Christian KnightsHey Winfield, Alabama, why you so mad at this pastor, Rev. William Collier, who just wants to hold whites-only conference for whites-only pastors, because of religious liberty, and because he doesn’t have the “facilities” to accomodate other races? (Quick: what “facilities” might he need? Slave quarters? A jail cell? A chicken deep-fryer? A kosher kitchen? Definitely a kosher kitchen.) What part of “religious liberty” don’t you get, is what Rev. Collier and his whites-only brethren want to know!

“The mayor ordered our flyers to be taken down. When did they start religious censorship?” asked Reverend Mel Lewis of Christian Identity Ministries.

Among the Ku Klux Klan flags and white supremacy slogans, a small group of so-called “white Christians” contend they have been treated unfairly – that they have the right, like any other American, to worship how they wish.

“We are not breaking any laws. We’re not violating any ordinances. We’re bringing the Word of God to people who want it, obviously, or they wouldn’t be here,” said Lewis.

Of course the Klan is in thick attendance at Collier’s conference this year, and of course they will close the festivities with the sacred ceremonial burning of the cross, but Collier wants you to know (all together now!) he is not a racist. He just happens to believe the white race was chosen by God to be better than all the other ones! And on that, he rests his case!

The organizer of the event, Rev. William C. Collier says that his Church of God’s Chosen (Christian Identity Ministries) is not a hate group but adds that he believes “the white race is God’s chosen people.”
Collier defends why only white Christians are invited.

“We don’t have the facilities to accommodate other people. We haven’t got any invitations to black, Muslim events. Of course we are not invited to Jewish events and stuff,” Collier said.

Why won’t the Jews invite the Rev. William Collier and his sacred burning crosses to their events and stuff? Maybe fix him a nice plate of kugel? Hop to it, Jews. Also, please try to stop infringing on Rev. William Collier’s religious liberty, by existing.


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  • nounverb911

    "The south shall burn again"
    –Zombie General Sherman

    • MrFizzy

      They were thinking of holding a dumbfucks only conference, but that would be nearly the entire population of Alabama.

    • AbandonHope

      Hey, I hear biomass energy is all the rage these days.

    • YasserArraFeck

      Not soon enough

    • rickmaci

      Sherman should have finished the job the first time.

    • mayor_quimby

      I have to post a picture of the historical marker of the surrender of Atlanta, funny, there's no museum to Northern Victory at the site, just a plaque and some apartments.
      Zombie General Sherman would approve.

    • Negropolis

      With all of this climate change, Zombie Sherman better hurry back if he wants to get their first.

  • Pragmatist2

    Hey, they will all be wearing sheets so how would anyone know if they were white or not?

  • CrunchyKnee

    All beliefs in pretend sky fairies are stupid, but add a big dash of southern cracker racism and you have something uniquely American.

  • mavenmaven

    Because, you know, Jesus was the only Scandinavian-looking dude in all of first century Judea.

    • WhatTheHeck

      That’s because Jesus’ mother was miraculously inseminated by Thor himself.

      • teebob2000

        Viking in the woodpile.

      • doloras

        No joke, these Nazi scumbuckets actually argue that people from Galilee were Aryans who'd gotten lost somehow, rather than J00s.

  • OT I'm back from vacation! What did I miss?


    Oh my.

    • Biff

      Fabulous! And where did you summer, Sharkey?

  • Terry

    The Rev Collier unites all the other groups in Winfield, AL, in the sincere desire that he'd relocate to another place.

  • metamarcisf

    Water fountains don't come cheap.

    • Biff

      Also, lunch counters.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    If I were black or Jewish, I wouldn't want to attend anyway. Hell, I'm white and have no interest in attending.

    • boobookitteh

      Jesus was black AND a Jew. I'm sure he has no interest in attending either.

      • Groupshrug

        Jesus was also an anchor baby.

      • WIDTAP

        Wait, I though Jesus was Norwegian. At least that's what I got from the picture.

        • boobookitteh

          Even a Norwegian would have had a hell of a tan in that desert sun

  • Pithaughn

    Ahh, the pwescious white males are so down trodden. All the cool kids keep giving them wedgies and pee on their burning crosses, waaaahhhh.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Neil Young was right.

    • ph7

      wheel in the ditch
      And a wheel on the track

    • YasserArraFeck

      Yup – that Cortez was a stone killer…..

    • not that Radio

      I hope Ronnie Van Zant will remember…

    • Guppy

      Where Neil Young comes from, Maine is "southern."

  • Not_So_Much

    It's almost like the townfolk don't even like the Klan anymore. Wtf is 'Murka coming to?

  • so it is written…"And again on days 1 through 7, He rested, as teh inferior blacks were doing all His work while He sat on the porch drinking bourbon."

  • Sounds like a white Collier crime to me. Rev Collier, Bain Cap on line 3.

  • nounverb911

    I wonder if Airbus is reconsidering it's decision to build airliners in Alabama.

    • YasserArraFeck

      No problem – they'll put the shitty seats in the back of the (air)bus

    • ChernobylSoup

      Airbus execs read the news from Alabama and think it means they'll get some old school German engineering.

    • Guppy

      The Europeans can appreciate depressed wages just as well as other corporations people.

    • Biff

      They'll provide short sleeved robes, to comply with OSHA regulations about long sleeves getting caught in the machinery.

    • Negropolis

      Nah. They like their jets to crash, apparently.

      Too soon?

  • Estproph

    "The organizer of the event, Rev. William C. Collier says that his Church of God’s Chosen (Christian Identity Ministries) is not a hate group but adds that he believes “the white race is God’s chosen people.”

    There is nothing I can say about this to make fun of it. I literally want to go to sleep, in the hopes that this will be gone when I wake up.

    • Oblios_Cap

      He thinks that all white folkes is Jooz! O' Lawdy!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Just because all other races are inferior, doesn't mean he hates them.

      I suppose he's being charitable, by KKK standards — and they probably don't much care for his attitude.

    • Jesus Slept.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Maybe the Rev. Collier would get more invitations to Jewish events if he promised to burn a large Star of David.

    • Guppy

      It'd certainly shore up our country's reputation in Gaza and Tehran.

  • Baconzgood

    Racism is stupid.

  • spends2much

    Well, the Bible was written in English, so far as these geniuses know, so obviously God chose whitey to rule the world.

    Jesus' real name was Jesus-Bob, and he was born in a trailer when there was no room at the Motel 6 outside of Branson, Missouri. Yee-haw!

    • ChernobylSoup

      The Garden of Eden was in Missouri, according to the Republican nominee.

      • fatbob54

        It was an Olive Garden, and Adam-bob and Evey-Ray were thrown out for dress code violations.

        • Guppy

          Olive Garden? Sounds kinda papist.

          • TribecaMike

            It's been nothing but mixed-up confusion since the Catholic church allowed their members to become Masons.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      That explains the western-style saddle on his dinosaur. It's all starting to make sense now.

    • Tony Orlando and Dawn must have been playing in Branson, at the Andy Williams Supper Theatre. They always fill the motels.
      They put on a really good show, and the biscuits are amazing.

  • Mahousu

    Hey, the Jews have Collier over for things all the time. I mean, every time he steps into a bank, or watches TV, or goes to the movies, he's on their property, right? I'm sure he'd agree with that.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Clicking through to WECT [Cape Fear]
    will get you pics of the Rear- Ends. It ain't pretty.

    • GeneralLerong

      Hilarious. Forget the clerical collars, go for the Grizzled Trailer Trash mystique?

  • Baconzgood

    "We’re not violating any ordinances. We’re bringing the Word of God"

    I don't ever remember ever seeing the word "douche bag" in the Bible.

    • Oblios_Cap

      A lot of what Xtians preach can't be found in the Bible. Especially in hte New Testament.

    • TribecaMike

      King David was the original douchebag. And he was proud of it.

  • Baconzgood

    Soooooooooo. How do I NOT be white anymore? I'm serious, I'm turning in my whiteness.

    • MissTaken

      SorosBot and I are the whitest-white people in the world and we've decided to not breed. We are doing our part to rid the world of this white scourge.

      • SorosBot

        White people have done a good job ruining the world; it really doesn't need any more of us.

        • Baconzgood

          NOOOOOO We need more liberals.

    • MacRaith

      According to people with views similar to these clowns, all you have to do is have yourself some mixed-race kids. This inevitably leads to the destruction of the "white race".

      And I could go on for a long time about how many different ways that's ridiculous and illogical, but you probably don't need to be told.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Well, you COULD have started tanning before racist BARACK NOBAMA started putting a tax on skin cancer.

      • ChapterUndVerse

        No wonder Boehner's permanently upset with him. How could I have overlooked this?

    • Negropolis

      Well, first, you have to stop listening to Mumford & Sons, and then you have to change your diet, and then you'll be well on your way.

  • prommie

    Up here in the totally not-racist north I attended a whites-only public grammar school, which allowed me to attain the age of 11, I believe it was, before I ever saw a "black" person in actual person! It was a female, and she was way at the end of a long hallway, but there she was, an actual black! And I was shocked, because she wasn't black so much as a chocolatey brown! I had been decieved! This is totally true, too!

    • anniegetyerfun

      No lie, I grew up in a town that was 30% Hispanic and then mostly white. We had something like three black students in our high school and they were celebrities. We were all convinced of their athletic prowess (they had none) and they got high-fives just for walking down the hallway. I'm sure they cringe a little bit now thinking back on it.

      • prommie

        There were two black girls in Junior High, they were definitely celebrities.

        I also once knew a jew who tried to buy a house in Bay Head, New Jersey. The realtor told him he wouldn't be comfortable there. And refused to show him the house.

    • Redgyal

      Funny, I was born in a country that is predominantly black and grew up thinking that Yankees were weird because they did not like black people. Well, yeah.

  • YasserArraFeck

    "We haven’t got any invitations to black, Muslim events. Of course we are not invited to Jewish events and stuff”

    Duh, I wonder why?

  • In 'Bama, Freedumz has been a whites only word till them uppity tinted peoplez took it from them.

    • nounverb911

      Especially the one named 'Bama.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Freedumbz just another word
      For knocking down the Jooz.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Christianity — Justifying Whatever the Fuck You Want!

    • chicken_thief

      I was thinking that with Westboro Baptist, that Terry fucker who wanted to have Quoran burning, and this racist ass hat, I need to become a preacher and spew hate, too. I could use a break on my taxes.

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      It makes me so sad, to think of all the wasted years in that group.

  • Extemporanus

    If the Mormon church could suddenly stop being totally racist a few decades ago for tax break reasons, why can't the KKK?

    Because the KKK sucks at math, that's why.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I'm not sure the KKK had tax breaks to lose … but then again, there's a lot of crazy shit in the tax code..

    • Negropolis

      More like the KKK sucks at business. The Mormon churches' was a business decision…as are most of their theological reformations. There is only one religion more cynical and that is Scientology.

  • HarryButtle

    Seriously, what do they think the word "racist" means?

    • ChapterUndVerse

      Attentive to Nascar?

  • MissTaken

    “The mayor ordered our flyers to be taken down. When did they start religious censorship?”

    The flyers being printed in Comic Sans Serif really pissed the Mayor off.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Jesus crept

    … away

    … slowly and carefully.

    • Why does Jesus hate America?

      • sullivanst

        How long you got?

        • Well, I don't have to go back to work 'til Monday.

          • sullivanst

            You'll need the abridged version, then.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        When Jesus come to town, all the working folks around
        Believed what he did say
        But the bankers and the preachers, they nailed Him on the cross,
        And they laid Jesus Christ in his grave.

        –Woody Guthrie

  • Allmighty_Manos

    For those curious how "outraged" Alabama really is, check the comments at WFSA. Turns out the KKK is made up of white people jealous over BET.

    • SexySmurf

      Why don't white people have a cable channel that shows nothing but reruns of 227?

      • tessiee

        TV Land shows all reruns of old sitcoms, which is pretty much an all white universe…

        although they do have to avoid Andy Griffith now.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Well, sure… There aren't any whites-only TV networks or shows, amirite?

      • I saw a black guy on Friends once. Or maybe that was just Tom Selleck with his shirt off.

  • comrad_darkness

    He should have the right to portray himself as the scumbag he is.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Sounds like the Rev. Collier's church needs a little Woolworth's lunch counter action. Even Rand Paul and the KKK probably wouldn't stand up for him after that.

  • We won't get along until the whites stop stealing the negro music and the negro stops stealing the white religion!

  • Goonemeritus

    I take pride in the fact that most of these guys don’t think that I’m white.

  • guangho

    This man does understand that his White Church worships an Asian Jew, right?

    • All Jews are Asian. At least I hope so, so I can avoid being in the same category as pro-"White" lumpen.

      • TribecaMike

        Jews are not a "race," and not all Jews trace their families to Asia.

        • I know that, but I'm just tired of being white.

        • Negropolis

          You want to tell the rest of the Jews that, then?

    • Wait, they worship Connie Chung-Povich?

  • sullivanst

    "We don’t have the facilities to accommodate other people."

    In other words, we only have one water fountain and one men's room.

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    From literature I've read, and testimonies of what occurs at meetings, that the Christian conference where a bunch of fat-assed old men with canes and crutches, and pronounced beer bellies through besheeted yokels sitting in lawn chairs outside a toolshed in French Fry Funeral, Alabama, is a far fucking cry to the militant evil associated with the so-called "Christian Identity" crowd.

  • HarryButtle

    Show of hands from the congregation…who here is voting for Mitt Romney?

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      "Hey, Scientologists have a cross as a symbol, so if Tom Cruise is runnin' against that blah man, he gets my vote!"

    • tessiee

      All of them, Bubba.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    This reminds me of an episode of the 1960s tv show "Mission Impossible" where the Impossible Mission Force went to an unnamed country in Africa under white rule, kidnapped a white leader, and turned him Black.

    Yeah…why isn't George Soros funding an Impossible Mission Force…?

  • The "Christian Identity" movement is listed as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. Why do they hate America?

  • Blunderthing

    I guess they feel they are "entitled" to their racist beliefs. Damned entitlement society!

  • ColonelDoctor

    That photograph shows some fine examples of manhood. I can see why God chose them.

  • Redhead

    Well the Catholic church thought they could just worship however they wanted, no matter how many (pedophilia) laws they broke, too – and you see how that worked out for them!

    Oh wait…

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Oh, Alabama. You're so fucking stupid.

    • They don't want to stand out when compared to Mississippi, Louisiana and Texas. And Arizona. And Florida. Fuck — the stupid is metastasizing!!!

  • Naked_Bunny

    Posting a flyer is not the same as sending an invitation, you idiot.

  • They said it's not a cross-burning, but rather a sacred Christian cross lighting. As with all the other events here, it is open to all white Christians.

    Pastor, the whole point of burning crosses is to intimidate NON-white peoples, like in their own back yards and church grounds — where did you say you honed your fear and loathing chops, again? Rename it "Christian Identity-Crisis Ministries" if your idea of sowing hate is sitting around smelling your own farts — that's not racial malfeasance!!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Alabama!! COME HERE for the … the … ummm … uhhh… anyway, and STAY for the … err … uh … wait a minute, it's coming … ummmm …

  • JustPixelz

    Life expectancy is lower in the South. Unfortunately, it's still high enough to allow reproduction. Oh Darwin, why doest though forsake us?

    • tessiee

      This proves evolution is a theory, and such.

  • shortsandpants

    Where is the ACLU in regard to this terrible infringement of personal liberties? Also, will Jesse Jackson stand for it, and also?

  • Naked_Bunny

    Help! Help! I"m being censored! Also, my conference is too full to accommodate more people! At the same time somehow!

    They said it's not a cross-burning, but rather sacred Christian cross lighting.

    It's not a lynching, it's a sacred Christian necktie party!

    • tessiee

      Those are surveyor's ropes.

    • not that Radio

      Strange Fruit Harvest.

  • chascates

    Religion isn't the opium of the masses. It's the crystal meth of the masses.

  • anniegetyerfun

    "We don't have room for non-whites and plus, they're super mean to us"? OK, that's as good a reason as any to be a racist fucktoad.

  • Antispandex

    White Jesus understands. Jewish, middle eastern Jesus, is confused.

  • ghblowhard

    I'm guessing he doesn't include Catholics in his definition of "Christians"

  • The organizer of the event, Rev. William C. Collier says that his Church of God’s Chosen (Christian Identity Ministries) is not a hate group but adds that he believes “the white race is God’s chosen people.”
    Collier defends why only white Christians are invited.

    Obvious contradiction is obvious.

    Also, wikipedia:

    According to Chester L. Quarles, professor of criminal justice at the University of Mississippi, some of the Christian Identity movement's followers hold that non-Caucasian peoples have no souls, and can therefore never earn God's favor or be saved.[…]

    The Christian Identity movement first received widespread attention by mainstream media in 1984, when the white nationalist organization known as The Order embarked on a murderous crime spree before being taken down by the FBI. Tax resister and militia movement organizer Gordon Kahl, whose death in a 1983 shootout with authorities helped inspire The Order, also had connections to the Christian Identity movement.[3][4] The movement returned to public attention in 1992 and 1993, in the wake of the deadly Ruby Ridge confrontation, when newspapers discovered that former Green Beret and right-wing separatist Randy Weaver had at least a loose association with Christian Identity believers. […]

    Racialism, or race based philosophy is the core tenet of Christian Identity, and most CI adherents are White Nationalists or support racial segregation. Some believe that Jews are genetically compelled by their Satanic or Edomite ancestry to carry on a conspiracy against the Adamic seedline and today have achieved almost complete control of the Earth through their illegitimate claim to the white race's status as God's chosen people.[

    • tessiee

      "the Christian Identity movement's followers hold that non-Caucasian peoples have no souls, and can therefore never earn God's favor or be saved.[…] "

      Wait, I thought they were baptizing them after they died, and…
      Oh, wait. That's those other guys.
      My bad.

    • How many profound mental health issues must an individual have to make "MY IMAGINARY FRIEND LIKES ME BETTER THAN YOU" the focus of their existence?

      I can almost comprehend the twisted logic of "MY IMAGINARY FRIEND IS BETTER THAN YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND." But this, this is a whole order of crazy above and beyond standard Daddy issues.

  • Guppy

    I'm betting their fliers were taken down simply because they never got the permit to post on public rights-of-way/utility poles/etc.

    So it's communism as well as religious persecution!

    • Naked_Bunny

      Yeah, you can't post on utility poles where I live. I didn't see anything in the articles that even says the authorities took down the flyers, though, and it's not illegal for me to take down somebody else's flyer as long as it's not on private property.

  • "… bringing the Word of God to those who want it….

    And God said unto them, Go forth and hate them blacks and browns and them Muslins and Jews and the Gayz and them damn socialist liberul democrats and especially that BLACK man in the WHITE House. AMEN.

    • "…and may our high school football team beat some other high school football team. Even though I can see them praying to you too, from here. Amen."

  • rickmaci

    If he wants to do a whites only gig, why doesn't he just attend the Repthuglican National Convention?

  • ElPinche

    Needs moar unmanned drones armed with spermacide.

  • tessiee

    Memaw loves her nephew Mel Lewis, acourse she does, but she also wishes he would shut the hell up.

  • Tommy1733

    Actually in all seriousness I'm glad that Reverend Mel was clear on his little flyer and also that everyone in town is bitching at him. It is better to know who the enemy is, and to have them be so forthcoming about it is good for everyone.

  • ibwilliamsi

    What pisses me off is that they're tax exempt.

  • TribecaMike

    Their opinion of Unitarians is unprintable even on this site.

  • savethispatient

    We don’t have the facilities to accommodate other people

    I think you mean faculties. As in mental.

    • I was thinking separate restrooms, but you're most likely right.

  • ugodOH

    I kind of hate this story because it's like "Holy shit! A racist group is having a meeting and DOESN'T want any non-whites there?! Well knock me over with a feather!"

  • docterry6973

    I do so hope that Rev. Collier holds this event in North Philly next year. I would go to watch – from a distance.

  • ttommyunger

    "Where all the white wimmen at?"

    • TribecaMike

      Last I heard, they were quarantined in Tulsa.

  • Negropolis

    but adds that he believes “the white race is God’s chosen people.”

    Wait, I thought the Jews were "God's chosen people".

    • I thought it was anti-abortion protestors, and whichever Texas high school football team won that week.
      And it used to include firefighters, until they wanted to be paid.

  • schvitzatura

    I'm in no way shape or form involved in any niggerdom!

  • notanncoulter

    It really seems as though, for some [unnamed] people, the facility of their calendars to roll over from 2000 to 2001 has broken and sent them back to 1801.
    Was this REALLY the 2k bug we all missed out on?
    Open and blatant don't-even-pretend-to-hide-it-anymore racism, misogyny, worshiping of ignorance and anti-intellectualism… oh, and the and mouth breathing.

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