veepstakes

Who Is Chris Christie Yelling At Today?

More like who ISN’T Chris Christie yelling at! It is why America loves him. For reminding us all of an abusive stepdad! Also who doesn’t want to just yell at everybody, all the time? Especially any reporter who would be so stupid, such a moronic idiot, as to actually ask a question that was not on an approved topic! The New Jersey governor is not having it! He simply is not!

So, we did not watch this video? Because we are tender-hearted and do not want to witness it when Governor Sammiches finally goes to the Big Coronary Ward in the Sky? But according to Mediaite, the idiot reporter asked a question about the legislature, instead of the approved topic: yet another Garden State Environmental Disaster. (TRENTON!)

Also, your editrix moved this weekend, and the cable company installed TV instead of Internet, so we are currently working from a Starbucks steps from downtown LA’s glowing and shiny and frankly celestial Skid Row, and there is a man yelling “DON’T BITCH OUT” at someone invisible. So if Chris Christie turns down the veep slot, we think we may have found a replacement. [Mediaite]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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102 comments

  1. Goonemeritus

    If Governor Christie were serious about saving water he would get into the bathtub before filling it.

    1. actor212

      He actually said he'd have the cops out enforcing water restrictions.

      Whatever happened to FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!?

      1. Goonemeritus

        They can have my tomato plants when they pry them from cold dead hands!
        PS–Do you think Christie has trained-up a few weight classes?

    2. MrFizzy

      I heard he just helicopters over to the local swimming pool for his baths. Can you imagine the amount of body wash it would take to cover him?

      1. tessiee

        "Can you imagine the amount of body wash it would take to cover him?"

        No, I can't! I won't!! And YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!

  2. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Fat and angry is no way to go through life. He should be more jolly. It would be better for his health.

  3. SorosBot

    First, Springsteen snubs him, now a reporter asks him a mean question; poor Christie, I'd feel bad for him if he wasn't an angry hateful mega-douche who deserves much worse.

  4. Estproph

    The entire state of New Jersey is Christie's lawn, and everyone keeps standing on it.

  5. AbandonHope

    Don't want to witness it? Hell, I'll buy it on Pay-Per-View. Because I'm an awful, awful libtard.

  6. Beowoof

    Answering questions would mean that actual facts may get out and the GOP and the big man just can't have that.

  7. memzilla

    Better reporter question:

    Reporter:"Gov. Christie, isn't it the case that this water main break — of a pipe probably 80 years old — has everything to do with your refusal to raise taxes on the very richest to pay for fixing the decaying infrastructure which is the root cause of the problem?"

    Christie: "Let 'em drink Evian!"

  8. FakaktaSouth

    Who is that fatass yelling at?

    I bet it's prommie. (but you know he started it)
    And the gubernatorial kitchen wait staff. WAIT? WAIT? I WILL NOT!
    The Power Company
    The person his wife is ACTUALLY fucking (I will NOT believe any human really does that with him)
    His pants.

    But really, screaming on the side of the road guy definitely has a much better point. DON'T BITCH OUT is my new theme for the whole day.

    1. prommie

      Christies lies and failures are starting to catch up to him, in the local news anyway. He has been giving billions, I mean literally billions, in subsidies to some really really stupid business projects (though in a way he subsidized the Black Keys concert at Revel, so Yay!) and the projects are totally circling the drain. The local press is completely over loving his Ralph Kramden act and just won't suck up to him the way they used to, and it turns out that in unemployment and other figures indicative of how NJ is doing, we are 42nd out of 50 in how well we have "recovered" from the recession. Apparently, his strategy for dealing with all this is to wave his huge sausage finger around and yell even louder and more insanely at anyone and everyone who dares notice that the fat fuck is a fat fucking loser fat fuck.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        See? Starting shit. I do hope he crashes and burns just like the hindenburg, I would love to see him go the fuck away, not rise up to the ranks of failed vp attempt-er. If all this shit makes him look bad enough fast enough we may be spared such.

        Black Keys! yay for real.

    2. tessiee

      "DON'T BITCH OUT is my new theme for the whole day"

      Right up there with DON'T TASE ME, BRO.

  9. ratcityrebel

    Not to pile on, but I find it hilarious that on the Wonkette front page this story was boxed by ads for sandwiches and ice cream.

  10. johnnyzhivago

    Give my governor a break!!!

    The Goldman Sachs executives who live in Rumson have to use their Perrier stock to water their lawns during this crisis, so you have to figure that the Governor is under a LOT of pressure.

  11. SorosBot

    After watching the video, he really is a total dick here; and man, these Republican governors all really seem to act like local authoritarian dictators, not democratically elected accountable representatives of the people.

    1. Tommy1733

      Totally true – he sometimes sounds reasonable and like a decent person, but then he just can't keep his nastiness where it belongs, which is nowhere really, for a public servant. And the question was apparently "are you going to address the legislature"?

  12. Joshua Norton

    Moving. Ugh. I've stayed where I am for 15 years because the mere thought of moving forces me to lay down on the cool bathroom floor until the fever passes.

    The horror!!!

  13. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I just told someone here at work to "Don't Bitch Out" and it did not go as well as expected. Oh well, at least now I will be able to get me some of that welfare everyone keeps talking about.

  14. johnnyzhivago

    BTW – this water main crisis is affecting the JOB CREATORS!!! My sister lives in Rumson (though she's almost normal) and noticed her Wall Street neighbor had some person walking around their house picking up dog turds. She asked them what the hell they were doing and it turned out they had a business picking up dog shit for Wall Street assholes who didn't want to touch it themselves.

    1. prommie

      See, trickle-down does work! Once the rich are made immune from all taxation, we will all have jobs picking up their dog shit, swabbing down the orgy room after parties, tongue-washing their yachts, peeling their grapes, fanning them, following them about singing songs of praise, etc etc.

  15. Billmatic

    Oh so he wasn't yelling about the fact that McDonald's doesn't carry a triple cheeseburger?

    1. tessiee

      Now I'm picturing Christie hitting Mitt with his hat and snapping, "That's ANOTHER fine mess you've gotten us into!", and Mitt crying.

        1. tessiee

          Although, if memory serves, Darlene's character on Roseanne was just as hateful to the ladies as she was to the gents.

  16. BarackMyWorld

    He was probably grumpy all the time because he's so hungry. Because he probably eats a lot…because he's fat.

  17. bflrtsplk

    Back in the 80s, the coach of the NJ Devils yelled at a ref: “Have another donut ya fat pig.“ Ya think he was yelling at Governor Pork Bellies instead? You know, like, from some time warp thingamajig?

  18. Tundra Grifter

    Chris Christie goes to Five Guys for a burger because it takes that many cooks to grill one big enough for him.

  19. MrFizzy

    Story just popped up on huffpo about how Bain Capital was investing in a company that (among other pleasant business lines) disposed of aborted fetuses. I guess in repub world it probably doesn't mean anything unless you're actually doing the aborting, but let's hope it dogs him for months.

    1. viennawoods13

      Well, also that he -how does one put it?- lied about when his involvement with Bain ended- as in what he says disagrees with what is on documents filed with the SEC. Awkward.

      1. BerkeleyBear

        Well, that's consistent with his campaign's hissy fit over the WaPo piece on outsourcing/offshoring. They keep insisting the SEC filings don't mean what they say – because who tells the truth in official government documents? Suckers, that's who.

    2. tessiee

      "a company that (among other pleasant business lines) disposed of aborted fetuses"

      Having worked in a hospital (although it was the administrative part), it's crossed my mind to wonder what they do with aborted fetuses, amputated limbs, tumors, etc. I suppose the ones that don't end up in a jar for the med students go into some big ol' sterile wood chipper dealie.

  20. Ducksworthy

    Christie speaking outside. In New Jersey? Do you know how hot it is in New Jersey? Was the a giant grease spot where he was standing?

  21. Antispandex

    "Just report what the fuck we tell you to report, and don't be asking questions and shit" Jezze, you can see I don't have my teleprompter, asshole." That I believe, is what Governor Crispy Cream meant. Leave the man alone. He's worried about YOU!….stupid.

  22. proudgrampa

    Rebecca, keep the cable TV. You can stay up to date with all the latest episodes of "Breaking Bad."

  23. fuflans

    huh.

    i thought 'don't bitch out' was what scotus said to 26 states, the National Federation of Independent businesses, and individual plaintiff Mary Brown.

  24. ArthurEther

    He's yelling at the wonderful Dan Gross from the Philadelphia Daily News. If there was still a viable newspaper under that masthead, Gross would deserve a raise.

  25. real_dc_native

    "there is a man yelling “DON’T BITCH OUT” at someone invisible"

    When ever I see someone like this on the bus or subway, I just make believe that they must have a Bluetooh headset that I can't see from where I am. I find this makes me feel safe and content and much happier.

    On the other hand there are hundreds of potential GOP VP candidates on public transit in DC if you use this criteria.

  26. Callyson

    your editrix moved this weekend, and the cable company installed TV instead of Internet

    Rebecca, sorry to hear this, but I am also glad to know I am not the only one who has had issues with the idiots and assholes at Time Warner Cable. Remember when we had Adelphia instead, and got much better service? I miss the crooks…

  27. tessiee

    Good Lord, but he's a big buckaroo, isn't he?
    Yes, I know it's a cheap shot.
    No, I don't mind a little something to hold onto.
    But he's easily twice as wide as everybody else in the screen shot.
    His kitchen staff ought to mix in a few salads, or a little turkey bacon or something. I mean, what's he gonna do, get up and kick their asses?

  28. deanbooth

    there is a man yelling “DON’T BITCH OUT” at someone invisible.

    Back in the day (onion on my belt, etc.), it was rare to come across whackos like this. Now that we've got cell phones, they're everywhere.

    [Zombie Reagan's mental healthcare program: Distribute used Bluetooth ear phones to the mentally ill. They'll blend in.]

  29. ttommyunger

    I believe it is sophomoric, juvenile, adolescent and unkind to the extreme to continue to point out this unfortunate person's all-too- obvious lard content. Kudos!

  30. Baba_NinjaCat12

    Chris Christie, ordinary Democrat
    One day he ate a contaminated White Castle Burger in Trenton.
    From the burger was an overdose of gamma radiation which interacts with his unique body chemistry.
    Now when Chris Christie gets angry, a startling metamorphous occurs.
    He became fat, then a republican and now a New Jersey Republican Governor.
    The creature is driven by hunger,
    Annoyed by liberals, teachers and reporters who asked dumb question,
    He must control the ranging sprit of hungriness,
    He is ‘The Incredible ManBlimp’

  31. real_dc_native

    Do they have any in Washington? This could be big in DC, especially if yo pick up the stuff from bulls and horses too!

  32. wondering where i am

    They clean your cat's litter box too. And have cat testimonials:

    "Now that my litter box is always clean, I can really relax." says Sheba.

    You know what I say? Ewwww.

Comments are closed.