HI THERE. Have you not read anything gross yet today? Would you like to? That is excellent, because there is not a single word of this story that is not THE WORST: two people were arrested for resisting arrest while trying to crash a Romney fundraiser at the East Hamptons manse of Ron Perelman, chairman of Revlon and the real-life dude who in fact did not end up marrying Carrie (after leaving her at the altar) and proving his love for her by buying her a closet. UPDATE: We are informed by a commenter who is ashamed to know this that Ron Perelman was NOT in fact the real-life Carrie’s Mr. Big. This makes almost all of this post completely wrong, and even stupider!
Bored reporters have treated this story as the Bourne Identity-level spy caper it so obviously is, since the dudes tried to sail past a police line to get Mr. Big’s house. (What, no zipline?)
In a caper that seemed made for the movies, two protesters were arrested Sunday after authorities said they tried to sail across a pond to crash a tony Mitt Romney fundraiser and hit a police boat. [...]
East Hampton Village authorities said David Fink and Simon Kinsella attempted to sail across the police line, ignoring orders from East Hampton Marine Patrol, and “subsequently struck” the police boat.
Police said one of the men attempted to flee by swimming to shore; he was arrested on the beach. The other man was taken into custody from the boat.
They were arrested on suspicion of resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and obstructing government administration.
In related news! Are you a police faced with the annoying prospect of wanting real bad to arrest someone for something, but haven’t figured out that you might arrest them for, say, crashing into a police boat? That is very sad. Have you considered arresting them for resisting arrest? PROBLEM SOLVED. [LAT]
{ 140 comments }
East Hampton doesn't have drones yet??? How quaint!
East Hampton is FULL of drones, as are all wealthy enclaves.
The neighbors complained about the noise
Fear of collateral damage. Do you have any idea how hard it is to replace a good yacht these days?
Too buzzy.
Non story says what?
Ron Perelman was great in Alien Resurrection
IKR???
Serf's up!
I suspect they might not like being arrested. ARREST THEM!
What do Mr.Big and Mitt have in common? They both like high-maintenance horses.
I see what you did there.
I find SJP attractive. I've always found nerdy, scrawny girls with prominent noses desirable. It's a fetish, I guess.
Why the long face?
Born that way.
Mitt's probably dance better.
Can someone explain this Mr. Big reference for us menfolk?
The character. Hung like, well, me.
Mr Light Switch?
Hey, at least mine gets all the way up, unlike you, Dimmer Switch.
hey…call me! *wink*
I thought Mr Big was one of those hair bands that came in on the tail end of the whole hair band thing back about 20 years ago.
Heart with no heart?
In the Sex and the City telenovelas, it refer's to the main character's on again, off again stuntcock.
I've never seen it, but I've picked up the basic idea from listening to Chichikovna's conversations with her friends. As I understand it there was a show popular among the distaff side, called Sax and La Cité about four women (jazz students, one assumes) in New York, or maybe it was a French port city, because I often heard Brest mentioned in connection with it. Mr. Big was a love interest (so-called, I take it because of his big closets) said to be based on some New York (or Bordeaux, Le Havre,…) famous guy. Carrie was the central character, who liked to set things on fire with her mind.
And there was Samantha, who had sex by twinkling her nose, Charlotte, a preppy, upbeat spider who sounded just like Debbie Reynolds and married a Jew, and the Red Headed One. I think she was called Eeyore.
Which one was the mannequin that would only come to life when Andrew McCarthy was alone?
Rob Lowe?
Carrie: liked sex if it meant that she could then write about it in an irritatingly pseudo-philosophical style. I have FB friend who writes like her. I have blocked her. Charlotte: liked sex if it could lead to a big wedding. Samantha: liked sex as long as it did not lead to a wedding. Miranda: liked sex with guys… hey wait. No she didn't. I like Cynthia Nixon but there was never sexual chemistry between her and any guy on the show.
Yes, i watched it. In reruns. Never saw any of the movies. Hijinks in Dubai? Please.
Ugh…he was the rich guy in Sex and the City that Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) married, instead of the sexy furniture maker who was a much better guy all around. Which I guess makes Carrie a good symbol of today's female Republicans, in an odd way…
Do Romney fundraisers not have their own Navies, what is the world coming to when the rich have to rely on the local constabulary.
Whoa now, there were two other charges besides resisting arrest. Disorderly conduct and… obstructing government administration? Run that last one by me again?
They obstructed the administration of the Illuminati Trilateral Commission.
There were all those rich people there. Oh – you thought they meant an elected body type of government didn't you? How quaint.
When they rammed the boat, one of the officers spilled coffee on a TZ – 301.3 A form that he was filling out, to request a new locker in the change room.
You'd think there'd be some Congress members in prison or something.
Something to do with Obamacare. Either that, or cutting in line at the DMV.
Cue the Mission:Impossible theme…
The officers weren't thinking clearly. Since a 0.001 % er was the target, "piracy on the high seas" is the appropriate charge. Ship 'em to Gitmo just to be safe.
Ron Galotti was the model for Mr. Big, not Ron Perelman, and yes, I have the requisite amount of shame for knowing this.
Meanwhile, as American media breathlessly reports on this non-event, the President of Mexico just cold kills people right and left and seems to get a pass?
Si
Where were the drones? Arizona?
Jesus, people–have you learned nothing from Greenpeace activities?
Romney should have sent special forces to sink their boats preemptively?
Ramming speed!
"Smithers. release the hounds".
Perhaps in this case it should be "Release the sharks."
It's still more entertaining than Water World.
"suspicion of resisting arrest,"
What. The. Fuck.
That struck me too. How can you tell if someone is resisting arrest? Aren't we all, right this minute, resisting arrest?
Yes and don't you forget it.
His eyes were darting back and forth.
EYE CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS.
Well, I mean, it's possible they thought it was one big game of freeze tag or something.
Used to be the only people that got arrested for trying to swim away from being arrested were Messcans.
The appropriate thing would be to take them to a quiet room. And shoot them.
If life were a 3 Stooges episode, this would have ended with a pie fight.
It's an economic pie fight. Class warfare!
Wow, I didn't even notice any commotion at all!
"Hey guys, lets sail across a pond in a fucking yacht and crash Mitt's AWESOME party."
Sounds like some of Romney's staffers went all "John Belushi' on him.
Who's Romboto going to hang out with next? The Bluths?
Lets face it Manchu, the Bluths (the ones who haven't been caught in anything more violent than fixing interest rates) are his base.
He already had a fundraiser at Lucille's place
Ugh. The BB Club. Bunch of want-ta-be yacht people that are really only armchair sailors. Nouveau riche assholes.
I thought sailboats had the right of way over power boats. Rules-of-the-road fail for the police, there.
If a sailboat can go on it, we call it a lake. Apparently the rich have better ponds than the rest of us.
In New England I believe they are "ponds" until they get to be the size of Lake Champlain.
It's called a pond because it outlets to the ocean and is really more a flood plain than anything else, altho it never dries up. It's very shallow (hence the sailboat). If anything, it ought to be called a lagoon, but that wouldn't work for the residents, who include Steven Spielberg and the old Bouvier clan.
So Ellen Barkin is who, exactly, in this alternate HBO lady-world? Is she only in the prequel, as Someone née Big?
Regardless, how were the canapés? [To be read in lockjawed Jane Hathaway/either Howell voice.]
Ellen Barkin played Penny Priddy in The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension
THAT was an awesome film.
All the Lectoids got their Social Security cards in Grover's Mill, NJ – eerily like all the 9/11 hijackers got their driver's licenses in NJ DMV's.
So Wonkette can have a photograph of a man sleeping with a horse but I can't say r*t*rd? UNFAIR!
They aren't skullfucking, so it's all good.
In New York aren't lakes public property? That said, when it comes to the lawz can't you just make shit up as long as your are creative about it?? Like the Supremes so often do.
4. "Navigable waters of the state" shall mean all lakes, rivers, streams and waters within the boundaries of the state and not privately owned, which are navigable in fact or upon which vessels are operated, except all tidewaters bordering on and lying within the boundaries of Nassau and Suffolk counties.
So no, and no particularly to this case. Georgica Pond is owned by an East Hampton trust.
"In a caper that seemed made for the movies"
Finally! A Rob Schneider / Carrot Top action flick.
He left Carrie at the alter? That poor woman…first pig's blood and now this?!
Is pig's blood a Jewish curse or some new kind of botox???
Can it be both?
Mitt raised $109 million last weekend, from 6 guys( not intended to be a factual statement). The new Ownership Society means that the owners are about to reassert their ownership. Suck on it you 99.9999%ers (but this is).
So the Shrub was right about that?
6 of us! 6 of us! 6 of us!
I'm resisting arrest 24/7.
I refuse to make a Sarah Jessica Parker joke here, that would be like shooting horses in a barrel.
Fish! I meant to say fish.
Lovey:
I saw "LA Story" and I'm going to call Sarah Jessica Parker libel!
Excellent movie, cartwheels and all!
SanDeE*
(Wasn't Olivia Newton John "Sandy" in "Grease?")
IMDB says you are correct.
And of course the real hero of LA Story was the freeway sign.
Leave the horse-faced donkey witch aloooooone!
My thoughts exactly. Maybe just me, but I also don't think of a pond having a "shore". Just an "edge".
Muck, and some cattails.
Let me be the first one to say: F U Billy Sheehan and your scalloped fretboard.
"They were arrested on suspicion of resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and obstructing government administration."
Mitch McConnell and John Boehner were there?
Any sane person would be trying their best to get away from that collection of scum (that's what always rises to the top, right?). They should be incarcerated for their own safety.
I am coming to you. You will explode in a couple of minutes.
I have a bucket for your chunks.
Laugh while you can, Filipino monkeyboy!
Is anybody out there not having a good time?
Oh. I thought you were talking about this Mr. Big.
Arrest them for not sailing with their collars turned up!!!!
More effective would have been to bus in hungry homeless people and leave them at the entrance to beg for food.
Wow, that's an incredible cruel thought. I'll have to write that down and save it.
Oh please. The Brooks Brothers rioters look homeless to these people.
So we split the difference and bus in some Occupy protestors.
It should Krugman Monday every day as Paulie explains the avarice guided differences between George Rmoney and Mitt Rmoney. What is amazing is graph 10 where a brief summary of Mitt's IRA information is enclosed. Assuming the Mittbot contributed the maximum amount to IRA's for both him and wife for the entire term of their existence, his earnings amount to more than 8,500% which is not, repeat NOT, factored over the full term and just P plus I / P*100.
This should only be discussed in a quiet room.
From which all sharp objects have been removed.
Wasn't Ron Perelman The Beast in "Beauty & The Beast?"
I always thought instead of hiding out in the sewers of New York City he should have been playing bass in a rock band.
Also, Clay Morrow.
Wait, does this mean I have to start disliking Chris Noth? Because the few times a decade I think of him, he seems like an OK guy.
And they all caught the first "Hampton Jitney" this morning so they could get to their jobs on time. It's a fine, seasonably cool day in NYC. Great day to do the laundry and hang the money out to dry. Gives it that fresh USMinty smell.
When I first came to San Francisco the St. Francis Hotel washed the coins given out in change. The money-washer's name was Arnold Batlinger. All bills were Mint-new. Also.
Fairmont, also. Now I heard it is a lux, condo high rise.
and “subsequently struck” the police boat
Probably and subsequently "struck” the police boat is closer to the truth.
Can we send Snake Plissken in to rescue them from the clutches of "The Douche"?
"Have you considered arresting them for resisting arrest? "
Actually, they did, its in the last sentence of the part you quoted. Long weekend?
The police are constantly frustrated when people "get away" with their crimes as a result of the "technicality" that they didn't do anything illegal. If it happens too often, the police will go to the legislature and seek a new "tool" to combat crime, said "tool" being some new criminal offense that they can charge people with, which will prevent people from "getting away" with "being innocent."
What good is all this money if I can't buy a police department?
I got away with driving down the road the other day and not breaking the speed limit, to me this represents a severe defect in police suveillance capabailities and must be rectified.
"Oh, let them eat cake. Then shoot them with our skeet practice weapons."
— Ann R. Money
Since when are police providing private security for snobs? Do these police guys know that they wouldn't have a job, if Romney had his way with it?
woah – great minds think alike. I type slower 'cause I'm old.
Oh, they'd have a job…but at much lower wages, fewer (if any benefits), and far more dangerous conditions. Of course, there would be fewer regulations all around so they would be able to put the squeeze on the accused and their families, so there's that.
Why is Romney using tax payer financed security for a private party? Can't he afford his own?
Otter: We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part!
Bluto: And we're just the guys to do it!
NEEDS MOAR PITCHFORKS.
"The police then dusted the Romney aides for Perelman staff semen. Approximately 15 pounds of semen were found and the aides were taken to an area hospital for stomach pumping."
Ahoy polloi!
They know how to throw a grand old party in the Hamptons.
Needs moar lawn jockeys.
I LOVE that this post has been declared stupid and wrong.
I feel so at home here. I love you guys. *sniff*
Updated version of "Weekend at Bernies". However Mittens was even stiffer than Bernie.
I can only hope the crasher-wannabes have read Kafka and know not to ask why they were arrested, as that would prove their guilt.
This was no boating accident!
Oh well, as a point of clarification, Rmoney could not possibly be Mr. Big as he is not anatomically correct. I have no idea about Ron Perleman.
This why the Hamptons needs its own aircraft carrier or cruise missile ship. President Romney will make that happen, thereby adding dozens of conscripts to the economy.
Go, Hellboy!
..Rebel scum!
Or maybe Raw Blow?
I always liked Steve Martin's line "Keep honking – I'm reloading."
Or was that a bumper snicker?
SJP was the real hero – a peach of a pair.
Square pegs, square pegs
Square, square pegs
Always never quite right.
I'd like it if they liked us, but I don't think they like us.
So tell me where's the party, and how come we weren't invited?
One size does not fit all.
Don't wanna wear my glasses, I have to wear my glasses.
Why are we wearing this year what they were wearing last year?
Yeah, I'd be cuter without gum in my braces.
I hope the whole is greater than the sum of it's parts.
She said that she was
But we know she isn't
And she said that she would
But he hasn't asked her.
He did – and we know it
But with whom
We can't guess it.
And they think that we're the.
Square pegs, square pegs
Square, square pegs
Really funny – who broke the π button on my calculator?
May you be eternally grounded.
Me? Get juiced with The Cool Patrol?
Uh . . . no thanks . . . Why do you think they call it beer?
I mean…listen to him!
(sax solo)
Square pegs, square pegs
Square, square pegs
Ya know, our school colors should be black and blue.
Yeah. I mean no. Huh? What?
No. I don't think I have a bad attitude. Why?
Suspended? Suspended for what?
But they told me it was Senior Wig Day!
Honest, I don't even know how those worms got there.
Now, what would I do with 200 peanut butter cups?
One size does not fit all.
Comments on this entry are closed.