FLOWERS IN OUR HAIR  12:23 pm July 15, 2012

A Children’s Treasury Of Rear-Entry Pictures From The Wonkette Drinky Thing In San Francisco

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rear entry

On the real, we had no idea — after all you San Francisco Wonkeroos whined so very soulfully about the Holocaust — worse than the Gestapo or even the IRS — of having to take a bus to our latest meetup — that the San Francisco Wonk would be such a handsome and superfun genus. Seriously, all y’all were gorgeous and superfun and nothing against LA or Detroit, but now those towns can suck it. A new bar has been set. Above is someone’s butt. As usual, we will not identify commenters (and so many lurkers) who show up in the pix, but they may do so for themselves.

Most of these pix were taken by Glasspusher, we think, and some by mystery lady “Christine.” We apologize for being in so many of them, but we looked kind of super awesome Friday night, so people couldn’t really help taking our picture. Also, Extemporanus showed up late and he was shockingly handsome and 6-foot-6, for serious. If you would like to send more photos, we will update this post. As it is, you don’t even get captions. We got shit to do.

finger guns

UPDATE: Here’s two more.

UPDATE AGAIN! Here is a weird thing our brother, Commie Bro (the handsome baldish dude in the black and white Western shirt) did, and that is an audio recording of forever. Please to enjoy.

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 461 comments }

Limeylizzie July 15, 2012 at 12:27 pm

High standard in the City by the Bay.

Jukesgrrl July 15, 2012 at 4:28 pm

OT to LL: Thanks for the tip about Simon Mawer. The Glass Room had a big waiting list, so I took The Gospel of Judas instead. Great writing! Can't wait for the others. I'm onto Declan Hughes' latest now, so I'm wallowing in my long-denied Irish-Catholic neurosis. Sex, murder, and trinity symbolism … mmm, mmm. Most of the characters are movie makers, too. You might like it: City of Lost Girls.

Crank_Tango July 15, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Is that the face you made when you found out about the cab ride?

Also, it was great fun, yay!!

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 15, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Bloody was. Strewth.

So many cool and interesting people there!

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Did my butt look big?

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 15, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Firm and pert as a perfect peach.

Great to meet you and much obliged for the lift there!

This sort of thing should happen more often, I reckon.

glasspusher July 16, 2012 at 12:28 am

Yeah, good times. We will do it again soon. How late were you there?

LettucePrey July 16, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Fukui-san: Sorry for busting your balls and asking if you were a redneck.

Agreed, many cool and interesting people there! Not one asshole among the SF Wonketeers! (*clears throat*)

Crank_Tango July 16, 2012 at 1:22 pm

I think I need an exorcism now…

LettucePrey July 16, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Well, it involves getting down on your knees and having me lay hands on you, so I'm sure you don't want to hear about it.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:15 am

Which one are you, now?

Crank_Tango July 16, 2012 at 1:22 pm

The big guy with his back to the camera (or front to the nice lady) in 0039. There were many pictures takeded, yet, just a few got posted.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Oh, hey, how nice to meet you! I do believe you are a neighbour of mine. Don't you live somewhere up off Broadway Terrace or maybe down Snake?

Crank_Tango July 16, 2012 at 1:34 pm

wait were we talking about this? I live off Keller (on 580 in the 510)

ChernobylSoup July 15, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Good looking bunch.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 July 15, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Sure are…I mean I wasn't for a moment expecting a teabagger-esque freakshow of he-shes (Lindsey Graham and whatever that was that attacked Riley) and scooter brigades with anti-government healthcare stickers festooned under the "purchased by medicare" sign…I've always said liberals are on average more attractive because we're not living in constant fear and hatred which makes wingnuts resemble crusty old boils. Oh, and wingnuts are usually fat, too. Oh, and we aren't tards who think wearing colonial costumes somehow makes us look more 'Merikan, or anything.

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 12:31 pm

I ain't always late.

I am, however, always 6-foot-six and shockingly handsome.

weejee July 15, 2012 at 12:34 pm

That's you in the 2nd photo Extemp? (alt txt 113392)

Crank_Tango July 15, 2012 at 12:40 pm

His hat was bigger…

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 12:45 pm

And that's not a cane…

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 12:48 pm

At least he left his hat on.

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I was feelin' Randy

BoatOfVelociraptors July 15, 2012 at 12:32 pm

I'm having a problem choosing between DSC_017_2 and DSC_033_2.

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 10:12 pm

033_2 involved a little more posing, but the effect is nice!

ChernobylSoup July 15, 2012 at 12:33 pm

If Wonkette will come to Little Rock, I will give you a personal tour of the Clinton Library. It costs extra to have your picture taken next to the blue dress.

Nothingisamiss July 15, 2012 at 1:11 pm

A place that makes sense for the Wonkeratti, and within driving distance.

Butch_Wagstaff July 15, 2012 at 7:35 pm

How much to look at the label to see who made it? I'm asking for a friend…
Just a friend of mine who isn't myself who's gay like myself.

Steverino247 July 15, 2012 at 12:34 pm

No pictures of the Hands of Fifth and Market? (Sigh…)

PubOption July 15, 2012 at 1:13 pm

I thought that the hand of the market was invisible!

Geminisunmars July 15, 2012 at 1:28 pm

That is why you don't see any pictures of it.

MissTaken July 15, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Why do you think I have my finger in my mouth?

Chichikovovich July 15, 2012 at 5:55 pm

I just assumed you were directing the stream from the spout of a keg just out of frame.

weejee July 15, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Where's the video?

BoatOfVelociraptors July 15, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Seriously, no iPads in San Fran?

Left_Leftie July 15, 2012 at 3:11 pm

We were too busy drinking to take video.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 16, 2012 at 2:18 am

Kickstand == hands free recording.

Tangled sin tax July 15, 2012 at 12:42 pm

So happy to see that not everybody in the world is under 25

OneYieldRegular July 15, 2012 at 5:49 pm

The place was crowded, so I helped make some space by representing at least two people under 25.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 15, 2012 at 7:25 pm

That's one way to have a three way.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:50 am

Are you the VERY cute Asian guy?

homotownrecords July 16, 2012 at 1:58 am

That was Lloyd, and he was the funniest person I have ever met in my life (but also I was very drunk, so maybe he was just really funny.)

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 2:17 am

I don't think Lloyd posts here, dammit. Thanks, homotown!

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 6:14 am

I thought Lloyd was the bartender.

He's always been the bartender.

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 10:13 pm

I'm 18 with 29 years' experience.

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 12:45 pm

I have a couple of new imaginary girlfriends.

EDIT: GI-ANTS SUCK!!!1!*

*OK, it's the Rockies that actually suck, but I've started drinking early today.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 July 15, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Hell I'm just glad Magic bought the Dodgers so I can start liking them again

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 15, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Which team is on top of NL West after today's sweep? I forget.

littlebigdaddy July 15, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Sadly, the Rox do suck.

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Boston took 2 of 3 from Tampa. Do the Sox ruck?

Go Sox!

BarackMyWorld July 15, 2012 at 12:45 pm

So…not a sausage-fest this time?

Chichikovovich July 15, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Sausage-fest??? Besides Rebecca – the legend – we had the beautiful, smart and charming ThundercatHo, better company than 100 ordinary women.

Left_Leftie July 15, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Sausage and Clams were pretty much equally represented.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ July 15, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Such great photographs!!

BarackMyWorld July 15, 2012 at 5:07 pm

needz moar alt-text.

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Thank you. I've been doing photography since I was in middle school, paid my way through undergrad as a wedding photographer and still do it for friends and family.

LettucePrey July 16, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Your pics were gorgeous, glasspusher! The shot of Rebecca at the pool table is epic.

glasspusher July 16, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Yeah, a few of them came out, didn't they?Great meeting you in person! Your stories of college/family and religion were epic as well!Next time my place!

Steverino247 July 15, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Looks like a mutually beneficial agreement was had by all.

Chichikovovich July 15, 2012 at 2:24 pm

So now do the rest of us have to give them sports cars? Or is the deal null and void if they keep their clothes on?

I'm still trying to figure this out.

kittensdontlie July 15, 2012 at 7:28 pm

There is just a hint of whale tail in that very first pic, so at least one person gets a sports car.

Antispandex July 15, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Ah, so many CILF's (commenters I'd like to…). I miss California. I believe a trip to the high plains is in order. I have guns. I can protect you.

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 12:57 pm
RadioSlut July 15, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Tits or GTFO.

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Don't do it, Crank…

Doktor Zoom July 15, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Tits or GTO?

Boojum July 15, 2012 at 1:20 pm

The last pic, I'm framing. Or laminating.

Blueb4sunrise July 15, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I just laminated the monitor.

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I hope you removed the white-out of all the typos you've made in the past first.

Boojum July 15, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Um, that's not white-out.

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 9:29 pm

The pool shot? She was moving so fucking fast I almost didn't get. She knows what to do with balls and a stick, I can tell you.

Boojum July 15, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Damn it, I've barely moved from the bed all day as it is!

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 10:09 pm

If photos I've taken of Our Editrix cause erections lasting more than 4 hours, post here and brag about it!

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 12:35 am

Well … I have permanent carpal tunnel now, does that constitute bragging?

James Michael Curley July 15, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Watson, there are important things which can be learned by the careful review of these photographs.

1. They were taken using different photographic devices and thus different users of those devices.
2. The flash has not been invented yet.

WhatTheHeck July 15, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Waddup, Holmes. You never cease to amaze me.

James Michael Curley July 15, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Just be certain, Watson, that you tell your readers I never said, “Elementary! My dear Watson.” or they will think I have gone all Oscar Wilde on you in our mutually shared Backer Street flat that you continue to sleep after your alleged marriage and subsequent ‘death’ of that so-called “Mary Morstan.”

WhatTheHeck July 15, 2012 at 5:40 pm

I hope you are not DeerStalking me, Sherlock. We promised to be gentlemen when we moved into 221B.

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 1:40 pm

PIctures needed more flashing in them.

Especially the first and last ones.

James Michael Curley July 15, 2012 at 3:02 pm

No mirrors with dudes holding iphones, please.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 July 15, 2012 at 2:33 pm

So you're saying they are fakes like the moon landing? We're through the looking glass here, people.

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 9:32 pm

I only took one shot with flash the whole night. Wanted to keep the "ambiance". Most of the shots I took were with a 50mm 1.4 lens stopped down slightly to 1.8. First two years I had a camera I couldn't afford to buy a flash for it, so I learned how to hold steady and get good available light shots. Still prefer it over flash.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 16, 2012 at 4:52 am

Are you using all of the EXIFfields metadata?

Designer_Rants July 15, 2012 at 1:45 pm

You guys look like a fun crowd. So do you guys talk politics at these drinky thingys?

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Talking about all the Wonketeers who aren't there?

RadioSlut July 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Too busy with the buttsechs.

Designer_Rants July 15, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Less talky, moar grunty.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Radio, are you the gorgeous skinny dude who looks like Dan Savage?

Left_Leftie July 15, 2012 at 3:49 pm

My ice-breaker /opening question was "Mitt Romney, Alien or Robot?" Most said: He is a Mormon, they are just like that. So, Alien was the clear winner.

Designer_Rants July 15, 2012 at 4:47 pm

I wasn't sure if all the politics gets talked to death here, and so everyone just sat around showing wallet pictures of their kids or talking about the weather….

Chichikovovich July 15, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Shoorly the only acceptable answer is "All of them, Katie".

Are you sure that you were actually at the Wonkette gathering? You could have, by coincidence, met a lot of people who look like the ones in the pictures, and that striking woman in photos 4 and 6 might be be someone who just looks a lot like you. It's crazy, but it's the only possible explanation of the facts as reported.

LettucePrey July 16, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Does talking about santorum count?

Designer_Rants July 16, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Only as an appetite suppressant.

MissTaken July 16, 2012 at 1:32 pm

I'm still convinced the gum on the bar was santorum flavored.

SorosBot July 16, 2012 at 1:44 pm

And mocking Santorum lead to us deciding to get together for real – so it doesn't always suppress the appetite or libido.

Crank_Tango July 16, 2012 at 3:51 pm

You might be the only straight guy on earth to spin a "santorum thread" into an actual relationship–nice work!

BlueStateLibel July 15, 2012 at 1:47 pm

How'd that teabagger mole with the hat and cane manage to sneak in?

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 15, 2012 at 10:53 pm

He was late.

shelwood46 July 15, 2012 at 1:49 pm

So I guess Jamie Kilstein is too important to post now that he is on the teevee.

Clankie July 15, 2012 at 1:52 pm

So, not coming to Denver then?
We're not on fire, anymore.
At least, not literally.

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Sweet Sara Benincasa already stiffed cancelled Denver this year. Please come to Denver.

Too, also, didn't Benincasa splashily return and post here once not too long ago, and then never again? Sara? Kirsten? Have they been fed to the fat guy in front of computer monitor?

Clankie July 15, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Since all the rednecks and assholes in Colorado live outside the city limits (too many blacks, mexicans, and poors) there is literally NO reason to not visit our fair city. We have beautiful mountains, mining/refinery/homeless feces polluted rivers, weed stores on every corner, a beer baron for a governor/former mayor, and one of the most racist and brutality-prone police departments in the nation. You can also make a day trip out of going to Colorado Springs and taking the tour at Focus on the Family, and then trying to reconcile their concept of the divine with the raging hellstorm of a forest fire that nearly consumed their city.

Antispandex July 15, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Seriously! I could be there in, like, an hour. I believe it has even lost that funky smell of burning pine.

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Still got that funky smell of souls getting ready to burn in Hell.

Geminisunmars July 15, 2012 at 7:41 pm

I'd love a Denver party. Wynkoop in honor of our Governor? My Brother's Bar?

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Our guvner's a DINO and sucks oil and gas dick. I suggest Boulder, actually. More commies up there. Hotel Boulderado mebbe.

Geminisunmars July 16, 2012 at 12:33 am

Yah, Boulder would be better for commies, but then I wouldn't be able to go. Not that Boulder still wants me to stay out of their city limits, or anything like that.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 12:37 am

*cough*

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 1:20 am

I wish Straight Johnson's was still around. I dunno, maybe it is still around, but it hasn't been Straight Johnson's for decades. It was a nice place to eat, have a beer or six, and watch the peoplez, most of whom were not straight.

Clankie July 16, 2012 at 8:40 am

Oh, God, fuck boulder in its self-satisfied ass. Boulder is where 'leftists' go to all get together, feel good about themselves, and accomplish nothing whatsoever outside their own little insulated environs.

not that Dewey July 15, 2012 at 1:58 pm

So, Extemporanus and Chichikovovich are some kind or Tall Mafia?

-or-

Tall, Snark, and Handsome

Chet Kincaid July 15, 2012 at 2:37 pm

They should accompany Rebecca everywhere, as The Fruit Of Snark® Security Wing.

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Can't speak for 1, but 2 over here really fell for 7.

(IT WAS INSIED JOB!1!)

Limeylizzie July 15, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Are you there in the pictures?

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Only in spirits.

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 2:55 pm

For the record, Rebecca was way too generous (about the handsome, not the height). Way.

One of the advantages of rollin' in when everyone has the booze views, my friend.

SexySmurf July 15, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I've just decided that I was there retroactively.

Blueb4sunrise July 15, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Heh.
There is a good term, not sure if it's original with B-Juicer
rda909 , but that's where I saw it.

… trying to Swift-Yacht Mr. Governor W. Mitt Romney.

MittBorg July 15, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Twitter's calling him "self-Swissboating."

BlueStateLibel July 15, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Mittens doesn't understand why humans don't understand that you can go back in time and change things – they do that all the time on the planet he comes from.

Negropolis July 15, 2012 at 11:28 pm

I'm so going to use that term in my everyday life, now. Yes, I retroactively did such-and-such.

emmelemm July 15, 2012 at 11:31 pm

As I saw commented somewhere else, "I'm going to go retroactively celebrate my 39th birthday, again."

Hedley_Lamarr July 15, 2012 at 2:04 pm

No confrontations with the local wingnutniks? Shame. Anyway, nice pix, looks like a cool place, and a fun time. Got to start thinking of a Portland venue…

MittBorg July 15, 2012 at 4:44 pm

It's SF, toots. The "local wingnutniks" probly live down in, I dunno, Daly City, or out in Concord. Miles and maybe even bridges away.

Not that there ain't assholes in SF, it's just that they're not that likely to be both (1) local AND (2) of the wingnutty variety.

Hedley_Lamarr July 15, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Ahhh, thanks. Been a long time since I was there, I'm glad the demographic hasn't changed. There are some local spots in my area where the necks can be red.

Antispandex July 15, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Not even a wide stance, down in the Castro?

MittBorg July 15, 2012 at 8:38 pm

Many a stance down in the Castro.

GeorgiaBurning July 16, 2012 at 2:43 am

In SF a few olds out in the Sunset are what passes as conservatives, though they are probably commie terrorists by Republican standards.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 2:53 am

Hah! I was thinking about how our conservatives would be completely unacceptable to most Republicans, but decided not to say that. I'm glad I'm not the ony one who thinks that. The few teabaggers I've met around here seem to come from someplace else. A lot of them are Okies from the valley, or have moved here from other states. And most of them don't live in the city itself, but in the funky little towns around the Bay or way down the Peninsula.

Crank_Tango July 16, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Last night we were coming back to San Leandro BART from the city and a bunch of cowboy boot types got on from a…somebody (some country dude my mom likes) concert at the coliseum. I didn't think bart WENT that far out.

horsedreamer_1 July 15, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Union Jack's?

PhilippePetain July 16, 2012 at 2:20 pm

The Acropolis?

Fuck Toad July 16, 2012 at 3:38 pm

God, I have no idea where we'd do it in Portland, mostly because I have no idea how many people it'd be.

If it's not literally a billion people I'd suggest the Vern. In general, I suggest 'not downtown' because fuuuuuck downtown.

chascates July 15, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Did Shorts not even show up?

Texan_Bulldog July 15, 2012 at 2:19 pm

We still need to plan one of these wing-dings for Austin folks.

Chet Kincaid July 15, 2012 at 2:10 pm

My dilemma with these meetups is that, should you have one in Chicago, I'll end up in a photo on Wonkette and it will be obvious who I am. And even if I weren't Chet Kincaid, overweight Black Olde, the Wonkeratti like to play guessing games with people's photos, and I've seen people carelessly post identifying info people tell them in comments.

Blueb4sunrise July 15, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Rahm?

Vecchiojohn July 15, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Ernie Banks?

Chet Kincaid July 15, 2012 at 2:25 pm

What, no "Fridge?"

Texan_Bulldog July 15, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Jim McMahon, Mike Ditka? The mind boggles!

va_real July 15, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Fridge?

Texan_Bulldog July 15, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Jesse Jackson Jr. (who is still in hiding)?

Dr. Nick Riviera July 15, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Steve Baskerville?

Chet Kincaid July 15, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Haha, no. I'm Dan Jiggetts.

Chichikovovich July 15, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Howlin' Wolf? But I thought you were dead!

Kidneys4Sale July 15, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Don't worry, dude. We can go disguised as each other. Do you happen to own any whiteface?

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Bob and weave, man, bob and weave…

Designer_Rants July 15, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Too much personally identifying info? Whaddya mean!? I'm Poops McPooter, I live at 1010 Trickle Down Lane, I drive Cadillacs (or whatever the car elevator shoots out that day), and I have a "Don't Tread On Me" forehead tattoo (didn't need to color it in yellow, the jaundice does that), I like firing people, I retroactively retired recently, and I'm the world's foremost scholar on why "Abstinence Only" "education" works for society. I'm not ashamed of who I am! I'm POOPS MCPOOTER! 'Poops', with a "p"!!!1

BoatOfVelociraptors July 15, 2012 at 7:33 pm

As Romney would say, "What is up, dog?"

Preferred Customer July 16, 2012 at 9:10 am

"And how did you get off the roof?"

Steverino247 July 15, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I actually work at the Simian Ejaculate Research Facility at Monkeespunk, TN. I only pose as the President of the Creeping Sharia Horticultural Society.

However, I do enjoy having my balls rubbed, so there's your only hint.

fuflans July 15, 2012 at 3:52 pm

yes but chet if you've already told us what you look like, what will we have to guess?

now we can just hang out with you.

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Oh man, Chet, so you come to the party and everybody finds out your mama was white and your daddy was Kenyan, and they notice the horde of middle-aged men in dark suits and ties and thingies in their ears surrounding you. We won't tell anyone.

UW8316154 July 15, 2012 at 5:47 pm

As long as you do the awesome attack-ad pimp walk for us, over and over, we won't tell anyone…

/fixed

MittBorg July 15, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I hope you realize that I would NEVER (and as evidence, have never) posted any identifying information anywhere about any Wonketteer, including myself.

Boojum July 15, 2012 at 5:42 pm

I don't have to worry, because the Snark IS a Boojum.

MittBorg July 15, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Ever so meta, Snarkmeister Boojum.

Say, are we neighbours or sump'n? I coulda sworn I seen you in my neighbourhood.

Chichikovovich July 15, 2012 at 7:56 pm

When you saw him, did you say "It's a Boo…!"?

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 6:09 pm

I'm pretty sure I've posted enough information about MYSELF that anyone who stalks me* could figure out my secret identity using teh Googley thingie. I could prolly figure out who Barb is, but, I mean, the more mystery there is, the hotter she** is, dude.

*yeah, right!
**needz to have a Wonkette party in New Mexico so I can have some of that tasty fetus Barb-eque.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 15, 2012 at 7:37 pm

*** Get in line (The Barb-e-queue)
**** "I'll slip an extra shrimp on the barbie for you"

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 9:24 pm

**** Is that a "short" joke?

Antispandex July 15, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Ghost of Studs Terkel?

Butch_Wagstaff July 15, 2012 at 9:02 pm

I'm going to circumvent this by providing the following info about myself:
1) My name really isn't Butch Wagstaff.
2) I grew up in the central Appalachian region of the U. S. of A. Therefore, I can make jokes about incest (the consensual kind), trailer parks, voting Republican, shopping at Wal-Mart, Southern Baptists, and gun usage/ownership.
3) I currently live in Richmond, Virginia.
4) Told some people back in 2000 that, if elected, Dubya would be the worst President ever. I also predicted that he would get just one term.
5) I have been told I have perfect pitch. Yet I ended any musical endeavors after I learned how the play "Jingle Bells" on a Casio keyboard.
6) I'm one of those gays which means I'm tearing down the sacred something-thousands-year-old instiution of marriage and trying to get moose and squirrel marriages legalized.
7) My avatar pic you see on the Wonkette? Yep, that's me. It was taken before the invention of that fancy color digital photography.

MittBorg July 15, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Well, aren't YOU just the cutest thing since … I was gonna say wonderbread, but I think I already used that on Weejee. You can be the cutest thing since Weejee.

Designer_Rants July 17, 2012 at 1:20 am

Weren't you also formerly "loaded pants"? Or am I thinking of someone else… I loved that. And, did you just coin the phrase "Consensual Incest"? Congrats!

Limeylizzie July 15, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Same here, as soon as I open my mouth or take off my shirt , whichever comes first.

Vecchiojohn July 15, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Come to Portland next. We have beer. Lots of beer.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 July 15, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Yes, I second that one…we have beer, tasty, tasty beer.

Doktor Zoom July 15, 2012 at 2:58 pm

I couldn't make it to Seattle because Vlad the Impala crapped out on me, but, hey, once the car is fixed, Portland is a definite possibility!

(Yes, I am begging for repair funds. New discounted perks added today! They are retroactive to prior donors, of course. Is this begging unseemly? Yes, yes it is. I am poor, though, so "unseemly" doesn't bother me.)

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Now that you're blog posting at teh Wonkette, you aren't rolling in Ameros?

Doktor Zoom July 15, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Admittedly, it pays just a little bit more than Huffpo does.

HistoriCat July 15, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Now if only he could find a way to spend trucknutz.

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 6:17 am

On the other hand, society has understood for some time that it's possible to monetize buttseks.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:14 am

Yes, but you're rolling in even more Ameros, so kick a few over Dok's way like a good li'l rodent, whydon'tcha?

UW8316154 July 15, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Is paypal cool? I didn't click on the "contribute" button yet, but for a wonkette sticker, I think I might.

Doktor Zoom July 15, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Yes, paypal is very cool indeed, and is one of the default indiegogo payment options. Barter is a bit more difficult to arrange, but I am open to suggestions.

Thanks!

UW8316154 July 15, 2012 at 7:39 pm

What the hell, done! You'll know it is me because my first name has 9 letters. Just like my avatar.

We can talk barter, later. ;)

MittBorg July 15, 2012 at 8:44 pm

I want to give you $$ but I want to do it anonymously. Is there some way I can do that without your ever finding out who I might be?

Doktor Zoom July 16, 2012 at 12:55 am

You can be anonymous in several ways! I have seen a couple donors marked only as "anonymous," and even if you wrote out your identity, social security number, and preferred ice cream flavors in fire against the midnight sky, you'd still be safe because I have absolutely no memory for names.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:05 am

Trust me on this: you have NEVER EVER IN YOUR LIFE seen a name like mine, not even a little bit like mine. You might not remember the name but if you ever saw it again, you would recognize it instantly. And I am the only person in the whole world with my particular name as far as I can tell. So, I'm very serious. I want to send you $$ but will have to find some other way to do it, if you don't know of a way.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:13 am

Fuck unseemly. It's a lot unseemlier to be without. (Hugs Dok) I'll find a way to get some $$ into the Impala fund.

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 6:21 am

Sorry for being thick, but can you sort of spell out very simply how I can donate loot. Evidently people know, but I must have missed the memo.

Doktor Zoom July 16, 2012 at 10:30 am

Thanks! See the linky in my avatard.

Aw, hell, just click on this right here.

Tangled sin tax July 15, 2012 at 10:11 pm

You were coming all the way from Boise? I'm impressed. I'm 2 hrs closer in Baker City and think Seattle is ridiculously distant.(and has way too many people – I escaped in '99). Never gave a thought to heading for the gathering and now I'm exposed as a lazy bum.

How 'bout a meeting at Stockman's Bar in Baker? I hear drunken cowboys are the "in" decor this season. And at only 80 miles or so from Hell's Canyon we're at the center of all that's happenin'.

Doktor Zoom July 16, 2012 at 1:01 am

Baker City? That's actually where Vlad got towed after breaking down about 10 miles out of town (I found the only shade trees along I-84. Once the parts arrive and the work is done, I would happily meet up when I take the Hound to Baker & retrieve my car.

Tangled sin tax July 16, 2012 at 1:35 am

It would be interesting to confirm theexistenceof another leftie within a 500 mile radius…pop in; we're the big blue Victorian on Main Street you can see when standing at the Library on Resort. I'll be up on a lift scraping paint like every day this summer.

GregComlish July 15, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Who knew Bay Area Wonketteers were so ass-fuckable?

Left_Leftie July 15, 2012 at 2:19 pm

It was a great night! Love to all of you lurkers.
-The blah gal in DSC_017_2

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Word.

(I gave ya a little love yesterday in the invite thread, gorgeous.)

bobbert July 15, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Love back. You should comment more.

MissTaken July 15, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Was great meeting you, too. And yes, comment more…you are hilarious!

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 9:35 pm

About half the crowd was lurkers! Wasn't expecting that. Fun folks, all.

Left_Leftie July 16, 2012 at 3:10 am

Up-fists for everyone! Thanks for the encouragement, I will comment more.

glasspusher July 16, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Please do! We're all impostors here.

SiredByMittens July 16, 2012 at 4:59 am

The other brown attendee is a lurker no longer! (sadly MittensInspiredByMittens was too long…)

MissTaken July 16, 2012 at 9:34 am

Welcome aboard! Upfist for you

Extemporanus July 16, 2012 at 2:08 pm

HUZZAH AND HELLZ YEAH!!

Your new om nom nom de guerre is killer. I'm so damn proud of you, son…

*sniff*

(Sorry — just did a line.)

bobbert July 16, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Excellent. Good to see you (virtually).

Dr. Nick Riviera July 15, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Even if it actually came to Chicago, I wouldn't go lest I blow the average and we get a reputation as the Uggo meetup

Designer_Rants July 15, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Hey, it's the Midwest. Beauty isn't as practical as, say, farm subsidies.

va_real July 15, 2012 at 4:01 pm

I feel the same way. Not that I have to worry about an SC Wonky Drinky at a nice place like this, for example: http://www.bowensislandrestaurant.com/ or http://skullcreekboathouse.com/buoybar

HistoriCat July 15, 2012 at 9:06 pm

I'm pretty sure Rebecca is planning on being in NC for the convention … that might be a prime drinky-thing.

commiegirl99 July 15, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Historicat, YOU WOULD BE CORRECT.

va_real July 15, 2012 at 9:27 pm

I don't spend much time in Charlotte, but this place is where the local 'Drinking Liberally' conclaves are & it looks promising: http://dolcevitawines.com/

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 9:31 pm

I'm going to be in Raleigh in October. Can you get Barry to delay the convention for me so I can drop by for the drinky-thing? I mean, you ARE a close personal friend o' Barack, aren't ya?

Willardbot9000_V2.5 July 15, 2012 at 2:32 pm

….and not a single red, white and blue scooter in evidence…I am saddened and disappointed in all of you.

Left_Leftie July 15, 2012 at 3:10 pm

We had the prerequisite guy in rainbow tie-dye shirt, and there was baseball playing on all the TV's. That's pretty much USA SF-style right there.

va_real July 15, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Yes, but did y'all sing 'Take Me out to the Ballgame', the new national anthem?

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 9:48 pm

I wore tie dye shirt that so Fukui-san would recognize me when I picked him up at BART! Too funny.

MittBorg July 15, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Wait, that's YOU? So, which one is Fukui-San, then?

bobbert July 16, 2012 at 12:08 am

Ah hahahahaha. You'll never.

glasspusher July 16, 2012 at 12:29 am

Black Giants T shirt

Designer_Rants July 15, 2012 at 3:13 pm

So… What's up with KBJ?

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 4:06 pm

I think she's on … no, better not go there, wouldn't be prudent.

Designer_Rants July 15, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Is it the Jesse Jackson "mood disorder" thing? Or is she not coming back?

Boojum July 15, 2012 at 5:43 pm

She's on part time retroactive temporary retirement leave, for Pete's sake!

Designer_Rants July 15, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Oh, right. That retroactive retirement's been goin' around.

Butch_Wagstaff July 15, 2012 at 9:21 pm

I think I just caught it myself!

Negropolis July 15, 2012 at 11:33 pm

You're not going to let me live that down, are you? lol Let's just say that was a weird couple of days on Wonkette, and I took your comment as being part of that weird few days. And, by weird I mean there were a few days where some pretty regular members seemed to be all up in the administration and moderation's ass for little-to-no reason, demanding things at a free website.

Now, we can leave it in the past. :)

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 11:38 pm

Awwww, I was having so much fun milking that… OK, it was a weird few days.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 July 16, 2012 at 2:22 am

I guess I missed that period of oddity on account of my job (no I'm not mocking or acting superior…I worked at a fucking bank…I'm lucky whatever mental disorder Mittens has didn't rub off on me)…so that being said, can I have a redo? Because I'm really good at demanding free stuff…beer, food, sex…and this being a free site, I do have the cajones to demand free stuff from here, too.

Negropolis July 16, 2012 at 2:59 am

It was actually and basically a lot of "where's my weekened post that I've become accustomed to?/where are those lazy bitches with my weekend fix?" more than anything else, but it came from multiple folks, and I'd seen it one so many times that I wasn't able to discern when someone was joking and when they weren't. And, then I called flaming a dick for a snarky joke he made that I wasn't able to tell was a joke or didn't get the appropriateness of, and then I had a sad. :(

DemmeFatale July 15, 2012 at 3:14 pm

This looks a LOT more amusing than getting lost on the Stanford Campus, (I hate that place!), looking for Mr. Fatale's gig.
(It's a bummer when wifely duty trumps fun-time.)

berkeleyfarm July 15, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Bummer. I hope that this won't be the only one and you'll be able to come.

Fare la Volpe July 15, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Oh what the fresh fuck!

Did everyone in San Fran tumble out of a Land's End catalogue? STOP BEING ATTRACTIVE, GAH.

va_real July 15, 2012 at 4:03 pm

They look like a lot more fun than anyone I've ever seen in a LE catalog…

Pragmatist2 July 15, 2012 at 3:41 pm

What's with that one picture with everybody laying on their sides?

va_real July 15, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Apparently you don't need to go to Paris to get stacked horizontally?

SorosBot July 15, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Only one sideways picture is a pleasant surprise.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 15, 2012 at 4:56 pm

It was that kind of party. (San Francisco, doh.)

freakishlywrong July 15, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Libruls are sexy hot and look like really nice peeps. Becs is smokin' hawt. Will see you all in Florida. I'll be the tan, old, cool one with the "uge" knockers. Also tall. Too.

bobbert July 15, 2012 at 3:44 pm

It really was a grand time. As I mentioned at the time (probably more than once — there was an indeterminate amount of beer), it was particularly nifty to be in a bar and not be outnumbered.

A post-Drinkup anecdote: I stayed overnight at a nearby motel (since home is about three hours away). Around about one-ish, my internal BAC meter registered quarter-to-falling-over, so I strolled back to the motel, where I found that I had been evicted from my room (my luggage and whatnot, and for some reason the bedclothes, on the sidewalk in front of the open door). Happily, it was all a mistake, and I was able to collapse with only a brief delay.

What I want to know is, which of you put that desk clerk up to it? Huh? Hengh?

Really nice to meet you all. Thanks, Rebecca. When are we doing it again?

MittBorg July 15, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Which one are you?

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 15, 2012 at 10:56 pm

He's the attractive one.

Also, he's great to talk to!

MittBorg July 15, 2012 at 11:20 pm

OMG. Now which one are YOU?

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 15, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Guy doing stupid "crazy eyes" after I saw the delightful girl in the foreground screwing around for the camera.

BarackMyWorld July 15, 2012 at 3:46 pm

I'd say "come to Kansas City next," but most of the time I don't even want to be here.

Beowoof July 15, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Having been to KC, more than once, I would say I won't be stopping by even if the BBQ is pretty good.

BarackMyWorld July 15, 2012 at 5:05 pm

No one ever questions the awesomeness of the BBQ, just the awesomeness of every other thing.

Geminisunmars July 15, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Cater the BBQ to Denver.

Antispandex July 15, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Well, doesn't it depend on which side of the border you are on? I was under the impression that the Mo. side was better.

James Michael Curley July 15, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Ed Gillespie says of Mitt Romney, "He took a leave of absence and in fact he ended up not going back at all, and retired retroactively to 1999 as a result,"

I have read that same line on many Probation Officer's reports.

BlueStateLibel July 15, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Don't you get it? Quantum Mitt Rmoney can do anything! He can go back and forth in time and change everything if he wants. He's hardly subject to the laws of time and physics like us mortals, silly.

James Michael Curley July 15, 2012 at 4:40 pm

So you are saying he is Schreodinger's candidate?

Biel_ze_Bubba July 15, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Eggzactly.

Only if we peek into the box, after election day, will Mitt collapse into a single state. Until then, he remains in a superposition of quantum political states: retired and not retired, simultaneously for and against everything.

"[A]ccording to the latest theories, the “Mitt Romney” who seems poised to be the Republican nominee is but one of countless Mitt Romneys, each occupying his own cosmos, each supporting a different platform, each being compared to a different beloved children’s toy but all of them equally real, all of them equally valid and all of them running for president at the same time, in their own alternative Romnealities, somewhere in the vast Romniverse.
"And all of them losing to Barack Obama."

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 6:15 pm

But the Romney candidacy represents literally a quantum leap forward. It is governed by rules that are bizarre and appear to go against everyday experience and common sense.

At least he's faithful to his religion.

Designer_Rants July 15, 2012 at 7:14 pm

" in their own alternative Romnealities, somewhere in the vast Romniverse. "
Sounds absolutely awful!

MittBorg July 15, 2012 at 8:51 pm

And all of them will soon be meeting with one Biel_ze_Bubba to determine their fate. <– This is the part I like best.

MissTaken July 15, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I know that ass!

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Do you know its phone #?

MissTaken July 15, 2012 at 5:02 pm

I try not to call myself if I can avoid it.

Butch_Wagstaff July 15, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Have you now outed your ass on Wonkette?

MissTaken July 15, 2012 at 9:14 pm

My ass is out and proud.

Beowoof July 15, 2012 at 4:28 pm

It looks pretty good to me, but I am a pervy old man.

SorosBot July 15, 2012 at 5:03 pm

It is a very nice ass indeed.

Chichikovovich July 15, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Man, you've hooked up with one hot tomato! Hubba hubba.

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 9:51 pm

the 'Bot has excellent taste, indeed.

SorosBot July 15, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Oh I am a very lucky man indeed; as you now know MissTaken is incredibly cute in addition to being so smart and funny.

Antispandex July 15, 2012 at 6:00 pm

You can easily tell that I don't know it, or it would have teeth marks on it….just sayin'.

OneYieldRegular July 15, 2012 at 6:01 pm

It certainly wasn't me, because a) I wasn't wearing jeans; b) no one would ever consider photographing my ass; and C) that is not the bumper on which I placed my Wonkette bumper sticker.

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Something about it does look kinda familiar, but I can't quite put my finger in it.

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Not that you didn't try, I betcha.

Negropolis July 16, 2012 at 3:04 am

Extemporanus libel! I'm an sure he is the most gentlemanly gentleman.

Extemporanus July 17, 2012 at 4:34 am

Though a gentle man does not necessarily a gentleman make, your manly defense of my gentle manliness is most appreciated, man.

emmelemm July 15, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Damn, dat azz!

Seriously, nice ass.

starfanglednut July 15, 2012 at 7:44 pm

That's your butt? Rawr!

Chet Kincaid July 15, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Those are MissThang's hindquarters? Pleased to meet you!

bobbert July 16, 2012 at 12:13 am

Excellent update to your profile comment. ;>)

MissTaken July 15, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Great time was had! And I'm proud to have made it in the sideways photo per Wonkett tradition

Not_So_Much July 15, 2012 at 10:26 pm

It looks like the A's fan is getting ready to karate-chop you in half. Be vigilant.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 16, 2012 at 1:21 am

I thought he was an A's fan until I realized it said "Atheists". Top shirt, that.

Steverino247 July 15, 2012 at 11:02 pm

And now I've seen the Hands of Glory! (Nice ass, too!)

MissTaken July 15, 2012 at 11:13 pm

I had to keep a glass of beer in my hands at all times to keep them from being sad about not rubbing any balls. Well, unless Rebecca's tits count?

James Michael Curley July 15, 2012 at 4:45 pm

After it was over did the janitor find a lipstick message on the mirror?

Chichikovovich July 15, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Did anybody wake up in a tub of ice, missing a kidney?

James Michael Curley July 15, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Happened to me, twice. That bimbo from the Philippines is in for one hell of a surprise the next time she gets me drunk.

Sassomatic July 15, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Almost all of these people look way too decent to be the folks making dick jokes on Wonkette all day.

kittensdontlie July 15, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Yes, these are those same folks. Don't doubt it for a minute. You can see the shiftiness in their eyes. There is an impalpable feeling that many in the crowd are biting their tongues, resisting the urge to mention a certain man named johnson or woman who goes by pookie. Yea, looks like a bunch of great people!

BarackMyWorld July 15, 2012 at 5:10 pm

I swore I'd never get another internet crush after Sarah Benincasa deserted us, but a certain Ms. Schoenkopf is making me reconsider.

Boojum July 15, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Becca, honey child, Atlanta puhleeeze?

va_real July 16, 2012 at 12:01 am

Boojum, does Atlanta have a smoking ban in restaurants/ bars? I get over that way occasionally, but not recently…

Boojum July 16, 2012 at 3:11 am

Atlanta has a smoking ban in restaurants, unless the restaurant limits entry to people over the age of 18.

Negropolis July 16, 2012 at 2:38 am

Just for using "honey child" should Atlanta be blessed with a Wonkette touchdown.

ProgressiveInga July 15, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Was there buttsecks? Oh yeah, right…San Francisco. There was buttsecks.

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 9:53 pm

I got laid, but I brought a date…

Designer_Rants July 15, 2012 at 6:12 pm

The Plutocrats' Pron Pamphlet, Forbes, Has 35 Rude Questions For One Of Their Own
BTW, Chascates, I tried to submit this to Wonkville, but no dice. I tried it in Chrome and IE9, I tried it with an abbreviated "goog.le" type url. All I got was errors.

Geminisunmars July 15, 2012 at 7:32 pm

I love this. Here are the first 8 questions. #8 is lovely.

1. Are you contending that an individual can simultaneously be the CEO, president, managing director of a company, and its sole stockholder and somehow be “disassociated” from the company or accurately classified as someone not having “any” formal involvement with a company?

2. You have stated that in “Feb. 1999 I left Bain capital and all management responsibility” and “I had no ongoing activity or involvement.” It depends on what the definition of “involvement” is, doesn’t it? Clearly you were involved with Bain to the extent that you owned it. Are you defining “involvement” in a uniquely specific way that only means “full-time, active, 60-hours-a-week, hands-on manager?”

3. How exactly are you defining “involvement?”

4. Surely someone from Bain occasionally called you up and asked your opinion about something work related from 1999 to 2002. Wouldn’t that qualify as “involvement,” if only on a minor level?

5. You earned at least $100,000 as an executive from Bain in 2001 and 2002, separate from investment earnings according to filings with State of Massachusetts. Can you give an example of anyone else you personally know getting a six figure income, not dividend or investment return, but actual income, from a company they had nothing to do with?

6. What did you do for this $100,000 salary you earned from Bain in both 2000 and 2001?

7. If you did nothing to earn this salary, did the Bain managers violate their fiduciary duty by paying you a salary for no discernible reason?

8. Are there other companies that pay you six figures a year as earned income, not investment income, for which you have no involvement?
ETA: [And are they hiring??]

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Rmoney: ""It depends on what the meaning of the words 'are' are."

Willardbot9000_V2.5 July 16, 2012 at 2:30 am

Willard can't answer that pamphlet…he's running for President for Pete's sake! I somehow get the feeling RMoney would say something like "money is people, my friend" to get out of answering it….wingnuts are counting on this guy not answering policy-oriented or background-oriented (non-fluff) questions until he takes the oath of office…all they care about is he fits Norquists need for a warm hand to sign all their BS bills…which Mittbot does have a built in appendage-warmer so he fits the bill…

Geminisunmars July 16, 2012 at 12:17 pm

I agree. But the questions are succinct and damning, even without being answered. And interesting that they are even being asked by Forbes.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 16, 2012 at 7:28 am

Rhetorical angle: Apparently your investors had over a hundred thousand reasons to give you money after you left.

Name one.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 12:41 pm

As the Forbes writer pointed out, if Bain paid him a salary (in addition to his dividends, profits, and whatever else he siphoned off), they are in violation of their fiduciary duty — a legal issue — if he was not actually performing any services in return for that salary.

Chichikovovich July 15, 2012 at 8:10 pm

Ah, good link! First Fortune magazine deflated "Fast and Furious", and now Forbes cuts through the Romney-generated fog with basic questions. Even though the MSM is, as usual, doing its utmost to ensure that the fog doesn't get dispelled, at least the financial press hasn't forgotten how to ask simple and basic questions and not be satisfied until they get simple and basic answers to them.

I rather liked this one too:

34. You are obviously bright, hard working and energetic. Isn’t is possible that you put in 60 hours a week on the Olympics but still put in 5 hours a week as an active consultant or adviser by phone, email and the occasional meeting with the full time managers of Bain?

I'm sure you can all see the scimitar of a tacit continuation, poised to fall upon making the wrong choice: "And if you aren't capable of that, do you think you'll be up to the rigors of the president's schedule?"

Designer_Rants July 16, 2012 at 6:53 am

Heehee! I also too enjoyed all the implications made in that list of questions between "if you can't do this, how can you be president?", or "if you think it's okay to do this, how can you be president?". Very nice.

So, with all the nice reporting that Forbes has been doing lately (from extolling the benefits of Obamacare, to, as you put it, deflating "Fast & Furious", to this…) I'm wondering where Old Man Forbes is? You'd think he'd a put the kibosh on all this Marxist Leftist Commie-ness.

sharethegrief July 15, 2012 at 10:52 pm

#19: Romney remained on the board of the Lifelike Company.
I will laugh about this for the rest of the night.

Chet Kincaid July 16, 2012 at 8:52 am

Nice catch!

Chet Kincaid July 16, 2012 at 8:39 am

Devastating! But the author did miss one more little opportunity to stick the knife in:

10. On the very day after you took over the Winter Olympics, the Boston Herald reported that “Romney said he will stay on as a part-timer with Bain, providing input on investment and key personnel decisions.” Do you now contend this was factually inaccurate?

29. When asked “did you attend board meetings for Bain after 1999″ you responded by saying “I did not manage Bain after 1999,” or that you didn’t attend any meetings involving things like firing people…

Aren't things like firing people the definition of "personnel decisions?"

OneYieldRegular July 15, 2012 at 6:21 pm

A great time – thanks everyone! (& especially to Rebecca for organizing the festivities and managing to put the Richmond District definitively on the map). Wish I could have stayed longer.

VinnyThePooh July 15, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Needs moar Mr. Wu.

kittensdontlie July 15, 2012 at 6:50 pm

From my vantage point some three thousand miles away, it is quite evident that someone was hustling unsuspecting w-kettes at pool. With that windfall of ill-gotten gains, maybe now the side ads can be removed for our mutual benefit…

ttommyunger July 15, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Heh, heh……you said rear entry, heh, heh.

kittensdontlie July 15, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Do you know where ground-zero of the 2012 campaign is?! Poor Mittens does and he will be here tomorrow to pay homage to this bellwether-for-the-election football city. Lebron is gone and the Cuyahoga is no longer burning, so we are open for visitors!…we have beer and pool tables, and a bright future that's brimming full of important political Whose Who's…Come for a visit, stay for the election!

Steverino247 July 15, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Tell MIttens Steverino247 says, "FUCK YOU!:" Thanks.

kittensdontlie July 16, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Got you covered and I'm doubling down on that.

va_real July 16, 2012 at 12:21 am

Did they move Peoria???

kittensdontlie July 16, 2012 at 11:02 pm

They moved Monday to Wednesday…my mistake.

Boojum July 16, 2012 at 3:30 am

Whose who's are who?

CountryClubJihadi July 15, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Thank you, Rebecca, for your generous hospitality. It was delightful to spend some time with you and such a wonderful mix of terrific people. A true Tribe, indeed.

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Hey baby, consider yourself one of them. A pleasure to meet you! Me and the Ms. glasspusher will have to email you.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:44 am

Are you the pretty lady with the long blonde hair or the pretty lady with the glasses and short brown hair?

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 16, 2012 at 1:48 am

She's the pretty and fun lady who dodged being photographed.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 2:17 am

She must've heard me leering virtually at all the pretty ladies. Dammit.

littlebigdaddy July 15, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Denver next! But wait till I get back from my trip to Old Blighty!

littlebigdaddy July 15, 2012 at 8:23 pm

I'd hit that.

berkeleyfarm July 15, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Ms. Editrix is indeed super hot! Great to see some of you I met in the pix.

Extemp _is_ a handsome dude (as were many present); don't let him fool you. And yeah, he's tall.

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 9:54 pm

…but can he jump?

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 10:21 pm

He doesn't need to.

(Thank you, BF — you were incredibly sweet. And great pics GP — I'm very glad that you left the wide angle at home and thus were unable to shoot my head.)

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 10:29 pm

thanks. Yeah, by the time you got there I was about done with doing pix…and the crowd had split up into the smokers, outside, and us inside…I think the party peaked before this split happened, but I'm an old man and was one of the first to arrive, maybe I was just ready for the second shift to take over. How long did it go?

johnnyzhivago July 15, 2012 at 8:26 pm

When you come to Jersey I'll be sure to have Gov. Christie come by to scream at everyone.

va_real July 16, 2012 at 12:25 am

I was going to ask if that was a promise or a threat, but quickly realized the threat would be if he were to eat everyone or sit on them…

Limeylizzie July 15, 2012 at 9:07 pm

OK, I have been on a plane for hours and hours, my flight was supposed to leave at 7am Pacific time, at 7.45 the pilot announced that we were overweight, I was going to get off see if that helped, then he said they were deciding whether to lose passengers or cargo, then he said it involved math! An hour later we left, then ran into storms and had to go via Charleston, finally arrived in NYC at 5pm Eastern Time. I am fucking exhausted…oh and I'll take the gentleman with the silver hair, that hot chick , who appears to be the only woman of colour, the blonde with the long hair and the man with crazy eyes in the black t-shirt who looks as if he would be game for anything, and our bonny editor. Thanks

HistoriCat July 15, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Math is hard! Who knew Pilot Barbie would need math?

(seriously – that's some painful flying … but you are back home now, right?)

Limeylizzie July 15, 2012 at 9:22 pm

I am installed in my Harlem abode with a/c blasting , am about to take a shower and then crash as I have been up for hours and only got about 4 hours sleep last night.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 15, 2012 at 10:48 pm

"That hot chick" was immensely good fun and I enjoyed speaking to her a lot. As with everyone else.

I'm the crazy-eyes fellow.

Steverino247 July 15, 2012 at 11:01 pm

I know a doctor who can fix that…

Limeylizzie July 15, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Excellent! She looks really fun and so do you, ya maniac!

MittBorg July 15, 2012 at 11:27 pm

I thought that might be you, you little nutbag. Geez! You are as cute as a bug! (It's the eyes.)

va_real July 16, 2012 at 12:27 am

I agree with Limeylizzie- you look like a fun dude!

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 5:29 am

I'm the crazy-eyes fellow.

That's you? Coooool. I would never have guessed, were it not for the fact you've just told us.

Well, that and the nametag.

Steverino247 July 15, 2012 at 10:59 pm

You're not greedy.

Glad you're home safe and under the influence of a/c.

bobbert July 16, 2012 at 12:26 am

What a crummy trip. You shoulda come to SF instead. Glad you're back safely.

As Fukui-san said, "that hot chick" was not only hot but hilarious. (So was everybody else).

– silver-haired guy

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 12:30 am

So THAT's you! Hi!

Left_Leftie July 16, 2012 at 3:22 am

That hot chick was indeed the only woman of color and She/ I had a blast with all of you. Thanks Editrix!

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Well, the OTHER Person Of Colour was trapped high up on a hill. But I like you a LOT already, so please come back and make trouble.

Blueb4sunrise July 15, 2012 at 9:27 pm

If you play the audio backwards, it explains exactly how Barry's birth certificate was faked.

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 9:50 pm

I listened to it for 4 minutes and 15 seconds and turned it off because no one had broken out into a rendition of "America the Bootyful" yet. I did play Barry's "Mitt is not the solution" ad video at the same time as I was listening to the audio and it fleshed it out appreciably.

Steverino247 July 15, 2012 at 11:00 pm

I distinctly heard, "Paul is dead." But I can't figure out if that was a Beatles reference or a wish about the Political Pauls, Ron and Rand.

va_real July 16, 2012 at 12:30 am

Ron Paul always wears a glass onion attached to his belt- it was the style when he was a youngster…

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Jesus H Christ in a chicken basket, I submit the most pix, including the eminently fappable pool shot of the Editrix (1 out of 1 Boojums (Booja?)agree) and the only shot I'm in nobody takes out my red eye? Where's the love?

MissTaken July 15, 2012 at 11:15 pm

True, but it's sideways red eye and everyone knows sideways red eye is the best red eye.

glasspusher July 16, 2012 at 12:28 am

That's deep

va_real July 16, 2012 at 12:32 am

The red eyes enhance your devilish handsomeness…

glasspusher July 16, 2012 at 12:56 am

Possession is 9/10 of the exorcism, I suppose…

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 15, 2012 at 11:21 pm

That is a cracking shot of the editrix.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 12:26 am

The Editrix is way too cute and sexy to be editrixing among hostiles. Next time I shall swoop down from my eyrie and kidnap her.

bobbert July 16, 2012 at 12:27 am

Where were you, anyhow?

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 12:30 am

Hiding in my eyrie.

bobbert July 16, 2012 at 12:29 am

Well, it kind of picks up the color in your shirt.

glasspusher July 16, 2012 at 12:37 am

All of em, Katie?

bobbert July 16, 2012 at 12:58 am

As I recall, your eyes weren't quite that kaleidoscopic.

Great pictures, BTW, considering how blurry we all were (or was that me?).

glasspusher July 16, 2012 at 1:20 am

Not like that girl at the turnstile.Thanks. I was shooting nearly wide open (so to speak) so the depth of field was small, but I think that adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the shots, considering how warm and fuzzy the evening was

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 1:30 am

♫ Your red scarf matches your eyes,
Close cover before stri-i-i-king.
Father has the shipfitter blues,
Loving you has made me bananas! ♫

Not_So_Much July 15, 2012 at 10:24 pm

I want to gay-marry all of you so hard right now.

Where was this shit when I lived close two years ago? DAMMIT!

Joshua Norton July 15, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Audio needz moar cowbell.

commiebro July 16, 2012 at 2:46 pm

that's weird, because I used the cowbell filter on that track….I'll see if I can find the master. Ah! Master! There you are….

Negropolis July 15, 2012 at 11:22 pm

Okay, that pool shot looks professionally taken. You guys didn't shoot a feature film in SF, did you? Wonkette: The Movie.

glasspusher July 16, 2012 at 12:41 am

I used to be a professional- thanks for the compliment. I found out that electrochemistry pays better and has better hours, though. I'd be happy to help on a movie! That would be fun. How about stop-action animation? That could be a riot!

Negropolis July 16, 2012 at 2:35 am

Only if it includes copious amounts of Yakety Sax.

fishwharf July 16, 2012 at 12:27 am

You all look so young.

glasspusher July 16, 2012 at 12:43 am

It's the Vaseline smeared on the lens for that Kathy Lee Gifford/Dinah Shore soft focus thing. So many uses for that stuff…

LettucePrey July 16, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Well, I DO sleep in a jar of formaldehyde…

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:15 pm

YOU'RE the pretty blonde!

LettucePrey July 16, 2012 at 1:25 pm

*blushes*… thanks for outting me, Mittens! But I owe it all to glasspusher's wondrous photography work.

Also, I took the other (lamer) photos, like the sideways one.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Sorry! Sorry! I was just so thrilled to finally figure out who the pretty blonde was. And it does look like your photo. You don't mind if I leer at you, do you? It's a thing. I just do it routinely with all stunningly gorgeous LayDeez. (Leers)

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:38 am

Oh, dear god that is SO sad. I almost feel sorry for them (until I remember what their nasty ideology will do to so many suffering folks. I hope you flipped 'em the finger. Nah, you're too nice.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 16, 2012 at 1:39 am

After observing those pictures I insist the next Seattle meetup take place near a billiards table.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 16, 2012 at 1:49 am

I'm actually a little miffed that I missed The Great Wonkette Pool-Off.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 16, 2012 at 8:14 am

Garage or Deluxe? The most famous places for a little bit of stick and ball play on Capitol Hill.

Ok, not really. I'm sure the Cuff might have that market segment occupied.

shortsandpants July 16, 2012 at 3:32 am

People from San Franciso are the most well-dressed, civilized, good mannered, self-aware, balanced, philanthropic, socially aware people ever measured by a judgmental crowd of San Franciscans.

bobbert July 16, 2012 at 3:56 am

Yeah. And we had some fun, too.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 16, 2012 at 8:16 am

And then they got caught in traffic.

Chet Kincaid July 16, 2012 at 8:40 am

Why is Rita Hayworth in so many of these pictures?!

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 8:48 am

Naw, it's just some lady from Shanghai.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:37 pm

*That's* whom she reminds me of!

Mojopo July 16, 2012 at 8:59 am

Looks like you had a ball! Hello gay hippies! I have an idea! Why don't you all put on your fat pants and come to Chicago? You really need to swing back this way. I bet those good looking, health conscious hipsters in San Fran don't smoke cigarettes, but we will.

Preferred Customer July 16, 2012 at 9:13 am

Why has there not been one of these in Washington? We have politics, you know. And interns.

Estproph July 16, 2012 at 10:58 am

Spoke to my girl on the phone t'other day
She said she wish I'd come there right away
In Boston Massachusetts where she lives
Got to get there for the love she gives

Catch a plane and soon I will be gone
And I'll be in her arms before too long
In Boston Massachusetts she'll be there
And we'll be together everywhere

You see I'm leaving cause I'm sad
Got a girl and I want to see her bad
You see I'm not leaving 'cause of you
I just can't stand to sit here feeling blue

Can't go on when I don't like this town
I feel so bad not having her around
In Boston Massachusetts where she lives
Got to get there for the love she gives

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Boston, REPRESENT!

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ July 16, 2012 at 11:20 am

I WANT A WONKETTE ASS STICKER

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I think you have to give Dok Zoom munniez for his beloved Vlad the Impala to get one. They're not that expensive, and perfectly sized for the average ass cheek. Go to ID, look for Dok, and the site is linked to his av. Give him munniez, and, whammo-scalammo, you gotz yourself an ass sticker.

lulzmonger July 16, 2012 at 2:10 pm

DAT CORNER-POCKET

horsedreamer_1 July 16, 2012 at 7:29 pm

You know who else used billiards as euphemism for sexy time?

LePiston July 16, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Have you seen the guy who stands on the corner near WC BART waving the "Pray For America" sign? People ask me if that's my dad :( It's not. The Tea Party is vocal out this way, especially towards Danville.

Crank_Tango July 15, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I didn't hear Randy complaining.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 15, 2012 at 7:21 pm

You must be tall to have arms that reach up into Seattle.

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Short people got no reason…

Crank_Tango July 15, 2012 at 1:10 pm

In that case, there is a certain midget hooker at the corner of post and larkin I'd like you to meet…

RadioSlut July 15, 2012 at 1:14 pm

That's a stretch.

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 1:36 pm

As someone who prettty much tops out at 12 inches when standing tall, I'm offended.

Wait …

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 1:15 pm

You know my ex?!

(Not even fooling: She's 5-foot-flat when her hair's done way up, and she lives on the corner of Post and Larkin! Did I say that to you out loud on Friday? Or do you just have excellent taste in trannies?)

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 1:19 pm

That was my grandpa's nickname for me growing up.

(Again, not even fooling. It's turning into "This Is Your Life" up in here, and I'm beginning to get a little nervous.)

Geminisunmars July 15, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Hey, Ex, remember me? I was the one exhorting others to help enlarge your P-ness? (I see it didn't work. :-(

RadioSlut July 15, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Hence the joke.
Oh my, I finally got Extem on something. I knew that. Or your wife is genetically related to Copernicus. The Psychologist said my cognitive function is still intact, or, "You're smart and you like to drink…..not a good combination."

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 1:49 pm

How could I forget! Sorry if I didn't thank you the other night for selflessly leading that last ditch humanitarian effort – I was probably in the process of being late.

Enlarged p-ness or not, I nonetheless decided to honor my half of the deal, and presented Rebecca with a Polaroid picture of the Full House house, autographed by Danny Tanner.

I also presented her with MissTaken – as she had graciously volunteered – autographed by SorosBot.

Geminisunmars July 15, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Vicariously thrilled!!

emmelemm July 15, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Question: why do super tall guys like super short chicks?

(speaking as a super short chick)

Crank_Tango July 16, 2012 at 4:05 pm

I lived in the Loin for a few months this winter, so I have really good taste in trannies. I don't wanna say connoisseur, but…

Fare la Volpe July 15, 2012 at 3:33 pm

There's was a 5' nothin" Indian girl in the cafe last night with the most gorgeous 6'5" mocha-colored African gentleman on her arm, dressed in a perfectly tight button up and high tops and an impeccably maintained goatee that framed his lips. He ordered a sugar cookie and winked at me as he passed my table.

What's the French for "I melted"? Because that's the only phrase romantic enough to do the scene justice.

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 3:44 pm

My wife is 5'10" — this tall guy just likes chicks.

That said, there is a certain something about being climbed and scampered on like a jungle gym…

Crank_Tango July 16, 2012 at 4:06 pm

this is worthless without pics…

Fare la Volpe July 15, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Hey there, how ya doin'. Come here often?

Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 3:51 pm
Extemporanus July 15, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Apparently, I really need to be more careful about the pillow talk. (You were wonderful, by the way!)

As for the Copernicus hypothesis, ya totally got me there. (A little mystery is good in life, right?) I'm gonna choose to chalk it up to the benefits of your new routine, and not to the detriment of my old one.

Chichikovovich July 15, 2012 at 5:49 pm

"J'ai fondu."

Not a bad resonance to it, though without the extended romantic flow of sounds in "Tu sens comme une moufette pourri."

Butch_Wagstaff July 15, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Indeed there is (sez a 6'2" dude with a thing for short fellas).

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 10:07 pm

I'm 5'6" and have dated girls from 5 foot 2 to 5 foot 10. Tall girls? Short girls? Love 'em all.

MittBorg July 15, 2012 at 8:40 pm

[...] Some fancied they heard in the air
A weary and wandering sigh
Then sounded like "-jum!" but the others declare
It was only a breeze that went by.

SorosBot July 15, 2012 at 9:37 pm

And now everyone knows you have that amazing ass instead of just me.

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Please note the lipstick on her left cheek in one of the shots. If there was one thing I wish I could have done that I didn't was do a collage of all the folks who had lipstick on their cheeks, which was pretty much all of us by the end of the night.

glasspusher July 15, 2012 at 10:04 pm

I always say: “good looks last until you open your mouth”. MissTaken and the rest of the folks just got more beautiful as the evening progressed, and it wasn't because of the booze (not that that hurt things!)BTW, LettucePrey was an absolute scream!Ms. glasspusher is in the third shot down, where Our Editrix is snarling for the camera.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 15, 2012 at 10:06 pm

****** This comment is six asterisks long, un-moderated.

flamingpdog July 15, 2012 at 10:11 pm

I had melted cheese? Sounds tasty, but not so romantic.

Limeylizzie July 15, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Damn.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 15, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Strictly speaking, by the time we meet, their fate's pretty much set. Exceptions have been rare of late.

MittBorg July 15, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Yeah, I finally figured that out. You're TALL and CUTE. Winning combo, dood.

MittBorg July 15, 2012 at 11:38 pm

No more take-backs, huh?

So, the meeting is just to have their horrible fate explained to them? Too bad I can't bring myself to feel sorry! BWAHAHA!

va_real July 15, 2012 at 11:56 pm

You are also a lucky man, glasspusher- she is lovely.

bobbert July 16, 2012 at 12:10 am

Oh, he gave it away. I'm the other guy.

glasspusher July 16, 2012 at 12:30 am

Thank you. Yes, she is. Celebrated our 15th this weekend, too.

bobbert July 16, 2012 at 12:42 am

I seem to recall that you've mentioned that you no longer care much for big crowd scenes or the drinky thing, and it was for sure crowded and drinky. I was kind of hoping you might put in a guest appearance, but you can't have everything.

glasspusher July 16, 2012 at 12:48 am

Carpal Tunnel of Love!

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 16, 2012 at 1:05 am

First in, last out. I got adopted by a nice young lady before leaving.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:08 am

I did awreddy, dood. He was most sweet and obliging about revealing his self.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:09 am

Yes, he did, like the sweetheart that he is. Why are all of you so goddamn gorgeous? I demand my money back.

glasspusher July 16, 2012 at 1:13 am

Hard core! I'm impressed.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:17 am

It's a bit more complicated than that. I've had multiple surgeries on a leg, and I live high up on a hill, so leaving the house is iffy most days, and virtually unheard of most nights. But I was there vicariously, and thoroughly enjoyed ALL of you!

Doktor Zoom July 16, 2012 at 1:19 am

You're too kind–and in all seriousness, the option to donate anonymously is indeed there.

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 6:18 am

Weedlord? Is that you?

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 1:28 am

Oh man, it would so have rocked if you had rolled into the bar on a Hoveround.

Geminisunmars July 16, 2012 at 1:29 am

Where was that? It has been years – no, decades – since I've hung out in a bar. You know how us elites get when we get old. Highlands seems to be growing lotsa "hip" places for eats, drinks, and the peoplez watching. That was my stomping grounds in the olden times, before it was hep. Now I dwell in the SE parts of town, although we go to lots of small theater around various areas.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:33 am

For some reason, I'm hearing that with a LOT of guitar in the background …

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 1:40 am

I thought you were on the Western Slope. I work in the SE parts of Denver, close to Glendale. Straight Johnson's was on Broadway, not too far from the capitol building. The joke was, of course (of course, if you've lived in Colorado forever) that the name was a takeoff on the long-time, well-known Gay Johnson's restaurants in Palisade and Montrose, Gay Johnson being the owner, not his sexual orientation.

EDIT: And, heh heh, johnson.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:46 am

It would, wouldn't it? I must try to figure out if I can get one for the next drunkfest.

Geminisunmars July 16, 2012 at 1:51 am

I think I gave an ambiguous response some time ago (aka misleading) as to my location, but no, I'm in Denver (since '75 except for a couple of years in Casper) and didn't know about the Johnsons, Gay or Straight.Were you familiar with Encore restaurant and bar? They were part of the new Tattered Cover complex on Colfax across from East High. I have some affiliations with the old Bonfils that was there, and that would have been a fun place to meet.

flamingpdog July 16, 2012 at 2:03 am

The name rings a bell, but I don't ever remember being there. I haven't exactly been a party animal in Denver since moving to Colorado, mostly food and a beer or two.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 2:11 am

Just another Friend of Wonketz. I figured out how to do it. Will do tomorrow. Thanks, Dok!

va_real July 16, 2012 at 2:33 am

What- did y'all get married in some country that allows you to get married in elementary school?

va_real July 16, 2012 at 2:40 am

Just remember to pay your exorcist so you won't get repossessed…

Left_Leftie July 16, 2012 at 3:37 am

Great shot's man! You made us all look good.

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 5:16 am

Non, non. I had strawberries dipped in melted chocolate! Those French, always such flair with the sexy metaphors.—

homotownrecords July 16, 2012 at 5:39 am

Gah it's me Editrix. My little brother is logged in on my puter. Which he always does, in all my accounts, and then he clicks 'remember me" so HE'S the one all the accounts default to. It's really fucking uncool.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 16, 2012 at 8:09 am

The devil is in the details.

glasspusher July 16, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Well played, sir.

HistoriCat July 16, 2012 at 9:51 am

I was going to go with a classic buttseks reference first but then ran into that very problem …

Biel_ze_Bubba July 16, 2012 at 10:10 am

Not since that Theseus fellow.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Wow, and his p-ness is only 36, poor guy. Thanks, Editrix.

Just remember that this makes you a GREAT older sister! (Of course, if anyone touches MY computer I KILL and KILL and KILL them, but that's different.)

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 12:35 pm

I know this is some arcane Simpsonian reference that I'm just not getting.

No, wait, is this The Hitchhiker's Guide? Never mind.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I don't know. Les moufettes pourri might disagree.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 12:58 pm

YA SEE? YA SEE? He hasn't even SEEN me and already he recognizes me.

Chichikovovich July 16, 2012 at 1:01 pm

The Shining. Lloyd's the spooky affectless bartender.& In the bathroom leaving the bar to clean his clothes of the spilled Avocat drink, the server Grady has this exchange with Jack:Jack: Mr. Grady. (significant look) were the caretaker here.Grady:I'm sorry to differ with you sir, but you are the caretaker. You've always been the caretaker. I should know sir.: I've always been here.—

glasspusher July 16, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I wish! We started in grad school. We're not married, but we have a kid. We celebrate the anniversary of our first date- we went to see Rocky Horror, and so we did on Saturday night as well.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Or close by, at any rate, right, Biely?

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Oh god yes. OMG. I must watch that again. Thanks, Chich. You're a kind soul to minister to the terminally ignorant as you do.

Crank_Tango July 16, 2012 at 1:33 pm

True, it all depends on who is on whose knees.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I knew we wuz neighbours! I'm one exit up from you, off the 13.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 1:45 pm

He woulda been fine if he'd just left that skanky Pirithous dude alone.

Crank_Tango July 16, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Oh howdy neighbor! Wait, so you weren't wearing a tag then? Isn't that a party foul?

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 3:59 pm

I wasn't there. In fact, you're not likely to run into me anywhere in the neighbourhood, since I'm a gimp and rarely descend my two bazillion stairs to interact with the real world. I live in one of those houses in the hills that has endless stairs. But if you do see a short brown person with a hiking stick anywhere out on the Bay trails, that could be me. It's one of the few temptations that lures me out of my eyrie. I used to hike the entire area, all the way from Napa down to the Pinnacles. Now it's an occasional mile here or there.

MittBorg July 16, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Any day now, they'll be all the way down to Paler Altars. Don't they already run down to Colma, and stuff? I coulda used a Paler Altar line back when I had to commute down there. Nothing like the Dumbarton under a foot of water in a raging winter storm.

GeorgiaBurning July 16, 2012 at 6:46 pm

The Dublin-Pleasanton line goes out 580, inviting the Central Valley folks to venture into the city while leaving the Silverado parked among the familiar surroundings of car dealers and big box stores.

va_real July 16, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Ah, so it's all that 'Let's Do the Timewarp" that's kept y'all looking so young… Carry on.

Extemporanus July 17, 2012 at 5:05 am

A-HA! So you do know her!

Her stage name is "Connie Sewer", and she really is something else…

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