Add to Flipboard Magazine.

Competitive indeedWhatta we got in the local clip ‘n’ save today? “Mitt Romney’s campaign is considering a major foreign policy offensive at the end of the month that would take him to five countries over three continents…” HMMMMM. You have to wait until you *win* the presidential election to launch world war, dingus. And then it’s perfectly acceptable. But maybe the rules are different for Republicans. What nations shall Mitt Romney delight with his arsenal of good humor, competitive sport, and decline?

The tour starts in the rogue state of England, where Mitt Romney will challenge the war-torn autocracy to begin the long march towards democratic reform. (And perhaps secure a handsie from the queen? He’ll settle for Prince Charles, if necessary.)

The presumptive GOP nominee then is slated to travel to London for the start of the Olympics and to give a speech in Great Britain on U.S. foreign policy.

Next he would meet with our other Greatest Ally of All Time, Israel, and maybe even throw in a handshake with the leader of Israel’s own Mexican-y Others.

Romney next would fly to Israel for a series of meetings and appearances with key Israeli and Palestinian officials.

Then a quick stop in the heart of Nazi Germany and hey, don’t forget about Poland:

Then, under the plan being considered, he would return to Europe for a stop in Germany and a public address in Poland, a steadfast American ally during the Bush years and a country that shares Romney’s wariness toward Russia.

Stay away from those bullets, though:


Romney officials had considered a stop in Afghanistan on the journey, but that’s now unlikely.

Your Wonkette hopes he goes through with this. A Mitt Romney Global Tour would be comedy gold! “Hello, little Arab boy, have a Werther’s candy — but don’t tell your mother” etc etc.


Previous articleSorry, Arkansans Making $1899 Per Year, You Are Too Rich For Medicaid
Next articleScreeching New Jersey Fat Man Snags Five Million YouTube Hits