Dude, working for the RNC is a sweet gig, but July is, like, super boring. Even the money people agree that the jobs report numbers, which ought to be good for some laughs on Barack Hussein, are lame. You gotta keep in the game somehow, though, and Twitter’s a great way to have a little fun when it’s slow at work while helping your guy Romney out. So why not just send Obama’s campaign manager like four or five Tweets a day making fun of his lousy campaign and calling him “bro”? No hard feelings, bro, we’ll go get a beer after the election.
Anyway, the important question is: what kind of facial hair does bro-tastic RNC Political Director Rick Wiley have? Find out after the jump!
Yes, Rick Wiley’s chinbeard is 100% sweet. That screencap is from this video, which is mostly a bunch of lame math and numbers but if you want to get a whiff of his awesome native bro-dialect, just hit play and listen to him say “How y’all doing.”
What about Rick’s antagonist in this so-far one-sided Twitter war? Jim Messina’s been taking the high road so far and not responding, but let’s check out his Twitter pic and see if it sheds some light on this dynamic:
Look for things to escalate to Rick asking Jim “Why’re you hitting yourself, bro?” by mid-August. [Endless brotweetery]
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Rick Wiley looks like he borrowed a Ralph Lauren shirt from daddy's closet. He doesn't even fill out the sleeves with his girly arms.
Pretty sure that's a blouse from the Big N Tall Ladies section of Dress Barn.
Love to see a picture of Rick Wiley wearing a bro.
An Af-bro?
The douche is strong in this one.
Nate Silver says your pet robot is losing, bro.
Don't faze me, bro!
Of course, that only counts if they let every legal voter vote.
Or unless all all the dead Democrats vote twenty times, like you know they do.
thanks fukui, i'm paywalled out of nytimes.
This guy doesn't look like a "bro" to me.
He's an albin-bro.
He looks more like an "Adolph" to me.
Frankly, he looks MUCH more like an asshole to me.
It's like he & Rick Scott were separated at birth–both are bald, have similar features and both are major assholes.
He's like the love child of Rick Scott and Brian Urlacher …
"Don't tweet me, bro!!!"
Don't tase me, bro!
Don't haze me, bro!
@messina2012 Go home and get ur fucking shinebox. #bro
It's like being harrassed by a 6th grader.
Are most skulls that pointy?
I think he's James Carville's little bro(ther).
Don't read the Weekly World News much, do you?
Listen douchebag, Obama is going to destroy Romney in the biggest landslide since Reagan beat Mondale (yes, this will happen), so go away already.
"damn 140 characters"
I know how he can get 3 more characters in every tweet.
If only he could find some character for his candidate, know what I'm sayin'?
That's some serious clown tweets, bro
It's only Friday morning–did you really have to go and win the weekend already? High five, bro.
Shaved heads are the mullets of the 21st century, bro.
I am so stealing that line.
HEY! Watch it, bro!
Well, a shaved head is cooler than a bad combover.
It's just easier to maintain…
Of all the things I've lost in life, I miss my hair the most.
Think of all the money you've saved in shampoo. Of course, washing your face takes a bit more time and soap, I reckon.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful bromance.
"hey, hermano."
Hey Bro. Shaved head on a black dude can look sexy. On a pasty white dude it looks like they just got out of chemo.
I believe Dave Barry was on record saying that white men with shaved heads looked like giant, walking thumbs.
Only because he couldn't say "penis" in the Miami papers.
Nothing says power hungry frat boy like a one sided Twitter war from a chinbearded Douchebag.
Guy looks like he has frozen cum dripping from his chin.
Either that, or I've been on Wonkette too long.
Frozen cum? That's hilarious! He's the Good Humor Bro.
A bro-sicle
The "Todd".
U MAD BRO?
Which is worse, that he maybe really thinks/talks like this, or that he is "trying" to talk like this? And to what type of audience is he speaking? Is there a large "too old to be talking like a wannabe ski-bum douchebag" voting contingency? Do we want one?
The dude looks like some kind of crazy cult leader in a Ralph Lauren Nehru shirt.
I was thinking that he looks like a young Marshall Applewhite, remember the Heavens Gate suicide cult? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marshall_Applewhite
Or Jake Busey in Contact???
http://www.the-back-row.com/media/blogs/TBR/jakeb…
Douchebagsayswhat, bro?
He can easily do Uncle Fester for Halloween !
If your Vegas phone bank is "kicking" I'd be on the phone to Qwest, not wasting my time sending tweets out.
So I guess it's true that the Republican party is the home of aging former fratboy jock bully asshole types. Bro.
I think that's just the basic job requirements for Mitt's campaign.
I have this whole thing about how if you've ever interacted with hedge fund/finance industry folks, they're obviously aging frat boys, which makes sense because this is generally a field that you break into more through upper-class personal connections that you cultivate in early adulthood via school, nepotism, or both at the same time, than due to any particular field-specific academic credentials.
But I never realized that the same was true of their campaign staff, as well.
So the carpet has no drapes to match?
I imagine that the other head is probably a smaller image of the one we see pictured here. Shiny, pointed, with a teeny little blond bit underneath.
I see a shadow of the Breitbart/Waggaman encounter here…
@messina, Right now sweeping a rentboys balls with my chin broom, bro
This is COTW for me. Thank you. I actually choked a little on my own spit.
You're welcome! :)
Beard? That's a chin pussy for tea baggin'.
WTF happened to his eyebrows? Did he bleach them? Is he part of the Aryan Bro-hood? Is he albino? Is he an albino assassin from South Africa running Kruggerands thru LA?
DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY!!!
Did you say the chinbeard was 100% sweet or 100% wheat?
Full of fiber!
Hey Bro, having a tough time fitting this much asshole into 140 characters
Bro, Bro, Bro you wrote
On your Twitter feed;
Shave your head and
Scratch your ass–
I think you've gone to seed.
Rick Wiley may possibly be the whitest man alive.
Which is really bizarre to me, since the late Ralph Wiley was one of the baddest black men around.
Whiter than RMoney? It cannot be.
Hahaha, the jokes on him. He doesn't know the secret blueprint for the spaceship to fly Romney to Kolob are right behind him!
I think that's Ron Paul's blimp. Time to redecorate, bro!
Help me bro, this is my real life.
Will these two just get a room already?
With two brothers on opposite campaigns, they're in for an awkward Thanksgiving.
Bro looks a lot like a sous chef at a hotel restaurant …
Perfect.
♫ What a shot he would be if he could shoot Wiley
With those Angry Eyes ♪
Someone needs to tell this puddingbeard that bros are out, hipsters are in. On the other hand, I'm not sure I want to see Romney or Wiley in skinny jeans
Skinny jeans & magic underwear? Could he even do that?
"Someone needs to tell this puddingbeard that bros are out."
I think we should encourage him to use outdated jargon. I'd give Romney a $100 donation if he would Tweet "macaca," "coon," "chink," "hymie" or "wetback."
Shouldn't this guy be hosting a show about custom-made motorcycles on one of those formerly educational teevee channels?
Maybe after working out for a year and getting a decent set of tats. Right now he's better suited to host the Dubious Trendy Cocktails Show.
Jim Messina looks pretty good considering how hard he probably partied back when he was with Buffalo Springfield and Poco and Kenny Loggins.
Your mama don't dance and your daddy don't rock n roll, bro.
+1 for Poco reference. That 8 track is around here somewhere….
Listen bro, my dad totally owns a dealership. Mitt came in to buy a sweet beamer and was all, "sweet goat bro. You wanna come, like manage my campaign and shit?"
Watching Romney try to clean up the mess he has over "RomneyCare" made me want to buy a robot vacuum. For about $300, I can spill Cheetos crumbs 'til my heart's content!
You KNOW that no woman in her right mind is kissing that face, right?
Looks like I have some competition, then, for the not-in-their-right-mind ones.
Definitely a brother from another mother.
More like a bro from another mo
It is kind of interesting to see him out of his Mudvayne costume, though.
Don't bro me twit.
Nice ball bumper Rick.
He should grow his little goat-beard out a little and braid it, like Jeff Coffin. Then he could go on tour with Bela Fleck and call Futureman and Vic Wooten "bro" all day long.
Looks like a Gordon Ramsay victim.
"I may or may not be in the K.K.K., Bro."
The gaydiation is strong on this one. Rick is a Log Cabin Republican isn't he?
I bet this guy buys his shirts two sizes larger to make himself not look like a skinny little weasel. Fail.
This has no fap factor. :(
Jim Messina does kinda look like a Bill Plympton cartoon subject.
Rick and Calista.
Would they cancel each other out?
I don't remember King Tut from Batman being much of a "bro."
I think his bro is broken….
"Bro" is an endearing term used in the African American coommunity to connote friendship with another human being, usually male.
Whereas Mr Romney might say "buddy" or "pal" or "010100000011101", his African American counterpart for the presidency, Mr Obama, who is, the last time we checked, still African American, says "bro" or "homie" or "muhfuckah".
Bat Boy II is simply using "bro" to designate the POTUS is still a black dude.
Dild prides himself on bringing clarity to the discourse.
@rick_wiley Your mother gives some sweet head, dude.
My roommate has a beard like that. Same color, even. He's also a part-time conservative. (He puts his Christian values on hold when my wife is going topless.)
We're rollin' on out, looking for the greatest Dipshits, Douchebags & Dumbasses! This week, Las Vegas! This RNC phone bank is money! You could put this call sheet on a flip flop and it would taste good!
god this guy's shirt is starchier than my ex-husband's.
my ex-husband's shirts drove me into the theatre.
true story.
On the plus side, he's a MacAholic. On the minus side, he's a goofy-lookiing troll working out of his parent's basement; no doubt, Bro.
Yo! Christine O'Donnell on line two, bro.
[I'm very disappointed in you guys...]
Mr. Wiley had to use "bro" because "nigger lover" took up too many characters.
I'm waiting for this to descend to the level of a "come at me, bro" post.
If you wondered how to recreate the effect of a honking campaign bus in tweets, wonder no more.
@rick_wiley: Cool story bro
Rick WIley must not be very good at what he does if he gets elated at every WaPo poll. Seriously!
That beard MUST be outlawed.
Is there a Republitard who's not a megadouche?
Penis with beard says what?
Good God, I didn't think anyone even TALKED like that; this just SCREAMS douchebag!
So, who else thinks Douchey here hasn't gotten laid yet?
This whole snakes rights thing has gone too far.
I want to call that beard something… the Drippy Pudding Cup?
Washing? My face?
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