SNOOKI PROBABLY  6:45 pm July 6, 2012

Chris Christie Now Getting Into Random Bum Fights With Jersey Shore Passersby

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Nope, not kidding. The shouty New Jersey Governor is now yelling at any constituents strolling the scenic Jersey Shore who might happen to take issue with his stance on screaming at teachers (i.e., that he is for it). TMZ has the exciting footage of what looks to be the corpulent mister preparing to chest bump the man who dared to attack him with the harsh words “Nah, just take care of the teachers!”

The best thing about this video, besides the fact that New Jersey saw fit to elect a man who makes George Steinbrenner, Bobby Knight, and Tony Soprano combined look like models of gentility, is how tiny and terrified that anthropomorthized ice cream cone looks in his giant paw. IMA EATCHU VANILLA SOFTEE RAWR! Burp, you are delicious.

[TMZ]

 
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{ 348 comments }

Barb July 6, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Oh Chris, when will you learn that no one really wins in a hot dog eating contest? Give your gullet a rest for a while.

Ugh, this fatso must poop like a King.

sullivanst July 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Given how Elvis spent his last moments, he may be pooping like The King before he knows it.

Neoyorquino July 6, 2012 at 7:21 pm

A little less constipation, a little more action please…

not that Raul Castro July 7, 2012 at 9:17 am

All this cheese and gravy ain't satisfactionin' me…

DustBowlBlues July 6, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Or a Sumo wrestler.

BerkeleyBear July 7, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Sumo who ate or looked like Gov. Cheeze Whiz wouldn't last long. Yeah, some of the grand champions are huge, but those guys also have a lot of muscle, mainly eat a restrictive (but high caloric) diet and get daily exercise, unlike softee there.

rmjagg July 7, 2012 at 1:51 am

a coven of kings

dogscantlookup July 7, 2012 at 2:01 am

I Drink Your milkshake!
gov sammacez sez, so sez we all!

Monsieur_Grumpe July 6, 2012 at 6:50 pm

My Dog, could you imagine having this jerk for a neighbor?

smokefilledroommate July 6, 2012 at 6:52 pm

I'd give him a Whitman's sampler every week and fuhgeddaboudit.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 7:03 pm

In some Jersey towns, this guy is the keeper.

HogeyeGrex July 6, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Neighbor? Hell. How about Governor?

Saddest of all is that he's not even close to being the most awful of the rancid, weeping cock-chancres out there "serving" as Republican Governors of States.

FlownOver July 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Sam Brownback thanks you for the vote of confidence.

NellCote71 July 6, 2012 at 11:01 pm

As does Rick Perry.

spinozasgod July 7, 2012 at 12:39 am

and a wink and nod from walker..

BerkeleyBear July 7, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Yeah, he just wants to bankrupt the state, eliminate public works and eat everyone else's piece of pie (because he knows that "growing the pie" talk is just silly). At least he's not actively disenfranchising voters like in Texas, Wisconsin, Kansas, Florida or Pennsylvania. Or shutting the state's only abortion provider (Mississippi) and prosecuting anyone associated in any way with the murdered Dr. George Tiller (Kansas). Not the people associated with the murderer, mind you, but the victim.

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 1:17 am

No, wut? Who's prosecuting Tiller's friends and family?

BerkeleyBear July 8, 2012 at 6:32 pm

The doctor he used to get the bullshit "psychiatric opinion" required by Kansas' bullshit laws to approve late term abortions just lost her license because the Brownback administration thinks that the real priority is making sure no fetus goes unsaved. Basically the model for legislation designed to ensure no doctor will ever be able to legally do late term abortions and/or punish anyone who tries.

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 1:17 am

No, he's actually pretty good compared to, say, Nikki Haley, or Rick Scott, or Mattress Mary Fallin, or Bobby Jindal, or … I'm outa breath.

La_Cieca July 7, 2012 at 1:34 am

I live in New York state, so I do.

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 1:16 am

I'd send him a dozen donuts daily till he plotzed.

smokefilledroommate July 6, 2012 at 6:51 pm

It could have gotten truly ugly had someone attempted to remove the vanilla cone from his hand. I mean really ugly.

OzoneTom July 6, 2012 at 7:10 pm

True, I had never considered that I might someday feel sorry for an ice-cream cone.

And I am not sure about that "take care of" the teachers exhortation. There are various interpretations of that phrase. Especially in New Jersey.

rickmaci July 6, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Wish the cone had stood its ground and choked him.

GunToting[Redacted] July 6, 2012 at 6:51 pm

I'd say "Pick on somebody your own size," but I think the ASPCA and the fine folks at Seaworld might not let Shamu visit New Jersey.

actor212 July 6, 2012 at 8:04 pm

He seems awfully short…I wonder if he's related to Gimli?

starfanglednut July 6, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Sorry, but there is no comparison. Gimli has integrity and heart.

rmjagg July 7, 2012 at 1:52 am

let him fight the hindenburg

not that Raul Castro July 7, 2012 at 9:19 am
Monsieur_Grumpe July 6, 2012 at 6:51 pm

So Vice Presidential No?

Goonemeritus July 6, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Shouldn’t Governor Christie be really really jolly?

Barb July 6, 2012 at 6:53 pm

He's more girth than mirth.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 6, 2012 at 9:34 pm

More eclair than fair?

Jeffer July 7, 2012 at 2:15 am

Takes the whoopie out of a whoopie pie

Hey, where did Scooter go? Gosh I miss his ALL CAPS fun!

Barb July 7, 2012 at 2:19 am

Scooter kissed the big boot.

mwittier July 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Every day is Chrismuss fer Chris Christie.

weejee July 6, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Needz moar fruit cake, urp…

smokefilledroommate July 6, 2012 at 11:36 pm

He's a regular Jersey Santa.

Nostrildamus July 6, 2012 at 6:51 pm

I wouldn't fight Christie's bum.

scvirginia July 6, 2012 at 6:58 pm

It would win if it could find you.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 6, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Given the dent in space time it creates, you will find it.

sullivanst July 6, 2012 at 7:12 pm

You're not in its weight class, by a few divisions, I suspect.

HogeyeGrex July 6, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Yeah, A few Divisions. Like the 82nd Airborne and the 1st Armored.

johnnymeatworth July 6, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Wow, I hope that ice cream cone tides him over till he can get to the cotton candy stand.

SorosBot July 6, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Hell, he makes Bruce Banner look like a man who can control his temper. BULK SMASH!

sullivanst July 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

I'm glad my boss just left, because that one mad me laugh hard.

Mittens Howell, III July 6, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Me too!

BULK make puny Mittens man laugh at his compuuter.

mcrummett July 6, 2012 at 6:53 pm

No, no! Not "take care of" the teachers!

Goonemeritus July 6, 2012 at 6:55 pm

New Jersey you are going to have to vote this guy out he is way too fat to hire a prostitute.

SorosBot July 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm

I'm guessing Mrs. Christie must always go on top, otherwise the poor woman would be crushed.

And trying to find little Chris under his FUPA would not be fun.

DustBowlBlues July 6, 2012 at 10:58 pm

" FUPA"
No idea what that means, but I'm guessing it includes corpulence and something dirty.

trampndirtdown July 7, 2012 at 12:26 am
LionHeartSoyDog July 7, 2012 at 3:30 am

Apron of fat overhanging the junk…

Antispandex July 6, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Yeah, that's true, but who would dare to vote against him?

Crank_Tango July 6, 2012 at 9:32 pm

"…we're gonna need a bigger hooker."

Negropolis July 6, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Oh, this is SO full of win. lol

NellCote71 July 6, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Or a rentboy. He is a Republican, after all.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 6, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Must. Not. Do. Fat Joke.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarg!
Man oh man is he really testing those pants. I'm guessing 556lbs per square inch!

*shame*

OzoneTom July 6, 2012 at 7:14 pm

True though. That fabric must have more tensile strength than Kevlar.

DustBowlBlues July 6, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Two words: elastic waistband.

rmjagg July 7, 2012 at 1:53 am

hope they're not cheaply made polyester …

Blunderthing July 6, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Big fat man. Him so mean. Him some big fat mean machine. Him so bully, him so tough. Him so full of his own shit stuff.

mwittier July 6, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Him so vulgar. Him so bluff. Don't him get we've had enough?

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 1:23 am

I like this song.

privatejoker77 July 6, 2012 at 6:56 pm

If people get him mad enough he'll probably have a coronary soon. I'm not sure that's a bad thing. It's always a good idea to alienate half the eligible voters in your state, Gov.

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 1:24 am

Should we start sending him fat jokes via snail mail?

WhatTheHeck July 6, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Lemme see here. Overweight. Hot temper. High Blood pressure.
This is a recipe no one should be preparing for dinner.

SorosBot July 6, 2012 at 7:16 pm

And it's in 95-degree heat.

With all the sweating that must produce, I don't think I'd want to smell Angry Gov.

Spurning Beer July 6, 2012 at 8:47 pm

"I wash myself with a rag on a stick."

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 1:24 am

In his case, it's a TENT on a stick.

smokefilledroommate July 6, 2012 at 6:57 pm

What Christie heard was something entirely different. He heard, "Hey lard ass, why don't you go back to Arthur Treacher's?!"

BoatOfVelociraptors July 6, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Fat man with a cone, don't enter his zone
He'll shout at you loud, keeping them teachers down!

UHH! Jersey!

weejee July 6, 2012 at 7:45 pm

BoV perhaps Christie needs to be tickled with a wild, long, far pointer?

♪♫ C, C, writer
oh C, what you have done ♫♪

BaldarTFlagass July 6, 2012 at 6:58 pm

It would have probably been better for all concerned if he had never watched a single episode of the Sopranos.

sullivanst July 6, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Capicola libel!

DemmeFatale July 6, 2012 at 8:14 pm

I wish those drunk sweaty goons shouting:"we gotcha back guvnah!" had never watched the Sopranos.

coolhandnuke July 6, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Just lure him with a foot-long hot dog over to the Boardwalk and then let physics, mass, old timber, gravity and sloth take over.

rmjagg July 7, 2012 at 1:55 am

the tide will do the rest

redarmyzombie July 7, 2012 at 3:19 am

You FOOL! If we did that, the Atlantic would undergo an ecological disaster of immeasurable proportions!

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 1:26 am

Sea level would rise ten meters overnight.

redarmyzombie July 9, 2012 at 3:44 am

The release of contaminants would create dead zones along the entire eastern seaboard.

sullivanst July 6, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Man, it's a damn good thing he has a job with excellent healthcare benefits, I mean, his blood pressure must be through the roof even when he's calm, then you add anger issues? He'd be uninsurable in the private market.

calliecallie July 6, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Hmmm. Why then do the Republicans want to repeal Obamacare? I smell a conspiracy.

MissTaken July 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Dammit, now I want an ice cream cone. Too bad Christie ate them all.

SorosBot July 6, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Great, now you're trying to make me hungry too. And I'm trying not to gain weight!

scvirginia July 6, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Just keep watching the video.

ChernobylSoup July 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

All your ice cream are belong to me.

Negropolis July 6, 2012 at 10:42 pm

I had a Superscoop (red, yellow, and blue) cone, the other day. So, so, so very good. And, the week before I had a raspberry sorbet. I used to hate ice cream.

scvirginia July 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Anger management, hunger management… whatever.

Reginald_Perrin July 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

I thought fat people were supposed to be jolly.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Just moments before, Christie "happened" to run into an IHOP and ate everything in sight. But is that news? No, because in Jersey that's a dog bites man story.

edgydrifter July 6, 2012 at 7:03 pm

I hope Mitt picks C-Fat for his ticket, because the vice presidential debate against Biden would be truly epic.

sullivanst July 6, 2012 at 7:17 pm

That matchup has "massive hemorrhagic stroke" written all over it.

BarackMyWorld July 6, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Remember when Mitt said he wanted a VP like Dick Cheney?

If he was basing that on likelihood of having a heart attack, I think he's found his man. Sheesh.

Mittens Howell, III July 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

also, likely to eat children in a tight spot. Check

NellCote71 July 6, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Yes, it would be a big fuckin' deal.

mwittier July 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

How can someone who looks so much like a Christmas ornament be so mean?
He should just go about making cake-delighted Oliver Hardy twiddly-fingers, all the damn day.

Jus_Wonderin July 7, 2012 at 10:23 am

Oh my. Funny.

coolhandnuke July 6, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Newest Jersey Shore member–"The Situateaton."

Comrade Wingtardd July 6, 2012 at 7:12 pm

I must say, Christie brings out the best in the Wonkette Commentariat. I've been sitting here giggling for the last 20 minutes.

DemmeFatale July 6, 2012 at 8:16 pm

I know, it's been a funny day, hasn't it, bro?

starfanglednut July 6, 2012 at 8:45 pm

I want this day on my mattress!

BenGleck July 7, 2012 at 11:50 am

What? You read slow.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 8:52 pm

He does. But it hurts.

serjjj July 9, 2012 at 7:54 pm

I agree. Gov Crispy Creme is the best thing to happen to Wonkette since the Failin Palins hit the stage.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Is America ready for Gingrich or Christie in 2016, land mass-wise?

flamingpdog July 6, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Just don't anyone let him dive into the Atlantic – the rise in sea level could take out most of Floriduh.

Wait …..

starfanglednut July 6, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Or let him go to California. The coastline would crack along the San Andreas fault and fall into the sea.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 6, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Stick with the San Jacinto fault line. San Diego, not San Francisco.

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 1:28 am

So much for Twoo Lerve.

Antispandex July 6, 2012 at 7:16 pm

I think that for a guy from Jersey, he's the very picture of civility. Two pictures, in fact.

rickmaci July 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Jaba the Gov is one ugly sack of rotting pus. And by that I am referring to his foul personality.

DustBowlBlues July 6, 2012 at 11:02 pm

"Jaba the Gov"

Perfect.

flamingpdog July 6, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Some politicians don't support their own party platform. I doubt there is any platform that could support Chris Christie for very long.

Maman July 6, 2012 at 7:31 pm

As a fat chick, it bugs me that we make fun of him for his weight. Why? He's a thin-skinned prick and bully and that is target enough.

OzoneTom July 6, 2012 at 7:37 pm

"It's funny because he's fat!"

HogeyeGrex July 6, 2012 at 8:14 pm

As a guy toting around an extra *hmmhnhnhmmh* pounds myself, I'll still make fun of him for being fat. I'll make more fun of him for being a horrible excuse for a human being, but that doesn't take his enormity off the menu, so to speak.

Designer_Radio July 6, 2012 at 11:03 pm

I gain about 50 lbs when I revert to my usual lazy self (up to about 260lbs), then I spend another year and a half working them off to the point that I actually have a healthy self-image (about 210-220lbs). Then I decide (delude) that my work here is done and repeat the shame-cycle of The Fattening and the Fittening. Been doing this for about a decade.

I'll still make fun of Christie's fatness and not feel too hypocritical.

Also too, Protip (or at least give me "been there done that tip"): If you're sick of being a fatso, those Jillian Michaels DVDs actually work. Get "30 Day Shred" for starters, start doing it every day (or at least 5 days/wk) after drinking a bunch of coffee, and stick with it for 3 months as your first goal. You'll notice pounds coming off. I'm a guy, but I can't keep up with a lot of the girls – but that's okay — just do the damn thing at a sustainable pace. And there's always a "hard girl" and an "easy girl". I just do what the easy girl does most days. If I'm particularly caffeinated – I do more. This makes you sweat, and then it makes the rest of the day go smoother.

comrad_darkness July 7, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Or you can just cut out the sugar. All the sugar. And the carbs. And eat regularly. Three normal meals (not restaurant meals!) and two satisfying snacks like nuts or cheese. No beer, no sodas (even diet!!). The pounds just fucking disappear.

Designer_Radio July 7, 2012 at 2:40 pm

2 questions:

1.) How do you cut out the carbs? I don't almost ever eat at restaurants, thanks to my wife who makes almost everything from scratch, but carbs are a major part of my diet – from the homemade granola (whole grains/raisins/honey/etc.) I eat several cups of per day to the homemade breadsticks she makes for a side to our salads…

Do you have to just eat meat??? Because that's undoable and too expensive. How do you cut out the carbs in a reasonable way?

2.) I have a diet soda once a day — Does that really make a big difference?

SayItWithWookies July 6, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Thank you. It's not his size that makes him execrable, it's his horrible bullying sissy-ass dish-it-out-but-can't-take-it personality.

Chet Kincaid July 6, 2012 at 10:23 pm

I am a fat guy as well, but I am in denial.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Sorry. The Ugliest part of his body is clearly his Mind and that's what really offends me.

not that Raul Castro July 6, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Christie uses his fat as a political prop, much the way Sarah Palin uses her prop. We mock him because it's political, not because he's fat. Hasn't the lesson of Jack Stuef taught us anything?

Negropolis July 6, 2012 at 10:44 pm

I think when you're a jerk, it opens up ALL avenues for criticism. I guess the lesson is to not be a jerk, or at least try not to enjoy it so much. That'ot even to get in to, as others have pointed out, above, that he quite literally uses his weight to attempt to intimidate people.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 11:30 pm

I'm too busy dancing the Beer Belly Polka to notice.

ASHLEIGH_Joe July 7, 2012 at 8:03 am

Truffle Shuffle Libel!

Goonemeritus July 7, 2012 at 6:46 am

Progressive fat is sexier. Ok I’m not proud of taking cheap shots like fat jokes especially in a country that statistically is made up of a population that is 50% overweight. I myself could stand to be taller say 7’6” to make my BMI closer to ideal. But you have to admit a 500lbs guy surrounded by a security detail challenging a stranger to a fight is ridicules.

frostbitefalls July 7, 2012 at 10:20 am

I agree with you.

HistoriCat July 7, 2012 at 12:19 pm

I know what you're saying about making fun of his weight … but it's awful hard to ignore when he's being obnoxious while clutching an ice cream cone.

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 1:29 am

You may have a few pounds or twenty, but Chris has a few HUNDRED extra pounds. You and me, we have avoirdupois.

Chris Christie has *gravity.*

alteredimages July 8, 2012 at 3:13 am

I loved Rene Avoridupois on Deep Space Nine, and even on Benson.

glamourdammerung July 6, 2012 at 7:31 pm

This will all stop the same day he is out of office and loses the security detail.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 7:33 pm

He'll always have Jesus as his bodyguard. Since he became governor, the press seems to have decided to forget about what a right wing fundamentalist the guy is.

chascates July 6, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Bipolar disorder is almost as big a burden as being a fat ass. Together, it's just sad.

alteredimages July 8, 2012 at 3:11 am

Well at his size he probably does qualify for his own poles and equator.

shortsandpants July 6, 2012 at 7:34 pm

At least somebody finally ate the cast of Jersey Shore.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 6, 2012 at 9:47 pm

With that much grease, his DNA should be analyzed for the genes that prevent heart attacks.

flamingpdog July 6, 2012 at 7:35 pm

I'm not much of a movie buff, but when I saw the Fatman getting all riled up, it made me immeidately think of this.

viennawoods13 July 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Give him a break… he's just mass communicatin'!

alteredimages July 8, 2012 at 3:09 am

Perhaps you mean the Troma film Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid? Real movie. I shit you not.

Fred_Wertham_Jr July 6, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Why is there no one yelling, "Pick on someone your own size, ya fat fuck!"

You disappoint me, New Jersey.

BarackMyWorld July 6, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Just stating the obvious…but someone in Christie's position should consider not letting himself get so worked up. It could really have a negative impact on his health.

And by "position," I mean "pants size."

(edit: Not making fun of him for being fat, just saying the combination of weight and temperament aren't a good combo.)

MissTaken July 6, 2012 at 7:41 pm

i wonder how many hits the YouTube clip of him having a coronary while yelling at his constituents will bring.

HogeyeGrex July 6, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Probably even more than the one of him getting kicked in the yarbles.

LetUsBray July 6, 2012 at 9:36 pm

All of 'em, Katie?

MissTaken July 6, 2012 at 7:43 pm

TMZ stands for "Thirty Mile Zone". That's the scientific term for the grasp of Christie's gravitational force.

flamingpdog July 6, 2012 at 7:51 pm

You think the guv will ever consider the gravity of his position?

Crank_Tango July 6, 2012 at 9:36 pm

I thought it was a diameter!

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 7:45 pm

In this week's news…

1) Some form of the Higgs boson particle has been discovered, which is bound to reveal amazing things about mass, energy, and other fundamental properties of the universe

2) #3 Roger Federer defeated #1 Novak Djokovic in a Wimbledon semi-final match this morning, and if Federer wins the final he will regain the #1 spot, further solidifying his status as the greatest tennis player of all time

3) New Jersey governor Chris Christie insults another taxpaying citizen

4) One of these things is not like the others.

flamingpdog July 6, 2012 at 7:59 pm

It's #2, because the other two reveal amazing things about mass.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 8:08 pm

It ain't over 'til the fat guvnor sings.

finallyhappy July 7, 2012 at 5:25 am

excellent answer-you get the Macarthur

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 8:19 pm

# 3 would only be News if New Jersey governor Chris Christie didn't insult somebody.

Negropolis July 6, 2012 at 10:51 pm

I hope Murray wins. I can respect Roger's game, but I've never liked him as a person. Same with Tiger Woods. In fact, Murray's not exactly known for his suny disposition, either. Djokovic seems to be the only one of the three top players that seems to genuinely enjoy his sport, win or lose.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 11:32 pm

A win by Murray would be great for the UK, but when do they ever win anything? By the by, you do not want to meet my wife. Ever. If and when Roger wins tears will be shed profusely in this household.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Well, as long as Murry can keep from being turned into a Scotsman, I think he's got a good shot.

TribecaMike July 7, 2012 at 12:01 am

In a post-match interview the other day, some ESPN noodge described him as a Brit, and Murray glared at him and filled him in on how Scots feel about that. It was highlarious.

Negropolis July 7, 2012 at 12:20 am

I wish the media, there, would leave him alone about that. People should be able to choose how they want to be indentified. If he doesn't want to be a Brit, he doesn't want to be a Brit, and they need to leave it at that. This will all be a moot point, anyway, when Scotland formally cuts tied with the UK, anyway.

TribecaMike July 7, 2012 at 12:15 am

Negropolis — I humbly disagree. Roger is hungry to regain the #1 ranking.

Negropolis July 7, 2012 at 12:19 am

I'm sure he is, but wanting to be the most successful in any field and enjoying the game don't always go hand-in-hand. Just me, but I can't enjoy someone who isn't enjoying themselves.

TribecaMike July 7, 2012 at 12:33 am

Gotcha. My nephew asked me this morning, "Where are all the young players?" With modern training and couching, the players do seem to stay around forever. For instance, recently the up and coming young US player was Donald Young, and jeez I think he's 24 or 25 now. Not so long ago, that was retirement age.

flamingpdog July 6, 2012 at 7:53 pm

I really like the fact that the blah guy Chris Christie went after was smiling so big. He knew that if he chose to walk away, Christie could never catch him.

radio-of-owls July 6, 2012 at 7:57 pm

True, but I'd stay out of tongue range just to be on the safe side.

HogeyeGrex July 6, 2012 at 8:18 pm

I'm guessing he was thinking "Come onnnnnn, coronary!"

actor212 July 6, 2012 at 8:03 pm
TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 8:10 pm

The GOP's version of James Taylor has fallen off his stool.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 8:32 pm

Thaaaaaaat's ashame.

Madam Killjoy July 6, 2012 at 9:26 pm

"After nearly 26 years in elected office, this past nightmarish month and a half have, for the first time, severed the necessary harmony between the needs of my constituency and of my family. As this harmony is required to serve, its absence requires I leave.
"The recent event's totality of calumnies, indignities and deceits have weighed most heavily upon my family. Thus, acutely aware one cannot rebuild their hearth of home amongst the ruins of their U.S. House office, for the sake of my loved ones I must "strike another match, go start anew" by embracing the promotion back from public servant to sovereign citizen."
Um, okay then. I doubt half his constituency knows half of the words above. In fact, I'm a little confused myself.

Negropolis July 6, 2012 at 10:56 pm

I doubt he even knows half the words above. The guy is infamous for his two-dollar words, the pretentious prig. To be fair, though, his district is probably the most educated one in Michigan, and it's certainly the wealthiest. And, despite him being able to hang on to it for so long, it's a pretty evenly divided district, party wise.

Madam Killjoy July 7, 2012 at 12:50 am

Please tell me this resignation means a Dem could pick up his seat, then? Pretty please?

Negropolis July 7, 2012 at 2:30 am

Oui. The district was made slightly more favorable to Republicans during redistricting, but this disaster has moved the district to a complete toss-up.

The Republican that will be on the ballot in primary – the ONLY Republican on the ballot – is an eccentric reindeer farmer Paultard. The establishment panicked and is trying to run an establishment type former state legislature as a write-in.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Better to be a face sitter than a fence sitter.

flamingpdog July 6, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Adab, adab, adab dab dab dab, Thad's All Folks!

Chichikovovich July 7, 2012 at 9:56 am

That's great news, but the story won't be complete until somebody gets sent up the river for election fraud. [McCotter himself may well have known nothing about it.]

Yet another example of how trumped up the Wingnut Wurlitzer "election fraud" ("the sanctity of democracy" – blah, blah) refrain is. Here is a guy whose office submitted a purported petition to get on the ballot, most of whose signatures were copied and pasted from previous petitions! Not surprisingly, Fox News isn't all over this one. IOKIYAR.

not that Radio July 7, 2012 at 10:39 am

"It's not a Democracy; it's a Republic" is a common cry of the libertarian/wingnut set. Somehow they've concluded that Democracy = Democratic voters and Republic = Republican voters, therefore fraud committed to the advantage of Republicans is not fraud, it's Manifest Destiny, QED, checkmate. This constitutes airtight logic to them.

Chichikovovich July 7, 2012 at 11:43 am

The wingnutterati also love to justify the preposterous claim that Hitler was a socialist by pointing out that "National Socialists" has "Socialists" in it. So I suppose these "Democracy? It's a Republic, dammit!" people are admitting they are Stalinist-Leninists (Union of Soviet Socialist Republics) or Maoists (People's Republic of China).

Ducksworthy July 6, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Negative ATM/Fat Joisey Bully 2012

Ducksworthy July 6, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Come to think of it, if R-Money was the best they could come up with and the VP is bound to be second best if not worse than that, maybe El Gordo has a chance.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 8:18 pm

If, as I suspect, Mitt picks Pawlenty — T-POW!© — as his veep, their combined charisma will convert the Muslims to Buddhism, chocolate to salt, circles to squares, and the seas into sand dunes, but they'll still lose by at least 8 million votes.

rickmaci July 7, 2012 at 4:02 am

Mitts VP choices ain't that good. It's either Pawlenty or Good'nplenty.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Hey, it's Seaside Heights, everyone's an Asshole there in the summer – trust me.
I'm sure Christie fit right in.

And, Rebecca…TWO Christie posts in one day? Have mercy!

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 9:13 pm

EDIT: Reviewing the video (couldn't help it – train wreck, etc.) It appears as if he's on the Atlantic City Boardwalk. That everyone in Seaside Heights are still Assholes in the summer, however, is still true.

flamingpdog July 6, 2012 at 11:00 pm

These Christie posts weigh heavily on my mind.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 11:02 pm

They're quite a load to bear.

Exhausted66 July 6, 2012 at 8:22 pm

SCREENWRITER: Here's the pitch: Fat-assed Governor in play clothes, not his usual tailored tent, tries to start a fight with a tax payer who calls him out on his treatment of teachers.
STUDIO EXEC: I'm with you.
SCREENWRITER: Wait for it… he's extra angry because his ice cream cone is melting onto his hands.
STUDIO EXEC: You had me and then you lost me. The ice cream cone? Too much of a cliche.

savethispatient July 6, 2012 at 8:23 pm

OT: I assume there's a conspiracy theory about this already. The Beeb is basically just teasing the crazies with this one.

johnnyzhivago July 6, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Probably not done to his liking, so he had her taken out with one of the super secret senior citizen drones they're stockpiling for when Obamacare becomes law.

not that Radio July 7, 2012 at 9:57 am

The Akron Beacon Journal reported that Ms Harris had hugged Mr Obama when she met him at the restaurant.

That's when he administered the Polonium.

TribecaMike July 7, 2012 at 4:35 pm

The old polonium-tipped umbrella, heh? Further proof that Obama was born in Bulgaria.

not that Radio July 7, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Bulgaria? I thought it was Kyrgyzstan.

gurukalehuru July 7, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Josephine Harris, 70, who owned Ann's Place in Akron, Ohio, was taken to hospital after complaining of fatigue and a tingling feeling.

Chris Matthews should maybe get that checked out.

Crank_Tango July 6, 2012 at 8:24 pm

The absolute best is how he keeps his moobs in check with his high-fastening pants.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Fellow Jerseyite Lou Costello had the same problem, and yet he was a cool cat. New Jersey — who can ever truly understand its wicked wacky ways?

Crank_Tango July 6, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Who?The first baseman…Sent from my iPhone

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 10:27 pm

"Thumb Up" via my PC. Lou has a hospital named for him, while Christie will be lucky to end up with a greasy boardwalk sandwich named for him for a couple of weeks.

DahBoner July 11, 2012 at 10:00 am

Two words: Meat thermometer.

Sharkey July 6, 2012 at 8:25 pm

If there's one thing he hates more than teachers, it's people who defend teachers. Who would do that??

SayItWithWookies July 6, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Chris Christie is a law degree and a friendship with Karl Rove away from being the insufferable asshole who insults everyone who comes to his little suburban aluminum-siding bungalow for a weekend barbecue.

johnnyzhivago July 6, 2012 at 8:29 pm

He needs a big cream pie in his fat face.

Negropolis July 6, 2012 at 10:59 pm

He'd enjoy that far too much for it to be punishment. He's one of the few politicians probably hoping that somebody would.

Sharkey July 6, 2012 at 8:30 pm

You know Governor, they recently invented this new dessert called an ice cream "sammich".

Negropolis July 6, 2012 at 11:00 pm

They also have this thing called a Knuckle Sammich I'd be willing to offer him…which comes with a side of votes, of course.

johnnyzhivago July 6, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Never realized what a short little fuck he is, BTW….

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm

I'm sorry. I just can't resist.

"Thou art so fat-witted, with drinking of old sack
and unbuttoning thee after supper and sleeping upon
benches after noon, that thou hast forgotten to
demand that truly which thou wouldst truly know.
What a devil hast thou to do with the time of the
day? Unless hours were cups of sack and minutes
capons and clocks the tongues of bawds and dials the
signs of leaping-houses and the blessed sun himself
a fair hot wench in flame-coloured taffeta, I see no
reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to demand
the time of the day."

– Henry IV | Act 1, Scene 2

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Nice reference. Later on in the play , Prince Hal's rejection of Falstaff upon the former's coronation is one of the most heart-wrenching things I've ever read. Orson Welles' masterpiece Chimes At Midnight captures it beautifully. Ribald friendship is one thing, but power is another thing altogether.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 8:51 pm

It's true and this is really one of my favorite Shakespearean plays. I've heard of Welles' film but haven't seen it yet. It's on my list now, thanks.

I hate to equate Christie with such a jovial upstanding and loyal character as Falstaff, but the phrase "Thou art so fat-witted…" got me.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 9:03 pm

I'm hoping that when Criterion releases their inevitable dvd, it'll include bonus footage of Dick Cheney shooting his pal in the face and his pal apologizing for the incident. Now, that's frickin' Shakespearean!

ElPinche July 6, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Sadly, wingturds eat this up. They wank to big fat guys with anger issues who are on their side. (e.g "Go get em Chris!")

VinnieSaltine July 7, 2012 at 8:26 am

and yet they'll be the first ones to call Obama a Dictator.

Its weird…but I always thought that the governs by yelling at his constituents, calling them stupid/idiots, and then legislating against what the majority wants is the dictator.

But what do I know? I went to a public school, not one of those fancy Charter Schools.

Dr. Nick Riviera July 6, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Willy Wonka warned Christie that gum was experimental…

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 8:56 pm

We're gonna need a shitload of Oompa-Loompas to clean this one up.

Negropolis July 6, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Violet Beauregarde libel!

Beowoof July 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Dis fucking guy thinks he is Bobby Bacala

Negropolis July 6, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Hell, more like Bobby Baklava…mmmm…walnut baklava….mmmm…

annettaj July 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Is Christie's back pregnant. I'm just saying. Its hot, he may be with child—cranky . . . .

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 9:12 pm

"I had rather have a fool to make me merry than experience to make me sad and to travel for it too." As You Like It, if I remember correctly, and I rarely do.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 9:20 pm

"Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb, like the sun; it shines everywhere.
– Twelfth Night, Act III, scene i

You won't find anything like this at Breitbart.com.

not that Raul Castro July 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Words, strung together in a logical order, that impart some wisdom about humanity

You won't find anything like this at Breitbart.com.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 9:34 pm

"That is the correct answer. Raul, but you needed to phrase it in the form of a question. I'm sorry, no points this round."
- Alex

EDIT: AND NO ALL CAPS !!1!!11

EDIT II: Raúl Castro! Do you believe that shit!? Fucking Arizona.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 9:47 pm

When I lived in Tucson, I voted for Raul, though he was a bit conservative in my eyes.That lovely state has gone totally to hell in a wingnut handbasket. In ten years, if not sooner, it's going to be a whole other story. Viva Aztlan!

not that Raul Castro July 6, 2012 at 9:48 pm

It's commiegirl's joke. I can't take credit for that.

I mean, WHAT IS "IT'S COMMIEGIRL'S JOKE AND I CAN'T TAKE CREDIT FOR THAT"?

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 3:40 am

Indeed not.

RavenRant July 6, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Notice that big, brave Sir Robin Christie waddles up to try to intimidate the guy, and when the guy doesn't give an inch, Christie immediately caves and waddles away as fast as he can.

NATO – No Action, Talk Only. New Jersey, this your idea of a tough guy?

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 9:31 pm

No. I'm from New Jersey. I know tough guys.I grew up with tough guys. I've been friends with tough guys.
Mr. Christie, you're no tough guy.

RavenRant July 6, 2012 at 9:37 pm

I'd call him gutless, but…

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 9:40 pm

"I'd call him gutless, but…" that would remind me of a disturbing scene in the Troma film The Toxic Avenger that I just can't make myself look up. But, you get the drift…

RavenRant July 6, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I have a friend, Mark Torgl, who played the guy who turns into the Toxic Avenger. I haven't seen the movie, though.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 9:51 pm

I once had a girlfriend from Paterson, NJ, and she could kick any of these clods' asses with one arm tied behind her back.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 10:03 pm

No doubt. Patterson ain't no party, ain't no Disco, ain't no foolin' around.

not that Raul Castro July 6, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Christie's got some groceries, some peanut butter, to last a couple of days.

LagunaB July 6, 2012 at 9:45 pm

I think of Jagrafess exploding.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe libel!!!1!!11

trampndirtdown July 7, 2012 at 12:35 am

I was thinking Slitheen.

alteredimages July 8, 2012 at 3:09 am

Not Absorbaloff? From planet Clom?

ASHLEIGH_Joe July 6, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Shorter Christ Cristie: Come At Me, Bro

Wow, he really is the governor New Jersey deserves.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm

The only one stepping away was carrying an ice cream cone protected by bodyguards. Just sayin.

ASHLEIGH_Joe July 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Aren't those people supposed to be jolly?

not that Raul Castro July 6, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Julie Christie is fairly jolly.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 10:33 pm

She jolly well be.

cheetojeebus July 6, 2012 at 10:06 pm

When they said "he's so hungry he could eat a baby's bum through a whicker chair" they were talking about this guy.

Chet Kincaid July 6, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Citizens of New Jersey, again, heed my advice: Do not stand within 10 feet of the Governor while antagonizing him. If one of his legs gives way, he might start rolling toward you!

LetUsBray July 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Worst. Indiana Jones Sequel. Ever.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 11:21 pm

That's saying a lot considering the last one.

Chet Kincaid July 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Christie then put on his Galactus costume and ambled toward the food court.

not that Raul Castro July 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm
C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 10:28 pm

WEEBLES! Gold Star!

not that Raul Castro July 6, 2012 at 10:35 pm

"Governor Weebles", is what I'd like to see.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 10:37 pm

This deserves to become a Meme.

And so it shall.

not that Raul Castro July 6, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Weebgord Bulkyhefty

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Anyone else need a pick-me-up? I sure as hell do, these bastards are wearing me down.

Crossroads 2010

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Don't worry, be slap happy!

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Tempting.

Come on ovah heah, you fat fuck!" SLAP!

Blueb4sunrise July 7, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Keyboard players RULLLLLEZ. Never get any respect.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 12:53 pm

This. Duuuuude!

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ July 6, 2012 at 10:19 pm

As Maman mentioned earlier, I think I'm going to back out of the fatty-fatty-fat humor. He's got enough dickish behavior we can pick on.

Chet Kincaid July 6, 2012 at 10:21 pm

"I'M TRYIN' TO EAT OVAH HEAH!!!!"

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Maybe the ban on human cloning isn't such a bad idea after all.

Chet Kincaid July 6, 2012 at 10:29 pm

He takes it out on random citizens because there is only One whose love he desires, but can never have. "Boss! (Racking sob) Boss!"

Negropolis July 6, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Seriously, when is this guy's term up? I don't know how much more of this thug I can take.

Estproph July 6, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Well, he is a random bum, so it's appropriate.

KotBR July 6, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Seriously, it's like one long Eric Cartman impersonation at this point.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 11:01 pm

When do we get to the "Screw you guys, I'm going home!" time?

Negropolis July 6, 2012 at 11:11 pm

"Respect My Authoritah!", indeed.

not that Raul Castro July 6, 2012 at 11:16 pm

"Dear Governor Christie. I hate you so very, very much."

flamingpdog July 6, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Big-boned, but I kinda doubt he has a big bone.

trampndirtdown July 7, 2012 at 12:52 am

He must have a giant bone in his ass.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Dang, I've been having so much fun reading the comments (and drinking beer) that I forgot I'd reserved a table tonight at Casa Bonita.

Negropolis July 7, 2012 at 12:15 am

I can't wait until he utters "Screw your guys; I'm going home."

EDIT: This is what you get when you don't read all of the replies, first. lol

Sharkey July 7, 2012 at 11:51 am

He just wants someone to suck his balls. That's all he needs.

GeneralLerong July 6, 2012 at 11:11 pm

So, what's Baconzgood doing with his gorilla glue this weekend? Looks like we gotta gorilla here 'at could use some gluin'….just sayin'.

Blueb4sunrise July 7, 2012 at 11:35 am
DustBowlBlues July 6, 2012 at 11:19 pm

I think being fat is part of this tired mobster schtick he's made his signature. Like going to Iowa for Mittens and saying if they they didn't vote for Mr Swiss Bank Account he'd come back and get them "Jersey style." He's about as real as the Jersey Shore teevee people that seem to be famous.

Sadly for me, all this talk about his ice cream cone set up a craving for a cold treat and I got the carton of Caramel Gelato out of the freezer and am now consuming it straight from the carton.

BTW–Back from a three day tour my daughter and I dubbed "Grooving on the Dust Bowl." That those fucks aren't living in dust up to their asses is completely because of FDR and public works projects that gave them the miracle of water. They owe everything to the DemocratIC party. Needless to say, the dumb fucks are Republics now.

TribecaMike July 7, 2012 at 12:24 am

I've spent quite a bit of time over the past couple of years travelling through Sgt. Peckerwood Land, and the disconnect in those environs is indeed pretty mind-boogling.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Pick-me-up, part Deux:

Comin' home.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Those kids kick some major ass.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Saw the Tedeschi-Trucks band a few years ago up at the jersey shore. See them. Whatever you do, see them. Awesome.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 11:33 pm

My best pal saw them play in Tucson recently and had a great time. Susan Tedeschi can pick that box. Nice to see her getting some recognition lately. She reminds me a lot of Rory Block. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmR0_epz5OQ

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 11:37 pm

She's no slouch for sure and she's got a set of pipes with legs to match. Derek Trucks is a whole 'nother class of musician – one that doesn't come around but once in a generation, I think.

Chow Yun Flat July 6, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Fatso seemed to be walking toward a body piercing establishment at the end of the clip. They wouldn't have a harpoon big enough to even get started on him.

not that Raul Castro July 7, 2012 at 9:47 am

Then he'd have to start a fight with someone who buys ink by the barrellful.

nyjets011269 July 6, 2012 at 11:36 pm

3 months until his fat ass just explodes!

fuflans July 6, 2012 at 11:50 pm

woooaaahhh bamz killed some old lady in ohio cantor is so peeing from the fear.

va_real July 7, 2012 at 12:35 am

It kinda sounds like the excitement was a little too much for her.

Negropolis July 7, 2012 at 12:12 am

New Jersey: Where our governor knows a guy, who knows a guy, who can fix that problem you have.

New Jersey: We know what to do with wiseguys…elect 'em!

TribecaMike July 7, 2012 at 1:00 am

In the 90's, Jim Florio was a pretty good liberal governor, until he got serious about spreading tax monies equally to school districts and the "I've got mine Jack" syndrome kicked in. That was also an early trial run for the Koch brothers flexing their putrid wings. Florio served just one term (Whitman beat him in his reelection bid by only around 26,000 votes), and a little while later Corzine got in because he had his own fat wallet. Anyway, I don't see as much mob influence as big money industry interests (here's hoping that makes some kind of sense).

Oh, and before I forget, Whitman, Kean and Corzine can go fuck their sanctimonious selves.

ElPinche July 7, 2012 at 1:31 am

Fat fucks are people too , my friend.

dogscantlookup July 7, 2012 at 2:07 am

Is he corpulent ?
na he's just really round.

ttommyunger July 7, 2012 at 8:27 am

No snark: this is not a well man, his BP must be through the roof and his blood sugar count must chart like a roller coaster during a day's gorging. Sick folk don't do well in non-stressful situations, much less the hurly-burly of political office. I see a dead man walking.

Sharkey July 7, 2012 at 12:38 pm

His BMI qualifies him for the Guinness Book. It might end up being posthumous, he'll take what he can get.

ttommyunger July 7, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I'll vote for post.Sent from my iPhone

AddHomonym July 7, 2012 at 10:47 am

So, guy just needs a hug (and various meds), yes?

ttommyunger July 7, 2012 at 10:51 am

No. He is also a flaming asshole.Sent from my iPhone

randcoolcatdaddy July 7, 2012 at 10:47 am

Jeebus … it's Divine on a rant in "Female Trouble".

But, then again, Christie makes Divine look thoroughly svelte.

FlownOver July 7, 2012 at 10:51 am

CHRIS CHRISTIE NOW GETTING INTO RANDOM BUM FIGHTS WITH JERSEY SHORE PASSERSBY

Shorter headlines are better.

johnnyzhivago July 7, 2012 at 11:02 am

My evil cousin has posted something on Obamacare on his blog: http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com

Sharkey July 7, 2012 at 11:55 am

Groovy!

labman57 July 7, 2012 at 11:45 am

Mr. "Jersey Shore Beached Whale" Christie suffers from the same weakness as do Palin, Gingrich, Bachmann, Cain, and other self-righteous, bombastic conservative politicians and pundits:

He regards any reporter, interviewer, or constituent who has the temerity to hold him accountable for his previously stated positions to be a bullying, biased member of a left-wing conspiracy, and he views any question for which is unwilling or unable to provide an honest, substantive question to be a "gotcha" question.

Based on this pattern of behavior, it would appear to be a Republican rite of passage to treat journalists or non-fawning constituents with contempt.

BenGleck July 7, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Christie is having am amgry rant. That is because he is on a diet. How can you tell that Christie is on a diet? The cone he is eating is vanilla!
That man sacrafices like nobody's business.

Sharkey July 7, 2012 at 12:32 pm

He makes the tough choices – never caves in to the evil unionized chocolate and strawberry ice cream industries.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 12:16 pm

***PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT***

The National Weather Service has declared Excessive Heat Watches and Warnings for a good part of the country. The Warning areas will have Heat Index values in the 100 to 110 deg. F. range, due to a combination of temperatures in the 90's and above and Dew Points in the 60's. This is dangerous weather, folks and nothing to take lightly. Heat Exhaustion and heat stroke are cumulative conditions and symptoms can present very quickly. Here are a few resources to help:

* The NWS's Heat advisory page.
* The Centers for Disease Control's Extreme heat advisory page
*The CDC's Heat stress in the workplace page

Please remember that many of the areas under Heat Warnings today are still without power from last Friday's storm. If you're in any of these areas please take care and go to an air conditioned public building if you can. If you know anyone in these affected areas. please check on them to make sure they're OK.

Thanks. everyone,. Add your links and repost as needed.

FYI, I'm on the eastern shore of the Chesapeake in MD, lucky enough to have electricity and am doing nothing outside for more than 5 minutes at a time.Right now, at 1214 EDT, I have a heat index of 109 deg. F. and the hottest part of the day is in the mid- afternoon.

EDIT: Wouldn't be a Wonkette post without TruckNutz.

Sincerely, Weedlord Bonerhitler.

HistoriCat July 7, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Thanks C_R! Stay safe everyone …

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 12:34 pm

You're welcome and ditto.

FYI, my local heat index is 111 now. Hotcha!

viennawoods13 July 7, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Ours is only 95, but it is disgusting. I'm with the 5 min rule too- out to the garden to get stuff, then right back in. I have some lavender I have to harvest, but I can't do it all at once. My son works in greenhouses in this weather. Thank goodness he's off this weekend, but this week has been a little challenging for him.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 12:57 pm

A greenhouse! As if it's not hot & humid enough. Good thing he's off this weekend. Heatwave's supposed to break Sunday night to Monday but we'll likely get hellacious severe storms rolling through so you should get as much of the Lavender away as you can. Stay safe!

TribecaMike July 7, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I'm visiting the in-laws in suburban Baltimore, and it's pretty brutal here, with more thunderstorms predicted for the next two days.. The houses across the street got their power back a couple of days ago, and several other blocks are still without electricity.

Be careful out there.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Yes, thanks, you be careful too. Power restoration has been very spotty all around. There's a lot of tree damage, downed poles and transformers. A good part of Annapolis is still out, the Water treatment plant has been on generator power for this week (might be online now) and there are severe water use restrictions because there's no power to the pump that fills the water tower.

And – this was one storm! And not even a hurricane.

Steverino247 July 7, 2012 at 6:54 pm

I drove through the Bronx Friday (long story) and it was 100. I don't know what was worse, the heat or the driving. I was in full Gene Hackman in The French Connection mode. Only 86 here in CT at the B&B by the coast. Heading home to CA and low humidity tomorrow evening.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Safe Passage and arrival, friend. At least this current heat wave will finally be over soon.
Driving like Gene Hackman in NYC is pretty much mandatory. You can't show fear or weakness, they'll eat you alive.

HistoriCat July 7, 2012 at 12:38 pm

OK, I try not to whine too much, but can we get a new non-Christie post going? I'm laid up today and don't really want to keep contemplating the New Jersey Mouth.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Be careful what you ask for. Newell might be listening.

EDIT: Rebecca just posted something!
I hope it's not horrible/disgusting/infuriating.

Tundra Grifter July 7, 2012 at 12:52 pm

When our band gets back together that's going to be our new name: "Random Bum Fights."

JackObin July 7, 2012 at 2:05 pm

He has bigger tits than Pugsly Limbaugh.

Baba_NinjaCat12 July 7, 2012 at 2:23 pm

He is just angry like always just before his 7th meal of the day after working a hard, long day at a Jersey Shore Sideshow as the 'Incredible ManBlimp'.

Robman2 July 7, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Simpering appointed political hack, his girth is a personal issue, consequential when the ads start running after Labor Day, but, the Ben and Jerry's advert running on the side bar here at the 'kette, priceless.

Walkinwiddaking July 7, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Well i think it's kind of obvious why the..corpulent governor was so incensed. He only had one ice cream cone in his hand rather than the usual dozen or so that this lard ass usually gets force fed by his handlers.

blatherous July 7, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Well, in Christie's defense, word on the street was the person used foul language in front of his children.

lulzmonger July 7, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Even with a halo of bodyguards, he STILL winds up retreating after 10 seconds.

A Real GOP Hero!

Negropolis July 7, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Question. Is Christie yelling at the black dude, or someone behind the black dude? The camera seems to cut away to the left, and I've been unsure of the target of Christie's ire. Not that it matters in the end, but it's been bothering me.

alteredimages July 8, 2012 at 3:05 am

Ever play the old X-Men arcade game? NO ONE DEFEATS THE BLOB!

telecustom1972 July 8, 2012 at 11:54 am

If Mitt doesn't choose Christie to be his running mate he is squandering a huge opportunity to improve the economy. Just to provide the clothing this sack of shit would need on the campaign trail could result in the hiring of thousands of textile workers, seamstresses and awning factory stichers.

Schmegeg July 8, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Obligatory fat joke: He looks like Knight, Stenbreinner, and Soprano combined.

And really, what the fuck is he going to do besides sic some totally tuned State Police trooper on the guy. Keep Walking? Fuck You Christie. And also, take care of the teachers, fatso.

ggaston1960 July 9, 2012 at 8:56 am

He just might be approaching maximum density.

Tommy1733 July 10, 2012 at 5:18 pm

BEHAVE YOURSELF!! BEHAVE YOURSELF!! BEHAVE YOURSELF!! BEHAVE YOURSELF!!

DahBoner July 11, 2012 at 9:59 am

NEEDZ MOAR FAT GUY TUBA MUZAK

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm

You win this round Raul! On to Double Jeopardy!

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm

I keep thinking "This can't last."
It can't. This political environment is unsustainable in every sense of the word. Just a question of when it will all fall down.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 10:00 pm

It's fitting that Jan Brewer was born in Hollywood, CA.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 10:01 pm

That's funny! I remember that guy! Troma used all local extras, too, as well as local actors. Small world!

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Really? Feh.

scvirginia July 6, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Yessirreee!

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Too bad he doesn't have speakers, headphones,or records to play though.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Yep, nee Drinkwater to Mrs. Brewer. Willy Shakespeare would've used that.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Another Tale told by an Idiot, full of Sound and Fury Signifying Nothing.

Perfect.

not that Raul Castro July 6, 2012 at 10:36 pm

He's heard of some gravesites, out by the highway, a place that nobody knows.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Photoshop here I come.

Wideload Bulboushitler

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 10:55 pm

He's changed his hairstyle so many times now,
he don't know what he looks like!

flamingpdog July 6, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Talking Heads are all over the TeeVee on Sunday mornings, but every time I turn on the tube, I have teh disappointment.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 11:46 pm

I wish the radio would play these good folks.

C_R_Eature July 6, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Nah. We just have to do it ourselves, the old-fashoned way: YouTube, podcasts and Amazon.

TribecaMike July 6, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Good point. The artists make a lot more money that way (hopefully), and release what they want to. Screw Clear Channel, Bain Capital, et alia. Anyway, thanks for the link.

trampndirtdown July 7, 2012 at 12:49 am

You might check out his journal if you haven't already. http://journal.davidbyrne.com/

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 7:33 am

I see what you did there.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 7:35 am

I'm checking them out, I'm checking them out.
I got it figured out, I got it figured out.

not that Raul Castro July 7, 2012 at 9:11 am

There's good points; there's bad points.

C_R_Eature July 7, 2012 at 11:50 am

But it all works out, I'm a little freaked out.

Off to the Dry Ice Factory, to think.

Vecchiojohn July 7, 2012 at 12:01 pm

I'll take "Sane Republicans" for $100. What? Oh. Never mind.

MittBorg July 8, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Thanks for letting me know.

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