KILL YOUR TELEVISION  3:27 pm July 7, 2012

Guest Post From An Occupy Dude

by admin

Bad LieutenantBy Lee Camp

We now spend roughly 15 years of our lives immersed in movies and videogames that have nothing to do with what’s going on in the world. There are global protests right now, and many of us are more caught up in the football game or the cooking show, the football game or the other football game, and then there’s a football game and after that there’s a goddamn football game! And I’m hoping soon they’ll find a way to combine a football game with a cooking show into a cookball game. And once that happens, I’m never leaving the house.

And the problem is people exhaust their natural anger about the shitstorm in which we live in easier, more suitable ways. Their kid is sick without healthcare, they’re behind on their home payments, but they’re FURIOUS because the Red Sox lost!

“Shut up, Timmy! Stop whining about your Lyme disease, Daddy’s busy with his misdirected anger! You should learn from your father and his crumpled up beer cans and go misdirect your anger! …Beat up your little sister or something. …You know, a little bit of fist medicine.”

And that brings me to my brilliant idea – Maybe if protests or the environmental destruction going on around the world were covered by sports announcers, people would finally give a damn. Perhaps that’s all it would take.

“Welcome to ESPN’s coverage of Occupy. The cops have clearly been training in the offseason. They have a whole new playbook. Wait, some of the protesters have button-hooked over to the unmanned side. They’ve jumped a barricade. The police have pulled out pepper spray! But the protesters have masks! They could – go – all – the – way – No! No! The police just beat the hell out of the protesters’ star player, an 85 year-old Granny for Peace. She’ll have to be carted off the field. Looks like the men in the blue will take this round, successfully protecting the criminal activity of the men in the ivory towers. Join us back here tomorrow when the protesters try a new tactic of aggressive singing and the cops try out tasers!”

Rome is burning, and we’re watching the gladiators …in 3D! There’s a reason Ultimate Fighting is now more popular than sex. Everyone’s into it. You see 300-pound morbidly obese dudes wearing Tap Out brand clothing in McDonalds. Can we make a rule that you’re not allowed to wear a Tap Out shirt if you, yourself would have to tap out halfway through a rigorous jumping jack?

There’s a real-life battle waging out there and instead of paying attention, most of us are watching “The Avengers.” Don’t get me wrong, I saw “The Avengers.” I’m not saying don’t watch the shit; I’m just saying don’t watch ALL of it. If the Incredible Hulk had used his anger screaming at the television because the Lakers lost instead of beating up the assholes from a another planet, mankind woulda been fucked. But luckily the Hulk had accidentally eaten his television one night after a few drinks, and therefore he wasn’t distracted by the cookball super bowl.

Lee Camp is an Occupy dude and author of Moment of Clarity. You can buy it right there and stuff, at the link. He also has a comedy album, you could buy that too, you filthy 1 percenter.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 382 comments }

Ryy July 7, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Its always fun to see that moment when someone realizes lots of other people don't think what they think is important, to be very important.

It gets better!

LionHeartSoyDog July 7, 2012 at 6:34 pm

wut
Gramma sux.

Negropolis July 7, 2012 at 11:56 pm

You know, that was kind of my take on this, too. I'd given the movement a lot of leeway, to the point of where I was criticizing people for criticizing the nebulous nature of the movement. But this has gone on aimlessly long enough, now. They need to get a clue, or get used to be ignored. Time to find a congressional election and go all in or STFU, or at least stop complaining about not being covered exactly as you would like.

That said, I do like what individuals members are doing and the small cells. There is some community organizing going on, but nothing at the scale that would make this national, anymore. I guess that's all right, up to a point.

tbogg July 7, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Bill Hicks v 2.0 is no Bill Hicks

UW8316154 July 7, 2012 at 6:53 pm

"It's all about money, not freedom, ya'll, okay? Nothing to do with fuckin' freedom. If you think you're free, try going somewhere without fucking money, okay?"

God I love that man.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ July 7, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Good news: Television watching overall is down by a significant percentage.

Bad news: everyone's watching lolcats.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 4:12 pm

I thought we were all watching Tentacle Porn.

Dashboard Buddha July 7, 2012 at 9:28 pm

"everyone's watching lolcats. "

Even so, they'll still be better informed than those folks who watch Fox.

Crank_Tango July 7, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Ceiling cat abides.

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 1:44 am

Dude.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 7, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Compare the intelligence betwixt the jersey shore and lolcats, and tell me this isn't a step up.

Jersey has shouting, lolcats have philsoraptors. http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/philosoraptor

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 1:43 am

Nothing wrong with lolcats.

Antispandex July 7, 2012 at 3:37 pm

I, personally, welcome our corporate masters. Rollerball looks like a kick ass game!

PuckStopsHere July 7, 2012 at 3:39 pm

This would be better if it had included the obligatory post-game coaches interview wherein the coach says. obligatorily, "I can't comment on that until I've had a chance to see the tape."

Crank_Tango July 7, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I kinda like those hipster cooking shows, like Pimp my Bacon:

"yo dawg, we know you like to bacon your bacon, so we put some bacon in your bacon so you can bacon while you bacon!"

Vecchiojohn July 7, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Could you fry it in butter, please?

Butch_Wagstaff July 7, 2012 at 9:30 pm

And put an egg sunny-side up on top?

Negropolis July 7, 2012 at 11:58 pm

"Who do you think I am? Paula Deen?"

Biff July 7, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Mmmm, bacon…

swordfis July 7, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Too complicated: OWS should just makes its own teen vampire show.

chascates July 7, 2012 at 3:49 pm

The fact is eventually the poor will have nothing to eat but the rich. And then it will get plenty of attention.

nounverb911 July 7, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Soylent Romney?

shortsandpants July 7, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Just don't tell anybody what he's made out of.

Crank_Tango July 7, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Soylent Romney is people too, my friend.

MilwaukeeKent July 7, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I practically lived on Romney Noodles in college.

LionHeartSoyDog July 7, 2012 at 6:35 pm

If you could call that living.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 7, 2012 at 10:00 pm

If there is one thing that Romney knows with professional fervor, it's eating people. By which I mean corporations.

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 1:44 am

Too rich. Urp.

boobookitteh July 7, 2012 at 4:04 pm

The poor will eat each other first because the rich will tell them to.

The brainwashing of Americans by the "1%" will go down in history as the greatest con job of all time.

Isyaignert July 7, 2012 at 4:30 pm

You've got that right! We are in the middle of the biggest rip-off in history and no one has gone to jail. Bernie Madeoff(with all my money) only went to jail because he stole from the rich.

Pay attention to what your politicians and the politicians in black robes are doing and work to remove them or support them. Enough with these sociopathic mofos ruining everyone's lives to enrich themselves. Rmoney – I'm looking at you, mofo.

boobookitteh July 7, 2012 at 4:36 pm

My only consolation (other than whiskey and snark) is that someday they'll figure it out. And boy will they be pissed. And heavily armed.

LionHeartSoyDog July 7, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Armed struggle is the only fight that gets real results against fascism.

I would like to see that in my lifetime, but i am somewhat old.

Negropolis July 8, 2012 at 12:00 am

The poor will eat each other first because the rich will tell them to.

This.

"You're not going to eat the 'job creators', are you? What are you? Some kind of socialist?"

And that will be that.

MilwaukeeKent July 7, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Never too soon to start collecting recipes.

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 1:48 am

Kaikai Aniani. Look it up.

Butch_Wagstaff July 7, 2012 at 6:14 pm

I would watch that cooking show. I'm hoping spits will be involved.

Vecchiojohn July 7, 2012 at 7:14 pm

I'm hungry already.

12X34X July 8, 2012 at 12:41 am

I ain't eating no Koch brother. Those guys look toxic to me.

nounverb911 July 7, 2012 at 3:55 pm

"300-pound morbidly obese dudes wearing Tap Out brand clothing in McDonalds."
And f**king up New Jersey.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 4:14 pm

…and becoming YouTube celebrities.

Butch_Wagstaff July 7, 2012 at 6:19 pm

I'm so out of the loop. Is Tap Out clothing like the new Ed Hardy or sumthin'?

BerkeleyBear July 7, 2012 at 6:40 pm

MMA wannabes – the guys who used to wear T-Shirts of WWE wrestlers where they managed to stretch their bloated images even more than the steroids had.

Butch_Wagstaff July 7, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Ah, I see. Sorta like all the blobs who used to wear the West Coast Choppers or Harley Davidson crap who never sat on a motorcycle. Or made they did sit on a motorcycle but they couldn't actually go anywhere after the tires immediately blew out.

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 1:49 am

Honey, if we're talking about Governor FatFuck, that guy has not seen 300 lb in decades. I'm pegging (NO!) his weight at 450-500. Any bets?

MaxUdargo July 8, 2012 at 2:15 am

I'm disturbed that it was so predictable that in the middle of that rant would be a random, seemingly pointless and digressive attack on fat people. It has become kind of a standard requirement, hasn't it?

I'm fat, and I apologize for it. It just kind of snuck up on me when I got old. But I know there are no excuses. I know I'm just being selfish.

On the other hand, I haven't seen "The Avengers" and I don't watch football and I spent a day and part of the night at the Occupy Oakland protest right after the first round of violence broke out. I didn't get pepper-sprayed or hit with a club, but I wanted to, and I presented a big target. So are we good?

Or am I just making a fool of myself. I mean, all the marching and chanting doesn't change the fact that I'm fat. Is everybody laughing at me behind my back? Or maybe wishing I'd go home and stop embarrassing everybody with my pathetically corpulent presence?

I have a fantasy where the cops have the protestors surrounded on a hill, and the protestors have no escape. Then I step forward and say, "Roll me." And they say, "What?" And I say, "Roll me, goddamit. Roll me!" And then I lay down on my side and the protestors start pushing me down the hill until I begin to roll like a 55-gallon drum of crude, or a giant garbage bag full of tapioca pudding. And I slam into the line of cops and plow through them, creating a path through which the protestors swarm like the Israelites following Moses through the Red Sea. And then I'm a hero and everybody loves me and they don't care that I'm fat. The hippie chicks feed me grapes and rub my tummy and later they probably have sex with me.

But that's never going to happen in real life, is it? Because you people can't see past the fat to the little hero hidden inside.

Boojum July 8, 2012 at 7:51 am

It's not the fat he was mocking; it was the complete lack of self-awareness. You, my friend, are not that person. Peace.

new_pic_for_NEWTer July 8, 2012 at 11:54 am

As long as you haven't taken a helicopter and private car to your kid's softball game you're fine. Boojum is right.

smashedinhat July 7, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Until you have the power to beat the cops you won't go anywhere. So, good luck. I gave up and joined the mobile work force and became an international hobo. The beans have more flavour.

Crank_Tango July 7, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Garbanzo beans are so versatile, too!

LionHeartSoyDog July 7, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Habas de hobo.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 4:01 pm

As your Resident Cephalopod, I advise you to Kick out the Jams.

shortsandpants July 7, 2012 at 4:03 pm

In support of this cause, I'm going to Occupy this couch.

DahBoner July 9, 2012 at 7:14 am

Occuppy Red Robin: We won't leave until there is no more bottomless fries!!!

boobookitteh July 7, 2012 at 4:06 pm

I feel like I can care about the Red Sox and economic issues at the same time. And to be fair, the Red Sox are losing to the Yankees. So, ya know. Important.

nounverb911 July 7, 2012 at 4:13 pm

If they lose again tonight, Bobby V will probably stowaway on tomorrows non-stop to Tokyo.

boobookitteh July 7, 2012 at 4:18 pm

He looked like he was going to go hang himself in the barn at the post game press conference. I'm actually starting to feel sorry for him.

weejee July 7, 2012 at 4:18 pm

the Red Sox are losing to the Yankees

the Red Sox are losing to the MFYs

/ fixed

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 4:11 pm

TCM just had a Giant Radioactive Octopus eating the Golden Gate bridge and now they're showing Dr. Strangelove, or How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb.
Now, that's good television.

viennawoods13 July 7, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Showed that to my students last month. I was afraid that they wouldn't get the humour, but they loved it.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 4:35 pm

It's held up very well, over the years.

EDIT: We're targeting the Roosky ICBM complex at LaPuta now.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 4:43 pm

"I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids."

That scene still makes me laugh right out loud, after all these years.

Vecchiojohn July 7, 2012 at 7:17 pm

I still love, "You can fight in here, this is the war room."

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Also too. There's so many memorable lines that it's hard to pick a favorite.

PhilippePetain July 9, 2012 at 1:09 pm

That's actually really good to hear.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Dr. Strangelove just wheeled himself onstage now. Peter Sellers was a genius.

LionHeartSoyDog July 7, 2012 at 6:45 pm

i no longer can afford Kabul television.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Sorry. There's always YouTube.

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 1:54 am

You can probly get the DVD at your local library.

LionHeartSoyDog July 8, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Instead of paying for cable, i like building up a library by buying the occasional DVD of great films, and sometimes they're on sale for only $5.
Best Wishes.

(I remember seeing 'Dr. Strangelove…' as a youngster.
It was like reading 'Grapes of Wrath,' life-changing.)

Chow Yun Flat July 7, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Mein Führer! I can walk!

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Perfect.

flamingpdog July 7, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Henry Kissinger meets Ironsides.

C_R_Eature July 8, 2012 at 1:14 am

Meets Edward Teller.

Chow Yun Flat July 7, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Major King Kong: "Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff."

"Dr. Strangelove" is in my all-time top three American movies along with "Singin' in the Rain" and "Casablanca". Kubrick, Sellers and Terry Southern made a perfect movie.

flamingpdog July 7, 2012 at 11:32 pm

I showed that movie to my oldest when he was a teenager. Knowing not a whole lot about the Cold War, nevertheless he thought it was hilarious. I had to buy him his own copy.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 11:36 pm

I feel that there's probably a lot of stories out there exactly like yours. It's just a dammed near perfectly craved film.

viennawoods13 July 8, 2012 at 12:56 am

It is so great that it is done in such a deadpan manner- all those hilarious lines delivered with a perfectly straight face.

TribecaMike July 7, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I thought all the kids were into multi-tasking these days?

valthemus July 7, 2012 at 4:15 pm

It's very easy to get disappointed about where people's priorities lie. In a better world, if you know the name of the quarterback on your local football team but don't know the names of your representatives in Congress, you would be pelted with rotten tomatoes.

ttommyunger July 7, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Hmph! Give me a set of hooters like Salma Hayek's and I'll never leave the house, deal?

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Whatever you say, but wouldn't you fall forward when you stand up?

ttommyunger July 7, 2012 at 4:45 pm

You pose an interesting prospect; I've never fapped standing up.Sent from my iPhone

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 4:46 pm

I think you're up to the challenge.

ttommyunger July 7, 2012 at 5:00 pm

At my age just getting up is a challenge some days.Sent from my iPhone

Negropolis July 8, 2012 at 12:03 am

And that would be a problem for Tommy why, again? lol

C_R_Eature July 8, 2012 at 12:06 am

Problem? What problem?

Negropolis July 8, 2012 at 12:23 am

Well, "but wouldn't you fall forward when you stand up? " kind of implies a worry or concern, no?

DrunkIrishman July 7, 2012 at 4:16 pm

My life is hollow enough as is with TV. Don't take that away from me.

weejee July 7, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Ultimate Fighting?? Tap Out brand clothing??? Is this a cable teevee thing Mrs. weejee and I are missing???

BerkeleyBear July 7, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Only if you are lucky. Fightclub has broken the number 1 rule and gone global in the process. Right now, at least they seem not to demand blood sacrifices of the losers, but I'm guessing Dan White (the head of one of the main organizations) is considering it.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Shut Up and Fish Occupy.

Isyaignert July 7, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Great blog – really enjoyed the read! Cookball – L to the O to the L!!!

el_donaldo July 7, 2012 at 4:29 pm

I've been gone for a while again. Did we turn into the DailyKos during my absence?

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I don't see any Orange.

el_donaldo July 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm

It seems safe, but I'm not seeing the usual density of reference to buttsecks and gin.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Well, I've just finished the first Gin & Tonic of the day. The buttsecks is all yours.

UW8316154 July 7, 2012 at 6:57 pm

That sounds like an invitation?

Anyway, a G&T sounds swell, I think i'll join you, C_R_E, if you don't mind….

ElPinche July 8, 2012 at 2:38 am

We can't call people cunts in their cunt faces anymore. We also can't skullfuck people .

Isyaignert July 7, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Gawd, I hope not! I have been on the Kos for over five years and got kicked off forever because I made the following statement: "There has never been a serious investigation of what happened on 9/11/01 and many intelligent people have questions." That makes me a 9/11 conspiracy theorist and is verboten. Fuk Kos, you guys are smart too and waaaaaay more fun!

Chet Kincaid July 7, 2012 at 5:13 pm

We're much nicer here. We just point and laugh at people who say shit like that.

LionHeartSoyDog July 7, 2012 at 6:49 pm

No snark, and with all due respect, how did WT7 free-fall into it's own footprint?

not that Radio July 7, 2012 at 11:47 pm
Negropolis July 8, 2012 at 12:04 am

Like how the two other towers mostly fell within their own footprints, that's how.

Isyaignert July 8, 2012 at 1:06 am

Not sure; but just don't ask that question on the Kos.

Chet Kincaid July 8, 2012 at 2:19 am

Obama did it, to cover up all evidence of the faking of his birth certificate. Gawd, didn't you people see "The X-Files" movie?!

shortsandpants July 7, 2012 at 6:38 pm

A lot of stupid people have questions about it, too.

lulzmonger July 7, 2012 at 8:42 pm

In contact with reality?
That's a bannin'.

Yet you'd still be surfing teh orange wave if only you'd asked the REAL burning question about 9/11:

WHY DO THE JERSEY GIRLS HAET AMERICA?????//////?

taylormattd July 7, 2012 at 6:29 pm

No shit. Ugh.

calliecallie July 7, 2012 at 4:34 pm

It all happened when they made us all switch to digital cable.I believe there is some kind of mind-numbing addictive signal coming through the cable now. And how is it that the gubmint can make us all get a cable box, but they can't make us get health insurance?

Geminisunmars July 7, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Who could live without a cable box?

BoatOfVelociraptors July 7, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Uhm, anyone on the internet?

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 7, 2012 at 6:26 pm

I don't have a cable box. Don't tell the government!

MumbletyRadio July 7, 2012 at 4:44 pm

After reading wonkette this week I'm starting to believe I'm a hypnotized robot. Feeling just the littlest bit sorry for Romney as when one feels sorry for a loser, thus I must be hypnotized. And the television set last held me at full attention and wonderment when I was young & watching that last cathode ray after turning it off faaaaaaaaaaaaade smaller • ∞ until it disappeared. Thus I'm part robot (though I suppose it could work the other way around)

Edit: *GAH* there's a cathode ray app of all things~

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 5:00 pm

My Favorite Teevee program is OW MY BALLS.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 7, 2012 at 5:08 pm

"We now spend roughly 15 years of our lives immersed in movies and video games…"
If you include masturbation I think that number is kind of low.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Way low.

rocktonsam July 7, 2012 at 7:22 pm

really way low

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Really, it's all masturbation all the time, 'round here.

eggsacklywright July 8, 2012 at 11:18 am

Let's hear it for Sean Costello!

ManchuCandidate July 7, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Chris Berman is environmental damage.

Chet Kincaid July 7, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Wonkette is now the brick wall and spotlight for every ranter on the political comedy circuit?

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Yes. Next week the Republican Furries will post here.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 7, 2012 at 6:40 pm

You know, a cage match between Republican Furries and Democratic Squiddies would end in a pile of goo that even Japanese animators would balk at.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Tentacles of Fury!

Butch_Wagstaff July 7, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Oh god, NO!!

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Sorry. yes. Brace yourself.

lulzmonger July 7, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Cigarskunk FTW!

(Warning: link not safe for mental health)

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Holy shit! There's a "typical conservative furry"!?

Butch_Wagstaff July 7, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Dafuq?

MumbletyRadio July 7, 2012 at 5:27 pm

It's the weekend. Sometimes I've wondered why not have an open thread, much less a guest writer, which we do get plenty of varieties for the latter … there are other sites that do the former quite well, not sure how it'd do here~

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 5:32 pm

We had a 2000+ reply to a post a while ago. Chascates put us over the top.

UW8316154 July 7, 2012 at 7:01 pm

And it was effin epic!

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Fookin' A!

UW8316154 July 7, 2012 at 7:00 pm

I think a weekend open thread is a great idea, at least worth a couple tries to see how it goes.

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 12:17 am

i think this post illustrates why we shouldn't do that.

Pragmatist2 July 7, 2012 at 5:18 pm

True statement: One small group of people has most of the money. One large group of people has most of the votes. The first group spends its money trying to manipulate (or repress) the votes of the second group. If the second group refuses to use its votes to manipulate (or repossess) the money of the first group, guess who wins? You can call that class warfare if you'd like. I call ti democracy.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 5:19 pm

You know who else used elaborate public spectacles to distract people?

MumbletyRadio July 7, 2012 at 5:34 pm
C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Too Cool! But: You haven't lived 'till you've seen a Black Skimmer do a broken wing act!

MumbletyRadio July 7, 2012 at 6:21 pm

That thing's beak — almost blade-like — but also the close-up distorted for me any sense of scale. They're actually only 16-20" and wingspan up to 4 feet, mercy..

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 6:26 pm

There's a reason for that beak.

Designer_Radio July 8, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Birdbrain is smart.

rocktonsam July 7, 2012 at 8:11 pm

who? glenn beck . hitler and $arah Palin?

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Yes, in a three-way.

Urgh. I just threw up in my mouth, a little.

Butch_Wagstaff July 7, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Simon Cowell?

not that Radio July 7, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Pink Floyd?

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 11:10 pm

The Pig was awesome.

flamingpdog July 7, 2012 at 11:44 pm
Negropolis July 8, 2012 at 12:07 am

Rupie Murdoch? Chris Angel?

Come here a minute July 7, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Shorter Lee Camp: 'Strike another match, go start anew.'

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Excellent.

ChernobylSoup July 7, 2012 at 5:26 pm

The OWS group here was out working some watershed controversy the other day. When the local news asked them for an update on Occupy, they complained to the reporter about the media calling the movement "unfocused."

Butch_Wagstaff July 7, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Occupy Richmond still has their facebook page but the last post on their site was back in Feb. Ugh. All too familiar pattern here.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 7, 2012 at 6:53 pm

That would be the point of a non-hierarchical organization. In essence, it means that the failure of one node can't compromise the org. You can't be branded by a name. There's no "Steve Jobs" or "Stalin" figure to use your 800 word story. Without a hierarchy, of course the message coherence is going to be lesser.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Of course then you get:

"Duude, like, why haven't you updated the website yet?"
"Man, it's not my turn. Talk to Frank."
"Where's Frank?" "Oh, he's off hiking the Appalachian Trail for the summer."
"Well, who in the hell's taking care of his tasks, then?" "Oh, that'll be Althea, she's filling in."
"So where's she?" Oh, Katlin knows, go ask her." Katlin, where's Althea?"
"Whoa, Dude, she's taking journalism classes at Columbia this semester." "WHAT!?"

BoatOfVelociraptors July 7, 2012 at 10:24 pm

That winds up being true of any distributed system. Say for example you are managing the synchronization of a distributed app, running in multiple datacenters or cores. In order to have coherence, you need a central authority. However, to have appropriate redundancy, you need nodes of the entity to be able to operate with cached data, which may not be canonical with the rest of the system. So you trade coherence for resiliency. It's a tough nut to crack, getting the balance right.Thanks

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 10:37 pm

This is precisely the reason we need to develop Robot Servants.

flamingpdog July 7, 2012 at 11:49 pm

I have no idea what you said, but I upthumbed you because I like velociraptors, even though they don't actually look like the ones in Jurassic Puke Park.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 5:30 pm

President Merkin Muffley!

Sorry. Dr. Strangelove's on.

MumbletyRadio July 7, 2012 at 5:31 pm

MY beef is I cannot believe Wimbledon's final match is only viewable on cable, not network tv. I could swear I remembered watching it on one of the networks back in the day. Isn't this awfully ELITIST OF YOU, WIMBLEDON?? oh, wait.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Ever since the Blancmanges from Outer Space turned everyone in Britain into Scotsmen so that they could win Wimbledon, everything's been going downhill.

Negropolis July 8, 2012 at 12:11 am

Wait, you sure about that? I'm pretty sure Wimbledon is on NBC every year.

MumbletyRadio July 8, 2012 at 4:47 am

I hadn't been keeping up — lost power last weekend w/ local storms — and hadn't been *tuned in* or I would've seen promo stuff on NBC surely? When I searched online for "tv schedule" all I got was ESPN references; but you're right, since then I talked w/ others and figured it out.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 5:55 pm
flamingpdog July 7, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Nothing like fine music late at night to bring back those nostalgic memories of the Cold War. I could have done without the five seconds (at least they let me cut off the ad before it was over) of hemorrhoid commercial showing a naked guy with a series of expanding red rings coming out of his ass crack. I'm gonna go tear down that wall keeping me from the beer in the frig.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Hey Punk, where you going with that flower in your hand?

MumbletyRadio July 7, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Hey "Punk Alice" — what are you doing with that flamingo in your hand??

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Now, that's cool.

taylormattd July 7, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Oh christ. The Wonket has invited some kid who's been hanging out on a community college lawn for 8 months to bitch us out for playing too many video games.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 6:31 pm

At least, we didn't get yelled at for masturbating.

Butch_Wagstaff July 7, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Yelled at? I always thought those were shouts of encouragement.

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 12:19 am

Well, most of us aren't at work right now.

C_R_Eature July 8, 2012 at 1:17 am

It's harder to pull off in a cube.

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 1:21 am
Dashboard Buddha July 8, 2012 at 7:44 am

Not too many video games these days. Still looking for work.

taylormattd July 8, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Some of us played video games to dull the pain when we were out of work.

Dashboard Buddha July 8, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Oh, ok. around these parts we play an RPG called Scrounging Returnables To Be Able To Afford A Bottle Of Bottom Shelf Vodka.—

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 7, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Mmmmmm, cookingball sounds delicious. But it needs more pepper spray!

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Well, I saw the Cooking with Balls previews and I was less than impressed.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Ancient Wisdom that's still relevant today.

Self-Uploader July 7, 2012 at 7:00 pm

I gave up "TV" and then I realized you can not only watch all of television on the internets, but you could watch anything. You can even have "friendships" with people you'll never meet. You never have to leave your house because you can use the internet to get food delivered. It's you mommy; it's you daddy; it's your everything.

The internet is to television what crack is to cocaine coffee.

Negropolis July 8, 2012 at 12:13 am

I'm a young'un, but until they make it absolutely necessary, my internet and my television are seperate devices, if even I'm watching one with the other one in the background.

I do not watch television on my computer. Some of this has to do with my computer being too damned old to make it enjoyable, but most of the reason is that I think some things should be seperate.

flamingpdog July 8, 2012 at 1:01 am

but equal?

Designer_Radio July 8, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I bring the computer into the bathroom, but the teevee is not allowed in my bathroom. It also is forbidden from using my drinking fountain.

Self-Uploader July 8, 2012 at 10:46 am

I feel that way about not having a backlit e-reader, but the decision to go with the computer for television was also economic. The cable bill was too damn high.

viennawoods13 July 8, 2012 at 10:55 am

I didn't want am ereader but gave in this spring. I am a book geek, but I was able to get 2 books I wanted and hadn't found whilst looking in bookstores, and didn't want to order online, downloaded for an extremely reasonable price in a matter of seconds. Hooked. besides, it fits better in my purse than a copy of Foucault's Pendulum.

DemmeFatale July 8, 2012 at 11:25 am

I think a backlit-e-reader may have saved my marriage, (or at least eased my migraines).

protocollie July 7, 2012 at 7:03 pm

I feel as if I'm going to get eaten alive here, but I want to be honest about how I feel about occupy because I feel mixed after reading this.

I totally consider myself a progressive, I agree with what the message of the occupy movement, and I really, really would like to see them make an impact. But I completely fell off the bandwagon after actually visiting the occupy camp in Philadelphia. I meandered around, I spoke to people, I tried to find out what was going on. The information I got was:

"My dog just had puppies!"

"My friend is an awesome musician and playing a show downtown later."

"They're kicking us out! That's unfair!"

I am totally 110% in line with what the reported message of occupy is. I think that if they were actually working to that end, I'd be totally on board. I just don't see it, man. It seems like a disorganized clusterfuck of college kids actually dragging down an important message by association rather than people actually out to change the world.

Sorry if I don't pay attention, dude. I almost feel like the bulk of the people who were out there were unintentionally taking away legitimacy from the cause.

Commence flames, it's cool. I get it.

Jadetiger79 July 9, 2012 at 2:05 am

*fistbump* me too. I agree with you word for word, except the Philly part : ) ATL here. Same stuff, different city.

PhilippePetain July 9, 2012 at 1:18 pm

I highly doubt you're going to get berated for having that opinion here.

vodkamuppet July 9, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Flaming here is pretty rare, especially since they got rid of the downfist button and the Brietbart trolls ceased to have a reason to stop by. I think your opinion is pretty much identitical witn the majority of wonkettes. We are cynical and completely disillusioned with the clusterfuck that is American politics. Remember this phrase: TITS OR GTFO!

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 7:07 pm
Walkinwiddaking July 7, 2012 at 7:07 pm

I'm still amazed by the photo. Splay footed, pus gutted and walking small.

rocktonsam July 7, 2012 at 7:09 pm

hey good luck dude and what ever it is you're supporting, I'm a little busy to give a rats ass right now and to poor to buy your stuff, all the best kiddo.

UW8316154 July 7, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Lee Camp understands that his screed is being posted on the *internet*, right? Maybe the wrong medium for his message?

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Not only that, but he's posted it on Wonkette. Of all places.

sati_demise July 7, 2012 at 7:45 pm

oh I am fuckin' givin' all you smug posers a big bag of dicks.

Lee Camp is fuckin' awesome

sati_demise July 7, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Now blog war about it.

We used to be a war blog, but for all you cheetoes eatin' slackers

not that Radio July 7, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Where were you last week when we smeared feces all over John Boehner's "SpeakerBlog"

sati_demise July 7, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Damn, some Occupiers have to work, contrary to popular belief.

not that Radio July 7, 2012 at 11:48 pm

You go to warblog with the schedule you have, not the schedule you might want or wish to have at a later time.

ElPinche July 8, 2012 at 2:26 am

Warblog? I plan out my blog battles on powerpoint slides then execute with extreme fucking prejudice. Have you seen Spanky lately? No, because disemboweled him and pulled his insides across four Breitbart sites like mutherfucking string confetti. I got teabagger brains on my birkenstocks right now. It's like the mutherfuckin Guns of the Navarone up in here.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 7:47 pm

You need your head, you Rock and Roll Pussy.

coolhandnuke July 7, 2012 at 8:07 pm

This burgeoning comic/writer is hardly top shelf compared to America's finest satirist PJ O'Rourke.
As a doctor, I recommend you start drinking heavily.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Start?

Troubledog July 7, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Flounder: Will that work?
Otter: Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth.
Bluto: [thrusting six-pack into Flounder's hands] My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Otter: Better listen to him, Flounder, he's in pre-med.

sati_demise July 7, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Oh you mean that guy who totally blew on Bill Mahers show? The best smack down on TV?

http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/scarce/econ-1

rocktonsam July 7, 2012 at 8:14 pm

you guys, Huckabee is totally sucking Alan West's dick on FOX right now you guys

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 8:20 pm

I'll wait for the Tentacle Porn version, thanks.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 8, 2012 at 10:19 am

Urotsukidoji: West?

TribecaMike July 7, 2012 at 8:23 pm

My TV has the V-Chip installed so no can see.

Butch_Wagstaff July 7, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Ick. And last night on the 11 o'news I heard Marco Rubio's statements about how great McDonnell's been for our state. He wants to be one of major playas in the GOP that there's no orifice he won't lick.

ElPinche July 8, 2012 at 2:33 am

Thanks for taking one for the team. I'd rather watch this Hoarders episode with lady with the three foot high shit stack while eating chunky monkey ice cream.

Troubledog July 7, 2012 at 8:35 pm

I read on Amazon you were supposed to be funny and clever. Apparently your publicist is doing a great job.

TribecaMike July 7, 2012 at 8:43 pm

I suggest that the author slip a roofie into Demetri Martin's drink and take copious notes throughout the evening.

HippieEsq July 7, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Dear Occupy Dude (and all of your friends) –

COME TO WASHINGTON, DC, AND START WORKING THE LEVERS OF POLICY LIKE THE REST OF US WHO CARE.

(If you are choosing any other path to pursue "change" your're doing it wrong and wasting your time).

sati_demise July 7, 2012 at 11:28 pm

We need some lobbyists obviously since nothing gets into law without their writing the legislation first.
Besides, no one in their right mind including the founding fathers back in the day, will ever want to be in that swamp in the summer.
Even more so with climate change, oh maybe we should all go get heat stroke to make you happy Mr. HippieEsq

HippieEsq July 8, 2012 at 2:02 am

Pursuing justice for actual people and causes is a fine distraction from the heat. That plus the hot interns.

Designer_Radio July 8, 2012 at 10:36 am

Mmm. Hot Interns. Can we have posts about that instead of yelling at us for watching foosball?

BoatOfVelociraptors July 8, 2012 at 10:25 am

So what, a 50k ad buy on the Yellow Line to influence policy for the pentagon?

aklibtard July 7, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Wow. Occupy post. That's pretty retro. Are any of those idealistic hippies still acting as our proxies for social unrest? Whatever, I can't wait until baseball ends and college football starts back up. The Avengers sucked, also.

HippieEsq July 7, 2012 at 10:49 pm

offended that you call them Hippies. Hippies care enough to participate. Camping is not participating.

sati_demise July 8, 2012 at 2:07 am

Remember what we were talking about before last September?

Austerity, austerity and more austerity.

HippieEsq July 8, 2012 at 10:09 am

Since House Republicans and Republican-controlled state legislatures are still talking about it, perhaps it's time to join a campaign? And no, I don't mean Lyndon LaRouche….

Negropolis July 8, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Zing!

sbj1964 July 7, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Hulk Crush! HulK destroy evil Mittens! Raping America for Profit wrong! Don't make me angry Mr. Romeny,you whould'nt like me when I'm angry. Go Green in November! Obama 2012!!!!!!!!!!!

not that Radio July 7, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Gee whiz, Lee Camp, your assessment of us is almost as accurate as Matt Lauer's or maybe Wolf Blitzers's assessment of us. Do you work for NBC? Or maybe CNN? Because they think that we're preoccupied (je je) with matters of cooking shows and football games, whereas we actually care about our jobs and our kids and Republicans destroying the world and the environment and the future. I'm not sure what Rebecca told you when she hired you, but perhaps you misunderstood.

Don't quit your day job.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 10:35 pm

This post is like Amateur Stand-up Night at the Mos Eisley Catina.

coolhandnuke July 7, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Camp's piece gives me a flashback to my days of editing a college newspaper where many a poli sci undergrad with a brain fresh of Chomsky, Zinn and Doonesbury would submit their brain droppings. Camp's work is no different from those–that rarely made the op-ed page–and why the editrix would run this tepid pastiche of jagged transitions, cliched tropes, ham-fisted humor and disjointed motifs is beyond me.

DahBoner July 9, 2012 at 10:54 am

CZ&D's first album was the best!!!!

DemmeFatale July 7, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Um…the Red Sox are a BASEBALL team (sorta).

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 10:37 pm

When did this happen!?

not that Radio July 7, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Why was I not informed?

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Mistakes were made.

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 12:14 am

I don't think anybody could have predicted that these people would take 40 athletes and slam them into Fenway Park.

DesertTed July 7, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Shut up you little whiny Occupy Bitch. Sports, video games and movies employ tens or maybe hundreds of thousands of people. If those people don't have those industries they starve and their kids die. It creates community amongst fans pride in communities. Sure, it's shallow and trivial to do things that actually create jobs and benefits but we can't all be authors and "comedians".

Oh, wait. This is irony, huh?

not that Radio July 7, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Early in the morning
just before the dawn
I turn my teevee on
and watch the fuzz

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 11:53 pm

No matter what awful things are on the telly, Eugene,
Careful with that Axe.

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 12:04 am

Music seems to help the pain
Seems to cultivate the brain

C_R_Eature July 8, 2012 at 12:14 am

Just give me your body, I'll give you my brain
It's a Fair Exchange.

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 12:44 am
not that Radio July 7, 2012 at 11:59 pm

instead of paying attention, most of us are watching “The Avengers.”

Are we? That's news to me.

Back when Ken Layne used to abuse us and make us all want to stick our heads in the ovens on a daily basis, he did it with flair. He did it with style. He would rant about the Exurban BigBox Wasteland Fuddruckers Dystopian Nightmare, but he would not actually assume that we were rooting against him, in favor of the nightmare. He knew better than that. We didn't all suddenly wake up yesterday wondering "Hey! What are Ross and Chandler doing tonight? What? There's a revolution in Syria? Who knew? Any sales at Target? I'm hungry. Let's have some Fourth Meal and go shopping."

WTF? Answer to us. You can't just post this crap on Wonkett and then walk away.

C_R_Eature July 8, 2012 at 12:35 am

That is correct. We would also have accepted:

"Listen Kid, we were out saving the world on a professional level, losing years, money and friends lives in the process when you were lost in your father's epididymis searching for a tail, so don't Fuck with us. Shut up and get back to work, WE are."

radio-of-owls July 8, 2012 at 12:50 am

You can't just post this crap on Wonkett and then walk away.

For some who post crap on Wonkett, walking away would represent a very big improvement.

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 12:59 am

Sure, but most of them don't have "admin" status.

radio-of-owls July 8, 2012 at 1:07 am

You say de jure, I say de facto, let's blow the whole thing off.

sati_demise July 8, 2012 at 2:11 am

but who stopped shopping at Wal Mart?

oh right, me 25 years ago

Negropolis July 8, 2012 at 4:47 am

Whoopdie-fuckin-doo. For that, you win a lifetime supply of tofu from your local Whole Foods.

Can you turn down the s.m.u.g., this morning, for about two seconds? We get it; you're the most perfect liberal. Which, BTW, is probably why you're about as snarky and subtle as a brick to the face.

sati_demise July 8, 2012 at 3:54 pm

No, cant eat tofu and dont shop at Whole foods either.

Not a 'liberal'. No. Just anti corporate.

But people have to start somewhere,
I find it really disgusting that teh wokette has to trash the Occupy Movement like the site turned into the ghost of Breitbart.

Negropolis July 8, 2012 at 12:18 am

Could Occupy put up just ONE congressional candidate out of the 435 districts we have? I mean, you can do the other stuff outside the system, too, but can you guys put up ONE candidate to gauge electoral interest in the movement? Just one? I mean, I'd work the phones and the whole nine. Just one protest candidate somewhere, anywhere. I mean, if we can get a few thousand folks to shut down Times Square for an hour, maybe we can get a few thousands folks to march on some doors and man some phones as an exciting experiement, mayhaps?

Jadetiger79 July 8, 2012 at 1:51 am

I'd be right there with you! Just put forth some initiative and have some action going. I'd man phones, knock on doors, you name it. But this nebulous whatevs is wrecking it, mang.

Chet Kincaid July 8, 2012 at 2:14 am

Might I suggest McCotter's abandoned district in Michigan? It seems that there's only a far-right nut, some LaRouchies and some Democrat nobody cares about running in that district.

sati_demise July 8, 2012 at 2:15 am

they do have a few candidates.
yes- why yes they do have some Occupiers running- Jeff Kravitz in Sacramento and Mike LaPointe in the NW, Elizabeth Warren is an Occupier, no doubt. Probably more but too lazy to google on…

PhilippePetain July 9, 2012 at 1:33 pm

It's funny, out here in Portland there was a kid (25 or so) running for Mayor, as a protest bid I guess, and he seems like a genuine, interested guy that is always out front to actually do the protesting, and bringing attention to local issues that affect the poor on a visceral level. I like him. He's got some quixotic charm that could translate to electoral success if he actual knuckled down and tried to build some coalitions, but seeing as how the rest of the movement seems doomed to exemplify every wingnut trope about naive idiotic hippies that there is, I'm guessing that his proximity to the Occupy movement is a hindrance more than anything.

I'd be willing to be that if we had even twenty people like that slowly building a movement, it would be more effective than the 500 or whatever that were getting stoned in the park all month last fall.

smokefilledroommate July 8, 2012 at 1:20 am

Yikes–hate to be a bitch, but I think a letter I wrote to the PMRC when I was fifteen expressed more depth..

Personally, I'd like to have a 'Feelgood Gen Y Nevah-Felt-No-Pain Bubble Friends Care Bear Jah-Che Kony Occupy React on Twitter' Contest that awards all participants with a trophy–even if you come in 1,294,372nd. (Yay for participating, motherfucker!.. of course, only if you require praise.)

One might ask, "Sheesh, what did Gen Y ever do to you?" to which I'd respond "Nothing."–the very point. Or "facebook".

flamingpdog July 8, 2012 at 1:21 am

Should people raging against the machine be hawking their books and records through the giga-corporation Amazon that put mega-corporation Borders out of business and may put mega-corporation Barnes & Noble out of business in the future?

flamingpdog July 8, 2012 at 1:28 am

And who is this mysterious "Admin" person? I clicked on "Admin" and found a total of ten posts in the past four years. You're never gonna build up your p that way, buddy/ie!

smokefilledroommate July 8, 2012 at 1:33 am

It's all fucked up– look at my avatar!

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 1:35 am

Your avatar is gorgeous — what are you talking about?

smokefilledroommate July 8, 2012 at 1:43 am

Dammit– I keep getting that weird random tapestry icon intermittently.. Pardon my derp.

Blueb4sunrise July 8, 2012 at 1:35 am

Don't worry Lee Camp, Jamie Kilstein sucks just as much.

Jadetiger79 July 8, 2012 at 1:47 am

I agree with many of the principles of Occupy and I'm ready to throw in, but…? The lack of focus and failure to keep the momentum going when things were getting real has been very disappointing. So instead of operating as a group, I just stick it to The Man every chance I get and hope Occupy can stop the drum circles and start showing organized initiative. That's when you'll see your support really grow.

sati_demise July 8, 2012 at 2:17 am

did you go help organize any Occupy event? If not, dont complain about what they do or do not do. You are the problem if you do not throw in and then bitch

Chet Kincaid July 8, 2012 at 2:32 am

Oh, go fuck yourself. People who manage to vote, pay taxes and help put the right people in office without fucking around in the mud and flashing hand signs at a drum circle don't need the goddamned lecture.

Chichikovovich July 8, 2012 at 9:13 am

Not that we at Wonkette are opposed to fucking around in the mud.

viennawoods13 July 8, 2012 at 11:07 am

You mean the people who ended up paying for the whole Occupy mess when the camps were moved out? It cost $60,000 (donated by landscapers) to replace the grass in St James Park in Toronto. That's after paying $10,000 overtime to workers just to clean up the mess that got left behind.

sati_demise July 8, 2012 at 3:57 pm

So, some in this Occupy movement have had great success in helping their neighbors beat the banks back and defeat a foreclosure. Maybe you need more information about what the Occupy movement has been up to lately?

Now that is a real victory. Anyone can bitch on a comment thread on line.

Jadetiger79 July 9, 2012 at 2:12 am

Sati, yes I did help with Occupy Atlanta. I'm a professional graphic designer and I donated my design skills then went and distributed flyers. I helped distribute food.

Don't hate. You have no idea what I've done and you look like an asshole for just assuming I've done nothing but complain. You may apologize to me any time now.

PhilippePetain July 9, 2012 at 1:37 pm

I did. And you know what? I left, because it was full of fucking morons.

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 1:56 am
sati_demise July 8, 2012 at 2:20 am

oh yea, the main line hooker who knocked Occupy when she beat down a couple of poor out-of-work 20 somethings for not being financial experts with a trick question.

Being a hooker, that is the only kind of question she can ask of Occupy.

flamingpdog July 8, 2012 at 2:19 am

OT, but Kirsten Boyd (sigh) Johnson hasn't posted since June 16. Did I miss something? Is she on sabbatical? Her honeymoon? The rag?

Chet Kincaid July 8, 2012 at 2:44 am

Sounds like she's trying to avoid you.

Negropolis July 8, 2012 at 4:55 am

Can you stop being such a dick?

Honestly, what the hell is happening around here?

Chichikovovich July 8, 2012 at 8:36 am

People are just upset about the Tom Cruise Katie Holmes split. It's so sad when love dies. And to people of faith, too.

flamingpdog July 8, 2012 at 12:04 pm

I was wrong to say what I did. Kirsten is not on the rag, but apparently someone at the Wonkette is. And I thought he was a decent, thoughtful kind of guy who could deal with lame word play without going off.

I do miss her blog posts.

ElPinche July 8, 2012 at 2:20 am

Mr. Camp, you should go back on Fox & Friends and call them a a "festival of ignorance " again. I wanna see Kilmeade's neck vein pulsate through his overstarched collar.

sati_demise July 8, 2012 at 10:04 pm

why I love Lee Camp

sati_demise July 8, 2012 at 2:25 am
Chet Kincaid July 8, 2012 at 2:36 am

Dear Occupy: Wake me up when you are more effective than Grover Norquist or the Tea Party. Or when you even have a plan to be.

Chet Kincaid July 8, 2012 at 3:06 am

It could have been worse. It could have been Janeane Garofalo.

DahBoner July 9, 2012 at 10:05 am

Nothing less funny than Jeanene Garofalo at a Dead show parking lot…

bobbert July 8, 2012 at 3:33 am

Jesus. The Republicans don't have to do anything. Just give us a weak weekend post, and no snarkable news, and we'll tear each other to shreds.

Juicy_Stalin July 8, 2012 at 4:19 am

For christ's sake, is this supposed to be insightful? You sound like some 16 year old kid wearing Hot Topic JNCOs railing about the jocks and preppies..

The reason Occupy will never succeed is because the ones running it are dullards who never got past the anarchist cookbook and drive more nuanced and evolved opinions away, not because "HURRRR FOOTBAAALLLLLLL"

(I'm not even a fan of football)

PhilippePetain July 9, 2012 at 1:44 pm

It would be great if they realized "Derp derp, oh wait, the guy watching football is the one I need to be reaching out to, instead of maligning. You know, the working class Americans that the right stole from under the left's nose thirty years ago."

Instead, apparently we can just sit around and hate on sports fans and BOOM, socialist paradise. Moronic to say the least.

Extemporanus July 8, 2012 at 6:00 am

Stop hitting yourselves.

DahBoner July 9, 2012 at 10:45 am

Stop smoking cigarettes, also.

Extemporanus July 9, 2012 at 11:48 am

Liberals' inability to stop hitting themselves proves that they're morally weak.

DahBoner July 9, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Cigarettes give you a 1 out of 4 chance at Lung Cancer, which only hurts when you breathe.

Entirely preventable.

My point is the unconcious brain does not assess risk accurately.

Extemporanus July 9, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Taken, and agreed.

Likewise, the overly conscious brain often does not do so either, as evidenced by Mr. Layne and the old post of his my reply referenced: http://wonkette.com/432120/obamas-inability-to-qu

As a side note, my wife's parents both died from lung cancer when they were in their late-40s/early-50s, and neither of them smoked. Perhaps the most apt metaphor lies somewhere therein…

Dashboard Buddha July 8, 2012 at 7:59 am

An earnest but slightly discombobulated effort. However, this work was killed by the shilling of the author's book at the end

Chichikovovich July 8, 2012 at 9:26 am

So is this post the blog equivalent of what happens when the Revolutionary Cadres sieze the TV and radio station in the capitol city? 'Cause it's helping me understand how people could get nostalgic for the bloodthirsty Junta.

kittenface_2000 July 8, 2012 at 9:41 am

Oooh! Tell me more about how I should live my life, Dude Who Is Five Years Younger Than Me!!!!

Occupy=Annoying, Self-Righteous Examples of What Happens When You Grow Up Thinking You're Special. (Guess what — you're not!)

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 8, 2012 at 9:55 am

I feel like I've just been lectured by a sanctimonious, hectoring bell-end.

If the author wants a reason why people who care about the fundamental issues affecting this country think that a lot of the occupy people are cunts then perhaps a glance in the mirror may be in order.

DemmeFatale July 8, 2012 at 11:32 am

Tough room.
Huh, kid?

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 12:16 pm

When your audience consists of a couple hundred Statlers and Waldorfs, it's never going to be easy.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb July 8, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Does that make Newell Kermit?

TribecaMike July 8, 2012 at 11:49 am

Blogging is easy, comedy is hard.

Designer_Radio July 8, 2012 at 12:12 pm

I would say (at least) on average the OWSers are smarter than the TeaTarders, but since their message is (at least perceived as) about holding the oligarchs and plutocrats accountable, well, that's why they don't have a line of oligarchs and plutocrats lining up to buy shiny new tour buses for them, nor to tell them all to vote for their candidates (which don't exist because they don't want candidates who will rein them in).

The only reason a bunch of illiterate white nationalists were so successful is because Dick Armey and the Koch Bros were smart enough to harness their dumb, dumb energy by throwing several metric tons of hundred-dollar bills at them.

All that said, there's no excuse for this OWS movement to be so much more intelligent and so much less hateful than your average Teapuke, and not have affected ANY sort of systemic change in our political system the way the Teabaggers did by stacking the House in 2010.

Maybe I'm wrong about the intelligence. Maybe it's just another (mirror-image opposite) group of rage-stupefied people, but they got no moneyed overlords to steer them to slaughter like cows down the chute because 'moneyed interest oil' and 'throw banksters in prison water' don't mix.

Chet Kincaid July 8, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Stop making sense!

Designer_Radio July 8, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Sorry, 9/11 was an inside job. How's that?

Chet Kincaid July 8, 2012 at 9:27 pm

haha

DahBoner July 9, 2012 at 10:02 am

Sure. Inside Dick "Standdown" Cheney…

Negropolis July 8, 2012 at 10:06 pm

All that said, there's no excuse for this OWS movement to be so much more intelligent and so much less hateful than your average Teapuke, and not have affected ANY sort of systemic change in our political system the way the Teabaggers did by stacking the House in 2010.

I think you kind of explained why they didn't throughout the entire post. As you said, their message doesn't lend itself to being embraced by the people with power. Occupy's entire message is a critique of established power. All of it, Katie. I think that's the major difference between the tea party and Occupy. The tea party almost exclusively critiques established government leaving itself open to be co-opted by business interests. Occupy critiques the entire establishment, corporate to government, leaving no room to be embraced by any power but that of the people , and that power is extremely difficult to harness and direct.

It's left me bewildered. On one hand, I don't think Occupy should change its message simply to be mainlined, because then it'd just look cynical. On the other ahnd, they can't moan about not being mainlined. Maybe, it is what is it and that's all that it is and will be. Maybe, this is all the proof that is needed that it is not the mirror-opposite of the tea party, whose goal is to destroy the system from within the system, itself. Maybe, their success is not to be judged by electoral gains but by simply changing the message as they like to say. And, maybe, that's good enough…but I don't think it will be. They can't be faulted for trying, but they can definitely be faulted for being so damned sanctimonious when presented with criticism. There is no self-reflection.

Designer_Radio July 8, 2012 at 11:07 pm

What I like about OWS, off the top of my head:
– They're ACTUALLY a grass roots movement, not teatard astroturf cooption of a few hateful simpletons by plutocrats.
– They called a lot of attention to themselves and managed to plant "The 99%" (vs. The 1%) idea into the national lexicon, which is really smart populist politicking. It's the liberal version of Frank Luntz's "Death Tax", only not evil.
– They influenced the getting of some other important things done that I KNOW, even if I can't prove it, were attributable to Corporate America being afraid of what happens to their brand when the MSM focuses on a bunch of angry blogger-types focused on Corporate America. Just things like BofA and every other bank trying to suddenly charge $5/month to customers for having a debit card. I'm drawing a blank on other examples like that right now, but I remember last winter more of these things happening. Corporate America hates it when the Poorz unionize and act all French Revolution-y.

Why all the animosity toward OWS from the left? DISAPPOINTMENT IN COMPLETE LACK OF LEADERSHIP and thus blowing your (our) chance at a revival of progressive policy revitalization. Disappointment for them being so generally standoffish with the government as to not affect change through it, which is really the only way to get things done quickly, or as quickly as the teatards have (yes, I know the government was trying to kill or beat OWS at times…)

So maybe OWS is just one of those 'symptoms' of disease in the system, not a cure. American History is littered with them, starts and stops, fits and sputters, before an effective movement finally took shape. Without stacking Congress to form a caucus or coalition, the policy changes that OWS talks about are just talk.

Negropolis July 9, 2012 at 1:39 am

So maybe OWS is just one of those 'symptoms' of disease in the system, not a cure. American History is littered with them, starts and stops, fits and sputters, before an effective movement finally took shape. Without stacking Congress to form a caucus or coalition, the policy changes that OWS talks about are just talk.

This is what I struggle with, and that's the nebulous nature of their mission. If there mission is to accuse and that's it, they did an excellent job of pointing the finger and keeping the finger pointed. If, however, their mission was to change the system, well, they've failed at that pretty miserably. So, I'm not sure quite how to judge and measure them. I tell you, when they got the thousands of folks to occupy Times Square that one night last year, I got goosebumps. They are awesome when it comes to theater, but is that it? More to the point, is that supposed to be it? If it is, than I can judge them on the theater. If they are going to leave it open-ended, I'll judge the other parts of a successful movement.

sati_demise July 8, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Occupy was credited by McKibben of stopping the Keystone Oil pipeline. . Occupyers have defied the banks and saved their neighbors from foreclosure. They showed us all the power of the state now that the police are militarized, they showed us that there really is no difference between the Dems and the Reps. on and on. they have certainly done more than some of these bitchin' yuppies around here.

Designer_Radio July 8, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Agreed on the OWS protests demonstrating the unnerving sharing of national (not local) intelligence and high-coordination of city police depts. Raids would be carried out all at once on the same day across many cities and thousands of miles.

I think highly of McKibben, but I would say the Cornell study and the Repiglican House's forcing of the Administration's hand ON TOP OF a populist movement against the pipeline that wasn't just OWS (I sent at least 2 emails to the Whitehouse on the topic myself) had more to do with the POSTPONEMENT of the pipeline than what OWS did about it.

How many people did OWS save from foreclosure? I don't remember reading much about that — not even the federal gov't could seem to save people from foreclosure with new law crafted specifically for that purpose.

Finally, please don't do that thing where you say the two parties are the same. They're not. You might say the system the two parties operate in is corrupted and needs to be shored up and fixed, but that's different.

About the Democrats:
We are the Big Tent, the only Big Tent. The Republican party hates all minorities so much it's built into almost every plank of its platform. The only minority they automatically and eagerly fellate at every opportunity are the Plutocrats, and bending over sideways for them at all costs makes up the rest of their platform's planks.

See how it's a bad idea to think and say that the two parties are the same when they're not? Misinformed "independent" voters will get that thought even further infested into their minds and decide it doesn't matter if they vote Republican over Democrats, or vote at all. As Republican strategist Paul Weyrich famously said in the early 80's: "I don't want everybody to vote, as a matter of fact, our leverage in the elections quite candidly goes up as the voting populace goes down."

scionkirk July 8, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Wow. You you can stereotype the whole middle class as a bunch of people who care more about a sports game than their sick child, but if I said the Occupy people are a bunch of spoiled brats who think protesting is hanging out and smoking pot and playing hackey sac in a park, you'd go crazy about how actually diverse the movement is. See a common theme here? If that's how you really feel about the mass of Americans who are seeing their lives and economic stability sucked away, why do you even care about saving them? There will (hopefully) come a point in your protesting career when you realize that if you loathe the people you are trying to help, it will be apparent, and no one will listen to you.

lulzmonger July 8, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Oversimplifying faux-Situationist post is made of oversimple & faux-Situation.

One of a critical & context-afflicted bent might dare to wonder exactly where this newfound tide of Yankee Left gonad-integrity was just cold chillaxing on sabbatical back in the summer & fall of 2008, in that little window when there were prime conditions for it to have caught on like a weaponized mutant strain of scabies at a nudist rave?

Or why its OWS component voluntarily echoes the fizzled structureless "DO YO OWN THANG" approach from the 1970s, instead of borrowing from the strong successful "Best Appearance, Best Behavior & Hardcore Focus On Crystal-Clear Goals " approach from the 1950s?

{ Pee Ess : To quote a previous Wonketteratchik, NO U …… lulzmonger (PBUM) is keeping track of exactly zero sports, has zero boob tubes & sees circa five feature-length movies per annum. }

Negropolis July 8, 2012 at 9:48 pm

To be fair, it'd seem to me that Occupy wasn't even a twinkle in its mother's eye back in 2008. It seems like direct response to the Tea Party – and actually more a response to the response of the Tea Party to the president's policies – even if no one wants to admit that. It seems as if every segment of society save for a few intellectual watchdogs were caught flat-footed by the recession.

lulzmonger July 9, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I used to be one of those Angry Young ManBoys myself back in the day … the Vancouver Peace Camp I spent weeks in protesting Desert Storm was essentially the microscopic rudimentary great-grandma of OWS. Did NOT catch on (despite epic levels of praise from the humungous crowds at every Official Genuine Authorized Anti-War Mobile Picnic March/Rally), got us burned-out, terrorized, frozen & half-starved, accomplished precisely Sweet Fanny Adams. Noble anti-barbarian activism & futile wankfest FUBAR – yes indeed, you CAN have that both ways, kids!

What REALLY rustles my jimmies is that there was even a point a few months in where in spite of themselves, OWS spawned a major global echo of solidarity protests – a bonafide golden opportunity on a platter … & proceeded to blithely piss it away.

Keep relying on pulling miracles out of your ass long enough, & sooner or later all you're going to be holding is a steaming triple-coiler & a surplus of chagrin.

sati_demise July 8, 2012 at 10:10 pm

How long did it take the civil rights movement to accomplish anything. You all have ADD as far as social movements and history

lulzmonger July 9, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Gaining popular support wasn't a walk in the park for them, to put it mildly – but even after their organizers started getting killed, they still got shit done.

How long did it take the Arab Spring?
How long did it take East Germany, the Warsaw Pact countries, or the ex-USSR?
How long did it take the Ukrainian Orange movement?

A lot of that ADD has been going around among all us sheeple, it seems.

Negropolis July 9, 2012 at 11:19 pm

This is not even to mention that the civil rights movement institutionalized, which is why it was able to grind on for as long as it did. Martin Luther King, Jr., Joseph Lowery and Co. didn't just appear out of thin air. They came from institutions that helped guide the disperate factions of the movement.

imissopus July 8, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Gosh, I missed this post because I haven't been around much this week. Much too busy with some work and an anxiety attack caused by me finding out the only woman I have ever loved recently married someone else, and maybe it happens and I could better direct my angst by yelling at the nearest BofA branch, but goddamn it was really a kick in the nuts and I just had to deal with it and not spend a few days thinking about the time six months ago a bunch of kids got pepper-sprayed by a Security Guard School reject up at UC Davis and the larger sociological implications of our growing class and wealth divides. If this week I can manage to not think about the lost love of my life every fifteen seconds with each occasion bringing a fresh wave of mourning and grief and regret, I'll try to think more about whatever the hell it is this kid wants us to be thinking about.

Negropolis July 8, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Sounds rough. Not to ptry too much, but was this someone you knew in the past and lost contact with, or someone you interacted with, currently?

imissopus July 8, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Oh man, it's a long story but I'll try to shorten it. She used to be my best friend. Then a few years ago I fell ass-over-teakettle in love with her. First time in my life I'd ever felt that strongly about someone. Unfortunately she saw me as the brotherly friend guy and I couldn't change her mind. My feelings for her got so painful and she was so uncomfortable knowing about it that we mutually agreed to drop out of each other's lives indefinitely. That was four years ago and aside from an email or two we had not spoken at all. Can't speak for her, but I never tried to renew the friendship because I just thought it would be awkward, and as much as I missed our friendship I didn't want to go back to the same-old same-old.

Then recently we were back in touch with each other (long story as to why) and that was when I found out she got married two months ago. Really just knocked me on my ass. I could probably go on for a few thousand words as to possibly why, but eh, it's probably boring. I'm prone to anxiety in stressful emotional situations, and this qualifies so I'm just going to have to ride it out.

DemmeFatale July 8, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Hugs.

Negropolis July 9, 2012 at 1:28 am

Then recently we were back in touch with each other (long story as to why) and that was when I found out she got married two months ago. Really just knocked me on my ass.

I really don't want to sound insensitive, but you had to know this was eventually a possibility, right? I realize it doesn't hurt any less to find it out, but I hope you can eventually come to the point of finding happiness – or at least acceptance – in her own happiness, and I wish you all the best and even better. You can't make someone love you when they don't, and to try will only destroy you. You will find someone that loves you as much as you love them; the hard part will be letting yourself do that, but it will happen.

You sound like you have a lot to give, but work on not letting anyone steal away your happiness or completely losing yourself in someone else. You are worthy of happiness with or without someone.

imissopus July 9, 2012 at 2:11 am

Oh sure, I knew it was a possibility. I just didn't think I would care. It's been four years, life has moved on, all that blah blah blah. But the news just seemed to set off some sort of physical anxiety in me that I'm at a loss to explain. Maybe there is something about the way things happened four years ago that I never really came to terms with, or maybe it's because of other things in my life not going smoothly so this just is one more thing to angst over. I don't know.

Thanks for the kind words, dude. I appreciate it.

sati_demise July 8, 2012 at 10:01 pm
DahBoner July 9, 2012 at 10:28 am

According to time-management studies, Americans spend the majority of their voluntary leisure time in imaginary activities, such as reading, playing video games and watching TV.

I suspect even back in hunter-gatherer days, the majority of leisure time was spent around the campfire at night listening to imaginary stories about celebrity cavemen…

brainspeculum July 11, 2012 at 9:37 am

Pepper spray – the new opium of the masses.

tweet, tweet, tweet, friend, friend, friend, blog, blog, blog. Change the world? What?

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 5:03 pm

"In my day we didn't have fellatio. We had to do everything by hand."

ttommyunger July 7, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Nothing wrong with that.Sent from my iPhone

BoatOfVelociraptors July 8, 2012 at 10:01 am

Ah, the teenage years.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 7:01 pm

By my guest, by all means! I have Tangueray Rangpur and it's just the ticket.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Violence isn't the only thing that kills Fascists.

el_donaldo July 7, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Nice. I keep a plastic jug of Gilbey's in the freezer. It's not fancy gin, but you know, volume.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Volume's good.

not that Radio July 7, 2012 at 11:05 pm

"Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?"

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 11:12 pm

"You're gonna have to answer to the Cocoa-Cola Company."

flamingpdog July 7, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Not if you're Chris Christie.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Volume's everything if you're Chris Christie.

C_R_Eature July 8, 2012 at 12:21 am

Regardless, we have to make sure that the smoking gun doesn't turn out to be a mushroom cloud over the left field dugout.

radio-of-owls July 8, 2012 at 12:30 am

Then how do you explain the President's Daily Brief on opening day?

Entire Red Sox lineup determined to strike out.

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 12:27 am

When will we finally acknowledge that we created this Green Monster?

radio-of-owls July 8, 2012 at 12:40 am

It's long past time for the MLB to ban the Blowback Pitch.

C_R_Eature July 8, 2012 at 12:37 am

I was looking forward to it!

C_R_Eature July 8, 2012 at 12:40 am

OK, you've covered your ass now.

Now watch this opening pitch!

C_R_Eature July 8, 2012 at 11:16 am

It's hard to pick a favorite in what's become one of my most favorite Wonkette posts ever, but I think this one's it.
I hereby award you the Gold Medallion and Purple Sash of Threadwin for this one.
Congratulations, Owls. Good show!

C_R_Eature July 8, 2012 at 12:43 am

There are known greens. These are things we know that are green. There are known ungreens. That is to say, there are things that we know aren't green. But there are also unknown ungreens. There are things we don't know we don't know aren't green.

C_R_Eature July 8, 2012 at 12:53 am

My belief is that, when the Red Sox enter Yankee Stadium we will in fact be greeted as Liberators.

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 12:55 am

I don't do quagmires.

radio-of-owls July 8, 2012 at 12:57 am

There are credible reports that the Steinbrenners are reprocessing spent nuclear A-rods.

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 1:04 am

A little tough talk in the midst of a game or as part of a baseball season cannot obscure a record of 30 years of being on the wrong side of defense issues.

radio-of-owls July 8, 2012 at 1:05 am

لعنة من بامبينو

C_R_Eature July 8, 2012 at 1:05 am
not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 1:08 am

الحلو كارولين
الأوقات الجيدة لا يبدو على ما يرام

C_R_Eature July 8, 2012 at 1:09 am

"Base-ball bin bery bery good to me"
– Jorge` Boosh

radio-of-owls July 8, 2012 at 1:15 am

الله أكبر، دستين خير

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 1:28 am
not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 1:36 am
MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 1:47 am

SO, join in the folk song army
Guitars are the weapons we bring
To the fight against poverty, war and injustice
Ready, Aim, SING!

LionHeartSoyDog July 8, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I know, C_R_E_.
Human Joy, Love, Happiness also kill fascism.
But their Hate Cult will not go quietly into their miserable night.
Best Wishes.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 8, 2012 at 10:09 am
Designer_Radio July 8, 2012 at 10:18 am

*riiing*
"Is it about my cube?"

BoatOfVelociraptors July 8, 2012 at 10:28 am

Giggity.

Designer_Radio July 8, 2012 at 10:31 am

I love it when the person who writes a report like that doesn't try to sound like the Smartest Person In The World. Makes it so much easier to 'understand a story' instead of 'slog through a technical document'.

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 10:32 am

Last time I was in Boston with some colleagues, the rental car company gave us a Nissan Cube. We giggled like schoolchildren for 6 days.

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 10:57 am

Nothing beats Plain English. Did you hear that, Thaddeus McCotter?

not that Radio July 8, 2012 at 11:24 am

Seconded. Motion passes.

radio-of-owls July 8, 2012 at 3:59 pm

I feel like I'm on the top of the world!

C_R_Eature July 8, 2012 at 11:29 am

Your
"I don't think anybody could have predicted that these people would take 40 athletes and slam them into Fenway Park "
came in a close second and was, I think, what really set this thread in motion.
A Golden Medallion Pin of High Snark Deployment Appreciation is hereby awarded to you!

Designer_Radio July 8, 2012 at 12:21 pm

You had 6 whole days to move your cube, lucky!

LionHeartSoyDog July 8, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I voted for Obama in2008, and donated money to his campaign, because i bought into the 'change' thing.

I still haven't seen an explanation for WT7, and how it fell symmetrically straight down into itself, from an alleged fire in one corner of the basement.

LionHeartSoyDog July 8, 2012 at 3:30 pm

WT7 was hit by an invisible plane?

C_R_Eature July 8, 2012 at 4:07 pm
C_R_Eature July 8, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Peace be upon you and Best Wishes.
Take care not to become that which you fight.

LionHeartSoyDog July 8, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Many Thanks, C_R_E_ ~

"… 5) You must strive for daily successes, even if small…, and at all costs retain the moral ascendancy."

- Uncle Vladimir

Negropolis July 8, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Have you honestly not read the cumulative things that brought down WTC 7? Really? I don't care who the hell you voted for, BTW.

Negropolis July 8, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Yeah, the WTC 7 totally didn't sustain any damage from the collapse of the North Tower. The Jews did 9/11, right? Get the fuck outta here.

LionHeartSoyDog July 8, 2012 at 11:46 pm

I've read the gummint line.
And, I didn't tell you who i voted for, unless you are also Chet K.

LionHeartSoyDog July 8, 2012 at 11:52 pm

Well, i will stop trying to dialogue with You.
I get enough rudeness from the trolls at Huffpaol and National Pentagon Radio.

GhostBuggy July 9, 2012 at 9:35 am

That's the great thing about conspiracies, isn't it? Anyone in a position to know with authority how a thing happened is obviously in on the Big Lie. Why, it's almost as if conspiracy proponents have found a way to reject data and testimony without actually having to address any of it.

Of course, that also sounds like a conspiracy.

DahBoner July 9, 2012 at 10:52 am

Don't forget to eat your greens (Collard, turnip, beet, Kale, but not too much spinach)….

not that Radio July 9, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Aw, man. I was really hoping that would contain the fabled Chet Kinkaide Ken Layne Morally Weak Parody that supposedly got him temporarily banned. You don't happen to know where that is, do you? Sure, I could brute-force search all of Chet's comments, but I have neither the time nor the inclination to do that.

and btw, now it looks like one of these. There are herds of them that roam the roadside on the drive between my two work sites, and they haunt my dreams. Mostly, they just follow cows around, because cows know where the water is. And sometimes, they try to stand in the shadow of a utility pole. A dozen of these cute fuckers, face-to-butt, in the shadow of a utility pole.

Extemporanus July 10, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I looked, but alas, to no avail.

Also AWOL: My "Editor Layne's Inability to Quit Blogging Proves He's Morally Weak" comment — made on said Editor's first post after swearing that he was DONE WITH THIS SHIT — which had me a bit banhammer-shy for a time as well.

And BTW: Antelope are flamboyantly gay ruminants, and cows nothing more than stag hags. (It gets better!)

not that Radio July 10, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Or, perhaps, drag bags.

I fear that your's and Chet's timeless comments have been airbrushed out of history, Kerensky-style. Some day, Ken will look back upon all he has wrought, regret it, and unseal the records.

Extemporanus July 11, 2012 at 7:17 am

UREA! I FOUND IT!

I was fixin' to be pissed that my jest disappeared, but I guess my query wasn't clear, and now I just shed a tear.

*dramatic sniff*

Also, too, beating a drag bagged** horse.

(Chet's chiding? Totes Tunguska…)

**[not that Neilist?!]

not that Radio July 11, 2012 at 8:33 am

That's funny — I used to suspect that you were Neilist. I guess a little bit of Neilist lives on in all of us.

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