fun with money

Truly shocking, Mitt Romney has moved on from chastising America for copying him to more important things, like the fact that education is expensive for a reason: so that only people who can afford it are permitted to get it. So true! While in Virginia on Friday, Romney said that while America may be “the land of opportunity for every single person,” when it comes down to it there is not quiiiiiiite enough opportunity to go around, and education is great, but a person should really only get “as much education as they can afford and with their time they’re able to get,” which is a weird, as well as an evil, sentence.

Via Think Progress, here’s the extent of Romney’s remarks. There was a video, but it doesn’t appear to be working, which is fine, who wants to see that square robot head on a Friday?

I think this is a land of opportunity for every single person, every single citizen of this great nation. And I want to make sure that we keep America a place of opportunity, where everyone has a fair shot. They get as much education as they can afford and with their time they’re able to get and if they have a willingness to work hard and the right values, they ought to be able to provide for their family and have a shot of realizing their dreams.

We can confirm this was Romney speaking because of the words “this great nation.”

This is far less generous than Romney’s April idea, which was for students who can’t “afford” an education to borrow money from their parents instead of the government. Included in that statement was also “start a business,” because that does not require any skill you can learn in school.

Not that any of this is surprising at all. On the trail in Ohio back in February, Romney said there “will be some [candidates] who get up in a setting like this and talk about how they’re going to give you a bunch of government money…that’s not who I am.”

Because government money is for…what is it for? For looking at. [Think Progress]

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  • Hera Sent Me

    Romney's worth $250 million, and he's completely ignorant about the way 99% of Americans live their lives.

    Guess he didn't take his own advice.

    • He's actually worth more than that. In addition to a $100 million trust fund that he set up for his sons, he controls, through his wife and family, a great deal more money than shows up in his asset balance sheet.

      • He likely has a GRAT, which means technically he no longer owns the assets therein.

        • sullivanst

          Hence the word "controls".

          It should still be factored in, however – it's just pre-bequeathed personal wealth.

          Actually what is the technical ownership status of a GRAT? The kids can't technically own it all already either, otherwise the transfer would've invoked the gift tax. Wiki says if the grantor dies before the period expires, the trust becomes part of the Grantor's estate, which to me strongly suggests he still owns it.

          • The Trust owns it. If the giftor dies before the term of the GRAT ends, it goes to the estate. If he outlives the GRAT term, it gets gifted to the beneficiaries, free of gift tax. IANAL, but I have a little practical knowledge of this.

            The benefit is he does not have to pay estate tax on the gift, either, unless he dies first. He cannot trade within the GRAT (e.g. sell one asset and buy another) but the trustee can.

            He doesn't "own" it, per se, as he does not pay income tax on the income of the assets. Rather, he pays income tax on an annuity which is based on the value of the assets gifted.

            Which is usually the income thrown off by the asset :-/

          • sullivanst

            Ah, so. Working all this shit out must be another of those rich people problems I wish I had.Let me guess, Trusts are people too, my friend?

          • ChessieNefercat

            My financial issues boil down to who's the lucky utility that gets paid this month?

        • Technically. He still controls them, though. I shouldn't be in the least bit surprised to find that there are substantial trust funds for the grandchildren over which he has control.

          • Probably not. Generation Skipping Taxes would come into play there. The grandkids probably just get annual gifts, some small trusts, and the one time lifetime exclusion benefit of a million and change.

          • BerkeleyBear

            I'm just guessing more, since the lifetime gift exclusion jumped up to 5 million for tax years 2011 and 2012, and his people are savvy enough to have squeezed the shit out of that window the moment it happened, potential clawback efforts be damned. Plus I'm sure that they make Annie a separate donor for tax purposes, doubling the amounts they can avoid taxes on by using a joint account.

      • tessiee

        I think that's the second thing those rich fucks learn how to do, is hire some smart lawyers and accountants to hide their money.*
        *The first thing they do being, of course, to set up their money so that it continually makes *more* money.

        • Most Poorz don't realize that Mittens could sit on his ass from now till the day he plotzes and never have to worry about a penny.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Government money is for repaying the new incumbents debt to their Superpac supporters.

  • Barb

    Mitt's only struggle for wealth was squeezing his face out of his mother's vagina and drawing his first breath.

    • Thanks for tonight's nightmare!

      • Biff

        Yeah–it brought Jack Nicholson's "Here's Johnny!" from "The Shining" vividly to mind.

        • tessiee

          Or Belial from "Basket Case".

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I bet even his first breath was drawn for him.

      • Possibly by Frida Kahlo, altho she was primarily a painter.

        • Chichikovovich

          A Mexican? He would be running for President, for Pete's sake!

    • b[redact]opple

      I don't know. I've always found it very difficult to imagine Lenore Romney having a vagina.

    • "I didn't always have it easy. I spent my first 9 months in a tiny womb, just barely big enough for me. Couldn't see anything — all I could do was kick the walls and hope somebody knew I was down there. That's right, no school breakfasts, or lunches, or foodstamps; I had to get by on what little sustenance came in through a single tube. So I know what it means to get held up by the ankles and spanked!"

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        "And as soon as I was out, I pulled up my own boot straps and started walking. No one every carried me around or fed me or changed my diapers. I did that all on my own without the government's handouts."

    • spends2much

      That was also the last time his face was anywhere near a vagina. Mittens does it for procreation only, and only if Ann promises not to mess with his hair.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Oh come on Barb…you've heard RMoney's tales of woe before. After being born to the best name in the state, attending the best schools and going to college on his dad's dime he utilized contacts from his father's name and his (totally earned) Harvard classmates to start a money-laundering operation staffed by a bunch of Mormon Gordon Geckos. He's just like us…hard work and coming from poverty to be worth 260 million…in fact, his retort to the whole "you're an over-privileged asshole who's greatest concern in life has been just who to fire" is "my dad didn't leave me a trust fund when he died"….really Mittbot…you mean he didn't give you ENOUGH of an advantage in life? George Romney should be raised from the dead so he can strangle and devour this spoiled, oily-jointed, magic underwear wearing, hair helmet having monopoly man-prick..

      • 12X34X


    • extreme_left

      ..he does have another's so hard to find good help these days.. really there needs to be less support for poors ensuring a compliant and obsequious help.

      In Australia our Riches have got it right, they are formulating a scheme to get Socialist money to foot their Nanny bills.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    For some reason this reminds me of the old adage, you don't wait to have a baby until you can afford it as, you never will be able to afford it. Leaving my ex and I to decide that maybe we could only have half a baby at a time.

    Yes…this comment is pure Romney gold……………………….

    • tessiee

      "Leaving my ex and I to decide that maybe we could only have half a baby at a time."

      Here I thought you were a small cute dog, and all along, you've been King Solomon.

  • Boojum

    Stay ignorant poor people. Those horses aren't going to dress themselves.

    • Biff

      Maybe not, but I bet I still remember how to field dress large animals.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Mmmm … steaks we like!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Riding my dancing pony off to the edumacation shop to buy me all the smarts I can afford!

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Mittens, can you just convince Gilligan to run that menial errand for you? <g>

    • tessiee

      You have a dancing pony???

    • 12X34X


  • lochnessmonster

    Has he been taking speaking lessons for Sarah Palin? My head is spinning trying to make any sense of the last sentence. Ppl should be forced to read what he says before they vote for him…

    • boobookitteh

      "America is the land of opportunity as long as you have money and time to go to school – e.g. no demands on your time from kids or other family members you may have to support. Otherwise, you're not going to be able to educate yourself and you'll be mired in multi-generational poverty. Mostly because you weren't willing to work hard enough and you didn't have good values."

      It sounds more palatable in the original Derp.

    • Biff

      $arah made gibberish not only acceptable, but expected.

      • tessiee

        She was the Shakespeare of gibberish.

        • LetUsBray

          Got to celebritate it.

    • Rotundo_

      Anyone voting for Mittens would find it genius level prose. "How is babby formed" is pretty sophisticated for most of them. The only folks backing this trustafarian legacy are rich or stupid or both.

    • NellCote71

      Voter rights libel.

  • CrunchyKnee

    Government money is for killing the Browns, and war, also too.

    • nounverb911

      Jerry or Murphy?

      • Mrs., who has a lovely daughter.


      • sullivanst

        Kody, his four wives, and seventeen children, maybe?

  • He is only giving voice to those who have purchased his speech. One's heirs deserve the education they can afford to inherit! That is the legacy of this great nation.

    • pdiddycornchips

      Serfs need an education like a fish needs a bicycle. Work until you are old and then die. For Freedom!

  • Fairtackle

    If you have to ask how much your education is going to cost, you probably can't afford it. Also you probably don't have the right values.

    • CivicHoliday

      that "the right values" line is almost more odious than the rest of what he said, as if your inability to afford college is due to some moral failing on your part.

      • tessiee

        But don't you know that rich people are better than poor people? And that poor people are only poor because they're weak and lazy, and don't understand the value of hard work and thrift?

        That's exactly what people like Mittens really believe, down in their shriveled, atrophied little hearts. They don't even do a very good job of pretending otherwise, because they don't see what's wrong with that belief — and also because they're as dumb as a stone boat.

  • Boojum

    I don't think Romney sees Hunger Games as being a dystopia.

    • DYStopia? Be grateful he doesn't see it as Utopia!

      • Boojum

        For Romney, it would be a Imeminetopia.

        • All through the day…

        • I wouldn't be surprised to hear he didn't like the Beatles. (slouches off, whistling)

          • sullivanst

            All You Need Is … A Few Hundred Million Dollars.

          • Because, you know, he hasn't a prayer (heh) of getting teh other.

          • sullivanst

            In any sense of "getting it".

          • Precisely.

      • tessiee

        A certain frothy mix thought "The Handmaid's Tale" was utopia, so it could be worse.

        • That troglodyte! Will he be Rmoney's Veep?

    • Biff

      I haven't seen the movie so I don't know, but if there's any bare breasteses in it, you can bet he'll never see it either.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        As long as they're impaled on bloody arrows, I'm pretty sure that bare breasts are not considered obscene.

        • Biff

          Kebabs, yum!

        • tessiee

          Lenny Bruce said that breastesses were OK in war or atrocity pictures, "If the titty is dirty, it's clean. If the titty is pretty, it's filthy."

      • ChessieNefercat

        I knew someone about 15 years ago who used the term "breastesses." I haven't heard it since, and all of a sudden it's back. This is the third time I've seen it this week.

        Now what is it this time that all the cool kids know about and I don't?

        • Biff

          The term comes from a recurring skit on “In Living Color”, so yeah, we be gettin' old!

  • nounverb911

    Remind me to lend my kids $25 million to start their start-up.

    • Biff

      Fine, but how much will you be investing in her education first?

    • ChessieNefercat

      I told my daughter about that comment of his. She has paid her way clear through grad school (finish this year maybe) and will have the loan payments to show for it.

      She laughed and laughed and laughed, which after I thought about it for a bit, made me realize what a peasant I am.

  • This is far less generous than Romney’s April idea, which was for students who can’t “afford” an education to borrow money from their parents instead of the government. Included in that statement was also “start a business,” because that does not require any skill you can learn in school.

    Starting a business is also a fantastic way to not go into debt.

    • Fairtackle

      Yeah, what could possibly go wrong?

      • Jus_Wonderin

        It can only go wrong if you use your own money. I think that is what Mitt is saying.

        • Well, some of his best friends are hoodwinks and goniffs.

          Oh, hi, Donald Trump!

      • You could hire a private equity firm at nearly $1 million/year, which encourages you to take out massive loans, which are then used to pay massive dividends to said private equity firm, even while the debt is causing your business to go bankrupt.

        I mean, hypothetically.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Not if your parents have a couple of million on them. Come on Joe, try to keep in touch with the common man!

      • sullivanst

        Hey now, your parents didn't become multimillionaries by just giving money away, even to family. That's gotta be paid back, y'know, with interest, sonny jim.

    • tessiee

      "Starting a business is also a fantastic way to not go into debt."

      I've worked for a family who owned their own restaurant, and a relative was married to a guy whose family owned their own restaurant, and my observation is that if you want to start your own restaurant, you need a lot of cash up front…
      so that you can go to a psychiatrist and find out what the HELL is wrong with you.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Sorry, you can only learn to count to twelve and the first 15 letters on the alphabet.
    No Q for you!

    • Grease my palm if you want the times tables, kid!

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        If you need to ask how much fractions cost, you can't afford them.

        • Atsa code. You needa da free decoding book. Atsa one dollar printing charge.

      • "Oh, no, Mrs Smith! The first 25 are free! We're running a sale this semester."

        • You know, I could get one of those wheeled carts with the umbrellas, and sell reading lessons along with churros and FlavorIce!

          • I saw a film the other day, Nightjohn. Mitt would return us to those days. Punish those who teach the ignorant to read by chopping off their fingers.

          • sullivanst

            Although, it would be interesting to see how Scalia and Roberts twist themselves in knots to justify the constitutionality of that as Federal policy when a Republican is in the White House.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            "Da Constitution don't say nuttin' 'bout fingers."
            -Antonin "Nine Fingers" Scalia

          • As ragey and purple as Fat Tony is these days, I'm expecting he'll plotz long before that happens. Biely, please let it be while President Obama is in office so we can get someone DECENT on the court.

          • sullivanst

            We wouldn't even need a Ginsburg or a Stevens (and even Stevens' record has a few parts I consider blemishes), replacing Scalia with a centerist would transform the court in a wonderful way.

            It must be frustrating arguing before Nino, knowing that even quoting his own past opinions at him doesn't stand any chance of stopping him from going full wingnut in every case.

          • Hearing his venomous outburst right before the ACA decision was shocking to me. Such behaviour simply is not acceptable from someone sitting on the highest court in the land. His actions with regard to political machers like the Kochs alone should suffice to impeach him. This lack of decorum from someone in his position has an influence on those around him. He wasn't always *this* extreme, and I wish someone would make a good case for impaired judgment with an eye to removing him from the bench.

          • sullivanst

            Do you mean Monday's immigration rant?

            Yeah, the idea of someone approvingly citing the pre-War South's black exclusion laws is quite stomach-turning, isn't it? Almost makes you wonder whether he faps to paintings of Roger Taney at night, until you remember that you do not want to think about that.

          • Actually, I don't want to think about Scalia or Thomas at all, and deeply regret that I am not able to ignore them as they deserve. Rotten bastids with power.

          • tessiee

            "Hearing his venomous outburst right before the ACA decision was shocking to me. Such behaviour simply is not acceptable from someone sitting on the highest court in the land."

            Scalia is disgusting in every way I can think of and probably a few that I can't. He and Charlie Rangel make me almost embarrassed to be Italian-American.

          • He grew up in an era when prejudice against Italian Americans was rampant. He, of all people, should realize that by behaving like such a nakedly partisan sleazebag, he is bringing disgrace to everything he worked all his life for. I don't even understand how he can be so self-destructively hateful. He would rather destroy the institution that he has striven all his life to be part of than behave like a rational adult. This mystifies me.

        • tessiee

          "The first 25 are free! We're running a sale this semester."

          That's how they got me in that God damn record club.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Mr. Romney went on to say "When I was at Harvard, I nearly shook hands with a poor person. It took me years of outsourcing jobs and bankrupting companies to put that terrifying experience behind me."

    • tessiee

      OK, OT but true story:
      Shortly after I moved out of my parents' house, I met one of my then boyfriend's friends who, unbeknownst to me, came from a family with a LOT of money. The following conversation occurred:
      Me: I'm having trouble renting an apartment.
      Richie: Why don't you put down several thousand dollars?
      Me: I don't HAVE several thousand dollars!
      Richie: Oh… You're POOR.
      Me [nonplussed but not offended]: Um, yeah, I guess.
      R [mortified]: I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I've never met a poor person before… well, except servants, of course.

  • translation: "well, the world needs ditch-diggers too."

    • No!! That's stimulus make-work!!!1!

    • And they do, to be fair and not everyone should go to college, but it shouldn't come down to how much a kid can afford.

      • Because me, I'd rather fund a million Albert Einsteins and Franz Kafkas through college than one more "gentleman's C" loser of the ilk that gave us what this country turned into over the past couple of decades.

        • Damn fucking straight.

          I went to a high school, a public high school, where you had to be tested academically for admittance. Everyone who entered paid the same amount: $0. You earned your way in on merit, and you graduated and went to college (98% of us did) on merit.

          The rich kids who didn't make it had their little private prep schools where the teacher-student ratio was 4-1 and if they needed help, they were given it. And they still got middling grades and middling SATs, but then Daddy paid for the gymnasium and *poof* suddenly they were drinking beer like motherfuckers matriculating at Harvard.

          • Well, in all fairness, they were ALSO drinking beer like motherfuckers.

            When did education turn into something from which to plunder funds?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Stuy, or Science?

      • tessiee

        Yes — not to mitigate (ha) Mitt's loathsome, out-of-touch dickishness, but part of the problem that schools, prospective students, and prospective employers are dealing with is that college really isn't for everybody. Some kids *shouldn't* go to college — and by that, I don't mean because they're not smart, but because they're better suited for different kinds of jobs. There are perfectly nice, smart, skilled carpenters and electricians and auto mechanics who are worthy of respect. Of course, if it even needs to be said, that's not to imply that college should be for rich kids only, or that non-college jobs shouldn't pay a decent wage.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Because government money is for…what is it for? For looking at.

    No, silly. It is to be given to the rich so they can create jobs in India and China.

  • elburritodeluxe

    This is sort of like disarming us economically and prostrating us at the feet of India, China and the developing world.

    • pdiddycornchips

      If history is any guide, by the end of Romney's first term, Ann will be telling us to eat cake. I'm trying to raise money for a hedge fund that invests in pitchforks and torches if anyone is interested.

    • Rotundo_

      That would be the point of all this: They want to reduce us to a third world status as far as health, compensation and life in general so they can get their cheap shit made in America like it was in their grand daddies time: by children in factories working machinery with no guards or shoveling poop or coal 18 hours a day for the cost of a cheeseburger. Utopia for the wealthy…

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    And meanwhile, we will continue to defund education so that nobody can afford learnin past kindergarten.

    • sullivanst

      Pretty sure they want to repeal kindergarten, too. Well, at least one of them seems to.

  • scvirginia

    Thank FSM, the hallowed halls of the School of Hard Knocks will always be open…

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    As long as they have the right values? And what values would those be?

    • TribecaMike

      The ones that say white means right.

    • Depends. How big's their bank balance?

    • pdiddycornchips

      I think he meant asset values. Hey Mitt, it's the collective values of most Americans that prevents us from burning your house down and looting the contents.

    • CivicHoliday

      "She loves Jesus, and America too…and I'm freeeee, freeee faaallllin'…"

    • tessiee

      Stockholm Syndrome; ass-kissing worship of their "betters", and internalizing the shame and self-loathing that the "betters" think is their rightful due.

      "God bless the Squire and his relations,
      and keep us all in our proper stations."

  • Mitt has found that riding working stiffs calms his shakes. He has bought many of them, for the tax write-off.

  • poorgradstudent

    You're quoting Mitt Romney out of context. He also said that his policies will ensure that higher education will be completely worthless too.

  • Republicans boldly take on Big Poor.

    • Odd Breitbart never took on that website…

    • arihaya

      Beggars Sect libel !!

  • ph7

    Everyone has a fair shot. They get as much education as they can afford

    This makes sense, if you define "fairness" by the weight of the wallet on the floor of your Mom's bedroom.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Or the change in mass thereof.

    • tessiee

      What about the amount of money on Mitt's mother's dresser?

  • Baconzgood

    Fuck this. I'm going to get some empenadas. Have a good weekend Wonkers.

    • You take it easy, Baconzgood. Don't let 'em drive you to drink. Too much. (Hugs the li'l piglet)

  • TribecaMike

    "have a shot of realizing their dreams"? Since when did Mormons start promoting alkyhol?

    • PubOption

      2nd amendment dog whistle.

      • TribecaMike

        18th Amendment cat scratch fever.

  • SorosBot

    "And I want to make sure that we keep America a place of opportunity, where everyone has a fair shot."

    Keep? We haven't had a fair shot since the Reagan years.

  • widestanceromance

    "What a knob."

    • TribecaMike

      Mitt's going to be hearing that a lot in London.

      • He's going to be hearing a *lot* of things in London. Just because they like your money and your politics doesn't mean they like *you,* Mittney.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          I'm pretty sure the windows on his Rolls will be nice and thick, so he won't hear anything he doesn't want to hear. Straight from one quiet room to another.

          • TribecaMike

            It's worked for Blair and Cameron so far.

  • Chichikovovich

    It was a subsequent clause that made me raise my eyebrows even more:

    if they have ….the right values, they ought to be able to provide for their family and have a shot of realizing their dreams.

    "the right values?" And as for the people who have "the wrong values", as those are evaluated by an AFA-pandering high-level Mormon apparently devoid of genuine sympathy or fellow-feeling to anyone of less than a robber baron standard of wealth and social standing?

    Who cares if they can pursue their dreams or support their family? Or, if they're gay, even have a legally recognized one.

  • SayItWithWookies

    "…and stay the hell out of Cranbrook Academy, need-based scholarship people, or I will hold you down and cut your hair."

    • tessiee

      In related news, Columbine is now safe for bullies once again. Let the healing begin.

  • Biff

    I got exactly as much education as I could afford. Hey, the world still needs ditch diggers, doesn't it?

    Damn, hat-tip to Gratuitous World…

  • Sassomatic

    AS much education as you can afford, huh? Well, if your parents are rich, you can become a doctor. If your parents are poor, you get to watch videos about how the Loch Ness monster is real, and Jesus kept dinosaurs as pets.

  • sullivanst

    Wow, it's only barely possible to extract the intended meaning from that word soup, and sheesh does it taste bad…

    Mr. Romney, it's a fairly fucking obvious principle that the economy does best by maximizing the potential of every worker. That means that allocating education by criteria other than potential results on suboptimal economic performance. The ability of prospective students to afford postsecondary education is primarily a function not of their potential but of parental wealth, which has little to do with the child's innate potential. Ergo, your proposal is harmful to this country.

    Please fuck off. For America.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Woah, woah. Hang on a sec there, tiger. I didn't see the words "this great nation" anywhere in your statement.

      • sullivanst

        OK OK,

        Please fuck off. For this great nation, US America.

        Happier? :P

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Now you're talkin' Republican!

        • anniegetyerfun


    • Hell, sullivan, for the WORLD.

  • neiltheblaze

    "Everyone should get as much education their Dad, the Big Auto exec, can pay for."

    • hippie13

      And get to play just enough cop that your dad the gov can allow.

  • The things that come spilling out of this hairsprayed french-cuffed perfidious assweasel's piehole have ceased to amaze. He is going to utter the words "let them eat cake" at some point, and then will defend this by saying when he lived in France (er, uh, FreedomLand) they ate bread all the time AND THEY LOVED IT.

    • tessiee

      "He is going to utter the words "let them eat cake" at some point"

      He does seem remarkably and hilariously tone-deaf, doesn't he? It's only a matter of time until he makes some sort of "you people" gaffe.

  • SoBeach

    …and if you can't afford to pay for college, at least you know you're free.

  • anniegetyerfun

    So, remember, kids: if all you can manage to do is finish 10th grade before you have to go to work at McDonald's in order to support your ailing parents and/or younger siblings, and then you can never really afford to have a family of your own because you can only make minimum wage, why, that's just part of being a CITIZEN of This Great Nation (TM).

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      With cuts to Medicaid and Medicare, and the abolition of Obamacare, the old farts won't last too long, because you won't be able to outbid anybody in the free market for medical care. All you have to do is look out for number one, like Jeebus and St. Galt intended, and voilá – another problem solved by the invisible hand!

    • anniegetyerfun

      It totally. I guess I wasn't thinking of a TRUE capitalist utopia, where the poor PAY their employers in order to have work.

  • TribecaMike

    OT, but so many conservatives have moved to Canada since yesterday that Canadians are all moving to Iceland.

    In other news, a major Ontario arms manufacturer has announced that seventy million land mines have "gone missing."

    • Nostrildamus

      Hey Canadians, if life gives you conservatives, make poutine! It's basically just fat and grease anyway.

  • One thing students can't afford is a President Romney.

    • One thing students humanity the world can't afford is a President Romney.

  • Yea, you had your choice. It's not MY fault Jesus Joseph Smith loved me more than you.

    • TribecaMike

      Two bits of advice: avoid jail cells and murderous mobs.

  • You don't need no education
    You just need some thought control
    No poor people in the classroom
    Union teacher all alone
    Union thug! Leave them kids alone!
    All in all it's just another gold brick for wall st
    All in all it's just another gold brick for wall st

    • If ye don't make yer numbers, ye can't have a Beamer. How kin ye have a Beamer ef ye don't make your nut?

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    And we get as much doctoring as we're able to afford, right? Heck, we should only get as much speech as we're able to afford, seeing as they're interchagneable. Maybe Mitt will charge admission for political gatherings … you know, to keep the riffraff from scaring the horses and such.

    Welcome to the United States of Kolob.

    • TribecaMike

      Can dressage horses be bred on stars? Inquiring atheists wanna know.

  • Fox n Fiends

    Its nice to see the blatant aristocracy that the Right is aspiring to be so blatantly revealed.

    • tessiee

      Masters of deception, they're not.
      Between the delusions of grandeur that are instilled in them from birth, and the resulting belief that ruling over us is no more than their rightful due, they can't be bothered to pretend any more.

  • Given that most high school stoodents will probably believe that Washington crossed the Delaware on a dinosaur to escape British Mooslims, it's not likely that most would even be able to get admitted to a college anyway.

    • TribecaMike

      How many British Mooslims can fit into the British Mooseum?

      • anniegetyerfun


        ETA: This is not true, as Britain is pretty much all-Muslim now.

    • Nostrildamus

      Romney thinks Washington crossed the Delaware to investigate outsourcing alternatives.

      • snackypants

        Delaware does have the most favorable corporate environment.

  • On the bright side, all of US can look forward to being the educated elite of society in a few years! I think I'm going to subscribe to the NY Review of Books now!

    • hippie13

      Serfin USA! Some shaky tart on a tax exempt horse is no basis for a system of govt.

  • Slim_Pickins

    Are the "right values" something like those of Bernie Maddoff?

    • TribecaMike

      "Oh brother, where art thou? "

      "One cell over, ya putz!"

  • Franknflower

    I keep worrying they will fix this faulty circuit in his positronic brain and Mitt will quit reminding us how much he doesn't care about us.

  • Beetagger

    I believe Mittens is in need of a good, old fashioned ass-kicking.

  • Rotundo_

    Contrary to legend, they won't let just any asshole out there run for president. Mittens isn't just any asshole, he is a truly magnificent specimen. Go back to vulture capitalism Mittens, it suits your character so much more than politics. You would have to evolve quite a ways to reach the level of the average politician.

    • tessiee

      "Go back to vulture capitalism Mittens, it suits your character so much more than politics."

      Now I'm thinking of the "Be a Dentist" song from "Little Shop of Horrors".

  • JackObin

    Romney is living proof that not drinking makes one stupid.

  • Wilcoxyz

    Romney saying people "should have a shot at realizing their dreams" seems sort of cryptic. Like playing the lottery gives you a shot at winning, so good for you!

  • anniegetyerfun

    They get as much education as they can afford and with their time they’re able to get and if they have a willingness to work hard and the right values

    To think, conservatives were foaming at the mouth over Obama's lack of subject-verb agreement in papers written during his college years.

    • Millennial Malaise

      Thank you! I had to read it five times before I could decipher what the hell he was trying to say.

  • OurDailyBread

    Since first graders don't have jobs, they cannot afford first grade. But in third grade every student will be a janitor, so the kids can then afford their educations.

  • mavenmaven

    Like in the trix commercial: Silly kids, education is for robots!

  • Willardbot9000_V2.5

    Yeah Mittens…I have it, we'll just go borrow $100,000 from our parents because they have that kind of money just "laying around" like yours did. You know, the only thing worse than an out-of-touch, over-privileged rich guy is when he's that and a complete prick about it as well.

  • is it possible this tone deaf privileged nerd with the personality of stale weetabix could actually become our president?

  • tessiee

    "While in Virginia on Friday, Romney said that while America may be “the land of opportunity for every single person,” when it comes down to it there is not quiiiiiiite enough opportunity to go around, and education is great, but a person should really only get “as much education as they can afford and with their time they’re able to get,”"

    Which caused Zombie Thomas Jefferson to stop thinking about how he founded the University of Virginia, rise up out of his coffin, and bitch slap Mitt, right?

  • tessiee

    Yo Mitt, I'm really happy for you, I'ma let you finish, but my man Barry just kept student loan rates from doubling, which is one of the best ways of keeping education affordable of all time. Also, he is totally gonna kick you right in your spoiled lazy ass come November.

  • ttommyunger

    "Just another brick in the wall." My friend…

  • arihaya

    if Obama's America is really the socialist hellhole that wingnuts warned us about, we will be having Romney's horses for BBQ by now.

  • BZ1

    more babblespeak, but this is an appalling look at how to educate

  • southernbeale

    "…and if they have a willingness to work hard and the right values…"

    WTF does that mean? So some people are more equal than others because they have "the right values"??

    What a horrible, horrible person.

  • hippie13

    Well he is the one who first brought us romneycare and the enshrinement of his insurance pals to take 30% off the top.

  • DahBoner

    My Chones compliments to my Mexican Millionaire Papi!

    I had such good taste choosing to be born to this top-shelf daddy…

  • reasonbran

    Welcome to Mitten's Land of No-pportunity!

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