President Barack Obama is a nanny stater who loves nothing more than to Oppress you with his nannying, and Human Events has got the PROOF: there are now regulations that say that if you employ a foreigner to be a goatherder, you must provide him (OR HER! Just kidding, not her) with a clean, comfortable cot and a lantern, almost as if we are in the USA and not in 14th century Scotland or present-day Moldavia. What fresh hell is this?
These new special procedures issued by the Labor Department must be followed by employers who want to hire temporary agricultural foreign workers to perform sheep herding or goat herding activities. It describes strict rules for sleeping quarters, lighting, food storage, bathing, laundry, cooking and new rules for the counters where food is prepared.
“A separate sleeping unit shall be provided for each person, except in a family arrangement,” says the rules signed by Jane Oates, assistant secretary for employment and training administration at the Labor Department.
“Such a unit shall include a comfortable bed, cot or bunk, with a clean mattress,” the rules state.
Diane Katz, a research fellow in regulatory policy at The Heritage Foundation, unearthed the policy in the “Federal Register,” the massive daily journal of proposed regulations that Washington bureaucrats publish every day.
Under the Obama Administration, the nanny state has imposed 75 new major regulations with annual costs of $38 billion.
“This captures what is wrong with government,” Katz said. “I could not have made this up.”
Diane Katz is right: she could not have made up a land where workers who work in isolation for extended periods must have a bed and and a light source and a way to cook food. That is because Diane Katz lives in capitalist paradise Somalia, apparently, where Diane Katz is a Somali pirate.
Next Barack Obummer will tell us goatherders aren’t allowed to be nine years old either, because he doesn’t want poors to understand the value of work.
[HumanEvents, via Wonkville]
{ 147 comments }
Only communists need good lights after dark, because plotting. Do you people know nothing of decent country living?
GREEN ACRES LIBEL!
Mr Haney just happens to have a premium quality cot in the back of his truck, which he will sell to you, for a reasonable price.
Then you can lug it around yelling "Curb service"!
LIBELTARD!
Next thing you know, they'll be using the mangers to hold their anchor babies!
http://wondermark.com/851/
That's like Actors Equity, theatre has to provide a cot for you to take a nap, I am furious as I was not aware of this "Lantern" provision.
We're supposed to nap in those?
Cuz I heard fap. Which is why I keep missing my cues.
What about your pees?
I left those in the cornstarch
Sheeit, if this gonna be that kind of party, I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.
He aspired to have them whirled.
Well, hell, goat and sheep herders already get all the sex they want.
What?
Not if she is the sheriff's girl friend(I love that joke)
I don’t think the common person is getting it. Nobody understands why Obama is hurting them. My college kid, the baby sitters, the nails ladies, the goat herders — everybody who’s got the right to vote — they don’t understand what’s going on. I just think if you’re lower income — one, you’re not as educated; two, they don’t understand how it works, they don’t understand how the systems work, they don’t understand the impact
Is there a VIP entrance? We're VIP. We shouldn't be using the goat herder entrance.
That's ok. They'll all be disenfranchised by November. And if that doesn't work, the electronic voting machines will auto-correct their choices.
Now THAT's some trolling.
Will no one think of the kids, not to mention the billies and nannies?
That's a BAAAAAAAAAAAAA-d pun.
Gruff comment, my friend
Cabron!
Eventually, HumanEvents will be accused of crying wolf.
Sleeping quarters, lighting, food storage, bathing, laundry, and a clean place to make a jam sandwich?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!! HE IS WORSE THAN STALIN!!!!!!
How often do they have to bathe?
Figures. He IS the son of a goatherder.
But maybe he's just preparing us for a future where everyone loses their house to foreclosure and we're all forced to become nomads.
Leave my girlfriend ALOOOOOOONNNNNE. We're in LOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEE!!!11!!1!
Wait, here, in case I didn't make myself clear…
That's one ugly dude.
Looks like she's had her head buried in the Federal Register.
Its going to take 3 hours of porn to get that image out of my head.
I'd guess the number of people this affects will be close to the number of dead people who voted in 2010.
Are you from Chicago?
Now Obama gets to ram the new goat rules down our throats and there is mutton we can do about it wether we like it or not.
But they're doing it sheepishly.
By the way, "wether" is a castrated male goat. I am waiting for someone to correct that, lol. Morning Weejee!
I cot it.
And the top of the morning to your Barb!
Rings a bell.
Oh, ewe…
No one comments like ewe do.
He could make us marry them
And have kids.
RELATED: Goat spears wiener
Hey Friend, I am not clicking that link. Thanks anyway. : )
Both are very safe for work
That's cute that you think I work.
ewe lie!
Your posts are shear ecstasy.
Your comment has suede me to stay out of the pun fest.
Oh Ewe!
These regulations will be very temporary.
Nobody pushes around Big Mohair.
Looks Diane is Katzenjammered.
Hey, come on, wingnuts, you're missing the very large and obvious loophole. This only applies to foreign workers. Hire American goatherders, and you can make them sleep on the ground and eat cold goat turds in the dark. That's if you're enough of a commie liberal to allow your employees to eat and sleep in the first place.
Like the Statue of Liberty says, give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses, because they will be used to the shit that we're going to lay on 'em.
This is good news for Futon Store!
WIll these rules apply to Ann Romney and her friends when they turn the South Lawn into a sheep pasture and dress up as shepherdesses to entertain themselves?
How many costumes do you think I can pack?
Thank you. I've never seen it, and will now!
President Barack Obama is a nanny stater who loves nothing more than to Oppress you with his nannying…
And he's also a diabolically dangerous CIA Secret Agent Man!
Probably a floor wax, also.
~
Not to mention a dessert topping.
And then Obummer is going to insist that these workers actually get PAID, instead of working to avoid beatings! THEN he'll want them to be free people too, instead of slaves! What an elitist!
I was employing a dozen goatherders — creating jobs, helping the economy — and then this awful president just staged a big government power grab over the entire goat industry. Now my accountant is telling me I have to switch to vicuñas — vicuñas, dammit!
(Runs away weeping).
My seester been a vicuna twelve times today already. For the right price, she make it thirteen.
¡Cuidado los vicuñas!
Just take my advice: never, ever try to raise chinchillas and chupacabras on the same ranch.
They also probably think regulations preventing employers from flogging workers are "what's wrong with America".
Under the Obama Administration, the nanny state has imposed 75 new major regulations with annual costs of $38 billion.
Why, the beds for goat herders rule alone is costing the US taxpayer $4 billion per year because shut up.
Are they worried that the light will make The Heritage Foundation's nocturnal goat fun less romantic?
Will they get loose shoes and a tight pussy, to go along with the warm place to shit Obama has insisted they have?
I've done backcountry work in western Colorado, and ran into many of these workers. Mostly Peruvian shepherds who work on leased Forest Service land, with flocks of hundreds. Usually, all they have for shelter are tents scattered through their range, and whatever food gets cached for them. Great folks, btw, and excellent horsemen.
I thought gay cowboys did this kind of work – Hollywood lies again!
Gay Peruvian Shepherd Cowboys vs Aliens. Sounds like a much better movie.
Now with Lanterns!
What happened to the Basques or was that many years ago?
They were synonymous with shepherding until the 70's. I never met any, but I'm told they aren't the force they used to be. Americanization, dontcha know.
Next liberals will demand that we educate our children! No, never mind that would be just silly.
There has to be a goat sexy time joke in there.
Na-a-a-ahhhhh
Calling Mickey Kaus! Don't blow it.
No problemo, I think we still have sugar-cane cutters in Florida that get to sleep standing up in mangrove swamps. That should give the nutters a nice warm feeling.
Is there a subsection in those regulations that covers goat blowers? Mickey Kaus wants to know.
The Tea Party is God’s judgment on us for teaching our parents how to use the Internet.
That is all.
Translation: "I almost certainly made this up."
-per my handy Wingnut-to-English phrasebook.
Those Brokeback Mountain guys didn't have separate sleeping quarters and look how well everything worked out for them (I only saw half the movie, so I assume there was a happy ending).
Apparently they were so poor they had to share a sleeping bag.
That was a movie? I thought it was an especially long Ralph Lauren commercial.
This country has been going downhill ever since Obama flew in on his umbrella!
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the socialism go down.
Just putting the 'calif' in supercalifragilisticexpialidocious…
Yeah, but with the tax increase on those making over $250,000, who can afford to hire a goat herder anymore?
It is so hard to find good herding stock these days.
Now I can't keep this straight. Obama is a Nazi and he's going to put us in (FEMA) camps after he takes away our guns. But he wants us to be comfy? I can never keep it straight. As a liberal am I going to sneak into your house at 1 in the morning and rape your kids or am I weak,ineffectual, dope smoking, lazy free loader?
Am I supposed to be scary or a pussy?
Split the difference and be a scary pussy.
What? Comment has to be approved by administrator before being posted? What kinda crap is that? I'm trying to get my snark on here Rebecca!
WTF??? Someone doesn't like bacon? I suspect Al Qaeda is behind this.
Happened to me yesterday, Bacz. Just tweet her or email her. Something happened over the weekend…she wasn't specific, but mention was made of transvaginal probings…
She just doesn't understand. I'm respected here. I have 63 people who follow me religiously and hang on my every word. I give them meaning in life.
Sorry to inform you but… that fatal attraction drawing followers to you like a magnet is the porcine-oriented, salty connotation stimulating the 'savory'* glands whenever one reads your wonkname.
*eh, some of this nomenclature I could be making up~
A few days ago, there was that awful Brazilian dude fuckin up all our pretty threads, so I took out the check mark that says "let people with minimum 75 p comment here automatically." But it seems to have trapped a few ACTUAL people as well. When it does, just tweet me or email me — rebecca at wonkette dot com — and I will whitelist you. I saw jukesgrrl in the spam folder too. :( You should be good to go.
Thank you *goofy smile and blushing because you acknowledged my existence*
"whitelist" – is that some GOP thing for candidates?
Headline of the day (Rolling Stone):
Ted Nugent Drummer Arrested After Stealing Golf Cart
Bravo Ms Katz! No cots for goatherders. Also, no vaginal probes. And get rid of the security screening at airports. Hooray for libertarianism!
I hope Wonkette management will self-regulate I’m getting tired of sleeping on the floor and blogging in the dark.
Bloggers' Rights! Bloggers' Rights!
Chascates is a houseblogger now. We're all just fieldbloggers…
THAT IS OUR WORD.
There are too many damn government regulations! The only way we can have prosperity is by gutting regulatory agencies and also by relying on our noble industrialists to find ways around those regulations whenever they can. Look how well that's worked for the coal industry! After a bunch of job-killing regulations on coal dust started to wipe out black lung disease, the industry found ways of ignoring or gaming the regulations, and now coal profits and black lung rates are skyrocketing again, as God wanted it. Why have job-killing regulations when we can have worker-killing job conditions?
Also, can we nominate NPR's Howard Berkes for Reporter Sainthood? He's been doing excellent "afflict the comfortable" reporting on Massey Coal and the Big Branch mine explosion, and has kept at it like a pit bull. Dude deserves to have a Norma-Rae / All The President's Men kind of movie about him.
right.
that and the prison series they've been doing on and off over the last few years.
only goddamned investigative journalism going on anywhere.
And let's not forget Daniel Zwerdling's series on PTSD and head trauma, which actually managed to bring pressure to bear on Pentagon policy. Real changes happened on account of that.
And one other shining light in investigative journalism: the awesome work done by the Pro Publica project. As a nonprofit, they're picking up a lot of the slack as mainstream journalism has been contracting. (in fact, I think I just found the story I'm going to do for Wonkette tomorrow…)
THAT was the series / reporter i was trying to recall. he did some prison series too i believe.
looking forward to the pro publica piece
Hah…funny you should mention that. I was reading MSN about the Anthony Smith arrest for murders and wingnuts were claiming his attorney would make some fake "head trauma from concussions" defense…because as well all know, there is NO PROOF that multiple concussions cause trauma which seriously affects brain chemistry to the point of rewriting an entire personality with new and interesting insanities never evidenced by the victim. Also, PTSD is just war weariness from liberal pussies…conservative men don't get PTSD, they love war! war hunh…what is it good for? absolutely everything! sez its agin!
Yeah no shit…all those unfair regulations that keep nuclear engineers from growing a third arm due to dripping radioactive material from cheap as hell pipes and welds…the gummint is in the way of progress and mutation, people!
This really gets my goat!
They can't get your goat if they don't know where it's kept. Oh, fuck- that's WHY THEY WANT LANTERNS!!!
Obama wants the goatherders treated better than the goats! Communist! Fascist! Muslim!
Why is the gubbmit spending $38 Billion on beds for goat herders when we have so many needy VIP's waiting in SUV's like commoners? That money should be spent building special VIP highway's to the Hamptons.
The Big Goat insterests in this country are out of control!
This is actually a move against Big Goat, Big Goat being humans who own goats, not some large, intelligent goat.
Hopefully this will not harm the all important goat-ball-licker industry.
Rick Santorum needs a plan B.
So that's where Gretchen Carlson is these days.
You're seriously depressing Gene Simmons by saying that…oh great now we'll have yet ANOTHER lobby by the end of the day…
The next thing ya know, that damn communist Kenyan will make it illegal to have sex with our goats and our foreign goat herders. Our millionaire and billionaire goat owners will renounce their U.S. citizenship and move overseas where they are free to love their goats and goat herders any way they please.
Are you guys sure this new regulation isn't for the GOATS???
Recall that the Heritage Foundation said that anyone who has a tv and refrigerator isn't really poor.
true…of course the only really poor people here are the picked on billionaires who might have to pay 35% of their massive income and could see capital gains, the making money off of money increased slightly as well. Remember, RMoney said those guys are doing fine….poor people, shit those moochers might have indoor air conditioning for all we know…they don't know the IMPACT of their selfishness on the selfless wealthy!
The other thing the Heritage Foundation famously did when composing an incredibly unreliable brief on the necessity of privatizing social security they made the bold claim the existing system rips black people off. Why? Because according to Heritage black people live only to 69 years of age…no more. Wrap your mind around that one…and this is the conservatives go-to prestigious think tank at work, after all hahaha.
Well, duh. The LORD is my shepherd, and not the Gummint! There's nothing about no cots or lanterns in the Bible, now is there?
Or the constitution
Next thing you know you're going to have to actually pay these people.
The LORD separated the night from day so we would know when to sleep and when to work. This is Genesis. I always pitied the unlucky bastards who lived near the poles.
Yes, they smell even worse than the Latvians.
Andy Borowitz has gotta be pissed at Human Events for doing his shtick better than he does.
When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
The Bible also says that goatherders and shepherds won't have cots or lanterns, so there.
"Puritanism – the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."
"Conservatism – the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be eating something other than salted rat dicks."
I don't see the problem here. These rules only apply "if you employ a foreigner to be a goatherder…" Answer. Hire an American Goatherder bitches! Problem solved.
Sounds like that should be linked over in wonkville!
i am personally fond of 14th scotland.
Screw the goat and sheep farmers, but bring on the fancy cheese for the Romney Hampton shindigs!!!
I figure if the hay in the loft in the barn is good enough to have sex with my sister, then it's good enough for goat herders…
much like a movie review, Katz' actual words were "I thought I could not have made this up, but I did – I'm really proud of myself!"
Clean mattresses?! Soon these people will want clean water and time to sleep 6 hours!
gotta hand it to those damn dirty Communists; they're always trying to wreck that special relationship between an employer and his workers by mandating they provide the very most basic amenities that could be picked up for $50 at Target. I mean the nerve, don't they know big agribusiness is already suffering under unneccessary regulations like putting a tarp at the bottom of their pigshit lagoons which they fill until the lagoon explodes? It's almost like they want to punish them by making them shell out $50 a head out of their billions in quarterly profits…tyranny!
Oba-a-a-a-ama! O ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-ama!
Isn't it amazing when wingnuts who've never held anything resembling a labor job can act so authoritatively as to know what is and isn't coddling? I mean the misanthropic ignorance and faux outrage is almost satirical….yes, the evidence that our government is tyrannical is that it makes multi-billion dollar agri-giants provide matresses…slippery slope to Aushwitz, people! But secretly spying on us and torturing people is defense of democracy. Give me a fucking break you wingnut douchenozzles.
The Heritage Foundation has waaay too much time on its hands…
Just wait, this will lead to man-on goat marriages, right Rick?
But these workers are "temporary" and "foreign". They're supposed to be our new slaves.
We all work. Just some of us get paid.
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