Lucky duckiesHere is a fun (!) morning math lesson for you, our brilliant and talented and math-capable readers! If Arkanasas currently provides Medicaid to those making 17 percent of the poverty level in the US, and the poverty line in the US for a single person is $11,170 per year, how little do you have to earn to be eligible? The answer is $1898. That is not very much bread, man!

So would Arkansas like some free federal cashish to expand its eligibility for Medicaid to those making all the way up to the poverty line?

Of course not, DON’T BE RIDICULOSE. Health care is for losers.


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  • Billmatic

    See I always had a hunch that Hootin Holler was in Arkansas.

    • prommie

      I thought and hoot and a holler was a measurement of distance, as far as you can hear a "hoot" plus as far as you can hear a "holler."

  • Beowoof

    Well republicans once again demonstrating all of their Christian compassion. Although, it wasn't directly mentioned in the Bible, Jesus did get a co-pay from Lazarus.

    • comrad_darkness

      I think you've hit upon it. They want their citizen's desperate enough to pray for help and turn to God rather than man.

    • Doktor Zoom

      No, no, you see, Jesus only wants individuals to freely choose to help the Poors. If the Gummint helps the Poors, that takes away the Jesus Magic, and is also theft, because it hurts freedom and the money might go to the undeserving Bad Poors. As Jesus himself said, "whatsoever you do for the least of these, that you do unto me, unless the dirty layabouts haven't been drug-tested."

    • boobookitteh

      He made Martha pay up front.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Isn't being dead a pre-existing condition?

      • Graham Cracker

        Only for Medicaid. You are still allowed to vote in most elections.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Whoa. Our governor said we're taking the Fed money for expansion.

  • SorosBot

    Hey, it's easy to afford private insurance on $150 a month!

    • OneDollarJuana

      For $1899 a year a box of Bandaids once a decade is "affordable insurance".

  • Goonemeritus

    With more than $5.20 a day at your disposal you should be able to put a few chickens in the freezer to fund your healthcare needs.

    • Terry

      Especially if you poach them from your neighbor's coop after dark.

  • comrad_darkness

    Arkansas, the Arkansas of Arkansas.

  • An_Outhouse

    Does Arkanasas cover funerals?

    • Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢

      When they outlawed death panels, they outlawed death, too.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Damn Mom. I dressed up as a girl once. Once! And this is the photo you give them????

  • It's a slippery slope Health care for the poor in Arkansas today, Communism tomorrow. .

  • Schmannnity

    Who needs health care when the state has abundant poultices, leaches, medicinal roots, and potions?

    • ProgressiveInga

      Granny Clampett libel!

    • anniegetyerfun

      Moonshine, also. If it doesn't make you blind, it can cure nearly anything. Well, except blindness.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Not to mention snake handling for curative purposes.

      • Puffperney

        Whatever your ills, a good, solid cottonmouth strike will end them for you.

    • spends2much

      And, of course, prayin' to Republican Jeebus! If that don't cure you, you's supposed to be sick!

    • horsedreamer_1

      Hipster midwifery homeopathy unvaccinated libel!!

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Ha! Just look at all the luxuries they have, will ya!?!?

  • In fairness, in Arkansas, that buys you a double wide AND three dogs to put under the porch.

  • Barb

    People making less than $1,899.00 per year, or as Wal Mart calls them, employees.

    • I believe they call them "associates," in order to discourage alcoholism

      • glasspusher

        I'd have to be pretty drunk before I _shopped_ there, for crissakes…

      • mormos

        only in public, behind closed doors they are "peasants"

        WALMART: #1 in serf labor!

    • LesBontemps

      Not "employees" but "associates." If they were "employees," they'd have to provide benefits.

    • WhatTheHeck

      Wal Mart can shift its manufacturing to Arkansas where the labor costs are lower than in China.

      • You laugh, but….

        • sewollef

          I ain't laughing.

          "A decade ago, a factory worker in China made 58 cents an hour. Today, wages are more than $ 3.00 and there are predictions of $6.00 an hour by the year 2015.

          John Higgins, CEO of Neutex, an LED lighting company, said it will be cheaper to manufacture in Houston."


  • OneDollarJuana

    Don't forget plasters to fight those evil humours.

  • shortsandpants

    Opt in: You are screwed.
    Opt out: You are scewed.
    Reason: You live in Arkansas

  • not that Raul Castro

    With $1899, you could have a Big Mac Value Meal every day, for like 38 weeks, and then hibernate the rest of the year.

  • gullywompr

    1898 is also the year to which these robber barons want to return.

    • JustPixelz

      Pretty sure they want 1858 … at least in the South.

    • horsedreamer_1

      To Christianze & Civilize those Cubans, Filipinos, & Puerto Ricans!

      (Note: might already be Christian Catholic.)

  • Fox n Fiends

    Its all Whitewater's fault.

    • LakeLucilleLoon

      I always forget that the Clintons came from "that Arkansas".

  • WhatTheHeck

    It could be worse. They could be living in Arizona.

    • FNMA

      And be Mexican.

      • Chichikovovich

        and a former governor.

    • HarryButtle


      (Sure, it's true, but you don't have to rub it in.)

  • FidoMcCokefiend

    I've been told that the churches do a much better job of helping the poors than the evil gubmint.

    Surely all the god fearing yokels down there will help out with bake sales and whatnot?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      A year of chemo is gonna take a whole lot of cookies.

      • SayItWithWookies

        I thought they just had to give the radiologist a chicken and they're set.

    • Antispandex

      Bake sales? For what? If a preacher juggling a snake can't heal you, you're not sick. Probably sent by Michael Moore to scare everybody.

  • mavenmaven

    Meth is the only medical plan they want in Arkansas.

  • MissTaken

    Freedom ain't free! But you know what is free? Dirt! Just rub some dirt on it and quit yer bitchin'!

    • Y'need to cover et up? We ain' got no bandiges. Here, have this here squirrel what got runned over out on the bypass this moanin'!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Obviously you haven't had to buy a yard or two of topsoil down at the landscaping center.

      • Fancy Yank and you're "tawp soil". Ah bet yew drank yer "tea" wif yer pinkie up and put your good toof in for dinner!

        • BaldarTFlagass

          Bro, I live in fucking Texas, fer Chrissakes.

          • Oh, one them shitkickers with the three piece soots an boots! Prolly drive a Cad-o-LACK, too!

          • BaldarTFlagass

            Cadillacs is fer the Nigras, except for the Cadillac pickup trucks. White folks hereabouts drive Mercedes, BMW, and leviathan SUVs.

          • Jus_Wonderin

            Wait, that Texas State Truck isn't the Canyonero? I wonder if I can cancel my order?

          • glasspusher

            Texas Yanks. The worst kind.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          I bet he uses that designer dirt to grow communist arugula.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            Yeah, I hide the arugula amongst the marijuana plants so the neighbors don't see.

    • PubOption

      Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose… .

  • freakishlywrong

    The Banana Republicans strike again.

    • Puffperney

      "Banana Republicans"! Says it all!

    • sewollef

      Should shop at Club Monaco instead… you get a better class of Hamptonite there.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Your state legislature doesn't want you to heal. It wants you to DIE!

    • HarryButtle

      Governor Gert Frobe's campaign slogan?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    For people who don't believe in evolution, these people sure do like to test the limits of survival of the fittest.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Social Darwinism, not Biological Darwinism.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Gee, with coddling like that, you'd think all of Arkansas' North Louisiana's poor would be dead by now. That's how conservative economics is supposed to work, isn't it? Why has it failed to leave us only with prosperous entrepreneurs?

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    You can easily afford insurance for a whole family on $1,899.

    Most experts recommend insuring for February, but I suggest March, because you can get 31 days' coverage.

  • Government Cedar Cheese for everyone!!!!!!!

    • jodyleek

      Them thar poors are livin' high off the hog, what with their spegtti, 2 pacs a peace cigs and those cakes they like.

  • Pine Bluff, Arkansas is a fancy highfalutin city that doesn't need any of your Foreign money!

  • Baconzgood

    Hey, one less Welfare state in the union.

  • ProgressiveInga

    Arkansas Medicaid Plan: take this free sample of oxy and call the smack dealer next week.

  • SorosBot

    If poor people didn't want to be told to fuck off and die when they get sick, then why did they choose to be poor?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Bet they do a means test, too. "TV? Refrigerator? AIR CONDITIONER?!?!? Denied!!!"

    • Texan_Bulldog

      And cell phones–if you're high faluting enough to have a cell phone, you don't need no government aid.

    • johnnymeatworth

      Hey, that banjo on your knee had to come from SOMEWHERE….

      • widestanceromance

        Not to mention Daddy's heirloom tin leg under that banjo. Been in the family as long as anyone can remember. Some day, his kids will wear that leg.

        • Jus_Wonderin

          Growing up, we were so poor we had to make our prosthetic limbs out of cardboard. No, I won't say we prayed for drought, but rainy days were hell on us. It is a dim memory, but I can still see Lil Tommy Ray, standing in a puddle and listing to starboard.

          • viennawoods13


  • salt_bagel

    Free to Be…Poor and Dead

    • rickmaci

      Live Sick and Die.

      Don't Treatment Me.

      Wonder what the flags for those would look like?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Arkansas – Leading the nation in reducing the surplus population.

    • Puffperney

      Nope. They're breeding faster than they're dying off. Thanks to a strong anti-birth control program. …of course, the average age of the population in the state is getting lower,

  • Antispandex

    Yep, I knew it! The bestest health care system in the WORLD. U-S-A! U-S-A!
    There is nothing to keep a person from wasting what they have left over from their $1899 on doctors and such. That's freedom.

  • fartknocker

    Rowanda is looking really, really good right now.

    • IncenseDebate

      Is Rowanda the grandma, or the ma?

      • Oblios_Cap

        Maybe they meant Towanda.

  • kissawookiee

    I will post a snarky comment on this just as soon as I get my jaw up off the floor. Anybody got a forklift they aren't using?

    • JustPixelz

      Silly Wookie. Jaw on the floor is not covered.

  • prommie

    Perfectly understandable, if only you know the reasoning behind the decision. Its simple: If you expand eligibility, then all the blahs will get it. And taxes is slavery when it goes to benefit blahs. Any libertarian could explain that to you in a second.

    • Dumbedup

      you nailed it. 1897 obviously is the number that excludes the maximum number of blahs, as well as many poor whites. I've been hearing about the "new south" for 30 years now, but don't see much new at all.

  • elviouslyqueer

    That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

    No, not the one with the poorz. The one at the TPM link. Jeez, Wonkette, have you no decency?

  • anniegetyerfun

    Christ, these people. Next thing you know, they're going to expect potable water to be piped into their homes.

    • rickmaci

      Jeezuuz didn't use a flush toilet, why should they?

  • Ruhe

    We are just so loathsome…I'm gonna spend the weekend not looking for a little while. Snark on brothers and sisters. I'm out for a few days.

    • Dumbedup

      hey, enjoy the "new" weather whilst on your holiday, and remember soon these other issues will be eclipsed by climate change, and it wll be the only issue, so don't worry too much.

  • sezme

    Well it's really a good thing that Medicaid won't be expanded because it would lead to rationing of care, which would of course lead to death panels. So keep the status quo because that way, everone wins.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Well I'm sure the cost of living is much lower in Arkansas. Judging by their “livable” yearly wage you should be able to buy a new car for $499, a modest house for $2,568 and a chicken 10 pennies.

  • Who said Republican's couldn't take care of poverty? Just define everyone out of it and it no one will be poor.

    • rickmaci

      And ketchup is a vegetable.

  • ElPinche

    That's funny because a set of bootstraps are just $18.98 at Walmart.

    • rickmaci

      Plus 3 bucks for the duct tape to attach them to your feet.

  • ttommyunger

    All but one of 'em is too fucking lazy to even stand up. GET A JERB, SLACKERS!

  • barto

    I think we've actually done it! We've created the most insanely inhumane health care financing system on the planet! USA! USA! USARRRRGHGHGHGHHGH!.!.!.!….

  • rickmaci

    The stupid keep the rich rich and the rich keep the stupid stupid. And now it seems, they also keep the stupid sick.

    It's the Republigoon way.

  • rickmaci

    Not to worry, this shit will still be here when you get back. SMH.

  • Couldn't we fix all this by making the official poverty level $5 a year, thus eradicating poverty completely? NO Medicare needed!

  • gussley

    You misspelled "loosers".

  • I got no snark. No health care until you only make $1800? That's just obscene.

  • kilo50

    And in Liberty/Freedomland Arkansas you get to pay sales tax for food purchased at Walmart with that $1899 fortune you earned at the chicken plucking factory outside Hogeye ( absolutely a real place in Northwest Arkansas, near Strickler and up the road from Bug Tussle, also a real place. )

  • LakeLucilleLoon

    Isn't that a photo of the Romneys joshing it up for their Mormon Christmas card? (I don't know if Mormons do xmas but that was the first thing that came to mind and I'm too lazy to google Mormon xmas…)

  • HarryButtle

    Either they're lazy, or they're so malnourished and diseased that they CAN'T stand up.

    Nah, they're just lazy.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    But $1,800 is a lot in Confederate dollars.

  • TribecaMike

    Poverty is a myth created by the poor so they can remain poor.

    Now, excuse me while I make out with this Ron Paul ReLOVEution poster.

  • blatherous

    Gubmint cashish?

    Sure, I'll take two!!!

  • DahBoner

    Yeah, I was going to visit the Noah's ark exhibit at Ark N' Sands this spring, but it was flooded out…

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