smiles everyone smiles

Smile, Pennsylvania, You No Longer Have To Suffer The Agony Of Voting!

Good video, Pennsylvania! Very melting pot and clear-skinned and chipper, we’re sure! There may be a little bit of an omission about how 10 percent of your voting populace won’t get to actually vote under your new voter ID law, but we’re sure if they just show up with the birth certificate and the marriage certificate and the name-change order from when they got their sex change and also four other forms of photo ID all notarized and with the raised seal (AND DON’T FORGET THE LONG-FORM!), they too can get state-approved papers in order to exercise their constitutional right of suffrage.

From MaddowBlog:

They’re not even subtle about. Republican Mike Turzai, Pennsylvania’s House Majority Leader, boasted that the state’s new voter-ID law, ostensibly about the integrity of the electoral process, “is gonna allow Governor Romney to win the state of Pennsylvania.” […]

Then there’s this.

Republican Gov. Tom Corbett’s administration has signed a $249,660 contract with a company run by Mitt Romney fundraiser, former state GOP party executive director, pharmaceutical lobbyist, and school voucher advocate Chris Bravacos to direct a media campaign promoting the state’s Voter ID law.

Yes, that very same law, requiring that voters present identification at the polls, which critics contend will suppress Democratic-leaning non-white, poor, elderly and youth voters and which House Majority Leader Mike Turzai recently boasted (video) is “gonna allow Governor Romney to win the state of Pennsylvania.”

One sample PSA on the Bravo Group’s Vimeo page portrays voter ID as just the latest installment in a bright history of American voting rights, and features anodyne black and white photos―including one of suffragettes. Another spot portrays a lot of shiny-toothed middle class models holding ID cards.

Pfft. That’s nothing George Soros gave Brett Kimberlin like $50 box and a box of donuts once. Guess we would only hear about that if Kimberlin were a Republican, HUH MADDOW?

Anyway, as our good friend James O’Keefe likes to remind us: the fact that he could conceivably fraudulently vote means that 10,000 times as many people as ever actually do so should totally be stopped from legally voting. If anything, it just makes too much sense.

[CityPaper/Maddowblog, via Ashleigh_Joe at Wonkville]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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  1. DrunkIrishman

    I am so thankful the U.S. Constitution specifically states only those with photo ID should be allowed to vote.

    Oh wait…

    1. Troglodeity

      It's right next to the part that states you have to actually have your original birth certificate to be President.

          1. Boojum

            That's the problem with true facts; it is hard to keep them exclusive to just the right people.

    1. James Michael Curley

      Remember James Carvell's definition; Pennsylvania is Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with Alabama in the middle.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      He's Asian. But they decided to go with black after the photo shoot, so the 'shopped a little color change in.

  2. ChernobylSoup

    Pennsylvania's just trying to cash in on tourism by being the birthplace and deathplace of constitutional democracy.

  3. Barb

    I'm still pissed that I had to be frisked when I voted in the primary. Luckily, it was done in private, behind the building before I even entered.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      That was last year. This year, it's the transvaginalprobe for you laydeez.

      (Good news is, if found to be pregnant, you get to vote twice!)

  4. Mahousu

    "My Valid Pennsylvania Identification"

    In other words, a Yuengling and a pierogi (or a cheesesteak for the Philly crowd).

    1. rickmaci

      I'm thinking if a carry a six pack of Straub with me to vote, I'm in as a Pennsylvania voter.

      1. SorosBot

        Hey now, that's only the lesser Western half of the state; and currently only those comfortable with cheering for a serial rapist.

  5. spends2much

    It's so fun to watch people who shriek "FREEDOM!!" all the time essentially make it impossible to vote for the other party. That's just so freedom-y , isn't it?

    Ah, well, at least it's not illegal to vote for a Democrat. Wait… is it?

  6. Baconzgood

    Tom Corbett is the worst governor PA has ever seen.

    (this comment is 100% snark free)

    1. Pres.Beeblebrox

      True, that. And he is also hip-deep in the Sandusky/Paterno mess because he was AG during the investigation that took 3 years to get to the grand jury took place. 3 years for more kids to get molested. He also didn't seem too concerned when the Centre County DA disappeared, forever, under mysterious circumstances after the first Sandusky investigation.

      Corbett, in a word, sucks. Makes me miss Tom Ridge, who was actually a reasonable & somewhat liberal Republican. Makes me miss Fast Eddie Rendell even more.

      1. MissNancyPriss

        Whaaaa? for reals? Now i have to spend the rest of my Sunday googling and crying.

  7. SorosBot

    See how I've been trying to tell you that our Gov. Corbett is just as evil as any other Republican governor, yet everyone just keeps ignoring him?

    1. Pres.Beeblebrox

      Corbett was evil before he even got into office, when he was AG. Look at all the energy they put into trying to bring down Bill Deweese and the other Bonusgate politicans while, in the meantime, Jerry Sandusky was sodomizing kids in Happy Valley, and a county DA who knew about same disappeared, forever. Bad stuff.

  8. Callyson

    State election officials first guessed that about 1 percent of Pennsylvania residents would not have the proper ID to vote. Now after reviewing databases, officials say that 9.2 percent of registered voters do not have Pennsylvania Department of Transportation driver's licenses or photo ID cards.

    Dammit, my home state deserves better than this crap…

  9. anniegetyerfun

    Huh, and here I was thinking that I would never have to "miss out" on my right to vote, seeing as how it's enshrined in the Constitution and all. Or is that just for white dudes?

  10. Callyson


    In Allegheny County, the new data shows 99,218 registered voters lack PennDOT identification, with 73,791 of those considered active voters.

    Any guesses on how many voters in Philadelphia County will be affected? Or the ratio of the combined Allegheny (Pittsburgh) and Philadelphia County disenfranchised voters to the Alabama – in – the – Middle ones?


    1. Pres.Beeblebrox

      Ho ho. This was all, of course, not known when the law was implemented. Not at all. What a bunch of jackals. I hope the Brennan Center for Justice and/or the NAACP start filing for TROs real soon.

  11. Hedley_Lamarr

    "Philadelphia in the east, Pittsburgh in the west and Alabama in the middle" -James Carville

  12. JackDempsey1

    The video does not show a male wearing something other than a button-down shirt.
    As a T-shirted Philadelphia-area dude, I am unsure whether to
    a. phone the governor to protest my non-representedness or
    b. duck out to Brooks Brothers for a quick wardrobe modification.

    Where are the slobs?

  13. Hammiepants

    Boy, PA, if you're not careful you could be in a statistical tie with AZ, FL, SC and TX for disingenuous goatblowing assbaggery. Oh, that's what you were TRYING for? Well done then.

  14. UnholyMoses

    Anyway, as our good friend James O’Keefe likes to remind us: the fact that he could conceivably fraudulently vote means that 1000100,000 times as many people as ever actually do so should totally be stopped from legally voting. If anything, it just makes too much sense.

    Fixed for greatest mathematical accuracy!

    (Or, well, at least, as close as I can get to it.)

    1. Doktor Zoom

      I'm going to film myself walking into a bank with a small canister labelled "Deadly Neurotoxin"* to prove that all banks should require depositors to undergo a strip search.

      *but really it'll just be a can of Axe body spray, which is close enough.

  15. Callyson

    But there is good news:

    Democrats on Allegheny County's election board plan to challenge the state's new voter ID law as being too expensive and too difficult to implement in time for the November presidential election.

    That claim will be at the heart of a lawsuit the election board is expected to bring next week, county Executive Rich Fitzgerald said at a news conference Friday. Rather than challenging the constitutionality of the law itself, as the American Civil Liberties Union and others are doing, local officials say the new law is too complicated and expensive to put in place by Nov. 6. Mr. Fitzgerald is one of three members of the election board.

    Just don't let Scalia and Co, Inc., hear about the suit…

    1. actor212

      At the very least, this will buy time for the ACLU to get this on a First Amendment, Fourth Amendment and possibly Fifth Amendment grounds.

    2. MacRaith

      We know how this ends. The Supremes will just throw out the entire PA popular vote and award the electoral votes to Romney.

    3. va_real

      So the Allegheny Co. Democrats are saying that they're okay with the law, they just think it's too hard to get it implemented in time for Nov.? Did they borrow their Dems from SC?

      1. Callyson

        Well, I think the idea is that the ACLU is already challenging the law on its face, so this would be a Plan B form of attack. Whatever throws this crap out…

  16. edgydrifter

    Funny how the fundies aren't going batshit insane (well, more batshit insane) over having to carry a "mark of the beast" to vote. I guess it's OK in the service of a higher cause, e.g. evicting a negro from the White House.

      1. mormos

        they're holding it, which is why you can't punch them with votes, which is why they're smiling.

  17. CrunchyKnee

    Soon only 3/5s of certain people will be able to vote, well, if massa is feeling kindly and all.

    1. emmelemm

      Serious momentary question: do the Amish vote? I would think, since they consider us "English" like a whole different country or something, they wouldn't bother.

        1. Biel_ze_Bubba

          “You could hold up a dead mouse with a sign ‘I love Bush’ and we’d still probably think twice about stomping that mouse underfoot.”

          That's always the first question I ask about a candidate: "Would I stomp on a dead mouse if was carrying the candidate's campaign sign?" The Amish are weird.

  18. ASHLEIGH_Joe

    The first major election I was of-age to vote in was the one that ousted Santorum. So, as a former Philly-area student, who would have been completely disenfranchised more or less without recourse under this scheme (despite the fact that PA election law expressly permits college residence to qualify for voter registration purposes), let's just say that this raises my hackles just a bit.

    1. SorosBot

      Which is more of their plan; college students tend to be liberal, so they're undesirable voters too.

      1. ASHLEIGH_Joe

        Don't know what you're talking about; it's basically so obvious it's self-evident, that Rick Santorum lost re-election due to massive voter fraud, and not because he's terrible.

        Also, the reason he lost his own state's Republican primary just the other month is also because of massive voter fraud amongst traditionally Democratic constituencies. This is completely logical, and not obviously facile.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Wanna bet people don't get them in time for the election?

      These shameless fuckers stopped just short of requiring "photo ID or a GOP membership card" — which is exactly what they'd have done if they thought they could get away with it.

  19. Antispandex

    There used to be this government in Europe that was always demanding to see people's papers too. But, that was a long time ago. I'm sure it's not a problem now.

  20. Self-Uploader

    I remember trying to get my mother a picture ID — NY State Non-Drivers lD so she could open a new bank account after my father passed away. She had an expired passport which wasn't on the list of acceptable forms, but fortunately we had (1) her original social security from the 1930's (2) a copy of her marriage certificate I obtained from public records (3) a benefits card (4) a credit card. She was in assisted living in another town only about 2 1/2 hours from me. Good thing I had a car and could get the day off from work to drive her! It was a snap. What's all the whining about?

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Did you notice that you could hand that pile of papers to any random stranger, and that person would be able to get the picture "ID"?

      1. Self-Uploader

        It would have to be a random stranger who could pass for an 80-something (assuming the clerk was paying attention). Then again those old-olds are pretty sneaky and probably the ones perpetrating most of the massive voter fraud going on in this country.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      What makes you think "poor people voting for the Democrat" is an imaginary problem?

  21. Nothingisamiss

    So….no shit, I DO think this means the big O loses PA.

    This is a big fucking deal. No snark, just tears.

    1. MissNancyPriss

      I am totally going there and helping get folks ID's (Dems only, please). My dad is in danger of not being able to vote in PA and I'll be damned if I am going to let those shitbags get away with this.

  22. Doktor Zoom

    Hey, you know what would really stop voter fraud? Require a government-issued photo ID to vote…but in order to GET the government-issued photo ID in the first place, you need to show a government-issued photo ID.

    Pretty good, huh? We'll call it Catch Twenty-Twelve.

  23. SpeedoFart

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: These Republican doucherockets could save themselves a lot of time and aggravation if they just outlawed the Democratic party.

    Easy as pie!

  24. Troglodeity

    If they'd had YouTube in Goebbels' day, we'd have seen the exact same video of smiling happy people – except with yellow Star-of-David armbands instead of Official Pennsylvania ID cards.

  25. AddHomonym

    “Don’t *miss out* on your right to vote!”  Like it’s a fucking Nickelback show and you could not get though to Ticketmaster in time.  Fuck!

  26. Baba_NinjaCat12

    Basically what they are saying, Voting is a name of a night club in Pennsylvania where they only allow fashion model and beautiful people to dance the night away.

  27. CogitoErgoSumo

    The easiest way to settle this whole voter ID issue is for the Democrats to wholeheartedly support it and insists on the most stringent application possible, i.e. a biometric chip implanted in every legal voters forehead or palm. That's the last you hear about it.

  28. Negropolis

    I think when Republicans propose this shit, that Dems in every state legislature should call for an amendment that if you're going to require ID, then the legislature also has to find a way of paying for IDs for those without, because we also want as many people practicing their constitutional right, right?

  29. NYNYNYjr

    Hey old people- there's a new thing you need to do, just log onto this website to find out more. Make sure you have the newest version of firefox and a borg-enabled flash disk.

  30. NYNYNYjr

    Forget Wonkette! Everyone's hangin at Wonkville now. Just show your standard protocol I.D. and type in your pintrest password backwords. It's totes proactive.

  31. Biel_ze_Bubba

    I assume that douchebag Mike Turdzai has proof that "voter fraud" is exclusively practiced by Democratic voters, because how else could he gloat that voter ID will hand the election to Mint Mormoney?

    Or maybe, just maybe, he's simply stopped pretending that this has anything to do with voter fraud — he's flat out admitting that it has everything to do with suppressing votes for Obama.

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