PILOT SEASON  12:10 pm July 5, 2012

Thad McCotter Interrupts Tragicomic Midlife Crisis To Conquer Hollywood With Terrible Teevee Pilot

by Jeff Wattrick

Gets all the chicksThad McCotter’s downward spiral from Congressman/vanity presidential candidate to publicly humiliated wretch of a man continues. Unable to purchase even 50 votes at the Iowa Straw Poll or collect enough (valid) petition signatures to run for re-election, McCotter has been reduced to writing a script for a faux-variety show based on Martin Mull’s 1977 “Fernwood Tonight” that’s so popular with the kids today.

Will Thad McCotter’s tv show be awful? Yes, it will be awful.

Some congressional staffers included in his 42-minute pilot episode dated Oct. 17, 2011, were the same longtime employees who handled the collection of petition signatures that botched his chances of getting on the Aug. 7 primary ballot. The character named “Wardo,” the nickname others acknowledge is used for District Director Paul Seewald, dresses in a matador costume, gets drunk on a whisky-laced Slurpee and runs off stage after puking.

“Chowsers,” the nickname for Deputy District Director Don Yowchuang, leers at women’s body parts and snaps cell phone pictures of them, goes “cougar hunting” and repeats the line “I’m Thai.”

If you’re one of the uptight white bread squares who doesn’t dig McCotter’s edgy comedic style, which includes fart jokes (of course) and S.E. Cupp getting eye fucked by the likes of “Wardo” and “Chowsers,” McCotter totally doesn’t care because he won’t sell out his vision to win a lamestream audience.

Asked who would find the humor in the script funny, McCotter said he wasn’t trying to reach a broader audience. He said the show was “deliberately designed to be a train wreck” to further assault the dignity of the central character — McCotter the host, who is already humiliated from the presidential run.

Thad McCotter is officially the saddest man ever. [Detroit News]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 82 comments }

Designer_Radio July 5, 2012 at 12:13 pm

He had me at "fart jokes".

FraAnima July 5, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Nothin' wrong with fart jokes. Stephanie Miller does wonders with them.

Baconzgood July 5, 2012 at 12:13 pm

I wish Nick At Night would still play Fernwood Tonight. That show was great.

OneDollarJuana July 5, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Was Tom Waits really drunk on that show, or was he really drunk on that show?

Baconzgood July 5, 2012 at 12:40 pm

All of 'em Katie.

Schmannnity July 5, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Needs more penis pic twittering.

poorgradstudent July 5, 2012 at 12:16 pm

…Okay, I'll say it: I think I'd be genuinely entertained.

MissTaken July 5, 2012 at 12:16 pm

dresses in a matador costume, gets drunk on a whisky-laced Slurpee and runs off stage after puking.

Is it proper etiquette to drink your whiskey-laced Slurpee while wearing a matador costume? I wish there was a feminine deportment class I could take that would clear this up.

actor212 July 5, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Proper?

Toots, I think it's required.

Schmannnity July 5, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Not recommended. Between the whiskey and the matador costume, you might fall down the stairs.

actor212 July 5, 2012 at 12:24 pm

That's the whole point behind the deportment department.

starfanglednut July 5, 2012 at 12:23 pm

As long as you can carry your whiskey-laced slurpee on your head.

WhatTheHeck July 5, 2012 at 12:33 pm

A matador costume is so, er, tight, you have to wonder where he hides his family jewels.

OneYieldRegular July 5, 2012 at 12:46 pm

My first reaction to that line was (inevitably): "Wonkette drinky thingy!"

BerkeleyBear July 5, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Don't forget your spit Slurpee cup for the other hand – don't want to stain your suit of lights with tobacco.

actor212 July 5, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Wait. Sippy Cupp gets skullfucked?

GENIUS!

Beowoof July 5, 2012 at 12:26 pm

I saw that as the show's only redeeming feature.

BarackMyWorld July 5, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Sorry…eye-fucked/skull-fucked not the same thing. I'm sad about it, too.

Schmannnity July 5, 2012 at 12:17 pm

This is potentially good news for Happy Kine and the Mirthmakers.

Doktor Zoom July 5, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Came here for the Happy Kine ref, left satisfied.

Oblios_Cap July 5, 2012 at 12:18 pm

The character named “Wardo,” the nickname others acknowledge is used for District Director Paul Seewald, dresses in a matador costume, gets drunk on a whisky-laced Slurpee and runs off stage after puking.

And who among us hasn't done that at least once?

edgydrifter July 5, 2012 at 12:21 pm

And all of this will be accompanied by Benny Hill's signature "Yakety Sax."

Designer_Radio July 5, 2012 at 12:44 pm

If he could pull off an all-farts version of Yakety Sax; Yakety Farts, then I'll have to concede genius.

mavenmaven July 5, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Yakety Sax has become a beloved Wonkette meme, I think it has been referenced here now more times than on Benny Hill! I gave you a p-point for it!

DerrickWildcat July 5, 2012 at 12:21 pm

I think a good show would be about a guy who delivers pizzas and all the fun sex he has while delivering the pizzas.

BaldarTFlagass July 5, 2012 at 12:24 pm

I delivered pizza to get through college, and that whole "fun sex" thing is highly overrated. By the time you get done having sex, the customer's pizza is cold and they want a discount or even a free pizza, and then they wouldn't tip you shit.

actor212 July 5, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Dude, you got fucked! You want a tip too????

prommie July 5, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Save it for Penthouse Forum, they love to publish totally true stories like this.

Beowoof July 5, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I think it would really devolve to Thad just watching porn with that plot all day. Although for a change up it could be the UPS driver on occasion.

mavenmaven July 5, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Hasn't everyone already?

chicken_thief July 5, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Then there is always the plumber who has to snake out the lady's pipes.

BaldarTFlagass July 5, 2012 at 12:22 pm

21st Century Renaissance Man!

FlownOver July 5, 2012 at 12:29 pm

21st Century Renaissance Schizoid Man!

FIFY.

BaldarTFlagass July 5, 2012 at 12:31 pm

King Crimson libel.

starfanglednut July 5, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Charlie Sheen libel!

Beowoof July 5, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Sounds as if this pilot was nothing more than a smelly brain fart.

spareme July 5, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Emperor Saddeus likes to drown in his own shit.

starfanglednut July 5, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Is it on before or after Life's a Tripp?

##Runs to program DVR.

BaldarTFlagass July 5, 2012 at 12:26 pm

My guess is that, in that picture, he is playing the blues.

seppdecker July 5, 2012 at 12:38 pm

It might not be the blues, but it sure makes me sad.

Blueb4sunrise July 5, 2012 at 12:47 pm
Mittens Howell, III July 5, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Awwwww … he would have made a great President.

SorosBot July 5, 2012 at 12:28 pm

"He said the show was “deliberately designed to be a train wreck” to further assault the dignity of the central character"

Dude, you can't deliberately create a so-bad-it's-good camp classic; every one of them was made by people who took themselves too seriously and thought they were making something good. We all know Tommy Wisseau is lying when he said he meant for The Room to be funny.

actor212 July 5, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Oh, I dunno…ever hear the story behind "Naked Came The Stranger"?

I'm convinced the same story applies to "Fifty Shades of The Shittiest Writing I've Ever Read"

sullivanst July 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

And yet somehow the Austin Powers movies were commercially successful.

BerkeleyBear July 5, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Gary Shandling Show libel!

viennawoods13 July 5, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Hey now!

SayItWithWookies July 5, 2012 at 12:29 pm

McCotter also casts Stephen K. Bannon, the conservative filmmaker, as the reluctant producer of "Bumper Sticker." In the show, Bannon is not amused McCotter doesn't have a second guest lined up and McCotter has to interview Bannon instead.

It's one thing to write stuff in an attempt to be funny and fail — it's an entirely different level of failure to write stuff you intend to be a failed attempt at being funny. That's like giving up before you start — which, come to think of it, is how McCotter should've handled his congressional career.

sullivanst July 5, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Wonder if it ever occurred to him that if he hadn't wasted his, and his staff's, time making deliberately awful videos, and did his fucking job instead, he might have had enough real people willing to sign petitions for him that he'd be on the ballot?

Goonemeritus July 5, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Sometimes you have to hit bottom, but not because there is any hope of climbing back up mind you.

BaldarTFlagass July 5, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Any Palins going to be featured? I'm sure Bristol will be a great comedic actress.

BarackMyWorld July 5, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Don't we pay these guys a pension so they'll just go away when their careers are over?

An_Outhouse July 5, 2012 at 12:36 pm

" McCotter the host, who is already humiliated from the presidential run"

At first I thought this was based on McCain but then I realized he would need a lot more self awareness to ever feel humiliated. Even after pointing out the five plane crashes, the Viet Cong couldn't accomplish that.

prommie July 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

5? Shit, that makes him an Ace in the North Vietnamese Air Force!

SexySmurf July 5, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Something tells me Thad might be making a guest appearance on Hardcore Pawn real soon.

sullivanst July 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Ah, but will he flash his tits at them, or just scream obscenities while being carried out?

phlox✔ July 5, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Man, you'd think that having a great Congressional health care package would ensure having one's Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosed and treated correctly.

hippie13 July 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

The drugs make the voices stop and he gets lonely.

valthemus July 5, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Thad should stick to tried and true conservative comedy fare: Pushing crippled Muslims and blind Latinos down flights of stairs. Always brings the yuks at CPAC.

Estproph July 5, 2012 at 12:41 pm

"Some congressional staffers included in his 42-minute pilot episode dated Oct. 17, 2011, were the same longtime employees who handled the collection of petition signatures that botched his chances of getting on the Aug. 7 primary ballot. The character named “Wardo,” the nickname others acknowledge is used for District Director Paul Seewald, dresses in a matador costume, gets drunk on a whisky-laced Slurpee and runs off stage after puking.

“Chowsers,” the nickname for Deputy District Director Don Yowchuang, leers at women’s body parts and snaps cell phone pictures of them, goes “cougar hunting” and repeats the line “I’m Thai.”

Agent: So what do you call your show?

McCotter: The Aristocrats!

metamarcisf July 5, 2012 at 12:41 pm

P.J. O'Rourke based the entire first half of his career on "fart jokes". And, by the way, Clapton really did play better on drugs.

seppdecker July 5, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Is it my biased imagination, or are Republicans obsessed with becoming B-list actors? Thad, the entire Palin clan, Chris Christie, Tom DeLay, Ronald Reagan..

mavenmaven July 5, 2012 at 12:47 pm

They say every dentist in LA has "a script they'd like to show you", so I guess it extends to political types as well.

PubOption July 5, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I can't wait to ridicule Orly Taitz' script.

OneYieldRegular July 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

The only way this could get worse is if Elliot Spitzer appears in it.

neiltheblaze July 5, 2012 at 12:49 pm

That's one ugly git-fiddle he's got there.

TribecaMike July 5, 2012 at 12:49 pm

His early stuff was pretty good, until he totally sold out to The Man… http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1OT2CJ77mkg/T_VQOtCpJXI

weejee July 5, 2012 at 12:50 pm

When it comes to blues, it sounds like McCotter never got past the turnaround.

MumbletyRadio July 5, 2012 at 12:52 pm

From the article:

McCotter said forming the company [Screaming Lemur Productions] was necessary so he could register a piece he had done for Andrew Breitbart.

Explains Thad's predilection for self-abuse. Then he reveals the show's underpinning idea:

inspired by the idea of what would happen if a political candidate said whatever he wanted

Agreed: take away the puppet strings and imagine the results! Except imagination is dead in Hollywood, without a doubt, if they're actually seriously buying into this as a viable mode of entertainment.

hippie13 July 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Didn't Warren Beatty do that 20 years ago?

hippie13 July 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Is this new or is this just a new episode of FOX and Friends? Vomit and matador costumes sound like that tall douchy guy.

didgen July 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

OK, now I can see that the grandspawn are right on track. Being five and three is the perfect age to celebrate penis, belching and fart jokes. They are geniuses!

Extemporanus July 5, 2012 at 1:14 pm

I still can't believe that I'm related to this fucking douchehole..

Well, aside from the whole sad, sex-obssessed, guitar playing, train wreck aspect…

guangho July 5, 2012 at 1:16 pm

"Chowsers," the nickname for Deputy District Director Don Yowchuang, leers at women's body parts and snaps cell phone pictures of them, goes "cougar hunting" and repeats the line "I'm Thai."

So an average day for a waiter at an Italian restaurant in NYC?

hippie13 July 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I was born a rich white boy
silver spoon down my throat

Ba duh duh Da duh

Out on the water in daddy's boat
Don't fuck with me, I went to Choat

Ba duh duh Da duh

Got a new car at 16
a freshman gf and livin the dream

Ba duh duh Da duh

All those occupiers makin a scene
Damn its good to be rich white and teen

Ba duh duh Da duh

Thank god dad don't pay taxes
regardless of what the facts is

Ba duh duh Da duh

In a battle of classes
We trickle down on the masses

PubOption July 5, 2012 at 2:13 pm

You're not welcome back, McCotter.

Biff July 5, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Today, we are all Wardo.

TribecaMike July 5, 2012 at 6:18 pm

One of his characters runs off stage after puking? Shows how much he knows about rock & roll.

ttommyunger July 5, 2012 at 9:11 pm

"Thad McCotter is officially the saddest man ever." Man? Nigga pleeze!

Negropolis July 6, 2012 at 3:11 am

I really hope the reindeer farmer wins the Republican nomination in this district. Oh god, pleeze.

alteredimages July 6, 2012 at 3:37 am

I thought it was "Fernwood 2Night". Also why is it not on Netflix or DVD, because it ws fuckin' funny.

actor212 July 6, 2012 at 8:02 pm

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