Are you having a bad day? Well, unless you “accidentally” shot a hobo through the eye, your day is not as bad as that of North Carolina state Rep. Becky Carney, Democrat of Mecklenburg, who lobbied all her colleagues to kill the environmental catastrophe that is fracking, but then was the accidental deciding vote legalizing fracking in the state. Oh man. Remember the poor Palm Beach Jews who voted for Pat Buchanan and elected George W. Bush? This is like that but with earthquakes and water burning like it’s the Cuyahoga River.
Carney pointed out that she has voted against fracking in the past, and said she spent the day lobbying other Democrats to uphold the veto of Senate Bill 820.
“And then I push the green button,” she said.
Just after the vote, Carney’s voice could be heard on her microphone, saying “Oh my gosh. I pushed green.”
But did Carney immediately try to fix her mistake? Well of course she did, she’s not an idiot.
Carney said she turned her light on, but Speaker Thom Tillis would not recognize her, so she went to the front to speak to him.
“I made a mistake, and I tried to get recognized to change it, as people have been doing all night on other bills, and it was too late,” Carney said. “Because it would have changed the outcome of the vote.”
Fracking Diebold strikes again.
“I feel rotten, and I feel tired,” Carney said. “And I feel that mistakes are made constantly when people are tired. And I feel rotten about it, but I take responsibility for my vote.”
As soon as the vote was cast, House Minority Leader Paul Stam used a procedural move called a “clincher” to ensure the veto override could not be reconsidered.
What was that we always hear about mean old Harry Reid not allowing Republicans to add amendments to things (like Life Begins at Conception amendments to bills about flood insurance) because he hates the minority so much and is such an anti-democratic tyrant? Yes, that is worse than this times Hitler, we guess.
[WRAL]
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Then she left to go to Happy Hour, drank too much and blew a Chad.
Maybe she should be forced to blow the fine actor Red Buttons.
At least it wasn't dangling for long.
Just stick her in Sheriff Andy's jail in Mayberry and throw away the key.
Awww, rest in peace Andy Griffith.
Well I guess I will have to end my write in campaign to bring back Matlock.
A few rightie FB friends have posted on his death. They don't know that Andy was a card carrying Democrat all his life and he made an ad with Ron Howard for Barack Hussein Obama in 2008. I wonder how quick their posts would disappear if they knew that.
And lobbied for passage of the ACA, with tv ads. I shall miss Andy.
He also starred in a movie that could have been a cautionary tale about the likes of Glenn Beck.
Clearly, it was his medication.
No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough
No, none of us are making fun of Andy. He is a much loved man.
Pop quiz, Soros.
What was the name of the tune that was whistled on the Andy Griffith show?
I agree he couldn’t have been a classier guy, I really did watch Matlock but mostly because I grew up with the Andy Griffith show.
Ahem. Too soon!
Really? There are procedural rules where speed is more important than accuracy?
North Carolina…you're giving your sister to the South a run for the stoopid money.
Shit, the SCOTUS says there are procedural rules where death is more important than justice. This is piker shit.
This is what happens when you press the wrong motherfracking button.
This is what happens Larry! This is what happens when you frack North Carolinians in the Appalacians.
For some reason, this sounds like it should be the line from some sitcom involving two gay guys.
So green means cash money and red means your a commie and don't want to sell the countries natural resources to the highest bidder. Makes perfect sense to me.
I honestly don't get how she even made the mistake. She's worse than 9/11.
It's like this one time, when one of the judges on Dancing With The Stars held up the wrong paddle, …
YES I WATCH DWTS. My mother makes me.
It might be time to have The Talk with Mom.
You know, the one where you tell them watching DWTS is one of the symptoms of early Alzheimer's or something.
My mom used to be a ballroom dancer. Not professional, but a serious amateur.
I can't talk her out of it. :)
She sounds like she might be a nice Mom/human. Eh, WTH, make her happy, it's not that big a deal.
I wonder if Andy Griffith passes away out of embarrassment over what the North Carolina republicans are doing this year.
Well even with flaming well water North Carolina can still take comfort in the fact that at least they aren’t Mississippi.
The state should accidently change its name to North Mississippi.
I know you heard Mississippi legislators bragging about how they were going to shut down the only abortion facility in that state, with the words (I paraphrase) "I'm told that some pitiful poor women won't be able to afford to go out of state and will do it at home with a coathanger, and could die as a result. But you have to have moral values."
What kind of "moral values" involve killing a woman who might be a mother and is almost certainly a daughter, sister, wife, lover, friend, colleague, and neighbour to your constituents? Or do Miss legislators only represent the rich?
"Yes, that is worse than this times Hitler, we guess"
No, these were Republicans abusing procedural rules to steal a vote; that's perfectly OK, just as a few Democratic filibusters were the worst subversion of democracy ever, but the GOP filibustering every single Senate vote is just a routine move that requires every bill to get a 60-vote supermajority and perfectly normal.
Anyone with an "H" in "Tom" is pretentious and should be sentanced to life in North Carolina.
Read the Constitution. You get one shot at the green button. Yes they had green buttons in 1776.
Oh fuck this procedural bullshit in the ear. Are we in kindergarten? OH OH ! You touched it ! you touched it ! NO TAKE BACKS — Had she launched a missile I could see how this was irretrievable – but for fucks sake, it was a vote. Whatever. I'm totally drinking now, it's the fourth of July eve, a holiday for rednecks, and I am blowing some shit up. Patriotism my hot ass.
We have to do everything possible to try to determine what the voter's intent was. In this case the voter could be asked directly, but time was up, too fucking bad.
We have to do everything possible to determine what the voter's intent was. In this case the voter could be asked directly, but time was up, so too fucking bad.
Careful. There was a story in the Seattle times this morning about a dumb hick around here who blew up $80,000 of his community's fireworks display by accident while trying out his new rifle.
I gotta admit, that sounds fucking awesome. Shootin up 80K of chinese wowzer lights and dynamite? Fuckin a baby, that's goin in the porno.
That can be part of the climax! Of the movie, that is. Ahem.
Would give me one, heh.
I try not to be a proofreading Nazi, but this really is one of those times when you want to double-check the capitalization and punctuation, because "fuckin-A, baby" and "fuckin a baby" are rather different.
I just a assumed it was a great new expression. I was going to start using it. dang
I… saw what she did there. Or did I?
Yes, I was confused.
When it was over, only a smoking crater and the charred hulk of the container — which was propelled about 20 feet — marked the spot where everybody's Fourth of July plans used to be.
Shoulda done it in Wisconsin, the summer heat is making cars BOUNCE off the hot melting roads.
So, when does this hit the stands? Just asking for a, you know, friend.
Technically, that was in Kitsap. Everyone in Kitsap is a dumb hick.
Prima facie evidence: living in a town with a shitkicker name like Kitsap.
Marry me.
Wouldn't you rather have sex and money and fun? Gotta pick just one or the other, ya know.
Yeah, what was I thinking?
Couldn't we treat this like the Luanne plate at Luby's?
Better that than the Lutine Bell at Lloyd's.
Judging from your av, it is ONE HOT ASS, girl.
Yeah, this stuff has me seriously pie-eyed right now. This, Joe Walsh mocking Tammy Duckworth, those fucking dirtbags in Mississippi mocking all the "poor pitiful women" who can't afford to travel outside the state for an abortion and will shove a coathanger up their cunts, killing themselves in the process, by saying "We have to have moral values." Yup. Started drinkin' right away and I am gonna be dead on my ass drunk in about two hours, I figure.
Shut the Frack Up!
Today we are all green buttons.
Today, we are all Red Buttons.
Today, we are all fracked
Don't make me get my Borscht belt, young man…
Bible Belt libel!
Or Red Green.
Duct tape rulez!
Apparently North Carolina legislators are not very tech-savvy. Maybe they need a system with a 3rd button marked "Are You Sure You Want To Do That?"
And then a BSOD if the vote is wrong.
Demorats, does the incompetency ever quit. They are hopeless beyond redemption
"It looks like you are trying to legalize fracking, would you like some help with that?"
NO, NO, NO CLIPPY EVER AGAIN!! CLIPPY MUST DIE-IE-IE-IE-IEEEE!!
Worse than seven Hitlers. She should be forced to move to South Carolina.
Sounds like she'd fit right in in FL.
No, no, you know what it is already like here!!
Sounds like an "Almost Live" sketch. It's a county btw.
You know who else was worse than seven Hitlers?
My Mom?
YOUR Mom? (I hear she planted a foot on your Dad's chest after knocking him flat on his ass.)
Well they don't call it North Carolina for nothing. Whatever that means. My head hurts.
North Carolina for nothing? The very idea. Nyah- you've got to pay to play there, just like anywhere else. Looks like the fracking would take place in Lee Co., just south of the Triangle area. I wouldn't be surprised if NIMBY-ism were to defeat this thing before it gets underway.
Let us pray.
True. North Carolina was the second Carolina to declare war against the United States.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Democracy simply doesn't work!
It might be best to keep this woman away from the red phone and the launch code buttons.
It's North Carolina. Accidental fracking just joins the list of sister-fracking, cousin-fracking, and of course, uncle-fracking.
Shut your fracking face, uncle fracker….
You're AWFUL … oh, wait. Never mind.
Evil will always triumph over good, because good is dumb. ~Dark Helmet
ZOMG, LERVE your new av. Has flamingpdog seen it?
"GREEN BUTTONS! GREEN BUTTONS!"
Your safe word means nothing here.
(strokes flogger meaningfully)
So, does the governor sign bills with an upper case 'X' or a lower case 'x' to indicate agreement?
As long as she isn't voting for Count Iblis, Feldergarb or the "Starbuck has a Penis" Amendment.
Can we blame it on anti-seizure medication?
Green, red. What's the difference, officer?
"Oh my gosh. I pushed green." Considering the courtesy her colleagues then displayed, she probably should have just said "Jesus Fucking Christ! I pushed the wrong motherfucking button. Now I've got to get that cocksucker Thom Tillis to get off his knees long enough to fucking do his fucking job and fucking recognize me."
That rant is the perfect test text for the new synth voice I am trying to create. Thanks!
Is that to replace Siri with Surly?
Yes, I plan to run it on my iMadd.
Does that come with the special Trollface punchscreen?
An imadd is what you need to comment on this site with an iPad.
As long as she doesn't say, "vagina."
The proud tradition of the Democratic Party shooting itself in the foot continues.
Color-blindness is no laughing matter, but clumsiness is.
Green button, eh? Wait, isn't green the color of Islam? Where is Glenn Beck and his wipe board when we need him!!!
I might be mistaken, but her mistake could be ascribed to the small minority of North Cackalackeys who are indeed color blind.
I certainly hope so. She's pretty much destroyed her career, poor woman.
Although, from having lived with a colorblind person for six years, I know that they tend to figure out colours from position, i.e., the top light of a stop sign is GO and the bottom light is STOP. If she were colourblind, she should have had an aide do the button-pushing, or memorized the location of the Yes and No buttons.
and you guys want weed legalized …
Fucking stupid.
FUBAR. Fracked up beyond any retraction.
I can't believe she didn't hold onto the button until she was totally sure, just like in checkers.
Erin Burnett would never make a rookie mistake like that.
GREEN BUTTONS!!!!!
I hope that *fracckkk!* you have *fracckkk!* better luck *fracckkk!* with that *fracckkk!* than I am. *fracckkk!* *fracckkk!* *FRAACCKKK!!*
Owww…
My Aunt Birdie used to press the wrong buttons…often. However, Uncle Gooch generally backhanded her and she toed the line.
Then Uncle Gooch, unexpectedly took his life.
We have always wondered: Who the fuck kills themselves with rat posion. Seems like it would take forever. But, oh well….
Poor Aunt Birdie. You don't suppose … nah, she would never do that, would she?
Ren: Now listen, Cadet. I've got a job for you. See this button?
[Stimpy reaches for the button; Ren slaps his hand away]
Ren: Don't touch it! It's the History Eraser button, you fool!
Stimpy: So what'll happen?
Ren: That's just it. We don't know. Maybe something bad, maybe something good. I guess we'll never know, 'cause you're going to guard it. You won't touch it, will you?
Narrator: How can he possibly resist the maddening urge to erradicate history at the mere push of a single button? The beautiful, shiny button? The jolly, candy-like button? Will he hold out, folks? Can he hold out?
Terry Pratchett is only one of many folks who have observed that is there were a secret cave somewhere, with a red button and a sign that said "END OF WORLD BUTTON. DO NOT PRESS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES OR THE WORLD WILL END", the sign-writer would be trampled to death before finishing the sign.
Heh. That was easy.
FrackNation, here we come!
One nation, under a frack.
Hmm, lacks something.
God, I know how the poor lady feels. That's sort of my life for the past some-fracking-number of year.
(Hugs orygoon) My sympathies. I think I had a decade like that, once.
Well, now that Planned Parenthood has been defunded in NC, if you need an abortion you can just drink tap water.
Well, you MIGHT be able to drink it once the flames die down …
There is truly nothing sadder than pressing the wrong button. And if you are wondering where exactly the *right* button is, it's about 2 inches above where you think it is.
Am I right, ladies, or am I right?
Above?! Well that explains a lot.
So it's not the "mute" button, but the "power off" one?
Hey, some of us know where the right button is! It's on mens' shirts; the ones on womens' are on the left.
That's what you were talking about, right?
Wait.
You ladies have buttons?!
I'm not a lady, but be right back…
(whistles) Jus' Leave The Ol' Porch Light On, Baby
Then she went home and accidentally rolled around in all sorts of filthy oil company monies.
The last time I tried to slip the "Clincher" past an unsuspecting audience, I got slapped with a restraining order.
Right, but how is it different?
Fewer Jews
I would expect no less from a Buchanan administration.
Very well played.
Fabulous choice of colors, SC. The most common form of color-blindness is red-green.
Although it's also a potential boost for female legislators, males are 12 times more likely to have it.
And in what state can you not tell the difference between SC & NC? I know, I know… All of the other ones, Katie…
Most people don't realize that females can also suffer from colourblindness. And, red-green colourblindness being the commonest type, most women who are colourblind are red-green colourblind.
There is a word that would perfectly describe someone this stupid — someone with some sort of mental condition that makes them just a tad slower than most everyone else.
I just can't think of what that word is … begins with an "r" I believe …
**strokes chin thoughtfully**
Reagan?
Well, normally it would be Republican, but this lady is allegedly a Democrat, so I dunno.
Oh wait, an NC Democrat.
IF THIS PERSON WAS A DEMOCRAT OWNKETT WOULD NOT HAVE WRITTEN THIS ARTICLE!!1
AND NO ONE WOULD HAVE LOST ANY.
Worthly Wokette skum.
Dear shit fer brains…
Republican?
Fucking voting buttons — how do they work?
Oh Man… I'm color blind…green..red…NO..blue….yellow…. darn
Hillary voted for the war in Iraq, accidentally too!!!
Wyminz!!!?!!
Later, at the Annual North Carolina State House Volleyball Challenge, Republicans scored the winning point on a technicality. Though the ball had been hit out of bounds, the GOP insisted Ms. Carney "went for it."
"Come-a-runnin', Gus!! Fetch two buckets o' fire to throw on the water!!"
This story makes me angry.
This is ALL that we pay them to do, and they can't even push a button right. We should outsource legislation to the local zoo. Koko the Gorilla would have more legislative stamina.
The energy execs are laughing their asses off. Even in their most nefarious plots could they have not dreamed up such a scenario.
You realize that this would rank among the best/most positively memorable days of a conservative's life, right?
I guess she forgot the safe word.
We should so totally make "Oh my gosh. I pushed green" a thing here at these Wonkettes when we really fuck something up. Hell, I'm going to say it in my everyday life, now.
She was not allowed to correct her mistake, "because it would have changed the outcome of the vote."
Isn't the entire purpose of voting to "change the outcome of the vote"? Am I missing something here?
Yes. You are missing that it was done by a DemonRat to Republicans, and therefore it was OK that they did it. It's not OK for her to whine about it. LOSER, duh.
Forget it Jake, it's Koch Town.
I was considering applying for a job in NC. Should I not do that? Am I making a big mistake?
Accident? Not buying it. Nobody, no even a politician is that fucking stupid.
I know; it's a quote from Arrested Development, from the narrator – played by Ron Howard.
And I have no idea what the tune was; I could google it but then that would be cheating.
The Fishin' Hole.
I only know that because of when Married With Children used it and had to credit
Thanks for being honest.
Maybe someone else knows.
Love that movie!! He's the anti-sheriff.
The phrase is extra awful when followed by "that's goin in the porno"
Oops!
Me too. Doc Zoom's just a GRAMMA NAZI!!
Were you in Married With Children? I hope that's not too pryful, I'm genuinely curious, but I will also admit to being a dreadful nosey parker. Feel free to tell me to fuck off, if you want.
She is the best MomHuman I could wish for.
I think you said that once before, and because I have age-related brain-rot, I forgot. Well, you lucky, lucky person. Enjoy DWTS with your sweet wonderful Mom and give her an extra hug for me.
Becky Carney.
The Rat.
I love when you talk dirty to me.
The Frax.
Hey, there, owls, how have you been?
The NOx.
The BTEX.
The alky.
(Annnd…I'm outta gas.)
The Ex. Loud enough to say "no".
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