I leaned over to clear the laptop of spammy goodness and saw, "we are on our way" and I almost had a freaking heart attack. I was flushing weed in 3 bathrooms and looking for pajamas that had bottoms.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 10:14 pm

This same asshole who had the gall to tell a woman she should carry a pregnancy to term at risk of her own life, because, you know, other women do and why should she have it easy. And he's actually profiting from this shit.

starfanglednut July 16, 2012 at 10:25 pm

It's hot here, like 95 degrees, and humid. It seems like it hasn't gone below 85 all summer. I am a New England girl, and not designed for this bullshit.Anyway, screw Romney, here's the really important news of the day!http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/16/jonah-falcon-largest-penis-frisked-by-tsa_n_1675767.html#slide=more238830Hows your gimpitude? Your tomatoes?

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Mine is a woman named Peaches. Maybe the two them ought to get together some time.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 10:39 pm

You need to move out here, woman. 95F is more than I can bear. OTOH, 55 and overcast is none too great either. My 'maters DON'T LIKE EEET!

Is that boy pushing a basket or is he? That's a foot-long HOT dog, diggity!

My wing is all broke again. (Fucking chores around this place are endless.) But! I am so happy because of that Obama video that I'm not minding it at all. Watching good film, reading a lot, and waiting for it to feel better. Life is good. OMG, it just started raining.

I take it all back. I hate life.

Sorry. I'm just a fairweather friend, is all. (Hugs pretty LayDee)

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Thanks for the message, MB. I had noticed she was gone and was about to ask if anyone knew where she was.

redarmyzombie July 16, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Seriously, with every passing day I'm more and more convinced these people are really Harkonnens.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Genetically, they're probably at least part-Harkonnen. The other part has to be honey badger. Or wolverine.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Thank you. I did get a bit carried away there.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Nice name for a dope dealer. Bet they'd make sweet music together.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Youbetcha, glad to be of assistance. Poor Barb, she's had a rotten time this past year. Luckily it seems the worst is over and she'll soon be back here where she is greatly loved and missed and valued.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Done, my dear.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 17, 2012 at 6:30 pm

There are ways, but they are all in Hell, so you can relax.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Now *that's* the kind of barbeque I could *really* go for. With their diet, they should have the perfect amount of marbling for a good roast.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 17, 2012 at 12:03 am

Peaches and Herb. Now that's a combo. Herb and Peaches if you're the chronological sort. The number of entendres possible boggles the mind.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:06 am

There is a lot about Romney that seems indicative of *wrongness.* His affect is completely off, he smiles when he should be looking serious, frowns when he should be smiling, and overall, seems to be unable to *connect* with humans in some weird way. How could any sensible human being NOT know that hiding something will have people FAR more interested than exposing that same something? He seems to be unable to pick up on those kinds of cues. Is he a sociopath? I don't know. I'm not qualified to make that kind of assessment. But there is certainly something very wrong with that man.

redarmyzombie July 17, 2012 at 12:18 am

It's the fact that he's one part Harkonnen, two parts Pod Person.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 17, 2012 at 12:49 am

Well, I am of the opinion that he's a bit of an asperger patient. He knows how to maximize his numbers, and put them in a numbered account. Numbers are his friend. People? They confuse him.

Why should he worry about people? They're just numbers on the balance sheet.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 17, 2012 at 12:34 am

"chootzpalicious"

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:40 am

Go to it, BoV!

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:55 am

He should worry about people because he wants them to do something that will benefit HIM. When you want something from other people, you have to learn to *motivate* them to *give* it to you. Because, as history has shown us, repeatedly, it is VERY difficult to TAKE something from an unwilling party, but very, very easy to take EVERYthing, if need be from a *willing* party.

How the fuck did this guy get people to work for him? Did he just bully them into it? Or buy them? It sure as hell wasn't his charming personality, or what substitutes therefor.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 1:13 am

ISWYDT.

redarmyzombie July 17, 2012 at 1:20 am

I'm glad to hear it, Barb. And good for you! You enjoy yourself, onlookers be damned!
"Ex-CUZE me, can't you see I'm BUSY?!"

Oh, and here's a little ditty I think you'll enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkpuAQIdoD4&fe

viennawoods13 July 17, 2012 at 6:14 am

You go, girl!

ibwilliamsi July 17, 2012 at 9:36 am

Oh, good. :) I'm glad to hear that Mina is well. You had me concerned there for a minute!

flamingpdog July 17, 2012 at 1:26 am

BAAAAAAAARB!!!! ♥♥♥

Chichikovovich July 17, 2012 at 6:56 am

What are you talking about? I'm the one who should be feeling wounded here. I said I was going to bed! Where were you?

[Don't get me wrong - I know that you and Jeff have something magical together, and Chichikovna and I do too. It's just that, the joke was there - just pleading to be made. Chichi, ma colombe, poste-moi! What could I do?]

Concerning Canada – I'd be happy to talk about pros and cons. I love Canada and have lots of positive things to say about it. I'd recommend it along many dimensions. But on the other hand, much as I sometimes hate to admit it, I've been living in the 'States now for over 25 years. So you can draw conclusions from that too. [Though I'm close to the border, mind you, ready to make a run for it at a moment's notice.]

As I mentioned in the post to MittBorg, Rebecca has my email, and she can send it to you if you want. Drop me a note when it's convenient (though bear in mind the 8 or 9 hour time difference until early August – I may not get to it until the next day).

flamingpdog July 17, 2012 at 1:36 am

I wouldn't want to be involved in the food preparation, seeing as how full of shit they are.

redarmyzombie July 17, 2012 at 1:38 am

If there's one thing people like him attract, it's ass-kissers.

Barb July 17, 2012 at 1:55 am

I loved the video, thanks. This should be prerequisite for every woman who thinks that they look good with a nose piercing. This is what a lovely girl looks like when it is all said and done with.

flamingpdog July 17, 2012 at 2:06 am

I really gotta brush up on my Frenchican.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 2:08 am

You're quite right. I stand corrected.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 2:09 am

You do know that we remove ALL the innards before cooking 'em.

Which reminds me: Go look up Kaikai Aniani. You never know when it might come in handy for a prairie dog out on teh prairie.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 2:19 am

Leeches and sycophants. No wonder no one's stepping up to defend him. He's 60, and he doesn't have a single friend who will willingly testify to his character. How sad.

Barb July 17, 2012 at 2:39 am

Flaming! I kiss you like a mule chewing an apple, Bay-bee!

Barb July 17, 2012 at 2:43 am

FlamingPDog, I am really beat to shit. Let me sleep tonight, Sugar and I will be here tomorrow and I will head butt you like a cat all day and night.

redarmyzombie July 17, 2012 at 4:28 am

Glad you liked it! And, speaking strictly as a gay man, I have a serious crush on that woman!

James Michael Curley July 17, 2012 at 7:08 am

Good that he is doing well.I think that’s the hospital I spent a night in when my V6 Moto Guzzi and the Mulholland Drive had a disagreement.

Blueb4sunrise July 17, 2012 at 11:25 am

Okay. Thanks for the replies.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 12:29 pm

I really think this. This business of his involvement in Stericycle is resonating with the pro-forced-birth nutbags. And the new Obama ad is KILLING him. Over 1 million views in TWO days. And Jon Stewart just ripped Mitt one million new assholes over the "retroactive" retirement.

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 4:02 pm

I'm off to look for it, dood.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 17, 2012 at 6:21 pm

The lower they are, the happier we are to have 'em. It's not like we're entertaining houseguests.

Steverino247 July 17, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Not a young sprout. Any number of honorably gained wounds tend to wake me up before the rest of me wants to join them.

You might say that I keep on ticking, but could use some licking. Hahaha!

MittBorg July 17, 2012 at 7:52 pm

My gratitude for your service. And I mean that most sincerely. Knowing that you worked to help abused children is a huge part of that also.

James Michael Curley July 17, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Anderson Cooper's Baby PictureArbus took very few pictures of her subject and the question as to where the original negative is (or at least years ago was) a mystery. Gloria Vanderbilt refused to allow Arbus to publish the photo and relented a year or so after Arbus died.

Chichikovovich July 18, 2012 at 7:53 am

Sorry – I wasn't clear, and I regret that by putting it the way I did trivialized the struggle to regain the loss of memories, and the pain and it involves.I was saying that I would like the experience of memories clicking back, but not the rest, in the way that people say that they would love to be a professional athlete – thinking only of the superficially good parts and forgetting the hard work that is needed.But your message makes me see that I was a thoughtless thing to think, and I'm sorry about that.—

MittBorg July 18, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Thank you. She was an incredible photographer.

LagunaB July 18, 2012 at 1:10 pm

No need to apologize, I wasn't offended. I know you were giving solace to LL.
From reading Wonkette, I perceive you as kind, thoughtful, intelligent and tall.
Now if you haven't read Jill Bolte Taylor, PhD book, My Stroke of Insight, I recommend it.
And, yeah, the memories coming back were one hell of a (multiple) kick. Unfortunately you have no control over them. They blindside you with a word spoken, seeing someone. And you find yourself in the blink of the eye, hanging on for dear life and trying to get somewhere safe. You have to ride the wave to get to the end.

This is open share Wednesday, right?

MittBorg July 18, 2012 at 2:56 pm

(Hugs LagunaB) Doesn't matter what day it is. Thank you for reminding us all of our humanity.

MittBorg July 18, 2012 at 2:57 pm

No, thank YOU, sweetie. You're the best.

redarmyzombie July 18, 2012 at 4:58 pm

D'aaawww, shucks!… *blushes*

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