GOOD HEAVENS  4:14 pm July 5, 2012

Why Does Chris Rock Hate Slavery So Much?

by Jim Newell

I bet they didn'tBecause we hate ourselves, your Wonkette spent the early part of its Fourth of July Holiday surfing for wingnuts yelling at unpatriotic celebrities criticizing the Birth of America. This thing, “Shameful: Aaron Sorkin, Left celebrate Independence Day by slamming America; Update: Chris Rock joins in: ‘Happy white peoples independence day’; Don Cheadle laughs along; Zach Braff piles on,” really hit the spot. Did you know that Chris Rock and Don Cheadle are true traitors for noting that the enslavement of black people was very much “a thing” during the signing of the Declaration of Independence?

What Chris Rock did… onee must never do this, let’s just say:

Chris Rock seems to have tweeted up a bit of controversy over the July 4th holiday.

The comedian, whose latest project is executive producing Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell for FX, ruffled more than a few feathers after sending out this message to his followers: “Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren’t free but I’m sure they enjoyed fireworks.”

AND THEN WHO JOINS IN, CHEADLE. Laughing like a clown!

This all led to waves of nutters shouting at the black celebrities to stop being such sourpusses. Why don’t you live in another country if you don’t like it! Stop having your own perspective, adopt mine! FOR FUCK’S SAKE, THERE ARE CHILDREN READING TWITTER.

[Twitchy, HuffPo]

 
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{ 121 comments }

evan7257 July 5, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Combine Juneteenth and July 4th into an awesome festival of being free, at least on paper I mean, right, we can't just legislate equality and liberty, that is something that has to arise organically? Right? That's the problem?

nounverb911 July 5, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Needs more "Emancipation Proclamation".

metamarcisf July 5, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Hey Chris, there's a reason why separate water fountains were mandated in the Constitution.

BaldarTFlagass July 5, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Where is Chris Rock's birth certificate?

actor212 July 5, 2012 at 4:41 pm

He wasn't born. He sprung fully formed from the head of Richard Pryor.

BarackMyWorld July 5, 2012 at 4:19 pm

ther wur white peeple slaves 2.

rickmaci July 5, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Yah. Both of them!!

weejee July 5, 2012 at 4:39 pm

A bit higher number, closer to 50,000. Get caught pinching an apple in Ireland and be offered a choice between hanging or 20-year indenturement in the Colonies.

actor212 July 5, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Yes, but after 20, you were given your papers to walk, and could become a citizen.

Guppy July 5, 2012 at 4:53 pm

And even the indentured got full credit in the Census.

weejee July 5, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Sometimes. Sin a little get a little added. Family rumor has it my surname came to 'Murica from Ireland in the early 1700s courtesy of the beloved transport.

TribecaMike July 5, 2012 at 5:39 pm

George Carlin had a good routine about Irish indentured servants in one of his HBO specials.

MilwaukeeKent July 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

But they had dentures!!

lefty74 July 5, 2012 at 4:20 pm

He flat wasn't funny until he got a staff of writers. If he wrote this himself its the first time I laughed at his material.

valmach July 5, 2012 at 8:38 pm

agreed!

ManchuCandidate July 5, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I don't know why the wingnuts would masturbate in a complete rage. By my strictest interpretation as based on the whizdum of Wingnutty originalists view of the US Amercia Constitution, Chris Rock should only make them 3/5ths as angry.

Madfall July 5, 2012 at 4:44 pm

3/5ths as angry is still 2/5ths more angry than normal people ever get.

Comrade Wingtardd July 5, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Well that would make you quite the Burkean minimalist.

Ryy July 5, 2012 at 4:21 pm

He almost as uppity as that one in da White House

Designer_Radio July 5, 2012 at 7:41 pm

He's probably still all uppity from the Big Black Barbecue the Black president had at the Hip-Hop Blackhouse last year. Black.

BaldarTFlagass July 5, 2012 at 4:21 pm

"the slaves weren’t free but I’m sure they enjoyed fireworks.”

Yeah well except that fireworks displays on the plantation probably consisted of setting the hair of recalcitrant field hands on fire. "Oooh, look at Tiberius run!"

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I notice you don't specify the location of said hair.

actor212 July 5, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Uniquely Merkin!

BoatOfVelociraptors July 5, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Or soon to be merkin.

sewollef July 5, 2012 at 7:05 pm

ew…. TMI

nounverb911 July 5, 2012 at 4:21 pm

What did dead zombie Breitbart have to say about this?

ManchuCandidate July 5, 2012 at 4:22 pm

"Riley's Brainzzz brainzzz brainzzz"

rickmaci July 5, 2012 at 4:31 pm

They were not slaves. They were plants set up by Obama's great grandparents, ACORN and the commie left to make the US look bad in history books.

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 4:39 pm

HAHAHAHA!! Nothing! Because he's STILL DEAD.

Sorry. Didn't the US Gummint just publish something official about how zombies don't exist? Right after the zombie apocalypse survival warning sheets?

actor212 July 5, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Mermaids. Not zombies.

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Two separate issues. The mermaid announcement occurred the same week as the Higgs Boson announcement. The zombie announcement occurred a few weeks prior, and was a reaction to some Federal agency publishing a "How To Survive The Coming Zombie Apocalypse" guide.

finallyhappy July 5, 2012 at 4:45 pm

seriously, I have worked with zombies-the living dead or maybe just really dead but somehow got their lazy useless zombie asses into the office

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 4:54 pm

I might have mentioned Couch Woman, who was one of those individuals. She hardly came into the office at all, most days. Nevertheless, she managed to draw a paycheck for many years.

bobbert July 6, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Ha. A few short blocks from where I am staying in Las Vegas is the Zombie Apocalypse Store (supplying all your zombie apocalypse needs). That's even more truthy than the intertubes.

MittBorg July 7, 2012 at 12:44 pm

??!

Well, at least we won't go unequipped into that long dark night.

CrunchyKnee July 5, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I suppose most folks in Alabama agreed with Mr. Rock.

"Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren’t free but I’m sure they enjoyed fireworks", "Well, I reckon that was prolly true, by god….(spit)." said Alabama Governor Dufus McCrackerhead.

spends2much July 5, 2012 at 4:25 pm

And yet Chris Rock could probably buy all of Alabama if he wanted to… which I am quite sure he does not.

actor212 July 5, 2012 at 4:43 pm

But he might just for shits and giggles

"This here is Massa Rock…"

spends2much July 5, 2012 at 4:56 pm

I am liking this idea more and more :)

Come here a minute July 5, 2012 at 4:22 pm

If you don't love America, go live in a hotel in Rwanda or something!

actor212 July 5, 2012 at 4:43 pm

DON CHEADLE LI–

Oh. Wait.

Billmatic July 5, 2012 at 4:22 pm

I watched the Battle of Algiers yesterday, it felt more subversive than anything Zach Braff would "pile on."

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Wasn't it something? I felt like someone had hit me really hard for a couple of hours afterwards. Like my eyes didn't want to resolve the familiar world around me.

Billmatic July 5, 2012 at 4:51 pm

I saw it in college one before, but I think I was too stupid at that point to really appreciate it. The parallels to our grand old country were not lost on me even then, though.

I'm probably going to rewatch it by the end of the month, rented the Criterion edition and didn't get to watch all the documentaries about it.

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 4:58 pm

I saw it for the first time a few years ago. Pontecorvo is a very interesting filmmaker. I'm about to watch Burn with Marlon Brando. What did you think of Pontecorvo's other films?

Billmatic July 5, 2012 at 5:09 pm

I have not seen them.

Comrade Wingtardd July 5, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Burn is fantastic.

sewollef July 5, 2012 at 7:17 pm

In an unfortunate coincidence, whenever my French ex and I visited her parents in Marseille, I'd often get into an argument with her fat fuck of a father. Since he was a racist bigot it was too easy.

I later learned that her father happened to be an ex-paratrooper that fought the FLN in the Battle of Algiers — for real. Funny thing is, the largest minority in Marseille is….. drum roll….. Algerian. Yay!

I loved telling him how we'd just eaten at a great Algerian restaurant in their neighbourhood, just to watch steam coming out of his moronic ears.

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Oh, I wish I could've been there to see it!

Did you ever see Michael Haneke's Cache? Very interesting. And the story has yet to be told of all the horrors the French visited on the Vietnamese, Kampucheans and Lao. I'm glad that Fate has decided to broil that wretched man on the spit of his own rage and hatred.

scvirginia July 5, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Don't forget Haiti…

Joshua Norton July 5, 2012 at 4:23 pm

The so-called "slaves" were all a bunch of happy-go-lucky banjo players who didn't have anything to do but live for free off the kindness of their white "owners". Just ask any wingnut southron at one of those never ending Civil War renactments they're always having.

ChernobylSoup July 5, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah indeed.

Nowisallthereis July 5, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Or Allen West

Goonemeritus July 5, 2012 at 4:23 pm

An uncritical examination of our history isn’t an examination at all. “Striving for a More Perfect Union “is the ongoing responsibility of every generation.

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 4:42 pm

See, wingnuts don't like the "striving" part. The hoverounds and monster feeds are all emblematic/symptomatic of this. They want to be passive consumers of the world around them, and they eat the world.

"Striving" requires looking at what's happening around us, making records, checking information, thinking things over, engaging our neighbours in discussion, finding out why those who don't agree with us hold their positions, et cetera, ad infinitum. Over and over again, because the world changes with every generation.

And those lazy fucks just want none of it.

Goonemeritus July 5, 2012 at 7:04 pm

And their view of history is the best example, anything more nuanced than what appears on a Hallmark card is by definition elitist.

redarmyzombie July 6, 2012 at 4:23 am

Oh, I think you give them too much credit.

ChernobylSoup July 5, 2012 at 4:25 pm

It's okay, they only used 3/5ths of their allotted 140 characters.

Baconzgood July 5, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Well Played

*golf clap*

Buzz Feedback July 5, 2012 at 4:25 pm

What does Iron Eyes Cody have to say about all this?

Goonemeritus July 5, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Didn’t most slaves have TV’s and refrigerators?

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 4:44 pm

We sure do, these days.

Baconzgood July 5, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Don't they know the best way to remember American history during the revolution is to forget it. Tex-Ass is teaching us that.

spends2much July 5, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I love HuffPo… "a bit of controversy". Yes, it is very controversial to point out that black people did not enjoy independence at the same time as white Murricans did.

Rednecks are so sensitive.

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 4:44 pm

To facts. To truth. To the feelings or rights of others, not so much.

barto July 5, 2012 at 4:27 pm

How many times do we have to tell these people that we simply don't talk about these things? They are SO immature!

phlox✔ July 5, 2012 at 4:56 pm

This is another 'quiet room' topic.

Estproph July 5, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Damn them ingrate slaves anyways! They had it pretty good, what with free food and places to live, and NO TAXES!

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Oh, geezus, just yesterday I was reading some self-righteous twatwaffle pontificating endlessly about how lucky the Africans who were sold into slavery in the US were, and how much better off they are today than they would have been had they remained in Africa.

Totally neglecting to mention, of course, that the majority of problems that plagued, and continue to plague, Africa, are the direct result of Western intervention in that benighted continent.

Estproph July 5, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Not to mention that by some estimates, around 80% of those shipped over as slaves didn't survive the joyride on some of those luxury yachts…they were chained together literally over every square inch of the hold, and if they died, no one did anything about it until the ship docked. Lucky duckies.

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Yes. Funny how all those textbooks about slavery fail to make that point, that for all the millions shipped here, nearly ten times as many died in mortal pain and suffering.

MosesInvests July 5, 2012 at 8:23 pm

And if the slavers found that they had underestimated the amount of food needed, they'd just dump the weakest overboard. Slave ships were always followed by sharks.

Hera Sent Me July 5, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Chris is right. Few black men in America on July 4th 1776 were freemen.

But then, no women were, regardless of race.

(Oops. Now I'm going to two hells.)

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Look on the bright side! We'll ALL be there with you!

scvirginia July 5, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Heaven for the climate, hell for the company…

redarmyzombie July 6, 2012 at 4:26 am

Hopefully, neither of them will have zombie Brietbart…

dopper0189 July 5, 2012 at 4:30 pm

How dare he point out that our founding fathers were mere mortals who made mistakes and not deities?!?!?! Doesn't he you know conservative have to believe these guys made no mistakes!

chascates July 5, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Boo-hoo! Wait till they start playing 'cowboys and nigras'.

ph7 July 5, 2012 at 4:34 pm

I'm not saying hating July 4th is right, but I understand…

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Gosh, the tightie-righties are SO butthurt about EVUHthang just all the fuckin' time. Methinks it's time they unlaxed and unwadded their knickers, which seem to be rubbing sand right up their arseholes, by the sound of things. I mean, Britain ended slavery decades before America did, after all.

SayItWithWookies July 5, 2012 at 4:38 pm

These damn liberals — don't they understand that criticism is what we do to others to make us feel better than them? We're not supposed to point out the flaws in our country — why, if we did that, we'd look like damn uncaring bastards when we didn't do anything about them.

JustPixelz July 5, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Historical footnote: Before the Civil War, there were serious proposals to send the slaves to Africa or to a Caribbean island/colony. Bills were introduced, money was raised. The trouble was the slaves themselves did not want to leave the land of their birth. Maybe they were afraid of such a change; maybe they had relatives on the next plantation. Maybe they trusted we'd eventually make good on that "all men are created equal".

America has not much to be proud of when it comes to slavery. Except that enough citizens came to hate it so much they waged a bloody, bloody war on the slaveholders. We did the right thing, albeit four score and seven years late.

What we did afterward is inexcusable. Segregation of all kinds. Poll taxes. Miscegenation laws. The KKK. The Civil War isn't really over yet.

Billmatic July 5, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Will it ever be?

Redgyal July 5, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Or maybe they felt entitled due to something called a birthright.

gurukalehuru July 6, 2012 at 8:28 am

That was more than a serious proposal. That became the nation of Liberia.

actor212 July 5, 2012 at 4:40 pm

I wonder how many them nutjob right wingers have Twitter avatars of the Stars and Bars?

BaldarTFlagass July 5, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Well, it's either that or the Gadsden Flag. "Don't Tweet On Me!"

M. Bouffant July 5, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Heritage, Not Hate!!!

arihaya July 5, 2012 at 5:22 pm

all of 'em, Katie..

duh I hope I don't get banned for that.

redarmyzombie July 6, 2012 at 4:29 am

Hm, let's see…no reference to machinegunning…no usage of <REDACTED>…

Nope, you should be good!

Extemporanus July 5, 2012 at 4:42 pm

White people celebrate Independence Day like this…

"OOOH! AHHH! OHHH!"

Black people celebrate Independence Day like this

"OWWW! ARGHH! OHHH!"

Haha, amirite? But seriously, folks…

MissTaken July 5, 2012 at 4:44 pm

It's a sad day when good ole slave-owning white males who didn't want to pay their taxes get no love from comedians.

Not_So_Much July 5, 2012 at 4:51 pm

I refuse to click on a HuffPo link if it doesn't promise gratuitous sideboob.

stroge July 5, 2012 at 4:53 pm

he's right

ghblowhard July 5, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Well it's not like most African Americans came her by free will

mavenmaven July 5, 2012 at 4:55 pm

No critiquing of America unless you are Romney's team writing in Germany.

Guppy July 5, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Can't he just celebrate White People Shooting At Each Other Day?

Troglodeity July 5, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Why is Chris Rock so bitter? You'd think we Americans don't even celebrate Emancipation Day: the day we ended slavery.

ASHLEIGH_Joe July 5, 2012 at 5:00 pm

I love how one of those responses was that "the Declaration led directly to emancipation".

I mean, sure, it took 90 years, the bloodiest war in American history, and also America was basically the last Western nation to abolish slavery, but that was really just emancipation as the crow flies, so shut up, libruls.

MosesInvests July 5, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Uh, actually, that would be Spain, in the 1890's.

fuflans July 5, 2012 at 5:03 pm

i think that was some mighty fine snark, personally.

Antispandex July 5, 2012 at 5:05 pm

It's taken a while, but I think I may still live to see "slavery deniers". You gotta love America.

JackObin July 5, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Former comedian Rock left out the crucial word fat.

arihaya July 5, 2012 at 5:13 pm

SHAMEFUL !!

Slave owners were JOB CREATORS !!

TribecaMike July 5, 2012 at 5:40 pm

When are black comedians going to realize that only right wing white people know anything about black humor?

Mandala P A July 5, 2012 at 5:44 pm

as a black woman, i must say…i love wonkette readers…ya'll are funny…

a_pink_poodle July 5, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Stop politicizing slavery!

TribecaMike July 5, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Glenn Beck recently bought the rights to Pigmeat Markham, Redd Foxx, and Moms Mabley's recordings and had them destroyed because "If I don't get it, it's not funny and it shouldn't exist."

That's a joke of course. Pigmeat, Redd, and Moms are eternal!

ttommyunger July 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Chris would never find work if he quit performing in blackface.

gogogodzilla July 5, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Sorry to go all history geek on all y'all, but here's what Chris Rock would have said if he had more than 140 characters: "What, to the American slave, is your Fourth of July? I answer: a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelly to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciations of tyrants, brass fronted impudence; your shouts of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanksgivings, with all your religious parade, and solemnity, are, to him, mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy—a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages. There is not a nation on the earth guilty of practices, more shocking and bloody, than are the people of these United States, at this very hour."
http://www.blackpast.org/?q=1852-frederick-dougla

Negropolis July 6, 2012 at 12:59 am

To be honest, it's a dickish/trollish thing to say, but it's quintessential Chris Rock, so…meh. All I have to say to Chris is that black people (free and slave) fought in every struggle this nation has ever been engaged in, including the war of independence in which they fought with the long-game belief and hope that the ideas of the Enlightenment would eventually allow their ancestors to claim their equality. It's as much my holiday as it is anyone elses, and I wish more pretentious, limosine-liberal celebrities would take ownership of what is all of ours equally, instead of immaturely trying to reject it for "kool kids" points.

You know "America, Fuck Yeah!" is ridiculously annoying, but so is "Fuck America!"

swordfis July 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm

wow

thefrontpage July 6, 2012 at 11:34 am

News flash: Chris Rock is a moron, an idiot, an asshole, a racist, a bigot, and an ignoramous. Someone needs to call him out on his repeatedly racist comments. He is simply an ignorant, hateful racist. He's not funny, and he's a moron. Really. No humor today–just the truth.

Negropolis July 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Oh, just STFU. Thanks.

thefrontpage July 6, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Chris Rock has done so much for positive, encouraging, progressive race relations in this country and the world, why, he's a regular Martin Luther King, Jr., and Gandhi, and Mandela–all rolled into one! He's so adept and polished at classy, stylish democracy, tact, and professionalism! Why, he should win the Nobel Prize for Race Relations! He's such a unifier and peacemaker! He should win awards for his great work in race relations!!!!!!!

bobbert July 6, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Chris Rock is a fucking comedian. If you don't think he's funny, ignore him (I mostly do). This particular tweet was not funny, but it was, you know, historically accurate.

thefrontpage July 6, 2012 at 10:49 pm

He's a pretty unfunny comedian, and one who needs a history lesson. I'm quite familar with comedians–good ones who are really funny, like Carlin, Pryor, Bruce, Crystal, Leno, Letterman, Dangerfield, Seinfeld, and about 100 others. But Rock's not funny–he's unfunny, he's biased, he's a racist, and he's a bit of a moron. And I'm not the only person on earth who thinks so–many people do. In fact, many people hate Rock far more than I do. I'm just stating what many, many people think. The time is long past for Rock–or, there never was a time for Rock. He's an idiot.

sullivanst July 5, 2012 at 6:28 pm

But just as few votes.

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Available on Netflix to my great surprise.

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Thank you, Comrade. I think it's scheduled for some time this week. Will report back.

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 8:24 pm

I wish I could forget Haiti …

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