and we thought the secret was lardSF Weekly’s Crap Archivist may have found his greatest treasure yet: a 1980 Kansas City Royals cookbook, before Ol’ Porkbutt had conquered the world and was still a lowly Royals front office “director of group sales.”

We will let the Crap Archivist talk you through it:

The recipe is a manly one that involves frying in Crisco, wolfing down chicken, and smashing the dickens from saltines — although I can’t let the opportunity pass to point out that with greater regulations and a stronger FDA Americans might not have dickens in their crackers to begin with.

But is there more? There is always more. Here is Ol’ Snurfles’ recipe for saccharine-sweetened hot cocoa, which not only sounds absolutely delicious, but after his Crisco Chicken is just like washing down a dozen Krispy Kremes with a diet Coke.



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