If you like having the minutiae of internal Catholic Church politics dissected, you know where to go: Kathryn Lopez, on the National Review Online’s Corner, the world’s greatest Internet blog. But what if you want the same sort of deal, only you jones for inside info and analysis on the Anglican Communion? The world’s greatest Internet blog has you covered, friend! Charlotte Hays is here to tell you all about the catty queens who are ruining the perfectly nice religion that American’s old aristocracy used to belong to, before we replaced them with fratty stockbrokers. The Episcopalians just had a little confab in Indianapolis (gross) in which they approved a rite to bless gay unions. Somehow Charlotte Hays translated this into the headline “Why Aren’t Episcopalians Sexy?”, which, uh?
When your Comics Curmudgeon was in grad school, he had a crush on a lady professor for about three weeks until one day she came to class in her collar and it turned out she was an Episcopal priest and all sexy thoughts were instantly cleansed away. But this does not appear to be what Ms. Hays is on about, with her headline? Instead, it’s all about the gays. Do you want to read one of the cattier paragraphs written in English this week? Here you go!
The Right Reverend Gene Robinson, the homosexual bishop of New Hampshire, whose consecration in 2003 almost split the Episcopal Church, looked to be everywhere at the Indianapolis convention. At one point, the Right Reverend even took to the floor to deny nasty rumors that there was trouble in paradise between himself and his ‘beloved Mark.’ Thanks for sharing, Gene. Glad my mother didn’t live to see it, though.
Yes, if there’s one thing Charlotte Hays’s mother hated, it’s tedious whinging about relationship status. Who cares about how happy or unhappy you are, get to the hot gay sex! Leave the big pointy hat on, it’s symbolic, of your cock.
Or, wait, I guess that’s not it. It’s not sexy unless there are babies involved.
“One striking point, at least to this writer, was the fact that there was no reference in any of the Bishop’s comments to the one aspect of sex that is relevant to the survival of the human species, namely, human reproduction. For all we know every other aspect of ‘sexuality’ is purely the result of human socialization,” a report in Virtueonline, a traditional Anglican website, noted.
In a way, that sums up the sad proceedings in Indianapolis: sterile. Yes, for all its debate about sexuality, the word that comes to mind for this 77th General Convention is sterile. Oddly enough even for an inveterate General Convention watcher such as myself, it was all sort of boring and sad.
Welp, that’s it, if the Episcopalians want to really pack ‘em in the pews, they’ve got to go in for prego porn. This has been your Wonkette religion desk post for today. [NRO]
{ 224 comments }
Jesus Fuck! Brooks and J.Lo. back to back? What're you trying to do to us? Drive us to start drinking?
Hey, thanks for that…
Do TGIF me bro.
Wonkette, sponsored by Anheuser-Busch Inbev…
Argghhh….
Ironically, she loved Facebook though.
Not sexy, because no sex with altar boys.
Sexy is to Episcopalians as _______________ is to _______________.
Our very own Miller Analogies Test.
Supernovas: paste.
intelligent is to tea-partiers.
empathy/conservatives?
The completely and totally deserving elite / David Brooks
David Brooks — The champagne of bores.
Amber Milt is to bon mot.
Vegamite:taste
Apple Store: Radio Shack
Dressage: a sport.
Mitt Romney: real human being
Miller: Red Tail Ale.
As fidelity is to pizza, I mean Hermain Cain.
If Wonkette can have a Religon Desk, I want a Religon Shower Curtain!!!!
For maximum privacy in the shower, I suggest the "Creeping Sharia Shower Curtain".
You've got a point there. I rarely consult the Terror Alert Level when I get in the shower. I should stop to think.
Sort of related: my wife called me from home about 10 minutes ago to ask if it's safe to take a shower during a thunderstorm (we're having one right now; a rare weather event our our part of the country).
I told her she's safe as long as she doesn't take her shower outside.
I am sure I'm not speaking of your lovely wife when I say there are many wives that should never shower outside.
Sort of related: When, in my youth, it would thunderstorm, Mom would hand me a curtainrod and suggest I go outside and reenact my favorite lightsaber duels in Star Wars.
I got a shock when in the bathtub during a thunderstorm. Nobody in my house showers or bathes during a thunderstorm.
If you see something…point and laugh.
Since we don't have an Iron Curtain anymore.
Are Religons the Klingon keepers of the priestly artifacts?
Oh my. My bad spelling is showing….again. Darn it.
The Klingons don't have priestly artifacts; they killed their gods long ago, and the Sword of Kahless was lost over a millennium ago. Yes, Worf, Kor and Jadzia Dax found it, but set it adrift in space.
Will it have those fat little baby cherubs on it? Or will it have, you know, sayings from great religions of the world about how wonderful it is to KILL and KILL and KILL YOUR ENEMIES AND LET THEM BURN IN HELL!!!
Sorry. Meds wore off.
I was thinking transparent but…I really like that idea. Of course, then any peekers can't see my KILL YOUR ENEMIES AND LET THEM BURN IN HELL!!! manmp stamp.
You got your self a BUTT TATTOO, J_W?
Shocking. And I thought you wuz one of us Oldz.
Well, the tat was on my shoulders…when I was younger. TMI?
Translation: Charlotte's got a couple of bookshelves of bishop on bishop porn.
It's hard to imagine this Charlotte Hays would enjoy that.
And by hard, I mean imagining her imagining it gets me…hard. But so does scrotal punching, so YMMV.
Looking at that picture, I'd sure say so.
Sterile non-sexy gay Episcopal bishops should check out the Fox News magazine- I hear they have some great tips for keeping your relationship sexy..
Do they use holy water in Anglican churches?
Every time you walk through a door a pillow falls on your head and a nun comes to kiss your boo boo!
I thought the priests preferred altar boys to kiss their boo-boo. (Is *that* what Teh Youngz are calling it these days? Suddenly the Yogi Bear cartoons of my childhood feel so … *tainted.*)
These days religious buzz is that, if you like the ritual and interest in social conscience of Catholicism without the creepy misogyny and altar-boy raping, Episcopalianism is worth a look. I guess Hays misses the creepiness, though.
When your Comics Curmudgeon was in grad school, he had a crush on a lady professor for about three weeks until one day she came to class in her collar and it turned out she was an Episcopal priest and all sexy thoughts were instantly cleansed away.
Pussy. I would have doubled down
Amen to that!
I grew up an evanglical Lutheran. All my ministers were these deep-voiced older white men.
I stopped going to that church, well, basically when I set out to find my own path. When my dad died a few years back, my mom asked me to make the funeral arrangements, so I met with the minister.
Rawrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! She was hawt. I would have almost immediately signed up again for the congregation if it wasn't for the, you know, dogma.
i was in Catholic school over in Tiawan. some of the younger nuns were pretty sweet, my brother. I was ready to go to hell.
A college roommate (who now lives is Wasilla, btw) regularly attended Moonie meetings solely because Moonies encourage females adherents to use sex as a recruiting tool. He was basically "Off to my Moonie meeting tonight, bro. I'm going to get laid. See you at midnight!"
FWIW, a google-image search for "sexy episcopalians" is mostly disappointing.
But it's still okay for priests to be pedophiles?
Okay? I thought it was obligatory?
That's *different,* yaknow.
That's a Catholic thing, no? Epsicopalians are too boring to have sex with anything.
I've been to Episcopalian weddings, and she has a point.
You need the deep dark twist of Catholicism to do sexy right.
Ah, beat me to it.
The guilt is the icing on the cake… or whatever.
Sex without guilt is like a boat without a rudder. What hippy planet did these Protestants come from?
For extra suffering, go Jewish. All of the guilt, none of the sex.
I don't care about the article.
Break me off a piece of that guy in the pic!
Rowr!
Showed it the partner, he was all like "Hmph," but yeah, that man is a piece of TASTY!
What actually is the difference between Episcopalians and Presbyterians anyway? I can't figure out the goyish world.
I'm still trying to figure out Methodists. Wassup with that?
fuckin' calvin!
There's at least some methodist to their madness.
Are they like Reform Episcopalians? Or Conservative Lutherans? Go figure!
And what are their methods, exactly?
As a kid, I grew up in a neighborhood with Lutheran, Presbyterian, Catholic, Seventh Day Adventist, Baptist, Pentacostal and Methodist churches all within 4 blocks of my house.
Sometimes, as I pedaled my green Sting Ray about the neighbor hood, I pondered the differences between the Christian sects, and their various houses of worship.
I decided the Catholics probably had the most money.
Not in my neighborhood!
A Jewish friend once asked me about the various Christian sects, winding up with, "What IS it with you people?" I didn't have a good answer beyond harrumphing about my becoming agnostic, though.
You should have asked him to explain the difference between Orthodox, Hassid, and Lubavitch, and watch him turn beet red.
Ah, see, it's only thanks to my World Religions elective in the 9th grade that I knew about the difference between Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform.
But my understanding is that Christianity has everyone beat when comes to schisming.
Just ask the Judean People's Liberation Front!
Talk to the Hindus. They're just less obvious about the schisming. (Or, Westerners don't bother studying anything outside their own culture, so there's very little written about it?)
income
I thought the difference was Episcopalians = uptight English & Presbyterians = uptight Scottish? I could be wrong- I'm not a Christian, either.
And Lutheran = (even more) uptight German and Scandinavian. Okay, now it's making sense!
Episcopalian / Anglicans aren't that uptight, as far as I know, they just like the dressing up for the Catholic-lite ceremonies.
We're missing Baptists out of this list of random list of Protestants… they're uptight something else? I think they're the Church for people who think Presbyterians have too much fun.
Inbred. Baptists are inbred.
High Church Anglicans or Low Church Anglicans?
If I recall correctly:
Episcopalians = Anglicans = Church of England (happy-clappy, nice frock, don't really believe in God)
Presbyterians = Church of Scotland (dour, serious, you're a sinner and you should be punished)
Not at all a bad analogy. though we do believe in god, we just think we're his faves.
I defer to your experience, of course! In fact, there was a Kirk Minister who came to my Primary School was very happy-clappy (and insisted on playing the guitar badly*), so I could be completely wrong on the Presbyterians too.
* I often state that the lack of separation of Church and State in the UK causes it's higher rate of Atheism. There's only so many compulsory assemblies with bad guitar music you can stand before you give up belief in a higher power.
Oh, there's no question as to the happy-clappy! When you're part of a religion that tells you if you fuck up, God still loves you, doesn't really do guilt and is fine with you doing pretty much everything every other protestant sect says not to, why wouldn't you be happy-clappy???
Heh. "Happy-clappy music" is what my partner calls it.
But he's a bit of snob that way because he's used to playing Bach on a keyboard that didn't have to be plugged into an electrical outlet.
God's Frozen People!
My father was raised Presbyterian and my mother was raised Anglican (aka Episcopalian) . They both swore off religion when they grew up. (unless you count that brief flirtation with Unitarianism). Good Presbyterians don't drink. Good Anglicans do.
I think Ambrose Bierce defined Presbyterians as "Members of a religious sect that fervently believes that their church elders should be called presbyters."
Presbyterians frown at sex because it might lead to- gasp! dancing.
My Episcopal in-law type relation said "where four or more are gathered there is a fifth" so let the drinking begin. Gawd said it's ok. Somewhere there's a wedding in Cana.
Ha! Muslims have a similar saying, only the extra is always Satan.
yes, that is our blessing.
the church of drinking.
They don't call us Whiskeypalians for nothin'!
Oddly enough even for an inveterate General Convention watcher such as myself, it was all sort of boring and sad.
I, too, am a inveterate General Convention watcher (I attended wearing nothing but face paint and a thong) and I have to say it was the most exciting General Convention since the 2000 Denver General Convention where they voted to add Liturgy and Music to the list standing commissions.
Did you bend over like your avatar? WOO HOO!
So a convention of Episcopalians isn't sexy enough for her? Next year, try AVN sweetheart.
CPAC!
Looks like she is pining for a return to fertility rites, Episcopalianism needz moar phallic idols and temple prostitutes! And damn, you know, that would probably work, it would fill them pews and they'd have to start adding Friday and Saturday night masses, like the Cat'lics.
Rock it the way they did at Stonehenge!
Worshipping Baal! Song of Solomon shit going down right there!
So, she's glad her mother is dead, because there's a ghey Episcopalian whats-it in New Hampshire? That's kind of weird.
Christian morality, having undergone 2000 years of evolution, it gets … well… it's complicated.
Better dead than abed?
So, only baby rapers should be ordained, because they're "celibate". As I've said before, I'm Catholic, and even I don't want some guy who has no family or plans to have (legal) sex giving me advice about my family…or my daughter's reproductive rights. Thanks all the same.
Hey, Pope-guy: You no playa da game, you no maka da rules. Capice?
You might want to try something a little more Waffen-SS flavoured with this dude.
Nothing personal (really) but no one yet has ever given me an adequate explanation for remaining committed to an organization that condones and hides child rape.
I am not committed to the organization, I'm committed to my faith. It's sort of like how people remain Democrats even when they stop acting like Democrats. It would be like asking me to turn conservative because John Edwards is a heartless asshole.
I appreciate the response, but I'm not clear on the reasoning. To advance your analogy, If John Edwards was the only leader of the Democratic party (not that he's anywhere near a leader now), that would be one thing, i.e. you wouldn't have a choice. However, there are lots of other organizations and people with the same affiliation who are ethical and moral, so there are options, just like there are in deciding what branch of Christianity best represents the teachings and example of its originator and central icon. I doubt Jesus would've been too impressed with the fabulous wealth of the church, not to mention the decades of covering up child molestation.
"For all we know every other aspect of ‘sexuality’ is purely the result of human socialization." Fuck yeah!
This is so telling. "Human socialization" is not a diminished condition, it's the ESSENSE OF HUMAN EXISTENCE. What the fuck is wrong with these people?
Not enough fucking?
Good guess, but that just means they are socialized enough.
No shit. Or not enough GOOD fucking, anyway. This woman probably lies there stiff as a board under her man, thinking about god and country. And then reads Fox Magazine for tips on how to "spice up" her boring, bland, torment of a marriage. While her husband secretly wanks over Victoria's Secret catalogues and wishes his life were not a living hell.
If nonprocreative aspects of sex are the result of "Human socialization", then sex for any reason but babymaking is socialism.
Whaddya say to that, smartypants?
Orgasms are the opiate of the masses.
Orgasms for everyone, then, I'm buying!
Well then, workers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains — unless you're into that sorta thing.
She probably says "Amen." Seriously. People like this woman have never felt that exquisite joy of the flesh that comes from being around someone who rouses your heart and your animal passions. The taste, the sight, the smell and feel of one's lover is enough to set most people's hearts a-beating and quicken the flow of their juices. But this dreadful termagant, like Blake's rose-eating worm, is on watch for any sign of such delight in herself or any other, that she may root out such sin before it begins.
She and her kind would reduce us to living in a joyless world. Arguing the human need of joy with such a joyless creature is worse than useless.
The type of person who gets angry at the thought that there are other human beings who are getting some enjoyment out of life. They think everyone should feel as miserable as they feel.
So what would you have if you removed all the "human socialization" aspects from human sexuality? Vulcans, maybe? And what chance would faith have with that group?
socialization and a whore diamond or two. She just misses the good old days where any repulsive man could hit a woman over the head with a stick and drag her to his cave….ya know, the traditional conservative way of getting married? Of course wingnuts should be used to having lots of gays running the processions given all the extreme homophobia or their favorite pastors
The only EpiscoPalin who should not be buried in a biblical snowdrift is Michael.
the one aspect of sex that is relevant to the survival of the human species, namely, human reproduction
Really? Because, speaking strictly for myself, having an orgasm on a regular basis is relevant to my survival. But that would be the difference between liberals and conservatives…
Plus, orgasms keep the prostate healthy.
I think I need a note from my doctor…
GAH. Everyone beat me to every comment today. READ FIRST, then comment, Annie.
true…you can pretty much judge how long wingnut women go without sex given the relevant shrewish levels. Of course single women and divorced women tend to be overwhelmingly liberal so the old "there's no sex after marraige" axiom comes in to play….which really explains some demographics now that I think about it…
The Episcopelicans, the frozen few.
As opposed to Presbyterians, the frozen chosen
The beloved Elect, a gross of thousands who's knickers are on so tight they will never poop again for eternity.
The Psychedelic Furs, Zardoz, epistemic closure? What kind of demented denomination is this?
Not doing it, Weej. Not this time, dood.
That's not Mrs. Weejee's blog, is it?
Why do New Hampshire homosexuals get their own bishop? It's discrimination, I tells ya!
If bishops aren't supposed to be gay, why are they shaped like butt plugs?
Do they beep when they back-up?
If they're in K-Lo's ass they do.
Also, your comment coupled with the sexxxy-azz photo up top made me think of this: "Antoine, quit playin'!"
And they can't go straight.
Annnd…checkmate!
Welp, that’s it, if the Episcopalians want to really pack ‘em in the pews, they’ve got to go in for prego porn
Small chance of that. Those Catholic Lights are so boring that they don't even like kneeling.
Fucking High Church, baby, we kneel, incense and the Virgin Mary, too!
And the *really mean* moms would make their kids kneel on beans. So, torture, also.
If I visit your town, I want to come visit your church!
I would like to order three pairs of those underwear….but only if that guy is part of the deal.
And Black Bishops need to be more like Rabbis.
Oh! (clutches pearls)
I thought you said "Rabbits."
See, there's the problem with gay marriage; once they get married, just like straights the sex becomes "all sort of boring and sad".
Well that does explain why single people vote D and married people vote R….kinda proves the theory that the greatest fear fundies have is someone else is enjoying life…sexless marraiges, Snidley Whiplash levels of greedy moustache twirling, fundamentalist religion and secret gay sex cabals= the GOP base. Social science, eat your hearts out
Any time you restrict yourself to a monogamous relationship, the sex becomes at least a little bit "boring and sad." Don't make no never mind if you're straight or gay.
Gay men tend to be more sexually adventurous, so they're more likely to experiment with things which keep the sex life going — like open relationships and role-play and casual add-ins. Lesbians tend to be more monogamous, so "bed death" is totally a thing in the lesbian community. You can't fuck the same person every day for the rest of your life without some level of boring.
But that's no excuse to deny gay couples the hundreds of benefits that straight people get from the marriage thingy.
I've been gay-married for over ten yrs now. Okay, it's not legal here in VA and probably never will be (thank you Marshall-Newman Amendment!). Early on, we had an open relationship followed by brief period of being monotonous…I mean, monogamous. Then I went through 5 years of not have any libido whatsoever. None. No interest in sex whatsoever. I still don't know why because my partner is one of the cutest fellas evah. So hubs & I agreed that he could go out & play as long it was safely. Then…bam! When I hit my mid-30s, my libido came back with a vengeance. Our sexing has not yet become boring and sad even though he had surgery for prostate cancer last year & can't "perform" like he used to…yet.
But, y'know, it's really about more than just rubbin' parts together and gettin' off.
Now that I've over-shared, I will end this comment.
It *is* a lot more than just gettin' off. For instance, my partner and I spend a whole lot of time LOFAO with each other because we share a sense of humour (neither of us has ever connected like that before, since we both have a pretty weird sense of humour). But some people are monogamous by nature, and some are not, and most therapists believe that there are a few (very few) things that are non-negotiable issues in a relationship, and monogamy is one of them.
For some reason, I, the non-monogamous, have a *real thing* about falling in love with monogamous types who are *very* jealous. Someday I'll figure it out. But, yeah, it's been an interesting half century as a result.
So the guy in the pic is gay?
I'm not sure, but he has a VERY LARGE cross.
(faints)
Oh. You said "cross."
I fuckin' HOPE so.
"[T]here was no reference in any of the Bishop’s comments to the one aspect of sex that is relevant to the survival of the human species, namely, human reproduction."
Um, not to piss on breeders, since I am one, but hot, unreproductive sex for the sake of sex is utterly crucial to the survival of the human species. Indeed, it might be the only reason that I am able to stave off the homicidal rages that accompany my life as a commuter.
and we all thank you!
Yes but it ruins the hot fantasy of a buttoned down normal woman going Angelina Jolie in Salt on some redneck douche driving a giant fuck you mobile on the interstate…so I'm torn about whether or not that's a good thing
The Episcopalians need to get back to the basics of the Anglican Church and ask the fundamental question. Cake or death?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNjcuZ-LiSY
And here I thought the basics of the Anglican Church was allowing the King to divorce when he got tired of his wife.
Ambrosia Salad death!
Death by Chocolate cake.
Perfect marriage of cake and death.
the very best.
i ran a marathon a few years back. first two hours were entirely devoted to 'dressed to kill'. it worked.
Hot gay married Episcopalian sex is the new Zionism.
Do they still use the Jethro Tull Aqualung Hymnal?
That's explains the breath that smells of locomotive
Needz moar Tintin photoshop
http://www.sadlyno.com/wordpress/uploads/2009/06/…
or maybe not………
I miss HTML Mencken, myself.
… Episcopalians want to really pack ‘em in the pews …
Heh.
Sorry K.Lo, even if they weren't gay, they still wouldn't fuck you.
She has to go someplace where they have cow-tipping if she wants to do the sex thing, followed by crying bitter and copious tears.
Thanks for the image of a crying K-Lo….or any image of K-Lo for that matter. Yeah, K-Lo couldn't get a guy wearing beer goggles who just got out of the joint after a 20 year stint whom she was the first woman he saw while he was also a pervert par excellance to fuck her…the woman is pure erection repellant.
That's the thing that fascinates me about the anti-gay crowd. It's always about sex, and they won't or can't even acknowledge that the relationships of same-sex couples have *gasp* more to them than just sex! Accepting that fact would mean accepting that gays aren't mentally ill, depraved deviants, I suppose.
Still, it's funny that we leftists are supposed to be the ones obsessed with sex.
I live in West Hollywood. And I'm confident gay guys aren't as obsessed with sex (especially the ghey variety – the hot, ever so terrifyingly, temptingly hot ghey variety) as that crowd.
I can tell you for a fact that these motherfuckers think WAY MORE about gay sex than most gay sex-having gay people.
yeah I think these closet cases spend more time thinking about gay sex than trisexuals think about fucking everything…even more time than farmer Bill thinks about fucking his daughter and tractor. They think about it even more than Chris Christy thinks about food….okay, the last one was hyperbole; quantum physics can't even measure how often that guy thinks about food.
I guess when you're actually *doing* it, you don't have time to *think* about it (which would explain why we all end up in some fucking disastrous relationships, periodically). It would also lend support to the theory that these mofos are majorly closeted closet cases.
Eh…popular science fielded that one: either they are A) the products of an extreme authoritarian family who's father gave them an intense loathing of perceived promiscuity (which gay guys embody) or B) they secretly love the cock and want to punish gay men for being open about it…not to mention the home-erotic nature of the way they punish gay men and focus on their acts while doing it (Hannity devoted an ENTIRE page in "Let Fweedumz Wing" about fisting fer crissakes) projection is strong with these freaks. Personally I think the ones who focus on sex are 9 out 10 chances to be B…I can go for years without thinking about gay guys getting it on and these freaks cannot go 10 minutes without it. Not to mention that religiously bent red states consume the most porn to boot.
At this rate, sometime in the next century Anglicans may even discover the clitoris.
Oh, we keep that right next to the surplice and the chalice.
And when they do, they'll perform an exorcism upon it.
Hey, raised Episcopalian, now anagnostic (doesn't really make a difference in our church) cause I'm lazy. We're totally sexy. And we've been gay positive for quite awhile….
cept for those weird fundie parts who want to secede to angola.
(lazy pretty much DEFINES us btw. still! fun to be most easy, least baggage heavy faith).
Yeah, but they're to us modern Episcopalians what "low church" was to everyone in England back in Jane Austen's time.
Seek emergency medical attention if your Episcopalian erection lasts longer than 4 minutes.
And you thought "Secular Humanist" was unsexy…
This isn't sexy? http://media.web.britannica.com/eb-media/77/84477…
Uh, I see your point.
Secular Humanist Tentacle Porn
Also: Thunderbird thinks this message is a scam. Are you sure you want to visit <a href="http://www.wonkette.com?” target=”_blank”>www.wonkette.com?
Big fat daddy got whoppin' thighs.
More photos from Eddie Long's cellphone? http://sandrarose.com/2010/09/bishop-eddie-long-a…
There are no gods. Please, can we get this over with? I'll give these gods a week to show themselves. If they don't, all religious thought will be made illegal. Then the Little Romney boy can get loaded.
I fairly positive God is dead. With my W-kette comments this week, by rights I should have been struck down with at least one lightning bolt, if not many. Though, with our region's tinder-dry conditions, the great one might be showing discretion for fear of collateral damage. Only time will tell!
"Piscalopans" are just what we call "High Baptists". Nothing to see here, move along.
yeah??? well baptists are what episcopalians call 'low methodists'.
…and worse, much worse!
Methodists speak to you like a board meering.
Baptists speak to you like SLUTS!!!!
…and you DESERVE IT! You know you do!
Episcopalians are basically Catholics without all of the social and cultural hold-ups, right?
"All the pagentry, none of the guilt" – Robin Williams (from "Top Ten Reasons to Be an Episcopalian" – worth looking up)
Yes, those lucky dogs…and the Eastern Orthodox christians make the Catholic seem like milquetoast, but fortunately there are no nuns.
Except the drinking, recriminations, and emotional repression. We got extra helpings of those.
They don't just think that joy isn't an essential part of the human condition, but seem to be wary of it to the point of saying that it's a dangerous part of the human condition or denying it all together.
And they call themselves "pro-life"! How anti-life is THAT? A basic course in biology would teach them that ALL life inclines towards what is good and comfortable and enjoyable, and away from that which is not.
I'm guessing Charlotte Hays mother is glad she's not alive too, what, with this obnoxious twat as a daughter.
I give thanks to the Wonkette Powers That Be for the pic accompanying this post.
Ahhh. Men.
ZOMG, really? Oh, wait, we don't HAVE thunderstorms.
Never mind.
Yeah, but we can grow tomatoes, so there too!Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
Splitters!
Now that you mention it, my 9th grade World Religions class did have a unit on Hinduism (and as an example of how forward thinking for its day the class was, they didn't even call it "Miscellaneous"), but as I recall there wasn't word one about any schisming on their part.
The BUCK Rogers Wireless Network? Cool!
(sad face … big tears leaking from eyes) You … you … you really hurt my widdle fee-fees with that remark viennawoods. You know what it's like when a man can't even grow decent tomatoes. (Sobs loudly into handkerchief)
How cool! I grew up in a country with lots of different religions, so in the interests of comity, we weren't permitted to discuss religion at all on school grounds. Unless we went to religious schools, of course.
Buddhism, Sikkhism, and Jainism began as attempts to reform Hinduism. And although Hinduism holds that each person finds their own way to the divine, you have to wonder at a religion that simultaneously embraces almost militant vegetarianism and ahimsa along with tantric sex and blood sacrifice. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I'm so sorry, Mittborg! I know how sensitive a man can be about tomatoes. If it makes you feel any better, along with the great, luscious tomatoes I have to endure this fucking humid heat and all those low-pressure systems that bring all the thunderstorms. Don't get me wrong, I love a good lightning show, but not the migraine that comes with it. (Deep breath. Botox appointment in 2 weeks. relief on the way)
I was just funnin' ya. I have a Cherokee Purple the size of my fist, and about a dozen Japanese Black Trifeles that I call "big bags of tomato juice," and unbelievable clusters of Glaciers, SF Fogs, and Early Clear Pinks ( a beautiful Russian heirloom variety).
I have THIRTY tomato plants! And they're all taller than me. Heirloom vines. What kind are you growing?
Sorry about the migraines, vienna. I used to have them but they went away after I decided my mother was insane and I didn't have to be around her (funny, that).
So … that little goatee on your chin … NO, NO, I CAN't GO OOOOONNNNN!!!
Okay, now I'm jealous. I went through my start-from-seed heirloom variety phase, but this year it was get the 30 plants from the garden centre into the ground time. I do have some nice Brandywines, and in my pots on the deck I have my all-time favorite, Matt's wild cherry, which can grow to cover an entire bed if allowed, but is more restrained when in a pot. I also grow a Black Cherry on the deck, all for munching rather than harvesting. The ones in the garden are destined for salsa,paste, and drying. They are just starting to ripen now.
Why for are you jealous? Yours grow without blood sacrifice and small children. I have to bury TWO infants in each barrel to get these bastards to grow. The Black Cherry sounds WUNNERFUL. I will see if I can find 'em. I tried Brandywines a couple years ago, but they LIKE heat, so they didn't really produce for me. I think I might have gotten a couple of fruit off a plant. Matt's Wild Cherry is wunnerful, too. I got San Marzanos for paste, but they've been somewhat pauciflorous. Still, I'll get a few yet!
Tomatoes. I swear, they are the gateway drug to gardening. I'm having visions of an asparagus bed on one side and yellow raspberries on the other, now.
"There's only two things that money can't buy & that's true love & home grown tomatoes": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-QzLIjL1u4
I've got a nice big asparagus patch out back, maybe 50 plants. We gorge on it for 10 weeks a year. I love it tossed with olive oil and a bit of salt, then roasted 10 mins. Oh my.
Hey, thanks, va_real, that was truly delightful!
I'll savour a slice of tomato in his honour when I pick that Cherokee purple.
He also did a song called Virginia's Real which was too long to be my user name, alas…
Heheeee, Hindus. I met a guy at a party once who said he was "converting" to Hinduism, and when I told him that Hindus don't have a church structure or any "conversion" process (let alone one universal "Hinduism") he turned red and pretended I hadn't just blown his "I'm so open-minded, please sleep with me" schtick.
Thanks for introducing me to something new, musically. I'm always delighted by such finds!
Twins from one egg, Fare! You cruel, cruel thing, you wouldn't even let him lick your bits, huh?
I love those "converted" Hindus who come up to li'l ol' Furrin' me and introduce themselves by perverting fine Sanskrit names into something unrecognizable. I especially enjoy pretending I didn't understand the name and mangling it into something unrecognizable.
Oh, my is right. I would totally admire to have me some sparrow-grass. Totally. And that is my favourite way of cooking them. If you eat fish, marinate a steak of your favorite fish in anything tasty/spicy and add the asparagus during the last 10 minutes of roasting for a heavenly combo.
Comments on this entry are closed.