Everyone uses this pic eventuallyWonketteers from the nation’s upper-left quadrant converged on the final night of June, for an evening of drinkery, raillery, and possibly manifesto-writery at Seattle’s Latona Pub, which the Seattle Weekly informs us “is not another hipster bar, thank you very much.” We would not know one way or another, since Your Wonkette Correspondent got no more than a couple hundred miles from Boise before mechanical diffulties put the kibosh on his plans to attend the reader-organized festivities, more about which later. But did Stephen King need to have been alive during the Crimean War to write The Thin Red Badge of Mother Courage, now acclaimed as one of the most realistic blog posts about that conflict? Of course not! So here are photographs and a video of the excitement! Thanks to longtime readers Weejee for the pix and BoatOfVelociraptors for the vid!

The hootenanny commenced not far from the semi-famous Bettie Page mural, which was painted in 2006 as a birthday gift for the homeowner. Yay ART! Boo eaves!

And here are three photographs of the party itself; we do not have the names for most of these people, but perhaps they would like to identify themselves in the comments? We do know, from post-meetup comments, that the event was attended by these members of the Wonkette commentariat: Nostrildamus, WeeJee, BoatOfVelociraptors, Owls, Emmellemm, BigSkullFuckingDog, JonWhoDoesntComment, Isyaignert, savethispatient, and quite possibly others! The only person who actually identified himself in the last post on this meetup was a_pink_poodle, who says he is “the Asian looking guy in the cream colored light jacket and yellow shirt with the two headed eagle of the Holy Roman Empire on it” (WE SEE HIM!)

Seattle Wonkers 1

Seattle Wonkers 2

And finally, video of some sort of door-prizes thing, which was originally posted upside down but thanks to modern technology no longer simulates the view of an over-indulging Wonker:

(We are given to understand that the gentleman with the prizes is Weejee)

Also! A tale of automotive woe: En route to the Drinky Thing, Your Correspondent’s beloved 1973 Chevrolet, Vlad the Impala, burned out its differential just outside of Baker Freakin’ City Oregon, where it now awaits repair. After a night at a fine local motel, watching a great deal of cable TV, including the inexplicable Robert Altman Popeye movie (No really, why does this thing exist?) and an HBO documentary about the downfall of Rev. Ted Haggard, Your Correspondent was rescued by his ex, who is one hell of a nice human being.

Tl;dr: like Rev. Haggard, Your Correspondent spent a weekend burning out his rear end, and will be paying the price for a long time. Also, the Union wins the war, not like you could tell these days.

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  • Those photos…they could have been taken at a Waffle House Romney fundraiser.

    *putting on asbestos suit*

    • Callyson

      "Waffle House"

      Christ, if Mittens does manage to get elected, that will be my new moniker for the White House…

      • No, no, no, no, no. Don't even *think* that thought.

    • Terry

      Stop hatin' on the Waffle House. I've done a lot of long distance driving, particularly in the South. I say with absolutely clear conviction that the hash browns at the Waffle House are awesome. First, they cook them correctly. Then, you get the add-ins. Delightful things such as sauteed onions, grilled tomatoes, cheese, grilled mushrooms, ham, all this and more. Any combo you want. After 12 hrs on an Interstate, this is wonderful comfort food.

      • SoBeach

        Love the Waffle House. Always will.

      • BerkeleyBear

        You have plainly gone to a different class of Waffle House than the ones I experienced in Chicago (they make you pay up front during late night and early morning hours, because the clientele is so classy) and Indiana (Dueling Banjos would have been appropriate). You don't so much enjoy them as live to tell the tale.

        • SoBeach

          Try stopping in at a decent hour. Any place full of drunken jerks at 3a.m. is going to suck.

          WH isn't anybody's idea of fine dining, but they've got fried eggs, bacon, sausage, waffles, and coffee down pat.

          • Terry

            Exactly. A good diner breakfast at whatever time you need it.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    A Drink Too Far.

  • prommie

    Jersey Shore! Jersey Shore! Come on, we can get together and heckle Christie in Seaside, and then flee down the boardwalk when he gets enraged and charges! It will be like the running of the bulls in Pamplona! The running of the Fat Fuck in Seaside!

    • The Running Of The Librulls.

    • Callyson

      Oh God yes–I'll fly back east again for that, and I won't even bitch about the heat wave from hell that you're all having…

      • It's mostly cracked. It's not even 90 yet!

    • LagunaB

      Charges? More like waddles. Speed it up for greater hilarity.

      • mrpuma2u

        Yup, and then play "Yakitty Sax" by Boots Randolph while you watch it.

    • Oh, prommie! Twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom, I envision you as a twinkletoed gnome or a lightning-footed ninja at the very least, delivering swift painful kicks to the Bellowing Behemoth of FatFucklandia, then spinning away upwards and backwards in leaps worthy of Nijinsky.

      Man, the movies in my head have gotten *great* lately! (checks weed)

  • el_donaldo

    I suppose you should be commended for struggling to keep a 73 Impala on the road. Unless I have to park next to you.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      But he managed to abuse it badly enough to burn out the differential?

      Holy Penzoil, Batman! That takes some doing!

  • freakishlywrong

    I love these recaps. But I think all Wonkett, drinky, meetup thingees should be held at un-ironical, dirty sounding entendre bars.. Like "the Big Hunt" was in DeeCee. I'm going to start looking for a "Mike Rotch" around these parts.

    • Callyson

      What, did Madam's Organ die on DC? I could use some Madam's Organ right about now…

      • My daughter had her first legal drink of alcohol at Madam's Organ three years ago this month. I think I would travel the 1000 miles back there for a drinkything event held at that venue.

        • All growed up! I dread to hear that my favourite girl is now old enough to drink — and does.

  • DC? Hello? I think I saw all y'all at the 2009 Wonkette Inauguration Ball in NE!

  • Looks like the drunkest one was the designated photographer.

    • That's how it usually works, tho, isn't it?

      • No; usually the sober one takes the shots while the drunk ones show their tits.

        • I miss all the cool parties.

          • WunkRocker

            Still time to catch a bus to Brooklyn for Wunk Rocker's CD release. /bueller

        • That must be why the drunkest one volunteered to take the pics.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Hey, the accelerometers in the ipad were confused.

  • Estproph

    I'm a sailor peg
    And I've lost my leg
    Climbing up the top sails
    I lost my leg!

    I'm shipping up to Boston whoa
    I'm shipping up to Boston whoa
    I'm shipping up to Boston whoa
    I'm shipping off…to find my wooden leg

    I'm a sailor peg
    And I've lost my leg
    Climbing up the top sails
    I lost my leg!

    I'm shipping up to Boston whoa
    I'm shipping up to Boston whoa
    I'm shipping up to Boston whoa
    I'm shipping off…to find my wooden leg

    • Estproph

      Just an FYI: until you choose to have a Boston meetup I am going to keep posting lyrics that mention Boston every time one of these threads comes along.

  • MrFizzy

    Wonkers are people too, my friends.

  • SexySmurf

    I was going to attend, but I couldn't find the VIP entrance.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Is this the VIP thread?

  • Antispandex

    Wow, you really DO learn something new every day. ….The union won the war, huh? You're sure? I did not know that. Maybe because here in the fly-over states they don't talk about it much. Home schoolin'.

  • SoBeach

    Buncha hippies.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    That's me being blocked by a_pink_poodle! My annonimity remains intact! The mystery lives on. Oh, and btw, it's BigSkullF*ckingDog. The * is important as I wouldn't want to offend anyone with my horribly course and disgusting language.

    • But we were all standing on our heads throughout the meet. Who flipped BoV's video?

      PS. I outed your RedHooking offer for the fall to our Editrix.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        That's fine. I need to confirm the remodel dates for the pub as well as figure out what days they are going to have live music. If its early fall, like September, the patio would be a good option as well.

        • anniegetyerfun


  • Goonemeritus

    No wonder we progressives are losing elections, you all seem rational good humored and not boiling over with psychotic rage. Let’s get with the program Wonketeers.

    • I swear to god these fucking slackers r nevah gone to TAKE ARE CUNTRY BAAAACK, SHEEPLE.

      • Goonemeritus

        I don’t think any of them are even packing!

        • Can you see this bunch of effete ELITISTS packing anything but *books*?

          Bet they're "sciency-thingy" books, too.

          • Goonemeritus

            As if God cared what scientists thought about anything? Let’s face it to win we are going to have to kill a few of these extra brain cells. We need the kind of message that is easy to scrawl across a random piece of cardboard in all CAPS.

          • DRINK!

            Sorry, wut?

          • Goonemeritus

            Social drinking ain’t going to get us there I’m thinking paint chip nachos.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I would really like to know what JonWhoDoesntComment thinks of these pictures.

    • And he took lots of pictures that weren't back lit. Were they for the FBI?

    • I approve of them wholeheartedly. Also, I feel morally weak for forgetting to do anything with the mediocre phone pictures I shot (i.e., even getting them off the phone).

      I just wish someone would've remembered to photograph the amazingly-attired pedestrians we all met outside. I can't even remember what the occasion was.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        Yay! Welcome to the skullf*cking and the dick jokes and the …
        Nope, that's about it!
        Oh, look at your little P. it's so cute.

      • emmelemm

        What? What the heck? Are you really JonWhoDoesn'tComment? Love your little avatar… not so sure about the name.

        Also, you have no Pee(nis). Yes, you can get p-points for people upthumbing your comments, but what really drives your p-score is people "Following" you. So, Seattle(ish) Wonkateers, you should follow him.

        ETA: And other Wonkateers, you should also follow him, also, too.

        • BigSkullF*ckingDog

          Can't I just stalk him instead?

          • Or sit in a tree and pee on him?

      • Well I'll be damned. Would ya look at that. JWdzntC has indeed "avatar-ed up."

        Well done, Sir. And as such, I shall follow.

        OH, and Zoom-man, as there is a keeper-of-owls commenter that predates me, prolly best if I stick with OWL as opposed to Owls. I still look forward to seeing Vlad The Impala – soon as you get your rear-end in gear, as it were.

      • Great to see you.

      • UNTIMELY REPLY: Oh hey, I finally got them off my phone! Cough cough: …Also, all of you are THE BEST.

    • New av! Is that Big Red Dog? So kawaii!

  • WhatTheHeck

    I hope there were free jugs o suds.
    I mean, a Wankerteer will only go so far until “free beer” takes precedence over librul ideas.

  • qwerty42

    What about the little people? Was there anything for them? Something to encourage them to give generously to Mitt's campaign? Or don't they get it? Are they just too uneducated to understand?
    When will Wonkette have a drinky thing in the Hamptons?

  • Isyaignert

    Thanks for posting everything Doktor Zoom and thanks WeeJee for hosting. Although, it's not on the video, I won a Nunzilla wind-up toy just for being a recovering Catholic – check it out and be sure to click on the video –

    Good times, good peeps – would luv to have another drinky thingy, but we'll need a bigger place next time!

  • MissTaken

    Are you sure that was Seattle? I don't see nearly enough flannel.

    • Terry

      Not enough obvious electronics or piercings, either.

      • Barb

        I agree about the piercings, Terry. The last time I was there some of the people looked like they fell down the stairs while carrying a tackle box.

        Thanks for making me crave hash browns.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          I think most of those photographed at the meetup are old enough to miss the embarrassing-amounts-of-facial-iron demographic. But you're right about Seattle, most everyone there under thirty would sink like a boat achor if you tossed 'em into the Puget Sound.

          • anniegetyerfun

            Now that I am in my mid-thirties, I find myself getting irritated with people who have more than seven facial piercings. As you can imagine, it makes it hard to go anywhere in Seattle.

        • Terry

          I posted about hash browns shortly before lunch…and it showed!

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Hey, I was wielding an ipad an LG bluetooth headset. My eyebrow ring got ripped out after a snowboarding incident.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    So I take it if James O'Keefe showed up with a soul patch and a bongo to sing Kumbaya to these fine unAmerican's, the ruse wouldn't work?

    • Geminisunmars

      Oh, I'm sure he'd be welcomed too. We're an inclusive bunch.

    • anniegetyerfun

      You know he would have been beaten to death within minutes.

  • Shypixel

    So when is the Montana version going to happen?

    We could all get together and shoot up an outhouse or something…

    • Isyaignert

      Wahoo – I'm headed to Missoula on Friday for a par-tee and then to Polson for a couple of days on Flathead Lake. Let's get this thing going!!

  • Limeylizzie

    Who is the person who looks a bit like Romney?

    • JonWhoDoesntComment

    • Nostrildamus

      I'd have said Dan Savage, but I believe you're referring to JonWhoDoesntComment. Shame he doesn't. He had the sharpest wit of anyone there.

      • Limeylizzie

        What a waste of snark!

      • I was WONDERING how y'all managed to get Dan Savage to show up!

        Hey, JonWhoDoesn'tComment, you're cute! Bet you comment like a motherfucker, too.

  • Incidentally, I'm JonWhoDoesntComment, although that went above IntenseDebate's character limit. DAMN. So, as of thirty seconds ago, I'm officially registered.

    As an attendee, I can report that this Drinky Thing was great. And since I just moved out here from DC — where I'm immodestly, obnoxiously proud to have won a 2010 Weepy Eagle — my big fear (too far away for Wonkette events!) was swiftly put to rest. The HTTP-request-and-response version of Wonkette is delightful, but pairing it with real-life conversation and lager is even delightful-er.

    • Limeylizzie

      Welcome, I upfist you now so you can feel part of the Wonketeriat online.

    • Barb

      Hi, Jon who comments! Tits or get the fuck out.
      Wait that doesn't sound right…….

    • Sounds like LL is interested in more than a +,
      if you catch my drift.

    • Isyaignert

      YAY JWDC – I knew we'd get through to ya! Looking forward to hearing more from ya!

    • anniegetyerfun

      Yay, glad you joined us! And that you got to go in person, too. How is the area treating you? I had serious culture shock when I first moved to Seattle. OK, for the first five years or so.

    • Hey-O, JWDC/spritemap! Welcome to the sheep dip! Grab a cracker!

    • Nostrildamus

      Yo, Wonketteers! Everybody needs to get on Jon's p-ness, stat!

    • Welcome Jon! Your Keynes For Kids website is awesome.

    • All of you are *awesome.* I can't come up with a snark-infused way to say that without robbing it of its sincerity.

      Thanks for this lovely welcome! Also too, necessarily: buttsecks, Blago's pompadour, traffic-stop slavery, trucknuts, etc., etc., etc. (cracks knuckles, flexes typing fingers)

      • emmelemm

        From 0 to 97 pee in a day! Everything's coming up roses.

  • Limeylizzie

    WeeJee is adorable, non?

    • Barb

      WeeJee is the best!

    • Isyaignert


    • emmelemm


    • Totes.

  • Barb

    I hope that when the party gets to the southwest the door-prizes will be antique sexual devices.

    • Steverino247

      I don't think I'm old enough to qualify as antique, but I'll do the best I can.

      • Barb

        In that case, I hope my number is drawn.

  • Limeylizzie

    I claim the gentleman with the bald head and the military moustache, because OMG he would look good in a Waffen SS uniform and he seems stern….

    • Nostrildamus

      The Great NW needs you Lizzie!

      • Limeylizzie

        Used to live in Seattle ,very briefly ,in about 1994.

        • anniegetyerfun

          That was probably a good time to flee.

      • Limeylizzie

        Is that you?

        • Nostrildamus

          Nope. I remain, sadly, unphotographed. Too bad. Think you would've liked the uniform.

    • Isyaignert

      I think that's my husband you're referring to and he's actually very fun on a date, however, he is German. Good eye!!

      • Limeylizzie

        I am usually referring to someone else's husband! He looks a babe!

        • Isyaignert

          He is Prince Charming – I kid you not! Lucky me!!

          • Limeylizzie

            MrLimeylizzie is also a prince among men. Good for us!

  • Is that a drone overhead?

  • Tundra Grifter

    Speaking of drinking meet-ups – do we have a place in San Francisco yet? Not to be a Nudge – but today is Monday the 9th and the event is Friday the 13th.

    Are you going to share the secret – or do we just wander the streets of the City, searching for The Great White Wino?

    • Limeylizzie

      Shit, I can't make it, have to fly back to NYC for a few days.

      • Extemporanus

        Curses! Now who shall be my charades partner?!

      • Tundra Grifter


        It just won't be the same without both of you there.

    • Extemporanus

      I'm 6'6" and wearing an 80 year-old grey fedora.

      Can't miss me…

    • bobbert

      It's the 540 Club on Clement (I axed yesterday). There's an update on the original Meaty Drinkup post.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Thank you for the update.

        I'm very sorry to hear that.

        Parking is going to be impossible on a Friday night. Actually, of course, every night – but Friday is probably the worst.

        Not close to public transportation for those who decide to have a drink.

        Don't mean to be a buzzkill, but that's really a poor choice…

        • bobbert

          As a non-resident occasional visitor to SF, I could ask where, exactly, parking wouldn't be impossible on a Friday night, but then I suppose you'd have to kill me if you told me.

          For me, since I have to drive in from Groveland, it's just a matter of where do I get the $200 motel room.

          • Tundra Grifter


            When Wonkette first announced the San Francisco mixer, I suggested downtown. There is the City garage at 4th and Mission, and another one on Stockton Street. Lots of Friday night parking.

            There are the Embarcadero parking garages – more expensive, but wide open after Monday-Friday business hours.

            Public transportation downtown is excellent – with BART to the East and South Bays.

            I realize I'm probably sound like a Buster, but this is just about the worst location that could have been picked.

            Check out the motels along Lombard Street off Van Ness. Many of them don't post rates – it's all negotiation, and one is right next to another.

  • calliecallie

    Here I was all this time thinking all the Wonketteers were in Washington the District, not Washington the state!

  • James Michael Curley

    You hold these things in DAY LIGHT? I can't go.

    • Barb

      Is wearing a clove of garlic around my neck going to be a problem?

    • Steverino247

      Sooner or later, the thirst always wins…

  • anniegetyerfun

    Was so sad not to make this, but I imagine the Wonketteers were probably relieved not to listen to me hack and cough for a couple of hours straight while staring sullenly at the beer that I cannot drink.

    • We were trying to guess peoples identities as they came in, I thought BigSkullF*ckingDog was you.

      • Isyaignert

        Did you guess who I was?

        • No I'm a dummy.

          • Isyaignert

            No you're not!! Everyone thinks I'm a guy because of the "Get a brain morans" dude and plus I can swear like a longshoreman, but that's only because I grew up with four brothers and no sisters. I'm the female with dark hair sitting next to Weejee. Nice to meet you again. Sorry we had to leave early; we also had a party in West Seattle that night. Cheers!!

      • anniegetyerfun

        Yay! If I am going to be mistaken for someone else, I am glad it was BigSkullF*ckingDog. You know, as opposed to one of the dudes.Sent from my iPhone

  • not that Radio

    I'm afraid I can't afford a "Weedlord Bonerhitler Memorial Left Front Fender", but I'll kick in something. You should probably just go ahead and paint that on the fender, anyway.

    • This is what Magic Marker was made for!

      • not that Radio

        No matter which radio button I select, it keeps saying "Abbie Hoffman Book Auction" on the confirmation page. I don't want to commit indiegogo fraud. Shall I just okay that, with the understanding that you keep the book?

        • Huh…no idea what's up with that! I am the one distributin' stickers and labeling the car, so yes, donate whatever amount you wish, and I will make sure you get appropriate swag, credit, or whatever. I assume this thing tells me who gave what so I can do that.


          • Good news! It only shows that you made a donation, nothing about swag. You may end up with a sticker anyway, dood.

          • not that Radio

            Okay, but only if it doesn't eat into your Medical Loss Ratio.

      • emmelemm

        Ditto to not that Radio: I went to make a contribution and selected "No perk" on the selection… but then when it went into the "pay" part, it said "Perk: Abbie Hoffman book". And, sadly, I was not contributing $100, either.

        Should we just go ahead, with the understanding that we don't get the book?

        • yes, yes…and THANKS! I will try to figure out what is screwy with the settings. Buggered if I know.

  • Mojopo

    I want to party with party people like you.

  • Steverino247

    Thanks for posting the Bettie Page photo, too. I think I first saw her about age 12 and that was quite a treat.

  • thefrontpage

    I saw these same pictures on a porn site this weekend!

    Who are all these sexy girls?

    When are we doing this in D.C.?! We need to do this in D.C.!

    • finallyhappy

      set it up and this old lady will come. I will be asking you boys to pull up your pants and for the young ladies to wear more decent clothing.

  • It was a lot of fun. We must all get together again before the end of summer.

    • emmelemm

      It was fun! These pictures do not adequately demonstrate how fun it was.

      It was at least as fun as the dog is having in the header photo.

      • Well, they should have posted some of the photos of the skinny dipping at Green Lake.

  • savethispatient

    Haha, that's a terrible picture of me. Damn my eyes and their need to be closed from time-to-time.

    Oh, and congratulations Jon-Who-Now-Does-Post.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I just know that if I had made it, any photos of me would have been from the left side, with my eyes closed and my mouth partly open. I might actually wear a Reagan mask to the next get-together thingie.

  • a_pink_poodle

    The pictures are not sideways! IT'S ALL RUINED

    Also where are you, Lurker John?

    ALSO speaking of the Crimean War, I saw the 1968 adaptation of The Charge of the Light Brigade that following weekend.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Lurker Jon is above!

      • a_pink_poodle

        Well he hasn't made an account yet, has he?

        • BigSkullF*ckingDog

          Spritemap in comments above. We need to work on your reading skills! Also, his p is already bigger than yours and OWLs! WTF?

          • a_pink_poodle

            You know I'm illiterate! Also I think one generally starts strong then settles into a certain range as time goes on and the more comments one makes.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I was briefly freaked out when I saw the blurry photo of you, because you look vaguely just enough like an ex of mine, but then I realized that my ex would never say "I saw the 1968 adaptation of The Charge of the Light Brigade that following weekend."

      • a_pink_poodle

        To be fair, the only interesting parts of the movie were the animated parts that looked like the newspaper comic editorials of the Victorian era and helped illustrate the perception of the glories of war before further advances in journalism and media allowed for the myth to be dashed once and for all by WW1.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Shoot, I dodged every single shot, except for my hands.

  • You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.

    And I say that as someone that actually made it into the pictures.

  • Weejee is the cutest thing since sliced bread, as I expected.

  • Thanks, Wonketteers, for posting pix and NOT GTFO. It's so much better when the blackmail evidence comes with.

    Also too, hugs to Dok Zoom and Mrs. Ex-Dok Zoom (for being a totally triff person) and also to poor old Vlad. Will he be back among the living (dead) soon?

    • Thanks! She is an awfully good friend; being married was the only mistake we made. Vlad is going to need a bunch of work, but is repairable. They're still waiting on parts, so I'm bicycling and walking for a couple weeks at least. I have started a Begging For Money thing, (linked in my IntenseDebate avatar), for anyone who might wish to chip in.

  • ttommyunger

    Needz moar titz!

  • PlanetWingNut

    why wonkette…doesn't like nyc.,..don't make me get Cindy McCain to come on here again and glare at u guys.


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