OOPSIE  9:59 am July 12, 2012

Yeah Rick Perry Will Spend $25 Million Renovating Governor’s Mansion, Wanna Make Something Of It?

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Shoulda asked Nancy Reagan to pick out new chinaWhat up, Tejas? Oh, your health care system is the worst in the country, you rank 51st in the attainment of high school diplomas, and Rick Perry has just chopped $8 billion from education and Medicaid? (You know, in addition to turning down that free Medicaid from the feds, because federal money has syphilis?) Well, that’s just because Texas has priorities. Priorities like “screw things what are good for citizens; Rick Perry’s mansion’s too old!” Well not anymore it ain’t, now there is a spanking new $25 million renovation to the Governor’s Mansion with all the “old-growth” and “longleaf pine” Rick Perry’s simple heart could desire!

For their $21.5 million, plus $3.5 million in public donations, taxpayers got inch-thick longleaf pine floors, an added wing and a geothermal heating-and-cooling system that required digging 40 350-foot (107-meter) wells. The cost of restoring the 25-room house would be enough to pay for almost 11 million student lunches at Austin’s high schools. [...]

The cost also covered tracking down and buying old-growth Bastrop pine to restore the six 29-foot columns adorning the front of the Greek Revival-style house, said Dealey Herndon, the project manager. Workers stripped layers of lead paint from the white brick exterior and replaced the burned roof.

“I had to question every day whether this was a good use of the money,” Herndon said. “The cost of this is very high. Everything that wasn’t original architecture had to go out — the kitchen equipment, the cabinets, the bathroom tile.”

Hey man, you don’t want Rick Perry to have to live on the cheap, do you? Just think what that would do to Texas’s reputation.

[Bloomberg, via HuffPo]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 120 comments }

actor212 July 12, 2012 at 10:02 am

In fairness, he's probably just raping the education budget for the money, not the oil subsidies…

Barb July 12, 2012 at 10:03 am

It is pretty sad when Rick Perry makes George W. Bush look like the smart Governor of Texas.

tihond July 12, 2012 at 10:07 am

To be fair, 5 million was to get the smell of Bush out of the mansion.

Barb July 12, 2012 at 10:08 am

Good one, Tihond!
No one likes a smelly bush.

PubOption July 12, 2012 at 11:46 am

According to Hugo Chavez, Bush smelled of Sulfur.

NYNYNYjr July 12, 2012 at 1:53 pm

I dont think thats happened yet.

CrunchyKnee July 12, 2012 at 10:04 am

I can haz new cardboard box to live in?

Vecchiojohn July 12, 2012 at 10:12 am

Quit bitching, you lazy lie-about. Texas has plenty of bridge underpasses with nice landscaping so we don't have to see the people who live there.

GunToting[Redacted] July 12, 2012 at 10:49 am

Yeah, but don't you have to share them with the bats?

RadioSlut July 12, 2012 at 10:26 am

And do you want cake with that too? Get a job, whiner!

spends2much July 12, 2012 at 10:05 am

I think the average Poor with a sick, illiterate kid would totally get behind this.

actor212 July 12, 2012 at 10:05 am

“longleaf pine”

I call bullshit. Pines have needles, not leaves. This is clearly made up shit for "a stash of 'square grouper' found off South Padre Island"

Estproph July 12, 2012 at 10:08 am
actor212 July 12, 2012 at 10:12 am

Say, you must be one them "scientitians" they keep warning us about…

prommie July 12, 2012 at 10:31 am

Back when square grouper used to wash up with some regularity down in Vero Beach, we used to call the scavenged product, which was frequently to be found for sale after a second drying process, "sea weed."

thatsitfortheother1 July 12, 2012 at 10:32 am

Only in Texas would they refer to them as leaves.

chascates July 12, 2012 at 10:05 am

This is the second time in almost 30 years that the mansion has had a major renovation. Before a friend of mine entered the Texas Department of Public Safety he was a Capitol Police guard at the mansion while it was unoccupied during the first renovation. He gave me a tour of the place and I had the pleasure of urinating all the floor of what was the governor's bedroom.

Texan_Bulldog July 12, 2012 at 10:17 am

Last time it got renovated, someone tried to burn it to the ground (then we paid hundreds of thousands for Rick to live in some fancy digs on the lake instead of a trailer like Mike Huckabee). Hmmm…where were you on that night in question, chascates?

chascates July 12, 2012 at 11:14 am

No, no! This was back around 1982 or so. Shortly before the Capitol caught on fire. And I was working at night at UT then; I have witnesses.

MacRaith July 12, 2012 at 10:05 am

11 million school lunches? Bah humbug. Let them eat long-leaf pine.

kittensdontlie July 12, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Why are those children in school anyway?! They should have hammers in hand getting that project done pronto!

Goonemeritus July 12, 2012 at 10:06 am

If you are going to spend your life in the closet it might as well be a fabulous closet.

Barb July 12, 2012 at 10:06 am

Rick Perry's father-in-law did his vasectomy for him on the cheap. Couldn't he do the work on the mansion too?

actor212 July 12, 2012 at 10:17 am

I don't think they're touching the plumbing.

Terry July 12, 2012 at 10:08 am

Wait, wait, wait. They just renovated the frickin' place in 2009. There was a fire in 2008 and it was redone the next year.

What the heck has Perry done to the place that it needs to be renovated AGAIN three years later?

FakaktaSouth July 12, 2012 at 10:21 am

That was my first thought too – wasn't he running around shooting coyotes behind the rental house he was staying in the LAST TIME they were doing this to the mansion? He must throw hella good parties that require the fucking floors be replaced every two years. Him and all them dogs, just pissing all over the place marking territory and shooting things.

OurDailyBread July 12, 2012 at 10:27 am

Too bad more of America's dogs can't shoot things.

Terry July 12, 2012 at 10:27 am

…and what's Perry doing putting in a hippie geothermal heating system? Shouldn't the Tx Governor's Mansion be heated with genuine West Texas crude? Think about the jobs!1!!!

Texan_Bulldog July 12, 2012 at 10:29 am

Or with the blood of Messicans?

PubOption July 12, 2012 at 11:48 am

That 's as bad as the commie solar panels that Carter installed on the White House, and St. Ronnie removed.

actor212 July 12, 2012 at 10:24 am

Well, let's just say that old saying "All hat, no cattle" was sort of reversed. Kinda.

fartknocker July 12, 2012 at 10:41 am

Since the fire, Rick and Anita have been living in a gorgeous 5,000 square foot rental in Westlake Hills, along with his security contingent. The State has been paying the property owner a rental rate of $9,900/month – for five years. The property owner is known contributor to Rick's campaign.

They have been living in this rental because the Perrys have been screwing with this project. Anita asked for an expansion because she's always thought the mansion was too small. When changes to historical structures like this occur, the State Preservation Board has to go back to the Legislature for more appropriations. Given that the Texas legislature meets on a bi-annual basis, this move has worked out really well for Rick and his rental house owner.

And this is why Rick Perry is a goat fucker.

thatsitfortheother1 July 12, 2012 at 10:47 am

The other reason is that thing he does to the goats.

PubOption July 12, 2012 at 11:50 am

And the money goes round and round and it comes out somewhere convenient for Rick.

Millennial Malaise July 12, 2012 at 11:31 am

Something something my best friends own construction companies

spends2much July 12, 2012 at 10:08 am

Renovating mansions…it's in the Constitution, son!!

qwerty42 July 12, 2012 at 10:09 am

Geeze, you couldn't make this stuff up. (OTOH, pine heartwood does look beautiful)

Not_So_Much July 12, 2012 at 10:09 am

A lot of it is probably just kickbacks to cover that huge oxycodone bill.

Estproph July 12, 2012 at 10:10 am

The cost of restoring the 25-room house would be enough to pay for almost 11 million student lunches at Austin’s high schools.

To be fair, Texas doesn't have many tuberculosis hospitals.

actor212 July 12, 2012 at 10:11 am

And then there's the obesity problem.

No, better to spend it on a "longleaf pine" desk than food for poor kids.

Maman July 12, 2012 at 10:12 am

Not anymore.

Dashboard Buddha July 12, 2012 at 10:27 am

On the other than, you can't throw a rock in the Dallas/Fort Worth area without hitting a dialysis center. I noticed this when I visited TX back in October. They have more centers than my town has Bank of America offices.

OneYieldRegular July 12, 2012 at 10:10 am

And just look at the result: if you turned down the lighting, photographed that hall in B&W and put Jonathan Frid on the stairs, you'd have the crappy set of the original "Dark Shadows."

mwittier July 13, 2012 at 6:05 am

You'd have to add some random boom mike shadows, wobbling walls, a drunken, animatronic Joan Bennett gazing out windows while waiting to haltingly grumble her next line, and a completely stoned Grayson Hall staring at the ceiling like a cat watching a moth, while she tries to recall if she's Julia or Magda in this scene, and where it all went wrong after Night of the Iguana.
But you could probably get all that and David Selby for twenty five million.

Baconzgood July 12, 2012 at 10:11 am

Some animals are more equal than others

-fucking pig-

FakaktaSouth July 12, 2012 at 10:12 am

Bastrop pine is very beautiful, very strong, very important. Perhaps those 11million hungry kids could all take turns gnawing on that – it would also take care of the need for any pesky dental work them rug-rats seem to have. Stupid kids, always with the needing to eat and have teeth. We'll learn em.

prommie July 12, 2012 at 10:33 am

Old growth pine! Yummmmm, woodworkers love wide boards! The only thing they seem to do with the good stuff these days is build stairs with it. When I needed some good quality pine for the sea bright skiff I built I had to use stair boards.

FakaktaSouth July 12, 2012 at 10:39 am

Weeelll, apparently Long leaf pine is Alabama's state tree – I did just learn that here on the wonks – I don't know what a sea bright skiff is, but I bet using the stair boards to build it made getting up to the second floor a pain in the ass. Sliding down a railing is one thing, scooting back up it is a drag.

prommie July 12, 2012 at 10:49 am

This here is a sea bright skiff: http://newjersey.craigslist.org/boa/3036161283.ht
When I was just a young prommie, these boats were used by the lifeguards on the ocean beaches. When they weren't using them they would turn them upside down on the beach and I would crawl underneath the upside down boat and have my own little fort. When I grew up, I built one, I hunted down the 80 year old man who used to build them decades before, he sold me his patterns and plans and told me what to do.

FakaktaSouth July 12, 2012 at 10:54 am

I am afraid of clicking on craigslist, I am afraid it will automatically make me an online prostitute. (I do need to get a job, but I don't wanna also get murdered, dead whore pay seems shitty) But I will risk it for the knowledge.

Please tell me you still flip the one you built over on the beach to play in like a fort also. That would make my day.

Dashboard Buddha July 12, 2012 at 10:14 am

When they have the open house banquet, Carrier Pigeon and Roast Yeti will be featured on the menu.

SorosBot July 12, 2012 at 10:15 am

"The cost of restoring the 25-room house would be enough to pay for almost 11 million student lunches at Austin’s high schools"

Wait, they're spending $2.27 on student lunches? Why is Texas spoiling those lucky ducky kids? They should just shove a bowl of Ramen at them.

actor212 July 12, 2012 at 10:17 am

Ramen's more expensive. Remember, this is *Texas* we're talking about. Slop's too good for the little shits.

Jus_Wonderin July 12, 2012 at 10:22 am

Ramen will turn them all terroristy.

Doktor Zoom July 12, 2012 at 10:17 am

Well, at least no one can say that Gov. Goodhair is unclear about announcing his priorities.

Barb July 12, 2012 at 10:19 am

How much did it cost for Rick's "Niggerhead" rock to be relocated to the mansion?

actor212 July 12, 2012 at 10:24 am

Couple good ol' boys with a truck, so a six pack.

Of course, it will appear on a bill for a million.

Chet Kincaid July 12, 2012 at 10:26 am

Some speculate that it was stolen by Skull & Bones, and now resides in their Yale crypt, next to Geronimo's skull. (Reading my comment, I can confirm that this is a rumor on the Internet!)

ManchuCandidate July 12, 2012 at 10:19 am

You liebruls and your crying about starving kids and the waste of making 1%er enabler Rick "Doofus" Perry and his family happy. They have to live in that taxpayer boondoggle! You don't.

Nobody is as important as the Gubbiner of Tejas even if all he does is get high on goofballs and can't count to 3.

Texan_Bulldog July 12, 2012 at 10:20 am

…"enough to pay for almost 11 million student lunches at Austin’s high schools." Hey, Rick is just trying to curb our obesity problem and teach kids early on the concept of 'no free lunches'.

But, yeah, I wonder if this guy is going to be governor for the rest of my life–holy cow!

HistoriCat July 12, 2012 at 10:51 am

Too stupid for higher office and too greedy to just leave – we're stuck with him unless a rent boy scandal erupts.

Spawn Paul July 12, 2012 at 10:57 am

I think he'll be just be the governor until we secede. After that he'll be king 4 life.

randcoolcatdaddy July 12, 2012 at 10:22 am

Cutting services to the poor and school lunches is the Texas way of encouraging the poorz to move to Louisiana for their public learnin'.

thatsitfortheother1 July 12, 2012 at 10:37 am

At least they'll come out of Louisiana multi-lingual.

sbj1964 July 12, 2012 at 10:22 am

Nice to see that Rick is willing to sacrafice in these hard times like the rest of the GOP.Can't wait to see him on MTV Cribs.

DerrickWildcat July 12, 2012 at 10:25 am

Those chandeliers look pretty old. I think it would look nicer with new chandeliers.

ifthethunderdontgetya July 12, 2012 at 10:25 am

Come on now, Wonketteers!

A fancy lad like Governor Goodhair needs a whorehouse to go with his image.
~

prommie July 12, 2012 at 10:50 am

A Fancy Lad? Oh my.

spareme July 12, 2012 at 10:26 am

Longleaf Pine is Alabama's State Tree and also endangered. His use of them for floors is disgusting.

RadioSlut July 12, 2012 at 10:27 am

Remember the Alamo?

Joshua Norton July 12, 2012 at 10:27 am

What a dump!

/bad Bette Davis imitation.

elburritodeluxe July 12, 2012 at 10:28 am

A leftist "geothermal heating -and- cooling system"?

Beloved Saint Ronald Wilson Reagan is spinning in his grave over that politically-correct, liberal bullshit! The only way a true conservative heats HIS home is with American coal!

Joshua Norton July 12, 2012 at 10:36 am

The Sacramento Governor's Mansion looks the same way and Nancy refused to live in something so "old and run-down". They lived in a tacky, fake English Tudor pre-fab number while he was Governor.

Joshua Norton July 12, 2012 at 10:30 am

Who are they kidding. You can find all that crap on eBay for 1/10th the price.

thatsitfortheother1 July 12, 2012 at 10:30 am

Place looks like a high class bordello.

Or so I've heard.

elviouslyqueer July 12, 2012 at 10:30 am

That staircase isn't nearly wide enough to accommodate Rick's hoop skirts. Hell, it's barely wide enough to handle his portieres.

FakaktaSouth July 12, 2012 at 10:35 am

That may be my most favorite 9 minutes of tv ever – and has been a part of all my thoughts on ball gowns for my whole life. It may be a cool dress, but if there isn't a curtain rod in it, well, it's not REALLY fancy enough, is it?

Jus_Wonderin July 12, 2012 at 10:50 am

LOL. I agree with FS. I howled when I first saw that. I will never forget it.

fawkedifiknow July 12, 2012 at 10:32 am

If you think a state that would elect Governors like the last two even gives a shit about things like this, you got another think coming.

Guppy July 12, 2012 at 10:33 am

Everything that wasn’t original architecture had to go out

If that includes the air conditioning, requiring Government Hair Helmet to live in the place in August while denying climate change, it will be worth every penny.

gurukalehuru July 12, 2012 at 10:34 am

Rick Perry, you are no Jackie Kennedy.

thatsitfortheother1 July 12, 2012 at 10:44 am

Depends on who you ask.

Biff July 12, 2012 at 10:36 am

Oops.

mavenmaven July 12, 2012 at 10:41 am

"There are three important renovations we need to do in the mansion: the kitchen, the bedroom, and… I'm sorry, I can't recall the third…"

kittensdontlie July 12, 2012 at 3:38 pm

11 million children will go hungry…Ooops.

OneDollarJuana July 12, 2012 at 10:42 am

I just read an article about how little Tejas towns are all worried about criminals because tax receipts are so low that they've had to choose between keeping city water flowing or employing cops, so the police departments are history. I almost had a sad, but then I remembered that it's those same goddam little towns that keep voting in stupid-ass sociopathic right-wing politicians, so I guess you reap what you sow. Sucks to be you, Texas!

Tommy1733 July 12, 2012 at 10:57 am

An excellent point – I have a similar condition here in Indiana.

GunToting[Redacted] July 12, 2012 at 10:58 am

Sorta like the city workers in Scranton getting paid minimum wage because the teahadists cut everything and refuse to raise taxes. Or the fires in Colorado. Or any of several thousand examples. Lotta noseless faces out there.

anniegetyerfun July 12, 2012 at 10:48 am

Have Texans stopped paying attention to anything Perry does? I feel like if anyone realized that he was still around, AND in charge of the state, someone would have shot him by now.

RadioSlut July 12, 2012 at 10:49 am

I wonder how much that new McNaughton painting cost.

poorgradstudent July 12, 2012 at 10:56 am

And I thought we'd have to wait until Texas seceded before it became a banana republic…

prommie July 12, 2012 at 10:56 am

Hey now I am seeing this interesting advertisement up here on the new Wonkette for a service that will find me a "Mutually Benefical Arrangement." It says I can choose between a college girl or a single mom! Damn, I must look into this. An arrangement that is actually "mutually beneficial" sure would be an improvement over the status quo!

RadioSlut July 12, 2012 at 11:28 am

Free Love isn't Free!

One_who_wanders July 12, 2012 at 10:58 am

Wow. Someone's ad targeting sucks. A sugar daddy ad on Wonkette? http://mutuallybeneficial.net/being-a-sugar-daddy

Chet Kincaid July 12, 2012 at 11:08 am

I know! I OT'd about that in the Jesse Jr. thread, but the caravan had moved on. Who can afford to stash some would-be Kardashian in a love shack and pay for her kids' iPhones? And Wonkette ladies have much higher self-esteem than that shit. Bent over naked women in banners can cause certain difficulties when surfing at work, also.

MacRaith July 12, 2012 at 11:14 am

Definitely. A sugar daddy ad belongs in a post about Herman Cain, not Rick Perry.

prommie July 12, 2012 at 11:21 am

Well now, the boys do need money for rent, same as those college girls and single moms.

Spawn Paul July 12, 2012 at 11:00 am

But what you guys aren't taking into consideration is the fact that after Texas secedes that 'ol dump is going to have to serve as King Perry's castle. Thrones, drawbridges, moats and dungeons ain't cheap y'all.

mrblifil July 12, 2012 at 11:17 am

These rape rooms aren't going to build themselves you know!

DonnyKerabotsos July 12, 2012 at 11:19 am

According to the Wiki–

"During May 2009, $22 million was allocated to the restoration of the Governor's Mansion, $11 million of which came from the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009…"

That's right. Socialist Texas is evidently using socialist stimulus money to spruce up Rick Perry's digs.

Well he's got brass fucking balls, I'll give him that.

ElPinche July 12, 2012 at 11:20 am

Considering Texas has the worse healthcare coverage in the US, you'd think he'd cut some corners. Maybe get double-wide by Lake Travis ? Oh gov gov, I hate you so.

johnnymeatworth July 12, 2012 at 11:25 am

Shit, at least Nero could fucking do something while Rome burned. The best Perry can manage is redecorating.

DemmeFatale July 12, 2012 at 11:28 am

Let them eat cake.

Generation[redacted] July 12, 2012 at 11:45 am

The nails ladies don't get how this works.

Billmatic July 12, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Don't worry about that Bastrop pine, I really don't think they're gonna find any that isn't blackened, or growing for that matter.

Nostrildamus July 12, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Workers stripped layers of lead paint …

That explains both Perry and W.

thefrontpage July 12, 2012 at 1:02 pm

This wasteful piece-of-crap "governor's mansion" should be torn down, demolished completely, and affordable public housing should be built on the spot-with rents no higher than $600 a month. Really. And there should be no "governor's mansions" for governors–or anyone else–in any state–again, really! Governor's can live in their own damn houses, for gawd's sake. Tear these stupid "mansions" down–and build public housing on their spots. That would be great to see!

comrad_darkness July 12, 2012 at 1:48 pm

When you are spending a bundle to make something "Authentically Texas" you really need to step back and think some more.

rickmaci July 12, 2012 at 1:57 pm

The only important renovation that place needed was fixing the front window after somebody threw Brokeback Perry through it.

kittensdontlie July 12, 2012 at 3:54 pm

He's gotta have some place for when his guy friends come over and they do guy things, so the missus cant hear all that banging around and stuff. It's only common courtesy. Don't get the wrong idea, this guy is as straight as an arrow….hee hee…

ttommyunger July 12, 2012 at 9:10 pm

A turd is still a turd, even if you keep it in a solid gold jewelry box.

larrykat July 13, 2012 at 1:30 pm

An on the street corners the old ladies were knitting, knitting…

prommie July 12, 2012 at 11:00 am

I play "fort" in the other one. Actually, more "pirate ship." Even more fun!

FakaktaSouth July 12, 2012 at 11:03 am

That is a very cute row-boat looking thing. I don't have an ocean real near-by. Can people play in those things in a lake? We got a reeeeal big one of those, attached to a river that GOES to the gulf, but no ocean.

I have learned recently that I prefer Pirate ships with heli-pads.

prommie July 12, 2012 at 11:06 am

I can build a pirogue, thats a lot easier.

FakaktaSouth July 12, 2012 at 11:08 am

Stop making me google things! That's some kind of food, yes? (I'M KIDDING sort of)

OH FOR GOD'S SAKE YOU COULD HAVE JUST SAID CANOE. Fancy always with the fancy.

prommie July 12, 2012 at 11:11 am

I guess I am a fancy-lad. And a pirogue is what you would go out in the bayou frog-gigging in, you would never use a canoe for something so horrendously cajun in nature.

FakaktaSouth July 12, 2012 at 11:14 am

Okay then I want one of those then, a boat that sounds like a sandwich or pigs in a blanket or something. I am nothing if not happily horrendously cajun at every opportunity.

prommie July 12, 2012 at 11:27 am

Now I want a muffaletta.

FakaktaSouth July 12, 2012 at 11:32 am

NOW you're talking my language. I know what that is – and where to get one right now and yep, that's goooooood…

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