The Mitt Romney for President general election campaign, which is finally reaching the hypothetical comedy potential of an entity called the “Mitt Romney for President general election campaign,” refuses to back down on its calls for an apology from its rival campaign. “Romney defends calls for an apology over Bain attacks,” an actual headline reads today. As all the savvy Beltway insider consultant people will tell you, any candidate who finds himself “defending calls for an apology” is basically a lock to win any election. This is a campaign that’s competent, hard-hitting, and always on the offensive. Remember that pathetic “best political ad ever made” YouTube that the Obama campaign released this weekend? Another amateur chess move from the sucky-chesser-in-chief. Because now Romney’s campaign has released a much more crushing response ad, that shows Obama singing well, and people enjoying it. What now, Kenyan?

The Romney ad, “Political Payoffs And Middle Class Layoffs,” shows the president singing well for a few seconds while the unemployment rate is high. Even worse, it reveals that the Obama campaign funds itself with money from “donors,” who congregate at secret gatherings known as “fund-raisers.” This hush-hush arrangement flies in the face of the campaign’s official story that all of its money is cut from the tanned leather of locally raised unicorn.

And good luck trying to shape the narrative, Obama campaign, when Mitt Romney adds a commanding media presence like Tim Pawlenty to the ticket. “I play hockey,” TPAW will say, and everyone will care.


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  • Beowoof

    Have they run the let's get the minstrel show out of the White House Ad yet.

  • nounverb911

    Rubber meet glue.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Somewhere in the Mitt campaign someone is thinking, "I'm rubber, you're a tar baby".

      • emmelemm


  • They had two days, and this is their comeback?

    • Hey, it's hard to turn a yacht around in a harbor!

      • Generation[redacted]

        "Hey, you scratched my anchor!"

        • Maybe he retroactively released the ad on Friday?

    • doloras

      If Barry wanted any comeback from Mittens, he'd scrap his throat.

      • bobbert

        "scrape", yes? If so, I likes it.

  • Troglodeity

    America demands apology for Mitt Romney's singing.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Well, he did cal his book "No Apology"…

      • Generation[redacted]

        Just because he's listed as the author, doesn't mean he had anything to do with it. Stop these baseless attacks!

        • He finished writing that book YEARS before it was finished being written.

          • emmelemm

            His name was added as the "author" retroactively.

      • sullivanst

        Nevertheless, the Troglodeity campaign stands by its demand for an apology.

    • It's not over until the Wall Street fat cat sings.

    • anniegetyerfun

      SOMEONE needs to create an continually run ads that show Mitt singing… and singing… and singing. Because it drives home just how insanely non-human he is.

      • He's my new ringtone! My Wingnut in-laws are gonna go berserk…

        • Whollyholeyholy

          And no quality shall be lost though the sad little cell phone speaker.

  • nounverb911

    "media presence like Tim Pawlenty to the ticket."
    His first press conference will be on a collapsing bridge.

    • Not all the bridges to nowhere are in Alaska.

    • Antispandex

      Pawlenty for VP? Dare we hope?

      • NellCote71

        I am still holding out for Jan Brewer.

  • Troglodeity

    After Pawlenty's selected: "Romney demands apology for Dem ad with Pawlenty saying 'Obamneycare.'"

  • prommie

    When you are making excuses for how insultingly stupid your initial excuses were, its time to stop digging, sometimes.

    • FakaktaSouth

      Oooh ooh like my guvnah, Mr Bentley (Colonel Angus) this weekend, accidentally saying a true thing and then being all, I do not know what you are talking about, I would never say a true thing? Mitt Romney's taxes are funner to argue over in Alabama than I thought they'd be.

      • prommie

        "Are you ladies out here looking for Colonel Angus?"

        • FakaktaSouth

          Once a woman is introduced to Colonel Angus, she'll settle for nothing less.

          Oh colonel Angus, you old carpet bagger.

          I'm headed down south – how far south are you headed? Taint really sure, I like the deep south, I prefer the heat, the humidity

          • Wait, are you guys saying KFC is carrying those McDonald's Angus snack wraps now?

          • FakaktaSouth

            Ew KFC/McDonalds mingling food gross. I'd rather eat beaver.

          • SorosBot

            Well as I straight man I love eating beaver…

          • prommie

            Apparently you get tongue-tied just thinking of it. Like the incident at Big Beaver, when all those men suffered lockjaw.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    "When will Obama apologize to me? Waaaaaaaaaaa!"

  • Beowoof

    I can truthfully say that I would love to run into TPAW, repeatedly while he is in the corner. Okay, so I would get 2 minutes for boarding, it would be so worth it.

    • Just don't draw blood. We can't afford a four minute PK

    • Antispandex

      So, we get the Democartic version of the Hanson brothers? Ok, I know one of them is Biden, but…

      • Beowoof

        Old time hockey Coach Barry.

  • bumfug

    Coming next: Hidden-camera photos of POTUS healing the blind and helping the lame to walk. Mitt's got him on the run!

    • Wait, healing and helping… FOR FREE??? SOSHUHLUST!!!!

  • WhatTheHeck

    Romney plays the race card next, demanding Obama apologize for suggesting one of Romney’s forebears came from Mexico.

    • nounverb911

      Where's Mitt's birth certificate?

      • chicken_thief

        Caucasians need birth certificates?!

        • If he's Messican, he's not Caucasian

      • GeorgiaBurning

        Mitt carries a "Certificate of Authenticity" along with a hologram logo, a product key and a limited use license agreement.

        • bikerlaureate

          No one gets to read the EULA until after installation, though.

  • SorosBot

    Yeah, what about the middle class, Mittens?

    ..wait, that question is directed at Obama, not the man who has shown that he only cares for the welfare of the rich and has nothing but contempt for the middle class? Does not compute.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Let the eagle soar.

  • LettucePrey

    Yeah. Singing to an audience in Harlem. Fucking elitist.

  • ShreditorsDesk

    Ok so this a make a Mario so so sad, but a pizza is a still a much a much a nicer than a paina in the ass.

    • GregComlish

      Damn it. I can't decipher your Nintendo-speak

    • sezme

      Herman Cain, is that you?

  • Ladies and gentlemen: this is the GOP nominee for president. Srsly. This is the state of that guy's campaign.

    • chicken_thief

      "…this is the GOP nominee for president."

      Not yet….

      • Veritas78

        …and that may be part of a twelfth-dimensional chess game being played right now.

    • WhatTheHolyHeck

      At this rate, Romney couldn't get an apology from a lawyer he shot in the face.

      • NellCote71

        Mega thumbs up!

  • MissTaken

    Oh goodie, the ever popular campaign strategy of 'I know you are but what am I?'

    • SorosBot

      How many times has it been now, that they've tried to respond to Obama's attacks by throwing the same thing back at him, only in a completely inept and tone-deaf (not unlike Mittens' singing) manner?

    • bikerlaureate

      The Projectionists are out to save us from that Harvard elitist with foreign ancestors.

  • SoBeach

    That ad is Mitt bringing a covered dish to a gun fight.

    • IncenseDebate

      But it is piping hot.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        "Hot plate. Hot plate."

    • JustPixelz

      "Heat it up Maria. I'm running for President for Pete's sake.

    • thedeathofirony

      TPAW knows his hotdish

    • His personal fortune allows him access to unlimited stores of Sterno.

  • chicken_thief

    …TPAW will say, and everyone will…. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • IncenseDebate

    His ad people know they're working for Romney and not the other guy, right?

    • NellCote71

      Yeah, I smell an embedded liberal.

  • I'm beginning to wonder if the Romney campaign isn't some sort of involved guerilla theater/performance art hoax, 'cause it sure as hell doesn't resemble a competent political campaign. This is all just an elaborate ruse by Paul supporters to engineer his nomination by some sort of convention floor coup, isn't it?

    • HoytClagwell

      My private theory is that the Romney candidacy is the result of a 'Trading Places'-style bet between David and Charles Koch: "I bet you I can find the worst possible candidate and have him run the most inept, tin-eared campaign ever, and he'll still get at least 40% of the popular vote because racism." "I'll take that bet!"

      • MissTaken

        So when do we get to see Jamie Lee Curtis' tits?

        • Generation[redacted]

          Apparently, groceries and TV ads aren't the only things that cost money.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Remember when we all thought that Romney was toast because he's not only a terrible candidate but also has a terrible record? Oh, wait..we still think that, don't we…

  • sbj1964

    Instead of an election we should just let the American Idol judges pick the Next Singing President. Remeber to text 463 on your AT&T phone.

    • JustPixelz

      Or 666 to vote for Romney. Or 999 if you still want Cain.

    • mrpuma2u

      You are scaring me with that. Too many people will think it's a good idea.

  • Talk about "tone-deaf" — this is like running an ad FOR Obama!

  • vodkamuppet

    Who the hell is Tim Pawlent…ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

  • IncenseDebate

    I heard the next Romney ad will point out how handsome and cool the President is.

    • vodkamuppet

      And how massive his penis is. "Barack Obama has an 11 inch throbbing python in his pants, is this the change you were hoping for, America?"

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      "The Middle Class is hurting"

      [sinister music]

      "Unemployment is high"

      [more sinister music]

      "and what is the President doing?"

      [sinister crescendo]

      "killing Osama bin Laden"

    • sezme

      Pointing out how popular Obama is worked out so well for John McCain…

  • UnholyMoses

    Hundreds of millions of dollars for a campaign, and this is the best they could do?

    They must be outsourcing their electoral strategy to a PR sweatshop somewhere in Indonesia.

    • IncenseDebate

      From the same guys who brought you those trillion dollar wars.

  • qwerty42

    Best way to distract: Add TPAW to the ticket, stat!!! That will reinvigorate everything. However, for an edgy strategy, say you plan to add Sarah Palin. Or Todd! The election will be a cinch then.

  • I don't mean to alarm you but,
    An intergalactic war is coming! Xenu and Captain Moroni are right now battling over KOLOB!
    The time is coming soon and you WILL have to choose a side.
    Choose wisely because they are coming!

    • Didn't this used to be a 3D ride at Disney World with Michael Jackson?

      • JustPixelz

        You're thinking of the Hall of Presidents which is where Romney learned his leadership style.

    • Preferred Customer

      I thought Katie Holmes already won that war for us, but I admit that I haven't really been following the headlines that closely.

    • doloras

      I'm backing the Loyal Officers of the Galactic Confederacy. They'll put Xenu back in his prison, and hopefully bomb Kolob in the process.

  • Pragmatist2

    Mitt is suffering from Romnesia, a disease in which you forget you were a liberal and a CEO and a Francophile.

  • widestanceromance

    Willard is committed to winning with no women votes whatsoever, isn't he? Is he saving that tape of Barack delivering soul-searing cunnilingus to his wife of many years for early November?

    • ChessieNefercat

      No, Ann saw it and busted it over Willard's head. All those wasted years!

    • CarolinaStewPie

      He seems to excel at the oral argument.

  • Geminisunmars

    What a devastating ad. omg. Donors! Fundraisers! On pitch singing! zinging!

  • Maybe Mittens is unqualified to be president, but at least he's arrogant about it.

    • Generation[redacted]

      And really, isn't that what American leadership is all about?

  • ttommyunger

    Did not dare watch vid… 71 years "straight" and Barry could swing me to "questioning".

  • Callyson

    Yeah, I know that when it comes to looking out for the interests of the middle class, I turn to a person who makes $10K bets on trivial issues and thinks $300K is not very much money…


    • IncenseDebate

      I can't wait for them to roll out those clips closer to the election.

    • kittensdontlie

      Yea, I might be poor but as long as he can keep our womenfolk in their place(barefoot and pregnant), he has my vote…'Go Muffinface.. I mean, Go Mittenface go.'

  • SmutBoffin


  • Estproph

    Mitt Romney is heading towards being the only person to ever lose a presidential campaign before he gets a party nomination.

  • Everytime I see the name "Tim Pawlenty," I keep thinking he's a Vulcan matriarch– T'Paw

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Just the thought of a Republican mind-meld will save you a few bucks at lunch time.

    • Preferred Customer

      That's cold. Won't you even try to give a little bit of heart and soul?

      • I see what you do there…

        • Preferred Customer

          This is the politics of life.

  • PuckStopsHere

    There were WAY MORE people cheering when Mittens sang "America the Beautiful".

    • They were singing "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOtiful…"

    • TootsStansbury

      They gave him a standing ovation!

  • As NV911 noted above, TPawz chances collapsed several years back with I35W. Now it is on to any Portman in the storm. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….

    Obvs., if Rmoney has any sense he'll show he thinks Walnutz was a genius and he'll tap Lou Sarah.

    Outsource/Grifter 2012

    • It was an interstate highway, so T'Paw can always blame the Feds for underfund–

      Oh, wait….

  • In Romney's next ad, he will show that the President can dance well and has a large cock.

  • vulpes82

    People, this ad is GENIUS! It reveals to the public, for the first time, that THERE IS A NEGRO IN THE WHITE HOUSE! You know how good "those people" are at the singin' and the dancin'.

    As for the VP pick… who?

    • Hedley_Lamarr

      Gov. Menelaus "Pappy" O'Daniel (R-Miss)

      • viennawoods13

        The current discussion at Rmoney's campaign headquarters about how badly Obama's going to win-
        "Gonna paddle a little behind."
        "Ain't gonna paddle it – gonna kick it, real hard."

  • metamarcisf

    Why does Romney hate Al Green?

  • Callyson

    Hey, Mittens, show us the tax returns (long form!)

    • Mittens has explained, he won't release his tax returns because it's not like John Kerry's wife released hers, that time that she ran for president.

      • Veritas78

        I can't wait for someone to yell at Ann, "Show us your taxes!"—with the appropriate hand gestures, of course.

  • Exhausted66

    Rev Al Green asking Romney not to use his music in his campaign ads in 3..2..

    (Please tell me they had to pay a licensing fee.)

    • elisabeth_vt

      And the video has been pulled to due possible licensing issues.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Bah. Must be spending all that campaign money on rigging Debold machines rather than pesky public relations bullshit.

    • emmelemm

      This is all fun to snark about, and if the "playing field were level", so to speak, Mittens wouldn't stand a chance.

      But with fixed voting machines and massive poll tax disenfranchisement, he could still sail right on in.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Damn, Hopey's a good singer. I'm more pissed off that the ad cuts him off than anything.

  • ChessieNefercat

    I wish the Obama campaign would just run this as an actual ad:

    Maybe then Rombain would take the hint?

  • savethispatient

    It's amazing how sinister any bit of film looks when you watch it on VHS…

  • Antispandex

    Oh my god. What's next? "I know you are but what am I?" Maybe, "I'm rubber you're glue". This is what happens when you can't get an apology, or anyone to even listen to your pleas for an apology, I guess. Well, if you are spoiled and entitled, or have staff that have come from the closed down mental wards your party thinks we don't need.. What's next, holding his breath till he gets his way?

  • owhatever

    I hope whoever made that ad never ever leaves the Republican campaign.

  • Come here a minute

    If Barack Obama really cared about the middle class he'd go to fund-raisers where he gets shot by Dick Cheney.

  • ChessieNefercat

    Their comeback is a clip of the President singing well, to an appreciative audience? So their message is "But the Kenyan sang, too!"

  • MissTaken

    Hey Mittens,

    Thank you for reminding me to set my vibrator on the charger when I get home tonight so it's good and ready for when I watch more clips of my President!


    • Steverino247

      Be sure to warn CalTech about the likely moment of your orgasm so they can measure it on the Richter Scale.

      • MissTaken

        Be in a doorjam at approximately 7:15 PM PDT tonight. Just sayin'

  • Mittens new "ad" has all the impact of an angry internet comment.

    And demanding an apology? That's not in the Chicago Way.

    • SorosBot

      Aren't the Republicans, according to the media at least, supposed to come off as the "tough guy" party? Besides Mittens having no good response to pointing out his record at Bain, the way he just whines and demands an apology for Obama being mean to him just makes him come off as a total thin-skinned petulant wimp who can't take people going after his record.

      • That's the most devastating aspect of it for the GOPers. No way Romwimpy looks good at this.

        • Preferred Customer

          Right. And the more they keep accusing Obama of "Chicago style" politics, the more he comes off as kind of a bad-ass. Because, really, if there's one stereotype people have about the "Chicago way" in anything, it's that it's kind of fuck you.

      • ChessieNefercat

        But this particular myth should have been put to rest long ago. How long have we had the steroidal mosquito victim whine of Tundratwat? All they do is whine about how nobody believes them when they whine about how tough they are. Geez.

  • TootsStansbury

    I am enjoying Mitt the lying liar meltdown WAY too much.

  • Oh, JNew (may I call you that?), your whole 2nd paragraph brought tears to my eyes. Not literally, since I'm a crusty, hateful liberal… but it would have.

  • NellCote71

    What? Have we already forgotten one of the best memes yet: retroactive retirement?

  • I suggest Rmoney's team make an ad featuring Rebecca leaning over a pool table:

    These are the kind of people who support Obama!!!!!!!!!

    • Eve8Apples

      Or the naked woman bending over near the sports car pictured above.

  • Terry

    Romney's team is trying to screw up this apology thing so badly that people will forget about his tax returns.

  • snackypants

    Well, that ad sealed it. I'm voting for Obama!

  • snackypants

    OT and maybe late to the party, but am I the only one whose Wonkette sidebar is advertising "Mutually Beneficial Arrangements" and hookups with "College Girls and Single Moms"?

    • Chichikovovich

      You're not the only one. "Mutually Beneficial Arrangement" and "naked lady bending over beside sports car" jokes have been proliferating for several days now.

      [Welcome back, btw – accounting and gardening are clearly too jealous to let you spend much time with the gang. Selfish bastards.]

      • snackypants

        Oh, Chichikovovich, you have no idea how much of a jealous bitch the CPA exam and yard projects are. Fortunately, I am almost finished with my last exam, and our backyard is on hiatus (but looks like Bosnia) while we try to find somebody to do the grunt work for us. So that, along with it already being “election season” in my battleground state of Nevada, means I will be able to troll to my heart's content with my fellow Wonketeers!

        • Chichikovovich

          Hey, now there's some 100% pure, extra virgin, single-estate good news right there! Good luck on the last exam, and it'll be good to hear you again.—

    • redarmyzombie

      You're not, and no, I don't understand either…

  • mavenmaven

    As you can tell from the eerie ambient music accompanying the Romney Retort, anyone who watches this video is cursed.
    I certainly feel that way after watching it.

  • telecustom1972

    This just proves the age old adage "Mormons should never get into pissing contests with black dudes".

  • larrykat

    Well this is obviously the NEW best political ad ever made, because there is some rhyming words in there. But somehow it seems derivative…


  • Billmatic

    So when is Obama gonna sing the hook on a Kanye track?

  • And the comedy doesn't end there: Here's a Mittens campaign surrogate trying to push this attack on CNN, attacking Obama for having donors who also invest in green energy. The only problem? That's public information because the Obama campaign voluntarily disclosed the identities of their bundlers in the interest of "transparency- yet another thing that Mittens refuses to do.

    For some reason, it didn't occur to anyone to be prepared for this pretty obvious follow-up question.

  • Wadisay

    When you see stuff like this, the 9-9-9 plan doesn't seem so stupid.

  • Schmegeg

    TPAW? And I was worried Mitt would pick an anonymous white guy/

  • littlebigdaddy

    This calls for a Rahm half-finger salute.

  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    I was going to make a joke on the Obama apology thread about how Romney always is copying Obama and therefore we should expect him to release an ad of Obama singing. But then I thought "nah, that's *too* stupid."

    Lesson. Learned.

  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    Next Romney Ad:

    "Obama says Romney killed middle class jobs, but did you know Obama is responsible for the death of an actual HUMAN? *photo of Osama bin Laden*. Romney 2012!"

  • rocktonsam

    "say you're sorry right now or I'm telling my mom!"

  • Well, it's clear that Mitt Romney can't beat Obama, because he's got the charisma of a garden slug, the character of a rattlesnake and the intelligence of a rock, plus some really pathetic ad people, but Obama can still beat Obama and might well do it, too, if he doesn't fire lil Timmy "the bankers' buttboy" Geithner pretty darned sharpish, because TG is up to his chin in this Libor shit standing on his tiptoes, and the poopocean hasn't even hit high tide yet.

  • That is simply terrible. They need to fire whoever wrote and produced that dreadful PoS.

  • Stinging!

  • Eve8Apples

    Do Romney's people realize every time that ad runs, Obama's approval rating among female and gay male voters rises by 4%?

  • redarmyzombie

    Seriously, Willard? This was the best you could do?

    Oh, lordy be…

  • looks like they scrubbed it. either that or it really is a sony copywrite violation.

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