STRANGE ANGELS  10:05 am July 10, 2012

Former FBI Lady Saw Angels At 9/11 Crash Site, Also Happens To Be Selling A Book

by Doktor Zoom

Actually, to her surprise, they climbed aboard a starship and headed for the skiesIn what is either an inspring story of God’s love for us all or maybe evidence that first responders deserve far better treatment for PTSD, very serious news site WND brings us the account of one Lillie Leonardi, who was the community affairs coordinator for the FBI’s Pittsburgh office when she was sent to the United Airlines Flight 93 crash site on Sept. 11, 2001. In a recently self-published memoir, In the Shadow of a Badge: A Spiritual Memoir, Ms. Leonardi reveals that when she arrived at the site outside Shanksville, Pennsylvania, she saw angels appearing all around the perimeter of the crash site:

“All of a sudden, I kept seeing this flicker of light. You saw all these angels manifest. One in particular, in front, that I knew, it was Michael. He knew I was there to do something. I just didn’t know what it was at that moment. He’s the conduit to God as far as I’m concerned. I’m then the conduit for other people to listen to what has to be said. And then it’s their choice to decide what to do.”

And what were these angels, including Michael, actually doing at the crash site? Leonardi doesn’t quite explain this, but she is very certain that they were there for a reason that is beyond our ability to comprehend. Now, as we know from sophisticated theological treatises like that one German movie with Peter Falk, angels can’t actually stop planes from crashing or even give 19 terrorists a case of explosive diarrhea that would keep them from flying, so don’t you start asking rude questions about the decided lack of divine intervention on 9/11, you dirty heathens. Besides, God did so intervene, leaving an inspiring cross-shaped piece of wreckage in the rubble of the World Trade Center, so there. Only God can cause two metal beams to meet at right angles, and to say otherwise would just be crazy talk.

Even worse would be to suggest that, in the wake of an unimaginably horrific experience that would eventually leave her so deeply affected by PTSD that she had to take early retirement, a person might simply grasp at any explanation that offers a sense of meaning in an inherently meaningless tragedy. This awful thing couldn’t have just happened, could it? Without any deeper significance than proving that a group of religiously motivated political fanatics (or were they politically motivated religious fanatics? We forget) can use modern technology to cause massive death and destruction, one might almost start thinking that there is no benign order in the universe, and precious little benign human agency at that. If believing they saw angels at a crash site helps someone get through what they experienced, it’s a lot better than substance abuse, becoming a 9/11 truther, or starting a couple of wars in the Middle East.

We’re not even sure we can be too snarkful about Leonardi’s trying to make a buck off her hallucinations by selling her book — after all, it’s not like public employees suffering from the fallout of 9/11 got a lot of love from Congress. OK, maybe that’s too strong. First responders got plenty of love. Just criminally limited care for their physical and mental health. As legitimate news site The Blaze notes, there’s an important message here:

Now, Leonardi is looking for some healing. By sharing her story, she‘s hoping that’s what she’ll be able to find, while also driving home the fact that she wants readers to know that, despite the pain and devastation, God was present on 9/11.

Again, like those angels, not especially doing anything, but, you know, definitely present. Which for some reason reminds us of this fine song by Mr. Randy Newman:

(When we used to teach First-Year College Writing, sometimes we’d play that and then ask the students what they thought of its sweet sentiments…and then follow it up with Newman’s “God’s Song” to introduce the concept of the Unreliable Narrator.) And now we write for your Wonkette. Sad face.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 100 comments }

actor212 July 10, 2012 at 10:08 am

I see angels whenever I get the Victoria Secrets catalog!

Mittens Howell, III July 10, 2012 at 10:29 am

Touched by an angel?

actor212 July 10, 2012 at 10:34 am

A consummation devoutly to be wished.

thatsitfortheother1 July 10, 2012 at 10:38 am
SorosBot July 10, 2012 at 10:40 am

I was touched by an angel – in my private place, it made me feel all icky.

MilwaukeeKent July 10, 2012 at 10:43 am

like the TV series, "Crushed by an Anvil".

Omophagist July 10, 2012 at 11:31 am

I see dead people…fapping.

Barb July 10, 2012 at 10:09 am

On the flight with the "underwear bomber" did they see the Victoria's Secret angels?

prommie July 10, 2012 at 10:09 am

This is complete bullshit, unlike the former CIA agent who says it was aliens at Roswell.

Mittens Howell, III July 10, 2012 at 10:39 am

I also have doubts about the security guard who saw Chris Christie at a Weight Watchers meeting.

Pragmatist2 July 10, 2012 at 10:09 am

"FORMER FBI LADY SAW ANGELS AT 9/11 CRASH SITE, ALSO HAPPENS TO BE SELLING A BOOK"

What a lucky coincidence for her!
But, really, she should have seen Jesus. Much bigger the the Box Office.

actor212 July 10, 2012 at 10:13 am

Jesus wanted points off the front end

Terry July 10, 2012 at 10:49 am

Also happens to be looking to give talks at fundy Churches for hefty checks.

MacRaith July 10, 2012 at 10:58 am

Nah, it's Virgin Mary sightings that really bring in the big bucks. Trust me on this, I'm an ex-Catholic.

arihaya July 10, 2012 at 10:10 am

did she remember to pay Guilliani a royalty?

James Michael Curley July 10, 2012 at 11:23 am

Guiliani saw several angels on 9/11. Then set them up in their own apartments in Bayshore, Astoria and Staten Island.

Mittens Howell, III July 10, 2012 at 10:10 am

Someone's also the conduit for me throwing up on my keyboard.

Hera Sent Me July 10, 2012 at 10:11 am

I saw angels at one of the 9/11 crash sites, too. Hundreds of them, in fact.

They were easy to spot because they all were wearing big hats that had "FDNY" on them.

actor212 July 10, 2012 at 10:12 am

One in particular, in front, that I knew, it was Michael.

What did he smell like? Cookies? Cotton Candy?

If he didn't smell like konditori you may have been having a hallucination

thatsitfortheother1 July 10, 2012 at 10:52 am

Hard to sense that sugary smell through 200,000 lbs of jet fuel.

Maybe not for her…

Estproph July 10, 2012 at 10:13 am

"Again, like those angels, not especially doing anything, but, you know, definitely present."

so they were just standing around, watching the investigators work? Were they union?

GunToting[Redacted] July 10, 2012 at 10:51 am

They were watching the detectives.

viennawoods13 July 10, 2012 at 11:20 am

Ah. Now my earworm for the day. Good choice.

MacRaith July 10, 2012 at 11:00 am

Ooh, commie socialist liberal union thug angels! There's got to be a screenplay in that. Or at least an SNL sketch.

CindynEncinitas July 11, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Obviously.

Goonemeritus July 10, 2012 at 10:13 am

I find meaning in the meaningless by drinking, it doesn’t always work but I rarely regret trying.

actor212 July 10, 2012 at 10:16 am

One should never regret drinking.

One should only regret sobering up.

Vecchiojohn July 10, 2012 at 10:22 am

I like to drink until I see angels.

eggsacklywright July 10, 2012 at 10:50 am

At least it provides some temporary enthusiasm, which is otherwise elusive.

ChernobylSoup July 10, 2012 at 10:15 am

It was just Gabriel playing hide and seek with the Seraphim.

actor212 July 10, 2012 at 10:15 am

Angels in Pennsylvania, satan in NYC…what to make of all this…

MrFizzy July 10, 2012 at 10:15 am

I see flashing lights too – on my bullshit detector.

SoBeach July 10, 2012 at 10:15 am

Well, Jerry Falwell said:

I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way–all of them who have tried to secularize America–I point the finger in their face and say "you helped this happen."

So obviously God was punishing us.

Maybe the angels hanging around the Flight 93 crash site were there to make sure no feminists, gays, or liberals survived.

weejee July 10, 2012 at 10:29 am

Or just to laugh at us.

Allmighty_Manos July 10, 2012 at 10:17 am

"One in particular, in front, that I knew, it was Michael."

One of the firemen looked like Michael Landon, which is where this angel stuff comes from.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ July 10, 2012 at 10:17 am

All of a sudden, I kept seeing this flicker of light. You saw all these angels manifest. One in particular, in front, that I knew, it was Michael.

Thanks for your help, asshole. Oh, what? "Division of labor," you say? "That's another angel's job", you say? Fuck right off… how fucking hard was it to keep the plane in the sky, you winged freakazoid?

Woodshedding July 10, 2012 at 10:17 am

Yeah, we humans are the only sentient beings in the entire universe which is full of countless galaxies which are full of countless stars and planets. It says so in the Bible.

Chow Yun Flat July 10, 2012 at 10:19 am

Angels are the last thing you want to see–actually they may be the last thing you will ever see since they are mean mofos with flaming swords and a really bad attitude.

Chill_Bill July 10, 2012 at 10:20 am

I'm sure the Crystal Meth had nothing to do with this.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ July 10, 2012 at 10:23 am

She's not eating someone's face off. She's selling a book.

widestanceromance July 10, 2012 at 10:20 am

Were these angels wearing flag pins?

DerrickWildcat July 10, 2012 at 10:20 am

Lillie Leonardi's Big Book of Hallucinations.

scorpy1 July 10, 2012 at 10:22 am

Was she referring to Michael Landon?

not that Radio July 10, 2012 at 10:22 am

So, Leonardi is a self-obsessed harpy?

weejee July 10, 2012 at 10:31 am

So sayz Bony Mehrohni, the quintessential harpy herself?

GorzoTheMighty July 10, 2012 at 10:23 am

Maybe next time the angels could show up before the plane crashed. To give a little help. But what do I know. Just a suggestion Michael.

Vecchiojohn July 10, 2012 at 10:27 am

Don't blame the angels; it's job of the Invisible Hand to intervene in such matters.

eggsacklywright July 10, 2012 at 10:40 am

I had a hand job from an angel that one time.

Vecchiojohn July 10, 2012 at 10:24 am

It's reassuring to know that such level-headed people are staffing America's secret police force.

CindynEncinitas July 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm

She spoke to the populace on their behalf. She was the voice of the valiant FBI and I'm sure the agents in the field were all totally down with her narrative.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ July 10, 2012 at 10:26 am

Also, I just now saw the miracle cross website. Oh my fucking god.

"I do not like your Christians. They are opportunist assholes." –Gandhi

EatsBabyDingos July 10, 2012 at 10:26 am

If the plane crashed in Wonkville, would she be surprised at the gathering of flatulent stoner drunks?

Terry July 10, 2012 at 10:50 am

I am NOT a stoner!

CindynEncinitas July 11, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Are too!

Madfall July 10, 2012 at 10:27 am

You let crazy people join the FBI? Truly, America is the land of opportunity!

Baconzgood July 10, 2012 at 10:28 am

We're not all bone heads in Pittsburgh. Some of are snarky and quite fetching.

SorosBot July 10, 2012 at 10:32 am

I see Angels all the time, along with Jesus. I live in a neighborhood with a large Mexican population.

Chill_Bill July 10, 2012 at 10:38 am

Why did Republicans killed Jesus? Cause he tried to cross the border.

CindynEncinitas July 11, 2012 at 4:40 pm

I actually heard a person at the beach calling to her dog, whose name was Jesus.

sharethegrief July 10, 2012 at 10:34 am

Across the world, angels know how to fly, except over Pennsylvania.

JustPixelz July 10, 2012 at 10:36 am

The FBI can see angels, but no one took them seriously when they said there were a few too many suspicious characters taking flight lessons. Shame on you Dubya for not paying attention.

Mittens Howell, III July 10, 2012 at 10:37 am

I love that Randy Newman song! especially the bit about God's car that goes beep beep beep!

CrunchyKnee July 10, 2012 at 10:40 am

Wow, this kind of insanity is actually rewarded and normal in our country. We get what we deserve.

Why didn't god just stop the terrorists in the first place? What a dick.

eggsacklywright July 10, 2012 at 10:42 am

Mebbe they were drone angels.

freddymcmurray July 10, 2012 at 10:42 am

Angel Dust.

unclejeems July 10, 2012 at 10:44 am

It always seemed odd to me that an ancient semitic volcano deity like Jehovah, who must have created a dark haired, swarthy people in his image, surrounded himself with pasty-white, blonde angels who look like they stepped out of a cottage in northern Germany. Just a little funny, I'm sayin.

thatsitfortheother1 July 10, 2012 at 10:54 am

Borkum libel!

LionHeartSoyDog July 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Auntie Semite libel!!!

Terry July 10, 2012 at 10:46 am

"One in particular, in front, that I knew, it was Michael. He knew I was there to do something."

The Archangel Michael wanted her to fill out really, really good reports and to file them appropriately.

Vecchiojohn July 10, 2012 at 11:01 am

In my day, when suspicious characters were seen hanging around terror attacks scenes, J. Edgar Hoover opened a secret file on them.

AddHomonym July 10, 2012 at 10:46 am

When she initially arrived at the crash site, she told the Associated Press that “the biggest thing for me is that that there were no bodies.”

Oh boy. That won't help.

Doktor Zoom July 10, 2012 at 10:55 am

Didn't you know? There were no bodies because they crashed an empty plane!

I always ask 9/11 truthers who insist that the planes were empty (or at the Pentagon, not a plane at all, but an Exocet missile or something) what happened to those people–did they never exist, or did the CIA hide them in The Village or LOST Island or what? They usually tell me I am closed-minded.

StealthMuslin July 10, 2012 at 10:48 am

That was the angel Michael LANDON and he was there to take all those folks on the Highway to Heaven. Duh! (Read your scripture, hippies…)

Guppy July 10, 2012 at 10:51 am

Angels look like a detached retina?

Doktor Zoom July 10, 2012 at 10:52 am

Now fixed, so that Randy Newman is actually in there.

fawkedifiknow July 10, 2012 at 10:52 am

Somehow "Michael rode Flight 93 to Shanksville" doesn't have the same poetry as "Michael rode the boat ashore" but god works in mysterious ways, sometimes, as the saying goes.

SorosBot July 10, 2012 at 10:52 am

The Angels are stupid. I mean, really; Los Angeles Angels Angels of Anaheim has got to be one of the dumbest, most convoluted names in all of sports. Pick a city, just one city, and stick with it. And anyway, nobody gives a fuck about Anaheim, or would even have heard of it otherwise, teams that play in the burbs normally still name themselves after the actual city they're near; I mean the Giants don't call themselves the New York Giants of Shitstink, New Jersey, do they?

CindynEncinitas July 11, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Well, where's the lake in L.A.? MacArthur Park? Puddingstone? The O.C. really needs those L.A. fans to fill up the stadium. Everyone in O.C. is too busy/ADD to sit in a ballpark all day.

Joshua Norton July 10, 2012 at 10:54 am

Someone has been watching waaaaay too many "Supernatural" reruns.

Did one of them look like Misha Collins?

pdiddycornchips July 10, 2012 at 10:56 am

Okay, she saw the Angel Michael but did notice Allah hiding in the tall pines beyond the clearing?

dennis1943 July 10, 2012 at 11:00 am

Can you say "section 8"……?

Barrelhse July 10, 2012 at 11:08 am

Yes, Lillie, you're a conduit.

didgen July 10, 2012 at 11:10 am

Just when you start to feel like you're a little bit cynical about people's faith, along comes someone new to make a buck off of the religiously gullible.

SayItWithWookies July 10, 2012 at 11:11 am

"He knew I was there to do something. I just didn’t know what it was at that moment."

Maybe you were there to do your job, lady. Just a wild guess here.

And oh how happy I am to find that the angel craze from the 1990s is finally making a comeback — where the fuck would we be as a society if we didn't feel like we were on center stage of some spiritual amphitheater with hordes of prying, preening, baby-soft, louse-infested conduits of the fucking LORD guiding our every fucking activity.

DahBoner July 10, 2012 at 11:12 am

If I had a dollar for every crack ho with platinum blonde hair named 'Angel'….

comrad_darkness July 10, 2012 at 11:15 am

Angels in the Architecture \ spinning in infinity \ she said, "hey, I'm a nutcase"

mavenmaven July 10, 2012 at 11:40 am

Perhaps they were mala'ikah, Islamic angels celebrating victory over the infidels? Which makes a lot more sense than Christian angels simply rubber-necking.

chascates July 10, 2012 at 11:52 am

I liked how she said the angels were lined up in perfect rows, just like in a Doctor Who show on weird shit.

mindo99 July 10, 2012 at 11:56 am

The other song Randy Newman wrote specifically as a counterpoint to 'He Gives Us All His Love' was 'That's Why I Love Mankind,' a scathing list of God's delight in our devotion to him in light of human suffering.

Doktor Zoom July 10, 2012 at 8:05 pm

(ahem… see the link in the last paragraph)

Kid_Charlemagne July 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Lillie sure picked the wrong week to stop huffing paint!

barto July 10, 2012 at 1:18 pm

"I kept seeing this flicker of light"

Sounds like they were on a smoke break.

Isyaignert July 10, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Is this like finding the face of Jesus on a grilled cheese sandwich that you can sell on ebay?

madmonq July 10, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Can't say the thought is comforting. What? Angels showed up after the fact to stand around & make jokes about the crime scene Law & Order style? Were there donuts?

Most likely what they were doing was clean up. God hates remainers. That sounds like the more like the bloodthirst Christian God she's no doubt referring to. Amazing the disconnect we're capable of whilst standing ankle deep in carnage.

fuflans July 10, 2012 at 1:42 pm

if all these supernatural beings just sit around watching shit happen, maybe we should take away their licenses or something.

fuflans July 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm

When we used to teach First-Year College Writing… And now we write for your Wonkette.

doc, we expect no lesser credentials at the wonkettes.

elgin_pelican July 10, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Wait – I though Scientologists were the only ones that could help at an accident. Tom, late of TomKat, told us that.

fishwharf July 10, 2012 at 5:57 pm

How many former FBI agents can fit on the head of a pin, or is that classified?

BZ1 July 10, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Michael? Jackson?

ttommyunger July 10, 2012 at 10:55 pm

So, she's retired; that means she no longer packs heat, right? Right?

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