Fox News ‘Magazine’: Your Relationship Needs Plagiarized Children’s Articles That Will Make Your Husband Beat You

  sexy bathroom pranks

Journamalist!We have a sad. The kids at Fark noticed that the guys at Cracked noticed that there is some dumb floozy who is the new Fox News Magazine’s “style and beauty editor,” and not only is she a dumb floozy who thinks playing “pranks” on your husband will spice up your relationship (pranks like making him think you set up a webcam to watch him take a dump? SAD FACE), but also she plagiarized the whole thing from some children’s website.

Why are we sad? Because this dumb floozy has a journalism job, while so many of you are forced to slave in the Wonkville story mines, where we charge you for AIR!

Here are just a few of the pranks Amber Milt stole from a children’s website to get her husband to bone her:

Others include, well, all of the things below, in this excerpt from Cracked!

While I’m on the subject of Amber Milt’s tragic shittiness, I Googled “poking a gummy worm into an apple.” To me, the entire idea seemed to violate physics as we know them. I found this article: “7 Kid Pranks to Play on Random Victims.” It has the exact same prank, and as you can imagine, the trick is to cut a hole in the apple first. That seems like a weird step to leave out from the woman who earlier gave us the tip on how it’s easier to read objects when they exist in our field of vision.

Funny enough, the article that Amber also clearly Googled included other fun pranks like GLUING A COIN TO THE FLOOR, PUTTING TAPE OVER APPLIANCES TO RENDER THEM USELESS and DROPPING FOOD COLORING INTO DRINKS. So let me make this as clear as I can:

FoxNews.com’s style and beauty editor Amber Milt found an article for children, stole it, and presented it to Fox News readers as erotic material.

And there you have it. Do head over and see Amber’s handiwork before it’s yanked. The comments are a peach!

[Cracked, via Fark]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf