oh boy

Anderson Cooper Admits He Is Attracted to Men, Not The Other People

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Rick Santorum was rightCNN hurricane guy Anderson Cooper, whom a full 100% of the American population has witnessed making out with dudes at one point or another, has an announcement! “The fact is, I’m gay, always have been, always will be, and I couldn’t be any more happy, comfortable with myself, and proud.” Being rich is nice, too. [Andrew Sullivan]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Comments

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  • nounverb911

    His mother probably got tired of sharing her jeans with him.

    • ChernobylSoup

      "It's a shame to call them genes."

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      She was a size queen?

  • nounverb911

    Diane Arbus would be proud of him.

  • glamourdammerung

    I am having a very hard time pretending to be surprised.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    The shrieks you heard were from Tom Cruise and Lindsey Graham, from the "Who are we kidding? Closet."

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    The shrieks you heard were from Tom Cruise and Lindsey Graham, deep from the "Who are we kidding?" Closet.

    Good for Anderson though.

  • mrpuma2u

    Uhm hello??? The impeccable wardrobe? The almost always perfect hair? If your gaydar doesn't register a giant blip on the screen, then it's broken.

    • wondering where i am

      How about the tight black tee shirts hugging the six-pack abs? Well, it is official, at last. It is official that it is a slow news day.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I like Anderson. I feel he is genuine.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      I like Anderson because he is purttty. Seriously, he's a really nice looking man.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Does he have to resign or is it the 21st century yet?

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    ugh, I just spent the morning at the church of my childhood and I am totally de-snarked.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Quick, turn to page 243 in your Snarknyll. Sing with us.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        o/~ All things blight and bruteable…

      • Geminisunmars

        "Gladly the Cross-eyed Bear" is a good selection.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          I prefer "Onward, Crustean Soldiers"….

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          A Ray Bradbury story that I can't quite fish the title of out of the old brain database. Which is it?

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            "The Town Where No One Got Off"?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Is that it?

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Beats me. That's the only short story title that sticks out in my head.

            Go on, make the most of that…

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Oh, please. Even I shouldn't have to toy with such low-hanging fruit.

          • sullivanst

            Well, it presumably wasn't "Let's All Kill Constance".

            Any of these?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Ha, Gem got there first. Don't ask me how or why.

          • Geminisunmars

            Something Wicked This Way Cums? Something something Golden-eyed?

          • sullivanst

            Good song, but not likely to be mistaken for a hymn ;)

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Yeah, I think that's it!

            My memory's rotting on the vine. Used to be I never had to write a thing down and I could cite chapter and verse on anything. Sigh. Brain's turning to cornmeal, better light up and help it on its way.

          • Geminisunmars

            I'm afraid I know only too well what you mean. We might as well enjoy our twilight years — while we can still remember them.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            (Hugs the Gem) I know I'm not planning to go like my parents. Like Bandicoot, I'm still enjoying life and it has quality. When that ends, so must I.

          • LionHeartSoyDog

            What scares me is eventually becoming (in the distant future, hopefully) too feeble to end it with dignity when i feel it's time, and just lingering, and lingering… at huge expense.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            That's what happened to my Dad, who was a veteran of WW II, and swore he would go before all the indignities of old age brought him down. In the end, he had lost his mind, and even the power of speech. It was terrifying to see. I'm not going like that. I think we're all responsible for making sensible plans and for not being so attached to our paltry lives that we outstay our usefulness.

          • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

            MittBorg, I was in my hometown burying my 104 year old grandmother. The last two years were really hard but she was fully functional until the end. As for her usefulness, she emanated hope for all us and kept us together even though we are all over the country. That was worth everything to us.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Thank you for sharing your grandmother's story, Maman. That sounds so wonderful. With my Dad, it was very different. The day my mother died, something broke inside his head. At first he couldn't recognize or remember my mother, then he couldn't remember me, and towards the end, he couldn't speak. We would talk to him, and he would make these noises, trying to participate in the conversations. He forgot all the English he had ever known, and little by little, he forgot all the other languages as well, and in the end he forgot language itself. When he started making inhuman noises, I knew the end was near. My father was gone, and the body in the bed was only a shell. I wish he'd had the same kind of farewell as your dear grandmother. He was a wonderful man, and deserved better. (Hugs Maman) Thank you. You made me think of my Dad fondly today.

          • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

            I agree that your father's situation was awful and I don't want to be like that either. But I have every reason to believe that WON'T be you. So hang in there. And I am glad you thought about him fondly. Maybe in the beyond whatever it may be he will run across my nanny and they can laugh at us!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            That's such a sweet thought. Thank you. (Hugs Maman)

          • Geminisunmars

            That is what happened to my mother. She became too demented with dementia to off herself, as she'd always planned to do before it was "too late." I couldn't physically do it, but I did allow her to die when she came down with pneumonia. I'm hoping to drift off some night in sleep, or pop off with an unresuscitated hear attack, but unfortunately that isn't too likely, not when the health industry can make gazillions off of our last days (months, or years). My sis-in-law is now in a quality care facility – only $10,000 a month. Yes, a month.

          • LagunaB

            How is the cat that was so distressed when Bandicoot was sick all night? Is he comforting Bandicoot now?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Hey, darls (Hugs the LagunaB). That guy is a little feline psycho. He was abused as a kitten and after I took him in, his Mom (to whom he was EXTREMELY attached) died of a heart attack. He can't see too well, and he can't smell too well (feline herpes), and Bandicoot kind of has the same pattern as his Mom, so he decided to get attached to Bandicoot.

            This means that he has to have Bandicoot around, or he freaks out. Now, Bandicoot is a Little Buddha of a cat, but a guy needs a break from babysitting once in a while. So, let's just say that Gustav is not exactly comforting to anyone, but Bandicoot is comforting to all of us, including Gustav. My big worry is, what's going to happen to Gustav when Bandicoot goes? When Gustav's Mom died, he was depressed for weeks, screaming all night long (he has one of those Siamese voices, sounds like a water buffalo bellowing in the rice paddy) and refusing to eat.

            Life is always interesting in this house, even when it's a pain in the ass. How you doing, sweetie? Busy, busy, busy?

          • LagunaB

            Up at 4 am and out the door. Kinda mellow though. Nice people I am selling to for a change.I know that howl. My sister bought my dad 2 Manx cats and we drove them down to Laguna from SF. Sophie howled in my face all the way down. Totally miserable in the car.Years later when Sophie got sick and was taken to the vet. She had to be put down, feline leukemia. My mother said in 40 years she had never seen my father cry.I am sorry that Bandicoot is so sick.Sent from my iPhone

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Thanks for the kind thoughts. It's hard to lose anyone you love, whether fourfoot or two. Bandicoot's mostly better now, just old and fading, and wants to eat once every hour in bed, so we never get to sleep any more. But we love him, so we do what we have to.

          • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

            HA! we are with you!! and all my best to bandicoot.

            we have harry the beautiful gay supermodel who has outlived every vet's predictions and remained with us for the last 18 months (due to a grueling does of meds and fluids).

            we would not want it any other way.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Thanks, love. (Hugs fuflans wholeheartedly) Good wishes, no, best wishes to Harry. (Does he have a blog?)

            My poor old-man kitty is sleeping peacefully next to me. He's such a sweet-natured fellow, and I know my heart will break when he goes. But that's life. We love anyway, and take the risk of loss.

            Thank you, friend.

          • redarmyzombie

            You have my sympathies, MittBorg. I, too, have a shit-tastic memory, and I'm not even 25; as a matter of fact, my stoner friends have admitted to me they're glad I haven't done marijuana, if only because of that…

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Wow, you should actually see a doctor about that. It's not normal to have severe memory problems at such an early age. Mine are undoubtedly age-related. I think of it as "too many records for the database." But when I was your age, I never wrote down telephone numbers or addresses, or, in fact, pretty much anything. I carried all the information in my head. Nowadays, I have trouble remembering friends' telephone numbers. Oy!

          • redarmyzombie

            I probably should, but to be fair I also have to say it's gotten better as I've become older; as a kid, I couldn't remember diddly-shit!

            I should probably also explain that as a kid I was diagnosed with low-spectrum autism and attention deficit hyperactive disorder, both of which certainly didn't help…

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Oh, OK. I was starting to worry about you! (It's my hobby. I worry about everything,) My sympathies. Let's hope you have the reverse of what most of us have – fantastic memories as children, no memories as adults. You'll go backwards, starting off with a bad memory and by the time you're 90, you'll be able to recite entire epic poems from memory, backward, for laughs.

          • redarmyzombie

            I've already got Jabberwocky and half of The Walrus And The Carpenter down pat! After that, it'll be on to Beowulf!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            When you can recite the Mahabharata in Sanskrit, backwards, we'll hold an awards ceremony.

          • Halloween Jack

            "The Manhole Chronicles."

  • edgydrifter

    Obviously gay man is obviously gay.

  • SorosBot

    Breaking news: water has announced that it is wet.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Watching CNN made me gay!

    • Jimmyone

      I may not be ghey but watching him during the Katrina event made my nipples hard.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      If I watch it, will it make me one too?

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        Just commenting on this made you gay!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          ZOMG! Teh Ghey is contagious?

          Does it wash off?

  • Goonemeritus

    Mazel Tov!

    It always make me feel better somehow when significantly more attractive men than I are gay. Does this make me a bad person?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Back when my 20-something self was impeccably groomed, fashionably thin and sporting those cute, round Harry Potter specs, I had a lot of guys stopping me on the streets of Seattle asking me if I "had the time." They were mostly gracious about hiding their disappointment as I consulted my watch and read off a number to them.

      But it took me three or for times to realize what was going on.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Oh I got that too. I always said "does anybody really know what time it is……."

        • sullivanst

          Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Wow, they were polite to you!

        Well, I was blond, to be fair…

      • Fare la Volpe

        It always annoys me when you straight boys get hit on more than I do.

        Harumph, spit.

      • http://wonkette.com BelleSC

        Is that really a dog whistle? Is it the same for females?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Oh, hell, no, it just means the old "More for me!" light just flashed on in your brain.

      • redarmyzombie

        And more for us, as well!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Shh, don't tell them!

    • UnholyMoses

      Without "significantly more attractive men than I [being] gay," heteros like me would have never gotten laid.

      So, no. You = normal.

    • UW8316154

      Aren't pretty much ALL gay men attractive?

      • MosesInvests

        No. Exhibit A: Rush Limbaugh.

      • finallyhappy

        I had two gay co-workers who said fat unattractive gay men should be forced to become straight(hey. it was a joke!)

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Not all of them are attractive, but most of them know how to make themselves so.

      • redarmyzombie

        Unfortunately, no…

    • Biff

      It has been my experience that the women who find a man like AC attractive would rather wait an eternity for him to turn straight than to give me a second glance.

  • Come here a minute

    Bad timing, Anderson, didn't you hear the Supreme Court declared the man date unconstitutional? It was on CNN.

    • rickmaci

      Well played.

    • badseeds

      There's a good chance that Anderson, as a CNN personality, got this scoop wrong.

  • mavenmaven

    And?

  • FakaktaSouth

    Well good for Anderson, and good for me and my having already accepted that he would never want me a long ass time ago (I have a serious thing for guys with such beautiful silver hair) so that now I am not crushed – I am the idiot that didn't know about Michael Stipe for years and years, this is definitely nicer.

    • SorosBot

      My first childhood crush was on Joan Jett, so I know how you feel.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Mine was Linda Ronstadt. I still don't know if she'd do me.

      • FakaktaSouth

        I remember you telling me that! See? We can ALL be brilliant, beautiful AND confused by the people we love, just like poor Anderson used to be.

        • SorosBot

          At least it's better than being obsessed with Jodie Foster to the point you shoot the President just to impress her, only to find out the truth.

          • finallyhappy

            right-I never thought about that(I mean, I know she is gay)- wow, how does he feel now? I guess I can go to St. E's and ask him.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Hey, there's always Steve Martin.

      • FakaktaSouth

        Seriously, seriously my love for Steve Martin extends so far beyond, but definitely includes that head of hair. Okay Thanks! I feel a little more hopeful!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Leslie Nielsen?

          • FakaktaSouth

            Oh heck yeah…"nice beaver" made me his in an instant! (well, "don't call me Shirley," THEN "nice beaver" but you know what I mean…hilarious AND silver hair is a definite)

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I totally love the guy, he's gotta have a corny sense of humour to have done the movies he did. So, I have a Heaven designed for you. Inhabited by a straight clone of Anderson, a younger Peter Graves, Leslie Nielsen, and Rachel Maddow. Add anyone else to your harem as you want.

          • FakaktaSouth

            Wow!! That really does, for the first time ever, truly sound like MY kinda Heaven!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Don't think of it as being bribed for your vote. Think of it as electing A God You Can Believe In.

    • Goonemeritus

      Mine was on Natasha Nogoodnik so I can identify with doomed from the start love.

    • prommie

      Yay! More chicks for me! One more, anyway.

      You didn't know Michael Stipe is gay? You shoulda known that from when he was romantically linked to that guy Natalie Merchant.

    • SoBeach

      I have a serious thing for guys with such beautiful silver hair…

      I've been grey since 35. Every day I'm thankful for all the women who share your predilection.

      • http://wonkette.com BelleSC

        My sister and I both greyed young. I enjoy the compliments! I refuse to wear a grandma hairstyle.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          My wife has silver hair. She wears it cut really short and butch, and it looks GREAT.

          • http://wonkette.com BelleSC

            Yep. Me too. Lots of "product."
            Fairly daring for this area but in New York or other civilized places it gets barely a glance.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Congratulations on setting some style in the lives of the yokels! Wish I could see your lovely hair. Bet you look great with your hair all styled and silver jewelry. As I grow older, I begin to appreciate all over again the very special charms of older women.

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      My golden threads are turning to silver, dear heart.
      (But i am 63 years old.)

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        But that's such a *youthful* twinkle in your eye!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    He's gay?

    So he lied when he blew me????

  • RomanSolo3000

    When is Rachel Maddow coming out of the closet?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

      That young fella? Gay? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    • FakaktaSouth

      I would SO get in a closet with that smart ass girl ANY day, any time…7 minutes in heaven is a real thing you know.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        I have glasses that make me look smart, as long as I don't say anything.
        Just sayin …

        • FakaktaSouth

          You're not fooling anyone, I already know you're smart…and glasses? Woot woot! Get in that closet girl – I'm right behind you.

          • prommie

            Your gonna need a director for this movie, I am only too happy to offer my services!

          • FakaktaSouth

            That is going to be a very crowded closet.
            Do guys think cameras fall out of girls hoohahs anytime we get naked together? (I mean, that would be fucking cool, and since I've not actually gotten to do this, they might, and who am I to judge?)

          • prommie

            Don't you have walk-in closets in Alabama? Where do you keep your whore-boots and your flip-flop collection? And these days everyone is their own porn autuer, what with cel-phone video, no matter where you are, nowadays, there's always a camera around!

            Hell, if I was in charge of giving sex advice to young women, one thing I would tell them is to avoid sex positions in which you can't see what the dude is up to back there (I think we all know what I mean) or else you never know when you might be unwittingly starring in your own porn movie.

          • FakaktaSouth

            My closet is plenty big enough for all the shoes I don't wear, the problem is my gymnastics routine is fairly intensive. But ya know, I is old, because cameras to me still sit on people's shoulders with vhs tapes in the side…I know I know…

          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            I go to lunch and now I'm suddenly in a porno being filmed by prommie? Sweet!

          • Dashboard Buddha

            And many performances are better in front of a live audience. Where can I get tickets?

          • redarmyzombie

            Who wants popcorn!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            MEEEE!

        • Texan_Bulldog

          Snowbilly thinks her glasses make her look smart, too. But as soon as she opens her damn yap….

          • prommie

            They make her look like Peggy Hill. Speaking of Texas.

          • Isyaignert

            Ha! I heard $arah's eye doctor called her up to see why she was wearing glasses since he had performed lasik surgery on her. Her phoney glasses are as empty as her head, heart and soul.

        • Isyaignert

          Haha! Say – it was nice to meet you at the shindig in Seattle. What a great, diverse group of Wonketteers! Yay us!!

          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            It was great to meet you too! I should have worn my glasses saturday so that everyone would think I was smart.

      • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

        ME FIRST, I DON'T CARE WHAT TEAM SHE BATS FOR

    • JustPixelz

      Not to brag, but I spend some time with Rachel every weeknight. She are smart.

      • Negropolis

        I think most of us spend time with Rachel every weeknight, unless you're trying to imply you actually work for the show…which would be awesome.

        • JustPixelz

          That would be awesome. (sighs) But my work is here, in the wonkette comment shop.

    • fartknocker

      Actually, she came out in her book Drift. She's a smart, sexy woman, who knows how to make excellent cocktails

    • MosesInvests

      I'd consider gender reassignment surgery if I could get with her.

  • Schmannnity

    CNN is so desperate for ratings it had to release this "news."

    • UW8316154

      CNN isn't covering it, they must have made an editorial decision to treat this as personal information, not news. Which, of course, it really isn't.

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      I read it on Drudge. No siren-flashy-thinges…

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ MumbletyRadio

    and I couldn’t be any more happy

    And a lot of women, for whom size orientation doesn't matter, couldn't be any more fappy no matter what you say, Anderson. They still have the hots for you, numerous of my news junkie gir'frien's, and if I had cable enough or time I might, too.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      A good woman always believes she can turn the gay man around.

      This is why I used to strategically act kinda gay sometimes at parties.

      • MissTaken

        Oh you homophony!

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ MumbletyRadio

        Oh I've seen that movie, but it was a long time ago — "Chasing Ambiguous"?

    • Negropolis

      A lot of people, in general, don't let soemone's sexual orientation matter as it relates to their own lust. lol

  • notreelyhelping

    And kind of…dreamy. Bet he wears a mean trenchcoat.

  • RedneckMuslin

    Get a room, you guys!

  • RedneckMuslin

    "and I couldn’t be any more happy "

    Which means he's gayest. gay, gayer, gayest..

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Wake me up when Limbaugh comes out of the closet.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      He would have to be able to fit in a closet to start with.

      • emmelemm

        Zing!

        Ugh, I hate Rush Limbaugh.

        • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

          As does anyone with a soul.

    • elviouslyqueer

      DO NOT WANT.

      • widestanceromance

        Yeah, for reals. Please, Rush, stay in.

      • Limeylizzie

        I think he might want you though , darling EQ.

    • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      No closet has a door that wide.

    • Estproph

      Limbaugh couldn't come out of a closet if it were the size of a tractor-trailer.

    • widestanceromance

      He would not so much come out of the closet as split the wood into splinters, thus the closet came off of him.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I have a GREAT early issue of Gay Comix that features a closet with eyes and legs fainting at the sight of a studly dude eating a hot dog. For some reason, your comment brings back that cover in all its arty glory.

  • http://wonkette.com OldWhiteLies

    I will admit to being mildly surprised by this – surprised he admitted it in this current political environment.

    On the other hand one wonders if the network had him go with this to get some focus off of the BLINDINGLY STOOOPID ERROR IN REPORTING ON THE ACA DECISION.

    • emmelemm

      "Look over here!" {jazz hands}

      • http://wonkette.com OldWhiteLies

        Hey Emmmy (can I call you Emmy? cause it just works with your handle), borrowing this older reply to ask: Do U member all the handles from last Sat?

        I feel stupid, but all I've got is: Yourself, BSFD, STP, Nostrild, APinkPoodle, Weej, TampNDirtDown. But I'm drawing a blank after that. Shoulda noted them down. There were also some that I remember seeing arrive who stayed nearer the stairs, but didn't ever get intros. Did you catch any of their IDs? Tanx muchly. Cheers.

        • emmelemm

          You may call me Emmy. Or Emm. Or… anything, really.

          Honestly, I think you got most of the handles, or at least most of the ones I remember. Isyaignert was the dark-haired lady sitting on the other side of Weejee from you – she left early-ish. And her handle, she explains, is a play on "Is ya ign(ora)nt?"

          Lionel Hutz, Esq. – glasses, red button-down shirt, lawyer from Tacoma. BoatOfVelociraptors – young guy with iPad (also, "Cat. Ladder."). And of course, JonWhoDOESN'TComment. !!! There were some others sitting at the far end of the table (away from the windows) whose handles I didn't catch either… ?

          • http://wonkette.com OldWhiteLies

            OK, still missing somebody from the party-extended crew. There were 2 womenz & 5 boyezzs by my count. You and BSFD; then BOV, LHE, STP, mystery man who was sitting to my left at Mona's (at the wall end of the table as opposed to the door end), and myself. So whodat?

            EDIT: sorry, 6 boyezzs, left out JWdzntC. There – I just created a handle for you Jon. No more bloody excuses.

          • emmelemm

            Yes! Guy in the blue t-shirt. He told us his handle, which I did recognize, but I don't think he comments very much. Now I can't remember it!! Will think on it…

          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            I think you guys talking about fairtackle? I'm following him, check me out.

          • emmelemm

            Thanks!!!

          • emmelemm

            Just wanted to make sure you saw this from BigSkullFuckingDog:

            "I think you guys talking about fairtackle? I'm following him, check me out."

  • JustPixelz

    "…I couldn’t be any more happy…"

    In the old days, that was the definition of gay. I suspect the non-heterosexuals used "gay" as a counterbalance to the unhappiness others wished for them. So Anderson's double declaration of gaiety gets re-doubled and … I'm getting into some math here … that means he's four times happier than Marcus Bachmann. (But who isn't?)

    • Jus_Wonderin

      However, if Anderson Cooper were on a train going West at 70 mph………….

      • sullivanst

        Did you say Go West?

        • Geminisunmars

          That's a catchy little tune.

  • http://wonkette.com Chill_Bill

    I haven't been this shocked since Ricky Martin came out. Good for Anderson, though.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      For me, it was that butch feller, Freddie Mercury. I mean, I always thought "Killer Queen" was about a Mati Hari type figure…

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Hey, when you have a trust fund the size of Anderson's, you can have relationships with feta-baked eggs, for all anyone cares.

    And for whom, exactly, was this news? I mean, God may have claimed not to know, but there isn't a faggot/dyke/queer alive who didn't hit ELEBENTY on the gaydar.

    • finallyhappy

      A relationship with a feta baked egg- is that some Greek guy reference?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Nah, it was breakfast time (for me), and I was fantasizing what I might care to dish up. Slow-roasted salmon tonight, packed with shallots, olive oil, and lemon-scented herbs, and a rich pasta sauce with pancetta and bay leaves and a scrape of nutmeg.

        See what I mean? Food on the brain. Must be dinner time.

        • redarmyzombie

          Dammit MittBorg, I JUST ate…

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I know. I'm awful. (hangs head)

            FWIW, the salmon was FABULOUS. The kind of salmon you would kill your whole family for.

          • redarmyzombie

            You know, I don't even like fish, and that sounded wonderful…

  • Baconzgood

    Didn't see that comming. Well, yeah I did.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Well, good for Anderson, but it makes me feel kind of, you know, left out- how come there isn't a heterosexual closet for me to come out of?….and my hair is just, you know, gray….

  • JustPixelz

    His new motto can be "keeping me honest … finally".

  • UW8316154

    Your move, Tom Cruise.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      LEAVE TOMMY ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!

      Doesn't he have enough on his plate lawyering up for the divorce AND the Travolta tell-all?????

    • elviouslyqueer

      And John Travolta, also, too.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      With the divorce, maybe Anderson came out just so Tom would know he is available.

    • viennawoods13

      Dammit, that was going to be my line!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Was this reported on CNN? Cause if so its probably the exact opposite of this.

    • MissTaken

      CNN Breaking News: Anderson Cooper Gets Married to Woman, Says Could Not Be Happier About Gay Marriage Bans.

  • Barb

    In a perfect world this wouldn't matter.

    • UnholyMoses

      But, sadly, we live in this one …

      **frownyface**

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Exactly…it would like me announcing that I'm left handed. Always have been…always will be.

    • HateMachine

      It already sort of doesn't really matter since it's news to nobody. We'll get to the perfect version of this scenario eventually.

  • Billmatic

    This is the least necessary public announcement of homosexuality since Nathan Lane "came out of the closet."

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Nathan Lane?! Next you'll be saying Charles Nelson Reilly wasn't the epitome of maleness?

      • Billmatic

        I know it was staggeringly unbelievable when Mr. Lane actually announced that he was gay. It was like my whole life up until then was some kind of lie.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

    "I'm coming to you live from my own pants with this exclusive report…"

  • anniegetyerfun

    Does this mean he can stop squinting so much?

  • Tundra Grifter

    Memo to the Wonkette Headline Writer:

    People don't "admit" to being gay. And they don't "confess," either.

    "Acknowledge" would be ok. "State." Or even, I suppose, "confirm."

    But, please, not "admit."

    • sullivanst

      Think of it in the sense a judge orders that something be admitted into evidence.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I dunno. I mean, if you read the entire article, it sounds like he's considering it an admission. He admits he's kept it secret to keep the people around him safe and to not stand in front of a story.

      Oops. There's that word again…

    • HateMachine

      With Cooper, it's really more "remind"

    • Negropolis

      Ummm, you realize that the entire title is snark to begin with, right?

      • Tundra Grifter

        Are you suggesting I jumped the snark?

        I would agree with you regarding the second half. The first half? Not so much.

  • Sassomatic

    Is this going to be a new thing where everyone who has ever appeared on television has to make an announcement about what they do with their naughty bits?

    • finallyhappy

      ok, my turn- I am going to be in a documentary- I am straight and old

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid

    But the uncertainty is what gave those interviews with Michael Phelps where they both stripped down to their trunks the creative tension!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkbrdwL6bbE

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      Holy Smokes, that Michael Phelps just Undulates under water to move faster than a normal mammal!

  • SheriffRoscoe

    I heard him laugh on air, once, and thought, gee, he sure laughs like a girl for a straight guy. Now it all makes sense.

  • elburritodeluxe

    In other news: Scientists announce that water is wet.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Scientists announce that water is wet.

      …and so is Anderson, Hey-O! [rimshot]

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Did the job thing come through for ya, DbB?

  • UnholyMoses

    Anderson Cooper: "I'm gay."

    Rest of humanity: "Duh."

  • SheriffRoscoe

    The guy who reads the news on teevee in Iran came out publicly, too, so they cancelled his contract. And then stoned him.

  • a_pink_poodle

    When did this happen?! Did anyone know he was gay?

  • elburritodeluxe

    Don't let yourselves be outdone by the goddamned pussies at CNN, Fox News Channel. I'm sure you have one or two well-groomed personalities who can come out!

    • Limeylizzie

      Shep- come on out baby!

  • superdave

    Is there anyone in the whole entire universe that is surprised by this bombshell?

  • DahBoner

    Why doesn't he marry a large-breasted JAP goldigger half his age, like every other fastidiously neat Jewish comedian does???

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      Seinfeld libel!!!

    • Limeylizzie

      Did you just out Seinfeld?

      • DahBoner

        No, but I've read women with big boobs like guys with a sense of humor!

        • Limeylizzie

          I know I do.

  • neiltheblaze

    Now, after a mildly amusing human interest segment, Anderson will feel free to giggle and say "That's fabulous!!"

    Seriously – I'm glad for him.

  • widestanceromance

    Haters will hate on him for waiting so long, but at least he didn't get come out ONLY because he got caught with a mouthful like certain others who seem to have been forgiven for staying closeted for too long.

    Welcome to your life, AC.

  • ingloriousbytch

    "Anderson Cooper, whom a full 100% of the American population has witnessed making out with dudes at one point or another…"

    I haven't seen that but if anybody would like to point me toward some video I would be so very grateful.

    • Limeylizzie

      If you go to any decent restaurant in NYC, you will see him at some point.

  • shortsandpants

    He could have at least bought us dinner before laying it on so thick.

  • Awful People

    Rush Limbaugh Announces Fatness; World Chews Fried Chicken in Solidarity

  • proudgrampa

    Christ. It must be a slow news day.

  • Limeylizzie

    Good for him, I am sure I am not the only New Yorker who has seen him at restaurants with, usually, a very handsome young Latino .Also seeing him leaving the gym, in Chelsea, was a wee hint.

  • owhatever

    Not to be outdone, F*x News will out both Hannity and Chris Wallace on the same day.

  • DaniloTifoso

    I'M WHITE!!!

    (IE: So what. It's a non-issue)

  • SpeedoFart

    *concentrates really hard on growing a peen!*

  • sullivanst

    A whole page for Douglas Adams quotes? Cool :)

    • viennawoods13

      I'm going to assume that you know that mine is a quote too… Oh and now that I see the dolphins at the top of the page, I hear "So long, and thanks for all the fish"

      • sullivanst

        Oh good grief. I must've been spending too much time inside the asylum. Completely missed that, like Arthur missing the ground after throwing himself at it.

        • viennawoods13

          We all have those days.

  • http://matthewgreenbaum.com swordfis

    This is really shocking. I still haven't gotten over the whole human-on-Santorum thing.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Gasp! There is a … human … on SANTORUM?

  • Robman2

    Pfapf…or as Bill the Cat would say, Pfffttt…How novel, do 'ya think Gloria knows?

  • Warpde

    "Anderson Cooper Admits He Is Attracted to Men."

    Well, excuse me, I think I have a date :)

  • ttommyunger

    True to form, seven minutes later, CNN reported Anderson Cooper is, in fact, straight.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    All three of them are at a cookout and won't be back till after the weekend.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Those horrendous old hobags have nothing better to do than meddle in other people's lives, it seems.

  • barto

    Does this mean – anything?!?

  • phlox✔

    Your move Shep…

  • Negropolis

    Can you really come out of a closet without a door on it?

    Well, this will definitely make the Kathy Griffin's teasing of him every second of the hour on New Years Eve go away. We get it Ms. Griffin; you want to make that man as uncomfortable on national television as you possibly can.

  • Troubledog

    I'm only CNN-curious, we don't have a serious relationship.