Watch Joe Walsh Shout ‘Ashleigh’ At Ashleigh Banfield Ten Billion Times

  sitcom?

He looks funny is the thingCharming Illinois Rep. Joe Walsh went on CNN today for an interview with anchor Ashleigh Banfield, of “getting demoted for criticizing network news coverage in the build-up to the Iraq War” fame. The subject was Walsh’s very mild recent comments about how double-amputee Iraq veteran and congressional candidate Tammy Duckworth won’t shut her dang mouth about her service, and therefore isn’t a Real Hero. What’s the problem, Banfield? And then she destroys him while he shouts her name for a number of minutes. We’re gonna miss Joe Walsh in January.

[Youtube/TPM]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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259 comments

    1. Maman

      They settled and she seems to have some sort of clause preventing her from talking about the agreement. He however is allowed to call the situation a "misunderstanding" and issued a joint statement saying "Having resolved these issues together and cleared up these mistakes in private, we now agree that Joe is not and was not a 'deadbeat dad' and does not owe child support,". I hope she got a huge payoff for that bullshit.

    2. Rorgg

      At least as of January he won't be MY Congresscritter any more, despite living in the same town. He got redistricted into the same as another Republican incumbent, who was inconveniently neither obviously batshit-insane not a complete flaming asshole 24/7, so he skittered to a more affluent area to run. Hmm, need to go find Duckworth's campaign site and make a contribution.

    1. scvirginia

      Let me know when he's willing to admit that he's always depended upon the kindness of strangers.

  1. timbo71351

    You know the guy running the re-election campaign for this dipshit is probably on suicide watch right about now. Or blind drunk

    1. ChessieNefercat

      I'm pretty sure being blind drunk was necessary to say to yourself, "Campaign manager for Joe "deadbeat dad" Walsh? Sounds like a great gig!"

    2. Guppy

      Hey, a gig's a gig until the checks start bouncing! Just ask Newt's campaign director!

      (Seriously, I'd probably demand cash up front before working for a GOP campaign these days.)

  2. OneYieldRegular

    I just can't understand why such a charming guy has had such egregious family problems.

    1. TribecaMike

      I know, right? Here's a guy who likes nothing more than chillin' in his La-Z-Boy while puffing on a pipe and perusing his complete collection of "Dear Penthouse." And that's when he's at work.

  3. Doktor Zoom

    I regret nothing. How dare you keep quoting me! Ashleigh! Ashleigh! Sure she's a hero, Ashleigh, but all she ever talks about is her heroism, and that's so tiresome. Why won't she let me yell Tammy! Tammy! Tammy! at her a lot?

    Also, it's my opinion, so no one can question it!

          1. flamingpdog

            I dream of the day when you tell me I made getting back into bed today worth it.

            *even more blushing*

          2. Barb

            Hey Wee! They are doing well, thanks for asking. Mina has been moved from intensive care and now she will room with Christine for a while at the hospital.

            How are things with you?

          3. weejee

            Well wish I had good news to report. She got her latest scan results today. No new growth in the lung & colon tumors but the liver wasn't as cooperative. They put her on a new chemo so she won't have to take a pump home for a day to deliver more of the nasties. She's such a trooper that she's looking to the coming school term and figuring she'll only have to miss Fridays now every two weeks instead of Thursday & Friday.

  4. SexySmurf

    I wish Ashleigh Banfield would destroy me as I shout her name for a number of minutes, if you know what I mean.

  5. Not_So_Much

    "Kiddo"? He speaks down to her as a comeback for her shredding him? This guy is savvy with the whole media thing, isn't he?

  6. fartknocker

    LA LA LA LA LA – elect me I'm really your best choice – LA LA LA LA LA. What a goat fucker.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      "What a goat fucker."

      Best summation I've seen of that bellicose fucknozzle.

  7. flamingpdog

    Dear Joe Walsh,

    Tammy Duckworth ain't the only one in the race without a leg to stand on.

    Fuck you,
    Pdog.

    1. MittBorg

      May I tweet this to Joe? I make a habit of tweeting him regularly with my opinion of him, or the opinions of others with whom/which I agree.

      1. Rorgg

        As a constituent, at least for a few more months, I just write him on his webpage. "Resign, you disgrace" is probably my finest concise work.

        1. MittBorg

          A grateful nation thanks you. He's not getting a whole lotta love on Teh InterToobz right now. I'm hoping this translates into a THUNDERING defeat at the polls. The nation deserves a Tammy Duckworth. NOBODY deserves a Bad Joe Walsh.

  8. Walkinwiddaking

    Yeah but the guy is wearing some kind of patriotic thing on his left lapel which more than trumps Ms. Duckworth's missing limbs. God. What an A number one asshole.

  9. rickmaci

    I love Ashleigh.

    Unfortunately, she IS a Canadian and you know how it is with mixed relationships; my mother says they never work.

    1. fuflans

      fuck you rickm i am a MIXD RELATIONSHIP and you are eVIl soCIALizmms

      (this is the time when my canadian part will apologize profusely).

  10. LettucePrey

    I only want to say that "Ashleigh Banfield" is the whitest white name of any white person, ever. That's like a black newsanchor named Shaniqua LaTawnya Jackson.

      1. emmelemm

        That's the British-ist white whitey person name ever.

        He's cute, though. Call me, Cumberbatch! I'd even change my last name for you! (No, I wouldn't.)

        1. Billmatic

          Seriously it sounds like a nobby joke name from Blackadder or something.

          SIR TALBOT BUXOMLEY

          1. Biel_ze_Bubba

            Indeed! "Sherlock" is on my (very) short list of DVDs worth owning. Check it out: Season 1 is on Netflix.

            (A 30-something actor with seven "most acclaimed" roles must be doing something right.)

    1. Jukesgrrl

      She lives in New Canaan, Connecticut, where the MEDIAN home price is $1.5 mill so I think it's not odd to be whiter-than-white there.

    2. tessiee

      "I only want to say that "Ashleigh Banfield" is the whitest white name of any white person, ever."

      That's kinda how I feel about "Blake Lively", which is apparently the name of a person.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Most black Ashleys, & half of white Ashleys in the South, are male, though.

    3. Chichikovovich

      It isn't even the whitest name of someone from Manitoba. They had a premier a few years ago called Sterling Lyon. (A Tory, as you might have guessed.)

      1. emmelemm

        From your lips to {insert deity of choice or impersonal wheel of fate here} 's ears.

          1. emmelemm

            Unfortunately, with the impersonal wheel of fate, you can whisper at it all you want, but it ignores you. (Being impersonal and all.)

    1. Negropolis

      I actually saw some article on this, yesterday, and I think politicos have identified only nine, yes, nine, that are sure goners because of redistricting. I have a feeling that's it's going to be a lot more than that, though. I really do think the political class is overstating the effect redistricting will have on shoring up their gains.

      1. flamingpdog

        Just another reason why he has a slight problem with women – he has a teensy, tiny little one.

  11. CrunchyKnee

    It just amazes me to no end how these stupid fucking idiotic knuckle dragging Koch suckers got elected in the first place, but then I turn on the cable teevee and weep. Pass me the LSD25 and I'll see y'all in December.

  12. metamarcisf

    Miss him in January? He'll be handed a Foxnews assignment the day after he loses the election.

    1. rickmaci

      Fux won't have him because even they require the ability to utter a noun and verb in somewhat close proximity to each other.

          1. BoatOfVelociraptors

            I'm fairly certain I have tipped daddy issues a few Dead presidents in my life.

  13. comrad_darkness

    Joe Walsh, more than anything else on this planet, makes me comprehend the right wing complaint of government welfare queens sucking at the government teat, too lazy and useless to get an actual job and earn the air they breathe.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      You should send that to Lt Col Duckworth so her campaign can put it on a billboard.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      I think he has a very tiny tenure. He should be careful when amputating it.

  14. stroge

    sometimes i wish i could dip off into the delusional/fantasy reality that these white T.E.A. Party goons live in. must be tough to be a douchebag.

    1. scvirginia

      Please don't even go there. Visiting the teabagger fantasy world must be very like being consumed by an oversized blanc mange…

  15. edgydrifter

    The mouth says "kiddo," but the eyes scream "BITCH! SAMMICH! NOW!" This guy is an Amercian treasure.

      1. sullivanst

        Cow poop has considerably more value than Walsh – it's a fertilizer, after all. Joe Walsh never helped anything grow, except Wonketteers' ire.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      I'll bet that wide open nasty-ass hollering piehole of his has screamed that any number of times.

    2. fuflans

      by 'american treasure', i assume you mean "that thing we lost in that desert once outside LA when the weather was really crappy and we were fighting a lot"?

      yes?

  16. SayItWithWookies

    “I’ve called Tammy Duckworth a hero, hundreds of times. This is a manufactured issue, because when I’m out there — hey look, this is the lay of the land out there now. When I’m out there, I’m being taped by Tammy Duckworth’s people. They are manufacturing this crisis—”

    Oh right — whose fault is it that Joe Walsh is demeaning Tammy Duckworth and getting called an asshole for it? Tammy Duckworth's. Jesus fucking Christ — Walsh clearly hasn't been hurt enough by his own selfish stupidity for him to recognize when he's doing it, has he?

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      "I’m being taped by Tammy Duckworth’s people. They are manufacturing this crisis—”

      Uh, Joe … they aren't "manufacturing" it. They're just fucking taping it.
      I know this is kinda complicated, but sit down and study this until you've got a good grip on the basic idea: If you stop saying stupid shit, they won't tape you saying stupid shit.

        1. Biel_ze_Bubba

          He passed the one where there are eight drinks on the bar, he drinks seven of them, and has to tell the bartender how many are left.

          He passed it on his third attempt.

  17. Extemporanus

    WALSH: "Do you find me sadistic? You know, Kiddo, I'd like to believe that you're aware enough even now to know that there's nothing sadistic in my actions. At this moment, this is me at my most masochistic."

    BANFIELD: "Joe, it's your campaign."

  18. Limeylizzie

    I hope this bastardy, fucking, buggering, cunt-faced, bloated, greasy-haired, mouth-breathing, Guinness-swilling, woman-abusing , self-involved, Tea-bagging clown is out in November.

    1. OldWhiteLies

      Hey now,

      GUINESS-SWILLING FUCKING LIBELLLOUSNESS!!11!!

      The rest I can let you have at 80% off. But I just am NOT going to concede Guiness-swilling to these toff-wannabe-prats! (Did I do that right, LL? Or have I mixed up my Brit derogatories?)

    2. fuflans

      i have said before that this particular cunt makes me more stabby than most, but now i have to live by the sword, so to speak, and am actively working for tammy.

      and it's been a loonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggg fucking campaign.

      so. if any of you all feel like helping tammy… we would SO be happy for it.

      i will not link as it's not hard to find.

      1. Limeylizzie

        Good for you! I despise that Walsh person, what a bastard he is. I am giving money even as we speak.

    3. MittBorg

      Lizzie, do I get the sense that you might have some aversion to the fine, upstanding citizen known as Joe (The Bad One) Walsh?

  19. rickmaci

    I thought for a moment he was doing a reading of Gone with the Wind: "Oh Ashleigh, Ashleigh, Ashleigh…"

    1. JustPixelz

      Especially when he said "As God is my witness, my children will go hungry again."

  20. Groupshrug

    Joe Walsh, I suggest a different, classier approach;

    Suggest that the Obamacare death panels will probably put her to death because she's an amputee. Then you can use that reasoning to say the Obamacare death panels will kill veterans. That will make you a defender of veterans, because you don't want them to be killed by Obamacare death panels.

  21. BloviateMe

    Chicken hawk telling vets how they are supposed to behave.

    I'd like him to swing by here and inform the guys in the shop wearing the "Vietnam Vet" hats why they should quit pretentiously sporting these "look at me" devices. I'm CERTAIN the advice will be well received.

    1. MittBorg

      I went over to Twitter and called him 19 kinds of chickenhawk, and called on all teh vets I know to kick his ass on Twitter. Tammy Duckworth is a high-ranking member of IAVA, who have called for Walsh to resign. Other vet organizations are rallying around her as we speak. I'm hoping he'll be out sooner than he thinks.

  22. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    I say Ashleigh's name about as often when I'm fapping… over straight-Anderson-Cooper-lookalike Joe Walsh.

    1. finallyhappy

      He is a Republican- they are all real heroes- the ones who fought, the ones who got 5 deferments, the ones who went to France to convert people, the ones who insult real veterans- being a Republican is enough

      1. TribecaMike

        "Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons." — Frank Zappa

        1. ChessieNefercat

          You all know that's his "safe" word for those occasions where people would get all pissy over him saying "bitch" or "c*nt, like the bitch deserves.

  23. mavenmaven

    The things that guy does with his mouth during this interview suggests that after being voted out in January he has a bright future in porn.

    1. tessiee

      As do the things he does with his mouth after the cameras have been turned off. I bet.

  24. ASHLEIGH_Joe

    I kinda love that Joe managed to complain about Tammy Duckworth being a vet, literally hours before July 4th. It's like he doesn't even WANT to be re-elected.

      1. emmelemm

        They love to talk about supporting the troops, which really means supporting the multi-billion dollar corporations of the military-industrial complex by pumping taxpayer monies into unnecessary and/or substandard equipment for our armed forces.

        The actual TROOPS, well, meh…

  25. Fairtackle

    Okay, I am trying to think of something nice to say about Joe Walsh, well, here goes;

    filthy piece of distended rectum

    ah well, I tried.

    1. Ducksworthy

      Please keep in mind that Reince Priebus is the trademarked name for a prolapsed rectum. Calling Congressman Walsh a filthy piece of distended rectum, while accurate, is getting close to infringing on the Priebus franchise.

    1. tessiee

      The Former Mr. Tessie once said that Ashleigh looked like a combination of Tina Fey and Julia Louis Dreyfus.

  26. rocktonsam

    wondering what kind of health care his kids have and who pays for it.

    if DCFS hasn't been called, they should be, an intervention is appropriate in this case

    his kids deserve a father not an asshole

    1. James Michael Curley

      Huff Po listed Joe Walsh as a congressman opposed to and planning to repeal the ACA but his 24 year old son benefits from being on his parent policy.

      1. ChessieNefercat

        I believe the son is on mom's policy according to good old kid-supporting Joe.

      2. rocktonsam

        its funny how nobody, not even Fox Newz comes to his defense.

        may be the tea party could be about over

        1. James Michael Curley

          One estimate I saw, and I wish I flagged it to follow it, predicted that of about 26 ‘tea party’ congress members elected in 2010, 14 are in the margin of error or below the majority in approval and voter preference.

      1. sullivanst

        So he's fucking stupid in addition to being completely obnoxious?

        Apparently Joe is not familiar with the old joke that a verbal agreement is "not worth the paper it's printed on".

  27. shortsandpants

    "LISTEN, Ashley. I don't go around boasting about my pointless life, you reprobate! At least I have the DECENCY to ride the coattails of others for personal gain. I mean— Jeebus. If I lost my damned legs fighting for this country and had to sit in a wheelchair, who would hear the words coming out of my ass? Ridiculous."

  28. TribecaMike

    You just know in two years max this schmuck is going to be on Judge Judy suing a landlord for a security deposit.

    1. sullivanst

      Only for the landlord to produce pictures of the walls covered in feces and the DNA tests proving it's Walsh's.

  29. chascates

    "Let us not assassinate this lady further, Congressman You have done enough. Have you no sense of decency sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?"

    1. TribecaMike

      Thanks for the links. This internet thing just may be a force for good after all.

    1. not that Radio

      I'll concede the minute brain. But having large semicircular canals implies that he is well-balanced.

      1. C_R_Eature

        "Assfish". It's all about the common name. "Bony-Eared" is just the insult cherry on top of the Insult Sundae.

      1. C_R_Eature

        Oh, I dunno…a mini-brained bottom feeder who's always in the dark is pretty spot-on, I think. And, again, it's all about the common name

  30. Blueb4sunrise

    Just got to see this.
    BWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Fucking, spitting , snorting , hysterical!!!!

    We need to set this to [some sort of] music.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      I am woman, hear me roar, Joe you fuckface.
      Theme from Gone With the Wind.
      Theme from Benny Hill.
      Fortunate Son.
      I Will Survive (go on now, go, Joe you fuckface).

  31. tessiee

    Mr. Beardsley!
    Mr. Beardsley!
    Mr. Beardsley!
    I'm only gonna call you fifty more times!
    – MST3K

  32. tessiee

    Next week, Joe's gonna go on the Today show and say, "Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt", while Tom Cruise seethes with envy in his living room.*
    `
    `
    `
    *PS. After Tom Cruise's appearance on the Today show where he said "Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt", his co-workers had a Tshirt made for Matt's birthday present that had, "Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt" printed on it.

  33. ttommyunger

    Joe Walsh, Joe the Plumber, meh. Now the she-male: without the glasses I'd want to bang her. With the glasses, I think I'd bang her and then talk to her for a couple of hours.

  34. Jadetiger79

    So…why not cut his mike and say what needs to be said and then turn it back on and watch the fireworks?

    Imagine the comedy gold that would be pouring forth from that hellish maw.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      That's an excellent idea and I hope somebody follows through before he goes all Foxhole on us.

    2. Toomush_Infer

      Nah, this was so much better – congressmen always want to think they own the airways, and it's such a surprise when somebody else does…

    1. Negropolis

      BTW, I love the whole "Sweetie, men are talking." undertone to the whole thing. It took whatever little bit of self-control he has left to not call her outside of her name.

      1. MittBorg

        You called it! He was practically having to hold his jaw shut on anything more offensive than "kiddo." What a fucking egotistical prick.

  35. valthemus

    I'd need to believe the person he ran against when he got elected to Congress was an even more ginormous loser than Walsh which would explain why actual humans — possessing at least the minimal cognitive faculties needed to operate a voting machine — cast their votes for this sorry, sorry talking turd.

    In a just universe, kids in an Illinois summer camp would be making craft wallets out of him right now.

  36. glamourdammerung

    I remember when people had enough pride in themselves that they would never say such a stupid thing publicly, let alone double down on it.

  37. unclejeems

    What? Defeat Joe Walsh and retire the sponsor of such glittering pieces of legislation in this Congress as:

    JH REs 56: A House resolution to "git the budget balanced, dammit!"
    HR.2457: The Palestinian Accountability Act. Goddam those previously unaccountable Palestians!
    H.R.2945: The Capital Gains Inflation Relief Act of 2011. In this economy, who needs more relief than anyone with a capital to gain.
    H.R.3987: The Small Business Protection Act of 2012. For reasons plain to all.

    And to top it all off:

    H.R.3403: The Save Christmas Act. Christmas was dying. Then along came the hero Walsh.

    He's practically a 21st Century Henry Clay.

    FYI Joe defeated incumbent Mellisa Bean in 2010, although she out-spent him 4 to 1. The Teatard was strong in that district. Now, maybe not so much.

    Cheers!

  38. telecustom1972

    On the brighter side, Walsh, who is known for being a doting father, will have plenty of time to spend with his kids come November.

  39. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Memo to Illinois voters:

    Although it is true that idiots are entitled to representation, it is not necessary that their representative be an idiot.

  40. josephmax

    Here's his problem: your basic model of teabagging mouth-breather has been conditioned to love them some Iraq War vets. "U-S-A!!!!" Walsh has to run against that, so he needs to knock Duckworth off the pedestal somehow. The "purple band-aid" bit they used against Kerry is obviously worthless in this case. So this is what he came up with. It's somewhat effective when used in a crowd of teabaggers, but outside that bubble it's damnable. Since he's got nothing else, he's got to double down or lose the teabaggers. Teabaggers stay home on election day, he's out.

    Sucks to be him.

  41. BaldarTFlagass

    Wow, almost 250 comments and not a single tiresome reference to a certain guitar player. I am very proud.

  42. CogitoErgoSumo

    Tammy Duckworth does more for this country before 5 am than Joe Walsh does in a year. And thats with her missing 25 percent of her body. Im jus' sayin'

  43. Toomush_Infer

    Ashleigh didn't serve in Iraq: Joe Walsh spent his military years in the Lee Strasberg Acting School, that's his opinion….fuck the turd….

Comments are closed.