OH BOY  2:05 pm July 2, 2012

Anderson Cooper Admits He Is Attracted to Men, Not The Other People

by Jim Newell

Rick Santorum was rightCNN hurricane guy Anderson Cooper, whom a full 100% of the American population has witnessed making out with dudes at one point or another, has an announcement! “The fact is, I’m gay, always have been, always will be, and I couldn’t be any more happy, comfortable with myself, and proud.” Being rich is nice, too. [Andrew Sullivan]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 237 comments }

nounverb911 July 2, 2012 at 2:06 pm

His mother probably got tired of sharing her jeans with him.

ChernobylSoup July 2, 2012 at 2:08 pm

"It's a shame to call them genes."

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 2:20 pm

She was a size queen?

nounverb911 July 2, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Diane Arbus would be proud of him.

glamourdammerung July 2, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I am having a very hard time pretending to be surprised.

ManchuCandidate July 2, 2012 at 2:10 pm

The shrieks you heard were from Tom Cruise and Lindsey Graham, from the "Who are we kidding? Closet."

ManchuCandidate July 2, 2012 at 2:10 pm

The shrieks you heard were from Tom Cruise and Lindsey Graham, deep from the "Who are we kidding?" Closet.

Good for Anderson though.

mrpuma2u July 2, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Uhm hello??? The impeccable wardrobe? The almost always perfect hair? If your gaydar doesn't register a giant blip on the screen, then it's broken.

wondering where i am July 2, 2012 at 2:14 pm

How about the tight black tee shirts hugging the six-pack abs? Well, it is official, at last. It is official that it is a slow news day.

Jus_Wonderin July 2, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I like Anderson. I feel he is genuine.

Texan_Bulldog July 2, 2012 at 2:48 pm

I like Anderson because he is purttty. Seriously, he's a really nice looking man.

ChernobylSoup July 2, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Does he have to resign or is it the 21st century yet?

Maman July 2, 2012 at 2:12 pm

ugh, I just spent the morning at the church of my childhood and I am totally de-snarked.

Jus_Wonderin July 2, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Quick, turn to page 243 in your Snarknyll. Sing with us.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 2:18 pm

o/~ All things blight and bruteable…

Geminisunmars July 2, 2012 at 2:20 pm

"Gladly the Cross-eyed Bear" is a good selection.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I prefer "Onward, Crustean Soldiers"….

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 2:30 pm

A Ray Bradbury story that I can't quite fish the title of out of the old brain database. Which is it?

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 2:32 pm

"The Town Where No One Got Off"?

Geminisunmars July 2, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Something Wicked This Way Cums? Something something Golden-eyed?

Halloween Jack July 2, 2012 at 3:45 pm

"The Manhole Chronicles."

edgydrifter July 2, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Obviously gay man is obviously gay.

SorosBot July 2, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Breaking news: water has announced that it is wet.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 2, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Watching CNN made me gay!

Jimmyone July 2, 2012 at 2:32 pm

I may not be ghey but watching him during the Katrina event made my nipples hard.

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 8:37 pm

If I watch it, will it make me one too?

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 2, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Just commenting on this made you gay!

MittBorg July 3, 2012 at 11:06 pm

ZOMG! Teh Ghey is contagious?

Does it wash off?

Goonemeritus July 2, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Mazel Tov!

It always make me feel better somehow when significantly more attractive men than I are gay. Does this make me a bad person?

Lascauxcaveman July 2, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Back when my 20-something self was impeccably groomed, fashionably thin and sporting those cute, round Harry Potter specs, I had a lot of guys stopping me on the streets of Seattle asking me if I "had the time." They were mostly gracious about hiding their disappointment as I consulted my watch and read off a number to them.

But it took me three or for times to realize what was going on.

Jus_Wonderin July 2, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Oh I got that too. I always said "does anybody really know what time it is……."

sullivanst July 2, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Wow, they were polite to you!

Well, I was blond, to be fair…

Fare la Volpe July 2, 2012 at 3:43 pm

It always annoys me when you straight boys get hit on more than I do.

Harumph, spit.

BelleSC July 3, 2012 at 6:16 am

Is that really a dog whistle? Is it the same for females?

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Oh, hell, no, it just means the old "More for me!" light just flashed on in your brain.

redarmyzombie July 3, 2012 at 4:42 am

And more for us, as well!

MittBorg July 3, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Shh, don't tell them!

UnholyMoses July 2, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Without "significantly more attractive men than I [being] gay," heteros like me would have never gotten laid.

So, no. You = normal.

UW8316154 July 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Aren't pretty much ALL gay men attractive?

MosesInvests July 2, 2012 at 5:28 pm

No. Exhibit A: Rush Limbaugh.

finallyhappy July 2, 2012 at 6:04 pm

I had two gay co-workers who said fat unattractive gay men should be forced to become straight(hey. it was a joke!)

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Not all of them are attractive, but most of them know how to make themselves so.

redarmyzombie July 3, 2012 at 4:42 am

Unfortunately, no…

Biff July 2, 2012 at 4:01 pm

It has been my experience that the women who find a man like AC attractive would rather wait an eternity for him to turn straight than to give me a second glance.

Come here a minute July 2, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Bad timing, Anderson, didn't you hear the Supreme Court declared the man date unconstitutional? It was on CNN.

rickmaci July 2, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Well played.

badseeds July 2, 2012 at 2:43 pm

There's a good chance that Anderson, as a CNN personality, got this scoop wrong.

mavenmaven July 2, 2012 at 2:13 pm

And?

FakaktaSouth July 2, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Well good for Anderson, and good for me and my having already accepted that he would never want me a long ass time ago (I have a serious thing for guys with such beautiful silver hair) so that now I am not crushed – I am the idiot that didn't know about Michael Stipe for years and years, this is definitely nicer.

SorosBot July 2, 2012 at 2:20 pm

My first childhood crush was on Joan Jett, so I know how you feel.

Jus_Wonderin July 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Mine was Linda Ronstadt. I still don't know if she'd do me.

FakaktaSouth July 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

I remember you telling me that! See? We can ALL be brilliant, beautiful AND confused by the people we love, just like poor Anderson used to be.

SorosBot July 2, 2012 at 2:39 pm

At least it's better than being obsessed with Jodie Foster to the point you shoot the President just to impress her, only to find out the truth.

finallyhappy July 2, 2012 at 6:06 pm

right-I never thought about that(I mean, I know she is gay)- wow, how does he feel now? I guess I can go to St. E's and ask him.

Lascauxcaveman July 2, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Hey, there's always Steve Martin.

FakaktaSouth July 2, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Seriously, seriously my love for Steve Martin extends so far beyond, but definitely includes that head of hair. Okay Thanks! I feel a little more hopeful!

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Leslie Nielsen?

FakaktaSouth July 2, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Oh heck yeah…"nice beaver" made me his in an instant! (well, "don't call me Shirley," THEN "nice beaver" but you know what I mean…hilarious AND silver hair is a definite)

Goonemeritus July 2, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Mine was on Natasha Nogoodnik so I can identify with doomed from the start love.

prommie July 2, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Yay! More chicks for me! One more, anyway.

You didn't know Michael Stipe is gay? You shoulda known that from when he was romantically linked to that guy Natalie Merchant.

SoBeach July 2, 2012 at 2:46 pm

I have a serious thing for guys with such beautiful silver hair…

I've been grey since 35. Every day I'm thankful for all the women who share your predilection.

BelleSC July 3, 2012 at 6:20 am

My sister and I both greyed young. I enjoy the compliments! I refuse to wear a grandma hairstyle.

MittBorg July 3, 2012 at 11:28 pm

My wife has silver hair. She wears it cut really short and butch, and it looks GREAT.

BelleSC July 4, 2012 at 7:39 am

Yep. Me too. Lots of "product."
Fairly daring for this area but in New York or other civilized places it gets barely a glance.

LionHeartSoyDog July 2, 2012 at 4:30 pm

My golden threads are turning to silver, dear heart.
(But i am 63 years old.)

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 8:42 pm

But that's such a *youthful* twinkle in your eye!

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 2:16 pm

He's gay?

So he lied when he blew me????

RomanSolo3000 July 2, 2012 at 2:16 pm

When is Rachel Maddow coming out of the closet?

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 2:19 pm

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

That young fella? Gay? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

FakaktaSouth July 2, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I would SO get in a closet with that smart ass girl ANY day, any time…7 minutes in heaven is a real thing you know.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I have glasses that make me look smart, as long as I don't say anything.
Just sayin …

FakaktaSouth July 2, 2012 at 2:30 pm

You're not fooling anyone, I already know you're smart…and glasses? Woot woot! Get in that closet girl – I'm right behind you.

prommie July 2, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Your gonna need a director for this movie, I am only too happy to offer my services!

Texan_Bulldog July 2, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Snowbilly thinks her glasses make her look smart, too. But as soon as she opens her damn yap….

prommie July 2, 2012 at 3:05 pm

They make her look like Peggy Hill. Speaking of Texas.

Isyaignert July 2, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Ha! I heard $arah's eye doctor called her up to see why she was wearing glasses since he had performed lasik surgery on her. Her phoney glasses are as empty as her head, heart and soul.

Isyaignert July 2, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Haha! Say – it was nice to meet you at the shindig in Seattle. What a great, diverse group of Wonketteers! Yay us!!

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 2, 2012 at 4:35 pm

It was great to meet you too! I should have worn my glasses saturday so that everyone would think I was smart.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ July 2, 2012 at 2:28 pm

ME FIRST, I DON'T CARE WHAT TEAM SHE BATS FOR

JustPixelz July 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Not to brag, but I spend some time with Rachel every weeknight. She are smart.

Negropolis July 3, 2012 at 2:11 am

I think most of us spend time with Rachel every weeknight, unless you're trying to imply you actually work for the show…which would be awesome.

JustPixelz July 3, 2012 at 7:20 am

That would be awesome. (sighs) But my work is here, in the wonkette comment shop.

fartknocker July 2, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Actually, she came out in her book Drift. She's a smart, sexy woman, who knows how to make excellent cocktails

MosesInvests July 2, 2012 at 5:34 pm

I'd consider gender reassignment surgery if I could get with her.

Schmannnity July 2, 2012 at 2:17 pm

CNN is so desperate for ratings it had to release this "news."

UW8316154 July 2, 2012 at 2:26 pm

CNN isn't covering it, they must have made an editorial decision to treat this as personal information, not news. Which, of course, it really isn't.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ July 2, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I read it on Drudge. No siren-flashy-thinges…

MumbletyRadio July 2, 2012 at 2:17 pm

and I couldn’t be any more happy

And a lot of women, for whom size orientation doesn't matter, couldn't be any more fappy no matter what you say, Anderson. They still have the hots for you, numerous of my news junkie gir'frien's, and if I had cable enough or time I might, too.

Lascauxcaveman July 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm

A good woman always believes she can turn the gay man around.

This is why I used to strategically act kinda gay sometimes at parties.

MissTaken July 2, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Oh you homophony!

MumbletyRadio July 2, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Oh I've seen that movie, but it was a long time ago — "Chasing Ambiguous"?

Negropolis July 3, 2012 at 2:12 am

A lot of people, in general, don't let soemone's sexual orientation matter as it relates to their own lust. lol

notreelyhelping July 2, 2012 at 2:18 pm

And kind of…dreamy. Bet he wears a mean trenchcoat.

RedneckMuslin July 2, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Get a room, you guys!

RedneckMuslin July 2, 2012 at 2:20 pm

"and I couldn’t be any more happy "

Which means he's gayest. gay, gayer, gayest..

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Wake me up when Limbaugh comes out of the closet.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 2, 2012 at 2:28 pm

He would have to be able to fit in a closet to start with.

emmelemm July 2, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Zing!

Ugh, I hate Rush Limbaugh.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 2, 2012 at 4:36 pm

As does anyone with a soul.

elviouslyqueer July 2, 2012 at 2:30 pm

DO NOT WANT.

widestanceromance July 2, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Yeah, for reals. Please, Rush, stay in.

Limeylizzie July 2, 2012 at 4:13 pm

I think he might want you though , darling EQ.

FlownOver July 2, 2012 at 2:32 pm

No closet has a door that wide.

Estproph July 2, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Limbaugh couldn't come out of a closet if it were the size of a tractor-trailer.

widestanceromance July 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm

He would not so much come out of the closet as split the wood into splinters, thus the closet came off of him.

MittBorg July 3, 2012 at 11:42 pm

I have a GREAT early issue of Gay Comix that features a closet with eyes and legs fainting at the sight of a studly dude eating a hot dog. For some reason, your comment brings back that cover in all its arty glory.

OldWhiteLies July 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

I will admit to being mildly surprised by this – surprised he admitted it in this current political environment.

On the other hand one wonders if the network had him go with this to get some focus off of the BLINDINGLY STOOOPID ERROR IN REPORTING ON THE ACA DECISION.

emmelemm July 2, 2012 at 4:02 pm

"Look over here!" {jazz hands}

OldWhiteLies July 3, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Hey Emmmy (can I call you Emmy? cause it just works with your handle), borrowing this older reply to ask: Do U member all the handles from last Sat?

I feel stupid, but all I've got is: Yourself, BSFD, STP, Nostrild, APinkPoodle, Weej, TampNDirtDown. But I'm drawing a blank after that. Shoulda noted them down. There were also some that I remember seeing arrive who stayed nearer the stairs, but didn't ever get intros. Did you catch any of their IDs? Tanx muchly. Cheers.

emmelemm July 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

You may call me Emmy. Or Emm. Or… anything, really.

Honestly, I think you got most of the handles, or at least most of the ones I remember. Isyaignert was the dark-haired lady sitting on the other side of Weejee from you – she left early-ish. And her handle, she explains, is a play on "Is ya ign(ora)nt?"

Lionel Hutz, Esq. – glasses, red button-down shirt, lawyer from Tacoma. BoatOfVelociraptors – young guy with iPad (also, "Cat. Ladder."). And of course, JonWhoDOESN'TComment. !!! There were some others sitting at the far end of the table (away from the windows) whose handles I didn't catch either… ?

OldWhiteLies July 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

OK, still missing somebody from the party-extended crew. There were 2 womenz & 5 boyezzs by my count. You and BSFD; then BOV, LHE, STP, mystery man who was sitting to my left at Mona's (at the wall end of the table as opposed to the door end), and myself. So whodat?

EDIT: sorry, 6 boyezzs, left out JWdzntC. There – I just created a handle for you Jon. No more bloody excuses.

JustPixelz July 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

"…I couldn’t be any more happy…"

In the old days, that was the definition of gay. I suspect the non-heterosexuals used "gay" as a counterbalance to the unhappiness others wished for them. So Anderson's double declaration of gaiety gets re-doubled and … I'm getting into some math here … that means he's four times happier than Marcus Bachmann. (But who isn't?)

Jus_Wonderin July 2, 2012 at 2:25 pm

However, if Anderson Cooper were on a train going West at 70 mph………….

sullivanst July 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Did you say Go West?

Geminisunmars July 2, 2012 at 2:32 pm

That's a catchy little tune.

Chill_Bill July 2, 2012 at 2:22 pm

I haven't been this shocked since Ricky Martin came out. Good for Anderson, though.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 2:37 pm

For me, it was that butch feller, Freddie Mercury. I mean, I always thought "Killer Queen" was about a Mati Hari type figure…

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Hey, when you have a trust fund the size of Anderson's, you can have relationships with feta-baked eggs, for all anyone cares.

And for whom, exactly, was this news? I mean, God may have claimed not to know, but there isn't a faggot/dyke/queer alive who didn't hit ELEBENTY on the gaydar.

finallyhappy July 2, 2012 at 6:08 pm

A relationship with a feta baked egg- is that some Greek guy reference?

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Nah, it was breakfast time (for me), and I was fantasizing what I might care to dish up. Slow-roasted salmon tonight, packed with shallots, olive oil, and lemon-scented herbs, and a rich pasta sauce with pancetta and bay leaves and a scrape of nutmeg.

See what I mean? Food on the brain. Must be dinner time.

redarmyzombie July 3, 2012 at 4:50 am

Dammit MittBorg, I JUST ate…

MittBorg July 3, 2012 at 11:45 pm

I know. I'm awful. (hangs head)

FWIW, the salmon was FABULOUS. The kind of salmon you would kill your whole family for.

Baconzgood July 2, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Didn't see that comming. Well, yeah I did.

Toomush_Infer July 2, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Well, good for Anderson, but it makes me feel kind of, you know, left out- how come there isn't a heterosexual closet for me to come out of?….and my hair is just, you know, gray….

JustPixelz July 2, 2012 at 2:25 pm

His new motto can be "keeping me honest … finally".

UW8316154 July 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Your move, Tom Cruise.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 2:31 pm

LEAVE TOMMY ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!

Doesn't he have enough on his plate lawyering up for the divorce AND the Travolta tell-all?????

elviouslyqueer July 2, 2012 at 2:31 pm

And John Travolta, also, too.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 2, 2012 at 3:06 pm

With the divorce, maybe Anderson came out just so Tom would know he is available.

viennawoods13 July 2, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Dammit, that was going to be my line!

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 2, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Was this reported on CNN? Cause if so its probably the exact opposite of this.

MissTaken July 2, 2012 at 3:26 pm

CNN Breaking News: Anderson Cooper Gets Married to Woman, Says Could Not Be Happier About Gay Marriage Bans.

Barb July 2, 2012 at 2:31 pm

In a perfect world this wouldn't matter.

UnholyMoses July 2, 2012 at 3:01 pm

But, sadly, we live in this one …

**frownyface**

Dashboard Buddha July 2, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Exactly…it would like me announcing that I'm left handed. Always have been…always will be.

HateMachine July 2, 2012 at 3:22 pm

It already sort of doesn't really matter since it's news to nobody. We'll get to the perfect version of this scenario eventually.

Billmatic July 2, 2012 at 2:32 pm

This is the least necessary public announcement of homosexuality since Nathan Lane "came out of the closet."

Jus_Wonderin July 2, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Nathan Lane?! Next you'll be saying Charles Nelson Reilly wasn't the epitome of maleness?

Billmatic July 2, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I know it was staggeringly unbelievable when Mr. Lane actually announced that he was gay. It was like my whole life up until then was some kind of lie.

Chet Kincaid July 2, 2012 at 2:35 pm

"I'm coming to you live from my own pants with this exclusive report…"

anniegetyerfun July 2, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Does this mean he can stop squinting so much?

Tundra Grifter July 2, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Memo to the Wonkette Headline Writer:

People don't "admit" to being gay. And they don't "confess," either.

"Acknowledge" would be ok. "State." Or even, I suppose, "confirm."

But, please, not "admit."

sullivanst July 2, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Think of it in the sense a judge orders that something be admitted into evidence.

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 2:53 pm

I dunno. I mean, if you read the entire article, it sounds like he's considering it an admission. He admits he's kept it secret to keep the people around him safe and to not stand in front of a story.

Oops. There's that word again…

HateMachine July 2, 2012 at 3:24 pm

With Cooper, it's really more "remind"

Negropolis July 3, 2012 at 2:16 am

Ummm, you realize that the entire title is snark to begin with, right?

Tundra Grifter July 3, 2012 at 11:18 am

Are you suggesting I jumped the snark?

I would agree with you regarding the second half. The first half? Not so much.

Sassomatic July 2, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Is this going to be a new thing where everyone who has ever appeared on television has to make an announcement about what they do with their naughty bits?

finallyhappy July 2, 2012 at 6:10 pm

ok, my turn- I am going to be in a documentary- I am straight and old

Chet Kincaid July 2, 2012 at 2:54 pm

But the uncertainty is what gave those interviews with Michael Phelps where they both stripped down to their trunks the creative tension!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkbrdwL6bbE

LionHeartSoyDog July 2, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Holy Smokes, that Michael Phelps just Undulates under water to move faster than a normal mammal!

SheriffRoscoe July 2, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I heard him laugh on air, once, and thought, gee, he sure laughs like a girl for a straight guy. Now it all makes sense.

elburritodeluxe July 2, 2012 at 3:00 pm

In other news: Scientists announce that water is wet.

Dashboard Buddha July 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Scientists announce that water is wet.

…and so is Anderson, Hey-O! [rimshot]

MittBorg July 3, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Did the job thing come through for ya, DbB?

UnholyMoses July 2, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Anderson Cooper: "I'm gay."

Rest of humanity: "Duh."

SheriffRoscoe July 2, 2012 at 3:01 pm

The guy who reads the news on teevee in Iran came out publicly, too, so they cancelled his contract. And then stoned him.

a_pink_poodle July 2, 2012 at 3:03 pm

When did this happen?! Did anyone know he was gay?

elburritodeluxe July 2, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Don't let yourselves be outdone by the goddamned pussies at CNN, Fox News Channel. I'm sure you have one or two well-groomed personalities who can come out!

Limeylizzie July 2, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Shep- come on out baby!

superdave July 2, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Is there anyone in the whole entire universe that is surprised by this bombshell?

DahBoner July 2, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Why doesn't he marry a large-breasted JAP goldigger half his age, like every other fastidiously neat Jewish comedian does???

LionHeartSoyDog July 2, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Seinfeld libel!!!

Limeylizzie July 2, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Did you just out Seinfeld?

DahBoner July 2, 2012 at 4:43 pm

No, but I've read women with big boobs like guys with a sense of humor!

Limeylizzie July 2, 2012 at 5:05 pm

I know I do.

neiltheblaze July 2, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Now, after a mildly amusing human interest segment, Anderson will feel free to giggle and say "That's fabulous!!"

Seriously – I'm glad for him.

widestanceromance July 2, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Haters will hate on him for waiting so long, but at least he didn't get come out ONLY because he got caught with a mouthful like certain others who seem to have been forgiven for staying closeted for too long.

Welcome to your life, AC.

ingloriousbytch July 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm

"Anderson Cooper, whom a full 100% of the American population has witnessed making out with dudes at one point or another…"

I haven't seen that but if anybody would like to point me toward some video I would be so very grateful.

Limeylizzie July 2, 2012 at 4:15 pm

If you go to any decent restaurant in NYC, you will see him at some point.

shortsandpants July 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm

He could have at least bought us dinner before laying it on so thick.

Awful People July 2, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Rush Limbaugh Announces Fatness; World Chews Fried Chicken in Solidarity

proudgrampa July 2, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Christ. It must be a slow news day.

Limeylizzie July 2, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Good for him, I am sure I am not the only New Yorker who has seen him at restaurants with, usually, a very handsome young Latino .Also seeing him leaving the gym, in Chelsea, was a wee hint.

owhatever July 2, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Not to be outdone, F*x News will out both Hannity and Chris Wallace on the same day.

DaniloTifoso July 2, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I'M WHITE!!!

(IE: So what. It's a non-issue)

SpeedoFart July 2, 2012 at 4:28 pm

*concentrates really hard on growing a peen!*

sullivanst July 2, 2012 at 4:36 pm

A whole page for Douglas Adams quotes? Cool :)

viennawoods13 July 2, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I'm going to assume that you know that mine is a quote too… Oh and now that I see the dolphins at the top of the page, I hear "So long, and thanks for all the fish"

sullivanst July 2, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Oh good grief. I must've been spending too much time inside the asylum. Completely missed that, like Arthur missing the ground after throwing himself at it.

viennawoods13 July 2, 2012 at 5:49 pm

We all have those days.

swordfis July 2, 2012 at 5:24 pm

This is really shocking. I still haven't gotten over the whole human-on-Santorum thing.

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Gasp! There is a … human … on SANTORUM?

Robman2 July 2, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Pfapf…or as Bill the Cat would say, Pfffttt…How novel, do 'ya think Gloria knows?

Warpde July 2, 2012 at 6:07 pm

"Anderson Cooper Admits He Is Attracted to Men."

Well, excuse me, I think I have a date :)

ttommyunger July 2, 2012 at 8:05 pm

True to form, seven minutes later, CNN reported Anderson Cooper is, in fact, straight.

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 8:34 pm

All three of them are at a cookout and won't be back till after the weekend.

MittBorg July 3, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Those horrendous old hobags have nothing better to do than meddle in other people's lives, it seems.

barto July 3, 2012 at 12:47 am

Does this mean – anything?!?

phlox✔ July 3, 2012 at 1:06 am

Your move Shep…

Negropolis July 3, 2012 at 1:49 am

Can you really come out of a closet without a door on it?

Well, this will definitely make the Kathy Griffin's teasing of him every second of the hour on New Years Eve go away. We get it Ms. Griffin; you want to make that man as uncomfortable on national television as you possibly can.

Troubledog July 4, 2012 at 8:39 pm

I'm only CNN-curious, we don't have a serious relationship.

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Is that it?

actor212 July 2, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Beats me. That's the only short story title that sticks out in my head.

Go on, make the most of that…

sullivanst July 2, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Well, it presumably wasn't "Let's All Kill Constance".

Any of these?

sullivanst July 2, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Good song, but not likely to be mistaken for a hymn ;)

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Yeah, I think that's it!

My memory's rotting on the vine. Used to be I never had to write a thing down and I could cite chapter and verse on anything. Sigh. Brain's turning to cornmeal, better light up and help it on its way.

FakaktaSouth July 2, 2012 at 2:57 pm

That is going to be a very crowded closet.
Do guys think cameras fall out of girls hoohahs anytime we get naked together? (I mean, that would be fucking cool, and since I've not actually gotten to do this, they might, and who am I to judge?)

Dashboard Buddha July 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm

And many performances are better in front of a live audience. Where can I get tickets?

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Oh, please. Even I shouldn't have to toy with such low-hanging fruit.

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Ha, Gem got there first. Don't ask me how or why.

prommie July 2, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Don't you have walk-in closets in Alabama? Where do you keep your whore-boots and your flip-flop collection? And these days everyone is their own porn autuer, what with cel-phone video, no matter where you are, nowadays, there's always a camera around!

Hell, if I was in charge of giving sex advice to young women, one thing I would tell them is to avoid sex positions in which you can't see what the dude is up to back there (I think we all know what I mean) or else you never know when you might be unwittingly starring in your own porn movie.

FakaktaSouth July 2, 2012 at 3:13 pm

My closet is plenty big enough for all the shoes I don't wear, the problem is my gymnastics routine is fairly intensive. But ya know, I is old, because cameras to me still sit on people's shoulders with vhs tapes in the side…I know I know…

Geminisunmars July 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm

I'm afraid I know only too well what you mean. We might as well enjoy our twilight years — while we can still remember them.

redarmyzombie July 3, 2012 at 4:40 am

You have my sympathies, MittBorg. I, too, have a shit-tastic memory, and I'm not even 25; as a matter of fact, my stoner friends have admitted to me they're glad I haven't done marijuana, if only because of that…

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 3:36 pm

(Hugs the Gem) I know I'm not planning to go like my parents. Like Bandicoot, I'm still enjoying life and it has quality. When that ends, so must I.

LionHeartSoyDog July 2, 2012 at 3:48 pm

What scares me is eventually becoming (in the distant future, hopefully) too feeble to end it with dignity when i feel it's time, and just lingering, and lingering… at huge expense.

LagunaB July 2, 2012 at 3:54 pm

How is the cat that was so distressed when Bandicoot was sick all night? Is he comforting Bandicoot now?

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 4:11 pm

That's what happened to my Dad, who was a veteran of WW II, and swore he would go before all the indignities of old age brought him down. In the end, he had lost his mind, and even the power of speech. It was terrifying to see. I'm not going like that. I think we're all responsible for making sensible plans and for not being so attached to our paltry lives that we outstay our usefulness.

Geminisunmars July 2, 2012 at 4:13 pm

That is what happened to my mother. She became too demented with dementia to off herself, as she'd always planned to do before it was "too late." I couldn't physically do it, but I did allow her to die when she came down with pneumonia. I'm hoping to drift off some night in sleep, or pop off with an unresuscitated hear attack, but unfortunately that isn't too likely, not when the health industry can make gazillions off of our last days (months, or years). My sis-in-law is now in a quality care facility – only $10,000 a month. Yes, a month.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 2, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I go to lunch and now I'm suddenly in a porno being filmed by prommie? Sweet!

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Hey, darls (Hugs the LagunaB). That guy is a little feline psycho. He was abused as a kitten and after I took him in, his Mom (to whom he was EXTREMELY attached) died of a heart attack. He can't see too well, and he can't smell too well (feline herpes), and Bandicoot kind of has the same pattern as his Mom, so he decided to get attached to Bandicoot.

This means that he has to have Bandicoot around, or he freaks out. Now, Bandicoot is a Little Buddha of a cat, but a guy needs a break from babysitting once in a while. So, let's just say that Gustav is not exactly comforting to anyone, but Bandicoot is comforting to all of us, including Gustav. My big worry is, what's going to happen to Gustav when Bandicoot goes? When Gustav's Mom died, he was depressed for weeks, screaming all night long (he has one of those Siamese voices, sounds like a water buffalo bellowing in the rice paddy) and refusing to eat.

Life is always interesting in this house, even when it's a pain in the ass. How you doing, sweetie? Busy, busy, busy?

LagunaB July 2, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Up at 4 am and out the door. Kinda mellow though. Nice people I am selling to for a change.I know that howl. My sister bought my dad 2 Manx cats and we drove them down to Laguna from SF. Sophie howled in my face all the way down. Totally miserable in the car.Years later when Sophie got sick and was taken to the vet. She had to be put down, feline leukemia. My mother said in 40 years she had never seen my father cry.I am sorry that Bandicoot is so sick.Sent from my iPhone

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Thanks for the kind thoughts. It's hard to lose anyone you love, whether fourfoot or two. Bandicoot's mostly better now, just old and fading, and wants to eat once every hour in bed, so we never get to sleep any more. But we love him, so we do what we have to.

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 8:53 pm

I totally love the guy, he's gotta have a corny sense of humour to have done the movies he did. So, I have a Heaven designed for you. Inhabited by a straight clone of Anderson, a younger Peter Graves, Leslie Nielsen, and Rachel Maddow. Add anyone else to your harem as you want.

FakaktaSouth July 2, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Wow!! That really does, for the first time ever, truly sound like MY kinda Heaven!

MittBorg July 2, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Don't think of it as being bribed for your vote. Think of it as electing A God You Can Believe In.

fuflans July 2, 2012 at 9:28 pm

HA! we are with you!! and all my best to bandicoot.

we have harry the beautiful gay supermodel who has outlived every vet's predictions and remained with us for the last 18 months (due to a grueling does of meds and fluids).

we would not want it any other way.

redarmyzombie July 3, 2012 at 4:47 am

Who wants popcorn!

MittBorg July 3, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Thanks, love. (Hugs fuflans wholeheartedly) Good wishes, no, best wishes to Harry. (Does he have a blog?)

My poor old-man kitty is sleeping peacefully next to me. He's such a sweet-natured fellow, and I know my heart will break when he goes. But that's life. We love anyway, and take the risk of loss.

Thank you, friend.

MittBorg July 3, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Wow, you should actually see a doctor about that. It's not normal to have severe memory problems at such an early age. Mine are undoubtedly age-related. I think of it as "too many records for the database." But when I was your age, I never wrote down telephone numbers or addresses, or, in fact, pretty much anything. I carried all the information in my head. Nowadays, I have trouble remembering friends' telephone numbers. Oy!

MittBorg July 3, 2012 at 11:29 pm

MEEEE!

redarmyzombie July 4, 2012 at 3:44 am

You know, I don't even like fish, and that sounded wonderful…

redarmyzombie July 4, 2012 at 4:15 am

I probably should, but to be fair I also have to say it's gotten better as I've become older; as a kid, I couldn't remember diddly-shit!

I should probably also explain that as a kid I was diagnosed with low-spectrum autism and attention deficit hyperactive disorder, both of which certainly didn't help…

emmelemm July 4, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Yes! Guy in the blue t-shirt. He told us his handle, which I did recognize, but I don't think he comments very much. Now I can't remember it!! Will think on it…

emmelemm July 6, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Just wanted to make sure you saw this from BigSkullFuckingDog:

"I think you guys talking about fairtackle? I'm following him, check me out."

MittBorg July 4, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Oh, OK. I was starting to worry about you! (It's my hobby. I worry about everything,) My sympathies. Let's hope you have the reverse of what most of us have – fantastic memories as children, no memories as adults. You'll go backwards, starting off with a bad memory and by the time you're 90, you'll be able to recite entire epic poems from memory, backward, for laughs.

MittBorg July 4, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Congratulations on setting some style in the lives of the yokels! Wish I could see your lovely hair. Bet you look great with your hair all styled and silver jewelry. As I grow older, I begin to appreciate all over again the very special charms of older women.

Maman July 4, 2012 at 3:59 pm

MittBorg, I was in my hometown burying my 104 year old grandmother. The last two years were really hard but she was fully functional until the end. As for her usefulness, she emanated hope for all us and kept us together even though we are all over the country. That was worth everything to us.

MittBorg July 4, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Thank you for sharing your grandmother's story, Maman. That sounds so wonderful. With my Dad, it was very different. The day my mother died, something broke inside his head. At first he couldn't recognize or remember my mother, then he couldn't remember me, and towards the end, he couldn't speak. We would talk to him, and he would make these noises, trying to participate in the conversations. He forgot all the English he had ever known, and little by little, he forgot all the other languages as well, and in the end he forgot language itself. When he started making inhuman noises, I knew the end was near. My father was gone, and the body in the bed was only a shell. I wish he'd had the same kind of farewell as your dear grandmother. He was a wonderful man, and deserved better. (Hugs Maman) Thank you. You made me think of my Dad fondly today.

Maman July 4, 2012 at 8:26 pm

I agree that your father's situation was awful and I don't want to be like that either. But I have every reason to believe that WON'T be you. So hang in there. And I am glad you thought about him fondly. Maybe in the beyond whatever it may be he will run across my nanny and they can laugh at us!

MittBorg July 4, 2012 at 8:33 pm

That's such a sweet thought. Thank you. (Hugs Maman)

redarmyzombie July 5, 2012 at 1:48 am

I've already got Jabberwocky and half of The Walrus And The Carpenter down pat! After that, it'll be on to Beowulf!

MittBorg July 5, 2012 at 2:27 pm

When you can recite the Mahabharata in Sanskrit, backwards, we'll hold an awards ceremony.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 6, 2012 at 12:52 am

I think you guys talking about fairtackle? I'm following him, check me out.

emmelemm July 6, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Thanks!!!

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: