Have you seen those comical YouTubes of the fat man in New Jersey berating people, on YouTube? They’re gold. Usually they’ve got a teacher, a unionized teacher, and this teacher asks the fat man a question and the fat man goes, “DIE YOU AWFUL TEACHER, DIE NOW, DIE DIE DIE,” and the teacher’s all like, “Uh…” Love this fat guy on YouTube; can’t get enough of it. And now this “fat man screaming at teachers” guy’s racked up 5 million YouTube hits. “Hit 5 million views on YouTube!” he tweeted today, on Twitter. “What better way to celebrate than to take a look back to see how we got here.” What a day.
This man “should be President of America”:
But as NJ.com notes, New Jersey Fat Man Hollerin’ At Folks getting five million views for all of his videos isn’t really that much:
Christie, however, is not the biggest YouTube celebrity out there. The video for Justin Bieber’s “Baby” clocks in at number one, with 755 million views.
And a video of a cat riding a Roomba — a disc-shaped robotic vacuum cleaner — still has 2.4 million more hits than all of Christie’s videos combined.
It’s time for the fat man to set his sights on higher vistas:
- Fat New Jersey Man Rides a Roomba
- Famous New Jersey Fat Man Molests/Eats Justin Bieber
- The Fat Man Who Yells At Teachers Sits On a Cat And Kills The Cat Because He’s So Fucking Fat
And so forth.
[NJ.com]
{ 152 comments }
Fucking fat fuck.
Fuck the fucking fat fuck.
Fuckin-A
Fuck the fucking fat fuck fuckin-A-hole
this post is hateful to fats :(
Nah, just fat fucks.
No, just THIS fat fuck. Some fat dicks are fun
He ate a cheeseburger every time he got a hit.
Double bacon cheese.
Did someone say bacon?
http://boingboing.net/2012/07/06/all-bacon-burger…
Who moved my cheeseburger?
Not the biggest Youtube celebrity out there? What, did he go on a diet?
Leave Chris Christie AAALLOOOOOONNEEE!!!
"AAALLOOOOOONNEEE!!!"
That sounds like you lost your grip on that outcropping at the summit and fell to your death.
He was holding on to the moob.
You'd be angry too if you could neither see nor reach your penis.
He's the governor – he has staffers for that sort of thing.
And Friday has over 35,000,000 views – and that's just the official original version. Therefore, Rebecca Black is seven times as popular as Christie, and should be Vice President!
Sadly, that would be improving the quality of the GOP music base.
Chris Christie is so fat that he shows up on radar.
He can't get high enough off the ground
only with a NJ state helicopter
Barb, the Voyager spacecraft(s) can still spot him, too.
He has his own area code.
… can sit on a dollar bill and make change.
… can sit on a dollar bill and make
changeit cry.FTFY
His movements are tracked by the Spaceguard Project.
I thought they were using seismometers.
NASA is planning a Big Boy launch hoping to grab some telemetry before the subjects mass inhales the vehicle.
CC is so fat his gravitational force absorbed the Higgs Boson as soon as it was created. The physicists had a sad.
Chris Christie is so fat that his farts are considered derechos by the weather service.
"And a video of a cat riding a Roomba — a disc-shaped robotic vacuum cleaner — still has 2.4 million more hits than all of Christie’s videos combined."
They certainly managed to put their governor in the proper perspective.
I'd rather watch a cat on a Roomba, that's for sure.
I'll admit I was hoping for a link.
I'd rather watch turds turn white that five minutes of Mr. Creosote there.
I'm sure a cat on a Roomba would do a better job governing.
2 Chris Christies , one dumpster.
Play 'em off, Keyboard Fat…
i'm pretty sure that's illegal in most southern states.
Two fatties enter….
Can't we just report him for hate speech?
He only said someone was "stupid". If he had used the R-word, Rebecca would have given him a stern banning.
Your move, Guy From Boston.
"The video for Justin Bieber’s “Baby” clocks in at number one, with 755 million views."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuNpmyZ6za0
And this gets 17,666?
I don't want to live anymore.
But Sun Ra has 100 billion hits on Saturn.
He hates people almost as much as he loves lard.
Paradoxically, the people who love him are mostly lard.
Lard-brains, anyway.
It wasn't hits, just gravitational pull
Fat Jebus is such an asshole. Please Mittbot, bring this yelling, noxious buttplug on board.
If nothing else, it'll get him out of New Jersey — and away from me — for a few months.
Something tells me he really would eat a big bag of dicks, if you handed him one.
Salted, unsalted, human, rat… it's all good.
I bet he'd try to get a job at the processing plant.
Who knew the Ron Paul blimp talked.
Eat one more teacher, they're wafer-thin.
Well, Mom says they will just go to waste. And, she did spend all morning cooking them.
He's still 745 million behind Bieber
Psst, Chris; they're laughing at you, not with you.
I admit my attention wandered a bit, but I totally missed the clip of him eating 68 Nathan's hot dogs in 10 minutes.
He ate Nathan instead.
Give a man a hot dog vendor, and he will eat for a day…
A cat. Riding a Roomba. This speaks volumes about what's wrong with this fucking country.
That we hire cats to clean our apartments?
They're doing a job Americans won't.
That cat was BORN in this country – and so were the previous 15 generations of his family!
A cat riding a roomba is why the internet was invented in the first place. That and porn.
That the Repubicans nominated Mitt Roombaney as their robot god?
I know, it's not enough hits.
After reading this, I could do with a few more hits myself.
Well, they had to find something when they were forced to take down all those Hitler parody rants from the movie "Downfall."
Downfall: Chris Christie Discovers that Domino's is Out of Cheese
They took all them down? That is bullshit, man, total bullshit. I loved Downfall rants.
The best of the lot was where Hitler finds out that YouTube took down his Downfall videos.
They're all back up, after somebody finally got up the balls to fight a takedown notice.
Fair use, douchebags!
* Fat Man flies into red-faced, spittle flecked rage, berating a harmless teacher at news conference. Suddenly undergoes Spontaneous Human Combustion, erupting within seconds into a blazing tower of sputtering, fat saturated meat.. The audience bursts into wild applause.
That's the one I'd watch.
So now teachers are the new gays or what? I can't keep up with who the Rs are hating on.
Should I say it?????
Admirable restraint.
Everyone but themselves.
To be fair, he could lose a few…
…a few hundred.
His "greatest hits" video didn't include the salami hoagie from last night.
Or the one from breakfast.
Just waiting on that vein to pop in his forehead.
As a native, I can tell you, there are so many guys just like him in N.J, spouting off from barstools, yelling and screaming about "the blacks" and "the spics" and so on, it's no wonder he has a ready audience, but he's nothing special, just one of many in that tragic and colorful state.
Next election, voting should be over with by noon. With the barfly demographic taken out, maybe somebody less obnoxious will have a shot at the governorship.
You are not alone (whimper) Georgia is chock full of the same.
What does the honey badger think?
Honey badger don't give a fuck.
Honey badger don't give a fat fuck.
He's pretty thin-skinned for a blubber butt.
In fairness, if you tried packing twenty five hundred pounds of crap into a half-ton ugly bag of mostly water, you'd be stretched pretty thin too.
We're extending the Star Trek references I see.
That was a good one.
When Chris Christie bites your head off for asking him a question, he'll go ahead and eat the rest of you, too.
Maybe they'll post a Youtube of him singing along to some Springsteen tune.
o/~ Tramps like us, baby we were born to gorge…..nomNOMnomnom, nom nom nom noooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm o/~
I was thinking "baby I was born a ton" but your's works too also.
Here ya go: http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2011/09/gov_chri…
Personally, I don't even think he was born to jog.
He's so bad, so ridiculous, and its a form of mental illness to actually get on a stage and make such a fool of yourself like this. Fucking fat stooge fuckwad fuck.
That was sacrilege. And I don't even like Springsteen.
Yes, that's right. The name of the Governor's show IS "Two and a Half Tons"
Is the sub title "of shit in a one ton bag" ?????
Theme song: "Stixteen tons".
Remember when the Republicans used to sneer at Obama for being the world's biggest celebrity? Before plucking the mote from thy neighbor's eye…
True story: I liked that.
Q: How many hits did the honey badger get?
A: Trick question, the honey badger doesn't give a shit.
Even more disturbing?
His YouPorn channel's racked up 11 million hits.
"Famous New Jersey Fat Man Molests/Eats Justin Bieber" is… well… majestic.
HMMMMMMM??????
"Large Whale Beaches Self On Podium Stage"
"Majestic Beast Discusses Consumption of Entire Second Grade Class"
"Big Fatty FAT FAT Moves Mouth With Words"
"Man Rolls Over Rick-Rolls"
"Chris Christie Discusses His Orbit Around the Sun"
"UPDATE: Man Engulfed In Hell-Fire Engulfs Hell-Fire"
The man who swallowed New Jersey in one bite
I would like to see Christie and Joe Walsh argue about something… maybe the best way to eat sausage or something.
"Christie! Christie! Christie! Christie! Christie! Christie! Christie! Christie! Christie! Christie! Christie! Christie! Christie! Christie! Christie!…"
Sorry, can't watch. My YouTube time is devoted exclusively to guys getting hit in the balls.
What about kitties and babies being cute?
What about guys getting hit in the balls by cute baby kittens?
(This has actually happened to me…more than once. True story, bro.)
I'd watch that video of him.
FOOTBALL IN THE GROIN, FOOTBALL IN THE GROIN!
All I can think off is Higgs Bosons.
Funny, I think of Hogg Bozo
He may need a mirror to see his penis, but we can see his fat ass on google satellite view.
What a huge waist of space.
All these fat jokes are making me sad.
I'm sorry, Bill.
Oh man, I just got "fatrolled ! "
“Hit 5 million views on YouTube!”
So that averages out to, what, one hit per pound?
I'm surprised the LOLChristiez site hasn't done better.
ceiling christie wants to know if you're going to finish that.
There is absolutely nothing likeable about this jackass — so no wonder he's such a popular governor in New Jersey.
"Get in Mah Belly!!"
No wonder Bruce hates him.
Fat man in a little coat, anyone?
Screeching fat guy on the Intertube? Who digitized and uploaded the Sam Kinison monologues?
Chris Christie + pack of hungry hyenas = YouTube Gold
you've got to think boehner is praying mittens picks this schlub. then boehner is just one jupiter space god believin' frontier religion wacko heartbeat and one chicken wing away from being president.*
*assuming 'Murica is ready for its first mor-man junk bond trader president and the republicans retain control of the house.
Two and a half million You Tube hits for the right side.
Two and a half million You Tube hits for the left side.
so that's where all the huckabee fat went. mystery solved!
I'd rather watch a Fat Man in the Bathtub.
Wait…is he claiming that the Superbowl champs Giants are the NEW JERSEY GIANTS?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Here is some brain bleach: Upscale quality of Freddie Mercury
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Y8q-cq4P-I
I miss him.
Wow. Cat riding a roomba (I had to look, sue me) is actually a whole genre of videos. What's more disturbing is the video about the video of the cat riding the roomba.
I checked too. I though they might be cute, but they're just silly.
"a disc-shaped robotic vacuum cleaner "
So helpful of the reporter to explain what Chris Christie is.
There's a new one.
http://www.tmz.com/2012/07/06/chris-christie-gove…
Oh for fucks sake.
When we hang him from a lamppost it might bend.
Hatemonger porkslab reminds me of the turn of the millenium internuts comic called Rush Limbaugh Eats Everything. He is so sickeningly fat he must wheeze taking a giant fourflusher threepizza shit in the morning. It is truly a shame his swollen balloonlike aortas have not cashed it in and blown out like a bald tire on broken glass.
Governor Christie Kreme is giving 'joisey a bad name.
I am sick and tired of all these comments aimed at making fun of this man's weight problem; it detracts from the fact that he is, in fact, a flaming asshole of epic proportions.
He could be so much more popular if he called himself "Bacon Boy."
Cristie — noun, meaning "Christ, i.e., forget Higgs, that man has MASS."
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