Live Blogging Mitt Romney Being Totally Comfortable With Black People

It was not very nice of some former MediaMatters dudes (now over at The Message) to make a whole video pointing out that Mitt Romney is white. We have not seen such bald racism since the last time a black person said something ever. And how could they even think such a thing anyway, just because Mitt Romney as Massachusetts governor was constantly axing the state’s office of Affirmative Action, and also wants to take away all black people’s right to vote. So what who cares?

Here, just before Mitt Romney starts speaking to the NAACP (RIGHT NOW!), is a picture tweeted by his vigilant press aide Andrea Saul. Who doesn’t see total comfort?

The NAACP is being very polite and clappy, not at all like those African Americans in West Philly who were so very ungrateful when Ol’ Mittens deigned to visit their hood.

Romney: Hey black people, did you know you are SO POOR?

Nice Frederick Douglass quote: It’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. But where does Romney come down on the Booker T. Washington/WEB DuBois divide? Grad students around the nation want to know!

Oooh, and the NOM playbook — divide the black and gay communities over marriage — for the win! Maggie Gallagher just made a St. Theresa-style communion with God, in her pants.

Mitt Romney’s Plan for Jobs, by Mitt Romney:
a) Keystone Pipeline.
b) New markets for American goods — with “fair” trade. Does Mitt Romney buy shade-grown fair trade Costa Rican coffee? TRICK QUESTION, Mitt Romney does not believe in your Devil’s Coffee.
c) Oh WHOOPS SO MUCH BOOING FOR REPEALING OBAMACARE.

We are not like those cool tweeters who saw Romney’s speech beforehand, but we are pretty sure he just went off the cuff to explain how he would totally keep all the GOOD parts of Obamacare, but without actually having a plan on how to do so.

d) something else, we were typing we don’t know. Entrepreneurs. Regulations. “Excessive healthcare costs.” We feel like we remember something that was going to *curb* those excessive healthcare costs, and which the CBO said would curb those excessive healthcare costs. Wish we could remember what it was.

“If you want a president who will make things better in the African American community, you are looking at him.” NAACP: “HAHAHAHAHAHAAAHA.”

We would clap too for free four years at any Massachusetts public university for the top 25 percent of each high school’s students. That is nice, Mitt Romney, good job! We live in California. We used to have a similar thing, where our public universities did not cost $30,000 per year. And now we are sad.

That is weird how people think you cannot be the champion of both teachers and students. They are not the Sharks and the Jets, or the matador and the bull. They could in fact have similar interests in increasing access to quality education. But not as long as teachers’ unions send money to Dems, we guess.

Loving the organ stings. Will they make Romney (who is pretty loose today, by Romney standards) get up and TESTIFY?

Mitt Romney’s dad, George Romney, was a pretty cool guy. An actual civil rights activist in the ’60s, and one who sought more social welfare for African Americans. But did Li’l Mitt learn any compassion from him? No, he learned not to be a big squishy lib if he wants to be president.

All right, we thought it was a pretty good showing by the guvnah. Plus black people booing (and booing and booing and booing) is always fun. Mitt Romney will probably now win at least three percent of the African American vote. Mitt Romney is down with the brothers.

And here is Romney’s SRO crowd:

The end.