Thank you too, Mr. Vice PresidentPresident McMuslimbot took to the podium today to introduce his new tax proposal that’s he’s had for about 10 years: extending (for one year) the “middle-class” tax cuts on all but the top two marginal income tax brackets, meaning each dollar of income above $250,000 would be taxed at rates last seen during the oppressive Bill Clinton administration. This is the greatest blow to American liberty since John Roberts & Co. destroyed all American liberty permanently by upholding the constitutionality of a $695 tax penalty two weeks ago.

We don’t want to get too hasty here about the chances that Democrats are prepared to avoid a spectacular, hilarious fuck-up this time around, but for the moment, a couple of positive signals:

  • It appears that top Democrats from all quarters actually talked to each other and planned a bit before the President came forward with this announcement. The way it typically works is that the President will say “let rate cuts on incomes above $250,000/year expire” and then half of the Democratic party will go “hey now, I’m scared about letting any tax go up” and then there’s chaos and the Republicans score a total victory. This time, however, the White House appears to have coaxed congressional leaders into supporting his plan instead of their stupid alternate versions to let rates expire on incomes above $1 million per year. (You’re still not forgiven for that, Nancy Pelosi.)
  • Jay Carney has confirmed that the President would veto any bill that extends the high-end rates. Assuming Obama doesn’t simply break this pledge, it would mean that he’s prepared to let all of the tax cuts expire if he doesn’t get what he wants, providing him the necessary leverage. It would be great if he simply said he’d never extend any tax cuts, since the Bush tax cuts as a whole were a mistake that never should have happened, but that has never been his or the Democratic party’s position, so.

Here is how this will play out: Nothing will reach the president’s desk because it is the middle of an election year and everyone is just screwing around. And then after the election there will be some kind of tax reform dongle by some president, the end.


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  • nounverb911

    Can we use their carcasses to feed the poors? (See Soylent Romney).

    • Soylent Romney is NOT people.

      • sullivanst

        Watch you don't break your teeth on the ICs.

      • Graham Cracker

        Soylent Corporations?

    • sullivanst

      I'm a vegetarian, but then I'm not exactly a poor, so yeah, sure, sharpen those carving knives if you got 'em.

    • Rotundo_

      Use them to feed pigs, they're a bit less discerning than humans and then you can make them into delightful hams and sausages and bacon for the poor folk.

      • viennawoods13

        Shades of Deadwood.

  • Come here a minute

    So are you saying we're supposed to decide who to vote for by guessing the size of their dongle?

    • Fare la Volpe

      It was good enough for Elagabalus, the little size queen.

    • PsycWench

      I hear once you go black, you never go back.

      • Negropolis

        I heard once you go Mormon, you only go for more men.

  • emmelemm

    The blows to Liberty are just coming fast and furious.

    (And I didn't even mean that as a pun!)

  • Ginger, he also forces Romney to come out and say he's for raising taxes on the middle class.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Noooo! If you do this, the rich will stop creating all the jobs that they have been creating so many of these past few years!

    • sullivanst

      With the only way to get rid of him being automatic conviction for impeachment upon presentation of evidence that he did something that wasn't asked for by the Titans of Industry.

    • SorosBot

      That money's gonna trickle down one of these decades!

      • Geminisunmars

        I'm feeling it already! That is money, right?

    • RavenRant

      How is it that these CEOs who have consistently demonstrated an addiction to insane levels of risk are suddenly paralyzed by uncertainty?

      • Because it was manageable risks they were taking, silly! This is out of their hands.

        • RavenRant

          I guess it is less risky when you have privatized profits and socialized losses. Too bad everybody doesn't get to play in that league.

    • An_Outhouse

      True story: our local cemetery has an opening for a grave digger.

      (okay, its not a true story).

      • Chichikovovich

        Well, they do have an opening for him, but he has to be dead.

        • viennawoods13

          I hear people are dying to get into those places.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    "thou shalt not tax the rich"

    It's in the bible, people. Look it up!

    • nounverb911

      Which one?

      • Chichikovovich

        You know, the one that talks about how hard it is for the camel to get through the eye of the needle, because of all the enterprise-strangling government regulation.

      • SorosBot

        Atlas Shrugged?

      • Fare la Volpe

        All of 'em, Katie.

    • I did, but I think my copy is broken. Everytime I look, it keeps saying,

      "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.

      Is there a fix for this, some sort of software patch, or will I need to buy a new copy?

      • Toomush_Infer

        Book of Mormon?…

        • I dunno, the Book of Mormon is more like the crappy DLC that you spent $40 bucks on because it features Badass Robin in story mode, but which also retroactively ruins the entire series to date, by being shitty.

        • Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢


      • I think you need a Bible Dongle.

      • RavenRant

        You can wait for Conservapedia's new translation, or just view this.

        • 12X34X

          Conservapedia: WTF?

          • RavenRant

            I regret to inform you that, yes, there is such a thing as Conservapedia, where wingnuts compile 'facts' about their alternate universe.

            And, at one time, they were threatening to generate their own, conservative, translation of the Bible. Given their attention span, this project may have fallen by the wayside. One can but hope.

          • 12X34X

            Ugh! I checked it out. More weirdly paranoid and enraged than even I could have imagined.

        • glasspusher

          That was fucking great

          • RavenRant

            Glad to introduce new people to the classics. That was written by Al Franken, by the way. The Senate's gain was comedy's loss.

  • Jus_Wonderin


  • Death by a thousand 138 million cuts.

  • Callyson

    President Barack Obama called Monday for Congress to…leave a debate on whether to extend the cuts to the rich until after the presidential election in November.

    Aw, that's one of my favorite things about Bammerz: his ability to remain optimistic…

    “Let’s not hold the vast majority of the Americans and the entire economy hostage while we debate the merits of another tax cut for the wealthy.”

    Sorry, Mr President, but we were taken for ransom by the wealthy ages ago…

  • how will they be able to afford not creating jobs?!

  • coolhandnuke

    I'll reserve judgement until our Miracle Whip–Steny Hoyer offers his recipe.

  • Can Romney renounce his citizenship to avoid taxes, and yet still run for president?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Better yet — he can change the name of his home planet to The United States of America.

      • Back in the 50s, didn't the Japanese rename a village "USA" so they could stamp things Made in USA? Maybe Romney's circuit board is similar.

        • SayItWithWookies

          That's where I got the idea from, but it turns out that's an urban legend, and Usa Japan had that name long before WWII.

          • va_real

            Is Usa near Obama?

          • SayItWithWookies

            No — Obama considers Usa an exotic destination.

          • But if George Soros and the rest had been thinking, they would have had Barack born in USA instead of Kenya, and then no problem with his birth certificate.

    • Antispandex

      Well…has anyone SEEN Mitts birth certificate?

      • va_real

        The English version mysteriously translates 'Chihuahua, Mexico' to 'Detroit, Michigan'.

      • An_Outhouse

        Flextronics has the design on file.

  • Baconzgood

    Maybe one day Dems will grow a set.

    • Or at least find a single pair they can share and toss to each other during votes.

      • anniegetyerfun

        I was pretty sure that tossing balls was already a Congressional past time? Are you telling me that that was only the Repubs?

    • Antispandex

      Well…I guess it could happen…but really, what are the odds?

  • mavenmaven

    Putting an end to bush cuts. sounds like a double entendre lurking in there somewhere.

    • ChernobylSoup

      Bushes were out by the early 90s. Any Bushes lingering around after that are terribly outdated and out of place.

      • Toomush_Infer

        actually, I'm hoping they (small b) are coming back….us oldz still like 'em…

        • Woodshedding

          Hear, hear! Bush cuts are far preferable to the barbaric, misogynestic practice of bikini waxing, any day!

          • SorosBot

            Downfist, downfist!

        • SorosBot


    • OMG! I hadn't thought about that!

      All those nail ladies who work a second shift as Brazilian waxers! Oh no! They're voting themselves into obsolescence!

  • Antispandex

    But…but…who will create the jobs when the rich are forced to use last season's Prada?

    • Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢

      …it ain't the Catholics. They're now deficit-spending, too.

  • ChernobylSoup

    But if I get a job, then a business license, then learn a trade, then win the lottery, then don't lie on my tax forms, then inherit an estate, then rob a bank, then I'm going to be in the higher bracket and why are you punishing my success?

  • mrpuma2u

    The dems are presenting a UNITED FRONT?!?!?!? This can't last, cue the inter-party turd flinging and drawing of daggers in 3, 2, 1. Nancy "the ice pick" Pelosi is again the usual suspect here. Maybe Barry O had a back room meeting with some of Eric Holder's old Chiquita dirty tricks boys around for emphasis.

  • Callyson

    “Next year, once the election is over, and things have calmed down a little bit, based on what the American people have said and how they have spoken during that election,” Congress and the person who’s president then can act accordingly, Obama said.

    I see several things wrong with this plan. I'll never be an optimist…

    • anniegetyerfun

      Well, good to see that he is really taking a stand, finally. And here people were accusing Bammers of not having a backbone!

      • Callyson

        True dat. My pessimism is based on Obama's rather quaint notion that 1. things will calm down after the election and 2. Congress will listen to what the American people have said. Wouldn't that be a nice universe…

        • anniegetyerfun

          Oh, god, did I just fail at snark? No, really, I don't think he will achieve anything. I'm 100% with your pessimism.

          • va_real

            Was that your first experience of snark fail? I will have to take lessons from you…

          • anniegetyerfun

            Probably not, but it pains me to think that I would be taken to be an optimist.

          • Geminisunmars

            Try the contact lenses.

          • va_real

            No kidding- you'd think someone could tell the diff between rose-tinted glasses & rose-tinted guns?

  • Reid has enough votes to prevent that.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Up until what hour?…

  • SoBeach

    Obama should issue a challenge to the job creators: Create five million jobs by October and you can keep your tax cut. Otherwise, STFU.

    • UnholyMoses

      You realize that you just dared them to open 500,000 more McDonald's that pay not a penny more than minimum wage, don't you?

  • Wing nut shit flinging and drama queen style freak out in… who are we kidding? It's still going over ACA.

  • JustPixelz

    Fox News finds someone to say "class warfare" about a billion times in … 3 … 2 …. But really, isn't it time the on-going class warfare has some table-are-turned drama.

    We'd like the job creators better if they, you know, created some jobs*.

    Ruh roh! Mitt may have to pay almost the same percent as the guy who puts gas in those Cadillacs.
    * jobs are created when someone buys something, not when some rich dude's off-shore bank account gets bigger. the middle class is the greatest job creator in the country.

  • StealthMuslin

    First they came for each dollar of income above $250,000 and I said nothing because… Come on, who the hell can't keep it together on 250 large?
    You're filthy, stinking rich, you bastards! Sack up!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Hell, I'd be willing to fork out an extra couple percent, especially if it pissed off the righties and the rich people.

    • finallyhappy

      give me $250,000 and I'll pay more, hell,give me 200 K and I'll do it(even further downward negotiation is possible)

  • edgydrifter

    1) Democrats open with "let's have a modest and temporary increase to the top tax rate."
    2) Republicans counter with "let's privatize Social Security and eliminate all capital gains taxes."
    3) Blue-dog Dems freak out and offer a compromise. The compromise privatizes Social Security, eliminates all capital gains and inheritance taxes, and defunds the EPA.
    4) The compromise bill is amended to restore direct-payment farm subsidies and includes $380 million for the creation of a gelatin-awareness and promotion program to be based in Kansas City, MO.
    5) President signs bill into law, hails occasion as a "great day for bipartisanship."

    • Baconzgood

      You should teach 6th grade Civics.

    • Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢

      Goddamn Jell-o lobby… meanwhile, my Pop-sicle appropriations bill is still in fucking committee…

  • ttommyunger

    This is a cynical political ploy to force the Repugs to further alienate the middle class by holding out for Millionaire Tax Cuts along with the Package, which they will do. Kudos, Barry.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "during the oppressive Bill Clinton administration"

    Things really sucked back then.

    • mavenmaven

      And there's that blue dress to prove it!

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      It's was awful

      During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.

      On the economic side, Bush vowed to bring back economic stagnation by implementing substantial tax cuts, which would lead to a recession, which would necessitate a tax hike, which would lead to a drop in consumer spending, which would lead to layoffs, which would deepen the recession even further.

      • anniegetyerfun

        That was the best and worst article of all time. The best because it was true, and the worst because it was true. And prophetic.

      • RavenRant

        That was extraordinarily prescient, wasn't it?

        • My thoughts exactly. Whoever wrote that must be taking that pill from "Limitless".

  • SorosBot

    What assault on freedom will Obama take next, asking the rich, corporations and Mitt Romney to actually pay taxes on their money illegally held in the Cayman Islands to dodge the IRS?

    • sati_demise


    • Helmets during dodgeball games.

  • Barb

    Since the wealthiest 1% want to be called "job creators" let's tie their tax cuts to the number and quality of American jobs they create. Much better than giving them money and then hoping they share their prosperity.

  • emmelemm

    "President McMuslimbot"

    Soon to be replaced by President McMormonbot.


  • Don't call it a Tax, call it a "VIP Entrance Fee."

    • This is a great idea.

    • Geminisunmars

      They will line up to pay it.

  • because it is the middle of an election year and everyone is just screwing around.

    I find I must disagree with the inference that this ever stops. The just screwing around bit is a constant. What changes are the lengths to which they go attempting to disguise said screwing.

  • UnholyMoses


    Fox Not Really News told me so …

  • Nostrildamus

    Dibs on Trump's golden shower fixtures.

    • You, um, might want to rephrase that…

      • Nostrildamus

        Dibs on Marla?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Woo-hoo — I certainly hope President Obama sticks to his word, as everyone knows that when you promise retribution you'll only encourage your adversaries if you don't follow through with it.

    And that means he should veto a tax increase for rich bastards even if it raises my taxes too — as I've mentioned before, I didn't notice the goddamn Dubya tax cuts when they were implemented, so I sure won't notice the increase when they're killed.

    • SorosBot

      "he should veto a tax increase for rich bastards even if it raises my taxes too"

      But what he's promising to veto is the lack of a tax increase for the rich bastards.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Aargh — that's what I meant, of course.

  • sbj1964

    Republicans are against all Tax increases! Unless they are for the middle class.Protect the rich is their Prime directive.The GOP (GREEDY ONE PERCENT)

  • taylormattd

    Please don't cite to Blackface Jane's Firedoglake. Kthx.

  • prommie

    Oh well. I always do brag that I don't mind paying my taxes.

  • TootsStansbury

    Damn if I hear that damp, orange barfly utter the phrase "jawb creators" on the news tonight I'll throw a shoe at the teevee I will.

    • Negropolis


  • Goonemeritus

    Republican counter proposal will involve holding a gun to the head of a kitten.

  • Chichikovovich

    This is encouraging – I've been saying to everyone who rabbits on to me about Romney's business experience, and executive experience as governor, and blah blah that the best training to be president is experience being president – and Obama has 3.5 years of that! Compared to Romney's 0.

    But I think this is one place where you can see that some experience has paid off. (I hope.) At the outset Obama really believed that compromise could be struck. He didn't learn the lesson of the pumpkin-shooting Clinton years that the mere idea of a Democratic president drives the present-day Republican insane. They have made it clear that they have only one goal and that is total annihilation of their perceived Democratic enemies, by any means necessary. Finally Obama and his people have realized that you have to strike a position and hold it, to make it clear what you stand for.

    Perhaps the Congress as well. Look at the deficit in likely voter support McCaskill is facing in Missouri (last I looked). Perhaps the Blue Dogs are realizing the wisdom of Harry Truman's words: "If you give 'em a choice between a Republican and a Republican, they'll choose the Republican every time." The only way to survive is to give people a real choice. That's not guaranteed to work, of course – they may lose by being Democrats. But presenting yourself as just like your opponent except not in quite as much of a hurry is a sure road to disaster. So they have an incentive to come together to fix a united front against an implacable opponent.

    But maybe I'm overoptimistic. Touched by the moon's sunny beams. I'm posting from the newly deSarkofied France, where everything seems happy. The weather is even quite cool. That may have left me intoxicated.

    • finallyhappy

      I'll be there later this week!

  • It's a reasonable proposal, but I'd like to see it fried in Crisco with some Miracle Whip on top.

  • Estproph

    How many Biggest Tax Increases In History are we supposed to put up with, anyway?

  • SorosBot

    But I don' wanna' haveta pay taxes on those lott'ry winnins' I'ma gonna get one'a these days!

  • pinkocommi

    Anything that pisses Grover Norquist off is all right by me.

  • PubOption

    If that's the Montauk Monster in the picture, it's attached to the wrong article.

  • Jadetiger79

    Between the ACA murderous outrage PLUS this PLUS that whole Europe LIBOR thing, this should prove to be an interesting next few months.

  • Romney: "That's not a tax, it's a penalty for success!"

  • extreme_left

    .. can't be long to we invade Finland now.

  • Negropolis

    I seem to remeber this time that we were going to let all of the rates expire. I see he's built a mechanism into the plan so that this could come into play, so I'm guess I'm happy about that.

  • DahBoner

    What happened to Jobs, jobs, jobs????

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