What must Mitt Romney do to reach the kids? How about a filter, on the iPhone? The kids know how to game that. Then maybe… t-shirts with a photograph of a Latin American leftist revolutionary? That would be sort of leftist. Okay, let’s settle for totebags and stuff that look like Scooby Doo art. It’s all for sale in the official Mitt Romney Vintage collection!
For $20, you can be the proud owner of this “Vintage Romney 2012 Canvas Tote,” like all the Civil Rights Marchers and Feminists carried while they were fighting the cops and the patriarchy, in the 1960s.
Or how about the $35 Vintage Romney Three-Quarter Sleeve Henley, like they used to wear in Vintage times? It’s like all those competitive sport athletes in the 70s and stoners in Dazed and Confused used to wear: You got the one color on the bottom, see, but then there’s a different color on top, and then you put them together and it’s a shirt.
Maybe you’re poor, like some people were in the 60s. For only three dollars (in 2012 dollars), you can buy this photo button of Mitt Romney with his father, George, who was a politician in the 60s. He lived it!
[Mitt Romney Vintage Collection]
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Errr, not for nothing, but that eagle's wing is its *left* wing…
Raptor libel! The American eagle has no left wing!
So it just flies around in circles, all day long…
That would explain our foreign policy.
It's not flying now, but looks like it's humping that read lump thingy.
♫ Let the Eagle Hump ♫
I thought the red lump was an apple, although it looks a bit ragged at the bottom…
Ever decreasing circles, like the Oozulum bird?
Is that what that bird is? I thought it looked more like a chicken.
What is it about Romney's and weird bird art? I didn't check the prices–does the tee with the footless bird cost as much as Mrs. "I-worked-my-fingers-to-the-bone" Romney's cost?
You are the smartest one in class; well played!!!
That's very stylish, a three button Henley. How avant garde! Most Henleys only have two buttons. He wants us to show chest hair.
Just wait until you see the Romney 2012 trousers! So easy to unzip to see just how stiff you aren't!
Stiff trousers, tho.
I think its to give his thick necked supporters a little more breathing room
Posting this again, want to go and have some fun freeping a Obamacare poll? Here it is
http://www.petesessions.com/
Poll is on the right hand side. Vote early, vote often!
Oh, I love it! Pete's finding out he's on the losing side of public opinion
I'm glad Pete let each of my personalities vote!
Got it to better than 2 to 1. Your turn.
68/32 and climbing. Lather, rinse, repeat.
And to think this guy gets a vote on cybersecurity bills…
Remember, the Internets is a series of tubes not trucks per that dead Republicon douchebag Alaskan senator.
The Yes side is up 68% – 32%. USA! USA!
Gawd bless ya britty; that was the most fun I've had all day!
I noticed that every time I voted, it raised the percentages by one tenth of a percent. So, I stuck with it a while. Thanks. I thoroughly enjoyed that.
Are they selling
slavesillegals to do the laundering?Where in China were they made?
Oh, please, please, please.
By a company that used to have factories in the Carolinas, but who relocated after a take over by a Bain-like firm.
I DOES say Made in America on the description, I'll give them that much. Then again, most "Made in America" tags are probably made in China.
But not Amercia?
Mexicans are Americans too, my friend.
China is probably too expensive — I'd guess Indonesia, Macau, Haiti, the Philippines perhaps.
Is that eagle a girl eagle who is motorboating a dude in a hoodie? Because that's all I can see when I look at it.
Brilliant! That's all I can see now too.
Oh. I thought she was hugging the red ghost from Pac Man…
What the hell is that thing? Romney as a Pac-Man ghost?
Pac-Man Merlin.
I'll stick with my "don't teabag on me" T-shirt. Thanks!
Costs be dammed, I'm totally getting that tote bag for myself to hold my shrooms and will then take it with me when I totes hit Haight-Ashbury cause the logo is, like, psychedelic. That Romney must be one cool-ass dude, dudes.
Gotta have the shrooms. The Morms know you don't get visits from the Angel Moroni by toking on straight weed..
Do they accept Swiss Francs?
Romney 2012 Unisex White Tee
And here I thought Romney believed that t-shirts were between one man and one woman.
If a t-shirt is all that separates me from a woman, then by all means, I'm taking it off.
I thought vintage referred to actual old-time clothing, not stuff that's just made to look old-timey.
Nah, it's just a marketing gimmick that allows you to jack up the price at least 200%.
I'm getting the coffee mug with his policy positions printed on the side that change when it heats up.
This one is a big win. Fuck you, Hemp, for being funnier than I.
I also happen to be covered with dust right now. Win-win !
Please, please, PLEASE start a Cafepress store and sell these. I would pay you so many Ameros.
Brilliant.
Is there some kind of discount on merch for sister wives?
You should have just grabbed one after the sewing bee.
Are these meant to be worn ironically, much like an Echo Park hipster drinks PBR?
I suspect we won't be seeing too many of these t-shirts on Sat nights at the Echo "Funky Sole" events.
but the canvas tote is filled with plastic Wal-Mart bags.
All made in China.
If I were a heartless, filthy rich oligarch with designs on world domination I would have hired a decent graphic designer. But maybe it's one of those things where he had to hire a Mormon, the way Tom Cruise has to hire fellow Scientologists as poolboys.
Fuck that shit. I got a tote bag from NPR two years ago and it couldn't tote a toting thing that needed to be toted in a tote factory.
Public Broadcasting libel!
But did you get a Nina Totenbag?
Totebags?? Isn't toting what I pay my personal assistants to do? (OK, they are just illegals, but they do have strong arms from all that rigorous farmwork).
YES! Now I *finally* know what to wear for the Friday drinky thingy!
Oh? Will there be a wet T shirt contest?
Does it come in Burberry?
I told you, you should wear the burkha.
You just don't want my boobies showing up in any sideways pics!
Sideboob or GTFO.
Full boob or GTFO
In Wonkette drink-up tradition, they'll probably be so blurry even I won't be able to tell which one is you.
I can't wait to see someone wearing one them T shirts, so I can point and laugh.
I hear the official RomneyBot Virus Scan Software is well worth the $30.
How much for the actual Romneybot virus?
Ask the Koch Bros.
Comes on 172 5.25 floppies like space Jebus intended.
Come on people now, hate on your brother, everybody get together, and try to hate one another right now!
If, instead of putting a Henley over you head, you stick your legs in the sleeves as if pants, well, you have a really, really cool pair of pajama bottoms. And, I do mean cool.
I was thinking: "feed bag."
Needs more artisan, less vintage.
But the Conservative poors from Podunkville USA are buying these, and they not so fashion trendy as we liberal elites.
That Romney logo looks like an eagle hugging the red Pac Man ghost.
I guess they're vintage because they are recycled from his long career of running for president. Like the registration stickers on a car, a new one placed over years of expired ones.
I'm very excited to wear a $3 button of two white men in ties demonstrating how to choke a bitch.
Why in god's name is Romney selling a button with a photo of him and his dad? Does every Republican running for President have daddy issues?
Please tell me one of his kids drew that eagle-thingy.
Isn't an Etch-a-Sketch vintage too?
Just the ones actually made in Ohio.
A Romney Etch-a-Sketch, now that would have been funny and shown he has a sense of humour. That might have made me reconsider, however briefly, my animosity towards him.
Groovy!!
Be the envy of all the other kids on your block by being the first to have George Romney's leathery old hand pinned to your chest!
And buy a button too!
Will his vintage tax returns be available for purchase?
But for the rich donors in the Hamptons, purchasing the "vintage" collection gets you the best bottles of rare varietal vintage for several thousand dollars a bottle.
NEEDZ MOAR POGS!!!!
Tell you what, I'll go with the 99 cent option:
http://tinyurl.com/7lehzf5
The great thing is that Romney is guaranteed a profit even if no one buys any of this and the company goes bankrupt.
They stole that pose of the eagle from the nest cams. It's the duck and cover (with your wings) the little fish you just stole from your fellow pre-fledgling. Steal it, and then shelter it, the perfect Rmoney-Bain-Cayman logo.
"My Dad went to Switzerland and all I got was this lousy Blind Trust."
To be more hip than Obama he is going to need to sell Romney 2012 bongs and even that might not do it.
I want a button with Mint talking with Seamus' vet.
I want a button with Mitt wearing that dog crate hat strapped to his head.
(Or the "Fudge" picture.)
Comic Sans would have been a much more appropriate typeface.
It looks like the "vintage" aspect of the logo is the fact that the design screams "Look at me! I'm 1965!"
Comrade Romnev has my votes!
If it's not actual mittens that say "AMERCIA" I don't want doodly.
That's a fantastic idea, actually. I bet some enterprising Etsy-er could knit some up.
Since most enterprising Etsy-ers are already Chinese resellers, Romney should just co-opt them and make a killing.
Oh, I love the hippie-inspired psychedelic tee. I'm going to order mine as soon as I finish watching this episode of The Partridge Family.
That shirt is so authentically vintage it only comes in a poly-cotton blend.
Fuck that. I'll save my $35 large and go to Applebees — three times.
How much for the vintage Romney magical underwear?
Used, am I right?
Sorry, only for sale in Japan.
"Mr. Romney, do you have any saddlebags for my HoverRound?"
It's like cafepress meets threadless. In a dark alley and rapes it. And then scratches a backwards R onto its forehead.
That was downright poetic and horrifying, but yet historical.
It looks like road kill. Now they just needs some Mom Jeans with a vintage Romney patch on the back pocket.
And lest we forget Ann's contribution. Show some love, bitches!
"Moms drive the economy". And moms who actually work for a living even more so.
Of course, Ann drove the economy by hiring the maids, chefs and the nannies who raised her kids.
Ann's a jerb creator, and you're just jelly.
Moms drive the economy, one Cadillac at a time. The other one is still on the top floor, waiting on the elevator.
I love the restroom symbols representing them.
It's so 'effin' laughable that they think we're falling for their average Joe and Jane routine when all they care about is the uber rich.
There's no damn reason for anyone to be worth more than $999,999,999.00. That's all you get mofos; it's more than you can spend in your lifetime unless you're trying to buy a president and/or Congress. The rest is taxed at 100%. Don't like it? Move!!
When I look at that t-shirt I get the subliminal message: "Believe in America's Ta-ta's". Am I the only one that sees that??
The old-timiest thing available just now is the Official Romney World View. Get yours now while it lasts!
What? There's no VIP check out on his site?
But where do we get our vintage mom jeans to complete the look?
You mean like the ones Mittens has on in the picture? Those are from the Fall "Old White Oligarch" collection, now on sale at JC Penneys!
I'll wait until after the election when you can pick this shit up for almost nothing.
I'm impressed. Brings to mind an album cover for the Monkees.
Why is the eagle fucking the little Cousin Itt thing? Is Cousin Itt the 99%? Ohhh.
Yes, and by the way, that's Romney's father…"what happens in mexico, stays in mexico.
After the election there will be an Internet montage of mug shots featuring bankers wearing those shirts.
Mitt should start his own hipster clothing line,"Real American Apparel."
Do I put on teeshirt? Or do I don Henley?
That pun is such a groaner, it was the end of my innocence.
We all know that crap is king — give us dirty laundry!
Ask Joe Walsh (R-IL).
The latter, but only if you've got your hair combed back and your sunglasses on (baby).
I guess the Aquafresh logo isn't 'vintage' enough for Mitt.
If you look at the negative space, it's a siphon, pitting the middle class against one another while sucking the lifeblood of our nation.
That's funny, I saw a subliminal skull being fucked by Republicans.
How many gold bars will the tote hold?
I don't think any Romney voter would be caught dead with that crap. There is no designer Louis Vuitton or Hermes logo on it.
I'll get the Romney ski cap and use it to rob a liquor store. Thanks, Willard!
I've just been flashed by an eagle.
Mitt Romney: douchebag selling handbags.
Related, though not to each other………..
http://www.zazzle.com/bain_coat_of_arms_family_cr…
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_i…
This is a much funnier story when you're an Old and easily confused and read the descriptions under the items, thinking they are the actual ones from the romney hispster factory. That Ginger, he got me again.
I like the $20 "Believe" poster, with its silhouette of the United States offering a not-so-subtle message in omitting Hawai'i – and another, very-not-so-subtle message in omitting Alaska.
Judging by the offerings under Vintage, I'm guessing trucknutz are too new to fit in this category. Too bad. That bizarre pac-man inspired chicken would look awesome, dangling from a vintage pickup.
That photo records Mitt trying to talk his dad out of making civil rights an issue. "Dad, I know you really care about this, but the way the Republican party is heading today, it's just not a smart move".
"Made in the USA" is not only a liberal issue, but typical of labor union stuff. To make the base happy, it should read, "Made by scab honkies in the USA south."
Or "made by virtual slave labor in the Northern Mariana Islands, which as a US territory allows us to call this 'Made in the USA'".
I used to use paper filters for my phone, but now I got a stainless steel one and I never have to change it….
I'm loving the eagle logo, actually. Little known fact, Mormons worship the Eagle as their War God.
I'm holding out for the dressage uni.
Where are the mom jeans and wingtips?
Wow! For a rich millionaire he has some really cheap crappy swag.
That's for the plebes. People who don't make him shifty eyed and uncomfortable get access to the gold emblazoned Bentley's, yachts and no-bid government contracts.
The t-shirt with the white "Romney" makes me see a short blue wizard (or gnome) making out with Clyde from Pac-Man. Clyde is just all up in that white beard.
That confident stride of the Mittster says it for all Rightards: "Clueless, and proud of it!".
the logo actually looks vaguely spermatozoic if you squint while holding in a bong hit.
What must George Will think of his candidate wearing dungarees?
I'm sticking with my "Mitt is the Shit!" homemade tee with the big red circle and slash through "the".
Do you sell that on a onesie?
I have to admit, I thought it was decently cute and clever when the Kerry campaign distributed old-timey-looking "JFK" buttons.
But, that was because it was meant to be a reference to a Beloved Actual-Election-Winner, John Fitzgerald Kennedy.
Where was it…nascar where he berated members of the audience for wearing cheap windbreakers as raincoats, and now he has the nerve to try to market this s**t?!?
Soon to be sold at the Dollar General, Dollar Tree, DEAL$, Family Dollar, Five Below and the 99 Cents Only Stores.
Do they have any of those kewl Romney Mom-jeans?
Why is the eagle fucking the US?
I want the "Seamus – Mitt's Dog" rubber gag poo.
I'm impressed!
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