There are so many scary things in the world. There are potato bugs, and snails, and getting caught up in a Chris Christie bum fight on the Jersey Shore. But do you wanna hear something really scary? Sixty percent of Americans think rich people job creators don’t pay enough taxes. This is what keeps Brian Kilmeade — he with that light musk of date rape — up at night.

Anyway, as Steve Douchey points out, raising taxes on “job creators” and “small businesses” would only cover the debt for 8.5 days, so why bother, when you can just get rid of all the rape crisis centers instead? Oh, whoops, haha there aren’t any. NEVER MIND.


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  • flamingpdog

    Brian Kilmeade would rather Kilpeople.

  • 60% of Americans don't agree with him? And that keeps him up at night?

    Wow. I can only imagine the amount of urine he must have in his panties stepping out into the night…

    • noodlesalad

      To be fair, he's probably imagining all the stories about voter fraud, death panels, and Donald Trump Fox is going to have to do to get that closer to 49%.

    • Antispandex

      Yes, but 40% agree with him. Which is a clear win.

  • ChernobylSoup

    raising taxes on “job creators” and “small businesses” would only cover the debt for 8.5 days

    Let's go with some Eisenhower era tax rates and see what we come up with.

    • sati_demise


    • It can't be stressed enough: lowering taxes on the middle class, who create 90% of the jobs in this nation, is the best way to jump start a sluggish economy.

      95% of jobs are created by small business. 95% of those small businesses return $50,000 or less in income to their owners. That's a distinctly middle class income. Give the middle class a tax break, they'll open shops and create start ups and they sure as damned hell won't stick the money under their mattresses or in a Swiss bank account.

      Clinton, for all his center-right faults, got this part exactly right.

      • SoBeach

        And when they don't directly create jobs, they create the demand. Which creates jobs.

        But that's only in the reality-based economy.

    • Ohforcripessake

      Dam straight! Raise the taxes on the 2% until he thinks it's worth bothering about. And while I'm dreaming, how about a tax holiday for us 99%'ers for a year or two?

    • real_dc_native

      Cold war communism and Eisenhower tax rates. Good times. You never miss the water until the well runs dry.

    • miss_grundy

      Which was around 90% tax rate for those "job creators" and "small businesses", right?

      Make it extremely hard for these people to buy dressage horses, polo ponies and those new boats you see out in the marina in Petoskey and Charlevoix.

  • These lower income people just don't understand the system. We need to raise taxes on goatherders and nail ladies, not job creators.

  • Don't worry, Little People, FOX News is here to make sure you don't get too much education. You are harder to control when you get uppity.

  • Baconzgood

    Kittens keep me up at night. No sir, I don't trust thier act at all. Once you drop your guard they'll come at ya with both barrels blazing.


      • Baconzgood

        Every time I see you comment I go into my closet and weep softly.

    • Antispandex

      Hummm…I've really never trusted squirrels either.

      • LetUsBray

        No reason you should: Squirrels are cute rats.

        • emmelemm

          Rat Libel!

          Rats are people too. Unlike corporations and Republicans.

  • noodlesalad

    Hey, guys, i just stuck my head outside of the Fox News bubble, and it was scary! People actually thought Obama wasn't a Kenyan Muslin, wanted the wealthy to pay their fair share, and something about climate change. And there was a lot of these folks! And some of them were even white! Fortunately, the Koch brothers are paying a lot of money to keep the air nice and pure in this bubble, so I won't make that mistake again.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Forty percent of Americans still believe that job creation and economic growth didn't happen between 1950 and 1990. Because taxes.

  • rmontcal23

    Krauthammer is the scariest thing!

  • LesBontemps

    You wanna know what's really scary for this crowd? 60% of the American people with pitchforks and torches.

    • Allmighty_Manos

      or guillotines

    • va_real

      Goatherders armed with lanterns & cots! You can't make this stuff up!

  • coolhandnuke

    They sure invited a whole lotta empty seats for Kilmeade's big speech.

    • Preferred Customer

      He's a Romney supporter. He likes playing to empty stadiums.

      • va_real

        Empty stadiums are just like quiet rooms only on a larger scale.

  • elburritodeluxe

    Well, thank God we have fair and balanced journalists like Brian Kilmeade to make sure that public opinion is moved in the other direction in his usual fair and balanced way.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      You don't want to have all the news media biased toward reality, do you? You need Faux, for balance.

  • SorosBot

    If people wanting the rich to pay their fair share gives Brian nightmares, I wonder what a reminder of the 1%'s fate in the French and Russian revolutions does.

  • Blunderthing

    "The only thing wrong with the poor is that the rich have run out of uses for them." — I forget

  • Fairtackle

    When you cite Charles Krauthammer (competitive hot dog eater?) as an authority on anything, you are basically just giving up.

  • SayItWithWookies

    So hiking taxes on the rich is a stupid idea because it pays for 8.5 days of our budget, whereas killing funding for Planned Parenthood is a great idea even though it only "saves," like, a minute of the same budget? And yet they're always yelling about how we need to cut the deficit? Douchenozzles don't even know when they're trying to have it both ways.

    • Oh yes they do.

    • That's not about the budget. What part of "Slut-shame them with babiez" don't you understand?

    • BarackMyWorld

      We can't help the economy by spending $60 billion on infrastructure because that'd increase the debt, but we can't tax the rich because that'd only reduce the debt by $100 billion. No, that makes perfect sense.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Chris Christie in a tangerine Speedo is the scariest thing. Unless it is Scalia in a cherry red Speedo. Or Ginny Thomas in a Saran Wrap bikini.

    • Sir, we don't know how you obtained the address of our secret gala, but if you value your life, you will never appear at that particular mansion again.

  • Extemporanus

    The scariest thing about this for Brian Kilmeade is that it involves math.

  • Since $85 billion is insignificant, and taxing the rich is unfair, I'm sure he'd be happy if we cut the defense budget and didn't invade any more countries. Right?

    • flamingpdog

      Cutting the defense budget decreases the amount of dead brown people overseas.
      Raising taxes on rich people decreases the amount of dead brown people here.
      Sounds like a WIN-WIN!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Win-win, sure … if you like brown people. But we're talking Republican Party here.

    • Kilmeade is happiest when the control room gooses his embedded butthole-vibrator instead of his genital shock-collar. Reading the teleprompter correctly without allowing his tiny mind to wander off-ideology is key to obtaining the desired feedback.

  • Dumbedup

    60% think the top 4% should pay 35%. Don't worry though, because 10% of that 60% are subject to being misled by the 1%, and could tip the vote balance to 51% for RMoney

    • FraAnima

      Math is hard.

      — Barbie

  • Nostrildamus

    Live from another Romney fundraiser.

  • Callyson

    "This could have been in a speech from 2010, this could have been in a speech from 2009"

    It's killing the FOX News twits that people continue to care about the rich getting richer at everyone else's expense, and that the middle class is dying off so that corporations can hit their short term profit margins, isn't it?


  • SorosBot

    Fox is also very pissed off that we allow the poor and working class to vote.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Fox is also very pissed off that we allow the poor and working class to vote for someone else.


    • real_dc_native

      If the poor and soon to be poor couldn't vote then there would be no need for Fox, would there? Just like any other cost, the corporate overlords would cut them off in a minute if they didn't need them any more.

  • edgydrifter

    They've got money, they've got power… and now they're pissed because they aren't popular enough. Quelle horreur. We are so ungrateful.

    • shelwood46

      Really, I wonder if Brian isn't actually so much concerned that the public wants the rich taxed more as he is that the public isn't buying a particular Fox point of propaganda. I bet he'd be equally upset if Fox said people should like haddock and 60% of people said they preferred salmon.

  • sharethegrief

    I heard that Gretchen kept him up at night with crank calls.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Oh please. Gretchen's the type that farts into the phone when you pick up.

  • Brian Kilmeade — he with that light musk of date rape…

    that's what keeps ME up at night.

  • Is there an award for "Most Punchable Face in Cable News"?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Oh please. Kilmeade and Doocy mud-wrestle for it every day.

    • emmelemm

      Too many nominees.

    • Fare la Volpe

      The field is really wide open now that Pat Buchanan's off the air.

  • Callyson

    raising taxes on “job creators” and “small businesses”

    Is a terrible idea, which is why Obama's idea about leaving tax cuts for the middle class, while raising them for those who are not job creators or small business owners so as to reduce the deficit, is a great idea.

    That was your point, right?

    • wondering where i am

      Okay, tax wizards, explain this for me. please. So if a small business person reports his income on his personal taxes. doesn't he or she take a shitload of deductions too? If their income is $250 K after that, they are not what I would call middle class.

      Maybe they should just get Romney's tax accountant.

  • Schmannnity

    I would have thought the answer to the question, what keeps Brian Kilmeade up at night, was "Steve Douchey's prostate massages."

  • Beowoof

    Kilmeade, that fuck never created a job, (although might have given a few), so I would suggest we start with raising his taxes.

  • coolhandnuke

    Since Kilmeade is so into the topic of "significant ways" to help the budget…the $140 million budget of the NEA which Fox has repeatedly gone after to have it dismantled as a burden to taxpayers….is significant–right Kilmeade.

  • IncenseDebate

    He's the guy always shouting the loudest during the 2 Minutes of Hate.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Kilmeade's hissy fit is sorely in need of some shoe throwing and gun brandishing, imo.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Sometimes I miss how the fear of Communism helped rich people keep a balanced perspective on things.

  • flamingpdog

    Kansas City, MO = 2012 All-Star Team.
    Brian Kilmeade = 2012 All-Tsar Team.

  • elburritodeluxe

    Brian Kilmeade reports AND decides.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Only 60%?

  • An_Outhouse

    I really don't know how Faux and Frauds manages to stay awake, repeating the same clap trap over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over ….

  • Not_So_Much

    I think it's really the math part of that percentage that's scaring Brian more than anything.

    • Awful People

      Well thankfully 65% disagree with the 60% so it all works out to Fox Math in the end.

  • thefrontpage

    Brian Kilmeade is a conduit to Satan. Look at all of the demons on that baseball field, all around him, watching, sending messages. Brian Kilmeade is a conduit to Satan!

    So is Fox News.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Sure, that tax munnie would only fund the US FUCKING BUDGET for 8.5 days, but if we could get President Mittens to put the cash into his IRA, it would be solid gold houses for everyone!

  • mavenmaven

    "More rape, less health care, less education, more wars, those are obviously the things that will fix the suddenly all important deficit", as the rich pay their flunkies to say.

  • Antispandex

    Hey, it's only 60%. That means that 40 percent think rich people are already paying their fair share. In Fox Land, that's a majority!

  • flamingpdog

    Slightly OT, but (no snark), thank you, dear Editrix, for putting up a very short and sweet blog post, unlike the lengthy treatises we have been subjected to lately, and letting the commenters comment.

  • Jadetiger79

    I find the breathless fever pitch of this noise the most disturbing. The urgency in their need to convince the dunces in the audience that *ohmygodyouguys he will pass a tax maneuver that most of us support* reeks of desperation. Good. Maybe we are onto something.

    • va_real

      I'm just hoping that their viewers will eventually get outrage fatigue & stop watching.

  • Hmm, I would estimate roughly 99% of Ameritards disagree with me on any given topic, and I have could not give a fuck less and never have.

  • Awful People

    60% of the country thinks the opposite of what our cancerous media conglomerate tells them to think on this specific issue! And that's the major problem!

  • Naked_Bunny

    These are the people claiming that cutting funding to NPR and the NEA would make a big difference.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Oh please, please go on, because I am simply fascinated by what a FOX News personality with a seven figure contract for babbling dingleberry-licking support of corporate hegemony at a camera wants to tell me about the fairness of paying taxes.

  • Last night I dreamt Donald Trump had to settle for silver faucets in the bathroom of his Manhattan penthouse instead of gold. I woke up screaming and dashed off a check to the Romney campaign.

  • DahBoner

    Sixty percent?

    This is surprising, since 50% of Americans have below average IQ's…

  • Bullshit. If it was "really scary" he would have killed the stadium lights and put a flashlight under his chin.

  • There are liars and then there are goddamned fucking whiny liars. I love the box insert just under Kilmeade saying, "What they're not saying: Taxes go up for those making over $250K/yr." The only people trying to keep this a secret so far have been liars like FOX Pretending to Present News. Of course, I think most of them believe that the middle class are all making somewhere in the neighborhood of $250K/yr, so we'll all be up in arms about our tax increases. What a bunch of dolts.

  • Tommy1733

    This is not a "Wedge" issue. It's a "Wedgie" issue.

  • hippie13

    What disturbs me is the lack of another 20% with the torches and pitchforks.

  • hippie13

    Does somebody actually pinch his eyes together before each episode?

  • BZ1

    Now if those 60% would actually vote that way!!

  • real_dc_native

    What should scare him are the 10% – 20% who are unemployed and starting to think that the rich fat cats are starting to look pretty tasty. EAT THE RICH! (They're great with hobo beans)

  • Soylent Green

    50 percent of all Republicans think Obama is a Kenyan. Does that scare ya, 'cause i sure am wetting the bed.

  • sullivanst

    Never would a Church consider it its purpose to Evangelize, surely! Never would they go on missions to convert the heathens!

  • ChrisM2011

    He's starting to look like De Niro in the Raging Bull old man make-up.

  • ttommyunger

    This pig-eyed little pussyfart has a mouth like a torn pocket. And Doocey; and the cross-eyed bitch, where do they find these people?

  • valmach

    Would someone please enlighten me, If the 99% (me too) are hurting and many of them are considered "Middle class" and the President is all about the MC , then how come the 99% (me too) are not cuing up to vote for the Prez? I mean, that would make good sense n'est pas? It is clear that the old rich boring Mormon guy , is in the tank for the 1% .. seeing how he is one huge liar and wants to give the rich more and more money – WTF is the problem with the 99%…? Someone told me this idiot Kilmdale was pretty convincing to people that watched Fox – is that the 99% (not me)?

  • fitley

    Want to hear something really scary? The very idea that a majority of Americans think the majority should rule. Ha ha. Republicans would never dream of that.

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