diebold strikes again

Saddest Lady In World Presses Wrong Button, Legalizes Fracking In North Carolina

burn baby burnAre you having a bad day? Well, unless you “accidentally” shot a hobo through the eye, your day is not as bad as that of North Carolina state Rep. Becky Carney, Democrat of Mecklenburg, who lobbied all her colleagues to kill the environmental catastrophe that is fracking, but then was the accidental deciding vote legalizing fracking in the state. Oh man. Remember the poor Palm Beach Jews who voted for Pat Buchanan and elected George W. Bush? This is like that but with earthquakes and water burning like it’s the Cuyahoga River.

Carney pointed out that she has voted against fracking in the past, and said she spent the day lobbying other Democrats to uphold the veto of Senate Bill 820.

“And then I push the green button,” she said.

Just after the vote, Carney’s voice could be heard on her microphone, saying “Oh my gosh. I pushed green.”

But did Carney immediately try to fix her mistake? Well of course she did, she’s not an idiot.

Carney said she turned her light on, but Speaker Thom Tillis would not recognize her, so she went to the front to speak to him.

“I made a mistake, and I tried to get recognized to change it, as people have been doing all night on other bills, and it was too late,” Carney said. “Because it would have changed the outcome of the vote.”

Fracking Diebold strikes again.

“I feel rotten, and I feel tired,” Carney said. “And I feel that mistakes are made constantly when people are tired. And I feel rotten about it, but I take responsibility for my vote.”

As soon as the vote was cast, House Minority Leader Paul Stam used a procedural move called a “clincher” to ensure the veto override could not be reconsidered.

What was that we always hear about mean old Harry Reid not allowing Republicans to add amendments to things (like Life Begins at Conception amendments to bills about flood insurance) because he hates the minority so much and is such an anti-democratic tyrant? Yes, that is worse than this times Hitler, we guess.

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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        1. Texan_Bulldog

          A few rightie FB friends have posted on his death. They don't know that Andy was a card carrying Democrat all his life and he made an ad with Ron Howard for Barack Hussein Obama in 2008. I wonder how quick their posts would disappear if they knew that.

          1. Barb

            No, none of us are making fun of Andy. He is a much loved man.
            Pop quiz, Soros.
            What was the name of the tune that was whistled on the Andy Griffith show?

          2. SorosBot

            I know; it's a quote from Arrested Development, from the narrator – played by Ron Howard.

            And I have no idea what the tune was; I could google it but then that would be cheating.

          3. MittBorg

            Were you in Married With Children? I hope that's not too pryful, I'm genuinely curious, but I will also admit to being a dreadful nosey parker. Feel free to tell me to fuck off, if you want.

          4. Goonemeritus

            I agree he couldn’t have been a classier guy, I really did watch Matlock but mostly because I grew up with the Andy Griffith show.

  1. actor212

    Really? There are procedural rules where speed is more important than accuracy?

    North Carolina…you're giving your sister to the South a run for the stoopid money.

    1. bobbert

      Shit, the SCOTUS says there are procedural rules where death is more important than justice. This is piker shit.

    1. stncmchnc

      This is what happens Larry! This is what happens when you frack North Carolinians in the Appalacians.

  2. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    So green means cash money and red means your a commie and don't want to sell the countries natural resources to the highest bidder. Makes perfect sense to me.

    1. emmelemm

      It's like this one time, when one of the judges on Dancing With The Stars held up the wrong paddle, …

      YES I WATCH DWTS. My mother makes me.

      1. MittBorg

        It might be time to have The Talk with Mom.

        You know, the one where you tell them watching DWTS is one of the symptoms of early Alzheimer's or something.

        1. emmelemm

          My mom used to be a ballroom dancer. Not professional, but a serious amateur.

          I can't talk her out of it. :)

          1. MittBorg

            I think you said that once before, and because I have age-related brain-rot, I forgot. Well, you lucky, lucky person. Enjoy DWTS with your sweet wonderful Mom and give her an extra hug for me.

  3. Goonemeritus

    Well even with flaming well water North Carolina can still take comfort in the fact that at least they aren’t Mississippi.

    1. MittBorg

      I know you heard Mississippi legislators bragging about how they were going to shut down the only abortion facility in that state, with the words (I paraphrase) "I'm told that some pitiful poor women won't be able to afford to go out of state and will do it at home with a coathanger, and could die as a result. But you have to have moral values."

      What kind of "moral values" involve killing a woman who might be a mother and is almost certainly a daughter, sister, wife, lover, friend, colleague, and neighbour to your constituents? Or do Miss legislators only represent the rich?

  4. SorosBot

    "Yes, that is worse than this times Hitler, we guess"

    No, these were Republicans abusing procedural rules to steal a vote; that's perfectly OK, just as a few Democratic filibusters were the worst subversion of democracy ever, but the GOP filibustering every single Senate vote is just a routine move that requires every bill to get a 60-vote supermajority and perfectly normal.

  5. EatsBabyDingos

    Anyone with an "H" in "Tom" is pretentious and should be sentanced to life in North Carolina.

  6. SheriffRoscoe

    Read the Constitution. You get one shot at the green button. Yes they had green buttons in 1776.

  7. FakaktaSouth

    Oh fuck this procedural bullshit in the ear. Are we in kindergarten? OH OH ! You touched it ! you touched it ! NO TAKE BACKS — Had she launched a missile I could see how this was irretrievable – but for fucks sake, it was a vote. Whatever. I'm totally drinking now, it's the fourth of July eve, a holiday for rednecks, and I am blowing some shit up. Patriotism my hot ass.

    1. SheriffRoscoe

      We have to do everything possible to try to determine what the voter's intent was. In this case the voter could be asked directly, but time was up, too fucking bad.

    2. SheriffRoscoe

      We have to do everything possible to determine what the voter's intent was. In this case the voter could be asked directly, but time was up, so too fucking bad.

    3. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Careful. There was a story in the Seattle times this morning about a dumb hick around here who blew up $80,000 of his community's fireworks display by accident while trying out his new rifle.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        I gotta admit, that sounds fucking awesome. Shootin up 80K of chinese wowzer lights and dynamite? Fuckin a baby, that's goin in the porno.

        1. Doktor Zoom

          I try not to be a proofreading Nazi, but this really is one of those times when you want to double-check the capitalization and punctuation, because "fuckin-A, baby" and "fuckin a baby" are rather different.

          1. Fairtackle

            I just a assumed it was a great new expression. I was going to start using it. dang

          2. BigSkullF*ckingDog

            The phrase is extra awful when followed by "that's goin in the porno"

        2. Fairtackle

          When it was over, only a smoking crater and the charred hulk of the container — which was propelled about 20 feet — marked the spot where everybody's Fourth of July plans used to be.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        Wouldn't you rather have sex and money and fun? Gotta pick just one or the other, ya know.

    4. MittBorg

      Judging from your av, it is ONE HOT ASS, girl.

      Yeah, this stuff has me seriously pie-eyed right now. This, Joe Walsh mocking Tammy Duckworth, those fucking dirtbags in Mississippi mocking all the "poor pitiful women" who can't afford to travel outside the state for an abortion and will shove a coathanger up their cunts, killing themselves in the process, by saying "We have to have moral values." Yup. Started drinkin' right away and I am gonna be dead on my ass drunk in about two hours, I figure.

  8. fartknocker

    Apparently North Carolina legislators are not very tech-savvy. Maybe they need a system with a 3rd button marked "Are You Sure You Want To Do That?"

  9. GorzoTheMighty

    Demorats, does the incompetency ever quit. They are hopeless beyond redemption

    1. Fairtackle

      "It looks like you are trying to legalize fracking, would you like some help with that?"

  10. Fairtackle

    Well they don't call it North Carolina for nothing. Whatever that means. My head hurts.

    1. scvirginia

      North Carolina for nothing? The very idea. Nyah- you've got to pay to play there, just like anywhere else. Looks like the fracking would take place in Lee Co., just south of the Triangle area. I wouldn't be surprised if NIMBY-ism were to defeat this thing before it gets underway.

    2. Negropolis

      True. North Carolina was the second Carolina to declare war against the United States.

  11. Jus_Wonderin

    It might be best to keep this woman away from the red phone and the launch code buttons.

  12. Awful People

    It's North Carolina. Accidental fracking just joins the list of sister-fracking, cousin-fracking, and of course, uncle-fracking.

  13. widestanceromance

    So, does the governor sign bills with an upper case 'X' or a lower case 'x' to indicate agreement?

  14. JustPixelz

    Can we blame it on anti-seizure medication?

    Green, red. What's the difference, officer?

    "Oh my gosh. I pushed green." Considering the courtesy her colleagues then displayed, she probably should have just said "Jesus Fucking Christ! I pushed the wrong motherfucking button. Now I've got to get that cocksucker Thom Tillis to get off his knees long enough to fucking do his fucking job and fucking recognize me."

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      That rant is the perfect test text for the new synth voice I am trying to create. Thanks!

  15. coolhandnuke

    I might be mistaken, but her mistake could be ascribed to the small minority of North Cackalackeys who are indeed color blind.

    1. MittBorg

      I certainly hope so. She's pretty much destroyed her career, poor woman.

      Although, from having lived with a colorblind person for six years, I know that they tend to figure out colours from position, i.e., the top light of a stop sign is GO and the bottom light is STOP. If she were colourblind, she should have had an aide do the button-pushing, or memorized the location of the Yes and No buttons.

  16. Estproph

    I can't believe she didn't hold onto the button until she was totally sure, just like in checkers.

    1. Extemporanus

      I hope that *fracckkk!* you have *fracckkk!* better luck *fracckkk!* with that *fracckkk!* than I am. *fracckkk!* *fracckkk!* *FRAACCKKK!!*


  17. Jus_Wonderin

    My Aunt Birdie used to press the wrong buttons…often. However, Uncle Gooch generally backhanded her and she toed the line.

    Then Uncle Gooch, unexpectedly took his life.

    We have always wondered: Who the fuck kills themselves with rat posion. Seems like it would take forever. But, oh well….

  18. UW8316154

    Ren: Now listen, Cadet. I've got a job for you. See this button?
    [Stimpy reaches for the button; Ren slaps his hand away]

    Ren: Don't touch it! It's the History Eraser button, you fool!

    Stimpy: So what'll happen?

    Ren: That's just it. We don't know. Maybe something bad, maybe something good. I guess we'll never know, 'cause you're going to guard it. You won't touch it, will you?

    Narrator: How can he possibly resist the maddening urge to erradicate history at the mere push of a single button? The beautiful, shiny button? The jolly, candy-like button? Will he hold out, folks? Can he hold out?

    1. bobbert

      Terry Pratchett is only one of many folks who have observed that is there were a secret cave somewhere, with a red button and a sign that said "END OF WORLD BUTTON. DO NOT PRESS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES OR THE WORLD WILL END", the sign-writer would be trampled to death before finishing the sign.

  19. orygoon

    God, I know how the poor lady feels. That's sort of my life for the past some-fracking-number of year.

  20. Exhausted66

    Well, now that Planned Parenthood has been defunded in NC, if you need an abortion you can just drink tap water.

  21. MissTaken

    There is truly nothing sadder than pressing the wrong button. And if you are wondering where exactly the *right* button is, it's about 2 inches above where you think it is.

    Am I right, ladies, or am I right?

    1. SorosBot

      Hey, some of us know where the right button is! It's on mens' shirts; the ones on womens' are on the left.

      That's what you were talking about, right?

  22. CrunchyKnee

    Then she went home and accidentally rolled around in all sorts of filthy oil company monies.

  23. kissawookiee

    The last time I tried to slip the "Clincher" past an unsuspecting audience, I got slapped with a restraining order.

  24. Heroically_Joe

    Remember the poor Palm Beach Jews who voted for Pat Buchanan and elected George W. Bush? This is like that but with earthquakes and water burning like it’s the Cuyahoga River.

    Right, but how is it different?

  25. arduinohacker

    Fabulous choice of colors, SC. The most common form of color-blindness is red-green.

    Although it's also a potential boost for female legislators, males are 12 times more likely to have it.

    1. scvirginia

      And in what state can you not tell the difference between SC & NC? I know, I know… All of the other ones, Katie…

    2. MittBorg

      Most people don't realize that females can also suffer from colourblindness. And, red-green colourblindness being the commonest type, most women who are colourblind are red-green colourblind.

  26. UnholyMoses

    There is a word that would perfectly describe someone this stupid — someone with some sort of mental condition that makes them just a tad slower than most everyone else.

    I just can't think of what that word is … begins with an "r" I believe …

    **strokes chin thoughtfully**

    1. bobbert

      Well, normally it would be Republican, but this lady is allegedly a Democrat, so I dunno.

      Oh wait, an NC Democrat.

      1. not that Radio


  27. Chet Kincaid

    Later, at the Annual North Carolina State House Volleyball Challenge, Republicans scored the winning point on a technicality. Though the ball had been hit out of bounds, the GOP insisted Ms. Carney "went for it."

  28. Negropolis

    This is ALL that we pay them to do, and they can't even push a button right. We should outsource legislation to the local zoo. Koko the Gorilla would have more legislative stamina.

    The energy execs are laughing their asses off. Even in their most nefarious plots could they have not dreamed up such a scenario.

  29. Negropolis

    Well, unless you “accidentally” shot a hobo through the eye…

    You realize that this would rank among the best/most positively memorable days of a conservative's life, right?

  30. Negropolis

    I guess she forgot the safe word.

    We should so totally make "Oh my gosh. I pushed green" a thing here at these Wonkettes when we really fuck something up. Hell, I'm going to say it in my everyday life, now.

  31. not that Radio

    She was not allowed to correct her mistake, "because it would have changed the outcome of the vote."

    Isn't the entire purpose of voting to "change the outcome of the vote"? Am I missing something here?

    1. MittBorg

      Yes. You are missing that it was done by a DemonRat to Republicans, and therefore it was OK that they did it. It's not OK for her to whine about it. LOSER, duh.

  32. not that Radio

    I was considering applying for a job in NC. Should I not do that? Am I making a big mistake?

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