HOT AS THE DICKENS  7:30 pm July 9, 2012

Fat Cat Gov’t Scientists Suggest It’s Really Hot Outside All The Time

by Jim Newell

Stay cool ya dumb dogWashington, DC is back down to 85 degrees again today — after two weeks of terrifyingly scorching volcano hell heat worse than anything that even the space between Chris Christie’s thighs have ever encountered, of course. But still: It’s 85 now. Al Gore is back to being fat and gay again, by all reasonable estimates. And yet here come the libtard science trolls to ruin everyone’s fun, again: “Scorching temperatures in June’s second half helped the continental United States break its record for the hottest first six months in a calendar year, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration said on Monday.”

Clearly this is an aberration: Jesus was on vacation to Neptune for June and forgot to turn down the temperatures. It happens. But these fanatical scientists suggest that climate change might have played some part in the hot tempies:

Climate change spurred by carbon dioxide emissions may not be the primary cause, but these extreme conditions are consistent with what scientists see as a “new normal,” Crouch said by telephone.

“It’s hard to pinpoint climate change as the driving factor, but it appears that it is playing a role,” he said. “What’s going on for 2012 is exactly what we would expect from climate change.”

Nice, try, Mao, because that’s probably your name, “Mao,” but your Wonkette gets all of its science news from Washington Post climatologist George Will, who explained yesterday that of course it’s hot, it’s Summer.

WILL: How do we explain the heat? One word: summer. I grew up in central Illinois in a house that had air conditioning. What is so unusual about this? . . . We’re having some hot weather. Get over it.

Yes, sir. Don’t want to be hot, America? Then don’t wear blue jeans, either.

[Reuters]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 206 comments }

nounverb911 July 9, 2012 at 7:34 pm

If DC gets buried by a blizzard on January 20th, that will prove there is no global warming.

deanbooth July 9, 2012 at 10:02 pm

So, Romney gives his inaugural speech without a coat, dies of pneumonia in a month, and Paul Ryan becomes president. Which will prove there is no God.

Terry July 10, 2012 at 8:04 am

No, Michele Bachmann will be his running mate. Just so she can stand next to him at events and make him look socially adept and well adjusted in comparison.

edgydrifter July 9, 2012 at 7:36 pm

I saw a condor once, so clearly they aren't endangered.

nounverb911 July 9, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Was it in "Three Days of the Condor"?

OzoneTom July 9, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Reminds me of one of my own state's thankfully-late representatives.

First, there was her clumsy remark that environmentalists are unduly alarmist about a shortage of salmon. Store shelves, Chenoweth proclaimed, are stocked with cans of salmon.

Crank_Tango July 9, 2012 at 10:48 pm

I banged a lesbian once (or many times!) so clearly, teh ghey is a choice. What were we talking about again?

nounverb911 July 9, 2012 at 7:36 pm

"I grew up in central Illinois in a house that had air conditioning."
Snob.

finallyhappy July 10, 2012 at 6:52 am

Seriously, Will is my age and we didn't have an air conditioner until I was 16- and only one small unit in one room. We sweated like real americans

DocChaos July 10, 2012 at 10:17 am

Will is 18 years older than me, and I grew up in the midwest without AC until I was 14 – or a color TV for that matter.

Of course, my parents were Luddites, a midwestern religious sect that shuns new technology until they can afford it.

redarmyzombie July 11, 2012 at 1:18 am

Air conditioning? Explain this new concept to me.

randcoolcatdaddy July 9, 2012 at 7:37 pm

"I grew up in central Illinois in a house that had air conditioning."

I didn't realize air conditioning was invented during the Hoover administration.

Vecchiojohn July 9, 2012 at 8:46 pm

What he meant was, we hired colored people to fan us.

Barrelhse July 9, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Me too- I thought the Hoover admin. was all about vacuum cleaners.

Terry July 10, 2012 at 8:08 am

It didn't reach houses where I lived until the early to mid 70's. We'd go to the movies or walking around stores to enjoy AC.

When I was a kid, oh so many decades ago now, people in the DC area used to sit out on their porches or stoops until fairly late at night hoping to catch a breeze before trying to go to sleep. Lots of chatting among neighbors, but occasionally the heat would make tempers flare. I grew up in a working class 'burb of DC, but was in town one hot evening and saw two otherwise reasonable men get into a fight in the middle of a road in front of old brick rowhouses. Their weapons? One had a spoon and one had a fork. Very bizarre. The heat will do stuff like that to you.

gvvt July 10, 2012 at 8:16 am

Moi aussi. Up in Milwaukee we used to dream of the posh life south of the border.

Callyson July 9, 2012 at 7:37 pm

We’re having some hot weather. Get over it.

Let's see George Will say this to the relatives of the olds and the others who died from heat – related causes…

"Hot" is what we are experiencing in Los Angeles currently. What was going on back in PA last week was fucking hell on earth for anyone without A/C, especially the elderly, who, as any real health care professional will tell anyone in the reality based community, are particularly susceptible to health issues when the temperature rises so dramatically…

Asshole.

gvvt July 10, 2012 at 8:18 am

Let them eat ice cream

Beowoof July 9, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Well now Jebus will be back before things get too warm and take us believers all to a nicer place and all those non-believers left behind, just the hot hell the republicans and their ilk left behind.

Hammiepants July 9, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Thanks for making me think about the space between Chris Christie's thighs. I will be over here flossing my brain with industrial gauge wire and never having sex again.

MissTaken July 9, 2012 at 7:50 pm

An Incontinent Truth

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 9, 2012 at 7:58 pm

If a band were to use that mental image as an inspiration for their name then they'd be called "Flopsweat Perineum"

Negropolis July 10, 2012 at 12:22 am

Christie shouldn't be allowed to use his legs during a drought.

shelwood46 July 10, 2012 at 2:02 am

If it makes you feel any better, in reality, there is absolutely no space between Chris Christie's thighs. None. (Trust me, I live in New Jersey.)

Negropolis July 10, 2012 at 7:10 am

Which kind of makes sense seeing as how their isn't much space between Newark and Camden, or anywhere and anywhere else in New Jersey for that matter.

Designer_Radio July 10, 2012 at 7:24 am

Space between Chris Christie's thighs is a mathematical impossibility.

Terry July 10, 2012 at 8:10 am

With all the heat, yeast, and oil in there, he may be creating bread down there.

edgydrifter July 9, 2012 at 7:40 pm

The air-conditioning in George Will's boyhood home was the side benefit of the icy glares his parents cast at each other over the dinner table. George's inability to throw a baseball was a delicate subject in the Will house.

coolhandnuke July 9, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Lil Georgie was always the last boy selected (or stuck with) when choosing the teams in his formative years. He still burns over those perceived injustices and has been taking it out on the freedom-of-choicers and southpaws ever since.

Negropolis July 10, 2012 at 12:23 am

The air-conditioning in George Will's boyhood home was the side benefit of the icy glares his parents cast at each other over the dinner table.

Oh, that was good, most good.

JackObin July 9, 2012 at 7:42 pm

The hell with science, this is America. For true insight, let's all listen to what Pugsly Limbaugh has to say.

Negropolis July 10, 2012 at 12:24 am

I think we should go back to the Greeks and start divining from entrails.

redarmyzombie July 11, 2012 at 1:21 am

Never trust a Harkonnen.

MLHencken July 9, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Fuck you George Will. Fuck your stupid haircut, fuck your parents, fuck your air-conditioner and most of all fuck your Mickey Mantle fetishism.

coolhandnuke July 9, 2012 at 7:50 pm

…And sit in the fucking bleachers just once instead of the AC-cooled Press Box so I can taunt you and toss discarded peanut shells in your "hair."

The Mantle fetish extends to Cal Ripken Jr. He's prolly fixed on Bryce Harper now

sullivanst July 9, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Is the dickens hotter before or after it's been smashed out of the saltines?

I'm guessing after.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 9, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Whereas in Britain some places got a month's worth of rain in a 24-hour period.

Climate change is nonsense though. That bunt with glasses said so.

bobbert July 9, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Dozy bunt.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 9, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Utter bunt.

MrFizzy July 10, 2012 at 9:04 am

The reason that conservatives say climate change doesn't exist is because Al Gore says it does.

Biff July 10, 2012 at 9:24 am

Case in point: Silverstone F1 practice and qualifying.

chascates July 9, 2012 at 7:46 pm

I thought the hot weather was God's way of telling the world he didn't like Obamacare.

PsycWench July 9, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Possibly the "you-deserved-that-natural-disaster" argument was found wanting after the Colorado Springs fires.

Barrelhse July 9, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Apparently Colorado Springs is quite the Peyton Place.

Negropolis July 10, 2012 at 12:27 am

No shit. The Air Force Academy damn-near got in the way of the fire, and you've heard nothing about the sins of Colorado Weird…err…Springs.

Terry July 10, 2012 at 8:11 am

It was aimed at the Air Force Academy for their not fully persecuting the cadets who aren't evangelical Christians.

Biff July 10, 2012 at 9:25 am

That was payback for laying off 39 of their firefighters, because who needs firefighters?

not that Radio July 10, 2012 at 12:39 am

He's just hugging us a little closer, so He can stick a shiv in our kidneys.

Negropolis July 10, 2012 at 7:07 am

That's how you know he likes us. He only beats us because he cares so very much. If we would just cook his dinner…errr…burnt offerings the way he liked, he wouldn't have to do this. See what you made him do?

mavenmaven July 9, 2012 at 7:46 pm

"I'm an ornery old man and my house smells like piss. Get over it"

Not_So_Much July 9, 2012 at 7:47 pm

Forecast for the bovine-like population here in my Red State calls for ongoing Swamp-ass with a 85% chance of Stank and Irritability.

Fairtackle July 9, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Every state except Washington in the contiguous United States had warmer-than-average temperatures for the June 2011-June 2012 period.

(sigh)

probably because of the little black raincloud over my head that keeps following me around.

emmelemm July 9, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Awwww. I, for one, am happier than a pig in poop to live in the NW and *not* be hotter than usual.

mormos July 9, 2012 at 8:19 pm

ugh, we're experiencing record breaking triple digit heat here in the southwest; usually that really isn't too bad since it's so dry, but it's monsoon season so now it's a 103 and humid as shit.

not that Radio July 9, 2012 at 9:39 pm

We had 105F a week ago, but monsoons brought it down to a delightful 85. You must live in some aberrant part of the southwest. Like Arizona. Or Texas.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 9, 2012 at 8:21 pm

The grey of May and June were annoying, but right now, everything is just perfect. What else can you ask for.

And, as I remember, you are hotter than usual.

emmelemm July 9, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Aw, thank you.

Unfortunately, I cannot declare it to be perfect unless it is under 75 degrees and I am in the shade. Today did not qualify. Although it didn't send me hurtling into the walk-in freezer with my aspirin bottle, so that's something.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 9, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Well, down here on the water front, there has been a nice breeze when I was out, and it wasn't too muggy, so I'm not complaining. I always figure that perfect is 74 with a slight breeze. Really can't be beat.

viennawoods13 July 9, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Under 75, in the shade, and a pleasant breeze.

Fairtackle July 9, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Oh I am not complaining. I start getting anxiety attacks if it goes for more than a couple weeks without raining.

emmelemm July 9, 2012 at 9:03 pm

I hear ya. When I went off to college in the big wide world and met people from the actual Southwest, it was the first time I had ever seriously contemplated the wide variety of climates represented in our great nation. It led me to the following question:

Fucking Deserts. How do they work?

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 10, 2012 at 3:47 am

Deserts get hot, Deserts get dry. Who can explain that?

Negropolis July 10, 2012 at 12:29 am

Same here. It hasn't really rained here in my part of Michigan in months, and the grass is just shot. If I wanted to live where grass is this brown, I'd move to Texas. Hell, we had grass fires a few miles from where I live. I've never heard of that.

Vecchiojohn July 10, 2012 at 9:01 am

But the grass is still the right height, right?

weejee July 9, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Mrs. weejee and I heartily concur, emmelemm.

emmelemm July 9, 2012 at 9:06 pm

I give thanks to my Scottish/Irish/Scandinavian forefathers for the good sense to settle in the Northwest.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 9, 2012 at 9:05 pm

I like the rain. It's a good excuse not to go jogging. Although being too hot out is a good excuse to.

OldWhiteLies July 9, 2012 at 10:21 pm

I especially like it to rain torrentially just before the Schutts and the McSumpthinOrOthers decide to start shooting bottle rockets at each others' houses and properties, both nestled in amongst the trees; all while calling it wholesum patriot-holiday-themed entertainment.

(They just paint over the myriad scorch marks every year and laugh it off.) Funny thing is, if one or the others' house actually caught fire, the other family would be the first to go over to help put it out. This bloody holiday just seems to cause some aberration of faltered mental synapses, such that cause and effect becomes disconnected.

Spurning Beer July 9, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Now, what will happen if the South and the Southwest become uninhabitable because of the high temperatures, tornadoes, hurricanes, and dust storms? Will there be an exodus from the Sunbelt up to the Rust Belt and the Salmon Belt and the Chowder Belt? Will the newcomers adjust their position in the culture wars accordingly?

I would like to see that.

Vecchiojohn July 9, 2012 at 8:50 pm

I say we start building the dang fence now.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 9, 2012 at 9:06 pm

We need to build a danged fence around them!

HistoriCat July 9, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Will the newcomers adjust their position in the culture wars accordingly?

No, just spread their poisonous, ignorant hatred around – as if they were the nation's cancer.

Barrelhse July 9, 2012 at 9:52 pm

We didn't sign the land-mine treaty, right?

radio-of-owls July 9, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Oh now that is just perfect! Brav-fucking-o!!

radio-of-owls July 9, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Bubba, do you take this man Cletus to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Ah doo.

Negropolis July 10, 2012 at 12:31 am

Draft me, now. I'll be waiting on the banks of the Ohio. Meet me in Cincinnati.

BTW, they'll get our Great Lakes when they drain it from our cold, rusty buckets.

Chichikovovich July 10, 2012 at 5:10 am

At least those government-hating rugged individualists will be able to hold out longer than they otherwise could have, thanks to the Federally subsidized tornado insurance, hurricane insurance, and soon to be introduced dust storm insurance and high temperatures insurance.

not that Radio July 10, 2012 at 8:01 am

"Ah'm haht. Where'z mah moneh?"

Terry July 10, 2012 at 8:12 am

I say we should direct all the refugees to the States that elected tea baggers to office.

Jus_Wonderin July 10, 2012 at 8:52 am

I have a Disco Belt.

elgin_pelican July 10, 2012 at 2:45 pm

"Now, what will happen if the South and the Southwest become uninhabitable because of the high temperatures, tornadoes, hurricanes, and dust storms?"
It'll be a relief. Right now they're uninhabitable because of officious shit-for-brains politicians.

Angry_Marmot July 9, 2012 at 7:55 pm

He told me he was very lonesome
And no one cared if he lived or died
The little white cloud that cried

drshapi July 9, 2012 at 7:55 pm

FALSE, there is no space between Chris Christie's thighs.

Soylent Green July 9, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Plagiarized from Dire Straits With Love (ahemahem):
Let's hear it for the dolphins. Let's here it for the trees.
Ain't runnin' out of nothin' in my deep freeze.

Soylent Green July 9, 2012 at 8:14 pm

I gotta do some more George Will Sings Dire Straits (mimimi)!
Now don't talk to me about the polar bear.
Don't talk to me about the ozone layer.
Ain't much of anything these days, even the air.
They're running out of RINO's – what do I care?

Pragmatist2 July 9, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Libtards, answer this one as a comparison with your crazy "Global Warming":
If 97% of the world's PhD astronomers said a comet was going to destroy the Earth, but 30,000 people claiming to have a B.S. degree without any proof that they did signed a petition on the internet saying they didn't think it would, who would you believe?
I rest my case. Oh, and Obama wear born in Kenya.

Spurning Beer July 9, 2012 at 8:09 pm

B.S. degree? Please. What a snob.

GED or Associate's Degree from a bible college max. You don't need a climatologist to know which way the wind blows.

shortsandpants July 9, 2012 at 8:57 pm

I only trust B.A.s in Philosophy regarding this "climate change" hub-bub. And generalizations just an invalid as the one you make "on either side of the debate," whatever that means, are very full of interesting information I can disregard. Cool man, THX FER THE SCIENCE!

finallyhappy July 10, 2012 at 6:55 am

yeah -seriously- BS degrees(get it?)

superdave July 10, 2012 at 9:09 am

And if Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! Quod erat demonstrandum.

mrblifil July 9, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Guess the folks still without power in West Virginia can just go suck it. I mean c'mon! 52 dead folks and a wide swath of destruction causing all this sturm and drang? Looks like some folks need to grow a pair, and not just the ones with vaginas. Goddamit you morons! It's just "summer."

SorosBot July 9, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Who cares what the evidence tells us; my gut says that the Earth is flat, so I'm not listening to what no scientists say!

Spurning Beer July 9, 2012 at 8:10 pm

gut + Holy Scripture > science

Negropolis July 10, 2012 at 12:33 am

'Tis truly the land of dragons beyond the edge, the Chinese were smart enough to know this. That is why they built that danged fence-wall. For you round-earthers, it will be too late.

Fairtackle July 9, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Yikes, I read that Will article and am now having fantasies of sitting on a horse with a wide brimmed hat and shotgun while a manacled George Will breaks rocks in the hot sun.

OldWhiteLies July 9, 2012 at 8:25 pm

… with his head.

weejee July 9, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Rock abuse!

BoatOfVelociraptors July 9, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Head banging is never rock abuse.

Negropolis July 10, 2012 at 12:35 am

I actually laughed out loud at that one. lol

Barrelhse July 9, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Make him sing work songs, too.

Chichikovovich July 10, 2012 at 5:13 am

"He fought the law, and the law won."

Somehow the Bobby Fuller Five classic works just as well if we're talking about laws of nature.

Terry July 10, 2012 at 8:13 am

Not just breaking rocks. Send him to a salt mine.

friendlyskies July 9, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Cue: Rick Perry publicly praying for cooler weather, and in November announcing that the prayers worked and it's proof he would have been Jesus' choice for President.

SorosBot July 9, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Temperature goes up, temperature goes down; you can't explain that.

or

Fuckin' climates; how do they work?

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 9, 2012 at 8:22 pm

I was thinking in this case it is "Temperature goes up, temperature goes up. You can't explain that."

I'm pretty sure that is FOX News mantra.

Negropolis July 10, 2012 at 12:37 am

Well, you see, Jonny, when a country loves its dirty, domestic coal industry very much…

Jus_Wonderin July 10, 2012 at 8:53 am

….now Jonny, turn around and let me talk to your twin sister.

Blueb4sunrise July 9, 2012 at 8:07 pm

I wonder which refrigerant was used in the old Will House. Some of them were toxic and could cause brain damage.

According to Wiki: Ammonia, chloromethane , and propane before freon.
Just sayin.

OldWhiteLies July 9, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Religulousy guy telling us heathens that this is just a taste of the apocalyptic end times crap we already-damned can expect, duh, stooopid unbelievers …

In 3…2…1…

Schmannnity July 9, 2012 at 8:13 pm

I believe it was Harry Truman who said, "if you can't stand the heat, get off of the planet."

Doktor Zoom July 9, 2012 at 8:13 pm

In the GOP, the conservatives believe that there's no such thing as global warming. The moderates believe it might be real, but we should let the market figure out any solution that might be needed.

va_real July 9, 2012 at 9:34 pm

The Insurance Market is adjusting premiums & canceling policies already- these GOP-guys have their heads so far up their asses, they can't even hear their beloved markets screaming.

Texan_Bulldog July 9, 2012 at 8:19 pm

"heat worse than anything that even the space between Chris Christie’s thighs have ever encountered," Why did this make me worry that if Chris ever wore corduroy, he'd set his family jewels on fire?

Also, nothing like my RW friends on FB to help me to see that global warming is stupid because it snows somewhere.

emmelemm July 9, 2012 at 9:13 pm

And we care about Chris Christie's family jewels why? I'm sure he has already reproduced, but if such a fire were to happen, at least he'd never reproduce again.

Texan_Bulldog July 9, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Well, I did worry about the poor people standing near him if he burst into flames and he's still slightly less loathsome than say Rove or Mittens or any of the GOP from TX.

TootsStansbury July 9, 2012 at 8:19 pm

To reach the century mark used to be something special. You could feel it; just like you could feel temperatures like say "ten", you knew something messed up was going on. Now? Feh, whatevs. Records have been broken; this year and last year too. Let's keep burning those fossil fuels everyone! Just because it's liberating millions of years of carbon stows; it's got nutthin to do with our climate! Ugh these short sighted assholes are bent on destroying the whole planet for profit (it took all of my self control not to do some of this in all caps).

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 9, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Often, particularly vulgar swearing can be a useful alternative to all-caps.

TootsStansbury July 9, 2012 at 8:42 pm

OK god damn it those short sighted fuckers are destroying the whole fucking planet! Argh! The fracking and the oil sands; wrecking it all for all of us! They are actually destroying the world for their own offspring! It goes against evolution (not that a lot of these idiots believe in it) That felt good.

Still, I am a weather geek and this shit has been ridiculous; I don't even want to go outside.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 9, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Cathartic, ain't it? I'll have a go too.

These pissant fuckblintzes don't give a monkey's cock about their constituents. If they spent half the time thinking about the actual people of this country that they spend digging the shitsweat out of their dewlaps then something positive might actually happen. Holding my breath isn't an option.

No, fuck these cunts. Raping the shit out of ANWR or the California coast for short-term oil bullshit which'd take a decade to come on line is just the kind of crapulous bullshit that these bought-and-paid-for wankers like to advocate.

As for weather/climate, it's cased closed. We're fucking everything up and denialism is just that. Unless one has a reason (money) to suckle at the teat of the big polluters then there's no excuse to deny it.

Dumbedup July 10, 2012 at 9:11 am

It's like this dude: Exxon fuckin Mobil does not care about the future, they care about the right now, this quarter, and they bought the congress and bought the science to make sure they get the profits so the officers of that (and other) oil corporation can live like kings on this planet, have $1000 hour whores blow them, eat children, whatever they want to do. But the point is nobody, not your half blood president, or some U.N organization or least of all citizens, is going to fuck with their deal. Thats all you need to know about global warming.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 9, 2012 at 8:23 pm

What’s going on for 2012 is exactly what we would expect from climate change.”

Or from the Mayan calendar. . . . What is NOAA hiding?!?

Terry July 10, 2012 at 8:15 am

NOAA is staffed entirely by Mayans in disguise. There is a weekly ritual sacrifice by the old spring site in Silver Spring, Maryland.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 9, 2012 at 8:25 pm

It is amazing how something as well analysed and scientific as global warming has been reduced to a debatable question by the oil companies and Conservative blathering idiots. I'm still amazed they haven't taken on gravity yet.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 9, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Newt says that if enough of us stop believing in it, we will be able to float to the moon.

va_real July 9, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Only Newt is THAT full of hot air.

radio-of-owls July 9, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Ed Markey beat you to it.

BarackMyWorld July 9, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Gravity is just a theory.

not that Radio July 10, 2012 at 8:18 am

They prefer the term Intelligent Falling.

valthemus July 9, 2012 at 11:46 pm

"I'm still amazed they haven't taken on gravity yet."

Be amazed no more! A bunch of anti-science inquisitor wannabes were talking smack about the Higgs boson over on the Washington Post web site.

CogitoErgoSumo July 9, 2012 at 8:26 pm

This is oil. This is your planet on oil. Any questions? No? Good, pass the salt and pepper.

el_donaldo July 9, 2012 at 8:49 pm

And the balsamic vinegar. We got a salad dressing going!

glasspusher July 9, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Fuck balsamic. Bring me the red wine vinegar!

Negropolis July 10, 2012 at 12:43 am

That would actually be a great commercial. Retro.

Fairtackle July 9, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Science is dumb.

Geminisunmars July 9, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Despite the longest streak of temps over 100 EVER in Colorado and occurring in the month of June (which hardley ever spends much time in the 90s much less the 100s), my moron step-son insists it is all "cyclical". As if he knew what that means.

va_real July 9, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Cyclical= the temps go up, the temps go down- you can't explain it.

Also, too, it sometimes snows somewhere & Al Gore is fat.

not that Radio July 9, 2012 at 9:42 pm

It means he has a crush on S.E. Cupp.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 9, 2012 at 8:32 pm

I believe that Mr Will has never experienced anything hot in his lifetime.
Especially sexual hotness.

glasspusher July 9, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Sexual hotness and blue jeans often go together.

coolhandnuke July 9, 2012 at 8:36 pm

If you were to apply the analogy of baseball and global warming to George Will, by stating today's spikes in cold and hot temperatures is similar to McGwire, Sosa and Bonds using man-made performance enhancing drugs in their frenzied race to eclipse Babe Ruth's (who only used man-made alcohol and tobacco) home run record, he might listen…but facts, science, experts, evidence etc…he will ignore.

Vecchiojohn July 9, 2012 at 8:54 pm

And hot dogs.
And hookers.

Negropolis July 10, 2012 at 12:46 am

I thought baseball nuts for suckers for statistics.

M. Bouffant July 9, 2012 at 8:39 pm

If I cared, I'd direct you all to about (2:34) on this, where GW sez his house was without air conditioning. So shut up you liberal pussies, in his day there weren't no fancy air conditioning now there is & yer still bitching about a little summer!

Blueb4sunrise July 9, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Good get.

M. Bouffant July 9, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Saw a different transcript, plus realized he wouldn't be bragging about having a/c, but would be whining about what whiners young people w/ a/c are.

Blueb4sunrise July 9, 2012 at 9:04 pm

The first time I watched I didn't hear 'without', but listened again. If the player or download is a little hinky, it could be missed.

Doesn't make GW any less of an ass, but in any case,
I suggest that Newell be spanked.

Negropolis July 10, 2012 at 12:50 am

Thanks for finding this. It certainly makes more sense that he said this and not "with".

finallyhappy July 10, 2012 at 6:58 am

ok- but I still hate George Will and his pretentious BS

Negropolis July 10, 2012 at 7:13 am

Oh, no, don't get me wrong; this doesn't change the meaning of what he said, at all.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 9, 2012 at 8:40 pm

It's hot in the summer. This disproves climate change.
It's cold in the winter. This disproves climate change.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present George Will, Intellectual and Journalist.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 9, 2012 at 8:52 pm

George Will is not a stupid man. He read PPE at Magdalen College Oxford, and later received a PhD from Princeton in Political Science.

No, George Will is that worst kind of cunt: an ideologue who sees no harm in being intellectually disingenuous in order to promulgate that favoured ideology. He doesn't even believe what he's saying himself.

To me, that's about the worst form of intellectual dishonesty.

Sentence: forced to rove sub-Saharan Africa begging for alms, his only companion being an asthmatic goat named Pepito.

va_real July 9, 2012 at 9:41 pm

What did Pepito ever do to you?

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 9, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Fucker wheezed on my Osetra. Unforgivable.

However, when George and Pepito are in the unrelenting heat of the desert and one must die to quench the thirst of the other with their sweet fluids then my money is on Pepito.

va_real July 9, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Somedays the goat will eat you, some days you eat the goat. You can't explain it…

BoatOfVelociraptors July 9, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Not that George would ever read a comment on this assfucking website, but the simplistic, succinct, and true summation of his statements on the subject would be most pithy at a party.

Barrelhse July 9, 2012 at 9:43 pm

He's wicked smaht.

el_donaldo July 9, 2012 at 8:44 pm

"I grew up in central Illinois in a house that had air conditioning. What is so unusual about this? . . ." Will continues, "Because I'm a dung beetle, from a family of dung beetles. It's very unusual for us to live in a house, much less one with air conditioning. Do you think it's unusual that a dung beetle is writing for the Washington Post? Because it's not. I'm a professional turd polisher."

emmelemm July 9, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Nice… I wasn't sure where that was going, but it was worth it in the end.

swordfis July 10, 2012 at 2:52 pm

George Will = Gregor Samsa? Now I feel bad for him.

Goonemeritus July 9, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Everyone knows German physicist Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit was a big liberal after all wasn’t Karl Marx’s also German. Clearly temperature has a liberal bias.

phlox✔ July 9, 2012 at 10:18 pm

We Need to Talk About Kelvin.

glasspusher July 9, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get instead.

va_real July 10, 2012 at 12:18 am

That is truly profound, glasspusher.

NellCote71 July 9, 2012 at 8:59 pm

I thought the hot weather was due to Obama's failed economic policies.

not that Radio July 9, 2012 at 9:43 pm

SOLYNDRA DID 7/09!!!11!

BarackMyWorld July 9, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Obama isn't working….the A/C right.

Chow Yun Flat July 9, 2012 at 9:00 pm

George Will is a dumbfuck and I have already gotten over it.

rocktonsam July 9, 2012 at 9:01 pm

the part I hate is when tee vee tells ya" not to drink alcohol when its hot and not to drink alcohol when its cold."

I hate tee vee and love alcohol no matter what.

Stevola July 10, 2012 at 1:09 am

They used to tell us to drink fluids when we had a cold. What the hell else can you drink?

barto July 9, 2012 at 9:09 pm

That George. Always a beacon of common sense. He gets paid for this, too, because it is such high quality common sense – not just your garden variety – this is extremely well researched common sense based on years of feelings and hunches.

Blueb4sunrise July 9, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Raytheon awarded $636m contract to produce Golden Penis with Four Balls
http://www.kvoa.com/news/raytheon-awarded-636m-co

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 9, 2012 at 9:15 pm

We should switch to the metric system. It will feel cooler in Celsius.

coolhandnuke July 9, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Australia has, and look they're experiencing winter-like temperatures.

viennawoods13 July 9, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Oh honey. So not true. It was over 40 with the humidex here and all I kept saying was, "FUCK it's hot!" Anything over 25 and it is too hot. Today was lovely, though, gotta say.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ July 10, 2012 at 9:30 am

An old favorite joke, from Cricket Magazine (I want to be eight again!):

An addled woman went to a bakery, and asked for an apple pie. The baker replied, "Certainly, madam. How many slices would you like… six, or eight?"

The woman thought for a moment, and then said, "Six. I'm on a diet."

pinkocommi July 9, 2012 at 9:34 pm

If God didn't want to make the planet uninhabitable for humans, he wouldn't have let us invent Hummers.

ttommyunger July 9, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Summer is definitely hot,
George Will is definitely not.

Barrelhse July 9, 2012 at 9:39 pm

George, have another bowl of milk toast.

nirrti_rachelle July 9, 2012 at 9:42 pm

I think the repubs actually want global warming to happen and that's why they don't want to do anything to stop it. If they can't be sure God throws those darn hippies in hell, they'll just make their own.

not that Radio July 9, 2012 at 9:46 pm

It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum in here, your Majesty.

Boojum July 10, 2012 at 8:31 am

And she smiled quietly to herself.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 9, 2012 at 9:49 pm

The only way to really explain climate change is by measuring trends. George Will's mentality has been trending toward the stupid. Long range forecast…. very dumb.

Antispandex July 9, 2012 at 9:59 pm

If it's hot, it isn't because the planet is warming up, but because where YOU are, the planet is warming up…go some place else. Another planet? The one George Will escaped in a space craft? Nope…blew up.

OneDollarJuana July 9, 2012 at 10:17 pm

What I have to say to George Will of "Bunts" fame is what Monty Python had to say:

"You silly bunt".

OneDollarJuana July 9, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Or should I have said "fucking asshole. Go soak your head."

coolhandnuke July 9, 2012 at 10:36 pm

The cover of "Bunts" shows Will with a Marine Corps emblem decaled to his laptop. Will has never served in any military branch nor has any of his immediate family.
As a Marine, seeing this fucking chickenhawk parade his patriotism/jingoism/fetish so prominently on his book cover and knowing how he is just itching for a war with Iran…my temperature has just raised two degrees and I want to take my clippers, grab his little melon and give him a true high and tight cut.

Vecchiojohn July 10, 2012 at 9:06 am

"a true high and tight cut"

aka, the full Romney

Negropolis July 9, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Witches and warlocks, the lot of 'em.

BarackMyWorld July 9, 2012 at 11:18 pm
imissopus July 10, 2012 at 2:01 am

Saw a story the other day that Romney told Murdoch in 2007 if he was elected he would hire McKinsey to come in and help him organize his cabinet and their departments. Which is just too horrible an idea to contemplate.

Negropolis July 10, 2012 at 12:18 am

We’re having some hot weather. Get over it.

How many people have died from this, so far, Will? Not enough for you, I'm sure of it.

Go fuck yourself.

Oh, and Central Illinois, eh? The long arm of the Confederacy. Everything I need to know about downstate I learned from the freeway between St. Louis and Terre Haute. Effin' ham, indeed.

Estproph July 10, 2012 at 10:07 am

The Giant FuckingEyesoreLitUpAllFuckingNightWithGiantSpotlightsLookAtUsWe'reSoMuchHolierThanYouAre Cross, you mean?

SayItWithWookies July 10, 2012 at 12:26 am

So George's point, apparently, is that the air-conditioned home of his youth is no cooler than the air-conditioned house he lives in now, and therefore global warming is a myth? And in fact, the domed stadium he goes to watch baseball in is much cooler than those old open-air heatboxes of yesteryear. Well — QED, as he would probably say.

DahBoner July 10, 2012 at 6:58 am

Fred Astair had but one clothing rule: If your pants be a draggin', your mind be a saggin'…

CivicHoliday July 10, 2012 at 7:39 am

Missouri broke heat records set back during the dust bowl. We had 10 days in a row that were over 100 degrees. There have been several deaths and MANY heat-related illnesses. So, yes indeed, get over it everyone. Go back to cooking breakfast on the body of that dead homeless guy at the bus stop.

Vecchiojohn July 10, 2012 at 9:10 am

Just wait til he quotes Edmund Burke on climate change. That'll shut you hippies up.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ July 10, 2012 at 9:21 am

The singlemost impressive element of cognitive dissonance related to climate change, is how we sit in air-conditioned houses and buildings and postulate that it can't be man-made…

…yet so few of those proud huffers don't question where the heat in the room went.

thatsitfortheother1 July 10, 2012 at 9:24 am

I'll take some of that heat. It's been cold and rainy in W Europe since April.

Doktor Zoom July 10, 2012 at 9:26 am

I remember seeing a question in that idiotic Marilyn Vos Savant column at least a decade ago from a reader who proposed this solution to global warming: What if we all turned our air conditioners on high and then left the windows open? Wouldn't that eventually cool down the earth?

Dildeaux July 10, 2012 at 9:29 am

Effeminate partisan hack is effeminate.

JustPixelz July 10, 2012 at 9:49 am

George Will forgot to mention a few other nuggets from his childhood:

I grew up in Indiana with a 90% top marginal tax rate. It's just money. Get over it.

I grew up in Indiana in a house with lead paint. It's just brain damage. Get over it.

I grew up in Indiana where the last Northern lynching took place in 1930. It's a mob. Get over it.

Estproph July 10, 2012 at 10:04 am

The Arctic icecap is melting at the fastest rate in recorded history. The last 3 Junes have had the highest rate of ice melting in recorded history.

It gets hot in Illinois in June? Oh. That's OK then.

emmelemm July 9, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Waterfronts are always nice.

Btw, I don't actually have a walk-in freezer. Sometimes I wish I did, though.

viennawoods13 July 9, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Dammit, you beat me to it.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 9, 2012 at 11:41 pm

I was going to ask, I just thought you were that cool. (Pun noted)

Biff July 10, 2012 at 9:30 am

Deserts also get humid as fuck. Today looks worse than yesterday, which was terrible.

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