why is this man smiling?Poor, poor Mitt. He and his dancing horse have been having a tough go of it lately. Turns out he may (or may not!) have lied to the SEC about the good times he had at Bain capital between 1999 and 2002, presiding over the disposal of dead fetuses unborn babies before retroactively retiring. Then a bunch of conservatives went on the teevee and demanded that he release more than two years’ of tax returns, except for the Governor of Alabama, who had just said that he thought that PEOPLE, not ROMNEY in particular, just PEOPLE should release their tax returns because of transparency. Even our favorite sexist morning show host Joe Scarborough (no offense to our second favorite sexist morning show host, Steve Doocy!) thinks Romney might have not paid any taxes for a couple years, but that he should just release them anyway and “take the hit.” But this tax returns business is just SILLINESS, because no matter how many tax returns he releases, “it won’t be enough!” It will just give the Obama people more fodder for their lies and distortions. And also, Teresa Kerry (who wasn’t running for president) didn’t release hers and “this wasn’t an issue” (except it was) so why should he, Mitt Romney, lord of the Free Market, master of time, and possessor of a record that is all about winning the future, have to release his?

Via ABC:

Mitt Romney is standing firm on his plans to release two years worth of tax returns and nothing more.   Romney already released his tax return for 2010, and an estimate for 2011.  When asked for a firm date for the release of the 2011 return, a top Romney adviser said he couldn’t provide one.

On Fox News this morning, Romney said, “John McCain ran for president and released two years of tax returns.”  He added, “John Kerry ran for president and you know his wife who has hundreds of millions of dollars.  She never released her tax returns and somehow this wasn’t an issue.”

The Romney campaign believes the issue of Romney’s returns isn’t resonating with voters as much as the Obama campaign would like…

In addition to stepping up their attacks on what they call President Obama’s cronyism – rewarding wealthy donors and friends — the Romney campaign will also argue this week that this debate over Romney’s tax returns and the candidate’s role three years after Romney left Bain Capital in 1999 are “distractions” by the Obama campaign.  Romney, they say, remains focused on the big issues including the economy and jobs.

Felonies. Distractions. Tomato. Tomahto. Let’s just enjoy this brief and fleeting moment wherein Democratic strategists are on the offensive for once, shall we?


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  • The Butthurt is strong with this one.

    • RadioSlut

      The Blame Obama is also, too, strong on this one.

    • yrbmegr

      I'm having fun speculating about all the foreign officials he bribed while at Bain, the payments for which are detailed in the tax returns he refuses to release.

    • JohnnyQuick

      "Tragedy is when I get accused of a crime that I'm trying to cover up.
      Comedy is when one of the uninsured dies of cancer."

      Maybe Mel Brooks' version was better.

  • Romney's right – tax returns were never – never an issue for Kerry during his campaign. I don't recall it ever came up after he was elected either.

    • Vecchiojohn

      And the liberal media never went after President Gore like this.

    • CarolinaStewPie

      I love those President Kerry billboards where he's windsurfing and being run over by a SwiftBoat, with the caption..'Miss Me Yet'?

  • DrunkIrishman

    It's clear Mitt Romney has some investments overseas in the kiddie sex trade. I mean, why else would he be hiding his tax returns? I think it's the only logical reason. Mitt Romney supports the child sex trade. Pervert.

    • SmutBoffin

      How do we know he hasn't been giving material support to hateful extremist mosks or Occupy-affiliated organizations or medical marijuana advocacy causes?

      Conservatives should demand the release of these filings, or do they want it revealed after Romney wins the election that he actually maintains residences BOTH in Kenya AND ON THE MOON.

    • You know, I just read that on the Internet, too!

      • va_real

        So did I, and it's sounds REALLY PLAUSIBLE!

        • Veritas78

          He's never denied it.

          • va_real

            Well, there ya go!

          • yrbmegr

            He's also never denied having bribed foreign officials, the details of which are undoubtedly enumerated in his un-released tax returns.

        • HogeyeGrex

          It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Just report it, and let people decide. All fair and balanced like.

    • flamingpdog


      *prison, not the White House.

      • You hear me complaining?

        • Hi Z!

          • Hey, sweetpea! How's it going at your end of the swamp? It's freezing and gray out here!

          • It's hot here, like 95 degrees, and humid. It seems like it hasn't gone below 85 all summer. I am a New England girl, and not designed for this bullshit.Anyway, screw Romney, here's the really important news of the day! your gimpitude? Your tomatoes?

          • You need to move out here, woman. 95F is more than I can bear. OTOH, 55 and overcast is none too great either. My 'maters DON'T LIKE EEET!

            Is that boy pushing a basket or is he? That's a foot-long HOT dog, diggity!

            My wing is all broke again. (Fucking chores around this place are endless.) But! I am so happy because of that Obama video that I'm not minding it at all. Watching good film, reading a lot, and waiting for it to feel better. Life is good. OMG, it just started raining.

            I take it all back. I hate life.

            Sorry. I'm just a fairweather friend, is all. (Hugs pretty LayDee)

    • I just assumed that he was funding the cover up of fellow Mormon Glenn Beck's rape and murder of a girl. Neither one has denied it!

      • Nothingisamiss

        Those Mormons! It's a conspiracy!

    • Mitt must be hiding something REALLY bad to be worth all this trouble.
      Leave it to the trusty Wonketteers to suggest some possibilities!
      (I think it's time, don't you?)

      • SmutBoffin

        I hear he has been making large donations to organizations that want to redefine marriage to include unions between humans and bigfoots/feet.

        • emmelemm

          They prefer to be called Sasquatches.

          /political correctness

          • Chichikovovich

            Sure, we're not supposed to call them anything but "Sasquatch", and "Yeti". But listen to that "stomp" music their kids play, or just listen to one of their conversations, and it's all "bigfoot" this and "bigfoot" that.

          • emmelemm

            Dang! Your snark is razor sharp today. Well done.

          • nirrti_rachelle

            Internets, here, have.

          • Ooh, brilliant, Chich!

      • Chichikovovich

        Rumor is that he's been spending a fortune training shock troops of Mormon missionaries to fan out through the U.S. and take over Bible-believing® New Testament Christian® Churches to preach the Book of Mormon. When his sport-coated legions are in place, he'll change the pledge of allegiance to say "…one nation under God and the Angel Moroni"! And it will be a crime to preach that God, the Holy Ghost and Jesus are all one person!

        Edit: Though now that I think about it, I don't see why the Trinity is even that hard to understand in Romneyworld. Just understand that G/HG/J have incorporated [no, not that, kind of incorporated, I mean became a legal corporation]. And since corporations are people…..

        • Altho, srsly, shouldn't it be "Bigger this" and "Bigger that"?

        • kittensdontlie

          Don't you see…Romneygate(him being himself is scandalous) is the Angel Moroni incarnate! His wealth is from the appreciated value of the golden tablets 'A. Moroni' has had since 1838. A sweet mother lode of inflation since then has left R-gate wealthy and A MORON!

    • rickmaci

      His secret accounts in the Caribbean funneled money to the drug cartels. At least that's what somebody, not quite sure who, said on the interwebs.

      • Does he share a cabana and have a few Havanas with a blowhard with a fist fulla Viagra™?

  • johnnymeatworth

    Has Steve Miller sued him for playing "Take The Money And Run" at campaign rallies yet?

    • More like the Beetles should lay a pounding on him for "Taxman."

      • va_real

        Only it needs to be updated to 'there's one for you, ninety-nine for me'…

    • Callyson

      Steve Miller might just be glad not to hear Mo' Money Mo' Problems at Mitten's rallies yet again…

    • No, but BMG Publishing made Rmoney pull the ad with Obama singing Al Green for the copyright violation.

      • I'm so thrilled!~

      • johnnymeatworth


    • Chichikovovich

      Or "The Joker"?

    • jakegittes

      Or, "Livin' in the USA." Somebody give me a cheeseburger.

      I see a yellow man, a brown man
      A white man, a red man
      Lookin' for Uncle Sam
      To give you a helpin' hand
      But everybody's kickin' sand
      Even politicians
      We're living in a plastic land
      Somebody give me a hand, yeah

  • ProgressiveInga

    Rich, entitled and wearing magic undies is no way to go through life, son.

  • majicunderwear

    I Thought Ann already mentioned that when unzipped Mittens could not stand firm.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Not stiff at all, I think is what she said.

      • Poor Ann! Do you have any gifts in your magic sack for Poor Ann, Biely?

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          She's in purgatory already.

          • flamingpdog

            I've been meaning to ask you this for a long time, but since you're a man of wealth and taste, are there people you will simply refuse to accept in Hell because they are even too low for you?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            The lower they are, the happier we are to have 'em. It's not like we're entertaining houseguests.

  • LetUsBray

    After the years of "Where's the birth certificate? What's he trying to hide? Why won't he release the birth certificate? No, not that birth certificate – the one that exists only in my mind, bla bla bla", this is so incredibly fair.

    • Chichikovovich

      Oh, God yes, that would be wonderful. "No, not these so-called tax returns! We want the, um, uh, original submission returns. No, I'm not going to tell you what that means. You should already know. And since you've been acting so shifty, we'll be wanting all original receipts please!"

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        At least there really IS a long form version!

    • kittensdontlie

      We have been over this a dozen times already! Ol' Mittsy boy will release his tax returns when Obamaman releases his real birth certificate…you know, the one from KENYA!!


      I can't take credit for this, but I thought you'd enjoy it.

  • CapnRadio

    Poor, poor Mitt. He and his dancing horse have been having a tough go of it lately.

    No, no, no, you're confused. Bristol is Sarah Palin's daughter, not Mitt Romney's wife.

    • Veritas78

      Horse, not heifer. It's an easy mistake to make.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Umm…. not really.

    • Lynne

      Is that a picture of Mitt's dancing horse?

    • Negropolis

      Sarah Jessica Parker libel!

  • BlueStateLibel

    Can the Repubs retroactively recall him as their candidate? He's starting to look about as much a winner as the Confederate Army.

    • Even they're saying it now.

    • Negropolis

      Yes, they can retroactively recall him when Obama kicks his ass all across this great nation come November.

      • He's doing it NOW! I can't wait. The debates will be murder, on Rmoney.

  • Hey, yeah, what about Ann Romney's tax returns.?

    • Veritas78

      Since everything seems to have been stashed in her name, we actually do have a right to know.

      • BerkeleyBear

        They use joint filings because she doesn't make shit on her own (or at least the ones that have come out so far are joint). He just used her to hold things (like the Sankaty High Yield crap) and probably uses her to double up tax free gifts to their spawn. So if we really got his, we'd get hers, too.

        Now watch, that'll be the next argument – she's not running for anything, so you can't have his returns.

        • I suspect if he tries to make that argument, there will be a roar of outrage among the common people.

          • GunToting[Redacted]

            You really think this? Remember, Romney is WHITE.

          • I really think this. This business of his involvement in Stericycle is resonating with the pro-forced-birth nutbags. And the new Obama ad is KILLING him. Over 1 million views in TWO days. And Jon Stewart just ripped Mitt one million new assholes over the "retroactive" retirement.

    • PubOption

      Mitt will reverse himself yet again, and claim that Ann does not work, and so need not file a tax return.

  • Felonies, aren't they a peonies-like shrub often found in the Hamptons?

    • flamingpdog

      I thought Shrub was most often found in the Dallas suburbs these days.

    • Negropolis

      Yeah, I also hear that they've overgrown the flowers on Wall Street. Time to prune.

  • you stand firm there mittbot.

    no, seriously, stand firm.

    this is delicious.

    • I swear to God there's coconuts and caramel in this!

      • flamingpdog

        Being it's Mitt, probably not incense and peppermints.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Give the guy a break. Mitt’s probably Greek and just doesn’t like paying taxes.

    • Or taxes are Greek to him.

      • flamingpdog

        Or he likes to go Greek with Texans.

        • Callyson

          That would explain why I kept thinking "why don't you two just fuck already?" when Perry and Mittens were going after each other in the debates last year…

        • Ewwwww…

    • Negropolis

      The Greeks don't mind paying taxes. The problem is that they so overextended on spending and were robbed so blind by the financial sector that ot enough taxes in the world could fill that hole.

  • emmelemm


    Doing otherwise makes it look like he's got something he's really, really, really, really desperate to hide. Which means we get to use our imagination (child sex rings), which is bound to be worse than whatever he's actually hiding.

    • emmelemm

      ETA: And it's not just that he's a rich fuck. We all know he's a rich fuck, we don't need a number on it. For that matter, ALL presidential candidates are rich fucks. End of story.

    • SmutBoffin

      This is the SECOND place I have heard about Romney's investments in sex-trafficking. Must be true!

      • va_real

        Now I'm not just suspicious, I'm convinced. Let's all go compose chain e-mails in Cosmic Sans with angel gif's…

        • And Maxine clip art.

          • EatFrankRich

            You're on my Uncle John's mailing list too?

          • He told *me* his name was *Herb.*

            Oh, wait, maybe that's what he was selling. Never mind.

          • flamingpdog

            Mine is a woman named Peaches. Maybe the two them ought to get together some time.

          • Nice name for a dope dealer. Bet they'd make sweet music together.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Peaches and Herb. Now that's a combo. Herb and Peaches if you're the chronological sort. The number of entendres possible boggles the mind.

          • Go to it, BoV!

      • GeorgiaBurning

        The child sex trafficking allegations about Romney are greatly exaggerated, the boys certainly looked like they were 18.

        • Veritas78

          Well, they probably are now, so it's old news.

    • Negropolis

      This is exactly why he shouldn't release them (while I ask sarcastically "Why won't he show us the tax returns?"). I want to see him squirm for a few more weeks.

      • I feel as if I'm being cruel — until I remember that this is the same MittTheShitt who mocked poor folks at NASCAR for wearing cheap rain ponchos. Or serving him local prize-winning bakery cookies. Or doughnuts, that he couldn't remember the name of.

        • Jadetiger79

          That's what I'm thinking of, that kid whose hair he cut off must be having a huge laugh up there. Mittens is getting payback for all the shit he's done. On a global stage.

          • Yup. In fact, Mitt is going to be remembered by many people as the asshole who held down a gay kid and forcibly cut his hair. He deserves every second of the pain and shame and humiliation, assuming, of course, that he actually feels any of it. This is karma, in action.

        • Negropolis

          I feel a little bad about Obama grabbing Romney's fist and using his fist own to hit himself while asking sarcastically "why do you keep hitting yourself?", and then it passes.

          Bain is as much a part of Romney as his hand, and he's going to keep getting it shoved back in his face for abusing his power and influence for so many years and destroying so many lives just so his shallow wish of running for president could be fulfilled.

          • (Hugs Negropolis) You sure do know how to make a person, happy, dude.

            Instant (OK, it took a while) Karma.

    • Buckminster

      Better yet, Asian freak-museums made up of mangled 3rd-world orphans. Yay for surgery! Economy building!

  • coolhandnuke

    Yo Mitt, The IRS–if you remove a space might mean THEIRS–but if you're running for President (and you are for the fourth time) it might just also mean OURS.

  • Poor Mittens, no one told him when he threw his "Lil' Oligarch's" brand top hat into the ring that he might be accountable to "people" who don't own their own version of Versailles in the Hamptons.

  • MissTaken

    I read on the internet that Mitt is involved in child sex rings and that is why he won't release his returns.

    • Schmannnity

      Underage Mormon wife porn is what I heard.

      • Veritas78

        No, he just incinerated aborted fetuses…

        Oops: too soon?

        • I thought Stericycle was involved in disposing of aborted fetal tissue, and Bane invested in them and Mitt profited from the investments, right?

          • Veritas78

            Why, that's exactly what happened! And smack-dab in the middle of those "gray" years between 1999 and 2002.

            Stericycle® (sterile, recycle, get it? So Bain-clever!) is now the nation's leading incinerator of aborted fetuses. (If you're French, it would be incinerateur, kinda like restauranteur.)

            Safe, clean, good for the environment: Stericycle®! For a limited time, we'll include a free Mormon baptism—but act now!

          • While I cannot but approve of the sterile disposal of any kind of tissue of the human variety, it's pretty bloody cheeky of that miserable marmot-faced munchass to get on his high horse about women's uteri while simultaneously profiting therefrom, don'tchathink?

          • It's fucking unbelievable, is what it is.

          • This same asshole who had the gall to tell a woman she should carry a pregnancy to term at risk of her own life, because, you know, other women do and why should she have it easy. And he's actually profiting from this shit.

          • redarmyzombie

            Seriously, with every passing day I'm more and more convinced these people are really Harkonnens.

          • Genetically, they're probably at least part-Harkonnen. The other part has to be honey badger. Or wolverine.

          • viennawoods13

            "marmot-faced munchass"
            Love it.

          • Thank you. I did get a bit carried away there.

          • Oh, is that where Venom comes from?

          • It's either that, or Mitt has Ann bite into an apple while he milks her tooth sacs.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            It's a Marvel that a dead baby joke this black has sunk its tentacles so deeply into the commentariat.

          • ISWYDT.

    • coolhandnuke

      I also read on that internet Click here for College Girls Single Moms.

      • Chichikovovich

        Well, I do think that Mitt and his handlers are worried about some of the Mutually Beneficial Relationships that might come to light.

        • As a matter of fact, Mitt *does* have an MBA, or so I hear.

    • SorosBot

      I just read that on the internet, too! It must be true; he hasn't denied it yet.

    • flamingpdog

      Dubya MBA = Masters of Business Administration.
      Mittens MBA = Mutually Beneficial Arrangments.

    • You see, these kinds of things are a distraction. Mitt Romney is focused on jobs and the economy, not the child sexual exploitation investments that many speculate could be the reason he would face felony charges should he release his returns!

      • Wow, EVERYONE seems to be talking about Mitt and child sex rings! I'm seeing this all over Teh InterNets! It MUST be true!

        • sewollef

          Ahh. This leaves me conflicted.

          On the one hand I want this to be true so it'll totally destroy the Republican National Convention, and Romney of course…. and on the other hand I don't want it to be true. For the victims.

          • Geminisunmars

            Pansy liberal.

          • True. But the fact is that Sheldon Adelson, who is pumping $100 MIL into Romney's campaign, IS involved in trafficking underage women for sex. Why isn't that getting the attention it deserves?

    • Nostrildamus

      Some say …

      • emmelemm

        We report, You decide.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          That's fair. Maybe even balanced.

    • Release the dang child-sex muniez!

  • Too fucking rich to be legit and too Mitt to quit.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Hell, if he doesn't want anyone to see his tax returns, why doesn't he just destroy them like he did with all those emails and computer hard drives from when he was governor of Massachusetts? Of course, the left-wing media would probably have some manufactured outrage over that, but they do that about everything.

    • va_real

      Well, at least we still have SOME manufacturing jobs left in this country.

  • JustPixelz

    "…rewarding wealthy donors and friends…"

    With Romney, those are the same people.

  • Schmannnity


    • sewollef

      So many comments…. but this is Post of the Thread!

      Made me laugh out loud [or 'lol', as the the kids say]. In the office. With other people in the room.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Mittens has become the man that nobody wants to have a beer with even if he did drink. Come to think of it, the last nondrinking president was a real cluster fuck. Let's not do that again. Okay America?

  • nounverb911

    "Romney’s Tax Man Cometh"
    Is his name Godot?

    • flamingpdog

      I. Ben Beatinoff.

    • AddHomonym


    • i think it's harry hope.

    • Godot mate?

  • SorosBot

    "Romney, they say, remains focused on the big issues including the economy and jobs."

    Yes, we know Romney wants to destroy the economy and make sure no one has good jobs, he doesn't need to keep reminding us of that.

  • RadioSlut

    Oh the sins of the father. Didn't Daddy Warbucks Romney start this whole disclosure thingy?

    • va_real

      I almost feel sorry for Willard. His father had a moral compass, and he didn't pass it down to his son.

      • snackypants

        I'm surprised the diamond-encrusted, platinum Rolex doesn't come standard with a moral compass.

        • va_real

          Strangely, Rolex found there wasn't much demand for that feature.

    • Negropolis

      And, let me tell you, George would have never went to the NAACP convention and pulled the shit Willard did. What a fucking disgrace.

      • Talk about shitting all over his old man's legacy.

  • Steverino247

    My bet is that he will never release them and will lose the election as a result. He's taking the position where one denies there's a problem until it goes away. This won't go away, though, which should be clear when R's from all over are telling him to release the returns. There has to be something so toxic in those returns that releasing them will do much more damage that refusing to do it.

    In fact, releasing them might be giving evidence against himself, if that felony talk is for real. Tough choice: Losing the Presidential election or giving the Feds evidence you've committed a felony.

    • Nostrildamus

      Why not do both?

      • va_real

        Well, nobody flip-flops like the Mitt- doing both would be in character. He needs to wait until his timing's worse, though.

    • I can't believe he's this stubborn and stupid. Because the longer he drags his feet on this, the more convinced people become that he's hiding something VERY damaging and bad. And no matter what he's hiding, it cannot possibly be worse than what the imagination of millions can conjure up.

      He really is a fool. He's proved that over the past two weeks. He's already lost. The RWNJs on Twitter are speculating that Santorum should unsuspend his campaign, Palin's nutbags are speculating that she has the best chance with a brokered convention, and so forth. None of it will amount to anything because it's simply too late for anyone else to step in, now. But it underscores how little support there is for him in his own party and how effectively the Obama campaign has cut him off at the knees.

      George Fucking WILL is openly saying Romney has lost.

      • emmelemm

        Don't discount rigged election machines and poll tax voter ID requirements. His ship should be sunk, but just maybe it ain't.

        • Chichikovovich

          No, we can't discount that at all, of course. But for that to work, you need the election to be close – to hinge on one or two states with Republican governors. [And wouldn't you know – Republican governors in Florida, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Ohio. Well funded by Koch money. Let no one ever say that that those goniffs don't plan ahead.]

          If Romney isn't even making a plausible showing, if the opinion polls are wildly in Obama's favor, if the gap is just too great for any chicanery not to be discovered, they're sunk.

          Too many people are watching – Obama and his people are loading up with the lawyers and experts that Gore and Kerry naïvely thought would not be needed.

          • emmelemm

            Honestly: thank you for making me feel an eensy teensy bit better.

          • (Hugs the Chich) Thanks. I needed the voice of sanity.

            Incidentally, Barb is aflood with out-of-town guests, which is why she has been scarce in these parts, but she would like to talk to you about Canada, she sez. Apparently, she and her spouse are considering a move to cold Northern parts.

          • Chichikovovich

            That is great news about the guests – really great. Because when Barb just said – OK, I've got to go, seeya in two weeks, I feared that it was a medical reversal for her granddaughter.

            Shoor, let Barb know I'd be happy to talk about it with her. Ms. Schoenkopf has my email address, and I take it she has Barb's as well. I hereby declare I have no objection to Editrix sending Barb my email. Thanks for letting me know.

            [But now it is ridiculously late in Paris, so it's time for bed. À demain.]

          • Good night, sweet Chich! Thanks muchly, on Barb's behalf. And yes, I feared at first, too. Sleep well.

          • flamingpdog

            Thanks for the message, MB. I had noticed she was gone and was about to ask if anyone knew where she was.

          • Youbetcha, glad to be of assistance. Poor Barb, she's had a rotten time this past year. Luckily it seems the worst is over and she'll soon be back here where she is greatly loved and missed and valued.

          • Barb

            Oh please, I've heard that "Paris" excuse from men too many times in my life. "The women in Paris are prettier than you" "The women in Paris wouldn't send a severed human head to me." Whatever! Just say that you don't want to be my friend and I will accept it and save myself a perfectly good severed human head.

            Jeff's mom sends so many spam email that I sent her email to the SPAMMY folder and I leaned over to clear the laptop of spammy goodness and saw, "we are on our way" and I almost had a freaking heart attack. I was flushing weed in 3 bathrooms and looking for pajamas that had bottoms.

          • flamingpdog

            BAAAAAAAARB!!!! ♥♥♥

          • Barb

            Flaming! I kiss you like a mule chewing an apple, Bay-bee!

          • Barb

            FlamingPDog, I am really beat to shit. Let me sleep tonight, Sugar and I will be here tomorrow and I will head butt you like a cat all day and night.

          • Chichikovovich

            What are you talking about? I'm the one who should be feeling wounded here. I said I was going to bed! Where were you?

            [Don't get me wrong – I know that you and Jeff have something magical together, and Chichikovna and I do too. It's just that, the joke was there – just pleading to be made. Chichi, ma colombe, poste-moi! What could I do?]

            Concerning Canada – I'd be happy to talk about pros and cons. I love Canada and have lots of positive things to say about it. I'd recommend it along many dimensions. But on the other hand, much as I sometimes hate to admit it, I've been living in the 'States now for over 25 years. So you can draw conclusions from that too. [Though I'm close to the border, mind you, ready to make a run for it at a moment's notice.]

            As I mentioned in the post to MittBorg, Rebecca has my email, and she can send it to you if you want. Drop me a note when it's convenient (though bear in mind the 8 or 9 hour time difference until early August – I may not get to it until the next day).

          • redarmyzombie

            I've said it before, and I'll say it again: There is no way in HELL that man could win the election.

            And oh my god, I am SO glad to hear that's what's holding Barb up! Let her know we miss her, eh?

          • Done, my dear.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            There are ways, but they are all in Hell, so you can relax.

        • True. He does infuriate me something terrible. Must learn to button lip and remain calm.

      • BerkeleyBear

        They are stupid enough to follow up whining about Obama being negative with negative ads bashing Obama for supposed "crony capitalism." Only the allegations are all old and warn out (loans to Solyndra and Fiskar under the Bush era loan guarantee program) or stock stuff no one who knows anything about elections would be upset about (bundlers, shockingly enough, get access and appointments on occasion). Plus Romney won't disclose who his bundlers are (other than the lobbyists required to be disclosed by law – the same lobbyists who aren't allowed to even donate to Obama), much less even suggest what would be an acceptable ethical standard. It is all just that Romney is somehow to be trusted to have higher standards. Which is pretty laughable since Romney keeps saying on everything financial "I do what the law requires, so shut the hell up."

        • I have an intellectual analysis of this, and a gut-level feeling about it. My intellectual analysis, I have already mostly laid out, and I'm willing to concede that no one can know the outcome of this thing till it's over, especially in light of the Republican fondness for rigging voting machines, and denying people their right to vote.

          My gut tells me Romney has ALREADY lost this thing. He *looks* tired and defeated, and he *sounds* lost. Perception is everything, especially in this country where people are manipulated daily by the very ambient sounds and scents around them. Romney has been marked with the stink of failure. He might well recover, but my instinct tells me no. Humans instinctively reject the weak. It's the natural instinct of creatures that are accustomed to being prey (for some while preying on others). We can't quit working till the last votes have been counted. But frankly, it does not look good for Mitt today.

      • CarolinaStewPie

        Is this a great country, or what? That terrorist fist-bumpin' Kenyan, doggie-dinin', hoops lovin' black guy Mooslim, Kenyan born, healthcare promotin', never-releasin'-his-school records, 'Merica hatin' rascal might win?!?!?!….AGAIN!?!?!?! HOLY CRAP HE'S A BLACK GUY!!!!

        Wait. Maybe he's actually a white guy…you know..RETROACTIVELY. He's got two caucasian grandparents from Kansas, of all places, Dorothy!

        Yeah, that's the ticket!

        • I'm really feeling hopeful, CarolinaStewPie.

    • MissNancyPriss

      Republican voters don't care if Mitt releases his taxes or not. They don't care that he bullied a guy in HS, they don't care that he drugged his wife's horse to sell it. They won't care when/if he kills a woman in cold blood, they don't care, they don't care, they don't care.

      • And we don't care about those Republican voters who are THAT rigid and narrow. The electorate can be divided into rough thirds, with some 30% being registered Republicans, another 30% being registered Democrats, another 30-40% being the much lauded Independents/apolitical dingdongs.

        Most Democrats will vote for Obama. Like as not, a majority of Republicans will vote for Romney. It's who the Independents/unaffiliated voters will vote for that will decide the election. And they seem to care very much about Romney's tax releases, for one.

        • flamingpdog

          Waitaminute, 30% + 30% +40%, that only adds up to 100%. Where's the other 79%?

          • Duh, pdog, the other 79% are staying home on their fat asses watching Pox Ooze and eating Cheetos!

  • Extemporanus

    Did the child sex trafficking operations Mitt Romney invested in the early 90s afford him different deduction amounts depending on the gender and race of the child?

    I'm asking for a friend…

    • SmutBoffin

      Jarb kreayshun!

      Those youngsters who were, uh, apprenticed, in the 90s are now independent contractors.

      Jarb kreayshun!

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Release the 1099's!

    • bobbert

      I'm looking forward to learning more about the synthetic debt obligations that he used to securitize the sex trafficking operations. #winningthefutureretroactively

      • va_real

        Winning the future retroactively = brilliant!

  • Callyson

    The Romney campaign is praying that the issue of Romney’s returns isn’t resonating with voters as much as any sensible person will tell you it will…


  • I can't post in Wonkville, but there's breaking news that Mitt Romney is somehow involved in the sex trade.

    • coolhandnuke

      The news hounds have connected the dots to Mitt and a kiddie porn ring….Mitt has many kiddies. Utah is the #1 porn user per person in the country. Mitt saved the '02 Olympic rings from collapse.

  • I've been playing Mitt's version of "America The Beautiful" in an endless loop all day today. I'm enjoying it while it lasts…

    • va_real

      Are you sure that's wise? I couldn't get through it more than once.

    • flamingpdog

      Have you talked to your doctor about cochlear implants?

      • I'm playing it for everybody else, not me (that's what noise cancelling headphones are for, right?)

  • Obama's donors give him cash to get favors. Mitten's donors give him money because they are patriots.

  • Me_K_Cong

    Will the Republican party realize Romney is non-electable? Or will they ride this barrel over the falls?

    • va_real

      There's still time for a Convention breakout: Palin/Bachmann 2012, anyone?

    • BarackMyWorld

      Bob Doles says "hello."

    • TheMightyHaltor

      They'll stand pat. Other than the barrel, all they've got are a few empty Coke cans and a Dixie cup.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      They are are loyal to a fault. Even if Nixon is their fault.

    • They will decide in 4 years that it's time to nominate a REAL conservative, which by then will mean god only knows what.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I think full-tilt fundamentalist-creationist fascist will be the minimum job requirement … with Santorum as the VP candidate, to appeal to the moderates.

    • Negropolis

      They've known all along that he's non-electable. That's why they turned him away in 2008. The only reason he made it through, this time, is he was the only candidate that could self-fund and have any hope of competing against this president in the money game.

      They know Romney's shit. It's why the primaries were more bitter than usual. But, Romney's personalwealth was not goingto be denied, this time.

      • What does his personal wealth matter when you have Anonymous Oligarchs pouring money into PACs?

        • Negropolis

          The SuperPACs can only take a candidate so far. Were it not for Mitt's personal wealth, you better believe they wouldn't have let him through, this time, either.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Never mind the money … look at the competition he had.

  • scorpy1

    "why should he, Mitt Romney…have to release his?"

    Because Mitt has always been about doing the absolute barest legal minimum of anything and fuck generosity.

    • SorosBot

      Because we have good reason to suspect that Mitt had been avoiding paying his taxes by moving his money to offshore tax heavens, thus showing he hates America.

      • scorpy1

        I hate to be all gossipy, but I think it might end up being an onshore tax haven:

      • flamingpdog

        I forget, how many levels of tax heavens do Mormons have?

        • Veritas78

          I see what you did there…

        • va_real


        • bobbert

          All of them, Nephi.

      • Negropolis

        Why does Mitt Romney hate America? I mean, he's totally down with Amercia,but he couldn't give two flying shits about America.

  • AbandonHope

    Hey, alright! If he gets elected we have an impeachment reason built right in!

    • He's black?

    • If it isn't already blindingly obvious, I'm here to tell you he's not getting elected any time soon.

      • AbandonHope

        Oh, believe me, I know. I just figured everybody could use a laugh.

  • flamingpdog

    John McCain saw 23 years of Romney's tax returns and picked Sarah Palin as his VP candidate. I saw that on the internet, too, also.

  • rocktonsam

    its has to be a trick, this Rmoney is a tricky one, he is a trickster

  • Antispandex

    "Mitt Romney is standing firm…."

    …but without a wide stance. Not Mitt, no no, not our Mitt. He's all manly and stuff. Except for the whininess.

    • va_real

      And the buttsechs.

      • lunchbox360

        And the mommy jeans.

    • I have *never* heard so much whining in my life. What a crybaby.

  • SorosBot

    Why is it that every time Republicans mention something that was an issue with a previous Democratic candidate, they always claim it "wasn’t an issue" even though that's always a flat-out lie? Do they just think we all forget recent history?

    • anniegetyerfun

      They absolutely count on it. They don't know how to Google anything other than "rent boy Washington DC", so why should we?

      • emmelemm

        It's like, no matter what letter I type, the first thing that comes up in Google is "rent boy Washington DC"? How that get there?

    • Callyson

      Nothing else explains how a Republican *ever* gets elected, so, yeah, they think we all have Alzheimer's. Or, at least, they think GOP voters are senile.

      Come to think of it…

      • SorosBot

        Someone actually said, in a discussion on whether Romney's Mormonism might turn off voters, "but Obama went to [typical rant on Rev. Wright], and it wasn't an issue!" Really? That bullshit that the media would not shut up about for months in 2008 and wingnuts still blather about was not an issue?

        • I'm beginning to understand wingnutese. When they say "not an issue," they mean "He wasn't dragged from his home/car/office by mobs of irate loons dressed in cheap and inaccurate knockoffs of 18th century clothing and beaten/burned/shot/hanged." Anything else is clearly a miscarriage of justice.

    • MissTaken

      Yes, that's exactly what they think.

      You have to remember, the GOP is filled with corn syrup fed diabetics who have never seen, much less eaten, a real fruit or veggie in their life. The result is brain damage. They don't remember things like making a ginormous deal about Rev Wright, so how could *stupid* Dems remember?

    • BerkeleyBear

      Well, McCain certainly acted like videotape didn't exist, and Mitt seems to be cut from the same cloth. They also have a long history of getting away with unchallenged revisionism, between the media either won't go there or works for Fox.

      This is one way in which the internet has become a killer tool for savvy campaigns – everything is out there, and a lot easier to point out.

      • emmelemm

        But, sadly, only to people who spend a lot of time on the internet.

        • SorosBot

          Or who watch the Daily Show or Maddow. Which is pretty much preaching to the converted sadly.

          • Chichikovovich

            Well, once the stuff has been processed and discussed on boards like this one, and the most telling or most amusing bits have appeared on Maddow/Daily Show, then they can be further distilled into killer ads. It is the candidates job to use the material effectively or ineffectively. In the old days, how would a video like that of Romney singing "America the Beautiful" off-key to an unenthusiastic audience ever come to his opponents' attention?

          • That's not really true. Clearly it's true for *this* site. We *are* preaching to the converted when we discuss this here. But there's lots of other sites where people hang out and sooner or later, this information finds its way there. I've seen a tremendous change since G.W. Bush's first run at office and the current day in terms of information spread via the Net.

    • NellCote71

      Because they think the rest if America is as dumb as their base.

    • BarackMyWorld

      My favorite example of this was the boomlet of fuss in 2004 over the H.J. Heinz Company engaging in outsourcing. Because the candidate's wife's late first husband was a member of the family that founded the company and he'd last worked for the company 20 years before he died, but left when elected to Congress (as a Republican).

  • Come here a minute

    He's embarrassed to release his returns — his income dipped below eight figures, and what would the guys at the club say?

    • va_real

      I think the guys at the club would say, "You'd think child sex trafficking would pay more than that?"…

  • arcadesproject

    Hey, Winning the Future' was a campaign, of sorts, launched by O. It fell as flat as it deserved to fall and was allowed to expire.

  • HarryButtle

    You know, there's a story ALL OVER THE INTERNET about Mitt bankrolling kiddie porn rings…so (per Cokie's Law) there must be something to it!

    Too bad teh Wonkette doesn't have a "news" division…

    • emmelemm

      Good thing Wonkette doesn't allow comments, either…

  • It may be speculation, but some are questioning whether Mitt Romney ever stopped forcibly cutting gay teenagers' hair, and has a large vault of such "treasure" beneath one of his many homes. His tax returns could provide answers.

    • Where do you think the seed money for Bain came from? Each person working for Bain had to assault and take the hair from a gay person. They then sold it all to India to make wigs for Islamist women who had torn their hair out at the death of martyrs.

      To this date, Mitt Romney has never denied any of this.

    • Dr. Nick Riviera

      Constituents are asking these questions, it is the duty of our representatives to find out!

  • spudgun

    On a tangent here, but…you know, for a multi-bazillionaire, he sure has dingy teeth.

    • RadioSlut

      Shit stains are difficult to remove.

    • Dr. Nick Riviera

      They were better before he ground them down this weekend watching Obama's ad

    • AddHomonym

      But they are the right height.

    • flamingpdog

      Needz more Pepsodent, less President.

    • I'm looking at that photo and wondering why they're greenish and stained like that. Does he share meals with Rafalca the dressage horse?

    • Negropolis

      Crazy. I was just watching the Daily Show, and it's the first time I noticed his horrible teeth.

    • valgal2342

      Well….I have some experience here since I've had a fair amount of dental work (being from KY and all) and I was amazed at how many colors natural teeth can have while we were matching my natural teeth color for the implant. Mitt does have good gums though.
      Floss people, Floss!
      That said, I think the color of Mitt's teeth look dingy because his is hiding his tax returns there in plain sight!

      • Vecchiojohn

        Maybe he ate his tax returns. Ink can be hell on teeth.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          He had to .. the dog simply refused to help.

      • That was funny. I think I'm going to advance that theory. :)

  • Isn't the real question "When is Romney going to release his Swiss, Barbados and Mexican Tax returns?"

    I assume that Trumps investigators are on the way.

    • emmelemm

      Do you even have to pay taxes in any of those countries? Just sayin'… [unfinished sentence]

      • I'm not sure in Switzerland or Barbados, but in Mexico, you have to at least pay off the local government and drug dealer, which is a tax, of sorts (And, since it is based upon the free enterprise system, one of the few taxes supported by Heritage and the Koch Brothers!).

    • NellCote71

      While Trump's investigators are down there, they may want to track down the Romney, er, genealogy.

  • SmutBoffin

    He probably doesn't want us to know that he wrote off a (forbidden!) cup of coffee as a "travel expense" once.

  • flamingpdog

    "Mitt Romney has publicly stated that he regularly tithes to his church," said Andrea Saul, a Romney campaign spokeswoman, when asked about the Bain contributions.

    Or does he? Releasing his tax returns could embarrass him before the Grand Poobahs of the LDS church mayhap?

    • emmelemm

      I certainly would not put that past him; however, for a check as big as Romney's ought to be, you'd think they'd know if they were missing it.

      • bobbert

        I believe they do actually pay attention to these things.

    • Jennyjen798

      My ex's family were of "the church", and my ex was named and somehow related to "Brigham's Sledgehammer".
      His mother had kept him away from that side of the family but when he went back to AZ where a lot of his family had relocated, he felt pressured to get involved. They made out like his return to the church was a BFD but the very first thing the church asked for was his tax returns and a blank check for automatic drafts. They scoured his finances, calculated his average commissions, and kept tabs of his paypal accounts. It was creepy.

      So no, I doubt very seriously Romney has ever missed a payment to his church lol.

      • emmelemm

        Yep. Yep yep yep.

  • “John Kerry ran for president and you know his wife who has hundreds of millions of dollars. She never released her tax returns and somehow this wasn’t an issue.”

    That miiiight be because Teresa Heinz neither held nor was running for elected office, and has maintained her personal finances separate from those of her second husband? I mean, just a guess here.

    It certainly could also be that -as Mitt Romney was implying- she, as a presidential candidate, had something to hide, because she was running for president.

    • Also too, I suspect that Teresa Heinz (née Thierstein Simões-Ferreira), might not be a "natural-born" citizen.


    • Has it ever occurred to you that MITT MIGHT BE RUNNING FOR FIRST LADY?????

      • va_real

        Hence the mom jeans! It finally makes sense!

    • NellCote71

      Such an easy trap, Mitt. What about all the gazillions you transferred to Ann? So, yeah, we want to see her tax returns as well.

      • To Ann; to his sons; and who knows how else? Mitt Romney is a billionaire. He sold all his interest in Bain Capital, which was valued at $4 BILLION at the time of the sale. Yet he purportedly has a mere $250 million in his bank account. Johnny Depp has more in his bank account than THAT. So, whatever happened to the $3.75 BILLION from the sale of Bain? Where did that money go? We know he has a $100 million trust fund for his sons. Where's the rest of it?

        THAT'S why Mitt doesn't want to release his tax returns.

        • redarmyzombie


          • Credit goes to HogeyeGrex for spotting this and calling it out.

        • BerkeleyBear

          Just guessing, but Bain's valuation was almost certainly bullshit (which would be fun to make him explain for other reasons). Although it is totally possible that he cashed out a hell of a lot more than 250 million – the disclosure form bands don't go high enough to know the exact numbers, and he's still getting tens of millions a year in carried interest a decade later, so who knows what he'd really be worth on a full calculation of assets?

          • I'm not sure exactly how that works out, but some of the value on a company's books are intangible assets, such as goodwill. Now, it is quite possible that the figure of $4 BN is not substantiated, and that Romney sold the company for much less, but how much less? And doesn't he have to explain to the SEC if there is too great a divergence between the claimed value of te company as stated in its filings, and the amount for which it is sold, which also has to be stated and attested to under oath?

  • SorosBot

    Mittens just wants to hide some of his business expenses; in addition to the car elevator, he has claimed deductions for such purchases as:

    -A volcanic island, with conversion to a fully equipped lair
    -Several hundred fully armed henchman
    -Robotic battle armor
    -A giant orbital space laser
    -A wife cloning project
    -Search for all the world's deposits of kryptonite

    • bikerlaureate

      It's his sharks that would have the frickin' lasers.

    • SmutBoffin

      Don't forget the research lab dedicated to finding out a way to turn Romney into a real, live human being.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Chief Engineer Geppetto?

        Is that you?

  • TootsStansbury

    The photo "why is this man smiling"? He is smiling in surprised delight at the first thrust of that sweet sweet Koch up his arse.

  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    Hahahahah! Al Green made the Republicans take down their Obama ad because of copyright infringement!

    • PERFECT.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Even before this, Al Green was my all time favorite soul singer. This just makes him even more all-timier.

      • I suppose it's a good thing they had to take it down, and Al Green is my favorite Rev, and I'm not even a Christian, but I wish I'd seen it first.
        (Also I was at the Apollo that night so everyone else can just suck it.)

      • emmelemm

        I'MMA LET YOU FINISH, but Al Green is the greatest soul singer of all time. OF ALL TIME!

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          No, The rev is NOT going to let Mitt finish!

    • TootsStansbury

      This is so full of win.

    • flamingpdog

      Isn't this about the 932nd time this campaign that some RethugliKlan has been slapped with copyright infringment charges? Are these guys stupid (that was a rhetorical question) or just sociopath crooks who don't give a shit (also a rhetorical question)?

      • Dr. Nick Riviera

        Well, there are only so many situations you can fit "Cat Scratch Fever" into and Scott Baio doesn't sing (not that that has stopped Mitt Romney)

        • Generation[redacted]

          ♪ ♫ Charles in charge, of our days, and our nights ♪ ♫

    • Too fucking hilarious! Oh holy quacking duckshit, I'm giddy with delight!

    • Callyson


      USA! USA!

    • rocktonsam

      the Right Rev. Al Green, bitches

    • Just a guess [some of my best friends have to deal with copyright issues] but actually I think Rmoney could use the parody/critcism Fair Use thingy to justify the use since it is Barry's performance of the song that is the focus of the ad, just as Mitt's performance was in the previous ad.

      • BerkeleyBear

        You'd really have to stretch fair use for that. There's no transformative element to the use, just a straight rip off. Best argument would be if you claimed the initial clip was too short to amount to a copyright violation, so there's none in the derivative use of it (akin to sampling arguments). Which Rev. Al apparently isn't buying.

        Obama's advantage was that "America the Beautiful" is public domain.

        • Okay, I'll defer, but still wonder a little…

          If Huck runs for something again, you're saying that a political opponent would have to get permission from whoever owns the rights to "Free Bird" to use this clip in an ad?

          Maybe it was some even crazier winger who didn't like the hint of satanic amplified music, and was using this as evidence of Huck's sinful ways.

          • BerkeleyBear

            They should. If you have works in a chain (A covers B covers C) you still have to go up the chain to get all rights, unless B got a blanket license not just to use C's original but to license others to use it, too. Because C has rights in any performance of the song as a default, not just the first person to copy it. It is part of what makes copyright so valuable – at least up to a point, you can really pick and choose who does what with your works. Although obviously in the age of YouTube and international piracy that ability has been diluted somewhat.

            Now, I could see someone trying to make a First Amendment argument, on the grounds that the need to know Huck slaps the bass outweighs normal copyright protections. That is certainly what TV news outlets would argue if Al Green had challenged their use of the clip. But I think that would be pretty hard to argue in the context of a campaign commercial. There are plenty of ways to convey the horror of Huck rocking out without resorting to playing the actual performance.

          • Okay. Thanks for the replies.

        • See, Hopey is verrry clever.

          • Goddammit, Rebecca, quit deleting my perfectly innocent comments. I have NEVER made an unacceptable comment since you laid down the rules. SHEEIT.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Wait … the Mormoney campaign tried to use Obama's performance in an ad? How is proving that the president can sing, and getting panties wet, supposed to help their cause?

      • Dr. Nick Riviera

        He's coming for your white women!

        • ibwilliamsi

          Yeah… :)

        • emmelemm

          Release the chiffarobes!

          • Negropolis


      • BerkeleyBear

        Because, with a straight face they were claiming that he is only "in love" with big donors, not struggling people. Because some of Obama's bundlers (who he names as such, but Romney won't, other than registered lobbyists (who are barred from contributing to Obama by his policy)) got access and actually had their policy goals furthered. Because Romney isn't going to do anything to favor his anonymous fat cat donors – they plainly want nothing for their millions of dollars in support.

        I cannot quite figure out how they managed to do this without at least smirking. That's some damn chutzpah.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          LOL … was this before or after the Billionaire's BBQ in the Hamptons?

          • After, of course. It's insufficiently chutpahmatic if done *before.*

          • Biel_ze_Bubba


          • You're quite right. I stand corrected.

          • flamingpdog

            If only the next Wonkette party could be a billionaire's barbeque. With no billionaires actually sitting at the dinner table.

          • Now *that's* the kind of barbeque I could *really* go for. With their diet, they should have the perfect amount of marbling for a good roast.

          • flamingpdog

            I wouldn't want to be involved in the food preparation, seeing as how full of shit they are.

          • You do know that we remove ALL the innards before cooking 'em.

            Which reminds me: Go look up Kaikai Aniani. You never know when it might come in handy for a prairie dog out on teh prairie.

      • It was a very badly done ad, so they really ought to be thanking the Rev. Al for saving them from themselves.

    • MissTaken

      That just made my evening, thank you!

    • berkeleyfarm

      This life-long member of God's Frozen Peoples is smiling, nodding, and saying "Uh-huh, praise Jesus" like it's Sunday morning at the black Baptist church down the street!

      (So he didn't pay the Rev. for his work, huh? Those Mormons, always trying to get more free stuff!)

    • Dashboard Buddha

      No one puts the reverend in a corner.

    • redarmyzombie


    • Buckminster

      Thank you, Mr. Green!

  • Well, this is really his own fault: he's basically been running on being a super-smart millionaire businessman who knows about the economy (even though those two things have nothing to do with each other), but now apparently he doesn't want anybody else to talk about his business record or look too closely at the super-smart business strategies that made him his millions.

    I mean, other than that, he doesn't have much to run on, other than being a reliable empty suit for far-right interests, right? He can't really mention that he used to be a governor, because of something that rhymes with Ad-hominemeycare.

    • BarackMyWorld

      This is an exactly right point that will probably go over most people's heads.

    • va_real

      Hominy Care? Does this have something to do with cheesy grits?

      • NellCote71

        Good catch.

  • mr bojangles

    romney made hundreds of millions $$ on that fetus deal! 'who knew you could make a killing in fetuses!' romney guffawed! see schedule c of his 2001 form 1040.

  • Nostrildamus

    What about the Eggman?

    • Nothingisamiss

      I am the eggman. Well, I know the eggman.

      • flamingpdog

        I have friends who own the naming rights to Eggman Stadium.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Well, there was this blue hedgehog you see, and he was rather fleet on his fleet. Robotnik never stood a chance.

      • flamingpdog

        Dude, until I read your link, I never knew Dr. Robotnik was also known as Dr. Eggman. I spent a lot of hours playing Sonic Spinball and Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine with the pups when they were pups.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Jason Linkins on the Bain "retroactive retirement" controversy:
    Isn't being able to handle two big jobs at the same time one of the things you look for in a President, though? Surely we are not stupid enough to believe that running the Salt Lake City Olympics is a more Herculean task than running the country. I think that this whole, "Romney is innocent because he's a terrible multitasker" argument is not the best way Romney's surrogates could be defining him.

    • A lot harder than they thought, apparently.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Speaking of "cometh", I'll be you didn't realize that that is Romney's O face.

    • flamingpdog

      I'm sorry, I am NOT scrolling back up to the top of the page, thank you very much.

    • and you know this………….ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh……….never mind…

    • Oh ugh now I can never un-see it!!

    • Callyson

      Glad I was not planning on having sex anytime soon…

  • PubOption

    Romney should use the technique that Ernest Saunders used when his business dealings were questioned – claim he had Alzheimer's Disease at the time, but then recovered.

  • SheriffJoeBiden

    Snarklessly, if you draw out the analogy between Romney's tax returns and the birth certificate, might Mitt be playing the same game that Obama was when he released his long-form right around the time of the bin Laden raid? Let your opponents hem and haw for a while, then say "Fine, here ya go" as a way of highlighting their unserious nature? That's the only alternative I can think of to the prevailing idea that Romney is a terrible politician with a disqualifying tax problem.

    • BlueStateLibel

      Maybe, but it seem if you're running against an incumbent president, and the economy is weak, do you really want everyone's attention focused like a laser on your tax returns? I have a feeling that, aside from the investments in child sex rings, those tax returns are going show that Mitt and accountants took advantage of every little tax loophole under the sun, and it's going to disgust a lot of Americans.

      • NellCote71

        But Romney wants us to focus like a laser on jobs. So let's do that. Outsourced jobs, jobs lost to leveraged buy-outs, diminishing jobs in Massachusetts during a certain "job creator's" term.

    • Chichikovovich

      The big difference is that there is nothing interesting in a birth certificate. Maybe the hospital's name is misspelled? There is all sorts of stuff in a tax return as massive as Romney's is likely to be, that you can talk about.

      • Nothing interesting in a birth certificate? How about the fact that it's from Booga-Booga Memorial Hospital in Bone-Thru-The-Nose KENYA?

        Also, birthers are not racist. It's not their fault the President is a wog.

    • I just don't see him being that confident or assured or strategically-minded. So far, he has been reacting, not acting, all along. He's clumsy and stupid, and Obama is dancing circles around him effortlessly. He's already lost this election. Take a look at what his campaign has released in response to Obama's. Oh, wait, you can't, it got yanked for copyright violations!

      • Nothingisamiss

        Mittborg, you do give me hope.

        • Thank you, sweetie. (Hugs NothingisAmiss) We're all in this together, till it's over.

      • The guy is not stupid. We assume all Republicans are stupid; they aren't. (oh God, not that I want to get into a long discussion of the nature of Mitt's dysfunction. But it's not about intelligence.)

        • It's not that he's stupid about things that require some intellectual ability. It's that he's stupid about how human beings work.

          • redarmyzombie

            A problem most sociopaths contend with.

          • There is a lot about Romney that seems indicative of *wrongness.* His affect is completely off, he smiles when he should be looking serious, frowns when he should be smiling, and overall, seems to be unable to *connect* with humans in some weird way. How could any sensible human being NOT know that hiding something will have people FAR more interested than exposing that same something? He seems to be unable to pick up on those kinds of cues. Is he a sociopath? I don't know. I'm not qualified to make that kind of assessment. But there is certainly something very wrong with that man.

          • redarmyzombie

            It's the fact that he's one part Harkonnen, two parts Pod Person.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Well, I am of the opinion that he's a bit of an asperger patient. He knows how to maximize his numbers, and put them in a numbered account. Numbers are his friend. People? They confuse him.

            Why should he worry about people? They're just numbers on the balance sheet.

          • He should worry about people because he wants them to do something that will benefit HIM. When you want something from other people, you have to learn to *motivate* them to *give* it to you. Because, as history has shown us, repeatedly, it is VERY difficult to TAKE something from an unwilling party, but very, very easy to take EVERYthing, if need be from a *willing* party.

            How the fuck did this guy get people to work for him? Did he just bully them into it? Or buy them? It sure as hell wasn't his charming personality, or what substitutes therefor.

          • redarmyzombie

            If there's one thing people like him attract, it's ass-kissers.

          • Leeches and sycophants. No wonder no one's stepping up to defend him. He's 60, and he doesn't have a single friend who will willingly testify to his character. How sad.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Then HEEZ DOIN IT RONG. When Barack Obama was a mere candidate he had a US passport, had had to prove his citizenship in order to go to college, get various jobs, pay taxes, and even get a government paycheck (in fact I'll bet he had to fill out a W4 when he became president). So the birfers' premise was idiotic to begin with, and everyone but them knew it.

      Mitt, on the other hand, has made public 22 fewer years of tax returns than he gave to John McCain's campaign when being vetted for his VP. Thus he's the one who looks like he's trying to hide something — so why he'd try to play it up is odd.

      Not that I'm saying Mitt's campaign isn't completely tone-deaf — they could be. But it's hard to play that as a net positive either.

    • BerkeleyBear

      I keep trying to write a nuanced reply and it keeps getting eaten by the admin. The difference is Obama's team tried to cut off the birthers early on and took extraordinary measures to do so (releasing COLB, getting statements on record from state officials about the original docs, getting Congress to pass a resolution about his birth). It was enough to scare McCain from embracing the attack, and the long form only got dropped when Trump tried to take it from fringe attack to national spotlight. By comparison, Romney is refusing to take basic countermeasures in response to a direct hit, instead trying to change the subject. That would make any subsequent hit back awkward and weak, even if it was factual – which is a huge if.

      • I do bleev you done nailed it, BerkeleyBear.

        And methinks we need to have a word with the Editrix about this ludicrously tight-arsed admin script. It's eating things it has no business eating.

        • flamingpdog

          Silly boy, it's OBAMA's fault!

          • What, the SCRIPT? Dude, put down the bong. (Puts down bong)

    • Negropolis

      Except that this tax filings in no way don't have something incriminating in them. Not one chance. There was absolutely nothing incriminating about the birth certificate. Romney's problem is so many more times complicated. I don't even think he fully knows what he owns and where all of his money is. He has people to do that.

      You don't have that many investments and that much money and that many tentacles reaching into everything and there not be something at least embarrassing about it.

  • This is wonderful. POTUS couldn't have asked for better. He'll keep refusing to release, and the outcry will grow louder and louder and when he loses in November, he'll blame all the sycophants and yes-men he surrounds himself with to keep insulated from the hoi polloi.

  • gross. that picture is gross.

    he looks like a donkey, braying, which is odd for a republican.

    • Chichikovovich

      More even than gross, it's weird. As if he's making a desperate effort to seem to be letting off a hearty laugh, but it's beginning to be overwhelmed by something else: dread that a mistake has just been made? Uncertainty about what will look natural? Sudden realization that what he thought was hot chocolate was actually a powerful laxative?

      It's as if the camera caught someone at a moment of transition: a man laughing with genuine amusement who suddenly sees a pack of hundreds of wolves rushing toward him with rabid eyes.

      • Chich … you do realize, don't you, that some of us have … very *active* imaginaAAAAARGHHHHH!!!

      • Dammit! Now I have to scroll back to the top of the page!

      • On the Mittens campaign bus, they call that "breakfast."

      • James Michael Curley

        The Diane Arbus look.

        • OMG, dude. That actually even *looks* like Romney.

          • James Michael Curley

            You should see Anderson Cooper’s baby picture – as done by Diane Arbus.

          • I'm off to look for it, dood.

          • James Michael Curley

            Anderson Cooper's Baby PictureArbus took very few pictures of her subject and the question as to where the original negative is (or at least years ago was) a mystery. Gloria Vanderbilt refused to allow Arbus to publish the photo and relented a year or so after Arbus died.

          • Thank you. She was an incredible photographer.

  • Fox n Fiends

    Dear Romney Campaign,

    I vote. Its resonating.

  • theshasta1

    I can only imagine how bad it could be. It could be a lower than 15% tax rate, maybe 10%, possibly 0%. It be great if “ROMNEY GOT A BAILOUT!”

    • NellCote71

      You are getting warmer, warmer. But I underestimate Amerika. I was already outraged about the less than 15%. If only I could live off my investments, gutted in 2008, thank you very much, and just pay 15%.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Too bad the Nebraska delegate issue was settled in quiet rooms … the folks at the Tampa GOPfest might be wishing they had a second candidate on the ballot after all.

  • theshasta1


  • owhatever

    I have complied with all relative Cayman Island law. That law says you cannot behead roosters to the sound of conga drums on Thursdays, between the hours of 5 and 6 a.m.

  • HogeyeGrex

    Well, let's see. How much do you think he'd get for selling out of being the sole stockholder of Bain, which was worth about $4 billion at the time?

    I going to say… A Fucking Lot. A Huge, Ginormous, Absurd Fucking Lot.

    He would have been paid said Huge Fucking Lot sometime between 1999 and 2002, I suppose. Who wants to guess how much Mr. Smug Unaccountable there claimed on his taxes?

    I'm going to say… A Lot. Rather A Great Lot, even, but nowhere near A Huge Fucking Lot.

    I think the details of his buyout and where that money went is as interesting as a few tax returns. From sole owner of a $4B company to ~$200M claimed net worth? Either something is seriously fishy there or he's not much of a financial Geeeenius.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Geeenius? This is a guy who put $100 mil into an IRA, on which he will have to pay ordinary income tax — no 15% special rate, even on the capital gains and dividends. (That's assuming he doesn't get a chance to change the tax laws…)

      But yeah, what happened to the several billion that Bain was worth, when he owned it outright, is a reeeeally interesting question.

      • NellCote71

        Let us see Ann's returns. Too. Also.

    • I want to thank you very much for pointing this out. I couldn't remember who wrote it, so I failed to attribute and give credit where credit was due. Apologies.

      • HogeyeGrex

        You're welcome. No worries. I just hope the question gets the attention it deserves.

        Spread it far and wide. And get the word out on that Romney thing, too.

        • Thank you.

          Oh, you betcha. Most people don't want to think long enough to understand all the Bain and tax return issues. But even an idiot can look at these numbers and tell that something ain't right.

  • The Romney campaign believes the issue of Romney’s returns isn’t resonating with voters as much as the Obama campaign would like…

    Maybe not, but you add it to some of the other issues and a narrative of Romney as a rich, out-of-touch empty suit who stashed his millions in the same offshore tax haven where the mobbed-up lawyers in The Firm were hiding the Mafia's money emerges, and that ain't a pretty picture.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Like an empty barrel put over the voters' heads, and hammered on with a baseball bat, it's resonating.

    • It's resonating WAY more than the Romney camp thinks it is.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        And Obama is having way too much fun to put down the bat any time soon.

        • It makes me want to giggle like a Florida Lt. Governor.

  • mavenmaven

    Wait for the new Fox news talking point: Abolish the IRS!

    • berkeleyfarm

      I was thinking more Rmoney pandering to the base about how the melanin-enhanced folks were picking on him again.

  • How is babby incinerated? How Bain maek profit?

    • Hey, Dok. I left a comment over on the site for ya. I hope you don't mind, but I also tweeted it to some friends, in case anyone's feeling loaded down with munniez.

      • Golly, I sure would be horribly upset if someone did something to promote my begging site to potential donors! :-)

        Yer a good egg. THANKS!!!!

        • I care, you know that. I just wish I had MOAR, dood.

  • W88

    Someone in the Romney camp needs to tell Willard that both McCain and Kerry lost the election.

    • HogeyeGrex


  • ibwilliamsi

    Where's Barb?

    • She's got visitors from out of town, and she's very busy taking care of them. Family's fine, kids and grandkids are fine, she's just saddled with visitors. Should be back any day now.

    • Barb

      I give you a thumbs up ibewilliam for noticing that I was away, lol.
      I will keep Twitter and Wonkette open and I will think of some Whitney Houston sond that will be "ours."
      What the fuck! Is that an avatar from Ab Fab? You are my new best friend.

  • CalamityJames

    There's a good reason that the Lord High Hair-gel's campaign can attack Obummer for his cronyism, and that reason is that Obummer released the names of his bundlers. You're welcome.

    • Chichikovovich

      Ben oui, but I think this may be a bit of looking ahead by the Obama people.

      [It's possible to go overboard on the "11-dimensional chess" idea but I think this is one case where it's appropriate.]

      Obama's people expected Romney to hold out on the tax returns – he's been doing it for so long, plus the political campaign world is a small one, and leaky. Maybe they heard things ultimately tracing back to the McCain camp about what they found in the two decades of tax returns Mitt gave them. But anyway, they expected him to stonewall, and so he'd look like he was hiding something.

      Put the issue of donors in play, releasing donors' names and so inviting the Romnoids to make it an issue, allows them to counter-attack and reinforce the impression that Romney is a man who has a lot of things he wants to hide.

      • bobbert

        I think it is very unlikely that Rmoney's history, even if we see it somewhat fully, will actually contain significant illegalities. I'm sure he has very good tax lawyers. What I suspect his history would show, if fully revealed, is relentless and inventive use of every loophole and bit of bleeding-edge financial hocus pocus ever created. He is pretty much forced to stonewall, because his whole brand identity (invalid though it may be) is that he has been a successful "businessman". Each revelation that his great wealth has come not from "business", but from financial engineering, is going to erode some of his support among, say, those people whose IRAs and 401(k)s haven't been doing so swell recently.

        I don't even think this is particularly multi-dimensional, but it is being very well executed so far. And, as you point out, releasing the Obama bundlers' identities enhances the contrast between the relative transparency of the Obama campaign and the secretiveness of Rmoney. There is a slight risk, but unless Obama has some really bad quids we don't know about yet, I don't think the crony capitalism attack will gain much traction.

        • CalamityJames

          …yeah, and he has a small wiener. Butt secks.

        • BerkeleyBear

          Oh, I'm all but certain that Romney didn't do anything knowingly illegal, and his tax advisers have the written opinion letters (*bullshit* cough cough) to prove it. At the same time, I'm guessing there's enough shuffling and sorting and leveraging and other exceptionally cute behavior that normal folks have no idea goes on and the very wealthy want to make sure normal folks don't know about that all the networks (other than Fox) could spend a month doing specials on it.

          The nadir in my own limited experience was when, because of a series of reorganizations for tax purposes, the witness I was defending at a deposition honestly didn't know who he worked for anymore. The org chart for the company by then looked like the graph explaining a series of chemical reactions in complex molecules, it was so messed up. But it saved the company from paying state income tax in 49 states and DC (or so their tax people thought at the time) so it was worth it.

        • Chichikovovich

          Oh, I'm sure there's nothing strictly illegal. As you say, he's got plenty of very good lawyers. He's a Harvard Law grad himself. But also, as you note there's no doubt lots of stuff that exposes the side of American mega-bucks capitalism that look really bad Also, there are things that 0.001% 'ers would prefer not to see discussed except in "quiet rooms" and I expect there are lots of them. Some year when he paid an effective 5% or 3% or even 0% in taxes, for example? (Especially embarrassing given the relentless Fox news drumbeat about "The 47% [or whatever] of Americans who pay no taxes!! Have no skin in the game! blah blah") Or maybe it will document cases where he earned millions from a company that was being looted into bankruptcy. Stuff like that.

          Also, any enterprise that huge is going to have a lot of connections. We've already heard about the medical waste disposal company [Murdered baby burners!!]. Remember that we are dealing with one-note obsessives who don't just want to shut down Planned Parenthood – they want to shut down any charity that so much as participates in a single event that has Planned Parenthood as one of many co-sponsors. If that's how distant a connection can be and still be trouble, then Mitt's business dealings are sure to reveal many, many of those.

      • Mittens' counter-attack to the Obama ad has zero traction, because the identity of Obama's donors is not a big issue with anybody — barely even with the hardcore haters. The identity of Mitt's donors, however, plays into the perception of who Mitt is and which class of overfed sharks his policies support. So Mitt counter-attacked with a vulnerability, because he hasn't disclosed his own bundlers. You really wonder if he is even trying to win this thing.

  • Limeylizzie

    OT Hey Wonkette close friends, the neurologist thinks Jack did NOT have a stroke but rather an episode
    of Transient global amnesia , which sounds exactly right as he cannot remember last week, I am lucky he remembers me! So, they are doing more tests to rule out seizures and any potentially stroke-like things, but he says it is very unlikely that this will happen again, it can be caused by , and I quote," excessive exercising, including sexual intercourse". It's all my fault!

    • Nothingisamiss

      I see people with TGA, and it's very frightening. I'm sure you've beeen worried, and I'm glad he'll be ok.

      What I did not know is that it can be caused by high intensity sex.

      Maybe you should be the nazi guard next time?

      • Limeylizzie

        I was terrified , he left these messages that were so troubling he kept saying “I don't know why I am here, I don't know what I am doing' but he knew enough to call me and he sounded lucid, not having any speech problems. it was so crazy and I was in NYC and he is in LA, but he couldn't remember taking me to the airport and he has basically lost the last week and a half. I called LAPD and they did a wellness check but he wouldn't let the Para-medics in so we had to get a friend to take him to the hospital. It's my birthday on Wednesday btw, so what a great excuse he has! Is this common, TGA? Are you a doctor/nurse?

        • Er … OK, my timing sucks, but Happy Birfday, Lizzie.

          • Limeylizzie

            Thanks darling

        • Barb

          Sister of mine, this was the post that caused me to snap out of my strange feeling of duty to my unwanted out-of-town house guests and come back to you. You have my email address and my phone number and you have my undivided attention on Twitter.

          Elizabeth, my heart is always with you. It is now past midnight and I wish you Happy Birthday! You dazzle me more than the brightest star in the sky. I appreciate you for your talents, your compassion, your brilliance, and your humor. You are my heart, thank you for being you. You are a rose among the thorns.

    • bobbert

      Wow. You can fuck your brains out?

      Glad to hear all is (relatively) well.

      • Limeylizzie

        I am awesomeness in the sheets! It can also be caused by statins, he is on them, and by depression, he has just quit smoking and has been very anxious and depressed but I am going with the 'I fucked him into oblivion” cause.

        • Get him a vape and some weed. That way, neither of you will freak when he has some meory problems, it'll lift his depression and anxiety, and he'll enjoy sex just as much, if not more.

        • va_real

          I'm glad he's better now. There is some research that CoQ10 can protect you from the mitochondrial damage statins can do. Fish oil also seems to be anti-inflammatory/ neuroprotective/ anti-depressive, especially the EPA factor. You may want to ask his doctor?

          Happy early birthday!

        • Extemporanus

          Statin sheets have caused me to slip up a few times, too.

        • James Michael Curley

          Ask the doctor about a sonogram of the carotid arteries as dislodged atherosclerotic plaque can cause a type of mini-stroke usually called transient ischemic attack marked as different from the usual mini-stroke as not causing permanent damage. Key word here is statins, not as a cause but he is taking them because he has high cholesterol. Carotid artery atherosclerotic cholesterol is very easy to diagnose and treat. Does or did he smoke?

          • Limeylizzie

            He has been on statins for years and he quit smoking about 3 months ago, I will ask him to ask the doctor about the sonogram, he is in Cedars-Sinai in LA and they are pretty good there.They are doing more tests this morning, so they can add that to the list but the neurologist really was pretty sure it was TGA.

          • James Michael Curley

            Good that he is doing well.I think that’s the hospital I spent a night in when my V6 Moto Guzzi and the Mulholland Drive had a disagreement.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Best sex of your life — and then you can't remember it?
        I know life is unfair, but really … that's just not right.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Hey, glad it might be a one-off. I've had a couple of neurological problems which apparently aren't much, but it's frightening to think there's something wrong with one's or one's loved one's brain.

      That said, cut it out with the excessive intercourse thing, dammit — some of us figure if you've gotta go, that's one of the best ways, and we don't want our sweetheart getting the wrong idea, okay?

    • Good to hear.

      Hmmm, global transient amnesia. Have to remember that.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I think I saw what you did there.

    • flamingpdog

      Finally, something bad that's NOT Obama's fault!

      • Limeylizzie


      • Just wait until Fox reports it: "Immigrant Sex Fiend Causes Medical Problems for Job Creator Spouse, OBAMACARE FAILS TO HELP HIM"

      • Chichikovovich

        I'm not so sure. That Al Green video is said to have put many women in the mood. Many times.


      Your husband had a stroke? Jesus!

      It is not all your fault. Please be OK, both of you. (Swears off sex for life)

      • Limeylizzie

        It was madness! Just go through all my comments for the day, looks like it wasn't a stroke, but this kind of temporary but total amnesia, he has no memory at all of the last week and when it is happening you cannot remember what happened immediately prior to what you are doing now, it lasted about 8 hours.

        • Dear god. Will do. Best to Jack, and to you too.

        • BerkeleyBear

          That would be terrifying. There's nothing worse than having something bad happen to a loved one and being unable to be there. Glad to hear it may be treatable and/or a one off, and that he had friends to help him.

          Oh, and happy birthday.

    • berkeleyfarm

      Didn't see the original … that's super scary. Thankful that it appears to be working out. Keeping you in my thoughts!

    • Steverino247

      A guy on my high school football team got hit in the head so hard all he could remember was his girlfriend's measurements. Glad to hear Pussy Galore is a medical excuse. Very glad he's OK!

    • OK, I read it all. Geesh. I'm so glad he's OK. I take it you're back home with him now?

      Best to you both. Here's hoping everything works out fine for him, and please let him know that I hold him directly responsible for my now-nonexistant sex life.

    • Jesus Lizzie, so sorry to hear that it happened at all, and relieved that the prognosis is relatively upbeat! Sending good hopeful secularist thoughts your way!

    • radio-of-owls

      I suppose it would be inappropriate at this juncture to re-state my eternally dirty thoughts about you, mon amour. We'll just put that back in the file cabinet under S for soif insatiable for now.

      Seriously, I'm glad things appear to have worked out. In the event that you need a test subject for any experiments involving the Fucked Him Into Oblivion Hypothesis, do drop me a line old thing.

      whirrr whirrr

    • Extemporanus

      Lizzie, as someone who's own synapses short circuit disconcertingly often — asymptomatic anomic-like aphasia is a wordsmith's worst fiend — I sincerely wish you're husband nothing butt the breast.

    • Chichikovovich

      Hi Lizzie – I missed the posts on this – what a terrible experience for both of you, and thank heavens it doesn't appear to be what it first appeared to be. Like all of us here, I send my love to you and LimeyJack, and hope that from now on the course of true love runs smooth.

      I had been a heavy smoker when I quit smoking 25 years ago, and I had several occasions when I lost brief chunks of memory. Nothing as serious as this, and no accompanying disorientation, but similar. And there have been no discernable permanent effects.

      (I'm not a doctor, of course, and this one vague anecdote has no real scientific weight, but perhaps it can be comforting to know that things like this can happen without lasting traces.)

      • Limeylizzie

        Thanks Chichikovich , it was a very , very frightening day, especially for Jack , he was in LA and I came back to NY on Sunday, so I wasn't even there when it happened, not sure what I could have done much differently as it appears he went driving in the middle of the night for about 6 hours, he did call me a few times and leave messages and I listened to them on Monday when I woke up and called LAPD as he was obviously disorientated.Anyway, we now await all the test results to rule out anything else, but the neurologist seemed pretty certain it was this Transient Global Amnesia. Jack, who is an artist, was actually quite excited about doing a series of paintings about it!

        • Chichikovovich

          Yes, there is that positive dimension to be sure. For an artist who strives to give voice and images to human experience, this kind of glimpse can be a revelation. I'm sure that the artwork that comes out of this will be spectacular.

          [When I was a li'l shaver I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. A crummy book in all sorts of ways, but it does have some breathtaking first-person descriptions of inner experiences. The author Persig had undergone electroshock therapy for depression, in the days when the treatment was especially crude, and it left him missing huge chunks of memory. There is a breathtaking passage describing a moment when due to some tri_gger a significant block of remembrances tumbled into place. All those parts of his past suddenly, in a flash, alive for him again. And though I didn't minimize the awfulness of the electroshock, and the depression, and the memory loss, I was jealous of him for having had that experience that I could only imagine through a glass darkly.]

          • LagunaB

            I also read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and my take was different. I lost the memory of an afternoon for 28 years. It took 5 years to retrieve. The process changed every molecule in my body, all past relationships (I no longer talk to my family) and is something I would not wish on anyone. The few people I tell, call me strong, courageous, etc. Most just can't comprehend so I never talk about it. You don't want to go through something like that. Be thankful you haven't had to.

          • Chichikovovich

            Sorry – I wasn't clear, and I regret that by putting it the way I did trivialized the struggle to regain the loss of memories, and the pain and it involves.I was saying that I would like the experience of memories clicking back, but not the rest, in the way that people say that they would love to be a professional athlete – thinking only of the superficially good parts and forgetting the hard work that is needed.But your message makes me see that I was a thoughtless thing to think, and I'm sorry about that.—

          • LagunaB

            No need to apologize, I wasn't offended. I know you were giving solace to LL.
            From reading Wonkette, I perceive you as kind, thoughtful, intelligent and tall.
            Now if you haven't read Jill Bolte Taylor, PhD book, My Stroke of Insight, I recommend it.
            And, yeah, the memories coming back were one hell of a (multiple) kick. Unfortunately you have no control over them. They blindside you with a word spoken, seeing someone. And you find yourself in the blink of the eye, hanging on for dear life and trying to get somewhere safe. You have to ride the wave to get to the end.

            This is open share Wednesday, right?

          • (Hugs LagunaB) Doesn't matter what day it is. Thank you for reminding us all of our humanity.

  • Troubledog

    C'mon now, people, it's not like they want his birth certificate or anything.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Ya'll have probably already seen this

    But I larfed.

    • That was so wonderful I just tweeted it to the WHOLE WORLD.

  • Negropolis

    Hell, they've been asking for Obama's birth certificate for years. Turnabout is fair play. Show us your long-form tax filings you vacillating, two-faced, ethically-compromised anchor baby bastard.

    • That is a simply delightful and satisfying string of expletives. Kudos, dude.

  • lizunyan

    holy shit guys, i saw this thing on the internet about mitt romney's tax returns… that sex trafficking thing might really be true…

    • Nice work. He's taking money from Sheldon Adelson, who certainly knows all about sex trafficking.

  • Negropolis

    Release more tax returns? He's running for president for pete's sake!

  • Negropolis

    BTW, isn't it just awesome that the central villain in the block-busting Batman movie coming out in a few days is Bane? It's just too perfect.

    • It's … (gasp) almost as if they … PLANNED it!!

    • It's not going to be spun that way by rightwing reviewers. Bane and his mob represent Occupy, Bruce Wayne represents the Noble 1%. The only question is which dickhead pundit publishes this drivel first.

      • We'll see, Chet. I think the punches Prez O landed on Mitt haven't completed their work.

      • Negropolis

        After I made that comment, I see it's become an issue, today, with rightwingers seeming to view the movie as some conspiracy to get Obama elected. lol That they are whining shows that they are losing.

  • redarmyzombie

    Hey guys, did you hear? Romney got a government bailout and used the proceeds to fund his child slavery operation in the Bahamas!

    (this is waaaay too much fun!)

    • *You're* certainly having way too much fun with it! (Hugs the girl)

      • redarmyzombie

        Guy. I have dangly bits. But don't worry, people make that mistake ALL the time.
        (my dad mistook me for my mother over the phone)

        • (Hugs the sweet guy) Sorry, sweetie. You're so *nice,* it's hard to believe you're a dude.

          • redarmyzombie

            Thanks MittBorg! I credit my friends, and my parents who escaped from the Jehovah's Witnesses (nasty group, that one is)

            I should also add, that even though it's hard to truly get my moxie up, I can be a real *BITCH* when need be.

          • No, thank YOU, sweetie. You're the best.

          • redarmyzombie

            D'aaawww, shucks!… *blushes*

  • I've retroactively come up with every comment on this thread. So give me all of your whore points, right now.

  • I was really surprised to see Soylent Green Body Disposal Services and the Darwin Land Amusement Parks as two of the companies Bain Capital bought out in 2001!

    • You're kidding, right? RIGHT?

    • Steverino247

      Soylent Green is people of the right height retroactively consumed and…fuck it. I'm going to bed.

      • G'night, dude.

        • Steverino247

          Fuck! It's morning already….

          • Geezus, I just can't keep up with you young sprouts.

          • Steverino247

            Not a young sprout. Any number of honorably gained wounds tend to wake me up before the rest of me wants to join them.

            You might say that I keep on ticking, but could use some licking. Hahaha!

          • My gratitude for your service. And I mean that most sincerely. Knowing that you worked to help abused children is a huge part of that also.

  • lulzmonger

    Tax returns are the Völkischer Beobachters of Liberal Fashionism.

  • Makes me wish I had gone ahead with Bain Capital on my plan to market microwavable Lindsay's Original Carolina Ham Biscuits.

  • Barb

    Jesus, tap dancing, Christ! I leave you bitches alone for one minute and you manage to have fun without me. That's a demerit for all of you. Now I have to leave Twitter and Wonkette opened on my computer or I will show up in bell bottom jeans on the first day of school and you will all have skinny jeans on.

    Trust me, the "whale tail" of my thong looks crazy with bell bottoms, I'm just sayin'. The tube top will always remain a classic though.

    • redarmyzombie

      BARB! We missed you.!

      • Barb

        HoneyBunchesOf Oats, I missed you too. Someone emailed me and mentioned your name and I felt like crying.
        I'm on vacation and I am being held hostage by out-of-town, unannounced family member visitors and I am in HELL.
        Love you, Red Army.

        • redarmyzombie

          I feel thy pain, Barb. I wish you luck with the guests (or freeloaders, depending how much you like them) It was probably MittBorg that mentioned me, he was giving us a heads-up to how you were doing (By the by, I'm sooo glad it was family visiting and not something more serious!). Anyhoo, I hope you get to enjoy that vacation. Let us know how it goes!

          Love ya too!(and Jeffers, of course)

          • Barb

            Baby Mina is home with Crickette (I call her that because she bugs the shit out of her sister, not out of some whitey nickname for "Christine.")

            I'm going to spend the next seven days of Jeff's vacation doing what I want to do and not worrying about what anyone thinks of me. Twitter and Wonkette is open and I am going to do what makes me happy.

          • redarmyzombie

            I'm glad to hear it, Barb. And good for you! You enjoy yourself, onlookers be damned!
            "Ex-CUZE me, can't you see I'm BUSY?!"

            Oh, and here's a little ditty I think you'll enjoy:

          • Barb

            I loved the video, thanks. This should be prerequisite for every woman who thinks that they look good with a nose piercing. This is what a lovely girl looks like when it is all said and done with.

          • redarmyzombie

            Glad you liked it! And, speaking strictly as a gay man, I have a serious crush on that woman!

          • flamingpdog

            I really gotta brush up on my Frenchican.

          • viennawoods13

            You go, girl!

          • ibwilliamsi

            Oh, good. :) I'm glad to hear that Mina is well. You had me concerned there for a minute!

    • HEY! How did YOU sneak in here?

      • Barb

        Hobbes, did you think I wouldn't crack from the pressure? Hi, I am "Perfect Barbie" and I never surf the web and act like a chimp? I can't pretend that I don't swear and that I don't smoke and that I don't have a completely made up case of glaucoma. I slam Diet Pepsi and coffee in the morning and I take allergy pills to sleep. I pretend to have a "hops and barley deficient diet" to excuse my love of a good oats soda.

        I dance like an epileptic and I am shamelessly, madly in love with my husband. I'm pretty sure that my left breast is beating my right breast in the race to my belly button.

        I really hate surprise visitors.

        • Damn, it's good to have you back. I just wish ID wouldn't force me to scroll through two fucking pages to see your comments.

          Go for it, Calvin. Burn the whole fucking house down.

        • Jeffer

          I love you honey!

    • Callyson

      Good to see you back…I was wondering what was up. Glad to hear Mina is at home too.

      And T=the visitors will be gone long before the lulz over the election go away, so hang in there…

      • Barb

        Callyson, you make my heart smile, thanks!
        Chrissy wrote this cool email about Mina's surgeon:

        Dr. Christian Pizarro, Cardiothoracic surgeon and director of the Nemours Cardiac Center, Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children
        Countries visited: Chile, Peru, Argentina and Mexico

        Pediatric heart surgery had never before been done in Arequipa, Peru, before Dr. Christian Pizarro arrived last January as part of a humanitarian mission.
        By the time he left 10 days later, 16 children had been operated on to treat problems ranging from septal defects — sometimes called a hole in the heart — to more complicated cases like tetralogy of Fallot, a rare but life-threatening congenital problem made up of four separate heart defects.
        Pizarro, who was born in Chile and attended medical school there, wanted to help as many children as he could on the mission. But it was just as important to him to teach local surgeons how to perform some of the procedures themselves.
        So while Pizarro took the lead in most of the surgeries — including three he did as soon as he got off the plane — he made sure the local surgeons were there to assist. Eventually, they were the ones performing heart surgery, with Pizarro walking them through the delicate process.
        "We train these native physicians so there is someone local who can help," said Pizarro, who volunteered for the trip as part of Hearts with Hope, a foundation aiming to teach Latin American medical professionals how to treat and care for children with heart problems.
        "The goal is to leave something in place," he said.
        This is the man I would vote for for POTUS. Men and women like this should be leading this country and every country of the world.

        • BerkeleyBear

          While I understand the sentiment, tread lightly there, Barb. My father in law runs an amazing non-governmental training for medical repair techs (he's repeatedly been the first guy to offer a decent training course in various places like Ghana, India and Haiti). Great guy, great ethics, but about the last guy I'd want trying to deal with government issues – he wouldn't last a week without getting fed up and walking off. Plus, he couldn't do his job.

    • James Michael Curley

      Tube tops are fine unless they are reminiscent of an empty Crest tube.

    • bobbert

      Good to hear from you. Your abrupt departure on Friday had us all a little worried.

      Even the worst house-guests have to leave sometime.

  • Extemporanus

    I just retroactively enlarged my p-ness in under three days!

    And now, by following my proven upfist generating system of extortion, numerology, and Polaroids, you can too!

    It's simple, shameless, and shockingly effective. Ask me how…today!

    Masturbators are standing by…

    • va_real


      • Extemporanus

        No, though I do keep the bulk of my p-ness in an off-whore account.

    • bobbert

      Do cunningly shaped skipping stones figure into this system?

  • midnighttoker69

    So do I understand this correctly? "Credible sources" claim that Romney is hiding his tax returns in an elaborate conspiracy to hide the fact that he has, for years, been involved with child pornography/sex trafficking? I must immediately post this info to every website I can. The world must know the truth.

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      You know, I read that on the internet just today. These rumours are swirling and there's no smoke without a child-trafficking ring.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    This is good news for Sarah Palin's ego.

  • DahBoner

    Government don't know nothing about unborn baby disposal!

    That's why we need someone with business experience, like Hitler….

    • ibwilliamsi


  • sewollef

    It also seems that Bloomberg View [the magazine/company] has bitch-slapped Rmoney too.

    Hence this headline: Romney’s Bain Yielded Private Gains, Socialized Losses.

    It's brutal. Referencing Romney's tenure at Bain throughout the 90's where he sacrificed company after company while reaping massive fees and bonuses. Made an all the more exciting read because it's Bloomberg. Yowsa!

    • Thank you for this!

      "Forty-to-one leverage is 'casino capitalism' that hugely magnifies gains and losses…"


  • This was going to be a reply to Mittborg on the issue of Romney's intelligence, but I'll pull it out of that thread in hopes of getting it in before the caravan moves on.

    My take on Romney: He is a smart, privileged, guy born with zero obstacles to a great life, and so he hasn't had to develop the sincerity of core principles, the way his father appears to have done. He is, deep-down, an asshole, struggling with the desire to be well-liked and to be perceived as the square-headed good guy cutout he looks like. Profit has always over-ruled concern for the common good in his business life, and ambition has over-ruled the idea having a consistent core in his political life.

    Usually, religion provides at least a semblance of moral conviction for a politician, but it doesn't appear that Mormonism is anything but the expected social norm for Mitt, which he dutifully supports with his excess largesse. His "assholism" might actually be a reaction against being stuck in that culture. He knows that Mormonism is looked at as Anti-Christian by his current would-be Base, as little better than Scientology by the intelligentsia, and plain weird by everyone else. So he can't strike the religious poses other candidates can — in fact he is in panic and dread of ever discussing Mormonism at all.

    The only expression of some kind of noblesse oblige that he can point to is running the Winter Olympics, because talking about his duties as a Mormon bishop is political death. But really, who cares about that? The Olympics are an orgy of corporate marketing opportunities, not the great patriotic crusade he would like them to be. They benefit a few athletes and a lot of conglomerates. So his involvement reinforces his soullessness. A mope like W. Bush at least had the fig leaf of lame, stay-at-home military service.

    Now, his ambition is suffering the consequences of his decisions, behavior, background and career. And I would guess that he is being advised by people who don't have consistent core convictions either — why would someone with strong principles want to work for him? So the entire campaign apparatus flounders in poor decisions and inept responses because of the traps the candidate has put them in. And he knows it — that's why he has had that insincere, panicked expression on his face for months.

    • Billmatic

      Romney really reminds me of John Kerry in a lot of ways. This presidential cycle should be a slam dunk with the right candidate but they're stuck with this milquetoast fraud. I think it's for different reasons of course, Kerry wasn't always as privileged as he is now.

      Anyway, I think Romney's handlers are doing their best in a political climate where they can wave flags around and scream lunacy to inflame the teabags but they're wary of doing so because it'll cost them the election. Plus they have a milquetoast fraud that almost nobody in his own party wanted during the primary. I mean I just don't really ever see this guy being electable unless it comes out tomorrow that Obama actually is a secret terrorist from Kenya with an underground lair.

      • John Kerry was, and is, an essentially decent uptight east-coaster. He did a lot of things that required courage, including serving in VN and speaking out against the war later. While he also comes from the privileged class, and lacks the ability to connect, he's not a conniving, two-faced, lying sod, unlike Romney.

        But I think you're spot-on about Romney and his handlers.

      • Negropolis

        I think the Kerry-Romney comparisons are skin deep. The campaigns and situations are similar, but they are two totally different people. To me, Kerry volunteering to go to 'Nam (blows my mind) is where they completely diverge, in my mind.

    • Brilliant, as always, Chet. Thanks. May I use this? I will, of course, attribute.

      • Oh, OK. Stop trying to disarm me with niceness!

        • Oh, you know you love me, quit kvetching.

    • va_real

      I agree with what you say here, but as I learn a little more about his wife, I feel that in many ways she is the reason he's in public life. She is extremely ambitious & a politician's daughter as well as politician's daughter-in-law. She made a foray into local politics herself, but after a few bad stumbles (such as an interview when she talked of being 'poor' when she & Mittens 1st got married), I think she decided her ambition needed a proxy so she wouldn't be in the hot seat herself. And if there's one single quality that her husband possesses, I'd have to say it's malleability…

      • Negropolis

        I don't know. It's always been the story that Romney got into politics to suceed where his father failed. This is not even to mention that Romney's mother ran for office here in Michigan and was roundly defeated in a Republican primary because she was simply seen as an extension of George. I really don't think it's Ann that has to push him to politics. I think this is his natural setting.

        • va_real

          Politics is his natural setting in the sense that he & Ann both grew up with it. But clearly he is not a natural politician & neither is she. I don't doubt that there was some general expectation that he would go into the 'family business' of politics, but many children grow up to confound their familial expectations if they have the self-knowledge to realize that the expectations don't fit (& the gumption to act accordingly).

          But compare Romney with Obama or Bush or Clinton- they all love playing the game of politics- interacting with people, manipulating them, plotting how to advance their agendas… Romney doesn't seem to understand or particularly like voters, he doesn't seem to have much of an idea about 'strategy' & he doesn't seem to have any goals he's passionate about achieving. And he certainly doesn't need the money.

          Since his parents are no longer around with their expectations & since he doesn't show any aptitude or preference for politics, I am hypothesizing that Ann is a strong motivating force behind his candidacies (along with the LDS bigwigs)… His campaigning is so absurd that you have to wonder if he isn't trying to fail while still being able to say that he did his duty to his family & Church.

  • ElPinche

    I love that pic of Romney. He has the same look Bruce Campbell had in Evil Dead 2 when all the furniture was laughing with him.

  • ttommyunger

    The only thing that keeps me from feeling sorry for Mitt is that sure knowledge that a Romney Presidency would be a total horror show for my Country.

    • bobbert

      Well, and that he's kind of an inhuman asshole.

      • ttommyunger

        Yes, there is that to be sure…

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